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1
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:08,312
[ Baby crying ]
2
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:12,534
- ♪ I'm not as crazy
as I used to be ♪
3
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:15,928
♪ Some of my devils
up and left me free ♪
4
00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:17,930
♪ To find a quiet space
5
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,107
♪ I'm not as out of place
6
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:23,588
♪ And I'm coming home again
7
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,069
♪ It's been
too long a time ♪
8
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,202
♪ Gettin' back what's mine
9
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:33,076
♪ And I can't remember
why I went away ♪
10
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,994
♪ But it's looking now
like maybe I can stay ♪
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00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,996
Was that any good?
12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,085
[ Electronic tones warble ]
13
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,695
- I've been streaming
some examples
14
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:46,089
of how moms connect
with their daughters.
15
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,308
Seems like we're
supposed to binge-eat
16
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,918
while talking
about disappointment.
17
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:49,962
Mm? You go fir--
18
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,181
- [ Foreign accent ]
Hey! Trophy!
19
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,575
Get to work,
you spoiled potato couch!
20
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,143
We funeral home,
not cruise ship deck!
21
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,667
- I am at work -- being
a stay-at-home mom to Annie.
22
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:01,017
- Hey! Motherhood curse, not job.
23
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,586
- We are working on our
mother-daughter bond, Baba.
24
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,718
We can't just expect her
to suddenly know
25
00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:09,852
how to make hot cocoa
or listen when I talk.
26
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,723
- It'll free up a lot
of my emotional bandwidth
27
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,117
when my spray-tan membership
expires next month.
28
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:17,381
- Look! I give ultimatum
my baba gave me --
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00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:19,253
work for family funeral home,
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00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:22,299
get job in village,
or marry brother.
31
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,084
- You picked
funeral home, right?
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00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,216
- I don't remember.
My baba chose for me.
33
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,523
- Hey, sis! You know
I'm game for whatevs,
34
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,786
but I picked
"work for family funeral home."
35
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,657
I was born with
resting-grief-face,
36
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:33,832
I get to work with my mom,
37
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,617
and touching corpses
doesn't bother me.
38
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,575
In fact, I prefer it!
39
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,360
- I'll get a job.
40
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,188
♪♪
41
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:44,060
- You're not remotely qualified
for these positions.
42
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,541
Architect?
Gastrointestinal surgeon?
43
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:47,846
Female Ghostbuster?
44
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,761
You're a high school-dropout.
45
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,328
- With escort experience.
46
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,983
- Under "employment history"
you've just listed movies
47
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,724
you've seen in the theater.
48
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,421
You saw "Homeward Bound" twice?
49
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,945
- The dogs and cats talk in it.
[ Device chimes ]
50
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,687
- The app requires
a Florida thumbprint?
51
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,211
- Ugh.
52
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,255
There we are.
53
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,127
[ Device chirps ]
[ Alarm wailing ]
54
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,829
[ Screams ] Oh, no!
55
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,178
Instead of arresting me,
56
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,311
what do you say
I flash you for it, mm?
57
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,051
- You have the right
to remain clothed.
58
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,184
Any breasts you expose can
and will be held against you
59
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,491
in a court of law.
- [ Sighs ] Ugh.
60
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:24,970
♪♪
61
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,885
- Your Honor,
my client is now aware
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00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,540
that mermaids
aren't real -- ever.
63
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:30,802
In addition, he's prepared
64
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,456
to completely abstain
from energy drinks.
65
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,893
- A misunderstanding
is what it was.
66
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,895
- I'll dismiss the charges,
but you're not allowed
67
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,810
within 1,000 feet of a manatee.
68
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,552
Unless, of course,
it's over the age of consent.
69
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,815
- Potential Felon 223.
70
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:46,731
- Where's my lawyer?
- Did you download the app?
71
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,211
- No?
- Oh, you should have.
72
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,214
Trophy Fantasy, you have
numerous outstanding warrants.
73
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:54,739
Petty theft, arson, lewd
behavior in a buffet restaurant.
74
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,088
What say you in your defense?
75
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,917
- I would like to present
into evidence --
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00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,398
- You are hereby sentenced
to community service
77
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,921
mentoring teen runaways.
78
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,880
If you can scare them straight,
I'll waive your charges.
79
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,447
If not, it's hard labor
80
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,536
spell checking Dear Leader's
social media. Next!
81
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,668
- But, your Hono-gram,
I'm no good with children.
82
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:13,062
Plus I-I already am
a stay-at-home mom.
83
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,543
My -- My daughter Annie
is the teen who needs me.
84
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,632
- Does your daughter have
any exceptional needs?
85
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,765
- She's exceptionally needy!
Or neglected?
86
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,550
Uh, I forget which is which
is which is which.
87
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,595
- Step forward.
Due to budget cuts,
88
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,162
we've replaced parole officers
89
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,946
with uptight,
underage tattletales.
90
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,601
It's a pilot program
we're calling "Lil' PO."
91
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,038
You a snitch?
- My gym teacher who steals cigarettes
92
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,476
from the sophomore she's having
sex with says I am.
93
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,434
- Sold. You are hereby deputized
94
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,654
by the franchise-territory
of Florida.
95
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:42,265
I'm releasing your mother
into your recognizance.
96
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,962
[ Gavel bangs ]
- Oh.
97
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:48,924
[ Both sobbing ]
98
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:51,970
- Mr. and Mrs. Cuddlefish,
feel free to take
99
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,235
as long as you need
with your final good-byes.
100
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,585
I see here you've ordered
Loki's cremains
101
00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,456
put inside the screen
of an iPad?
102
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:03,330
- So we can keep playing
"Worried Geese" together.
103
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,462
I won't let the quacks stop!
104
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,421
- I don't know
how we'll get through
105
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,336
this first night without him.
106
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,512
It was always the three of us!
107
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,035
- [ Sobbing ]
108
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:16,560
- Pete, have Lester and I
told you how much
109
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,432
you remind us of Loki?
110
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,956
- You're practically his twin!
111
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,525
- If there is anything I can do,
112
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,875
you know our motto here
at Tender Endings.
113
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,225
♪ Have Your Grief Your Way
114
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:33,011
- Hmm. Could you possibly come
to our house tonight?
115
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,491
- Of course.
116
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,319
I believe your
Super Deluxe Package
117
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:40,410
actually includes one in-home
grief counseling session.
118
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:44,588
- The file said the runaways
are a three-person gang
119
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,416
called the Killmore Girls.
120
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,635
Good luck scaring them.
121
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:50,594
They have a lot
of unresolved feelings.
122
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:53,205
- You know, I also saw on TV
that moms should
123
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,382
encourage their daughters
to confront their fears.
124
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,557
It builds resilience.
125
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,733
I'm gonna let you
handle the mentoring.
126
00:04:58,776 --> 00:04:59,690
- What?!
127
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,344
- Ugh, this is so boring.
- Oh.
128
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,565
- [ Clears throat ]
- Um, hello, goth peers.
129
00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:07,785
I'm Annie, a registered Lil' PO.
130
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:11,354
How about we go around and state
your name and why you're here?
131
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,530
- I'm Infinitee, and I've killed.
132
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,837
- I'm Eternitee, and I've killed.
133
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,361
- I'm Monotonie, and I buried
the dead bodies.
134
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,363
I'm a helper.
Is that a dead body?
135
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,322
- She's undead, not dead.
136
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,062
- Is this grammar?
I hate grammar.
137
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:26,369
- We're actually gonna
begin the day with goals.
138
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,110
What's a dream job
for each of you?
139
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:32,332
I'll start -- I want to raise
peacocks as pets, not meat.
140
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,203
- Hey, guys,
let's get out of here.
141
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:37,337
This place has, like,
real second-chance energy.
142
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,861
- Let's go stare at that lake
that's on fire.
143
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:43,038
- Come back! Next, we get
to use pipe cleaners
144
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,693
to express our insecurities!
145
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,042
- I got this, hon.
146
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:49,697
Yeah, that Annie girl
is super lame.
147
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,222
Follow me. I know where we can
get some, like, food for free.
148
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:56,312
- I'll bring the pipe cleaners
just in case there's a wait
149
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,922
for a table of five.
150
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:04,407
- It's going to take a long time
to process the loss of Loki,
151
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,235
but that's why I'm here.
152
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,410
- We were hoping
you would feel that way.
153
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,543
- I find it best to not let go.
154
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,458
Just keep holdin' on forever.
155
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,286
Sorrow can last a lifetime,
if you do it right.
156
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:18,116
- If you like those pictures,
you'll love the ones upstairs.
157
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,336
♪♪
158
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,643
- [ Belches, gags ]
- Wow!
159
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,209
- Once your organs disintegrate,
160
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:27,082
there's a lot more room
for hot dogs in there.
161
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,953
- It's kind of hot,
in a gross way.
162
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,652
- You really did used to be
like us -- but better.
163
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,437
- You make me nostalgic
for my wild teen years.
164
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,005
Maybe my resurrection
is also a second chance
165
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,528
to have adolescent fun?
166
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,183
Because first time,
I squandered my life.
167
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:45,187
Got caught up
in nihilism and despair.
168
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,231
- Nice mentoring.
169
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,929
Connecting with
their despondence
170
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,539
by talking about your suicide.
171
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:53,369
Really brave.
- No, I mean my teen pregnancy.
172
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,806
Girls, no matter
how bad you screw up,
173
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:59,331
there's no mistake you can't
"talk" your way out of --
174
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,769
unless you keep the baby.
175
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:05,076
- I'd only want one
if it could be like that doll from "Child's Play."
176
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,688
- Trophy? Quick word in private?
177
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,080
- No secrets, Annie.
178
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,473
Don't be rude to the gang.
179
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,606
- How am I the worst mistake
of your life?
180
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,869
You left town three days
after you gave birth!
181
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,088
And you once joined
a CrossFit gym
182
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,481
that harvested your kidney!
183
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,265
- Why you gotta be such
a buzzkill to your sister?
184
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,746
- She's my mother!
- If she never mothered you,
185
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,400
seems more like
she's your sister to me.
186
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,533
- Sorry, I need to
close out your tab.
187
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,230
You've ordered the maximum
number of hot dogs
188
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,493
we're legally allowed
to serve to a group of women.
189
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,322
You're welcome back later
with a male chaperone.
190
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,977
- [ Whispers ] We're not paying.
Watch this.
191
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,284
[ Growling voice ]
Death powers.
192
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:43,854
♪♪
193
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,682
- Did those beetles
come out of her --
194
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,945
- It's better not to
think about it. - But I want to.
195
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,513
I may have just figured out
my dream job.
196
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:51,645
- Hey!
197
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:56,824
♪♪
198
00:07:56,867 --> 00:08:00,915
- That's my favorite portrait
of the three of us.
199
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,786
- You slept together?
200
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,353
- Absolutely.
201
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,790
- We know it's not
traditional, but --
202
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,139
- Say no more.
203
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:11,534
Parenting, like grief,
takes many forms.
204
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,970
- Loki wasn't our son.
205
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,015
He was our lover.
206
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,147
The three of us were a triad.
207
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,714
Have you ever heard
of polyamory?
208
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,847
- Oh, it's time
to renew our vows.
209
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:22,545
- Once the divorce rate
topped 90%, Florida decided
210
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,548
to make marriages auto-expire
every 24 hours.
211
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,810
- You just use the app.
212
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,769
- We were married
for almost a decade.
213
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,640
But now, without
a third person...
214
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,860
it's like the vows
have lost all meaning.
215
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,776
- Like the Pledge of Allegiance,
or an MFA.
216
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,604
- [ Over speakers ] Please
complete vows in 30 seconds
217
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,083
to remain lawfully wed.
218
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,608
30, 29...
- Won't you join us, Pete?
219
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:45,568
- Till death or 24 hours
from now do us part.
220
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:49,616
- I think it would really
help us with our mourning.
221
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,706
- One really shouldn't
make hasty decisions
222
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,229
after the death of a loved one,
223
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:56,623
but rebound weddings
are included
224
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,538
in the Super Deluxe Package.
225
00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,800
My idea.
226
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,802
- Throw! Throw! Throw!
227
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,586
- Oh!
- Here it goes!
228
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,414
Huegh!
229
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,850
- Take that society!
[ Car horn honks ]
230
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,505
- Okay, G-8-T-R-6-9-R.
- Whee!
231
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,812
- Why are you writing down
license plate numbers? - Hah! Take that!
232
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,683
- So we can send apology notes.
- Yeah! [ Laughing ]
233
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:16,251
- Or hand-deliver.
I don't think we can afford this many stamps.
234
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,601
- Ear popper?
Helps with anxiety.
235
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,211
- You suffer from anxiety?
236
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,301
- Yeah, fear of getting last
place in wet T-shirt contests.
237
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,695
You know, it happens
to good people every day.
238
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,610
- Wet T-shirt contest!
239
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:28,959
[ All cheering, laughing ]
240
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,875
- Trophy, as your Lil' PO,
I demand you --
241
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,704
- Somebody's gotta be last place!
- Auuugh!
242
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,619
- Ugh! Seriously?!
[ Sirens wailing ]
243
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,621
If I weren't wearing
a rubber undershirt,
244
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,144
I'd be soaked to the bone.
245
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,233
If you'd rather pretend
to be a teenager
246
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:45,454
with these screw-ups than spend
time with me, fine! [ Laughter ]
247
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:48,631
Enjoy being a slave
in a social media sweatshop.
248
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,938
- Trophy! Let's put some T-shirts
on some roadkill
249
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,635
and get them wet!
[ Car horns honking ]
250
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,768
[ Sirens wailing ]
[ Shouting ]
251
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,642
- Who even does
wet T-shirt contests anymore?
252
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,079
That's, like, so male-gaze.
253
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:06,301
Exposing your breasts is not
a successful life strategy.
254
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,520
You're okay, Annie.
255
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:11,001
Fear of abandonment
is character building.
256
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:14,483
Unlike my fear of zippers,
which I just need to work on.
257
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:15,876
[ Tires squeal ]
258
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,487
- Get in quick before
the police find us.
259
00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,537
♪♪
260
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,235
- Girls, I'm Mrs. Clomid.
[ Laughter ]
261
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,498
I run a place that helps
young women like you --
262
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,805
in need of support or escape.
263
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,937
Good thing I keep
my police scanner on
264
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:36,679
as I drive around town
picking up teen girls
265
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,376
thrown away by their families.
266
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,813
- Oh, I'm not a runaway.
267
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:42,729
I'm related to Trophy --
through birth.
268
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:45,209
She's easily distracted, but...
- Again. Again.
269
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,907
- ...deep down, she loves me.
270
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,038
Pretty sure.
271
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:51,520
- Now you're officially
a Killmore Girl.
272
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,347
- Yes!
273
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,525
- Feel free to enjoy
the amenities, girls. [ Shouting, cheering ]
274
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,614
Whirlpool, free pedicures...
275
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,529
- Here it goes!
- ...chicken pox vaccines.
276
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,487
Come on!
- Oh! [ Laughs ]
277
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,663
- Whoo!
- What fun!
278
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,795
- Is there somewhere I
can sit quietly
279
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,710
until they tire themselves out?
280
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,277
- I want to show you
the amenities
281
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,235
I think you'll appreciate.
282
00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,628
This way.
283
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,282
[ Playing soft, mellow tune ]
284
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,414
I could tell from
the first moment I saw you
285
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,068
that you're special.
286
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,723
I think you'll feel
right at home here.
287
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,464
Here's where we all
sit down together
288
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:26,381
for a home-cooked dinner
each night -- family style.
289
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,428
- What is..."family style"?
290
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,214
- My uterus is curious.
291
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,042
My choice... [ Chuckles ]
292
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,217
...Rolls Royce.
293
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,699
Old man's baby?
Yes, they'll pay me.
294
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,919
- First time here?
Are you pre or post?
295
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:44,878
- Oh, um, I --
I'm just getting the tour.
296
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,228
- I'm gonna use the money
to pay for Stanford.
297
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,403
Then, I'll launch my app.
298
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,840
It's like Tinder
but for plane tickets.
299
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,537
- Ooh.
- Let's go to my office
300
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:55,671
and talk about
your growth potential.
301
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,413
♪♪
302
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,023
- Mm.
- There!
303
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:03,200
- You complete us, Pete.
Shall we toast?
304
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,636
[ Man wailing ]
305
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,292
- Oh! I should take this.
306
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,207
I'll be right back.
307
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,774
- Petey, where are you?
308
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,080
We work now.
309
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,429
- I'm with the Cuddlefishes.
310
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:17,301
They've asked me to share
their lives with them,
311
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,956
and I think I'm...happy?
312
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,263
- Yeah, remember
last time you happy.
313
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,786
You saw a sunset,
314
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,396
and we nearly
went out of business!
315
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,529
- Oh, yeah --
the time I realized
316
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:30,706
that the world was so big
and so beautiful.
317
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,316
I wish people didn't get
so weirded out
318
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,188
when you grin
while burying their family.
319
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:37,321
- Ah-hah. Petey, remember mother?
320
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,062
What does she know?
321
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,411
- She know best.
322
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,370
- And what does mother want?
323
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,198
- For Pete to stop being happy
324
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,200
and start being
a sad undertaker?
325
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,505
- Good boy.
326
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:50,813
- [ Sighs ] God, she's brilliant!
327
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:53,076
♪♪
328
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,470
- What it do?
The Duplass Brothers,
329
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,602
Morgan Freeman, Scrooge McDuck,
330
00:12:57,646 --> 00:13:00,127
That Guy Who Drops the Chili
on NBC's "The Office" --
331
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,172
what do they all have in common?
332
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,347
They all want to have kids,
333
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,349
but their sperms
are too damn old!
334
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,309
Holla! It would be illegal
and disgusting for them
335
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,919
to actually have sex with you,
336
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,835
but your teenaged eggs
are the best money can buy!
337
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,620
F-F-F-Feoow! So, what's up?
Here's the tea!
338
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,927
At birth, you simply twerk away
your parental rights.
339
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,842
You'll get the future
you deserve had your parents
340
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,062
loved you more or been
rich enough to buy your succe--
341
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,760
- You get the drift.
May I speak candidly?
342
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,632
You remind me of myself
when I was your age.
343
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:30,505
- Your mom abandoned you,
killed herself, got reanimated,
344
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,420
and rather than use
her second chance at life
345
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:35,075
to be the kind of mother
you deserve, she used it
346
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,946
to refine her skin regimen?
347
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,905
- [ Chuckles ] No.
348
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,385
But Mom did come late
to one of my swim meets.
349
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:46,869
Now I think of every girl here
as one of my very own daughters.
350
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,480
Care for some hot cocoa?
351
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,092
- So, you live in luxury,
352
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,397
get a wad of cash
after the birth,
353
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,052
and don't have to raise
the -- ugh -- baby?
354
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,793
Sign me up!
- Yeah, me too!
355
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,664
- Ladies.
356
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,885
- Girls, you're forgetting
everything I've taught you.
357
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,148
Pregnancy means
the party's over!
358
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,542
- It's 40,000 Flori-dollars
a pop, Grandma.
359
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,370
- They're low-balling you.
[ Device warbles ]
360
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,937
- I'm sorry.
None of you qualify.
361
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,113
I'll need to ask you to leave.
- Huh? Why?
362
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,855
- Well, Eternitee,
you're already pregnant.
363
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:16,986
- Can't I get double-pregnant?
364
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,901
- No.
- I'll show you!
365
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,598
- Infinitee, your drug screening
366
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:22,165
shows you've been
doing ear whippets
367
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:25,342
as recently as, eh, today.
368
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,388
- I have anxiety!
369
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,781
- And Monotonie -- sadly,
you're disqualified
370
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:32,088
because Senator Casey Anthony
intervened.
371
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,308
- God! My mom never stops
ruining my life.
372
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,310
I hate her!
- God, I know what you mean.
373
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,399
Hey, where's Annie? [ Gasps ]
374
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,227
♪♪
375
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,752
How did my story about having
her not scare her straight?
376
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,928
Plus, she'll never
give up the baby!
377
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,712
She can't even throw away
chicken bones.
378
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,802
She and my brother make
these googley-eyed sculptures.
379
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,413
They're -- They're
really chilling.
380
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,631
- So, we ditch her.
381
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,982
Let's go on a Killmore Girls
crime spree!
382
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,071
- We should rob a Chick-fil-A.
383
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:01,683
They're, like, problematic.
- You don't understand.
384
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,598
We have to go help Annie!
385
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:06,557
You want me to rescue her
all by myself?!
386
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:07,994
What am I, he-- her mother?!
387
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,952
- There's, like, a resemblance.
388
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,388
- Rrrrgh.
- Bye-bye.
389
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:15,827
- Even when I am wearing
this tiny hat?!
390
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:19,744
Rrrgh!
- Oh, no. Telekinesis?
391
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,965
You're not scary.
- Oh, wow. That's impressive.
392
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,446
Like, dead, undead.
393
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:26,795
Make up your mind already.
394
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,232
- Okay. You wanna be scared?
395
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:32,714
I'll show you your own
pathetic deaths
396
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,150
if you don't change your ways.
397
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,979
Monotonie, if you don't
turn your life around,
398
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,981
you're gonna die hitchhiking
399
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,678
when a trucker accidentally
runs you over
400
00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:43,986
as he's pulling off the road
with plans to murder you.
401
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,640
- Hmm. Complicated much?
402
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,685
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Hard to follow?
403
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,166
Infinitee, you're gonna drown
404
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,952
during this weekend's
wet T-shirt contest!
405
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,605
- What place am I in
when I drown?
406
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:57,043
- 7th.
- Out of how many?
407
00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,785
- Seven! And Eternitee,
for you, it's death
408
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,440
by wasabi Brazil nut!
409
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,789
[ Gasps ]
410
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,009
[ Panting ]
- That's it.
411
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,402
You're out of the gang.
412
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,492
- I've never even been
to Wasabi, Brazil.
413
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,320
This is so boring.
- Fine!
414
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:17,106
I'll rescue Annie
from a life-destroying decision without you!
415
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:20,240
Oh, but a quick spray-tan
first wouldn't hurt.
416
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,720
♪♪
417
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,418
- Everything okay?
418
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,854
- Hey, where are my clothes?
419
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,770
- [ Laughs ] Oh, that
Soviet-era janitor jumpsuit
420
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,773
with a decaying sandwich inside?
421
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,514
[ Laughs ] I tossed it.
422
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,037
- Augh! Oh!
423
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,387
- We'll get you
a whole new wardrobe.
424
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,823
We loved spoiling Loki.
425
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,304
But, since he tragically died
in a VR grease fire,
426
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,827
we're here to spoil you.
427
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,220
- Decaying things aren't just
428
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,222
my life's purpose --
they're my passion!
429
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:50,183
Baba's right -- you and I
have different priorities.
430
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,358
- But -- But our --
431
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,534
our only priority
is your happiness, Pete!
432
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,753
- I'm afraid that's not
going to work for me.
433
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,451
Goodbye, Cuddlefishes.
434
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,018
This was cute.
435
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,368
♪♪
436
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,065
- So, um, how does this work?
437
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,893
Are there stirrups, or --
438
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,634
- You just swallow this pill.
439
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,505
You're instantly impregnated
440
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,073
with the sperm
of anonymous donor
441
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,119
Sir Rod Stewart.
442
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,078
You'll make
a great vessel, Annie.
443
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,255
- Wow. I've never felt
this cared for.
444
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,736
- Take the pill,
and you can feel that way
445
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,651
for nine more months.
446
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,392
- Annie, don't do it!
447
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:28,047
Teen pregnancy isn't all
baby footprint tattoos,
448
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,918
reality shows,
and murder trials.
449
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,399
It has a human cost.
- Leave me alone!
450
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,618
Mrs. Clomid knows
what's best for me.
451
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,447
She made me hot cocoa --
with sprinkles!
452
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:38,927
- Damn, she's good.
453
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,494
I should have been
the beverage equivalent
454
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,104
of the world's best hot cocoa.
455
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:45,020
but life filled your "Mom" mug
with an undead can
456
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,108
of flat Malt liquor.
457
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,371
I want to do better.
458
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:51,418
♪♪
459
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,724
- Annie's in our care now.
460
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:57,772
Inseminees aren't allowed
to leave the premises.
461
00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:01,906
Trophy, please say
your goodbyes.
462
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,560
- I'm not leaving you
to be raised
463
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:06,346
by a well-meaning
old woman again!
464
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,825
- Why? You seem to prefer
465
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,959
vapid-hot dog-criminal time
to mother-daughter time.
466
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,135
- You're right.
I don't deserve a smart,
467
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,528
responsible daughter like you.
468
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,661
But this is my second chance --
and yours, too.
469
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:20,099
You should have some
carefree fun for a change,
470
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:23,276
and I should embrace tedium
and misery like a real adult.
471
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:26,714
Don't get pregnant till you're
actually ready to be a parent,
472
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,847
because you'll be a great one.
473
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:30,892
Death powers.
474
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,241
- I think I've made
a big mistake.
475
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,200
- [ Laughs ] "Big Mistake"
is my middle name.
476
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,071
Legally. Thanks, Baba.
477
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,159
- I wanna get out of here.
478
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,682
- You got it.
479
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:42,208
Let's run away
together this time.
480
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:45,167
- Oh, you smell like gasoline
and popcorn.
481
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,038
- It's the spray tan.
482
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:50,999
♪♪
483
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,479
Hey, fertile freaks!
484
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,655
Help us sneak out of here,
I'll show you my knockers!
485
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,787
- I've got this.
Girls, I'm desperate.
486
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,225
I have an interview with Harvard
in half an hour,
487
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,443
and they won't let me leave.
488
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,141
If I miss it,
I'll have to go to Vassar.
489
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,099
- Oh, my God, say no more.
490
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:08,147
Sarah, Operation Safety School!
491
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,801
♪♪
492
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,890
- I just finished
my Lil' PO self-assessment,
493
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,849
and I think I have to
turn us both in.
494
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,634
- You are a little snitch.
- The rules were clear.
495
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:20,159
You had to help the runaways,
and I had to supervise.
496
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,377
[ Sirens wailing ]
We both failed.
497
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,336
Together.
[ Crash! ]
498
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,512
- What are you doing here?
499
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,470
- Right after we left
the preggo dork mansion,
500
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:31,387
Eternitee was killed
by a wasabi Brazil nut,
501
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,128
just like you predicted.
502
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,217
- Oh, my gosh.
She was allergic?
503
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,827
- No, I threw it off
the overpass
504
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,046
and hit her in the skull.
505
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,439
It was hilarious.
- [ Laughs ]
506
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,180
- But it made us realize
you were right, Trophy.
507
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,051
- We went to the judge
to confess our crimes
508
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:46,315
and he said, "Due to budget
cuts, wanna be sexy cops?"
509
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,231
Now we're SXPD. Duh.
510
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,625
- That means I did
scare you straight.
511
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:55,933
Well, except for Eternitee.
- Yep, you're officially free.
512
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,196
- Then, why are you here?
513
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,459
- We have an arrest warrant
for you, Annie.
514
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,809
Says you're harboring
a stolen fetus.
515
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,463
- You leave Annie alone,
516
00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,682
or I'll send out the beetles
to cover your feet
517
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,989
so it looks like
you're wearing sensible shoes.
518
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,469
- A slip-on clog mule?!
519
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:12,385
Guh, we'll be kicked off
the SXPD force!
520
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:14,213
- I guess we could
tell them Annie died.
521
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,389
- From a wasabi Brazil nut!
522
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,478
Those deaths tend
to happen in pairs.
523
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,088
Bye-bye.
524
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,176
- Get shower, Pete.
525
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,873
Now you need to marry Trophy.
526
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,049
- I'm still married
to the Cuddlefishes.
527
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,138
For at least a few more hours.
528
00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:30,316
- Married?
You sell a Super Deluxe?
529
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,101
- Let's just put that funeral
behind us, shall we?
530
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,407
Anyone feeling hungry?
531
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:37,148
We could cook a family-style.
- Maybe tomorrow.
532
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:39,150
Tonight, we deserve
a special treat!
533
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,848
- I already had my special treat.
534
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:45,722
It was learning
I don't deserve happiness.
535
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,202
- Ummm, Baba.
536
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,769
I have to tell you something.
537
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,641
Long story, but I'm pregnant.
- [ Slurping ]
538
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:56,080
- Don't worry, I "bought" you
a morning-after hot dog.
539
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,648
- You did?
- I think I'm really getting the hang
540
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,390
of this mother/daughter thing.
541
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,349
- Sorry, little
Sir Roderick Stewart.
542
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:06,874
- And if no work,
I have secret family recipe.
543
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,789
Only fail me one time.
544
00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:14,142
Biggest mistake of my life.
545
00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:18,189
- ♪ This is the morning after
546
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:21,845
♪ The house is such a disaster
547
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:24,021
♪ But there's someone
548
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:26,067
♪ Outside
549
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:28,896
♪ That caught my eye
550
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:30,898
♪ It's the dead girl
in the pool ♪
551
00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:32,682
♪ It's the dead girl in
the pool ♪
552
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:34,771
♪ It's the dead girl
in the pool ♪
553
00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:36,730
♪ I don't know what do
554
00:21:36,780 --> 00:21:41,330
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