Original subtitles

♪ Dat-dat-dat-dee-doo, eh, eh ♪

♪ Dat-dat-dee-dee-doo Hello.

Ah!Chili cushion!

Hey, what the --[ Laughter ]

You thought everything was normal, but it wasn't.

That's a good prank, yo!Come on!

This is a workplace, not a -- a jokeplace.

Oh, lighten up, Goodman.

Here, clean it up with these clean wipes.

Oh, all right. Thanks, I --

Oh! Super Glue?[ Laughing ]

Well, I happen to know where some Super Glue remover is.

Right over here in this -- boar!

[ Laughing ]

No!

Yo, how'd you get that boar in that drawer, Sheriff?

I don't know how that thing got in there.

No, get him off me!

♪ Run around town

♪ Stealin' and killin' is how I get down ♪

What?

♪ Well, you better be aware of somethin' ♪

♪ 'Cause Momma named me Sheriff ♪

♪ Yeah, Momma, they got it ♪

♪ Momma, and don't forget it ♪

♪ Oh, no, I better go

♪ M-O-M-M-A named me

♪ Momma named me Sheriff

♪ My momma named me Sheriff

[ Laughing ]

I hope you're happy.

Those brown pants had been in my family for generations.

It was a prank, Goodman.

Stop being such a tight-ass.

♪ Goodman's a tight-ass, ti-ti-ti-ti-tight-ass! ♪

Sometimes it's good to be a tight-ass.

A tight-ass keeps society in order.

That's why I'm giving you a ticket...

-What?! -...for destruction of property.

Oh, damn!

A deputy can't ticket a sheriff.

Oh, yeah? Well, there's no law that says

you can't ticket a sheriff.

I know because I've memorized the Old Town Charter.

Old Town ch-what?Ugh. The charter.

Written by our founder, Abraham Oldtown.

Abraham who noun?

Abraham Oldtown.

Oh, Abraham Old Guy. Yeah, I know about him.

Seeeee?

Nothing in here that says I can't ticket a sheriff.

Whatever, tight-ass.

Hey, the reason Goodman's big-thumbed hero here

is giving a thumbs up is 'cause he was always roostering people.

Roostering?That's what you call it

when you sneak your thumb up someone's butt.

Oh, that's just an old wives' tale.

Why's it called "roostering"?

Ah-ooh-oooh!

Sheriff, enough!Whoa, whoa! Oh!

Hey, you broke his thumb off.

What is this?

Looks like some writing stuff.

Shush, shush, shush. "Well done, truth seeker.

Corrupt forces of modernization have adopted a false charter."

We get it, Goodman. You can read.Ha-ha-ha, yeah!

"Thusly, I have hidden the original

for worthy future citizens.

To find it, search for my secret

at the place where it all began."

That means Sheriff might not have to pay that ticket, yo!

Yeah! 'Cause the real one

probably says a sheriff can't get a ticket.

Now, that's just ridiculous.

Ow-ooh-ooh!

Yo, it even works on yourself.

[ Crowing ]All right.

Where it all began -- Abraham's Fried Roosters.

The first building in Old Town.

Now start looking for clues. Mm.

Shut up, stupid. That's my rooster!

-Whoa! -Scuse me, fellas.

-Hey! -Just looking for clues.

Yo, I found something!

-What? A clue? -Check it out.

I don't know why, but I feel strangely connected

to that shirt.

-Look at this! Huh?!

If you finish the Rooster Bucket in an hour,

you win the shirt.Yeaaah!

Ah, children!

But what's rooster taste like, yo?

It's super yummy.

Like their slogan says, "The secret's in the grease!"

The secret's in the grease!

Hey you can't go back there -- ah, whatever.

Okay, there's gotta be some kind of clue in this grease.

[ Grunts ] Huh?

The grease is draining through this seal!

Ha-ha, wedgie!

[ Both scream and grunt ]

Uh-oh. What have we gotten ourselves into? Oh!

Ugh. What have I got myself into?

This place is giving me the creeps.

Oh, stop being such a baby.

I'm not a baby.

Oh, yeah, well, why are you sucking that thumb?

-Wet Willy! -Ow!

Cut it out! Huh?

Ah! [ Gasps ] Oh, no, we're trapped!

Ah, wait! Look at this.

What, those two rocks that look like a butt?

No, the pipes! This must be a puzzle!

Abraham's favorite tune was "Daddy Ate a Rooster."

♪ Daddy ate a rooster, rooster, rooster ♪

[ Plays horn ]

Ahhh!

Rancid ketchup and mustard?

Ugh! Smells yuck-key!

Key! That's it! I was in the wrong key.

[ Plays horn ]

It's working! Look!

Oh, oh! Oh, no. We're gonna dieee!

I'm gonna dieee...

if you don't give me that shirt, yo!

Sorry, but you shoulda read all the rules.

You gotta finish everything.

Even the bones, yo?!

Ev-er-y-thing-ga.

Damn, yo. Ugh.

Play it right! Play the song!

[ Plays horn ] Ah!

Oh, we're gonna die.

Then we should die doing what I love doing best --

roostering this butt! [ Laughs ]

Sheriff, you moronic -- what?

Wha? It stopped!

-[ Laughs ] -Oh!

Goodman: The charter! Oh-ho-ho!

Now I can give you that ticket.

Let's see, uh -- ah-ha-ha!

Ahh! Oh!

Something's happening!

Ah! I'm alive!

-Abraham Oldtown! -Abraham Old...Guy?

I was preserved for 250 years by the unhealthy properties

of rooster grease!

Wow! Your thumb really is big.

His honker's big, too. [ Laughs ]

Please tell me everything about this charter.

In my time, some people wanted to change my rules,

so I had to safeguard the charter.

But now I'm back,

and I can put my original rules in place again!

And show Sheriff that no one's above the law, mm?

That's literally rule number one.

-Uh-huh. -No one is above the law.

Aww! [ Laughs ]

Unless that person was doing a prank.

-What? No! -Yes! In your face!

"If one man should trip a second man's mule,

he shall be entitled to take the second man's house"?!

All these rules, they're -- they're crazy!

-Yep. They're prank rules. -No!

That's why I safeguarded them --

to be found by someone who appreciates pranks.

-I'm someone! -No, you can't do that.

It'd be total chaos.

Oh, don't be such a tight-ass.Ahh-ooh-ooh!

-[ Laughs ] -Oh, guys, come on.

Ahh! Oh!

No, you can't put that charter into effect.

Whoa! No-o-o-o!

He thought his butthole would be safe, but it wasn't.

That's a good prank, yo.

Oh, oh, hurts, yo! Ugh...

-Ah! -Ah!

Dispatch! I need your help, hurry!

Ugh, I can't!

I just finished 25 pounds of rooster

and a solid-steel bucket in under an hour.

Actually, you were three seconds over.

But you can try again if you want.

Oh, damn!

But we have to save the town!

Oh, no. It's too late.

We ate your boogers. Now we get to shoot you!

-Ah! Ah! Ah! -Ooh!

One, two, three clams in your pants.What?

Now I can legally marry your wife. Huh? No!

[ Kids laughing ]

-We kicked you first. -Ow!

Now you gotta let us nurse!

Well, these are the new rules.

I cracked an egg on my stomach.

Now you have to lick it off.

These rules are out of control!

Rules?

Settle down, everybody!

I know we're all excited to have our founder,

Abraham Old Guy, back to put all of his rules into effect.

Gimme that![ Both grunting ]

Looks like tight-ass here was trying to destroy the charter!

[ Crowd shouting ]

What? No! Everyone wait!

I know these joke rules seem fun and silly,

but we have to go back to the normal laws.

They helped us maintain order.

And when you sacrifice that for a couple of laughs,

all you're left with

is a society that values hurting people.

Wow. That really made me realize

that rule 397 states,

"If a man dressed as a rooster gives a really boring speech,

he shall be fried and eaten by the whole town!"

We're gonna be eating good tonight, boy!

I want his tight ass!

Uh, uh... Oh, Beverly!

Stanley, is this really goodbye?

I -- I want you to be happy.

Eventually, you will find someone new.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Clam rule, baby.Oh.

And Tommy, you've become

quite the upstanding --Shut up, rooster.

Come on Mrs. Pickles, let's eat dad!

[ Growls ]

-Ah. -Sheriff!

-Yeah, hey, what's up, Goodman? -Please help me.

I'll see what I can do...

Hey, uh, Abraham Old Guy.

Don't you think maybe killing Goodman's a little much?

-No! -Sorry, Goodman, I tried.

[ Whimpers ]

Now lower him into the grease,

and on Goodman we shall feast!

[ Cheering ]

-No! -Hell no.

I can't eat any more Rooster!

-Ohhhhh! -Wait!

Rule 676 says, "If a citizen disagrees with the charter,

he may change it by besting the founder in a Rooster-Off!"

Oh Rooster-Off! I call a Rooster-Off!

What's a Rooster-Off?[ Bell tolling ]

First man to get roostered and crow loses.

I only gave you the tip before.

This time I'm going all the way in!

Do your best, pretty boy.

Rooster-off! [ Fires gun ]

[ Grunting ]

Hah![ Crowd cheering ]

[ Both grunting ]

-Get him! -Ahhhhh!

Bring me that butt, boy! [ Laughs ]

Ha, ha! Ah!

How are you so slippery?!

The secret's in the grease!

[ Both grunting ]

Rooster's about to crow! Yah!

Goodman, get up!

I am Abraham Oldtown!

I am this town!

You hear that, boy?!

-Stanley! -Ahh!

[ Crowd groans ]

Uh, maybe this was a mistake.

We can put all of this behind us.

Help me up?

Wha?

Ahhh! My thumb!

Oh, no! I can't watch.

My widdle thumb!

Time to finish this tight-ass!

[ Echoing ] Tight-ass!

Stop being such a tight-ass.

♪ Goodman's a tight-ass

-Tight-ass. -I want his tight ass.

-What a tight-ass. -Tight-ass.

Tight-ass!

Crow, damn it!

Why won't you crow?!

Huh?! Because...

I'm a tight-ass.

Ahhh!

[ Crowd gasping ]

[ Laughs ]

No! No! Ah!

[ Crows ]

-Ha-ha! -Geez, Goodman!

Oh, man! My shirt!

Well, you were right.

Sometimes we do need tight-asses to keep society in order.

So I'm gonna pay your ticket.

Great. That'll be $4.

-$4?! -[ Laughs ]

We should've eaten you.

Come on, Dispatch, let's go get some roosters.

-Oh, for real? -Huh?

Wait. There's a clue to another charter.

"If the original original charter's what ye seek,

open the chest and take a peek."

Boar! Ah![ Laughter ]

Yeah! He thought I learned a lesson, but I didn't.

That's a good prank, yo.That's a good prank, yo.

[ Goodman wailing ]

♪ M-O-M-M-A named me

♪ Momma named me Sheriff

♪ Momma named me Sheriff

♪ My mo-mo-mo-momma momma named me Sheriff ♪

♪ Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma named me Sheriff ♪

♪ Momma, she named me Sheriff

-Hi, Will. -Hi, Dave.

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