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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:19,514 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:24,135 --> 00:00:26,177 Dear Evan Hansen... 3 00:00:38,261 --> 00:00:41,428 ...today is going to be an amazing day, 4 00:00:41,553 --> 00:00:43,345 and here's why. 5 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:51,012 {\an1}Because today, all you have to do is just be yourself. 6 00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:55,512 {\an1}But also confident. That's-that's important. 7 00:00:55,637 --> 00:00:57,512 {\an1}And interesting. Easy to talk to. 8 00:00:57,637 --> 00:00:59,304 Approachable. But mostly just be yourself. 9 00:00:59,429 --> 00:01:00,971 You know, that's number one, obviously. Be yourself. 10 00:01:01,096 --> 00:01:02,888 But, like, a confident version of yourself, 11 00:01:03,013 --> 00:01:05,180 like, approachable and interesting 12 00:01:05,305 --> 00:01:06,805 and not weird or anxious or depressed. 13 00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:08,513 {\an1}But you're not weird or anxious or depressed. 14 00:01:08,638 --> 00:01:10,138 I don't even know why you're bringing it up. 15 00:01:10,263 --> 00:01:11,305 {\an1}You can't be scared to talk to other people. 16 00:01:11,430 --> 00:01:12,888 You said that you'd be better. 17 00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:13,847 {\an1}You said this year would be different. 18 00:01:13,972 --> 00:01:15,013 You're overthinking it. 19 00:01:15,138 --> 00:01:16,597 Do you like having no friends? 20 00:01:16,722 --> 00:01:18,139 {\an1}All you have to do is just be yourself. 21 00:01:18,264 --> 00:01:21,014 ♪ I've learned to slam on the brake ♪ 22 00:01:21,139 --> 00:01:24,639 ♪ Before I even turn the key ♪ 23 00:01:24,764 --> 00:01:27,723 ♪ Before I make the mistake ♪ 24 00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:31,098 ♪ Before I lead with the worst of me ♪ 25 00:01:31,223 --> 00:01:34,349 ♪ Give them no reason to stare ♪ 26 00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:37,849 ♪ No slipping up if you slip away ♪ 27 00:01:37,974 --> 00:01:41,182 ♪ So I got nothing to share ♪ 28 00:01:41,307 --> 00:01:44,390 ♪ No, I got nothing to say ♪ 29 00:01:44,515 --> 00:01:46,640 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun ♪ 30 00:01:46,765 --> 00:01:49,433 ♪ If you keep getting burned ♪ 31 00:01:51,308 --> 00:01:55,766 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun because you've learned ♪ 32 00:01:55,891 --> 00:01:59,641 ♪ Because you've learned ♪ 33 00:01:59,766 --> 00:02:02,266 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 34 00:02:02,391 --> 00:02:05,517 {\an1}♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 35 00:02:05,642 --> 00:02:09,142 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 36 00:02:09,267 --> 00:02:11,851 ♪ I'm waving through a window ♪ 37 00:02:11,976 --> 00:02:15,184 {\an1}♪ Oh, I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 38 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:19,476 {\an1}♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 39 00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:22,393 {\an1}♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 40 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:25,102 ♪ I'm waving through a window ♪ 41 00:02:25,227 --> 00:02:26,685 ♪ Oh ♪ 42 00:02:27,685 --> 00:02:29,935 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 43 00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:34,727 ♪ Is anybody waving back at me? ♪ 44 00:02:45,144 --> 00:02:46,769 So you just didn't eat last night? 45 00:02:46,894 --> 00:02:48,603 I wasn't hungry. 46 00:02:48,728 --> 00:02:50,269 You're a senior in high school. 47 00:02:50,394 --> 00:02:51,811 You need to be able to order dinner for yourself. 48 00:02:51,936 --> 00:02:53,144 You can do it all online. 49 00:02:53,270 --> 00:02:54,979 You don't have to talk to anybody. 50 00:02:55,104 --> 00:02:56,812 Okay, well, that's not, that's not true, actually, though, 51 00:02:56,937 --> 00:02:58,520 because, um, the credit card's expired, so you have to meet 52 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,479 {\an1}the delivery person at the door, you know? 53 00:03:00,604 --> 00:03:01,770 {\an1}You have to pay them with cash at the door. 54 00:03:01,895 --> 00:03:03,187 You have to greet them. 55 00:03:03,312 --> 00:03:04,562 {\an1}You know, you have to figure out the right, 56 00:03:04,687 --> 00:03:06,645 the right, um... the-the proper greeting. 57 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:07,812 Okay. 58 00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,063 This is what you're supposed to be working on, sweetheart, 59 00:03:11,188 --> 00:03:12,730 with Dr. Sherman. 60 00:03:12,855 --> 00:03:14,980 Have you been doing those letters he wants you to do? 61 00:03:15,105 --> 00:03:16,521 "Dear Evan Hansen." 62 00:03:16,646 --> 00:03:19,771 {\an1}I mean, I've definitely... I-I've been trying to. 63 00:03:19,896 --> 00:03:20,938 Those letters are important, honey. 64 00:03:21,063 --> 00:03:22,563 You have to keep working. 65 00:03:22,688 --> 00:03:25,189 We can't go back to where you were last year, right? 66 00:03:25,314 --> 00:03:26,981 Um, you have an appointment this afternoon. 67 00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:28,522 I'm working till 6:00, 68 00:03:28,647 --> 00:03:30,939 so you're gonna have to take the bus. 69 00:03:31,064 --> 00:03:32,481 Hey. 70 00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:34,022 I thought you could go around 71 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,564 and ask all the other kids to sign your cast. 72 00:03:36,689 --> 00:03:38,064 Perfect icebreaker, right? 73 00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:42,732 - What happened to your shirt? - There was a stain on it. 74 00:03:42,857 --> 00:03:44,732 - Wha... But it's brand-new. - Yes, I know. 75 00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,898 I was... I'm so mad. 76 00:03:47,023 --> 00:03:49,398 ♪ We start with stars in our eyes ♪ 77 00:03:50,607 --> 00:03:53,690 ♪ We start believing that we belong ♪ 78 00:03:53,815 --> 00:03:56,940 ♪ But every sun doesn't rise ♪ 79 00:03:57,065 --> 00:04:00,358 {\an1}♪ And no one tells you where you went wrong ♪ 80 00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:02,858 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun ♪ 81 00:04:02,983 --> 00:04:05,066 ♪ If you keep getting burned ♪ 82 00:04:07,024 --> 00:04:10,983 ♪ Step out, step out of the sun because you've learned ♪ 83 00:04:11,108 --> 00:04:13,400 ♪ Because you've learned ♪ 84 00:04:13,525 --> 00:04:16,234 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 85 00:04:16,359 --> 00:04:19,025 {\an1}♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 86 00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:23,192 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 87 00:04:23,317 --> 00:04:25,484 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 88 00:04:25,609 --> 00:04:29,318 {\an1}♪ Oh, I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 89 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:32,443 {\an1}♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 90 00:04:32,568 --> 00:04:36,318 {\an1}♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 91 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,610 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 92 00:04:38,735 --> 00:04:40,151 ♪ Oh ♪ 93 00:04:41,151 --> 00:04:43,360 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 94 00:04:43,485 --> 00:04:45,861 ♪ Is anybody waving? ♪ 95 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,236 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 96 00:04:47,361 --> 00:04:49,319 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 97 00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:52,402 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 98 00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:53,944 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 99 00:04:54,069 --> 00:04:55,819 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 100 00:04:55,944 --> 00:04:59,027 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 101 00:04:59,152 --> 00:05:00,652 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 102 00:05:00,777 --> 00:05:02,445 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 103 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,278 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 104 00:05:05,403 --> 00:05:07,320 ♪ When you're falling in a forest ♪ 105 00:05:07,445 --> 00:05:09,112 ♪ And there's nobody around ♪ 106 00:05:09,237 --> 00:05:12,487 ♪ Do you ever really crash or even make a sound? ♪ 107 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:15,487 ♪ Did I even make a sound? Did I even make a sound? ♪ 108 00:05:15,612 --> 00:05:16,945 ♪ It's like I never made a sound ♪ 109 00:05:17,071 --> 00:05:20,113 ♪ Will I ever make a sound? ♪ 110 00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:22,821 ♪ On the outside always looking in ♪ 111 00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:26,071 {\an1}♪ Will I ever be more than I've always been? ♪ 112 00:05:26,196 --> 00:05:29,654 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass ♪ 113 00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:31,738 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 114 00:05:31,863 --> 00:05:35,655 {\an1}♪ Oh, I try to speak, but nobody can hear ♪ 115 00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:39,030 {\an1}♪ So I wait around for an answer to appear ♪ 116 00:05:39,155 --> 00:05:43,030 {\an1}♪ While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass ♪ 117 00:05:43,155 --> 00:05:45,322 ♪ Waving through a window ♪ 118 00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:46,822 ♪ Oh ♪ 119 00:05:47,905 --> 00:05:50,198 ♪ Can anybody see? ♪ 120 00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:55,781 ♪ Is anybody waving back at me? ♪ 121 00:05:55,906 --> 00:05:59,198 ♪ Is anybody waving? ♪ 122 00:05:59,323 --> 00:06:02,615 ♪ Waving, waving ♪ 123 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,948 ♪ Whoa... ♪ 124 00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:10,907 ♪ Whoa. ♪ 125 00:06:11,032 --> 00:06:12,491 {\an1}♪ Let's go, Bobcats, let's go... ♪ 126 00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:15,741 {\an1}Evan. 127 00:06:17,282 --> 00:06:18,407 What? 128 00:06:18,532 --> 00:06:19,866 It's Zoe Murphy 129 00:06:19,991 --> 00:06:22,575 in that hot band shirt you love so much. 130 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,033 Can you just... Can you please stop? 131 00:06:24,158 --> 00:06:25,742 Well, hey, maybe she's into you, too. 132 00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:27,242 Maybe you should talk to her, tell her how you feel. 133 00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:29,075 I've tried talking to her. 134 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,533 Really? 135 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,908 Yes. Yeah, I... 136 00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:34,533 I stayed afterwards, um, last year 137 00:06:34,658 --> 00:06:36,325 after the spring jazz band concert, 138 00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:37,951 but, um, I didn't go up to her 139 00:06:38,076 --> 00:06:39,951 because I was worried that my hands were sweaty. 140 00:06:40,076 --> 00:06:41,534 Which they weren't even, they weren't even that sweaty. 141 00:06:41,659 --> 00:06:43,034 {\an1}I just... I was worried that they were sweaty, 142 00:06:43,159 --> 00:06:44,659 and sometimes worrying that they're sweaty 143 00:06:44,784 --> 00:06:46,326 makes them sweaty, so I just went to the bathroom 144 00:06:46,451 --> 00:06:47,784 and I put 'em under, like, the hand dryer thing, 145 00:06:47,909 --> 00:06:49,368 but then they were still sweaty. 146 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,701 {\an1}They were just, um... They were just also warm. 147 00:06:53,327 --> 00:06:55,119 I was kidding. 148 00:06:55,244 --> 00:06:56,660 You obviously should not talk to her. 149 00:06:56,785 --> 00:06:58,160 You are a literal disaster. 150 00:07:06,119 --> 00:07:08,035 Go, Bobcats! 151 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,495 Go, Bobcats. 152 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:16,578 So awesome. 153 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,328 So awesome, everyone. 154 00:07:18,453 --> 00:07:19,703 Phenomenal, really. 155 00:07:19,828 --> 00:07:22,161 You know what's not phenomenal? 156 00:07:22,286 --> 00:07:23,578 Deforestation. 157 00:07:23,703 --> 00:07:25,871 So, what happened to your arm exactly? 158 00:07:25,996 --> 00:07:28,537 Um, I was climbing a tree, and I fell. 159 00:07:28,662 --> 00:07:30,079 It was stupid. 160 00:07:30,204 --> 00:07:32,162 {\an1}You fell out of a tree? What are you, five? 161 00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,079 Well, um... 162 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,954 So, actually, I-I worked this summer 163 00:07:36,079 --> 00:07:38,871 as an apprentice park ranger at Ellison State Park. 164 00:07:40,955 --> 00:07:43,163 {\an1}It's a funny story, though, because... 165 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,080 there was, like, this solid ten minutes after I fell 166 00:07:45,205 --> 00:07:46,830 where I just lay there on the ground, 167 00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:49,122 {\an1}um, waiting for someone to come get me, you know? 168 00:07:49,247 --> 00:07:50,830 I was like, "Any second now." You know? 169 00:07:50,955 --> 00:07:52,247 {\an1}I just kept... I, like... I was saying to myself, 170 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,913 "Any second now. Here they come." So... 171 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,205 Did they? 172 00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:56,497 No, nobody came. 173 00:07:56,622 --> 00:07:59,289 That's the, um... That's what's funny. 174 00:07:59,414 --> 00:08:00,623 That's not funny. 175 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,123 Model U.N.... 176 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,539 Well, anyways, um, how was... Did you, um... 177 00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:05,998 How was camp? 178 00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:09,706 Well, I put on 13 pounds of pure muscle. 179 00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:12,498 Also, I hooked up with this Brazilian dude 180 00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:15,457 who is literally a supermodel. 181 00:08:16,707 --> 00:08:18,665 So, yeah, hope that answers your question. 182 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:22,832 So let's have Mother Nature's back so that she'll have ours. 183 00:08:30,875 --> 00:08:32,791 Yeah! Yeah! 184 00:08:32,916 --> 00:08:35,166 All right, thank you, Alana. Very inspirational. 185 00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,000 All right, so let's have a great year, 186 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,291 and, uh, go, Bobcats! 187 00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:51,917 Hey, um... 188 00:08:52,042 --> 00:08:53,501 would you want to sign my cast? 189 00:08:53,626 --> 00:08:55,167 Uh, you could, you could be the first. 190 00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:57,084 Why would I do that? 191 00:08:58,084 --> 00:09:01,043 Well, I just... I thought, um, because we're friends and... 192 00:09:01,168 --> 00:09:02,752 We're family friends, Evan. 193 00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:04,127 That's an entirely different thing. 194 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,710 Please respect that. 195 00:09:17,169 --> 00:09:19,003 Connor, I'm loving this manicure. 196 00:09:19,128 --> 00:09:21,503 - Very school shooter chic. - You're such an idiot. 197 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:22,794 That is so not... 198 00:09:24,169 --> 00:09:26,169 {\an1}♪ Here we go, Bobcats, here we go. ♪ 199 00:09:32,962 --> 00:09:35,045 You think that's funny? 200 00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:37,420 What? No. Not-not at all. 201 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,295 Then stop laughing! 202 00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:53,171 {\an1}Hey. 203 00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:58,338 I'm sorry about my brother. 204 00:09:58,463 --> 00:10:00,213 He's a psycho. 205 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,796 Evan, right? 206 00:10:04,797 --> 00:10:05,922 {\an1}Evan? 207 00:10:06,881 --> 00:10:10,047 {\an1}That-That's your, that's your name? 208 00:10:10,172 --> 00:10:11,672 Y-Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry. 209 00:10:11,797 --> 00:10:13,714 It's Evan. It's Evan. I'm sorry. 210 00:10:13,839 --> 00:10:15,631 Why are you sorry? 211 00:10:15,756 --> 00:10:18,381 'Cause you s-s... you said Evan, and then I said it, you know? 212 00:10:18,506 --> 00:10:20,631 I just repeated it, which is, um... 213 00:10:20,756 --> 00:10:23,382 That's just really annoying when people do that, so... 214 00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:26,757 I'm Zoe. 215 00:10:34,423 --> 00:10:37,174 Sorry. I should... I think... Sorry. 216 00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,259 Dear Evan Hansen, 217 00:10:58,384 --> 00:11:01,467 turns out this wasn't an amazing day after all. 218 00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:05,342 This isn't gonna be an amazing week or an amazing year 219 00:11:05,467 --> 00:11:07,717 because why would it be? 220 00:11:12,176 --> 00:11:14,218 Oh, I know. Because there's Zoe. 221 00:11:14,343 --> 00:11:18,510 Who I don't even know and who doesn't know me, but... 222 00:11:20,676 --> 00:11:23,010 Maybe if I did, maybe if I could just talk to her, 223 00:11:23,135 --> 00:11:25,386 maybe things would be better. 224 00:11:27,302 --> 00:11:28,719 Or... 225 00:11:30,094 --> 00:11:32,136 ...maybe nothing would be different at all. 226 00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:36,719 I wish everything was different. 227 00:11:36,844 --> 00:11:38,511 I wish I was different. 228 00:11:38,636 --> 00:11:40,302 I wish I was part of something. 229 00:11:40,427 --> 00:11:44,428 I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. 230 00:11:45,845 --> 00:11:48,720 But it doesn't, and it never did. 231 00:11:50,678 --> 00:11:52,553 And it never will. 232 00:11:54,928 --> 00:12:00,179 I mean, face it, would anyone even notice if I just... 233 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:02,388 disappeared tomorrow? 234 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:06,096 {\an1}Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend, 235 00:12:06,221 --> 00:12:07,763 Me. 236 00:12:15,055 --> 00:12:16,472 {\an1}Hey. 237 00:12:16,597 --> 00:12:18,097 What happened to your arm? 238 00:12:21,347 --> 00:12:22,597 Um... 239 00:12:24,055 --> 00:12:25,764 I was climbing a tree, and I fell. 240 00:12:25,889 --> 00:12:27,889 You fell out of a tree? 241 00:12:30,265 --> 00:12:32,598 That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 242 00:12:34,306 --> 00:12:35,765 I know. 243 00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:46,724 S-Sorry, um, I think I accidentally printed something. 244 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,807 Yeah, we're all waiting. 245 00:12:50,307 --> 00:12:52,182 Um, no one signed your cast. 246 00:12:53,432 --> 00:12:54,724 No, I-I know. 247 00:12:54,849 --> 00:12:56,141 I'll sign it. 248 00:12:57,141 --> 00:12:58,641 Oh, you don't... you really don't have to... 249 00:12:58,766 --> 00:12:59,974 Do you have a Sharpie? 250 00:13:00,099 --> 00:13:02,725 Oh, um, I don't. Shoot. 251 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,517 Oh, here's one. 252 00:13:07,017 --> 00:13:08,433 Nice. 253 00:13:23,059 --> 00:13:25,809 Wow, that's great. 254 00:13:25,934 --> 00:13:28,809 Now we can both pretend we have friends. 255 00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:36,935 Uh, "Dear Evan Hansen." Here you go. 256 00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,644 Y-Yeah, that's mine. That's mine. 257 00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:40,977 - I'll... I can take it, sorry. - "Because there's Zoe..." 258 00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:43,519 Is this about my sister? 259 00:13:43,644 --> 00:13:46,310 What? No, no. Who's-who's your sister? 260 00:13:46,435 --> 00:13:49,228 - You wanted me to find this? - What? 261 00:13:49,353 --> 00:13:52,228 You saw I was here, so you started writing this 262 00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:53,686 - and you started talking to me. - No. 263 00:13:53,811 --> 00:13:54,978 No, you started talking to me. 264 00:13:55,103 --> 00:13:56,395 So that I would read some creepy shit 265 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,395 about my sister and freak out, right? 266 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,061 - Why would I do that? - So then you can tell everyone 267 00:14:00,186 --> 00:14:02,270 that I'm crazy. Right? 268 00:14:02,395 --> 00:14:05,104 - Right?! - Gentlemen! 269 00:14:06,562 --> 00:14:08,271 No, I really... 270 00:14:08,396 --> 00:14:11,021 Look, I really need that back, so can... 271 00:14:11,146 --> 00:14:12,979 {\an1}Look, can you please just give it back? 272 00:14:19,646 --> 00:14:21,480 {\an1}Just-just please don't show it to anyone. 273 00:14:21,605 --> 00:14:22,813 Connor! 274 00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:36,022 Come on. 275 00:14:37,606 --> 00:14:39,814 Shit, shit. 276 00:15:16,858 --> 00:15:18,233 Hi. 277 00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:19,983 {\an1}Hi, honey. I'm so sorry. 278 00:15:20,108 --> 00:15:21,525 Erica called in at the last minute with a stomach bug, 279 00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:23,983 and there's only one other nurse on tonight, 280 00:15:24,108 --> 00:15:26,109 {\an1}so I-I volunteered to take her shift. 281 00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:27,817 {\an1}I hope you weren't waiting for me to eat. 282 00:15:27,942 --> 00:15:30,484 {\an1}- No, I already ate. - Um, it's just they, uh, 283 00:15:30,609 --> 00:15:32,192 they announced more budget cuts this morning, 284 00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:33,526 so anything I can do to show 285 00:15:33,651 --> 00:15:34,776 that I'm a team player, you know? 286 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,817 - How was your day? - Fine. 287 00:15:36,942 --> 00:15:38,401 It was, it was pretty good. 288 00:15:38,526 --> 00:15:40,985 Yeah? You know, I-I texted with Meera this morning, 289 00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:42,735 and she said that Jared was 290 00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,860 really looking forward to seeing you and reconnecting. 291 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,443 I thought that was nice. 292 00:15:46,568 --> 00:15:48,902 Yeah, he's so nice. 293 00:15:49,027 --> 00:15:50,610 - How was Dr. Sherman? - Pretty good. 294 00:15:50,735 --> 00:15:52,485 Any change to your meds? 295 00:15:54,068 --> 00:15:55,610 {\an1}Um, no. 296 00:15:55,735 --> 00:15:57,903 {\an1}Oh, God, here he comes. Um, all right, I-I-I... 297 00:15:58,028 --> 00:15:59,361 All right, love you. Bye. 298 00:15:59,486 --> 00:16:01,736 Okay, I love you... 299 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,236 too. 300 00:16:06,236 --> 00:16:07,944 A letter to yourself. I mean, what is that, 301 00:16:08,069 --> 00:16:09,694 like some kind of sex thing? 302 00:16:09,819 --> 00:16:11,486 No. No, it's not a sex thing. 303 00:16:11,611 --> 00:16:13,154 It's... It was an assignment from my therapist. 304 00:16:13,279 --> 00:16:15,029 Ew. Why-why are you telling me this? 305 00:16:15,154 --> 00:16:16,404 Well, I didn't know who else to tell. 306 00:16:16,529 --> 00:16:18,529 You're my only f... family friend. 307 00:16:18,654 --> 00:16:19,987 Oh, that's sad. 308 00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,779 Look, Connor isn't here again today. 309 00:16:21,904 --> 00:16:23,570 That's-that's three days in a row. 310 00:16:23,695 --> 00:16:25,445 And h-he hasn't done anything with it yet, you know, 311 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:26,737 like put it online or whatever, 312 00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,488 because I've-I've been checking. 313 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:31,030 So, you know, maybe he just... maybe he forgot, right? 314 00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:32,905 Right. Right. 315 00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:34,446 Or maybe he didn't, 316 00:16:34,571 --> 00:16:36,030 {\an1}because he's definitely gonna put it online. 317 00:16:36,155 --> 00:16:38,113 Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit. 318 00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:40,238 Don't you remember when he threw a printer at Mrs. G 319 00:16:40,363 --> 00:16:42,780 in the second grade because he couldn't be line leader? 320 00:16:42,905 --> 00:16:44,447 Like, he was seven. 321 00:16:44,572 --> 00:16:46,656 Just imagine what he's capable of now. 322 00:16:46,781 --> 00:16:48,572 Evan Hansen, please report 323 00:16:48,697 --> 00:16:49,906 to Mr. Howard's office. 324 00:16:50,031 --> 00:16:51,822 Oh, damn. 325 00:16:57,281 --> 00:16:59,239 Evan. 326 00:17:02,657 --> 00:17:06,032 Connor Murphy's mother and stepfather are here to see you. 327 00:17:06,157 --> 00:17:07,782 They want to speak in private. 328 00:17:30,241 --> 00:17:31,949 Hi. 329 00:17:33,825 --> 00:17:34,950 Hello. 330 00:17:36,909 --> 00:17:38,617 Why don't you go ahead, honey. 331 00:17:38,742 --> 00:17:40,534 I'm going as fast as I can. 332 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:43,617 Well, that's not what I said, is it? 333 00:17:46,409 --> 00:17:48,075 This is... 334 00:17:50,076 --> 00:17:53,035 Connor wanted you to have this. 335 00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:08,661 Yeah, we didn't know you were friends. 336 00:18:08,786 --> 00:18:10,202 Oh, well, we didn't think 337 00:18:10,327 --> 00:18:13,077 Connor had any friends, frankly, and... 338 00:18:13,202 --> 00:18:15,869 and then we see this note, and it seems to suggest 339 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:18,327 {\an1}pretty clearly that you and Connor were, uh... 340 00:18:18,452 --> 00:18:21,078 Or at least for Connor... 341 00:18:21,203 --> 00:18:22,953 {\an1}"Dear Evan Hansen." He addressed it to you. 342 00:18:23,078 --> 00:18:25,203 He wrote it to you. 343 00:18:25,328 --> 00:18:27,953 These are the words that he wanted to share with you. 344 00:18:30,953 --> 00:18:33,620 His last words. 345 00:18:35,828 --> 00:18:38,079 Connor took his own life. 346 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,538 He what? 347 00:18:44,538 --> 00:18:46,871 This is all we found with him. 348 00:18:46,996 --> 00:18:50,079 He had it folded up in his pocket. 349 00:18:54,539 --> 00:18:56,830 But this is... 350 00:18:56,955 --> 00:18:58,955 I'm sorry, Connor didn't... He... 351 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,330 He didn't write this. 352 00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:02,705 Connor didn't, Connor didn't write this. 353 00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:05,039 What-what does that mean? 354 00:19:05,164 --> 00:19:06,914 Well, he's obviously in shock. 355 00:19:07,039 --> 00:19:08,873 - I mean, if Connor didn't write this... - I'm so sorry. 356 00:19:08,998 --> 00:19:10,831 Can I just... I should probably go, please. 357 00:19:10,956 --> 00:19:12,373 {\an1}No, you don't understand. This is all that we have. 358 00:19:12,498 --> 00:19:15,290 {\an1}This is the only thing that we have left. 359 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,915 - Cynthia, listen to me. - No. No. Don't-don't go. 360 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,665 {\an1}Okay, then you take it. Please take it, okay? 361 00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:20,706 No. No, don't go. 362 00:19:20,831 --> 00:19:23,206 Don't. Please stay. Please. 363 00:19:28,957 --> 00:19:31,707 His best and most dearest friend. 364 00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:48,000 That's-that's Connor. 365 00:19:48,125 --> 00:19:49,208 Connor Murphy. 366 00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:52,917 Holy shit. 367 00:19:53,042 --> 00:19:54,542 They invited me for dinner. 368 00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:56,293 They want to know more stuff about Connor and me, 369 00:19:56,418 --> 00:19:58,418 about our... friendship. 370 00:19:58,543 --> 00:20:00,376 - A-And you said yes? - I froze. 371 00:20:00,501 --> 00:20:03,084 Well... what are you gonna tell them? 372 00:20:03,209 --> 00:20:04,543 I mean, the truth. 373 00:20:04,668 --> 00:20:06,126 I-I don't know, man. 374 00:20:06,251 --> 00:20:07,751 {\an1}I mean, are you really gonna tell these people 375 00:20:07,876 --> 00:20:09,293 that the only thing they have left of their son 376 00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:11,584 is a sex letter that you wrote to yourself? 377 00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:12,877 {\an1}Hey. 378 00:20:13,002 --> 00:20:15,252 I'm so sorry. 379 00:20:15,377 --> 00:20:17,169 What the hell was that? 380 00:20:17,294 --> 00:20:19,669 I don't know. 381 00:20:19,794 --> 00:20:21,460 Oh, my God, they were so sad, his parents. 382 00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:24,919 I mean, his-his mom was just... 383 00:20:26,335 --> 00:20:28,503 I've never seen anyone so sad before. 384 00:20:36,128 --> 00:20:38,170 I have to tell them. 385 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,379 You're early. 386 00:20:57,379 --> 00:20:59,629 Oh. S-Sorry. 387 00:21:11,672 --> 00:21:13,338 Sit. 388 00:21:18,339 --> 00:21:20,381 I hope you're hungry. 389 00:21:37,007 --> 00:21:38,382 {\an1}So... 390 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,590 ...you and Connor. 391 00:21:41,715 --> 00:21:43,840 You probably spent a lot of time together, I bet. 392 00:21:46,007 --> 00:21:48,466 So, um, not... 393 00:21:48,591 --> 00:21:50,425 not really, actually. 394 00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:53,425 - Uh, the thing is that I... - We looked through his phone. 395 00:21:54,550 --> 00:21:57,425 His texts, emails. 396 00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:58,841 We didn't find anything from you. 397 00:21:58,966 --> 00:22:00,175 Yeah, no, I know. 398 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:01,425 - I know. - He set up different accounts, 399 00:22:01,550 --> 00:22:03,216 ones we couldn't find. 400 00:22:03,341 --> 00:22:04,884 He knew you read his emails. 401 00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:07,217 Well, somebody had to be the bad guy. 402 00:22:07,342 --> 00:22:09,884 Well, if you did have any 403 00:22:10,009 --> 00:22:13,009 {\an1}emails or conversations between the two of you, 404 00:22:13,134 --> 00:22:16,009 we'd love to see anything. 405 00:22:16,134 --> 00:22:18,092 - Well... - Yeah, it's-it's weird. 406 00:22:18,217 --> 00:22:20,218 Th-The only time I saw you two together was 407 00:22:20,343 --> 00:22:22,968 when he was screaming in your face at school last week. 408 00:22:23,093 --> 00:22:24,260 He was screaming at you? 409 00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:25,677 Yeah, yeah, um... 410 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:27,552 Well, that wasn't very nice. 411 00:22:27,677 --> 00:22:30,677 Well, Connor wasn't very nice, so that actually makes sense. 412 00:22:33,427 --> 00:22:35,510 {\an1}I think that everybody at this table can agree 413 00:22:35,635 --> 00:22:37,511 that Connor was, um... 414 00:22:38,886 --> 00:22:41,136 ...a complicated person. 415 00:22:41,261 --> 00:22:43,344 No, he was a bad person. 416 00:22:43,469 --> 00:22:46,303 - Zoe, please. - Don't pretend like you don't agree with me. 417 00:22:46,428 --> 00:22:48,844 You refuse to remember any of the good things. 418 00:22:48,969 --> 00:22:52,179 Because there were no good things. 419 00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,970 What-what were the good things? 420 00:22:55,095 --> 00:22:56,720 {\an1}I'm not having this conversation 421 00:22:56,845 --> 00:22:59,762 - in front of our guest. - No, tell us the good things. 422 00:22:59,887 --> 00:23:01,512 What were the good things? 423 00:23:01,637 --> 00:23:03,387 - Family day at Sunny Glen? - Zoe! 424 00:23:03,512 --> 00:23:04,845 This is not the time. 425 00:23:04,970 --> 00:23:06,345 Who knew rehab could be so much fun? 426 00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:07,804 There were good things. 427 00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:11,513 I'm not the only one. 428 00:23:11,638 --> 00:23:12,888 You remember, right? 429 00:23:16,846 --> 00:23:17,846 Right. 430 00:23:17,971 --> 00:23:19,263 Of course. 431 00:23:19,388 --> 00:23:20,930 Yes, of course there were good things. 432 00:23:21,055 --> 00:23:23,763 Tell us something. 433 00:23:23,888 --> 00:23:25,097 Please, Evan. 434 00:23:29,014 --> 00:23:30,889 Right, um... 435 00:23:31,014 --> 00:23:32,847 S... Uh, Connor and I... 436 00:23:34,389 --> 00:23:36,639 Uh, I d... I don't know, um... 437 00:23:38,681 --> 00:23:40,390 We had a really great... 438 00:23:40,515 --> 00:23:43,432 we had a really great time together, um... 439 00:23:43,557 --> 00:23:45,307 this one day recently. 440 00:23:45,432 --> 00:23:49,348 {\an1}That's something good, um, that I remember. 441 00:23:49,473 --> 00:23:50,848 That day. 442 00:23:50,973 --> 00:23:52,557 Um... 443 00:23:52,682 --> 00:23:54,932 Yeah, that awesome day at the... 444 00:23:55,890 --> 00:23:57,724 ...um, trees. 445 00:23:59,808 --> 00:24:01,891 - Trees? - Never mind, never mind. 446 00:24:02,016 --> 00:24:04,724 I'm sorry, I don't, I don't... I shouldn't have said anything, 447 00:24:04,849 --> 00:24:06,474 and I-I knew it was stupid, so I'm sorry... 448 00:24:06,599 --> 00:24:07,891 You don't mean the orchard, do you? 449 00:24:11,224 --> 00:24:13,559 He took you to the apple orchard? 450 00:24:13,684 --> 00:24:15,642 - When? - Uh, once. 451 00:24:15,767 --> 00:24:17,059 Just-just once. That once. 452 00:24:17,184 --> 00:24:19,684 I thought that place closed years ago. 453 00:24:19,809 --> 00:24:21,725 Well, the hiking trails are still open though, aren't they? 454 00:24:21,850 --> 00:24:24,309 We used to go to the orchard all of the time. 455 00:24:24,434 --> 00:24:26,142 We'd do picnics there. 456 00:24:26,267 --> 00:24:27,934 Do you remember that, Zoe? 457 00:24:28,060 --> 00:24:29,601 Yeah, I do. 458 00:24:29,726 --> 00:24:32,143 And you and Connor would fly that little toy plane 459 00:24:32,268 --> 00:24:34,310 until you crashed it into the creek. 460 00:24:35,935 --> 00:24:37,435 That was an emergency landing. 461 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,393 I can't believe that he took you there. 462 00:24:40,518 --> 00:24:42,393 I bet you had fun. 463 00:24:42,518 --> 00:24:45,436 I bet the two of you... I... 464 00:24:45,561 --> 00:24:47,477 I bet that was fun. 465 00:24:48,477 --> 00:24:50,769 Yeah. 466 00:24:50,894 --> 00:24:52,644 We did. We did. 467 00:24:52,769 --> 00:24:53,644 The whole day. 468 00:24:53,769 --> 00:24:56,644 Uh, it-it was just... 469 00:24:59,352 --> 00:25:01,437 ♪ End of May or early June ♪ 470 00:25:01,562 --> 00:25:06,187 {\an1}♪ This picture-perfect afternoon we share ♪ 471 00:25:07,728 --> 00:25:10,395 What was the name of that ice cream place that we loved? 472 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:11,562 Gifford's? 473 00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:13,895 A La Mode. 474 00:25:14,020 --> 00:25:15,770 That's it. A La Mode. 475 00:25:15,895 --> 00:25:17,979 And they had this homemade hot fudge. 476 00:25:18,104 --> 00:25:21,438 ♪ Drive the winding country road ♪ 477 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:24,021 ♪ Grab a scoop at A La Mode ♪ 478 00:25:24,146 --> 00:25:25,688 ♪ And then we're there ♪ 479 00:25:25,813 --> 00:25:28,604 And we'd sit in that meadow by the pine trees, 480 00:25:28,729 --> 00:25:31,771 and you and your brother would look for four-leaf clovers. 481 00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:34,480 ♪ An open field that's framed with trees ♪ 482 00:25:34,605 --> 00:25:37,564 ♪ We pick a spot and... ♪ 483 00:25:37,689 --> 00:25:40,439 ♪ Shoot the breeze like buddies do ♪ 484 00:25:40,564 --> 00:25:43,647 {\an1}♪ Uh, quoting songs by our favorite bands ♪ 485 00:25:43,772 --> 00:25:46,397 ♪ Telling jokes no one understands ♪ 486 00:25:46,522 --> 00:25:49,065 {\an1}♪ Except us two ♪ 487 00:25:49,190 --> 00:25:53,856 ♪ And we talk and take in the view ♪ 488 00:25:56,231 --> 00:26:00,856 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 489 00:26:00,981 --> 00:26:06,691 {\an1}♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 490 00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:12,399 ♪ Feels like we could go on for forever this way ♪ 491 00:26:14,066 --> 00:26:17,607 ♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪ 492 00:26:19,858 --> 00:26:22,567 I'd completely forgotten about that place. 493 00:26:22,692 --> 00:26:25,858 Well, I guess Connor didn't, did he? 494 00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,442 {\an1}♪ We walk a while and talk about ♪ 495 00:26:29,567 --> 00:26:33,817 ♪ The things we'll do when we get out of school ♪ 496 00:26:33,942 --> 00:26:36,609 ♪ Um... bike the Appalachian Trail ♪ 497 00:26:36,734 --> 00:26:39,276 ♪ Or write a book or learn to sail ♪ 498 00:26:39,401 --> 00:26:41,651 ♪ Wouldn't that be cool? ♪ 499 00:26:41,776 --> 00:26:44,109 ♪ There's nothing that we can't discuss ♪ 500 00:26:44,234 --> 00:26:46,984 ♪ Like girls we wish would notice us ♪ 501 00:26:47,109 --> 00:26:49,068 ♪ But never do ♪ 502 00:26:49,193 --> 00:26:51,609 {\an1}♪ He looks around and says to me ♪ 503 00:26:51,734 --> 00:26:53,985 ♪ "There's nowhere else I'd rather be" ♪ 504 00:26:54,110 --> 00:26:55,694 ♪ And I say, "Me, too" ♪ 505 00:26:55,819 --> 00:27:00,194 ♪ And we talk and take in the view ♪ 506 00:27:01,569 --> 00:27:05,902 ♪ We just talk and take in the view ♪ 507 00:27:07,235 --> 00:27:10,778 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 508 00:27:10,903 --> 00:27:16,861 {\an1}♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 509 00:27:16,986 --> 00:27:22,986 ♪ Feels like we could go on for forever this way ♪ 510 00:27:23,111 --> 00:27:27,237 ♪ This way ♪ 511 00:27:27,362 --> 00:27:32,196 ♪ All we see is light for forever ♪ 512 00:27:32,321 --> 00:27:37,279 ♪ 'Cause the sun shines bright for forever ♪ 513 00:27:37,404 --> 00:27:43,863 {\an1}♪ Like we'll be all right for forever this way ♪ 514 00:27:43,988 --> 00:27:49,363 ♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪ 515 00:27:49,488 --> 00:27:51,322 ♪ And there he goes ♪ 516 00:27:51,447 --> 00:27:53,988 ♪ Racing toward the tallest tree ♪ 517 00:27:54,113 --> 00:27:56,323 {\an1}♪ From far across a yellow field ♪ 518 00:27:56,448 --> 00:27:59,114 ♪ I hear him calling, "Follow me" ♪ 519 00:27:59,239 --> 00:28:00,989 ♪ There we go ♪ 520 00:28:01,114 --> 00:28:04,114 ♪ Wondering how the world might look from up so high ♪ 521 00:28:04,239 --> 00:28:06,781 ♪ One foot after the other ♪ 522 00:28:06,906 --> 00:28:09,031 ♪ One branch then to another ♪ 523 00:28:09,156 --> 00:28:11,156 ♪ I climb higher and higher ♪ 524 00:28:11,281 --> 00:28:14,240 ♪ I climb till the entire sun ♪ 525 00:28:14,365 --> 00:28:20,407 ♪ Shines on my face ♪ 526 00:28:22,699 --> 00:28:28,200 {\an1}♪ And I suddenly feel the branch give way ♪ 527 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,075 ♪ I'm on the ground ♪ 528 00:28:35,783 --> 00:28:37,825 ♪ My arm goes numb ♪ 529 00:28:40,116 --> 00:28:41,825 ♪ I look around ♪ 530 00:28:41,950 --> 00:28:44,742 ♪ And I see him come to get me ♪ 531 00:28:46,992 --> 00:28:49,409 He's come to get me. 532 00:28:51,701 --> 00:28:54,284 ♪ And everything's okay ♪ 533 00:28:57,367 --> 00:29:02,077 ♪ All we see is sky for forever ♪ 534 00:29:02,202 --> 00:29:07,368 {\an1}♪ We let the world pass by for forever ♪ 535 00:29:08,910 --> 00:29:15,285 {\an1}♪ Buddy, you and I for forever this way ♪ 536 00:29:15,410 --> 00:29:18,494 ♪ This way ♪ 537 00:29:18,619 --> 00:29:24,119 ♪ All we see is light ♪ 538 00:29:24,244 --> 00:29:28,869 ♪ 'Cause the sun burns bright ♪ 539 00:29:28,994 --> 00:29:33,079 ♪ We could be all right for forever ♪ 540 00:29:33,204 --> 00:29:38,245 ♪ This way ♪ 541 00:29:38,370 --> 00:29:40,620 ♪ Two friends ♪ 542 00:29:42,579 --> 00:29:44,370 ♪ True friends ♪ 543 00:29:44,495 --> 00:29:47,454 ♪ On a perfect ♪ 544 00:29:48,663 --> 00:29:54,538 ♪ Day. ♪ 545 00:29:55,871 --> 00:29:58,496 Thank you, Evan. 546 00:29:58,621 --> 00:30:01,538 {\an1}Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 547 00:30:05,122 --> 00:30:06,831 I mean, they think you were lovers. 548 00:30:06,956 --> 00:30:08,831 - You realize that, right? - Oh, my God. 549 00:30:08,956 --> 00:30:10,372 {\an1}I thought you were gonna tell them the truth. 550 00:30:10,497 --> 00:30:12,039 I-I-I tried, but then I just... 551 00:30:12,164 --> 00:30:13,622 I got nervous and I started talking. 552 00:30:13,747 --> 00:30:15,164 And then once I started, I just... 553 00:30:15,289 --> 00:30:17,039 Couldn't stop. 554 00:30:17,164 --> 00:30:18,664 They didn't want me to stop. 555 00:30:18,789 --> 00:30:20,665 What else did you say to them? 556 00:30:20,790 --> 00:30:22,582 Uh, his mom thinks that we wrote emails to each other. 557 00:30:22,707 --> 00:30:24,123 Oh, perfect. 558 00:30:24,248 --> 00:30:26,082 {\an1}Sh-She thinks he had, like, secret accounts. 559 00:30:26,207 --> 00:30:28,040 Ha, yes. Secret email accounts. 560 00:30:28,165 --> 00:30:29,832 That's what all the cool kids are doing. 561 00:30:29,957 --> 00:30:31,373 Hansen! Kalwani! 562 00:30:31,498 --> 00:30:32,665 Pick it up! 563 00:30:32,790 --> 00:30:34,957 {\an1}- No, thank you. - What was that? 564 00:30:35,082 --> 00:30:37,999 I said thank you for the encouragement! 565 00:30:38,124 --> 00:30:39,124 Fascist. 566 00:30:39,249 --> 00:30:40,999 She wants to see the emails. 567 00:30:41,124 --> 00:30:43,333 And now you want me to make a bunch of fake emails for you. 568 00:30:43,458 --> 00:30:44,958 - Classic. - You know how to do that? 569 00:30:45,083 --> 00:30:47,333 {\an1}- It's simple coding. - But you failed coding. 570 00:30:47,458 --> 00:30:49,291 If you consider a D-minus failing. 571 00:30:49,416 --> 00:30:50,791 Just so we're clear, 572 00:30:50,916 --> 00:30:52,125 {\an1}I charge a minimum of two grand per email, 573 00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:53,334 and that is a floor, not a ceiling. 574 00:30:53,459 --> 00:30:55,042 {\an1}- $2,000? - 500. 575 00:30:55,167 --> 00:30:56,375 I didn't even ask for your help. 576 00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:57,917 250, bottom line. Take it or leave it. 577 00:30:58,042 --> 00:30:59,542 I could probably give you 20 bucks. 578 00:30:59,667 --> 00:31:01,459 Fine, but I'm not gonna act like I'm happy about it. 579 00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:05,334 ♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪ 580 00:31:05,459 --> 00:31:08,668 ♪ We've been way too out of touch ♪ 581 00:31:08,793 --> 00:31:10,376 ♪ Things have been crazy ♪ 582 00:31:10,501 --> 00:31:13,626 ♪ And it sucks that we don't talk that much ♪ 583 00:31:13,751 --> 00:31:18,460 ♪ But I should tell you that I think of you each night ♪ 584 00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:22,460 ♪ I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight ♪ 585 00:31:22,626 --> 00:31:23,836 Why would you write that? 586 00:31:23,961 --> 00:31:25,419 I'm just trying to make it erotic. 587 00:31:25,544 --> 00:31:26,502 Look, if you can't take this seriously, then... 588 00:31:26,627 --> 00:31:27,836 Ugh, calm yourself, honey. 589 00:31:27,961 --> 00:31:29,211 I just want to get this over with. 590 00:31:29,336 --> 00:31:31,294 ♪ I gotta tell you ♪ 591 00:31:31,419 --> 00:31:33,669 ♪ Life without you has been hard ♪ 592 00:31:33,794 --> 00:31:34,877 - "Hard"? - ♪ Has been bad ♪ 593 00:31:35,002 --> 00:31:36,211 - "Bad"? - Has been rough. 594 00:31:36,336 --> 00:31:37,669 - Kinky. - Please stop. 595 00:31:37,794 --> 00:31:39,670 ♪ And I miss talking about life ♪ 596 00:31:39,795 --> 00:31:41,087 ♪ And other stuff ♪ 597 00:31:41,212 --> 00:31:43,253 - Very specific. - Shut up. 598 00:31:43,378 --> 00:31:45,420 - ♪ I like my parents ♪ - Who says that? 599 00:31:45,545 --> 00:31:47,378 ♪ I love my parents ♪ 600 00:31:47,503 --> 00:31:49,670 ♪ But each day's another fight ♪ 601 00:31:50,670 --> 00:31:52,420 ♪ If I stop smoking drugs ♪ 602 00:31:52,545 --> 00:31:55,003 ♪ Then everything might be all right ♪ 603 00:31:55,128 --> 00:31:56,379 "Smoking drugs"? 604 00:31:56,504 --> 00:31:58,004 Just fix it! 605 00:31:58,129 --> 00:32:00,463 - ♪ If I stop smoking crack ♪ - "Crack"? 606 00:32:00,588 --> 00:32:02,379 ♪ If I stop smoking pot ♪ 607 00:32:02,504 --> 00:32:05,379 ♪ Then everything might be all right ♪ 608 00:32:05,504 --> 00:32:07,671 ♪ I'll take your advice ♪ 609 00:32:07,796 --> 00:32:10,546 ♪ I'll try to be more nice ♪ 610 00:32:10,671 --> 00:32:11,797 ♪ I'll turn it around ♪ 611 00:32:11,922 --> 00:32:15,464 ♪ Wait and see ♪ 612 00:32:15,589 --> 00:32:20,255 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 613 00:32:20,380 --> 00:32:25,005 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 614 00:32:25,130 --> 00:32:27,464 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 615 00:32:27,590 --> 00:32:30,215 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 616 00:32:30,340 --> 00:32:32,590 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 617 00:32:32,715 --> 00:32:34,131 Are we done? 618 00:32:34,256 --> 00:32:35,715 {\an1}Well, I mean, I can't just show them one email. 619 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,715 I want to show that I was, like, a good friend. 620 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,840 That I was trying to help him, you know? 621 00:32:39,965 --> 00:32:41,423 Oh, my God. 622 00:32:41,548 --> 00:32:43,549 ♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪ 623 00:32:43,674 --> 00:32:46,966 ♪ Yes, I also miss our talks ♪ 624 00:32:47,091 --> 00:32:48,632 ♪ Stop doing drugs ♪ 625 00:32:48,757 --> 00:32:51,299 ♪ Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks ♪ 626 00:32:51,424 --> 00:32:53,424 - No. - ♪ I'm sending pictures ♪ 627 00:32:53,549 --> 00:32:55,424 ♪ Of the most amazing trees ♪ 628 00:32:55,549 --> 00:32:56,841 No. 629 00:32:56,966 --> 00:32:58,424 ♪ You'll be obsessed with ♪ 630 00:32:58,549 --> 00:33:01,258 - ♪ All my forest expertise ♪ - What? 631 00:33:01,383 --> 00:33:04,217 ♪ Dude, I'm proud of you ♪ 632 00:33:04,342 --> 00:33:07,217 ♪ Just keep pushing through ♪ 633 00:33:07,342 --> 00:33:09,175 ♪ You're turning around, I can see ♪ 634 00:33:09,300 --> 00:33:11,258 ♪ Just wait and see ♪ 635 00:33:11,383 --> 00:33:16,676 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 636 00:33:16,801 --> 00:33:21,343 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 637 00:33:21,468 --> 00:33:23,968 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 638 00:33:24,093 --> 00:33:26,718 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 639 00:33:26,843 --> 00:33:28,593 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 640 00:33:28,718 --> 00:33:29,801 ♪ My sister's hot ♪ 641 00:33:29,926 --> 00:33:31,510 - What the hell? - My bad. 642 00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:33,135 ♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪ 643 00:33:33,260 --> 00:33:36,677 ♪ Thanks for every note you send ♪ 644 00:33:36,802 --> 00:33:38,135 ♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪ 645 00:33:38,260 --> 00:33:41,385 ♪ I'm just glad to be your friend ♪ 646 00:33:41,510 --> 00:33:43,885 ♪ Our friendship goes beyond ♪ 647 00:33:44,010 --> 00:33:46,302 ♪ Your average kind of bond ♪ 648 00:33:46,427 --> 00:33:48,678 ♪ But not because they're gay ♪ 649 00:33:48,803 --> 00:33:50,178 ♪ No, not because... ♪ 650 00:33:50,303 --> 00:33:51,636 ♪ Well, anyway ♪ 651 00:33:51,761 --> 00:33:53,886 ♪ You're getting better every day ♪ 652 00:33:54,011 --> 00:33:56,178 ♪ I'm getting better every day ♪ 653 00:33:56,303 --> 00:33:57,553 - ♪ Keep ♪ - ♪ Getting ♪ 654 00:33:57,678 --> 00:33:58,303 {\an1}- ♪ Better ♪ - ♪ Every ♪ 655 00:33:58,428 --> 00:33:59,428 ♪ Day ♪ 656 00:33:59,553 --> 00:34:01,178 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 657 00:34:01,303 --> 00:34:06,137 ♪ 'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention ♪ 658 00:34:06,262 --> 00:34:10,929 ♪ It's easy to change if you give it your attention ♪ 659 00:34:11,054 --> 00:34:13,512 ♪ All you got to do is just believe ♪ 660 00:34:13,637 --> 00:34:16,137 ♪ You can be who you want to be ♪ 661 00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:18,221 ♪ Sincerely ♪ 662 00:34:18,346 --> 00:34:21,097 ♪ Miss you dearly ♪ 663 00:34:21,222 --> 00:34:23,680 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 664 00:34:24,638 --> 00:34:26,138 ♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 665 00:34:27,097 --> 00:34:30,472 {\an1}♪ Sincerely, Me ♪ 666 00:34:30,597 --> 00:34:32,180 ♪ Sincerely, Me. ♪ 667 00:34:36,098 --> 00:34:38,723 I can't remember the last time that I heard him laugh, 668 00:34:38,848 --> 00:34:40,723 {\an1}but the two of them, if you read these... 669 00:34:40,848 --> 00:34:42,639 I think if you could take ten minutes 670 00:34:42,764 --> 00:34:44,514 {\an1}and actually read these emails... 671 00:34:44,639 --> 00:34:46,764 I'm looking at them right now. 672 00:34:49,056 --> 00:34:51,557 Zoe. Look what Evan sent us. 673 00:34:51,682 --> 00:34:53,974 They're emails from your brother. 674 00:34:54,099 --> 00:34:55,265 I printed them out. 675 00:34:55,390 --> 00:34:57,599 Oh. Take that, trees. 676 00:34:57,724 --> 00:34:59,349 {\an1}- How was school? - Terrific. 677 00:34:59,474 --> 00:35:01,307 All of a sudden, people I've never met 678 00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:02,890 want to be my best friend. 679 00:35:03,015 --> 00:35:05,432 I'm the dead kid's sister, didn't you know? 680 00:35:06,432 --> 00:35:07,725 I'm sure they mean well. 681 00:35:07,850 --> 00:35:09,891 I'm sure they don't. 682 00:35:16,516 --> 00:35:18,308 She needs time. 683 00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:21,933 No, Larry, she needs her parents. 684 00:35:22,058 --> 00:35:24,184 Enjoy the game. 685 00:35:31,642 --> 00:35:32,976 Can I come in? 686 00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:37,392 Oh. 687 00:35:37,517 --> 00:35:39,977 You don't have to stop playing. 688 00:35:40,977 --> 00:35:42,852 How was band? 689 00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:48,768 You know, he-he talks about you playing guitar, 690 00:35:48,893 --> 00:35:52,393 in one of his emails, at the spring concert last year. 691 00:35:52,518 --> 00:35:54,227 Really? 692 00:35:54,352 --> 00:35:55,268 {\an1}Yeah. 693 00:35:55,394 --> 00:35:59,103 Does he, does he talk about 694 00:35:59,228 --> 00:36:01,436 when he disappeared for two days? 695 00:36:01,561 --> 00:36:04,269 But then he called me and asked me to come pick him up. 696 00:36:04,394 --> 00:36:05,728 He wanted to come home, 697 00:36:05,853 --> 00:36:07,394 {\an1}but he wasn't ready to talk to you yet, 698 00:36:07,519 --> 00:36:10,436 so I took the bus all the way downtown to get him, 699 00:36:10,561 --> 00:36:13,062 and guess what. 700 00:36:16,062 --> 00:36:18,645 All he really wanted was money. 701 00:36:21,479 --> 00:36:25,520 And I gave it to him because I was 12. 702 00:36:28,188 --> 00:36:30,188 He was struggling. 703 00:36:32,563 --> 00:36:34,855 How about the time he tried to punch through my door, 704 00:36:34,980 --> 00:36:36,480 screaming at the top of his lungs, 705 00:36:36,605 --> 00:36:39,355 saying he was gonna kill me for no reason? 706 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,563 Is that email in there? 707 00:36:43,356 --> 00:36:45,439 We're all grieving in our own way. 708 00:36:52,647 --> 00:36:56,314 You might consider reading these when you're ready. 709 00:36:57,731 --> 00:36:59,940 They might help more than you think. 710 00:37:17,399 --> 00:37:20,441 {\an1}♪ Why should I play this game of pretend? ♪ 711 00:37:21,899 --> 00:37:26,441 {\an1}♪ Remembering through a secondhand sorrow ♪ 712 00:37:26,566 --> 00:37:30,441 {\an1}♪ Such a great son and wonderful friend ♪ 713 00:37:30,566 --> 00:37:34,734 ♪ Oh, don't the tears just pour ♪ 714 00:37:35,817 --> 00:37:39,067 ♪ I could curl up and hide in my room ♪ 715 00:37:40,442 --> 00:37:44,859 ♪ Here in my bed still sobbing tomorrow ♪ 716 00:37:44,984 --> 00:37:48,985 ♪ I could give in to all of the gloom ♪ 717 00:37:49,110 --> 00:37:53,985 ♪ But tell me, tell me what for ♪ 718 00:37:54,110 --> 00:37:57,068 ♪ Why should I have a heavy heart? ♪ 719 00:37:57,193 --> 00:38:00,026 {\an1}♪ Why should I start to break in pieces? ♪ 720 00:38:00,151 --> 00:38:04,236 ♪ Why should I go and fall apart for you? ♪ 721 00:38:06,236 --> 00:38:11,569 {\an1}♪ Why should I play the grieving girl ♪ 722 00:38:11,694 --> 00:38:14,652 ♪ And lie ♪ 723 00:38:14,777 --> 00:38:19,570 {\an1}♪ Saying that I miss you and that my world ♪ 724 00:38:19,695 --> 00:38:24,778 ♪ Has gone dark without your light? ♪ 725 00:38:26,528 --> 00:38:29,570 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 726 00:38:31,403 --> 00:38:32,695 ♪ Tonight ♪ 727 00:38:40,779 --> 00:38:43,863 {\an1}♪ We gave you the world, you threw it away ♪ 728 00:38:45,404 --> 00:38:49,738 ♪ Leaving these broken pieces behind you ♪ 729 00:38:49,863 --> 00:38:53,947 ♪ Everything wasted, nothing to say ♪ 730 00:38:54,072 --> 00:38:56,864 ♪ So I can sing no requiem ♪ 731 00:38:56,989 --> 00:39:01,364 {\an1}♪ I hear your voice and feel you near ♪ 732 00:39:01,489 --> 00:39:06,197 {\an1}♪ Within these words I finally find you ♪ 733 00:39:06,322 --> 00:39:10,698 {\an1}♪ And now that I know that you are still here ♪ 734 00:39:10,823 --> 00:39:13,740 ♪ I will sing no requiem tonight ♪ 735 00:39:13,865 --> 00:39:16,740 ♪ Why should I have a heavy heart? ♪ 736 00:39:16,865 --> 00:39:19,656 {\an1}♪ Why should I say I'll keep you with me? ♪ 737 00:39:19,781 --> 00:39:25,407 ♪ Why should I go and fall apart for you? ♪ 738 00:39:25,532 --> 00:39:28,199 ♪ Why ♪ 739 00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:30,324 ♪ Should I play the grieving girl ♪ 740 00:39:30,449 --> 00:39:33,699 ♪ And lie ♪ 741 00:39:33,824 --> 00:39:36,407 ♪ Saying that I miss you and that ♪ 742 00:39:36,532 --> 00:39:40,283 ♪ My world has gone dark without your light? ♪ 743 00:39:40,408 --> 00:39:44,742 ♪ I can see your light ♪ 744 00:39:44,867 --> 00:39:48,242 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 745 00:39:48,367 --> 00:39:50,325 ♪ Tonight ♪ 746 00:39:50,450 --> 00:39:52,867 ♪ 'Cause when the villains fall ♪ 747 00:39:52,992 --> 00:39:55,743 ♪ The kingdoms never weep ♪ 748 00:39:55,868 --> 00:40:00,451 ♪ No one lights a candle to remember ♪ 749 00:40:00,576 --> 00:40:03,701 ♪ No, no one mourns at all ♪ 750 00:40:03,826 --> 00:40:06,868 ♪ When they lay them down to sleep ♪ 751 00:40:06,993 --> 00:40:13,827 ♪ So don't tell me that I didn't have it right ♪ 752 00:40:13,952 --> 00:40:18,577 ♪ Don't tell me that it wasn't black and white ♪ 753 00:40:18,702 --> 00:40:21,285 ♪ After all you put me through ♪ 754 00:40:21,410 --> 00:40:24,577 ♪ Don't say it wasn't true ♪ 755 00:40:24,702 --> 00:40:28,370 ♪ That you were not the monster ♪ 756 00:40:36,953 --> 00:40:38,995 {\an1}- ♪ That I knew ♪ 757 00:40:42,245 --> 00:40:45,371 ♪ 'Cause I ♪ 758 00:40:45,496 --> 00:40:50,787 ♪ Cannot play the grieving girl and lie ♪ 759 00:40:50,912 --> 00:40:55,787 {\an1}♪ Saying that I miss you and that my world ♪ 760 00:40:55,912 --> 00:40:57,954 ♪ Has gone dark ♪ 761 00:41:02,330 --> 00:41:05,955 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 762 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,663 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 763 00:41:11,788 --> 00:41:14,788 ♪ I will sing no requiem ♪ 764 00:41:16,956 --> 00:41:18,539 ♪ Tonight ♪ 765 00:41:18,664 --> 00:41:20,956 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 766 00:41:21,081 --> 00:41:23,331 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 767 00:41:23,456 --> 00:41:25,789 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 768 00:41:25,914 --> 00:41:30,999 ♪ Oh, oh. ♪ 769 00:41:33,082 --> 00:41:34,707 They did a whole thing about them on NPR yesterday, 770 00:41:34,832 --> 00:41:36,124 these-these essay contests. 771 00:41:36,249 --> 00:41:37,624 And if you win, 772 00:41:37,749 --> 00:41:39,207 {\an1}it doesn't count against any financial aid. 773 00:41:39,332 --> 00:41:44,124 You know, so $5,000 here or $3,000 there. 774 00:41:44,249 --> 00:41:46,374 It adds up, and we're gonna need 775 00:41:46,499 --> 00:41:48,666 all the help we can get with college. 776 00:41:48,791 --> 00:41:52,125 I mean, unless your stepmother has some trust fund for you 777 00:41:52,250 --> 00:41:54,375 that I don't know about with all those fabulous tips 778 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:55,875 - she made cocktail waitressing. - Huh. 779 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,875 Right? 780 00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,375 Mm. 781 00:42:04,417 --> 00:42:05,917 I got a... 782 00:42:06,042 --> 00:42:08,751 I got an email from your school yesterday, 783 00:42:08,876 --> 00:42:12,626 {\an1}um, about that boy that-that killed himself. 784 00:42:12,751 --> 00:42:13,959 Connor Murphy? 785 00:42:14,084 --> 00:42:15,667 Yeah. 786 00:42:15,792 --> 00:42:17,459 I didn't really know him, so... 787 00:42:17,584 --> 00:42:22,127 You know, if you ever want to talk about anything... 788 00:42:22,252 --> 00:42:24,127 {\an1}You know, I mean, I mean, I know that lately 789 00:42:24,252 --> 00:42:25,627 it feels like I'm-I'm always working. 790 00:42:25,752 --> 00:42:27,460 - It's fine. - But I'm-I'm-I'm here, 791 00:42:27,585 --> 00:42:30,002 and if I... If I'm not here, I'm just a phone call away 792 00:42:30,127 --> 00:42:31,668 {\an1}or an email or a text, you know, whatever. 793 00:42:31,793 --> 00:42:33,127 I know. 794 00:42:34,127 --> 00:42:36,919 It says "Connor" on your cast. 795 00:42:37,044 --> 00:42:39,128 Oh. 796 00:42:39,253 --> 00:42:40,753 No, no, yeah. Um... 797 00:42:40,878 --> 00:42:42,961 - You said you didn't know him. - Sorry, I didn't. 798 00:42:43,086 --> 00:42:44,711 Um... 799 00:42:44,836 --> 00:42:47,669 It's in memory, so, like... 800 00:42:47,794 --> 00:42:49,836 Y-You know, kids are, like, um... 801 00:42:49,961 --> 00:42:51,629 {\an1}they're writing his name on-on... 802 00:42:51,754 --> 00:42:54,587 lockers and stuff like that. 803 00:42:54,712 --> 00:42:56,045 {\an1}Oh. 804 00:42:57,962 --> 00:42:59,795 Um... 805 00:43:02,212 --> 00:43:05,337 That's lovely. You know, in memory. 806 00:43:05,462 --> 00:43:06,712 {\an1}Hmm. 807 00:43:09,380 --> 00:43:10,380 Hey. 808 00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:12,088 Tuesday. What are you doing? 809 00:43:13,463 --> 00:43:15,921 {\an1}When's the last time we did Taco Tuesday? 810 00:43:16,046 --> 00:43:17,588 That'd be great. 811 00:43:17,713 --> 00:43:19,630 Really? 812 00:43:19,755 --> 00:43:21,255 Yeah. 813 00:43:21,380 --> 00:43:23,256 So the memorial's really just an opportunity 814 00:43:23,381 --> 00:43:25,131 for all of us to come together as a community 815 00:43:25,256 --> 00:43:28,506 {\an1}and to remember Connor and celebrate who he was. 816 00:43:29,714 --> 00:43:31,047 Would you want to speak or perform? 817 00:43:31,172 --> 00:43:32,922 I didn't really know him. I'm sorry. 818 00:43:33,047 --> 00:43:34,964 - That's okay. - Bye. 819 00:43:47,382 --> 00:43:48,465 Want a wristband? 820 00:43:48,590 --> 00:43:50,965 Oh, yes. Yeah. Okay. 821 00:43:51,090 --> 00:43:52,298 Thank you. 822 00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:56,841 {\an1}You were friends with him, right? 823 00:43:58,549 --> 00:44:00,424 I saw him sign your cast in the library, 824 00:44:00,549 --> 00:44:03,008 and you started arguing about something. 825 00:44:04,091 --> 00:44:06,716 - Were you friends with him? - We weren't close. 826 00:44:06,841 --> 00:44:09,466 We presented together o-on Huck Finn in the tenth grade, 827 00:44:09,591 --> 00:44:12,384 {\an1}but he probably didn't tell you that. 828 00:44:12,509 --> 00:44:14,217 Um, no, no, I didn't know. 829 00:44:14,342 --> 00:44:16,425 I always really liked him. 830 00:44:16,550 --> 00:44:18,050 It seemed like he didn't really care 831 00:44:18,175 --> 00:44:20,259 what anyone else thought, and... 832 00:44:20,384 --> 00:44:21,884 I thought that was pretty remarkable. 833 00:44:25,884 --> 00:44:28,135 Well, I'm putting together a memorial for him 834 00:44:28,260 --> 00:44:30,343 at school on Friday. 835 00:44:30,468 --> 00:44:31,760 If you wanted to do something... 836 00:44:31,885 --> 00:44:34,301 Oh. Um... 837 00:44:34,426 --> 00:44:36,551 Sorry, I-I... 838 00:44:36,676 --> 00:44:40,135 I-I probably w-would rather not, if that's okay. 839 00:44:40,260 --> 00:44:41,260 Yeah, sure. 840 00:44:41,385 --> 00:44:43,719 If you change your mind... 841 00:44:43,844 --> 00:44:45,052 just text me. 842 00:44:49,011 --> 00:44:50,927 Okay. 843 00:44:57,719 --> 00:44:58,970 Mom. 844 00:45:37,430 --> 00:45:39,514 My mom realized we were out of ice cream, 845 00:45:39,639 --> 00:45:41,472 so they went to go get more. 846 00:45:42,472 --> 00:45:44,389 Did you park in the driveway? 847 00:45:44,514 --> 00:45:46,931 'Cause if you park on the street, they'll ticket you. 848 00:45:47,056 --> 00:45:48,848 The people in this neighborhood are monsters. 849 00:45:48,973 --> 00:45:51,056 {\an1}Um, no, I didn't, I didn't, um... 850 00:45:51,181 --> 00:45:53,056 I took the bus. My mom needed the car for work. 851 00:45:53,181 --> 00:45:55,140 - What about your dad? - My dad. 852 00:45:55,265 --> 00:45:57,765 Um, he lives in Colorado, so... 853 00:45:57,890 --> 00:45:59,931 He left when I was seven. 854 00:46:02,598 --> 00:46:04,057 That sucks. 855 00:46:05,307 --> 00:46:08,682 Mine died when I was one, so... 856 00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:10,057 I sort of win. 857 00:46:11,182 --> 00:46:13,099 {\an1}- Sorry. - Thanks. 858 00:46:13,224 --> 00:46:14,766 It's fine. 859 00:46:14,891 --> 00:46:17,807 I-I don't even really remember him, to be honest. 860 00:46:17,932 --> 00:46:20,725 Connor did, though, a little. 861 00:46:20,850 --> 00:46:22,683 That's terrible. 862 00:46:22,808 --> 00:46:24,225 Yeah. 863 00:46:24,350 --> 00:46:27,975 And then Larry showed up, fixed everything. 864 00:46:29,433 --> 00:46:31,392 For a while, at least. 865 00:46:31,517 --> 00:46:33,225 Yeah. 866 00:46:33,350 --> 00:46:35,893 Most people, with Connor, they just would've been like, 867 00:46:36,018 --> 00:46:40,434 "See ya," but he's the only dad we ever really knew, so... 868 00:46:42,101 --> 00:46:44,059 Wow, your mom... I didn't, I didn't realize. 869 00:46:44,184 --> 00:46:45,643 Yeah, well. 870 00:46:45,768 --> 00:46:48,018 She's in total denial now. 871 00:46:48,143 --> 00:46:49,518 So is Larry. 872 00:46:49,643 --> 00:46:51,060 I mean, he didn't even cry at the funeral. 873 00:46:51,185 --> 00:46:52,269 I'm sorry. 874 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,935 {\an1}Not as sorry as you're gonna be. 875 00:46:57,852 --> 00:46:59,810 - Oh, is-is that the... - Mm-hmm. 876 00:46:59,935 --> 00:47:03,185 Gluten-free apple pie? You bet. 877 00:47:03,310 --> 00:47:04,769 It-it looks... 878 00:47:06,435 --> 00:47:08,145 {\an1}- Inedible? 879 00:47:08,270 --> 00:47:09,728 It is. 880 00:47:10,811 --> 00:47:13,686 Just be glad we get to have real ice cream. 881 00:47:13,811 --> 00:47:15,686 My mom was Buddhist last year, 882 00:47:15,811 --> 00:47:17,436 {\an1}so we couldn't have any animal products. 883 00:47:17,561 --> 00:47:20,020 She was B... um, Buddhist last year but not this year? 884 00:47:20,145 --> 00:47:22,353 Yep. That's sort of what she does. 885 00:47:22,478 --> 00:47:24,187 She gets into a lot of different things. 886 00:47:24,312 --> 00:47:27,437 - Mm. - For a while, it was Pilates. 887 00:47:27,562 --> 00:47:29,312 The Secret. 888 00:47:29,437 --> 00:47:31,437 Buddhism. Et cetera. 889 00:47:31,562 --> 00:47:33,604 It's cool that she's interested in so much different stuff. 890 00:47:33,729 --> 00:47:35,021 Yeah, she's not, though. 891 00:47:35,146 --> 00:47:37,021 That's just what happens when you're rich 892 00:47:37,146 --> 00:47:38,104 and you don't have a job. 893 00:47:38,229 --> 00:47:39,355 You get a little crazy. 894 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:40,688 Well, my mom always says 895 00:47:40,813 --> 00:47:42,438 it's better to be rich than poor, so... 896 00:47:42,563 --> 00:47:44,022 Yeah, well, your mom's probably never been rich, then. 897 00:47:44,147 --> 00:47:45,730 Yeah, you've probably never been poor. 898 00:47:48,105 --> 00:47:49,355 Oh, my God, I can't believe I just said that. 899 00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:50,772 I'm so sorry. 900 00:47:50,897 --> 00:47:52,855 Wow. I didn't realize 901 00:47:52,980 --> 00:47:55,231 you were capable of saying something that wasn't nice. 902 00:47:55,356 --> 00:47:57,023 {\an1}I'm n... I'm not. I'm really sorry. 903 00:47:57,148 --> 00:47:59,481 You really don't have to keep saying that. 904 00:47:59,606 --> 00:48:01,439 {\an1}Okay. 905 00:48:01,564 --> 00:48:03,689 You want to say it again. 906 00:48:03,814 --> 00:48:05,106 Yeah, very much so, I do. 907 00:48:12,107 --> 00:48:14,565 Why did he write that... 908 00:48:14,690 --> 00:48:15,940 in his note? 909 00:48:16,065 --> 00:48:18,232 "Because there's Zoe. 910 00:48:18,357 --> 00:48:21,690 And I don't even know her, but if I could just talk to her..." 911 00:48:24,315 --> 00:48:26,440 Honestly, I really don't know. 912 00:48:26,565 --> 00:48:29,066 {\an1}What does any of that even mean? I mean... 913 00:48:29,191 --> 00:48:31,358 We weren't close at all. 914 00:48:31,483 --> 00:48:33,816 Not since we were kids. 915 00:48:33,941 --> 00:48:35,900 He never noticed anything about me. 916 00:48:36,025 --> 00:48:38,441 {\an1}That's not true. That's not true. 917 00:48:38,566 --> 00:48:40,691 He-he-he noticed a lot of things about you. 918 00:48:40,816 --> 00:48:42,441 Like what things? 919 00:48:52,567 --> 00:48:53,651 Right. 920 00:48:53,776 --> 00:48:54,651 No, no, no. 921 00:48:54,776 --> 00:48:56,776 That's, um... 922 00:48:56,901 --> 00:48:57,984 Well... 923 00:48:58,109 --> 00:48:59,860 Okay, w... Okay. 924 00:48:59,985 --> 00:49:02,277 Here's something. Um... 925 00:49:02,402 --> 00:49:05,943 {\an1}Whenever you have, uh, a solo in-in jazz band, 926 00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:08,193 {\an1}you just... you close your e... 927 00:49:08,318 --> 00:49:09,652 you probably don't even know you're doing this, 928 00:49:09,777 --> 00:49:12,277 {\an1}but you close your eyes, um, and you get, like... 929 00:49:12,402 --> 00:49:13,985 I don't know, it's like a half smile, 930 00:49:14,110 --> 00:49:15,736 like you just heard the funniest thing in the world, 931 00:49:15,861 --> 00:49:17,153 but it's a secret and you can't tell anyone about it. 932 00:49:17,278 --> 00:49:18,944 But then... 933 00:49:19,069 --> 00:49:20,944 uh, the way that you smile, it's sort of like you are... 934 00:49:21,069 --> 00:49:23,736 {\an1}you're letting us in on the secret, too. 935 00:49:23,861 --> 00:49:25,528 {\an1}- Um...- 936 00:49:25,653 --> 00:49:27,861 ♪ He said ♪ 937 00:49:27,986 --> 00:49:29,736 ♪ There's nothing like your smile ♪ 938 00:49:29,861 --> 00:49:33,695 ♪ Sort of subtle and perfect and real ♪ 939 00:49:35,029 --> 00:49:40,070 ♪ He said you never knew how wonderful ♪ 940 00:49:40,195 --> 00:49:43,987 ♪ That smile could make someone feel ♪ 941 00:49:45,487 --> 00:49:49,530 ♪ And he knew whenever you get bored ♪ 942 00:49:49,655 --> 00:49:54,196 ♪ You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans ♪ 943 00:49:55,738 --> 00:49:59,988 ♪ And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes ♪ 944 00:50:00,113 --> 00:50:02,864 ♪ That they put in those teen magazines ♪ 945 00:50:02,989 --> 00:50:04,822 I-I do that ironically. 946 00:50:04,947 --> 00:50:10,156 ♪ But he kept it all inside his head ♪ 947 00:50:10,281 --> 00:50:14,822 ♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪ 948 00:50:14,947 --> 00:50:17,572 ♪ And though he wanted to ♪ 949 00:50:17,697 --> 00:50:19,198 ♪ He couldn't talk to you ♪ 950 00:50:19,323 --> 00:50:22,573 ♪ He couldn't find a way ♪ 951 00:50:24,323 --> 00:50:28,948 ♪ But he would always say ♪ 952 00:50:29,073 --> 00:50:32,615 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 953 00:50:32,740 --> 00:50:34,699 ♪ Tell her everything I see ♪ 954 00:50:34,824 --> 00:50:37,408 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 955 00:50:37,533 --> 00:50:40,658 ♪ How she's everything to me ♪ 956 00:50:40,783 --> 00:50:45,324 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 957 00:50:46,741 --> 00:50:50,909 {\an1}♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 958 00:50:51,034 --> 00:50:54,992 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 959 00:50:55,992 --> 00:51:01,284 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 960 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:05,200 Did he say anything else? 961 00:51:05,325 --> 00:51:06,743 About you? 962 00:51:06,868 --> 00:51:08,368 N-Never mind. I don't even care, all right? 963 00:51:08,493 --> 00:51:09,826 {\an1}Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He said so many things. 964 00:51:09,951 --> 00:51:11,326 I'm trying to... I'm just... 965 00:51:11,451 --> 00:51:12,993 {\an1}I'm trying to remember the best ones, so... 966 00:51:13,118 --> 00:51:14,493 Um... 967 00:51:14,618 --> 00:51:18,410 ♪ He thought it looked pretty cool ♪ 968 00:51:18,535 --> 00:51:21,910 ♪ When you put indigo streaks in your hair ♪ 969 00:51:22,035 --> 00:51:24,119 No fucking way. 970 00:51:24,244 --> 00:51:27,869 ♪ And he wondered how you learned to dance ♪ 971 00:51:27,994 --> 00:51:33,744 ♪ Like all the rest of the world isn't there ♪ 972 00:51:33,869 --> 00:51:38,787 ♪ But he kept it all inside his head ♪ 973 00:51:38,912 --> 00:51:43,495 ♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪ 974 00:51:43,620 --> 00:51:46,537 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 975 00:51:46,662 --> 00:51:48,453 ♪ Tell her everything I see ♪ 976 00:51:48,578 --> 00:51:51,120 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 977 00:51:51,245 --> 00:51:53,620 ♪ How she's everything to me ♪ 978 00:51:53,745 --> 00:51:58,829 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 979 00:52:00,788 --> 00:52:04,788 {\an1}♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 980 00:52:04,913 --> 00:52:08,996 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 981 00:52:10,038 --> 00:52:12,289 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 982 00:52:12,414 --> 00:52:17,372 ♪ But what do you do when there's this great divide? ♪ 983 00:52:17,497 --> 00:52:22,247 ♪ He just seemed so far away ♪ 984 00:52:22,372 --> 00:52:26,498 ♪ And what do you do when the distance is too wide? ♪ 985 00:52:26,623 --> 00:52:27,748 ♪ It's like I don't know anything ♪ 986 00:52:27,873 --> 00:52:29,956 ♪ How do you say ♪ 987 00:52:30,081 --> 00:52:34,040 ♪ I love you? ♪ 988 00:52:34,998 --> 00:52:38,665 ♪ I love you ♪ 989 00:52:39,623 --> 00:52:44,249 ♪ I love you ♪ 990 00:52:45,249 --> 00:52:49,499 ♪ I love you ♪ 991 00:52:52,832 --> 00:53:00,042 ♪ But we're a million worlds apart ♪ 992 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,458 {\an1}♪ And I don't know how I would even start ♪ 993 00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:13,167 ♪ If I could tell her ♪ 994 00:53:13,292 --> 00:53:17,793 ♪ If I could. ♪ 995 00:53:22,584 --> 00:53:24,834 {\an1}Hello. 996 00:53:24,959 --> 00:53:26,751 {\an1}- Oh, sorry. - Uh... 997 00:53:26,876 --> 00:53:29,084 {\an1}Oh, you beat us. 998 00:53:29,209 --> 00:53:30,669 Um, Zoe, can you help serve? 999 00:53:30,794 --> 00:53:32,210 - Yeah. - Larry, get the plates. 1000 00:53:32,335 --> 00:53:33,752 Can I do anything? 1001 00:53:33,877 --> 00:53:35,210 No, no, no. You're the guest. You sit down. 1002 00:53:35,335 --> 00:53:37,419 {\an1}We asked if they had any soy ice cream, 1003 00:53:37,544 --> 00:53:41,585 but the guy at the store said there was just no "whey," so... 1004 00:53:41,710 --> 00:53:43,210 {\an1}When are you gonna give up that joke? 1005 00:53:43,335 --> 00:53:44,960 I think never, actually. 1006 00:53:45,085 --> 00:53:46,169 You don't have to laugh at that. Please don't. 1007 00:53:46,295 --> 00:53:47,586 Oh. 1008 00:53:47,711 --> 00:53:50,253 I'm sorry, but there's no way 1009 00:53:50,378 --> 00:53:52,586 you'd ever be able to tell in a million years 1010 00:53:52,711 --> 00:53:53,920 that this was gluten-free. 1011 00:53:54,045 --> 00:53:55,795 Mom, come on. Look at it. 1012 00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:58,628 {\an1}A million years is, uh... that's a lot of years. 1013 00:53:58,753 --> 00:54:01,211 Do you see what I have to deal with? 1014 00:54:02,296 --> 00:54:03,421 I'm glad you're here. 1015 00:54:32,047 --> 00:54:34,005 "The Connor Project." 1016 00:54:34,130 --> 00:54:35,881 So, it's a student group dedicated to 1017 00:54:36,006 --> 00:54:39,006 {\an1}mental health awareness, outreach and education. 1018 00:54:40,131 --> 00:54:42,381 Uh, great. This is... it's great. 1019 00:54:44,298 --> 00:54:45,798 You know the Murphys, right? 1020 00:54:45,923 --> 00:54:48,089 - Mm-hmm. - I was wondering if 1021 00:54:48,214 --> 00:54:49,923 you would reach out to them and get their blessing. 1022 00:54:50,048 --> 00:54:52,965 {\an1}Oh, well, I don't... I-I don't, I don't, um... 1023 00:54:53,090 --> 00:54:54,674 You want to help the Murphys? 1024 00:54:54,799 --> 00:54:57,840 {\an1}And all the other people who might need it, 1025 00:54:57,965 --> 00:54:59,257 like people like Connor. 1026 00:54:59,382 --> 00:55:01,257 Or... 1027 00:55:01,382 --> 00:55:02,840 people like us. 1028 00:55:02,965 --> 00:55:04,840 "People like us"? 1029 00:55:06,883 --> 00:55:09,550 Yes, right, because we have so much in common. 1030 00:55:09,675 --> 00:55:10,758 What? 1031 00:55:11,758 --> 00:55:13,508 Well, you're, like, the president 1032 00:55:13,633 --> 00:55:15,383 of a m-million different groups at school, 1033 00:55:15,508 --> 00:55:17,383 and you're, like, part of every single activity. 1034 00:55:17,508 --> 00:55:20,841 And you're, you know, and I'm... 1035 00:55:20,966 --> 00:55:22,759 um, I am not. 1036 00:55:23,967 --> 00:55:25,426 What do you take? 1037 00:55:29,301 --> 00:55:31,551 Okay, I'll go first. 1038 00:55:31,676 --> 00:55:33,676 I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams. 1039 00:55:35,967 --> 00:55:37,426 Oh. 1040 00:55:39,052 --> 00:55:42,468 Well, I'm-I'm on Zoloft. 1041 00:55:42,593 --> 00:55:44,260 Uh, and Wellbutrin. 1042 00:55:46,302 --> 00:55:48,093 And, um... 1043 00:55:48,218 --> 00:55:49,968 Ativan as needed. 1044 00:55:50,927 --> 00:55:53,843 Depression? Anxiety? 1045 00:55:55,261 --> 00:55:56,511 Yeah. 1046 00:55:57,469 --> 00:55:59,553 Yeah, me, too. 1047 00:56:01,594 --> 00:56:03,511 Some days, it's just like, um... 1048 00:56:04,969 --> 00:56:06,636 It's like, um... 1049 00:56:06,761 --> 00:56:07,719 Impossible? 1050 00:56:07,844 --> 00:56:10,262 {\an1}- Yeah. - Yeah. 1051 00:56:11,929 --> 00:56:14,512 {\an1}You know, you don't really act like a... 1052 00:56:15,720 --> 00:56:17,429 ...depressed sort of person. 1053 00:56:17,554 --> 00:56:21,429 I'm just good at staying anonymous. 1054 00:56:23,679 --> 00:56:24,929 Same as you. 1055 00:56:27,763 --> 00:56:30,888 There are a lot of people who feel like us. 1056 00:56:33,013 --> 00:56:35,471 People that you wouldn't think. 1057 00:56:39,138 --> 00:56:41,013 ♪ You ever look at all the people ♪ 1058 00:56:41,138 --> 00:56:44,806 {\an1}♪ Who seem to know exactly how to be? ♪ 1059 00:56:48,014 --> 00:56:51,681 ♪ You think, "They don't need piles of prescriptions ♪ 1060 00:56:51,806 --> 00:56:53,389 ♪ To function naturally" ♪ 1061 00:56:55,806 --> 00:56:58,848 {\an1}♪ Well, look again and you might catch it ♪ 1062 00:56:58,973 --> 00:57:01,182 ♪ Just stay a minute more ♪ 1063 00:57:02,765 --> 00:57:06,932 ♪ There's this little moment after the sunny smile ♪ 1064 00:57:07,057 --> 00:57:11,390 ♪ As their eyes fall to the floor ♪ 1065 00:57:11,515 --> 00:57:14,641 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 1066 00:57:14,766 --> 00:57:19,808 {\an1}♪ Who never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 1067 00:57:20,974 --> 00:57:24,224 ♪ All of those anonymous ones ♪ 1068 00:57:24,349 --> 00:57:28,974 ♪ Who never name that quiet pain they bury ♪ 1069 00:57:30,475 --> 00:57:33,267 {\an1}♪ So they keep on keeping secrets ♪ 1070 00:57:33,392 --> 00:57:36,017 ♪ That they think they have to hide ♪ 1071 00:57:36,142 --> 00:57:38,017 ♪ But what if everybody's secret ♪ 1072 00:57:38,142 --> 00:57:40,350 ♪ Is they have that secret side? ♪ 1073 00:57:40,475 --> 00:57:44,642 ♪ And to know they're somehow not alone ♪ 1074 00:57:44,767 --> 00:57:48,018 {\an1}♪ Well, that's all they're hoping for ♪ 1075 00:57:48,143 --> 00:57:50,518 ♪ What if they ♪ 1076 00:57:50,643 --> 00:57:53,435 ♪ Didn't have to stay ♪ 1077 00:57:54,601 --> 00:57:56,518 ♪ Anonymous anymore? ♪ 1078 00:58:03,852 --> 00:58:07,477 ♪ Spot the girl who stays in motion ♪ 1079 00:58:07,602 --> 00:58:10,852 {\an1}♪ She spins so fast so she won't fall ♪ 1080 00:58:10,977 --> 00:58:13,852 {\an1}♪ She's built a wall with her achievements ♪ 1081 00:58:13,977 --> 00:58:15,852 ♪ To keep out the question ♪ 1082 00:58:15,977 --> 00:58:20,228 ♪ Without it, is she worth anything at all? ♪ 1083 00:58:20,353 --> 00:58:23,978 ♪ So nobody can know ♪ 1084 00:58:25,020 --> 00:58:29,145 ♪ Just what the cracks might show ♪ 1085 00:58:29,270 --> 00:58:35,479 ♪ How deep and dark they go ♪ 1086 00:58:35,604 --> 00:58:38,688 ♪ There are those anonymous ones ♪ 1087 00:58:38,813 --> 00:58:42,729 ♪ Stuck inside the perfect frame they're faking ♪ 1088 00:58:44,479 --> 00:58:47,354 ♪ All of us anonymous ones ♪ 1089 00:58:47,479 --> 00:58:52,272 ♪ Who pick themselves apart till they start breaking ♪ 1090 00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,855 {\an1}♪ And we keep on keeping secrets ♪ 1091 00:58:55,980 --> 00:58:58,064 {\an1}♪ That we think we have to hide ♪ 1092 00:58:58,189 --> 00:59:00,564 ♪ But what we really need is somebody ♪ 1093 00:59:00,689 --> 00:59:02,647 ♪ To see that secret side ♪ 1094 00:59:02,772 --> 00:59:06,231 ♪ And to know we're somehow not alone ♪ 1095 00:59:06,356 --> 00:59:09,106 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 1096 00:59:09,231 --> 00:59:13,398 ♪ And then we wouldn't have to be ♪ 1097 00:59:13,523 --> 00:59:15,398 ♪ Anonymous anymore ♪ 1098 00:59:21,940 --> 00:59:24,066 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1099 00:59:24,191 --> 00:59:26,607 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1100 00:59:26,732 --> 00:59:29,024 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1101 00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:31,524 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1102 00:59:31,649 --> 00:59:34,316 ♪ The anonymous one ♪ 1103 00:59:34,441 --> 00:59:36,774 ♪ Noticed by none ♪ 1104 00:59:38,817 --> 00:59:40,650 Go, Bobcats! 1105 00:59:40,775 --> 00:59:44,317 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1106 00:59:44,442 --> 00:59:47,817 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy. ♪ 1107 01:00:07,359 --> 01:00:08,651 "The Connor Project"? 1108 01:00:08,776 --> 01:00:10,235 Yeah, so it's a student group 1109 01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:13,402 dedicated to keeping Connor's memory alive. 1110 01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:15,735 Um, making sure people that need help, 1111 01:00:15,860 --> 01:00:17,402 they have somewhere they can go. 1112 01:00:17,527 --> 01:00:20,819 I didn't realize Connor meant this much to people. 1113 01:00:20,944 --> 01:00:22,944 {\an1}Well, it's all... I mean, it was all Alana's idea. 1114 01:00:23,069 --> 01:00:24,152 She thought of the whole thing. 1115 01:00:24,277 --> 01:00:25,610 That's the young woman 1116 01:00:25,735 --> 01:00:27,736 who organized the memorial tomorrow. 1117 01:00:27,861 --> 01:00:30,278 - Mm-hmm. - Well, she seems like... 1118 01:00:30,403 --> 01:00:32,195 - quite a force. - Yeah. 1119 01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:34,570 Um, anyways, um... 1120 01:00:34,695 --> 01:00:36,403 we just wanted to do something. 1121 01:00:36,528 --> 01:00:39,278 It's-it's r-really cool. 1122 01:00:43,987 --> 01:00:45,862 There's something I want to show you. 1123 01:00:46,862 --> 01:00:47,946 Sure. 1124 01:00:50,196 --> 01:00:52,071 Oh, here we go. 1125 01:00:53,654 --> 01:00:55,779 It's a bit of a mess, I know. 1126 01:00:55,904 --> 01:01:00,697 We still haven't decided what to do with, um, everything. 1127 01:01:03,113 --> 01:01:06,572 Oh, um... he used to write songs. 1128 01:01:06,697 --> 01:01:08,197 Or at least he told us he did. 1129 01:01:08,322 --> 01:01:10,363 He refused to play for us, so who knows? 1130 01:01:11,780 --> 01:01:14,739 He never played any for you? 1131 01:01:15,739 --> 01:01:17,364 No, he di... he didn't. 1132 01:01:17,489 --> 01:01:19,531 He... No. I'm sorry. 1133 01:01:22,614 --> 01:01:23,739 {\an1}Um... 1134 01:01:34,407 --> 01:01:36,074 Here it is. 1135 01:01:37,740 --> 01:01:40,074 It's a... 1136 01:01:40,199 --> 01:01:43,157 When Connor entered seventh grade, 1137 01:01:43,282 --> 01:01:45,574 all of my girlfriends said, 1138 01:01:45,699 --> 01:01:47,533 "Here it comes, Bar Mitzvah season. 1139 01:01:47,658 --> 01:01:51,491 He's gonna have a different party every Saturday." 1140 01:01:51,616 --> 01:01:53,658 {\an1}And Larry was so excited to take him shopping. 1141 01:01:53,783 --> 01:01:55,408 He dragged him to Brooks Brothers, 1142 01:01:55,533 --> 01:01:58,658 and they picked out a suit, some shirts and this tie. 1143 01:01:58,783 --> 01:02:03,117 He looked... just like his dad. 1144 01:02:08,492 --> 01:02:10,951 {\an1}He never got invited to a single party. 1145 01:02:16,409 --> 01:02:19,952 {\an1}He was such a sweet boy underneath it all. 1146 01:02:21,785 --> 01:02:24,743 Everything just hurt too much. 1147 01:02:27,785 --> 01:02:31,285 I thought that, uh, you could wear this to the memorial. 1148 01:02:31,410 --> 01:02:32,993 For your speech. 1149 01:02:35,036 --> 01:02:37,828 Oh, I'm not... I-I... 1150 01:02:37,953 --> 01:02:39,786 I wasn't... I'm-I'm not speaking. 1151 01:02:39,911 --> 01:02:41,494 Why not? 1152 01:02:41,619 --> 01:02:45,036 Well, I... I just don't think, um... 1153 01:02:47,286 --> 01:02:49,328 I mean, most people think that I'm... 1154 01:02:50,412 --> 01:02:51,745 ...not that cool of a person, 1155 01:02:51,870 --> 01:02:54,579 so nobody wants to hear from me. 1156 01:02:57,287 --> 01:02:59,579 Well, if... 1157 01:02:59,704 --> 01:03:02,704 that's what most people think... 1158 01:03:03,870 --> 01:03:06,371 ...it sounds like most people don't know you very well. 1159 01:03:08,496 --> 01:03:10,205 They didn't know Connor either. 1160 01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:13,580 They never bothered. 1161 01:03:13,705 --> 01:03:15,163 Hmm. 1162 01:03:17,996 --> 01:03:20,038 {\an1}You can tell them what they missed. 1163 01:03:27,581 --> 01:03:29,289 You're so handsome. 1164 01:04:05,958 --> 01:04:08,999 I'm so glad you changed your mind. 1165 01:04:19,667 --> 01:04:24,167 Today is a day of remembrance and reflection. 1166 01:04:24,292 --> 01:04:26,251 It sucks he isn't here to see this. 1167 01:04:26,376 --> 01:04:28,293 The first person we'll hear from this morning 1168 01:04:28,418 --> 01:04:30,543 is Evan Hansen. 1169 01:04:48,544 --> 01:04:50,586 Uh, good morning, s... 1170 01:04:50,711 --> 01:04:53,044 {\an1}Holy shit. 1171 01:04:55,377 --> 01:04:56,794 Sorry. 1172 01:04:56,919 --> 01:04:58,587 Sorry. 1173 01:05:01,045 --> 01:05:04,420 {\an1}Good morning, students and faculty. 1174 01:05:04,545 --> 01:05:07,628 I would like to say a few words to you today... 1175 01:05:09,753 --> 01:05:11,253 ...about my friend... 1176 01:05:12,962 --> 01:05:16,254 ...my best friend, Connor Murphy. 1177 01:05:16,379 --> 01:05:17,463 Holy shit. 1178 01:05:19,296 --> 01:05:21,129 I would like to tell you about the day that Connor and I 1179 01:05:21,254 --> 01:05:24,629 went hiking behind the old Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. 1180 01:05:24,754 --> 01:05:27,296 We found a huge oak tree. 1181 01:05:27,421 --> 01:05:29,463 Connor said that he wondered what the world would look like 1182 01:05:29,588 --> 01:05:33,380 from all the way up there, so we decided to find out. 1183 01:05:36,589 --> 01:05:38,839 We started climbing slowly. 1184 01:05:38,964 --> 01:05:40,797 And then, when I finally looked back, 1185 01:05:40,922 --> 01:05:42,714 we were already 30 feet off the ground. 1186 01:05:42,839 --> 01:05:44,880 Um, Connor just looked at me... 1187 01:05:46,715 --> 01:05:49,090 ...and smiled that way he always did. 1188 01:05:49,215 --> 01:05:51,340 Um, and then... 1189 01:06:00,506 --> 01:06:01,966 Um... 1190 01:06:03,091 --> 01:06:04,507 Sorry. Then I fell. 1191 01:06:04,632 --> 01:06:06,716 I-I lay there on the ground and... 1192 01:06:06,841 --> 01:06:10,132 Good morning, students and f-f... faculty. 1193 01:06:12,424 --> 01:06:14,716 Sorry, that... 1194 01:06:14,841 --> 01:06:16,091 Sorry, that's the wrong... 1195 01:07:14,053 --> 01:07:18,511 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like nobody was there? ♪ 1196 01:07:20,886 --> 01:07:27,012 ♪ Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? ♪ 1197 01:07:28,221 --> 01:07:32,012 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like you could disappear? ♪ 1198 01:07:33,929 --> 01:07:35,554 ♪ Like you could fall ♪ 1199 01:07:36,887 --> 01:07:39,013 ♪ And no one would hear ♪ 1200 01:07:41,888 --> 01:07:44,763 But, see, the thing is, when I looked up, Connor was there. 1201 01:07:47,138 --> 01:07:49,138 That's the gift he gave me. 1202 01:07:50,138 --> 01:07:51,930 To show me th-that I wasn't alone. 1203 01:07:52,055 --> 01:07:53,514 Um, nobody is. 1204 01:07:53,639 --> 01:07:56,598 {\an1}That's-that's the gift that he gave all of us. 1205 01:07:56,723 --> 01:07:58,764 I just wish... 1206 01:08:00,723 --> 01:08:02,389 {\an1}I wish we could've given that to him. 1207 01:08:05,389 --> 01:08:06,681 So... 1208 01:08:06,806 --> 01:08:11,015 ♪ Let that lonely feeling wash away ♪ 1209 01:08:12,682 --> 01:08:18,390 ♪ Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay ♪ 1210 01:08:18,515 --> 01:08:23,807 ♪ 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand ♪ 1211 01:08:23,932 --> 01:08:29,558 ♪ You can reach, reach out your hand ♪ 1212 01:08:30,933 --> 01:08:36,391 ♪ And, oh, someone will come running ♪ 1213 01:08:36,516 --> 01:08:42,142 ♪ And I know they'll take you home ♪ 1214 01:08:44,934 --> 01:08:48,059 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1215 01:08:48,184 --> 01:08:51,351 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 1216 01:08:51,476 --> 01:08:55,351 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 1217 01:08:55,476 --> 01:08:58,018 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1218 01:08:58,143 --> 01:09:00,685 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1219 01:09:00,810 --> 01:09:03,977 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1220 01:09:04,102 --> 01:09:06,768 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 1221 01:09:08,018 --> 01:09:12,685 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1222 01:09:13,644 --> 01:09:18,061 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1223 01:09:19,019 --> 01:09:23,478 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1224 01:09:24,436 --> 01:09:29,103 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1225 01:09:30,062 --> 01:09:32,187 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1226 01:09:43,145 --> 01:09:44,604 Have you seen this? 1227 01:09:44,729 --> 01:09:46,188 People started sharing it, 1228 01:09:46,313 --> 01:09:47,980 {\an1}and now, I mean, it's everywhere. 1229 01:09:48,105 --> 01:09:49,730 This morning, it only had, like, 30 views. 1230 01:09:49,855 --> 01:09:51,355 Well, how many does it have now? 1231 01:09:51,480 --> 01:09:53,605 723. 1232 01:09:53,730 --> 01:09:56,688 2,326 views. 1233 01:09:56,813 --> 01:09:59,271 14,359. 1234 01:09:59,396 --> 01:10:02,231 I don't understand what happened. 1235 01:10:02,356 --> 01:10:03,814 You did. 1236 01:10:05,897 --> 01:10:09,189 ♪ There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown ♪ 1237 01:10:09,314 --> 01:10:10,356 Oh, my God. 1238 01:10:10,481 --> 01:10:11,856 Everybody needs to see this. 1239 01:10:11,981 --> 01:10:13,856 ♪ And every time that you call out ♪ 1240 01:10:13,981 --> 01:10:15,897 ♪ You're a little less alone ♪ 1241 01:10:16,022 --> 01:10:17,773 - I can't stop watching this video. - ...17 years old. 1242 01:10:17,898 --> 01:10:20,023 ♪ If you only say the word ♪ 1243 01:10:20,148 --> 01:10:21,898 {\an1}- Take five minutes. - It'll make your day. 1244 01:10:22,023 --> 01:10:27,482 ♪ From across the silence, your voice is heard ♪ 1245 01:10:27,607 --> 01:10:28,815 ♪ Oh ♪ 1246 01:10:28,940 --> 01:10:30,357 Share it with the people you love. 1247 01:10:30,482 --> 01:10:32,440 - Repost. - The world needs to hear this. 1248 01:10:32,565 --> 01:10:34,066 Beautiful tribute. 1249 01:10:34,191 --> 01:10:36,191 I know someone who really needed to hear this today. 1250 01:10:36,316 --> 01:10:38,858 So thank you, Evan Hansen, for doing what you're doing. 1251 01:10:38,983 --> 01:10:41,858 {\an1}I never met you, Connor, but coming on here, 1252 01:10:41,983 --> 01:10:43,233 reading everyone's posts... 1253 01:10:43,358 --> 01:10:45,024 Evan is exactly right. We are not alone. 1254 01:10:45,149 --> 01:10:46,566 We are not alone. 1255 01:10:46,691 --> 01:10:47,774 None of us. 1256 01:10:47,899 --> 01:10:48,941 None of us are alone. 1257 01:10:49,066 --> 01:10:50,525 {\an1}- Like. - Forward. - Especially now, 1258 01:10:50,650 --> 01:10:52,025 with everything you hear on the news. 1259 01:10:52,150 --> 01:10:53,484 - Like. - Share. - Repost. - Forward. 1260 01:10:53,609 --> 01:10:54,984 Thank you, Evan Hansen, 1261 01:10:55,109 --> 01:10:56,359 {\an1}for giving us a space to remember Connor. 1262 01:10:56,484 --> 01:10:58,192 {\an1}- Thanks to Evan. - To be together. 1263 01:10:58,317 --> 01:10:59,150 - Thanks for helping my mom. - Thank you for helping my mom. 1264 01:10:59,275 --> 01:11:00,650 Thank you, Evan Hansen. 1265 01:11:00,775 --> 01:11:01,734 - ♪ To take you home... ♪ - Vermont. - Tampa. 1266 01:11:01,859 --> 01:11:03,192 {\an1}- Sacramento. - Michigan. 1267 01:11:03,317 --> 01:11:04,150 - ♪ Someone will come... ♪ - Just reach out. 1268 01:11:04,275 --> 01:11:05,610 Thank you, Evan. 1269 01:11:05,735 --> 01:11:06,776 This is about community and friendship. 1270 01:11:06,901 --> 01:11:07,735 {\an1}- Thank you, Evan. - Thank you. 1271 01:11:08,901 --> 01:11:10,401 Thank you, Evan Hansen. 1272 01:11:10,526 --> 01:11:13,651 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1273 01:11:13,776 --> 01:11:16,860 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 1274 01:11:16,985 --> 01:11:19,901 ♪ When you're broken on the ground ♪ 1275 01:11:20,026 --> 01:11:22,194 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1276 01:11:22,319 --> 01:11:24,569 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1277 01:11:24,694 --> 01:11:27,819 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1278 01:11:27,944 --> 01:11:30,902 ♪ If you only look around ♪ 1279 01:11:31,027 --> 01:11:36,319 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 1280 01:11:36,444 --> 01:11:37,987 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1281 01:11:38,112 --> 01:11:43,237 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 1282 01:11:43,362 --> 01:11:48,112 {\an1}♪ Out of the shadows, the morning is breaking ♪ 1283 01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:51,445 ♪ And all is new ♪ 1284 01:11:51,570 --> 01:11:54,321 ♪ All is new ♪ 1285 01:11:54,446 --> 01:11:57,279 ♪ It's filling up the empty ♪ 1286 01:11:57,404 --> 01:11:59,904 ♪ And suddenly I see ♪ 1287 01:12:00,029 --> 01:12:01,946 ♪ That all is new ♪ 1288 01:12:02,071 --> 01:12:05,154 ♪ All is new ♪ 1289 01:12:05,279 --> 01:12:09,947 {\an1}♪ You are not alone, you are not alone ♪ 1290 01:12:10,072 --> 01:12:13,197 ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1291 01:12:13,322 --> 01:12:17,614 {\an1}♪ You are not alone, you are not alone ♪ 1292 01:12:17,739 --> 01:12:19,572 {\an1}- ♪ You are not alone ♪ - ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1293 01:12:19,697 --> 01:12:20,905 ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1294 01:12:21,030 --> 01:12:22,780 ♪ You are not ♪ 1295 01:12:22,905 --> 01:12:27,156 {\an1}- ♪ You are not alone ♪ - ♪ You are not alone ♪ 1296 01:12:27,281 --> 01:12:29,906 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1297 01:12:30,031 --> 01:12:33,031 ♪ When you need someone to carry you ♪ 1298 01:12:33,156 --> 01:12:35,906 ♪ When you're broken on the ground ♪ 1299 01:12:36,031 --> 01:12:38,281 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1300 01:12:38,406 --> 01:12:40,740 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 1301 01:12:40,865 --> 01:12:43,824 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 1302 01:12:43,949 --> 01:12:47,074 ♪ If you only look around ♪ 1303 01:12:47,199 --> 01:12:49,282 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1304 01:12:49,407 --> 01:12:53,032 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 1305 01:12:53,157 --> 01:12:54,657 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1306 01:12:54,782 --> 01:12:57,575 ♪ When you need someone to carry you ♪ 1307 01:12:57,700 --> 01:13:02,325 ♪ You will be found ♪ 1308 01:13:03,283 --> 01:13:07,158 ♪ You will be found. ♪ 1309 01:13:16,493 --> 01:13:17,826 Hey. 1310 01:13:17,951 --> 01:13:19,618 What's wrong? 1311 01:13:21,993 --> 01:13:24,451 Everything you said in your speech. 1312 01:13:24,576 --> 01:13:27,159 Everything you've done. 1313 01:13:27,284 --> 01:13:29,869 You don't know how much... 1314 01:13:29,994 --> 01:13:32,744 you've given all of us. 1315 01:13:32,869 --> 01:13:34,035 My family. 1316 01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:35,827 Me. 1317 01:13:35,952 --> 01:13:37,494 No. 1318 01:13:37,619 --> 01:13:39,244 No, I... 1319 01:13:39,369 --> 01:13:42,160 You've given me my brother back. 1320 01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:33,038 Welcome to the first official meeting 1321 01:14:33,164 --> 01:14:34,789 of The Connor Project. 1322 01:14:39,123 --> 01:14:40,539 Right? 1323 01:14:41,456 --> 01:14:45,206 {\an1}Um, now, as you all know from Evan's speech, 1324 01:14:45,331 --> 01:14:47,873 uh, Connor's favorite place in the entire world 1325 01:14:47,998 --> 01:14:49,874 was the Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. 1326 01:14:49,999 --> 01:14:52,707 I am beyond excited to announce that, 1327 01:14:52,832 --> 01:14:55,165 in addition to our support groups, we will be launching 1328 01:14:55,290 --> 01:15:00,249 a Kickstarter campaign to raise $100,000 to reopen and redesign 1329 01:15:00,374 --> 01:15:03,332 Autumn Smile as the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard. 1330 01:15:06,166 --> 01:15:09,750 Um, so to explain what we're going to be asking of you, 1331 01:15:09,875 --> 01:15:11,250 I'm gonna turn things over 1332 01:15:11,375 --> 01:15:14,416 to our director of global communications. 1333 01:15:14,541 --> 01:15:16,041 Thanks, Alana. 1334 01:15:16,166 --> 01:15:17,500 So great. 1335 01:15:17,625 --> 01:15:19,916 Our new website is now live. 1336 01:15:20,041 --> 01:15:21,834 If you have not yet read 1337 01:15:21,959 --> 01:15:24,959 the emails between Evan and Connor... 1338 01:15:25,084 --> 01:15:27,751 {\an1}oh, you're gonna want to grab some tissues. 1339 01:15:31,501 --> 01:15:35,751 I swear, I've got a Cal Ripken here somewhere. 1340 01:15:35,876 --> 01:15:38,002 Look at that, hmm? 1341 01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:41,043 The entire '96 team. 1342 01:15:41,168 --> 01:15:42,543 There's three Hall of Famers on there. 1343 01:15:42,668 --> 01:15:44,127 - Wow. - You get the right people, 1344 01:15:44,252 --> 01:15:46,627 baseball fans, uh, you could raise 1345 01:15:46,752 --> 01:15:48,877 at least a few hundred bucks for the orchard, 1346 01:15:49,002 --> 01:15:50,418 maybe a couple thousand. 1347 01:15:50,543 --> 01:15:52,377 Yeah, but... 1348 01:15:52,502 --> 01:15:56,003 I mean, you should, you should probably keep all this stuff. 1349 01:15:56,128 --> 01:15:58,919 {\an1}Oh, uh, it's just gonna sit here gathering dust. 1350 01:16:02,044 --> 01:16:04,044 Uh, stiff as a board, isn't it? 1351 01:16:04,169 --> 01:16:05,961 Yeah. 1352 01:16:06,086 --> 01:16:07,169 Well, it's never been used. 1353 01:16:07,294 --> 01:16:08,669 Connor... 1354 01:16:09,879 --> 01:16:11,879 ...he loved baseball. 1355 01:16:12,004 --> 01:16:14,295 When he was little. 1356 01:16:14,420 --> 01:16:16,462 First time I met him, uh... 1357 01:16:16,587 --> 01:16:18,462 Cynthia wasn't sure how the kids would react, all right? 1358 01:16:18,587 --> 01:16:19,795 She was terrified. 1359 01:16:19,920 --> 01:16:22,712 And I was terrified. 1360 01:16:22,837 --> 01:16:24,712 I mean... 1361 01:16:24,837 --> 01:16:26,505 five minutes in... 1362 01:16:28,463 --> 01:16:32,255 Connor's, like, pulling my arm, uh... 1363 01:16:33,421 --> 01:16:35,713 "Come on, let's go play catch." 1364 01:16:37,255 --> 01:16:38,921 He... 1365 01:16:42,839 --> 01:16:45,339 I bought that... I don't know... two years ago. 1366 01:16:45,464 --> 01:16:48,589 I thought, you know, maybe we could... 1367 01:16:55,339 --> 01:16:56,547 So stupid. 1368 01:16:56,672 --> 01:17:00,215 He was really lucky to have a step... 1369 01:17:02,548 --> 01:17:04,423 ...to have a dad like you. 1370 01:17:06,340 --> 01:17:09,882 {\an1}Your dad must feel pretty lucky to... 1371 01:17:11,173 --> 01:17:12,882 ...have a son like you. 1372 01:17:15,799 --> 01:17:17,633 Yeah, he does. 1373 01:17:53,468 --> 01:17:56,510 You know, I-I saw the strangest thing 1374 01:17:56,635 --> 01:17:58,843 - on-on Facebook yesterday. - Really? 1375 01:17:58,968 --> 01:18:03,594 {\an1}Um, somebody had a video of you doing a speech. 1376 01:18:04,594 --> 01:18:09,052 About that boy, Connor Murphy. 1377 01:18:09,177 --> 01:18:12,719 {\an1}How the two of you climbed a tree together 1378 01:18:12,844 --> 01:18:14,552 at an orchard. 1379 01:18:16,511 --> 01:18:18,928 You told me that you didn't know him, but in the speech, 1380 01:18:19,053 --> 01:18:20,762 you said that he was your best friend. 1381 01:18:20,887 --> 01:18:22,012 Right, well... 1382 01:18:23,262 --> 01:18:24,720 ...'cause that wasn't true. 1383 01:18:24,845 --> 01:18:26,095 Um... 1384 01:18:29,095 --> 01:18:30,595 When I said I didn't know him. 1385 01:18:30,720 --> 01:18:32,262 Mm. 1386 01:18:32,387 --> 01:18:35,971 I thought that you broke your arm at-at work. 1387 01:18:36,096 --> 01:18:38,304 Okay, well, who do you think drove me to urgent care 1388 01:18:38,429 --> 01:18:39,971 and-and waited there with me? 1389 01:18:40,096 --> 01:18:41,846 You were at work. You remember? 1390 01:18:41,971 --> 01:18:43,221 I couldn't even... You didn't, you didn't answer your phone. 1391 01:18:43,346 --> 01:18:44,929 You-you told me that your boss took you. 1392 01:18:45,054 --> 01:18:46,554 Well, so I lied, obviously. 1393 01:18:46,679 --> 01:18:49,180 So when were you planning on telling me any of this? 1394 01:18:49,305 --> 01:18:50,847 When would I tell you exactly? When are you even here? 1395 01:18:50,972 --> 01:18:53,305 - I'm here now. - Okay. 1396 01:18:54,639 --> 01:18:57,639 You know, I-I-I talked to Dr. Sherman, and he told me 1397 01:18:57,764 --> 01:18:59,139 - you've been skipping appointments. - I missed one. 1398 01:18:59,264 --> 01:19:01,222 You know those aren't free. 1399 01:19:06,723 --> 01:19:08,890 Sorry. I'm sorry. 1400 01:19:09,890 --> 01:19:12,181 I'm... 1401 01:19:13,890 --> 01:19:16,598 I'm so happy you had a friend, sweetheart. 1402 01:19:18,098 --> 01:19:19,765 I'm sorry he's gone. 1403 01:19:19,890 --> 01:19:21,766 I just wish I'd known. 1404 01:19:25,766 --> 01:19:27,807 That speech you gave, it... 1405 01:19:30,391 --> 01:19:32,641 I don't even know what to say. I'm... 1406 01:19:34,057 --> 01:19:35,891 I'm proud of you. 1407 01:19:38,808 --> 01:19:40,142 Thanks. 1408 01:19:55,643 --> 01:19:56,684 Hi. 1409 01:19:58,518 --> 01:20:00,393 This is a cool surprise. 1410 01:20:02,393 --> 01:20:04,184 Um... 1411 01:20:04,309 --> 01:20:06,309 Can I get you anything or...? 1412 01:20:06,434 --> 01:20:08,101 Just water. 1413 01:20:09,102 --> 01:20:11,560 {\an1}- Just water? You're sure? - Yeah. That's perfect. 1414 01:20:12,560 --> 01:20:13,644 Coming up. 1415 01:20:18,227 --> 01:20:19,310 Where's your mom? 1416 01:20:19,435 --> 01:20:22,185 She works late on Fridays. 1417 01:20:22,310 --> 01:20:24,477 Oh. I wanted to meet her. 1418 01:20:24,602 --> 01:20:27,061 Yeah, that would've been great. 1419 01:20:30,728 --> 01:20:31,936 What's this? 1420 01:20:32,061 --> 01:20:33,811 Oh, it's just my mom is obsessed 1421 01:20:33,936 --> 01:20:35,978 with these college scholarship essay contests. 1422 01:20:36,103 --> 01:20:38,186 I mean, I'd-I'd-I'd have to win probably, like, all of them 1423 01:20:38,311 --> 01:20:42,062 to actually pay for college, so... 1424 01:20:43,729 --> 01:20:45,729 Your parents, they-they can't...? 1425 01:20:45,854 --> 01:20:47,812 Uh, not really. 1426 01:20:49,312 --> 01:20:50,562 I'm sorry. 1427 01:20:59,397 --> 01:21:01,522 Is your room upstairs? 1428 01:21:06,105 --> 01:21:07,813 Yeah. It's, um... 1429 01:21:10,397 --> 01:21:11,647 Yeah. 1430 01:21:19,231 --> 01:21:21,731 Yeah, so it's, like, a pretty standard sort of room, I guess. 1431 01:21:21,856 --> 01:21:23,148 So... 1432 01:21:23,273 --> 01:21:25,106 Hey. Oh, um... 1433 01:21:25,231 --> 01:21:26,939 actually, I meant to tell you this before. 1434 01:21:27,064 --> 01:21:29,565 {\an1}Um, so Alana and I had a really good... 1435 01:21:30,982 --> 01:21:33,565 {\an1}Um, we had a really good meeting this morning, 1436 01:21:33,690 --> 01:21:35,690 {\an1}and I think that... y-you probably noticed, 1437 01:21:35,815 --> 01:21:38,524 um, that, uh, you know, a lot of people were giving, 1438 01:21:38,649 --> 01:21:41,274 uh, during that first week, which is definitely great, 1439 01:21:41,399 --> 01:21:43,732 but, um, it sort of slowed down a bit, obviously. 1440 01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:45,108 But Alana and I are really confident 1441 01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:46,525 that it's gonna pick right back up. 1442 01:21:46,650 --> 01:21:48,900 I think it's just a m... a matter of... 1443 01:21:49,900 --> 01:21:52,233 {\an1}Can I talk to you about something? 1444 01:21:55,858 --> 01:21:57,316 Yes. 1445 01:22:01,651 --> 01:22:03,359 Uh... 1446 01:22:03,484 --> 01:22:05,859 The Connor Project is... awesome. 1447 01:22:05,984 --> 01:22:08,734 It's-it's really, really cool. 1448 01:22:08,859 --> 01:22:10,109 Oh. 1449 01:22:11,276 --> 01:22:13,609 - Thank you. - It's just that, my whole life, 1450 01:22:13,734 --> 01:22:15,234 everything has been about him. 1451 01:22:15,359 --> 01:22:18,860 And maybe the two of us... 1452 01:22:20,318 --> 01:22:22,818 ...maybe we don't have to talk about my brother all the time. 1453 01:22:22,943 --> 01:22:25,152 Maybe we can... 1454 01:22:25,277 --> 01:22:28,652 talk about other things. 1455 01:22:36,778 --> 01:22:38,153 I like you. 1456 01:22:40,778 --> 01:22:44,403 And it's not because you were friends with my brother 1457 01:22:44,528 --> 01:22:46,403 or because of The Connor Project. 1458 01:22:49,237 --> 01:22:51,820 I like you 'cause... 1459 01:22:51,945 --> 01:22:53,820 you. 1460 01:22:53,945 --> 01:22:58,195 ♪ I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you ♪ 1461 01:23:00,779 --> 01:23:04,863 ♪ I don't need you to search for the proof that I should ♪ 1462 01:23:07,613 --> 01:23:11,196 ♪ You don't have to convince me ♪ 1463 01:23:11,321 --> 01:23:15,113 ♪ You don't have to be scared you're not enough ♪ 1464 01:23:15,238 --> 01:23:18,113 ♪ 'Cause what we've got going ♪ 1465 01:23:18,238 --> 01:23:20,446 {\an1}♪ Is good ♪ 1466 01:23:21,447 --> 01:23:25,781 ♪ I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken ♪ 1467 01:23:28,197 --> 01:23:32,947 {\an1}♪ I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget ♪ 1468 01:23:34,656 --> 01:23:38,365 {\an1}♪ Clear the slate and start over ♪ 1469 01:23:38,490 --> 01:23:42,948 ♪ Try to quiet the noises in your head ♪ 1470 01:23:43,073 --> 01:23:46,157 ♪ We can't compete with all that ♪ 1471 01:23:48,740 --> 01:23:50,823 ♪ So what if it's us? ♪ 1472 01:23:50,948 --> 01:23:55,658 ♪ What if it's us and only us ♪ 1473 01:23:55,783 --> 01:24:00,699 ♪ And what came before won't count anymore or matter? ♪ 1474 01:24:00,824 --> 01:24:02,949 ♪ Can we try that? ♪ 1475 01:24:03,074 --> 01:24:06,324 ♪ What if it's you, what if it's me ♪ 1476 01:24:06,449 --> 01:24:10,284 {\an1}♪ And what if that's all that we need it to be ♪ 1477 01:24:10,409 --> 01:24:13,742 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away? ♪ 1478 01:24:14,909 --> 01:24:16,075 ♪ What do you say? ♪ 1479 01:24:16,200 --> 01:24:17,867 ♪ I never thought there'd be ♪ 1480 01:24:17,992 --> 01:24:20,784 {\an1}♪ Someone like you who would want me ♪ 1481 01:24:20,909 --> 01:24:22,117 Well... 1482 01:24:22,242 --> 01:24:25,368 ♪ So I give you 10,000 reasons ♪ 1483 01:24:25,493 --> 01:24:27,535 ♪ To not let me go ♪ 1484 01:24:29,910 --> 01:24:33,951 ♪ But if you really see me ♪ 1485 01:24:34,076 --> 01:24:38,285 {\an1}♪ If you like me for me and nothing else ♪ 1486 01:24:38,410 --> 01:24:40,118 {\an1}♪ Well, that's all that I've wanted ♪ 1487 01:24:40,243 --> 01:24:44,369 ♪ For longer than you could possibly know ♪ 1488 01:24:44,494 --> 01:24:46,369 ♪ So it can be us ♪ 1489 01:24:46,494 --> 01:24:51,369 ♪ It can be us and only us ♪ 1490 01:24:51,494 --> 01:24:56,495 ♪ And what came before won't count anymore or matter ♪ 1491 01:24:56,620 --> 01:24:58,453 ♪ We can try that ♪ 1492 01:24:58,578 --> 01:25:02,203 ♪ It's not so impossible ♪ 1493 01:25:02,328 --> 01:25:05,037 ♪ Nobody else but the two of us here ♪ 1494 01:25:05,162 --> 01:25:08,995 ♪ 'Cause you're saying it's possible ♪ 1495 01:25:09,120 --> 01:25:12,370 ♪ We can just watch the whole world disappear ♪ 1496 01:25:12,496 --> 01:25:17,746 ♪ Till you're the only one ♪ 1497 01:25:17,871 --> 01:25:24,538 ♪ I still know how to see ♪ 1498 01:25:27,954 --> 01:25:29,580 ♪ It's just you and me ♪ 1499 01:25:29,705 --> 01:25:31,997 ♪ It'll be us ♪ 1500 01:25:32,122 --> 01:25:36,997 ♪ It'll be us and only us ♪ 1501 01:25:37,122 --> 01:25:41,705 {\an1}♪ And what came before won't count anymore ♪ 1502 01:25:41,830 --> 01:25:44,330 ♪ We can try that ♪ 1503 01:25:44,456 --> 01:25:47,956 ♪ You and me ♪ 1504 01:25:48,081 --> 01:25:51,248 ♪ That's all that we need it to be ♪ 1505 01:25:51,373 --> 01:25:54,790 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away ♪ 1506 01:25:54,915 --> 01:26:00,916 ♪ And the rest of the world falls away ♪ 1507 01:26:02,916 --> 01:26:05,582 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1508 01:26:06,749 --> 01:26:09,749 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1509 01:26:15,791 --> 01:26:17,833 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1510 01:26:19,167 --> 01:26:21,917 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1511 01:26:22,917 --> 01:26:25,667 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1512 01:26:26,792 --> 01:26:29,708 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1513 01:26:37,418 --> 01:26:38,834 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1514 01:26:38,959 --> 01:26:40,959 All right, let's just start without him. 1515 01:26:41,084 --> 01:26:44,668 ♪ The world falls away ♪ 1516 01:26:44,793 --> 01:26:50,669 ♪ And it's only us. ♪ 1517 01:27:06,878 --> 01:27:07,753 No. 1518 01:27:07,878 --> 01:27:09,128 I'm famous for doing that. 1519 01:27:09,253 --> 01:27:10,253 I've been told that many times. 1520 01:27:10,378 --> 01:27:11,253 {\an1}Mm-hmm. 1521 01:27:11,378 --> 01:27:12,253 Hi, honey. 1522 01:27:12,378 --> 01:27:13,711 Come join us. 1523 01:27:13,836 --> 01:27:16,128 - I just put dinner in the oven. - Hi. 1524 01:27:18,545 --> 01:27:19,836 She made me swear to keep it a surprise. 1525 01:27:19,961 --> 01:27:21,212 I'm surprised. 1526 01:27:21,337 --> 01:27:22,504 Hi. 1527 01:27:22,629 --> 01:27:24,129 It's so nice to finally meet you. 1528 01:27:24,254 --> 01:27:25,712 {\an1}- Oh, hi. - Hi. 1529 01:27:25,837 --> 01:27:27,379 Yeah, uh, great. 1530 01:27:27,504 --> 01:27:29,379 {\an1}- It's great. 1531 01:27:29,504 --> 01:27:31,046 Come on, Evan. Sit. 1532 01:27:33,004 --> 01:27:34,962 I-I thought that you were working tonight. 1533 01:27:35,087 --> 01:27:37,172 Cynthia called and invited me for dinner, 1534 01:27:37,297 --> 01:27:39,047 so, you know, I'm playing hooky. 1535 01:27:39,172 --> 01:27:41,297 We were just discussing how sneaky you and Connor were. 1536 01:27:41,422 --> 01:27:43,922 I had no idea that he and Connor were even friends. 1537 01:27:44,047 --> 01:27:45,422 Oh, we were the same. 1538 01:27:45,547 --> 01:27:46,963 {\an1}You know, boys love their secrets. 1539 01:27:47,088 --> 01:27:48,963 {\an1}Something smells good. What's for dinner? 1540 01:27:49,088 --> 01:27:50,797 Oh, it's chicken Milanese, your favorite. 1541 01:27:50,922 --> 01:27:52,756 Oh, actually his favorite is 1542 01:27:52,881 --> 01:27:54,131 my great-grandmother's black beans. 1543 01:27:54,256 --> 01:27:55,339 Really? 1544 01:27:55,464 --> 01:27:56,673 Well, he's the only one 1545 01:27:56,798 --> 01:27:57,964 {\an1}that appreciates my cooking, so... 1546 01:27:58,089 --> 01:27:59,506 - That's not true. - Uh, another drop? 1547 01:27:59,631 --> 01:28:01,631 Oh, no, no. I'm-I'm fine. Thank you. 1548 01:28:01,756 --> 01:28:04,089 Oh, um, fascinating story about the wine. 1549 01:28:04,214 --> 01:28:06,798 It's from a vineyard in Napa, 1550 01:28:06,923 --> 01:28:09,882 and the entire growing process from start to finish, 1551 01:28:10,007 --> 01:28:11,799 100% sustainable. 1552 01:28:11,924 --> 01:28:13,257 Is that right? 1553 01:28:13,382 --> 01:28:15,715 Not to mention, it tastes good, too. 1554 01:28:15,840 --> 01:28:16,965 - Mm-hmm. It does. - Mm. 1555 01:28:17,090 --> 01:28:19,340 You know, I-I didn't realize, uh... 1556 01:28:19,465 --> 01:28:20,715 {\an1}Cynthia and Larry were telling me 1557 01:28:20,840 --> 01:28:22,382 that you spend so much time here. 1558 01:28:22,507 --> 01:28:24,174 {\an1}Yeah, I... you've been working a lot, so... 1559 01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:26,258 Why did I think you were at Jared's? 1560 01:28:26,383 --> 01:28:27,758 I-I don't know. 1561 01:28:27,883 --> 01:28:29,216 Evan was showing me 1562 01:28:29,341 --> 01:28:32,466 {\an1}all of those scholarship contests that you found. 1563 01:28:32,591 --> 01:28:33,633 It's really impressive. 1564 01:28:33,758 --> 01:28:36,425 Well, Evan is a great writer. 1565 01:28:36,550 --> 01:28:38,050 Well, that does not 1566 01:28:38,175 --> 01:28:39,591 surprise me at all. 1567 01:28:40,551 --> 01:28:42,967 His English teacher last year told me that he wrote 1568 01:28:43,092 --> 01:28:45,426 {\an1}one of the best papers she'd ever read on Sulu. 1569 01:28:45,551 --> 01:28:46,509 Is that right? 1570 01:28:46,634 --> 01:28:48,926 - It's Sula. - What? 1571 01:28:49,051 --> 01:28:50,426 You said "Sulu." It's Sula. 1572 01:28:50,551 --> 01:28:52,509 Yeah, I believe Sulu's 1573 01:28:52,634 --> 01:28:54,426 a character on Star Trek. 1574 01:28:58,052 --> 01:28:59,427 My mistake. 1575 01:29:01,135 --> 01:29:04,343 So, speaking of scholarships... 1576 01:29:05,302 --> 01:29:06,677 Oh, right, uh... 1577 01:29:06,802 --> 01:29:08,968 Yeah, well, I guess... 1578 01:29:09,093 --> 01:29:12,344 now's as good a time as any. 1579 01:29:12,469 --> 01:29:14,553 Uh... 1580 01:29:14,678 --> 01:29:16,886 Cynthia, do you want to...? 1581 01:29:17,011 --> 01:29:17,886 Hmm. 1582 01:29:18,011 --> 01:29:19,969 Well, um... 1583 01:29:20,094 --> 01:29:23,594 Zoe happened to mention that Evan was having some difficulty 1584 01:29:23,719 --> 01:29:27,386 in terms of the financial burden of college. 1585 01:29:27,511 --> 01:29:30,804 {\an1}And Larry and I started thinking, 1586 01:29:30,929 --> 01:29:32,637 and we've been fortunate enough 1587 01:29:32,762 --> 01:29:34,970 to set some money aside for Connor. 1588 01:29:38,554 --> 01:29:40,179 Um, I'm good. 1589 01:29:40,304 --> 01:29:41,970 - I'm okay. - Yeah. 1590 01:29:42,095 --> 01:29:44,430 Heidi, with your blessing, we would like to give Evan 1591 01:29:44,555 --> 01:29:46,180 the money that we set aside for our son 1592 01:29:46,305 --> 01:29:50,221 so he can fulfill his dreams. 1593 01:29:55,888 --> 01:29:58,305 Thank you so much... 1594 01:29:58,430 --> 01:30:00,055 but we're gonna be fine. 1595 01:30:00,180 --> 01:30:02,472 I don't have a lot of money, but I-I do have some. 1596 01:30:02,597 --> 01:30:04,097 Oh. 1597 01:30:04,222 --> 01:30:05,806 No, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean to intimate... 1598 01:30:05,931 --> 01:30:08,306 No, no, I understand, but, um, we do have money, 1599 01:30:08,431 --> 01:30:11,889 so I'm sorry you were under the impression that we didn't. 1600 01:30:12,014 --> 01:30:14,139 And whatever money we don't have, 1601 01:30:14,264 --> 01:30:17,140 Evan will either make up for with a job 1602 01:30:17,265 --> 01:30:18,807 or he'll get a scholarship. 1603 01:30:18,932 --> 01:30:21,723 I don't want my son to get the idea that it's okay 1604 01:30:21,848 --> 01:30:23,265 to rely on other people for favors. 1605 01:30:23,390 --> 01:30:25,182 - Well, it's not a favor. - No. 1606 01:30:25,307 --> 01:30:27,473 But as his mother, I need to set that example. 1607 01:30:27,598 --> 01:30:29,515 You can't expect things from strangers. 1608 01:30:29,640 --> 01:30:31,473 Oh, we're not strangers. 1609 01:30:31,598 --> 01:30:33,849 No, of course not. 1610 01:30:34,849 --> 01:30:36,724 But you're not family either. 1611 01:30:44,308 --> 01:30:45,808 Mom, just hold on. 1612 01:30:45,974 --> 01:30:47,683 No, I think I better get to work, 1613 01:30:47,808 --> 01:30:49,475 see if I can grab a shift now that I know 1614 01:30:49,600 --> 01:30:51,559 {\an1}how concerned you are about our finances. 1615 01:30:51,684 --> 01:30:52,975 Mom, will you please come back inside? 1616 01:30:53,100 --> 01:30:55,017 Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? 1617 01:30:55,142 --> 01:30:57,267 Will you just come back inside, please? 1618 01:30:57,392 --> 01:30:59,309 They think you're their son, these people. 1619 01:31:00,350 --> 01:31:01,350 They're not "these people." 1620 01:31:01,475 --> 01:31:02,809 They don't really know you. 1621 01:31:02,934 --> 01:31:04,851 Well, they like me. They like me. 1622 01:31:04,976 --> 01:31:06,476 I know that that's very hard for you to believe, 1623 01:31:06,601 --> 01:31:07,976 that they don't think I'm... 1624 01:31:08,101 --> 01:31:09,435 {\an1}you know, that there's something wrong with me, 1625 01:31:09,560 --> 01:31:10,893 {\an1}that I need to be, like, fixed, like you do. 1626 01:31:11,018 --> 01:31:12,810 - When have I ever said that? - Oh, my God. 1627 01:31:12,935 --> 01:31:14,143 {\an1}Mom, I-I have to go to therapy, right? 1628 01:31:14,268 --> 01:31:15,518 I have to take drugs. I have to... 1629 01:31:15,643 --> 01:31:17,185 There's-there's nothing wrong with that. 1630 01:31:17,310 --> 01:31:18,476 There-There's nothing wrong with needing help, honey. 1631 01:31:18,601 --> 01:31:19,560 Just stop. I know that there is, 1632 01:31:19,685 --> 01:31:21,144 and I know that I'm a burden, 1633 01:31:21,269 --> 01:31:22,644 that I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you, 1634 01:31:22,769 --> 01:31:23,686 {\an1}and I just... well, I just ruined your life, okay?! 1635 01:31:23,811 --> 01:31:26,727 No. You are the best thing. 1636 01:31:26,852 --> 01:31:29,061 You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. 1637 01:31:30,561 --> 01:31:32,519 I'm sorry I can't give you anything more than that. 1638 01:31:33,977 --> 01:31:36,103 It's not my fault if other people can. 1639 01:31:43,437 --> 01:31:44,353 I'll see you at home. 1640 01:31:55,896 --> 01:31:57,438 Hi. 1641 01:31:57,563 --> 01:31:59,271 I'm so sorry. I meant to be there yesterday. 1642 01:31:59,396 --> 01:32:02,563 Okay, well, we have two days left, and we're $25,000 short. 1643 01:32:02,688 --> 01:32:04,563 Yeah, I just... Everything... 1644 01:32:04,688 --> 01:32:06,188 You're right. I know. I'm sorry. 1645 01:32:06,313 --> 01:32:07,896 Things have been really busy, so... 1646 01:32:10,230 --> 01:32:11,689 I've been wondering something. 1647 01:32:11,814 --> 01:32:13,564 Mm-hmm? 1648 01:32:14,564 --> 01:32:16,314 Were you ever actually friends with him? 1649 01:32:18,105 --> 01:32:19,647 What are you talking about? 1650 01:32:19,772 --> 01:32:22,272 Well, the thing about the emails, it's just that, 1651 01:32:22,397 --> 01:32:24,231 {\an1}like, you and Connor keep talking about 1652 01:32:24,356 --> 01:32:25,940 climbing this tree together in June. 1653 01:32:26,065 --> 01:32:27,023 Mm-hmm? 1654 01:32:27,148 --> 01:32:29,356 We were in school in June. 1655 01:32:30,356 --> 01:32:32,523 You didn't have a cast until September. 1656 01:32:32,648 --> 01:32:34,315 Well, uh, you know what? 1657 01:32:34,440 --> 01:32:36,190 We probably just wrote down the wrong date or something. 1658 01:32:36,315 --> 01:32:39,731 It's not just the emails, Evan. 1659 01:32:39,856 --> 01:32:42,191 {\an1}You've missed, like, three meetings in a row. 1660 01:32:42,316 --> 01:32:44,107 If I were his best friend, 1661 01:32:44,232 --> 01:32:45,899 I would be doing everything I could to make sure 1662 01:32:46,024 --> 01:32:47,524 {\an1}his dream of rebuilding the orchard came true. 1663 01:32:47,649 --> 01:32:49,274 Okay. 1664 01:32:49,399 --> 01:32:51,024 {\an1}Look, it's terrible that people aren't giving 1665 01:32:51,149 --> 01:32:52,774 as much money as we hoped they would. 1666 01:32:52,899 --> 01:32:55,191 It is, but-but it's not like it's him. 1667 01:32:55,316 --> 01:32:56,567 You know what I mean? 1668 01:32:56,692 --> 01:32:58,608 It's-it's just... it's an orchard, Alana. 1669 01:33:02,650 --> 01:33:05,650 We have people watching us, 1670 01:33:05,775 --> 01:33:07,983 hoping... 1671 01:33:08,108 --> 01:33:11,108 {\an1}praying that we can prove Connor wrong. 1672 01:33:11,233 --> 01:33:14,401 {\an1}And if the orchard is just an empty promise, 1673 01:33:14,526 --> 01:33:17,568 all of those people will know that Connor was right. 1674 01:33:19,234 --> 01:33:20,693 That no one cares. 1675 01:33:23,734 --> 01:33:25,734 Did you lie to me? 1676 01:33:30,027 --> 01:33:32,110 Did I lie to all these people? 1677 01:33:38,777 --> 01:33:40,610 Just go to your email. 1678 01:33:40,735 --> 01:33:41,985 Another email? 1679 01:33:42,110 --> 01:33:44,070 It's not... 1680 01:33:44,195 --> 01:33:46,236 it's not another email. 1681 01:33:54,153 --> 01:33:56,278 "Dear Evan Hansen..." 1682 01:33:58,236 --> 01:34:00,279 {\an1}If we weren't friends, then he wouldn't... 1683 01:34:02,279 --> 01:34:04,737 ...he wouldn't have written his note to me. 1684 01:34:07,779 --> 01:34:10,529 {\an1}Look, only his family have seen this, okay? 1685 01:34:10,654 --> 01:34:14,279 You can't, you can't show it to anybody else, okay? 1686 01:34:14,404 --> 01:34:16,238 Alana. 1687 01:34:16,363 --> 01:34:17,697 Okay. 1688 01:34:27,363 --> 01:34:29,030 He wasn't right. 1689 01:34:30,405 --> 01:34:32,156 You know that, don't you? 1690 01:34:52,282 --> 01:34:54,824 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1691 01:34:54,949 --> 01:34:57,532 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1692 01:34:57,657 --> 01:35:00,365 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1693 01:35:00,490 --> 01:35:02,824 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1694 01:35:02,949 --> 01:35:05,658 ♪ The anonymous one ♪ 1695 01:35:05,783 --> 01:35:08,033 ♪ Noticed by none ♪ 1696 01:35:08,158 --> 01:35:10,575 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 1697 01:35:10,700 --> 01:35:13,866 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1698 01:35:17,408 --> 01:35:20,117 ♪ The parts we can't tell ♪ 1699 01:35:20,242 --> 01:35:22,659 ♪ We carry them well ♪ 1700 01:35:22,784 --> 01:35:27,242 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1701 01:35:27,367 --> 01:35:29,659 ♪ The parts we can't tell ♪ 1702 01:35:29,784 --> 01:35:31,867 ♪ We carry them well ♪ 1703 01:35:31,992 --> 01:35:38,577 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 1704 01:35:49,285 --> 01:35:52,244 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 1705 01:35:52,369 --> 01:35:56,369 ♪ Who might just need this moment to remind them ♪ 1706 01:35:58,369 --> 01:36:02,036 ♪ That there are more anonymous ones ♪ 1707 01:36:02,161 --> 01:36:06,494 ♪ They're out there if you take the time to find them ♪ 1708 01:36:14,287 --> 01:36:19,787 ♪ Just to know we're somehow not alone ♪ 1709 01:36:19,912 --> 01:36:26,371 ♪ Isn't that all we're ever really looking for? ♪ 1710 01:36:49,039 --> 01:36:51,789 ♪ Maybe we ♪ 1711 01:36:51,914 --> 01:36:54,456 ♪ We don't have to be ♪ 1712 01:36:58,165 --> 01:37:00,332 ♪ Anonymous anymore. ♪ 1713 01:37:36,250 --> 01:37:37,792 Can you imagine? 1714 01:37:55,710 --> 01:37:57,501 Wh-What's wrong? 1715 01:38:03,169 --> 01:38:05,044 Yep. 1716 01:38:38,546 --> 01:38:39,838 Hi. 1717 01:38:39,963 --> 01:38:41,629 {\an1}Alana, you have to take it down, okay? 1718 01:38:41,754 --> 01:38:43,296 They've been through enough. 1719 01:38:43,421 --> 01:38:45,088 I took it down already, Evan, but it-it doesn't matter 1720 01:38:45,213 --> 01:38:46,463 because it's everywhere. 1721 01:38:54,630 --> 01:38:55,672 Zoe, it's me. 1722 01:38:55,797 --> 01:38:56,922 Please call me back, okay? 1723 01:38:57,047 --> 01:38:58,672 I'm worried about you. 1724 01:38:58,797 --> 01:39:00,422 They have pictures of us now. 1725 01:39:00,547 --> 01:39:01,839 Just put it away. 1726 01:39:01,964 --> 01:39:03,840 "His parents act like they are bereft, 1727 01:39:03,965 --> 01:39:06,548 but where were they when their son was actually alive?" 1728 01:39:06,673 --> 01:39:08,715 Please stop reading them. 1729 01:39:11,173 --> 01:39:13,381 - Hey. Is Zoe here? - She went home. 1730 01:39:29,632 --> 01:39:30,799 Things really aren't good here. 1731 01:39:30,924 --> 01:39:33,257 I know. I just... I had to come. 1732 01:39:34,424 --> 01:39:36,258 Where did they even... How did they get Connor's note? 1733 01:39:36,383 --> 01:39:37,758 I don't know. 1734 01:39:37,883 --> 01:39:39,508 Like, did they hack our computers? 1735 01:39:39,633 --> 01:39:41,217 They hacked our emails? Did... These people are adults. 1736 01:39:41,342 --> 01:39:42,800 Did you see their pictures? 1737 01:39:42,925 --> 01:39:44,050 {\an1}- These people are adults. 1738 01:39:44,175 --> 01:39:45,675 Look, maybe let it ring. 1739 01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:47,967 I'm sick of hiding. Hello? 1740 01:39:48,092 --> 01:39:49,508 {\an1}Yeah, have-have fun with your miserable life. 1741 01:39:49,633 --> 01:39:51,300 {\an1}What did they say? What's the number? 1742 01:39:51,425 --> 01:39:52,634 It's blocked. 1743 01:39:52,759 --> 01:39:54,176 It doesn't... No, it doesn't matter. 1744 01:39:54,301 --> 01:39:55,926 {\an1}That's it. I'm calling the police. 1745 01:39:56,051 --> 01:39:56,968 No, look, right now, maybe the best thing to do 1746 01:39:57,093 --> 01:39:58,843 is to just stay calm, all right? 1747 01:39:58,968 --> 01:40:00,634 - And sit... - That's always your solution, isn't it? 1748 01:40:00,759 --> 01:40:02,051 Wait and see. Let's just wait and see, right, Larry? 1749 01:40:02,176 --> 01:40:03,218 What are the police going to do? 1750 01:40:03,343 --> 01:40:04,551 It's the Internet. Wh... 1751 01:40:04,676 --> 01:40:06,176 Are they gonna arrest the Internet? 1752 01:40:06,301 --> 01:40:07,301 I had to beg you, every step of the way, 1753 01:40:07,426 --> 01:40:08,427 for-for therapy, for-for rehab. 1754 01:40:08,552 --> 01:40:10,177 What? N-No, no. 1755 01:40:10,302 --> 01:40:11,969 You went lurching from one miracle cure to the next... 1756 01:40:12,094 --> 01:40:13,677 Oh, you're... Really? 1757 01:40:13,802 --> 01:40:15,635 ...because all he needed was another $20,000 1758 01:40:15,760 --> 01:40:16,719 weekend yoga retreat. 1759 01:40:16,844 --> 01:40:18,219 What was your alternative, 1760 01:40:18,344 --> 01:40:19,677 {\an1}other than picking apart everything that I did? 1761 01:40:19,802 --> 01:40:21,719 How about putting him on 1762 01:40:21,844 --> 01:40:23,469 one program and sticking to it? 1763 01:40:23,595 --> 01:40:25,386 Remember what he said 1764 01:40:25,511 --> 01:40:27,470 the first time that Connor tried to kill himself? 1765 01:40:27,595 --> 01:40:29,053 - That he's just looking for attention. - For Christ's sake. 1766 01:40:29,178 --> 01:40:30,678 He just wants attention! 1767 01:40:30,803 --> 01:40:32,386 I'm not gonna sit here and defend myself! 1768 01:40:32,511 --> 01:40:33,845 You couldn't understand him. 1769 01:40:33,970 --> 01:40:36,928 {\an1}You never understood him because he wasn't yours! 1770 01:40:37,053 --> 01:40:39,095 Mom, what the hell? 1771 01:40:39,220 --> 01:40:40,929 I raised him from the time he was three years old. 1772 01:40:41,054 --> 01:40:42,554 He was getting better, and you refused to see it. Ask Evan. 1773 01:40:42,679 --> 01:40:44,512 Tell them, Evan. 1774 01:40:44,637 --> 01:40:46,304 Evan did everything that he could. 1775 01:40:46,429 --> 01:40:49,221 {\an1}Evan? Evan was in denial of what was happening. 1776 01:40:49,346 --> 01:40:51,012 Do not bring him into this. 1777 01:40:51,137 --> 01:40:52,221 Read the note, Larry. 1778 01:40:52,346 --> 01:40:53,846 Read what he said. 1779 01:40:53,971 --> 01:40:55,888 "I just wish that everything was different." 1780 01:40:56,013 --> 01:40:57,805 {\an1}I tried. 1781 01:40:57,930 --> 01:40:59,347 - But he was my son! - He wanted to be better! - Please. 1782 01:40:59,472 --> 01:41:00,597 I-I tried everything! 1783 01:41:00,722 --> 01:41:02,263 Stop it! Just please stop! 1784 01:41:02,388 --> 01:41:04,680 - Please stop fighting! - He was trying to be better! 1785 01:41:04,805 --> 01:41:05,680 He was trying! 1786 01:41:05,805 --> 01:41:07,263 And he was failing. 1787 01:41:07,388 --> 01:41:09,513 We failed him. 1788 01:41:10,555 --> 01:41:11,973 No, you didn't. No, you didn't. 1789 01:41:12,098 --> 01:41:13,223 You didn't fail him. 1790 01:41:15,431 --> 01:41:16,681 Read the note. 1791 01:41:18,556 --> 01:41:20,223 He didn't write it. 1792 01:41:26,014 --> 01:41:27,306 I wrote it. 1793 01:41:27,431 --> 01:41:30,807 You didn't write Connor's suicide note. 1794 01:41:31,765 --> 01:41:35,515 {\an1}Um, it was an assignment from my therapist. 1795 01:41:35,640 --> 01:41:37,557 Write a letter to yourself, um, a pep talk. 1796 01:41:37,682 --> 01:41:39,599 "Evan Hansen, Dear Evan Hansen, today's gonna be a good day. 1797 01:41:39,724 --> 01:41:41,307 {\an1}- Here's why." - I-I don't, I don't think that... 1798 01:41:41,432 --> 01:41:43,099 I was supposed to bring it to my appointment with me, 1799 01:41:43,224 --> 01:41:45,308 but Connor took it, and then I guess he must have had it 1800 01:41:45,433 --> 01:41:47,308 with him, um... 1801 01:41:49,475 --> 01:41:51,850 ...when you found him, so... 1802 01:41:56,641 --> 01:41:58,100 What are you saying? 1803 01:41:59,851 --> 01:42:01,392 We weren't friends. 1804 01:42:01,517 --> 01:42:02,892 No. 1805 01:42:03,017 --> 01:42:04,392 No, no, no, no. 1806 01:42:04,517 --> 01:42:06,851 ♪ I never meant to make it such a mess ♪ 1807 01:42:08,892 --> 01:42:11,642 ♪ I never thought that it would go this far ♪ 1808 01:42:11,767 --> 01:42:14,142 {\an1}There were emails. You showed us emails. 1809 01:42:14,267 --> 01:42:18,435 ♪ So I just stand here sorry ♪ 1810 01:42:18,560 --> 01:42:21,060 ♪ Searching for something to say ♪ 1811 01:42:21,185 --> 01:42:22,268 Mm. 1812 01:42:22,393 --> 01:42:23,768 ♪ Something to say ♪ 1813 01:42:23,893 --> 01:42:26,185 Y-Y-You knew about the orchard. 1814 01:42:26,310 --> 01:42:28,435 He-he took you to the orchard. 1815 01:42:28,560 --> 01:42:30,227 That's where you broke your arm. 1816 01:42:30,352 --> 01:42:33,894 I broke my arm in Ellison Park, um, by myself. 1817 01:42:34,019 --> 01:42:36,394 But that day at the orchard... 1818 01:42:38,144 --> 01:42:40,061 You and Connor at the orchard. 1819 01:42:44,353 --> 01:42:46,394 ♪ Words fail ♪ 1820 01:42:47,479 --> 01:42:49,520 ♪ Words fail ♪ 1821 01:42:50,979 --> 01:42:53,645 ♪ There's nothing I can say ♪ 1822 01:42:53,770 --> 01:42:55,229 Oh, God. 1823 01:42:57,187 --> 01:42:59,604 But you said that you guys would talk about me. 1824 01:42:59,729 --> 01:43:01,604 He would... 1825 01:43:01,729 --> 01:43:03,187 How could you do this? 1826 01:43:03,312 --> 01:43:05,855 {\an1}♪ I guess I thought I could be part of this ♪ 1827 01:43:07,271 --> 01:43:10,188 ♪ I never had this kind of thing before ♪ 1828 01:43:11,605 --> 01:43:14,688 ♪ I never had that perfect girl ♪ 1829 01:43:14,813 --> 01:43:19,939 {\an1}♪ Who somehow could see the good part of me ♪ 1830 01:43:21,439 --> 01:43:23,897 {\an1}♪ I never had the dad who stuck it out ♪ 1831 01:43:25,397 --> 01:43:29,189 ♪ No corny jokes or baseball gloves ♪ 1832 01:43:29,314 --> 01:43:31,689 ♪ No mom who just was there ♪ 1833 01:43:31,814 --> 01:43:37,190 {\an1}♪ 'Cause mom was all that she had to be ♪ 1834 01:43:37,315 --> 01:43:41,190 ♪ That's not a worthy explanation ♪ 1835 01:43:41,315 --> 01:43:44,148 ♪ I know there is none ♪ 1836 01:43:46,190 --> 01:43:51,691 ♪ Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done ♪ 1837 01:43:53,649 --> 01:43:58,358 ♪ Words fail, words fail ♪ 1838 01:43:58,483 --> 01:44:01,941 ♪ There's nothing I can say ♪ 1839 01:44:02,066 --> 01:44:05,524 ♪ Except sometimes you see everything you wanted ♪ 1840 01:44:05,649 --> 01:44:07,734 ♪ And sometimes ♪ 1841 01:44:07,859 --> 01:44:10,192 ♪ You see everything you wish you had ♪ 1842 01:44:10,317 --> 01:44:15,275 ♪ And it's right there, right there, right there ♪ 1843 01:44:15,400 --> 01:44:17,609 ♪ In front of you ♪ 1844 01:44:22,484 --> 01:44:25,610 ♪ And you want to believe it's true ♪ 1845 01:44:31,651 --> 01:44:34,610 ♪ So you make it true ♪ 1846 01:44:38,318 --> 01:44:41,986 ♪ And you think maybe ♪ 1847 01:44:42,111 --> 01:44:47,569 ♪ Everybody wants it ♪ 1848 01:44:50,236 --> 01:44:51,902 ♪ And needs it ♪ 1849 01:44:53,819 --> 01:44:57,320 ♪ A little bit, too. ♪ 1850 01:45:13,904 --> 01:45:15,154 {\an1}Zoe. 1851 01:45:24,404 --> 01:45:27,238 I think it's time for you to go. 1852 01:45:59,407 --> 01:46:00,574 Go away, Evan. 1853 01:46:00,699 --> 01:46:02,116 It isn't fair, okay? 1854 01:46:02,241 --> 01:46:03,532 You can't, you can't let people 1855 01:46:03,657 --> 01:46:05,699 just blame you and your parents. 1856 01:46:05,824 --> 01:46:07,032 {\an1}They need to know it was me, okay? 1857 01:46:07,157 --> 01:46:08,366 I'm the one people should hate. 1858 01:46:08,491 --> 01:46:10,949 Yeah, well, we're not telling anyone. 1859 01:46:11,074 --> 01:46:12,532 Well, that's... I... 1860 01:46:12,657 --> 01:46:15,533 You can't... You have to. 1861 01:46:15,658 --> 01:46:17,700 It's not my decision. 1862 01:46:17,825 --> 01:46:19,408 It's my mom's. 1863 01:46:19,533 --> 01:46:20,992 She doesn't want to ruin your life. 1864 01:46:21,117 --> 01:46:23,492 She's afraid you'll do something stupid. 1865 01:46:23,617 --> 01:46:25,575 Like hurt yourself. 1866 01:46:29,658 --> 01:46:32,243 She said they already lost one son. 1867 01:46:36,659 --> 01:46:39,118 {\an1}Can you just... 1868 01:46:39,243 --> 01:46:41,618 leave my family alone, okay? 1869 01:47:09,203 --> 01:47:13,370 {\an1}♪ This was just a sad invention ♪ 1870 01:47:14,745 --> 01:47:17,495 ♪ It wasn't real, I know ♪ 1871 01:47:19,287 --> 01:47:21,162 ♪ But we were happy ♪ 1872 01:47:22,871 --> 01:47:26,287 ♪ I guess I couldn't let that go ♪ 1873 01:47:28,329 --> 01:47:31,079 ♪ I guess I couldn't give that up ♪ 1874 01:47:32,662 --> 01:47:35,330 ♪ I guess I wanted to believe ♪ 1875 01:47:35,455 --> 01:47:37,997 ♪ 'Cause if I just believe ♪ 1876 01:47:38,122 --> 01:47:40,872 ♪ Then I don't have to see ♪ 1877 01:47:40,997 --> 01:47:43,247 ♪ What's really there ♪ 1878 01:47:45,122 --> 01:47:46,997 ♪ No, I'd rather pretend ♪ 1879 01:47:47,122 --> 01:47:50,163 {\an1}♪ I'm something better than these broken parts ♪ 1880 01:47:50,288 --> 01:47:53,081 ♪ Pretend I'm something other than ♪ 1881 01:47:53,206 --> 01:47:55,123 ♪ This mess that I am ♪ 1882 01:47:55,248 --> 01:47:58,039 {\an1}♪ 'Cause then I don't have to look at it ♪ 1883 01:47:58,164 --> 01:48:00,414 {\an1}♪ And no one gets to look at it ♪ 1884 01:48:00,539 --> 01:48:05,373 ♪ No, no one can really see ♪ 1885 01:48:05,498 --> 01:48:09,582 {\an1}♪ 'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake ♪ 1886 01:48:09,707 --> 01:48:14,165 ♪ Before I even turn the key ♪ 1887 01:48:14,290 --> 01:48:18,540 ♪ Before I make the mistake ♪ 1888 01:48:18,665 --> 01:48:22,415 ♪ Before I lead with the worst of me ♪ 1889 01:48:22,540 --> 01:48:24,625 ♪ I never let them see ♪ 1890 01:48:24,750 --> 01:48:33,250 ♪ The worst of me ♪ 1891 01:48:42,917 --> 01:48:44,584 ♪ 'Cause what if everyone saw? ♪ 1892 01:48:48,834 --> 01:48:51,334 ♪ What if everyone knew? ♪ 1893 01:48:53,459 --> 01:48:55,835 {\an1}♪ Would they like what they saw? ♪ 1894 01:48:58,002 --> 01:49:01,002 ♪ Or would they hate it, too? ♪ 1895 01:49:12,211 --> 01:49:16,503 ♪ Will I just keep on running away ♪ 1896 01:49:16,628 --> 01:49:20,669 ♪ From what's true? ♪ 1897 01:49:23,711 --> 01:49:29,212 ♪ All I ever do is run ♪ 1898 01:49:32,545 --> 01:49:37,004 ♪ So how do I step in ♪ 1899 01:49:41,670 --> 01:49:49,755 ♪ Step into the sun? ♪ 1900 01:49:51,380 --> 01:49:57,963 ♪ Step into the sun. ♪ 1901 01:50:32,591 --> 01:50:33,841 Evan? 1902 01:50:34,799 --> 01:50:36,424 Evan? 1903 01:50:45,091 --> 01:50:46,341 Evan? 1904 01:51:03,051 --> 01:51:04,510 Oh, honey. 1905 01:51:10,343 --> 01:51:12,218 "Dear Evan Hansen..." 1906 01:51:14,343 --> 01:51:16,593 You wrote this? Connor's note? 1907 01:51:20,261 --> 01:51:21,719 I didn't know. 1908 01:51:21,844 --> 01:51:23,427 No one did. 1909 01:51:23,552 --> 01:51:25,427 No, honey, that's... 1910 01:51:26,844 --> 01:51:28,886 ...that's not what I meant. 1911 01:51:30,761 --> 01:51:32,802 I didn't know that you were... 1912 01:51:33,969 --> 01:51:36,178 ...that you were hurting like that. 1913 01:51:36,303 --> 01:51:38,553 That you felt... 1914 01:51:38,678 --> 01:51:40,345 I didn't know. 1915 01:51:42,845 --> 01:51:44,512 I lied. 1916 01:51:48,470 --> 01:51:50,762 I lied about so many things. 1917 01:51:53,429 --> 01:51:55,471 Not just Connor. Um... 1918 01:52:00,263 --> 01:52:02,513 So, last summer, um... 1919 01:52:05,304 --> 01:52:06,763 ...I just... 1920 01:52:09,305 --> 01:52:11,889 ...I just felt so alone. Um... 1921 01:52:14,972 --> 01:52:16,430 You can tell me. 1922 01:52:19,597 --> 01:52:21,264 The tree. 1923 01:52:24,306 --> 01:52:26,306 I didn't fall. 1924 01:52:29,390 --> 01:52:30,640 I let go. 1925 01:52:34,848 --> 01:52:37,098 - Oh, Evan. - Do you hate me now? 1926 01:52:39,474 --> 01:52:42,974 You should. You should. 1927 01:52:43,099 --> 01:52:47,474 If you knew who I am, just how just broken I am. 1928 01:52:48,474 --> 01:52:50,349 I already know you. 1929 01:52:51,849 --> 01:52:53,099 And I love you. 1930 01:52:59,142 --> 01:53:01,225 I can promise you that... 1931 01:53:03,642 --> 01:53:05,100 ...someday... 1932 01:53:06,267 --> 01:53:09,642 ...all of this is gonna feel like a very long time ago. 1933 01:53:13,768 --> 01:53:15,643 Ah. 1934 01:53:17,101 --> 01:53:19,143 Your dad, um... 1935 01:53:22,143 --> 01:53:24,476 Do you remember when he drove by to get his things? 1936 01:53:30,060 --> 01:53:32,727 {\an1}It was a few weeks after he moved out. 1937 01:53:34,435 --> 01:53:36,477 Temporarily, we said. 1938 01:53:37,852 --> 01:53:40,394 ♪ It was a February day ♪ 1939 01:53:42,102 --> 01:53:47,103 {\an1}♪ When your dad came by before going away ♪ 1940 01:53:48,478 --> 01:53:51,811 {\an1}♪ A U-Haul truck in the driveway ♪ 1941 01:53:53,478 --> 01:53:58,353 ♪ The day it was suddenly real ♪ 1942 01:53:59,812 --> 01:54:02,729 ♪ I told you not to come outside ♪ 1943 01:54:03,854 --> 01:54:09,396 {\an1}♪ But you saw that truck, and you smiled so wide ♪ 1944 01:54:11,104 --> 01:54:15,563 {\an1}♪ A real live truck in your driveway ♪ 1945 01:54:16,563 --> 01:54:20,605 ♪ We let you sit behind the wheel ♪ 1946 01:54:23,313 --> 01:54:28,022 ♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪ 1947 01:54:29,022 --> 01:54:32,648 ♪ Now it's just me ♪ 1948 01:54:32,773 --> 01:54:35,731 ♪ And my little guy ♪ 1949 01:54:38,064 --> 01:54:42,523 ♪ And the house felt so big ♪ 1950 01:54:44,523 --> 01:54:49,440 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1951 01:54:50,732 --> 01:54:55,232 ♪ The house felt so big ♪ 1952 01:54:56,732 --> 01:55:01,315 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1953 01:55:03,400 --> 01:55:06,233 ♪ That night, I tucked you into bed ♪ 1954 01:55:07,608 --> 01:55:13,066 {\an1}♪ I will never forget how you sat up and said ♪ 1955 01:55:13,191 --> 01:55:17,275 {\an1}♪ "Is there another truck coming to our driveway? ♪ 1956 01:55:18,566 --> 01:55:24,109 {\an1}♪ A truck that will take Mommy away?" ♪ 1957 01:55:25,942 --> 01:55:31,192 ♪ And the house felt so big ♪ 1958 01:55:32,192 --> 01:55:37,693 ♪ And I felt so small ♪ 1959 01:55:38,735 --> 01:55:43,735 ♪ The house felt so big ♪ 1960 01:55:43,860 --> 01:55:46,818 ♪ And I ♪ 1961 01:55:46,943 --> 01:55:50,693 ♪ And I knew there would be ♪ 1962 01:55:50,819 --> 01:55:53,653 ♪ Moments that I'd miss ♪ 1963 01:55:53,778 --> 01:55:56,986 ♪ And I knew there would be ♪ 1964 01:55:57,111 --> 01:55:59,528 ♪ Space I couldn't fill ♪ 1965 01:55:59,653 --> 01:56:03,028 ♪ And I knew I'd come up short ♪ 1966 01:56:03,153 --> 01:56:07,529 ♪ A million different ways ♪ 1967 01:56:07,654 --> 01:56:10,154 ♪ And I did ♪ 1968 01:56:12,029 --> 01:56:15,779 ♪ And I do ♪ 1969 01:56:17,320 --> 01:56:19,820 ♪ And I will ♪ 1970 01:56:22,029 --> 01:56:24,696 ♪ But like that February day ♪ 1971 01:56:26,321 --> 01:56:28,405 ♪ I will take your hand ♪ 1972 01:56:28,530 --> 01:56:32,071 ♪ Squeeze it tightly and say ♪ 1973 01:56:32,196 --> 01:56:35,696 ♪ "There's not another truck in the driveway ♪ 1974 01:56:37,196 --> 01:56:39,697 ♪ "Your mom isn't going anywhere ♪ 1975 01:56:39,822 --> 01:56:42,614 ♪ "Your mom is staying right here ♪ 1976 01:56:42,739 --> 01:56:45,364 ♪ "Your mom isn't going anywhere ♪ 1977 01:56:45,489 --> 01:56:48,739 ♪ Your mom is staying right here" ♪ 1978 01:56:49,697 --> 01:56:51,781 ♪ No matter what ♪ 1979 01:56:54,114 --> 01:56:58,532 ♪ I'll be here ♪ 1980 01:56:59,532 --> 01:57:04,573 ♪ When it all feels so big ♪ 1981 01:57:05,823 --> 01:57:10,783 ♪ Till it all feels so small ♪ 1982 01:57:11,783 --> 01:57:16,408 ♪ When it all feels so big ♪ 1983 01:57:17,741 --> 01:57:20,824 ♪ Till it all feels ♪ 1984 01:57:20,949 --> 01:57:27,200 ♪ So small ♪ 1985 01:57:29,617 --> 01:57:36,159 ♪ Till it all feels so small. ♪ 1986 01:57:37,617 --> 01:57:38,700 Oh. 1987 01:57:44,618 --> 01:57:47,160 It's gonna get better, I promise. 1988 01:58:01,744 --> 01:58:03,994 {\an1}I was never friends with Connor Murphy. 1989 01:58:05,452 --> 01:58:07,744 I lied, 1990 01:58:07,869 --> 01:58:09,494 repeatedly, 1991 01:58:09,619 --> 01:58:12,411 to his family, 1992 01:58:12,536 --> 01:58:14,995 to Alana, 1993 01:58:15,120 --> 01:58:16,995 to all of you. 1994 01:58:18,620 --> 01:58:20,162 I'm not asking for your forgiveness. 1995 01:58:20,287 --> 01:58:21,287 I don't deserve it. 1996 01:58:21,412 --> 01:58:23,953 But, um, please... 1997 01:58:25,578 --> 01:58:28,037 Connor's family doesn't deserve your hatred. 1998 01:58:29,703 --> 01:58:31,163 I do. 1999 01:58:33,496 --> 01:58:34,954 I'm sorry. 2000 01:59:47,625 --> 01:59:50,208 ♪ Spent so many seasons ♪ 2001 01:59:50,333 --> 01:59:53,543 ♪ Lost inside my mind ♪ 2002 01:59:53,668 --> 01:59:58,001 {\an8}♪ Lost inside my mind ♪ 2003 01:59:59,668 --> 02:00:01,918 {\an8}♪ Like a message in a bottle ♪ 2004 02:00:02,043 --> 02:00:04,876 ♪ I thought nobody would find ♪ 2005 02:00:05,001 --> 02:00:09,210 ♪ That nobody would find ♪ 2006 02:00:10,960 --> 02:00:14,127 {\an1}♪ I've been drifting, I've been dreaming ♪ 2007 02:00:14,252 --> 02:00:17,044 ♪ I would land upon the shore ♪ 2008 02:00:17,169 --> 02:00:20,460 ♪ To a haven, to a harbor ♪ 2009 02:00:20,585 --> 02:00:25,003 ♪ That felt so far before ♪ 2010 02:00:26,378 --> 02:00:29,211 ♪ Well, today ♪ 2011 02:00:29,336 --> 02:00:32,253 ♪ Today ♪ 2012 02:00:32,378 --> 02:00:34,795 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2013 02:00:34,920 --> 02:00:38,295 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2014 02:00:38,420 --> 02:00:44,587 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2015 02:00:44,712 --> 02:00:46,879 ♪ Today ♪ 2016 02:00:49,004 --> 02:00:53,754 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2017 02:00:56,922 --> 02:00:59,172 ♪ How long these days of darkness ♪ 2018 02:00:59,297 --> 02:01:02,588 ♪ At the bottom of a well ♪ 2019 02:01:02,713 --> 02:01:07,088 ♪ That old, familiar well ♪ 2020 02:01:08,963 --> 02:01:12,423 ♪ Sitting heavy with these secrets ♪ 2021 02:01:12,548 --> 02:01:14,881 ♪ With nobody to tell ♪ 2022 02:01:15,006 --> 02:01:18,839 ♪ Nobody to tell ♪ 2023 02:01:19,839 --> 02:01:21,881 - Okay, your turn. Come on. - ♪ High above ♪ 2024 02:01:22,006 --> 02:01:23,548 ♪ A streak of sunlight ♪ 2025 02:01:23,673 --> 02:01:26,339 ♪ And a wall too tall to climb ♪ 2026 02:01:26,465 --> 02:01:30,215 ♪ All the reaching, all the wanting ♪ 2027 02:01:30,340 --> 02:01:33,715 ♪ Just to tumble every time ♪ 2028 02:01:33,840 --> 02:01:34,924 I think we got it. 2029 02:01:35,049 --> 02:01:36,632 All right. 2030 02:01:36,799 --> 02:01:39,715 ♪ But today ♪ 2031 02:01:39,840 --> 02:01:42,340 ♪ Today ♪ 2032 02:01:42,466 --> 02:01:44,716 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2033 02:01:44,841 --> 02:01:48,258 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2034 02:01:48,383 --> 02:01:54,716 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2035 02:01:54,841 --> 02:01:57,175 ♪ Today ♪ 2036 02:02:00,009 --> 02:02:03,009 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2037 02:02:12,342 --> 02:02:18,718 ♪ And the days carry on ♪ 2038 02:02:18,843 --> 02:02:20,677 ♪ The clouds come rolling in ♪ 2039 02:02:20,802 --> 02:02:24,177 ♪ And then they're gone ♪ 2040 02:02:24,302 --> 02:02:31,178 ♪ As the days keep coming on ♪ 2041 02:02:31,303 --> 02:02:35,553 ♪ The midnight sky turns to dawn ♪ 2042 02:02:45,719 --> 02:02:51,720 {\an1}♪ Today, today ♪ 2043 02:02:51,845 --> 02:02:54,304 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2044 02:02:54,429 --> 02:02:58,137 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2045 02:02:58,262 --> 02:03:04,388 ♪ Today, today ♪ 2046 02:03:04,513 --> 02:03:06,763 ♪ What felt so far away ♪ 2047 02:03:06,888 --> 02:03:11,221 ♪ Feels a little closer ♪ 2048 02:03:11,346 --> 02:03:17,013 ♪ For today, today ♪ 2049 02:03:17,138 --> 02:03:20,014 ♪ Today ♪ 2050 02:03:22,639 --> 02:03:25,722 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2051 02:03:25,847 --> 02:03:28,389 ♪ A little closer ♪ 2052 02:03:28,514 --> 02:03:31,972 ♪ It feels a little closer ♪ 2053 02:03:32,097 --> 02:03:35,223 ♪ A little closer ♪ 2054 02:03:37,932 --> 02:03:42,140 ♪ It feels a little closer. ♪ 2055 02:04:23,935 --> 02:04:26,768 You must start school pretty soon. 2056 02:04:26,893 --> 02:04:28,768 Two more weeks. 2057 02:04:30,768 --> 02:04:33,143 When do you leave for college? 2058 02:04:33,268 --> 02:04:37,768 {\an1}Um, actually I decided to take a year off, so... 2059 02:04:37,893 --> 02:04:39,602 Uh, just try to save some money. 2060 02:04:39,727 --> 02:04:41,311 Get a job. 2061 02:04:41,436 --> 02:04:44,977 Uh... take some time. 2062 02:04:45,102 --> 02:04:47,436 {\an1}So, I'm taking classes at the community college. 2063 02:04:47,561 --> 02:04:50,436 I'll have credits to transfer in the fall, so... 2064 02:04:51,519 --> 02:04:52,602 That's smart. 2065 02:04:52,727 --> 02:04:54,603 {\an1}Yeah. We'll see. 2066 02:04:58,353 --> 02:05:00,520 I always picture you and Connor here. 2067 02:05:01,895 --> 02:05:03,562 Even though... 2068 02:05:05,395 --> 02:05:07,270 This is my first time. 2069 02:05:08,770 --> 02:05:10,438 It's nice. 2070 02:05:11,771 --> 02:05:13,396 Peaceful. 2071 02:05:14,646 --> 02:05:17,604 My parents come here all the time. 2072 02:05:17,729 --> 02:05:20,938 We do picnics, like, every weekend. 2073 02:05:21,063 --> 02:05:23,938 Lots of gluten-free sandwiches. 2074 02:05:27,772 --> 02:05:29,814 It's helped them a lot, actually. 2075 02:05:31,230 --> 02:05:32,480 Having this. 2076 02:05:38,522 --> 02:05:40,189 What I did... 2077 02:05:42,064 --> 02:05:43,773 ...I can't even... 2078 02:05:47,940 --> 02:05:51,106 It's the worst thing anyone can do. 2079 02:05:58,441 --> 02:06:00,482 I wish we could have met now. 2080 02:06:02,232 --> 02:06:04,316 Today. 2081 02:06:04,441 --> 02:06:06,149 For the first time. 2082 02:06:07,107 --> 02:06:09,482 Me, too. 2083 02:06:13,857 --> 02:06:14,942 I should probably... 2084 02:06:15,067 --> 02:06:16,442 Yeah. Yeah, of course. 2085 02:06:16,567 --> 02:06:18,442 Of course. 2086 02:06:20,900 --> 02:06:22,567 Hey, can I just... 2087 02:06:23,608 --> 02:06:25,650 Can I just ask you... 2088 02:06:27,525 --> 02:06:29,192 Why did you want to meet here? 2089 02:06:35,484 --> 02:06:37,943 {\an1}I wanted to be sure that you saw this. 2090 02:06:42,443 --> 02:06:44,901 He really loved it here. 2091 02:07:00,860 --> 02:07:03,070 Dear Evan Hansen... 2092 02:07:04,445 --> 02:07:07,778 ...today is gonna be a good day, and here's why. 2093 02:07:09,028 --> 02:07:12,820 Because today, no matter what else, 2094 02:07:12,945 --> 02:07:15,403 today at least you're you. 2095 02:07:15,528 --> 02:07:16,986 No hiding, no lying. 2096 02:07:17,111 --> 02:07:19,071 And that's... 2097 02:07:19,196 --> 02:07:20,654 that's enough. 2098 02:07:20,779 --> 02:07:23,696 So no matter how hard it gets, 2099 02:07:23,821 --> 02:07:27,737 even if it feels... impossible, 2100 02:07:27,862 --> 02:07:29,737 this time you'll know. 2101 02:07:30,904 --> 02:07:33,112 Don't let go. 2102 02:07:33,237 --> 02:07:36,697 Just hold on and keep going. 2103 02:07:38,488 --> 02:07:39,988 Just keep going. 2104 02:07:44,655 --> 02:07:53,656 ♪ Today, today ♪ 2105 02:07:53,781 --> 02:07:55,239 ♪ Today ♪ 2106 02:07:59,156 --> 02:08:05,864 ♪ It feels a little closer. ♪ 2107 02:08:53,242 --> 02:08:57,452 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like nobody was there? ♪ 2108 02:08:59,327 --> 02:09:05,202 ♪ Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? ♪ 2109 02:09:05,327 --> 02:09:09,827 {\an1}♪ Have you ever felt like you could disappear? ♪ 2110 02:09:10,994 --> 02:09:13,661 ♪ Like you could fall ♪ 2111 02:09:13,786 --> 02:09:16,161 ♪ And no one would hear? ♪ 2112 02:09:17,536 --> 02:09:21,661 ♪ Well, let that lonely feeling wash away ♪ 2113 02:09:23,911 --> 02:09:29,454 ♪ Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay ♪ 2114 02:09:29,579 --> 02:09:34,120 ♪ 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand ♪ 2115 02:09:35,495 --> 02:09:37,662 ♪ You can reach ♪ 2116 02:09:37,787 --> 02:09:41,204 ♪ Reach out your hand ♪ 2117 02:09:41,329 --> 02:09:47,163 ♪ And, oh, someone will come running ♪ 2118 02:09:47,288 --> 02:09:54,413 ♪ And I know they'll take you home ♪ 2119 02:09:54,538 --> 02:09:57,413 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2120 02:09:57,538 --> 02:10:00,581 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2121 02:10:00,706 --> 02:10:04,039 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2122 02:10:04,164 --> 02:10:06,622 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2123 02:10:06,747 --> 02:10:09,331 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2124 02:10:09,456 --> 02:10:12,789 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2125 02:10:12,914 --> 02:10:15,998 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2126 02:10:16,123 --> 02:10:21,248 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2127 02:10:22,207 --> 02:10:27,082 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2128 02:10:29,415 --> 02:10:34,208 ♪ There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown ♪ 2129 02:10:35,958 --> 02:10:38,416 ♪ And every time you call out ♪ 2130 02:10:38,541 --> 02:10:41,916 ♪ You're a little less alone ♪ 2131 02:10:42,041 --> 02:10:46,584 ♪ Oh, if you only say the word ♪ 2132 02:10:46,709 --> 02:10:50,834 ♪ Oh, from across the silence ♪ 2133 02:10:50,959 --> 02:10:55,917 ♪ Your voice is heard ♪ 2134 02:10:56,042 --> 02:10:58,959 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2135 02:10:59,084 --> 02:11:02,168 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2136 02:11:02,293 --> 02:11:05,626 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2137 02:11:05,751 --> 02:11:08,168 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2138 02:11:08,293 --> 02:11:10,710 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2139 02:11:10,835 --> 02:11:14,335 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2140 02:11:14,460 --> 02:11:17,710 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2141 02:11:17,836 --> 02:11:20,752 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2142 02:11:20,877 --> 02:11:29,669 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 2143 02:11:29,794 --> 02:11:32,752 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2144 02:11:32,877 --> 02:11:40,337 {\an1}♪ You will be found, you will be found ♪ 2145 02:11:43,337 --> 02:11:45,920 ♪ Out of the shadows ♪ 2146 02:11:46,045 --> 02:11:48,587 ♪ The morning is breaking ♪ 2147 02:11:48,712 --> 02:11:55,171 {\an1}♪ And all is new and all is new ♪ 2148 02:11:55,296 --> 02:11:58,129 ♪ It's filling up the empty ♪ 2149 02:11:58,254 --> 02:12:00,504 ♪ And suddenly I see ♪ 2150 02:12:00,629 --> 02:12:03,838 ♪ That all is new ♪ 2151 02:12:03,963 --> 02:12:08,089 ♪ All is new ♪ 2152 02:12:08,214 --> 02:12:11,339 {\an1}♪ Even when the dark comes crashing through ♪ 2153 02:12:11,464 --> 02:12:14,547 ♪ When you need a friend to carry you ♪ 2154 02:12:14,672 --> 02:12:18,172 ♪ And when you're broken on the ground ♪ 2155 02:12:18,297 --> 02:12:20,839 ♪ You will be found ♪ 2156 02:12:20,964 --> 02:12:23,756 ♪ So let the sun come streaming in ♪ 2157 02:12:23,881 --> 02:12:27,340 {\an1}♪ 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again ♪ 2158 02:12:27,465 --> 02:12:30,881 {\an1}♪ Lift your head and look around ♪ 2159 02:12:31,006 --> 02:12:36,090 ♪ You will be found. ♪ 2160 02:12:53,257 --> 02:12:55,258 ♪ Ever look at all the people ♪ 2161 02:12:55,383 --> 02:12:58,467 ♪ Seem to know exactly how to be? ♪ 2162 02:12:58,592 --> 02:13:02,008 ♪ How to be, how to be now, how to be ♪ 2163 02:13:02,133 --> 02:13:05,842 ♪ You think, they don't need piles of prescriptions ♪ 2164 02:13:05,967 --> 02:13:08,425 ♪ To function naturally ♪ 2165 02:13:08,550 --> 02:13:12,301 ♪ Functioning natural ♪ 2166 02:13:12,426 --> 02:13:15,634 ♪ Take a look and you might just catch it ♪ 2167 02:13:15,759 --> 02:13:17,801 ♪ Stay a minute more ♪ 2168 02:13:17,926 --> 02:13:21,051 ♪ Minute more, minute more now, minute more ♪ 2169 02:13:21,176 --> 02:13:25,134 {\an1}♪ There's a little moment after the sunny smile ♪ 2170 02:13:25,259 --> 02:13:27,344 ♪ Their eyes fall to the floor ♪ 2171 02:13:27,469 --> 02:13:30,469 ♪ To the floor, to the floor now, to the floor ♪ 2172 02:13:30,594 --> 02:13:33,927 ♪ The truth starts peeking through ♪ 2173 02:13:34,052 --> 02:13:35,260 ♪ Peeking through ♪ 2174 02:13:35,385 --> 02:13:39,927 {\an1}♪ They're a lot like me and you ♪ 2175 02:13:40,052 --> 02:13:45,011 ♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪ 2176 02:13:47,761 --> 02:13:50,220 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2177 02:13:50,345 --> 02:13:53,636 {\an1}♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2178 02:13:53,761 --> 02:13:56,928 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2179 02:13:57,053 --> 02:14:00,012 ♪ All those anonymous ones ♪ 2180 02:14:00,137 --> 02:14:03,387 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2181 02:14:03,512 --> 02:14:07,346 ♪ They bury, they bury, they bury ♪ 2182 02:14:07,471 --> 02:14:11,471 ♪ Keep on keeping secrets that they think they have to hide ♪ 2183 02:14:11,596 --> 02:14:16,263 ♪ What if everybody's secret is they have that secret side? ♪ 2184 02:14:16,388 --> 02:14:20,472 ♪ And to know, to know we're not alone ♪ 2185 02:14:20,597 --> 02:14:23,097 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 2186 02:14:24,305 --> 02:14:26,513 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2187 02:14:26,638 --> 02:14:29,013 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2188 02:14:29,138 --> 02:14:32,389 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore ♪ 2189 02:14:40,098 --> 02:14:43,514 ♪ Anymore ♪ 2190 02:14:50,724 --> 02:14:53,015 ♪ Spot the girl who stays in motion ♪ 2191 02:14:53,140 --> 02:14:56,474 ♪ Spins so fast so she won't fall ♪ 2192 02:14:56,599 --> 02:15:00,307 ♪ World spins so fast, spins so fast ♪ 2193 02:15:00,432 --> 02:15:02,600 {\an1}♪ She's built a wall of her achievements ♪ 2194 02:15:02,725 --> 02:15:04,391 ♪ Keep out the question ♪ 2195 02:15:04,516 --> 02:15:09,100 ♪ Without it, is she worth anything at all? ♪ 2196 02:15:09,225 --> 02:15:13,641 ♪ And truth starts peeking through ♪ 2197 02:15:13,766 --> 02:15:18,476 {\an1}♪ They're a lot like me and you ♪ 2198 02:15:18,601 --> 02:15:23,559 ♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪ 2199 02:15:26,434 --> 02:15:28,809 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2200 02:15:28,934 --> 02:15:32,142 {\an1}♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2201 02:15:32,267 --> 02:15:35,352 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2202 02:15:35,477 --> 02:15:38,518 ♪ All those anonymous ones ♪ 2203 02:15:38,643 --> 02:15:41,727 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2204 02:15:41,852 --> 02:15:45,727 ♪ They bury, they bury, they bury ♪ 2205 02:15:45,852 --> 02:15:48,143 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2206 02:15:48,268 --> 02:15:50,686 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2207 02:15:50,811 --> 02:15:52,769 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore ♪ 2208 02:15:52,894 --> 02:15:55,144 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2209 02:15:55,269 --> 02:15:57,519 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2210 02:15:57,644 --> 02:15:59,978 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2211 02:16:00,103 --> 02:16:02,311 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2212 02:16:02,436 --> 02:16:04,686 ♪ The parts we can't tell, we carry them well ♪ 2213 02:16:04,811 --> 02:16:09,479 {\an1}♪ But that doesn't mean they're not heavy ♪ 2214 02:16:09,604 --> 02:16:11,937 ♪ Heavy ♪ 2215 02:16:12,062 --> 02:16:14,520 ♪ The anonymous ones ♪ 2216 02:16:14,645 --> 02:16:17,895 {\an1}♪ Never let you see the ache they carry ♪ 2217 02:16:18,020 --> 02:16:21,104 ♪ They carry, they carry, they carry ♪ 2218 02:16:21,229 --> 02:16:24,188 ♪ All the anonymous ones ♪ 2219 02:16:24,313 --> 02:16:29,355 ♪ Never name the quiet pain they bury ♪ 2220 02:16:31,521 --> 02:16:35,771 ♪ Keep on keeping secrets that they think they have to hide ♪ 2221 02:16:35,896 --> 02:16:40,397 ♪ What if everybody's secret is they have that secret side? ♪ 2222 02:16:40,522 --> 02:16:44,397 ♪ And to know, to know we're not alone ♪ 2223 02:16:44,522 --> 02:16:48,189 ♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪ 2224 02:16:48,314 --> 02:16:50,564 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪ 2225 02:16:50,689 --> 02:16:53,106 ♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪ 2226 02:16:53,231 --> 02:16:57,023 ♪ I don't wanna be anonymous anymore. ♪ 2227 02:16:59,312 --> 02:17:00,599 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 164756