All language subtitles for Dating.New.York.2021.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan Download
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:30,320 ♪ Beneath the moon ♪ 2 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:34,534 ♪ And starry sky ♪ 3 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:39,079 ♪ Heaven writes A lover's song ♪ 4 00:00:39,079 --> 00:00:42,124 ♪ Writes a song ♪ 5 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,587 ♪ A reverie ♪ 6 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:49,966 ♪ Of happy dreams ♪ 7 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:55,764 ♪ Midnight comes The nightingale sings along ♪ 8 00:00:57,473 --> 00:01:00,726 ♪ Melody ♪ 9 00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:05,064 ♪ With harmony ♪ 10 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:11,070 ♪ Makes a lover tune ♪ 11 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,784 ♪ The night will play ♪ 12 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:21,790 ♪ Its serenade to you ♪ 13 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:27,003 ♪ Love writes a rhyme ♪ 14 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:30,673 ♪ And gentle we find ♪ 15 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:37,514 ♪ Magic and beauty begin Or begun ♪ 16 00:01:37,513 --> 00:01:41,517 ♪ Dance until morning ♪ 17 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:46,898 ♪ Drift along ♪ 18 00:01:49,316 --> 00:01:53,445 -♪ Listen ♪ -♪ Listen ♪ 19 00:01:53,445 --> 00:01:59,451 ♪ And you'll hear a song ♪ 20 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,920 Once upon a time in a magical kingdom 21 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,879 known as New York City, 22 00:02:10,879 --> 00:02:14,341 in a city that doesn't sleep, but sleeps around a lot, 23 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:17,679 a land of dollar pizza and crowded subways, 24 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,472 there lived two millennials 25 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,559 cursed with the paradox of choice. 26 00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:26,103 Like many stories, ours begins on a phone screen 27 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,940 on the latest dating app called Meet Cute. 28 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,279 She was Wendy Brinkley, a name derived from the character 29 00:02:34,278 --> 00:02:36,739 who dated the boy who never grew up. 30 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,409 Wendy scoured her albums for a photo 31 00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:42,286 that didn't include necks... 32 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:46,499 and cautiously accepted her new destiny. 33 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,922 Then there was Milo Marks 34 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:57,218 and his 77 unread text messages. 35 00:02:57,217 --> 00:02:59,678 To Milo, Meet Cute was just another app 36 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,473 for his dedicated folder. 37 00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:05,351 Milo was a 5'8"... 38 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,729 10? 39 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,856 5'8", born-and-raised New Yorker 40 00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:11,899 who had no shortage of selfies 41 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,652 that he justified as self-love. 42 00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,570 The app asked you a few questions, 43 00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:18,864 then wrote your own personal love story. 44 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,624 Romantically, Milo knew what he wanted, 45 00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:32,044 as did Wendy, but she was too afraid to admit it. 46 00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:34,129 They had nothing in common, 47 00:03:34,129 --> 00:03:37,966 except an idealized version of modern romance. 48 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,803 With their profiles set, 49 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:43,514 they swiped left, they swiped right. 50 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:47,935 But one day, thanks to some magic and an algorithm, 51 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,313 they had their Meet Cute. 52 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,565 They met at a cute little spot 53 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,610 in the West Village called Lylis. 54 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,279 Milo found it on the Infatuation's list 55 00:03:58,278 --> 00:04:01,073 of best bars where you won't run into an ex. 56 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,284 -He never came back from London. -He never came back? 57 00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:06,829 -Never came back. -Does he still have your nudes, by any chance? 58 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,916 Um, what, are you afraid of him leaking your nudes? 59 00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:11,792 -Sorry, that was a weird question. -If he ever did, 60 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,170 I have nudes of him that are not as favorable. 61 00:04:14,169 --> 00:04:16,005 Really? He has peasant nudes. 62 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,840 -What is your baggage? -I just don't have any. 63 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,884 -Wow. -Yeah, I checked my baggage. 64 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,053 -No baggage, no nudes? -Just got my MacBook in a tote bag. 65 00:04:22,052 --> 00:04:23,637 -Oh. -Might get some work done on this flight. 66 00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:25,931 What does it feel like to be so perfect? 67 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,811 Basically, what I tell people is like I'm just like you, except perfect. 68 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,937 -Wow. Oh, my God. 69 00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:33,939 Thank you so much for getting a drink with me. 70 00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:36,233 I don't even know how I made it through my life 71 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:38,902 until this moment. 72 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:42,657 But, no, honestly, I think whenever I meet someone, 73 00:04:42,656 --> 00:04:45,325 I create this fantasy version of this person. 74 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,704 And then the more that we get to know each other, 75 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,124 the more that fantasy just sort of whittles away, 76 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:55,503 and then all that's left is, like, this real person. 77 00:04:55,502 --> 00:05:00,341 And a lot of the time, I don't like the real person 78 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,134 as much as I like the fantasy person. 79 00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:05,888 Sounds like you idealize and then devalue. 80 00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:10,559 It's a very clinical language. 81 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,645 -Spot-on. -Thank you. 82 00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:15,898 -Um, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay? -Wait, wait, wait. 83 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,610 Do you actually have to go or do you just wanna check your phone? 84 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,780 If you just wanna check your phone, we could do a mutual check right now. 85 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,698 -I would love to just check my phone. -Okay, okay, me too. 86 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,702 -I could use a hit. 87 00:05:28,702 --> 00:05:30,871 No notifications. 88 00:05:33,415 --> 00:05:36,168 -Uh, cheers to being single. 89 00:05:37,711 --> 00:05:40,047 What? Sorry, um... 90 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,842 It's okay. I like a woman who ignores me. 91 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,705 Only in New York could you make out 92 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,373 in front of a bunch of garbage and it's still romantic. 93 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,910 They kissed under the stars. 94 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:55,457 And after a perfectly crafted follow-up text from Milo 95 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,876 and an equally witty response from Wendy, 96 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:02,756 they would go weeks before they ever spoke again. 97 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,597 Three weeks and no signs of un-ghosting later, 98 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:14,600 Milo and his friend opted to drink overpriced cocktails 99 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,062 to celebrate someone from college's best friend 100 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,564 from high school's birthday. 101 00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:23,025 Did you hear about this In-N-Out Burger 102 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,070 that they found at a bus stop in Jamaica, Queens? 103 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,946 How did a cheeseburger fly 3,000 miles? 104 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,075 Yeah, that's fake. That's a viral stunt. 105 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:32,576 -That's not real. -You serious? 106 00:07:32,576 --> 00:07:35,662 This is Hank Kadner, Milo's best and most put-together friend. 107 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,208 He is a financial analyst at JP Morgan 108 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,378 who is as savvy with his spreadsheets as he is with his dating advice. 109 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:44,296 -People will do anything for clout. -No, it's not fake. 110 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,965 -Whoa. -It was a pristine In-N-Out Burger. 111 00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:47,257 Who's that? 112 00:07:49,259 --> 00:07:50,344 -No. -Yeah. 113 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,554 -Don't. -That's it. 114 00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:54,139 I'm going to marry that woman. 115 00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:56,558 -You know, you always do this. -Do what? 116 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,895 You point at a girl and you say, "I'm gonna marry her." 117 00:07:58,894 --> 00:08:01,188 So, in the off chance you guys do get married... 118 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,108 at your wedding. -...you can say you said that -I don't sound like that. 119 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,276 You look crazy. Look, this is how you look. 120 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,487 "I'm gonna marry her." 121 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,489 -That's not what I sound like. -That is exactly what you sound like. 122 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,157 -That's not what I sound like at all. -Hi. 123 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,202 Can I help you? 124 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,870 -Um, no-- -That's you. 125 00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:19,289 Why did you point at me? 126 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,876 I was making a point. 127 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:26,338 My friend here, he likes to-- he does this thing where he-- 128 00:08:26,338 --> 00:08:28,132 he points at the prettiest girl at the bar 129 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,883 and he says, "I'm gonna marry her." 130 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,636 And in the off chance that he happens 131 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,638 to actually get married to that girl, 132 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,515 then he can say it at the reception 133 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,349 and it can be like a cute moment. 134 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,144 -He does it in every bar we go to. - Aw. 135 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,353 -So it's kind of-- -Okay. 136 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,731 So you think I'm the cutest girl at this bar? 137 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,110 I think that-- that's pretty fair to say. 138 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,446 Ap spritzes on me. 139 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,907 -Um, go talk to her. -That'd be weird. 140 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,326 -I'm not just gonna go talk to her. -Yeah, go. 141 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,287 -What would I say? -Oh, are you shy? 142 00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,957 "Uh, I'm shy. I'm shy." 143 00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:02,791 That's me being shy. How annoying is that? 144 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,337 We don't have time for that. Go talk to that girl! 145 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,254 You said you're gonna marry her. Now you won't even talk to her? 146 00:09:07,254 --> 00:09:09,840 Here's what you do you. You go over, say "hi." 147 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,801 -Touch her shoulder a little bit. -Okay. 148 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,054 And then lean in, say something funny. 149 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:18,182 Maybe say it quietly so she has to, like, lean in towards you. 150 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,851 -Okay. -I had an ex who I thought I was interesting for years. 151 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,936 Turns out he just spoke really quiet. 152 00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:25,314 That's cool. 153 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,986 All right, I'll leave you to it. 154 00:09:32,279 --> 00:09:33,906 -What's up? Hey. -Hi. 155 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,451 -How you doing? I'm Milo. -Hi. 156 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,994 -Olivia. -Olivia. 157 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,704 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 158 00:09:39,703 --> 00:09:40,788 Where are you from? 159 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,581 -I'm from Texas. -Oh. 160 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,124 A Southern belle. 161 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,210 -Yeah, there we go. -You're in the big city. 162 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,505 Thank you, sir. -Mm, you're welcome, ma'am. 163 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:51,340 -Oh, my God, we're doing accents. 164 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,551 Help! No, just kidding. 165 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:57,055 No, I went to college with, um, a friend of Lucy's 166 00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,264 who's also named Olivia. 167 00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:00,474 -Oh. -Which is fun. 168 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,435 -And-- what? 169 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,648 Do you dress up or you're like, "I don't do costumes." 170 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,942 -Um, I don't really... yeah. 171 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,820 -Do costumes? -I like to wear, like, a fun hat. 172 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,488 Just like a normal outfit, fun hat. 173 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,615 -I have a face for hats. -Oh. 174 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,492 It's so round. Look how round it is. 175 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,618 Just thought I'd come, be a little, you know, wingman. 176 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,287 -Oh, a wingman. -Yeah. 177 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,415 That's fun, interesting. I like what you did there. 178 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,290 One little wing, yeah. Other wing holding him up. 179 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,502 Yeah, he has really bad social anxiety, so... 180 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,877 -Oh, wow. -...I try to help him out with that. 181 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,088 -Okay, that's intense. -Yeah. 182 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,755 -Touch it. Touch it. -Can I? 183 00:10:31,755 --> 00:10:34,049 -I'm giving you permish. 184 00:10:34,049 --> 00:10:37,469 -It's soft, right? You like that? -Yeah, it's very soft. 185 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,847 - Okay. -Oh, wow. 186 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,472 -Get the aromatics. -Breathe it in. 187 00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,516 -Let the wine breathe. -Wow, look at you go. 188 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:46,312 -Stop-- look at our friends. -Look at them over there. 189 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,441 -Mmm, you are dying to kiss my little mouth. -Maybe I am. 190 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,693 I don't have a top lip, but I'm-- I can make it work. 191 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:55,279 -What do you mean? -I don't have a really big top lip. 192 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,448 That might be the best wine I've ever tasted. 193 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,949 Where did you get this? 194 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,369 Uh, it's my boyfriend's family, actually-- 195 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,079 My boyfriend's family. 196 00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:05,664 My boyfriend's... 197 00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:07,333 family actually owns the vineyard 198 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:12,046 that this is from, and it's a rosé white wine. 199 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,635 -What happened? -Did you get her number, brah? 200 00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:20,012 -No. She actually has a boyfriend. - Oh. 201 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,098 -How'd you find that out? -I think I knew that. 202 00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:24,183 Oh, my-- thanks for telling me. 203 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,727 Cheers for telling me that she had a boyfriend. 204 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,480 -Drama queen. -Whoa. 205 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,149 -Or king. -Progressive. 206 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,776 I don't wanna put you in a box. 207 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,112 Yeah, drama king, or drama prince over here. 208 00:11:36,111 --> 00:11:37,780 Okay, stop stealing my thunder. 209 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,199 People should have to wear these shirts 210 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,077 that say "I'm single." 211 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,494 Uh-huh. 212 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,954 Because then it would help us, 213 00:11:44,953 --> 00:11:47,164 know who's single, who's not single. 214 00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,875 So, you found out she had a boyfriend, then you just walked away? 215 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,377 Yeah. 216 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,796 -Serious? -The conversation was done. 217 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,422 -Hi. -Oh, my God! 218 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,049 -How are you doin'? -Liv, how are you, babe? 219 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,841 -I'm good. -Good to see you. 220 00:11:57,841 --> 00:12:00,177 So you'll never guess what this guy just did to me. 221 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:03,389 He walked away because I said I had a boyfriend. 222 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,517 Uh, yes. Yes, I did. 223 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:09,145 Why would you do that? We were having a conversation. 224 00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:11,188 We can be friends. 225 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,648 I don't know if you guys have heard 226 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,734 of this word before-- friends. 227 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,778 -Absolutely. -I've heard of that too. 228 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,405 I think that's a very normal thing to do 229 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,155 is to make friends. 230 00:12:20,155 --> 00:12:22,574 Theoretically, yes, we can be friends, 231 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,286 but we're in our 20s-- I'm sure you have your friends, 232 00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:27,246 I have my friends, I don't really need more friends. 233 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:30,749 I sort of need something a little bit more serious. 234 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,292 You're looking for a girlfriend? 235 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,087 Not like a girlfriend, girlfriend, but-- 236 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,714 Raise your hand if you're looking for a girlfriend. 237 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,305 We missed it. 238 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,857 -That girl Jessie was cute. -Yeah, she was really cute. 239 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,484 -You guys seemed to hit it off. -Yeah. 240 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,696 -She gave me her number. -Really? 241 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,239 Are you gonna text her? 242 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,034 -I think I'm gonna call her. -What? 243 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,327 -Yeah. -You're joking. 244 00:13:07,327 --> 00:13:09,621 No. What are you doing? 245 00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:11,248 -You're joking. Hang up. -What? 246 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,835 - What are you doing? -It's her voicemail. 247 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,754 That's worse. That is so much worse. 248 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:18,131 Hi, Jessie. Yeah, this is-- this is Hank. 249 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,050 -Don't hang up, press one. -We met tonight at Jessie's party. 250 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,053 -Press one, press one. -Not Jessie's party. 251 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,804 We met tonight at that party. You told me to give you a call. 252 00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,931 -Erase it. Pretend it was a butt dial. -So, here I am. 253 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,851 So let me know if you'd like to hang out... 254 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,810 -Do not hang up. -...and get a drink sometime. 255 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,730 -Okay. Bye. -Press one, then three. 256 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,900 -What's wrong with you? 257 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:40,110 -What's wrong with you? -Let me make a phone call. 258 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:43,947 You just met and you just left a voicemail on this person's phone. 259 00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:45,741 Yeah, I mean business. 260 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:49,036 -Is that okay? -No, that's psychotic! 261 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:52,457 I would not do that, personally. That's not my ministry. 262 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:56,919 I wouldn't personally do that, but go ahead. 263 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,545 It's not your ministry? 264 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,423 Who are you, Joel Osteen? 265 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,718 Leaving someone a voicemail-- that's not your ministry? 266 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:26,907 Do you ever feel like New York is talking to you? 267 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:36,500 No. 268 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,218 Days later, in a different part of Manhattan, 269 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,681 Wendy and Jessie took New York's most reliable mode of transportation 270 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:53,768 and floated the idea of never having to be an ex again. 271 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,021 -Look into my beautiful green eyes. -Okay. 272 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,855 When someone says they wanna date themself, 273 00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,399 there's always an ex, okay? 274 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,068 Jessie Katz has been Wendy's best friend 275 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,030 since they met at Wesleyan and both got dumped the day before graduation. 276 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,366 They were bound by their singlehood and love of New York. 277 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,827 Sometimes it's us, sometimes it's them, 278 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,788 but behind every disappearing person, there's an ex. 279 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,876 -Trust me. -No, I hate that. I don't like exes. 280 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:22,004 I don't like being an ex, I don't like talking about exes, and it stresses me out. 281 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,465 When someone brings up their ex, they're just tryin' to show you 282 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,259 that they were once a hot commodity. 283 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,136 -Exactly. -So I should like them even more, 284 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,471 because they have a series of exes. 285 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,349 -Speaking of people you like, what is going on with-- 286 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,895 It was at this point that the nosy app Meet Cute 287 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,021 reminded Wendy of her date with Milo 288 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:42,942 and gave her an idea of how to never be an ex again. 289 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,407 Meanwhile, bored and alone on the Upper West Side, 290 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,869 Milo is catching up on his stories. 291 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,788 Instagram stories. 292 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:58,124 - Wait, is that Jessie? 293 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,303 Until all of a sudden... 294 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,196 Unknowing of what was to come, 295 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,949 Milo met Wendy at a neutral diner 296 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,492 placed equidistant along the F train. 297 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,122 So, what do you think? 298 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,791 Nope. 299 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,459 No, I'm not. 300 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,002 I don't think so. 301 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,796 No, because I'm just gonna fall in love, 302 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,923 I'm gonna get my heart broken, and then you see 303 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,758 how that could be very bad for me. 304 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,178 -No. -You use that word so loosely-- fall in love. 305 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,804 You literally said you were gonna fall in love 306 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,681 with the girl we saw with the New Yorker bag. 307 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,017 Okay, but did you see her, though? 308 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,435 Anyway, where were we? 309 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,144 -We were, uh-- -Oh, my God! 310 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,895 We were acknowledging the fact 311 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,523 that we are both mutually heartbroken people 312 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,400 who want all the benefits of a relationship 313 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,778 without the miserable torture of actually being in one. 314 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,155 Wendy, a couple hours ago, 315 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,864 I thought that you were ghosting me. 316 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,199 I was ready to cut you out of my life, 317 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,744 forget about you, move, honestly. 318 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,120 Then you text me out of nowhere, 319 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,707 "Hey, we need to talk. It's very important." 320 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,375 All lowercase. 321 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,877 You can understand how I'm freaking out, right? 322 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,128 I'm like, "She's pregnant. She's pregnant." 323 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,798 And if you are pregnant, then I'm ready. 324 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,259 Um, we used, like, so many condoms, I wouldn't be worried. 325 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,054 -Thank God you're not pregnant. -Oh, man, I know, I know. 326 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:39,059 -Wouldn't that be terrible? -Whoo! I was freaking out. 327 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,393 -Like, I said I was ready; I'm not ready. -Rewinding. 328 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,647 Do you not want consistent sex without the emotional attachment? 329 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,399 Okay, no, I do want consistent sex, I want that, 330 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,819 but I also want the emotional attachment. 331 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,362 Okay, how about this? 332 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,573 We could be each other's guides, Milo, right? 333 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,283 Like you guide me, I guide you. 334 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,826 I could teach you how to not be ghosted. 335 00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:01,038 I look like I get ghosted? 336 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,122 -Yeah. -Me? 337 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,542 -Mm-hmm. -No. I ghost. 338 00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,043 -I don't get ghosted. -Oh. 339 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,380 You maybe look like you could use help 340 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,548 not dating douche bags. 341 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,884 I don't think that men are as complicated as you want us to be. 342 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,387 You're playing chess, we're playing Xbox. 343 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:18,222 -What? -You're playing chess, we're playing Nintendo 64. 344 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,808 -Who? 345 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,101 Boom. 346 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,815 You've never blown a cartridge? 347 00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,650 I'm sitting here, I'm listening to you, 348 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,236 I'm thinking, and, you know, you seem like a sweet guy. 349 00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:33,029 You seem like a really, really nice guy, 350 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:35,823 but I'm thinking that this is just maybe a bad idea, 351 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:38,118 'cause I'm just being selfish, I'm just being selfish. 352 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,203 I'm projecting my own fears, and I don't wanna take advantage of you. 353 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,997 I mean, you're a nice dude and, you know, it's stupid. 354 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,835 So, we should probably just sit here, enjoy this meal. 355 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,229 Okay, all right, after some non-awkward silence-- 356 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,524 Ah! You've come to your senses. I am so glad! 357 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,774 Okay, let's talk terms. 358 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:15,738 Lucky for you, I come up with this little gem. 359 00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:18,700 This was Wendy's solution to any future heartbreaks, 360 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:23,288 because you can't get dumped if you were never in a real relationship, right? 361 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,877 Here's the brass tacks-- basically, we don't get jealous of each other. 362 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:31,628 And for every night that I spend at your place, you spend two nights at mine. 363 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,297 -How is that fair? -You live with your parents. 364 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,884 I don't. I live with my mom and Larry. 365 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,928 And they travel a lot, so I'm being financially responsible. 366 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,102 I'm not even gonna consider signing that 367 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,646 until you add cuddling. 368 00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,522 -Add cuddling? -Yup. 369 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,608 And none of that on opposite sides of the bed stuff. 370 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:57,654 I need, boom, 75% of the night together, at least. At least. 371 00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:00,616 Separation, that makes me think of divorce. 372 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,202 -I don't like it. -Most marriages end in divorce anyway. 373 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,286 No deal. 374 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,417 Fine! Fine, you can have cuddling. 375 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,670 ♪ We're gonna cuddle I'ma be big spoon ♪ 376 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:16,007 ♪ Sometimes little spoon 'Cause I like feelin' safe ♪ 377 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,385 -♪ What? ♪ -You have a nice voice and we can sing later. 378 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,843 You have to ad lib. 379 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,596 -♪ What? ♪ -I don't know. 380 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:24,349 -Okay, go on, go on, go on. Go. -Okay, one more thing. 381 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,933 -This is very important. -Mm-hmm. 382 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,394 The words "I love you," in that order, 383 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:31,355 cannot be shared with one party to the other 384 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,440 unless they are used in a non-affectionate way. 385 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,318 What does this mean? Let me explain it to you. 386 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,111 Any example of that exemption would be 387 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,905 if we were to impersonate someone 388 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:42,157 or if we use it in a sarcastic and/or educational 389 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:44,201 and/or non-truthful tone. 390 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,578 Does that make sense? 391 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,831 -Okay. -We shake. 392 00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,418 And so, once upon a time, in New York City, 393 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,421 Milo and Wendy's non-love story finally began. 394 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,466 -Everything was perfect. 395 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,053 This is going to end with one of you guys getting your heart broken. 396 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,097 No, we're not, because we're being really open 397 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,556 and transparent about the whole thing. 398 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:07,100 We're not playing any games. 399 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,476 Okay, but in the entire history of romance, 400 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:13,231 whenever two people start sleeping together, like, it gets complicated. 401 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,650 That's why we did the contract, so we know what we can and cannot do. 402 00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,987 We set boundaries, so no one's heart's getting broken. 403 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:22,490 Yeah, the contract that establishes you guys as friends with benefits? 404 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,409 Oh... 405 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:26,453 This is going to end poorly for you, my friend. 406 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:29,038 Look, it's not like we were friends, you know, 407 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,622 and then we started sleeping together, 408 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,334 and now we're reverting back to friendship. 409 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,919 It's like, you know, we started with sex, 410 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:37,255 and now we're turning that into a very beautiful 411 00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:40,717 and respectful friendship with sex. 412 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,552 Here's where I think it's gonna go, okay? 413 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:45,387 Act one, inciting incident-- you sign the contract. 414 00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,973 You're laughing, laughing, laughing, having amazing sex. 415 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,309 Congratulations. Having the time of your life. 416 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,852 You start to get some inside jokes. 417 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,688 "I'm hilarious." 418 00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:55,440 That's my impression of you in this fun relationship. 419 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,192 Act two-- fun and games. 420 00:21:57,192 --> 00:21:59,235 You guys start to have the perks of a relationship 421 00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:01,612 without actually having to deal with being in a relationship, 422 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:04,908 because being in a relationship is famously hell on Earth. 423 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,534 And then act three-- one of you randomly decides 424 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,412 you do actually want to be in a relationship... 425 00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,664 And then, yeah, boom, movie's done. 426 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,624 I don't believe in traditional three-act structure. 427 00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,584 Not every movie needs three acts. 428 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:18,421 Some are just one honeymoon act. 429 00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:20,590 It's kind of risk-free and there's ultimately-- 430 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,050 it's just like me wearing the pants, which is kinda nice. 431 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,468 But does he know that? 432 00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:26,471 Plus, I think she's as in love with me 433 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:30,475 as I am with her, so it's gonna work out. 434 00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:35,355 And the friends that I was talking about, 435 00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:41,236 they got back together and, uh, were confused. 436 00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:43,655 They were confused as to why they got back together. 437 00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,781 And they were like, "Oh, we don't know 438 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,117 how we got back together after all this time." 439 00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,535 They were apart three years. 440 00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,246 They weren't together for three years. 441 00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,998 They get back together, and then they're asking me like, 442 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,751 "What do you think it was?" I'm like, "I know what it was. 443 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,044 It was roll-over feelings. 444 00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:02,549 Which is when you're in a relationship, 445 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,634 you got feelings, you got the relationship planned, 446 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,470 hoping it's gonna be a family plan, right? 447 00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:13,308 Then you break up, but then you get back together 448 00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:16,729 with those same minutes from that phone 449 00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:18,732 and it's like same phone. 450 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,149 Who this? 451 00:23:20,150 --> 00:23:24,446 Whoo! Amazing! 452 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:27,865 -I think I'm gonna marry her. - Because she laughed at your jokes? 453 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,742 I don't think her mom likes me, though. 454 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,910 - You met her mom? -Yeah, accidentally. 455 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,413 - How? -Bloomie's. 456 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:35,331 What were you doing at Bloomingdale's? 457 00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:37,833 -I was getting free cologne. -You're stealing cologne now? 458 00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,669 No, you just walk in, 459 00:23:39,669 --> 00:23:42,213 and then you get your free sample, and then you go. 460 00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:45,257 -Anyway, I see Wendy's mom. -Wait, Wendy wasn't there? 461 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,469 No, but I recognize her mom from her Instagram. 462 00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:49,512 -Cool. -So, I go over to say hello. 463 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,764 So I walk up to her and I'm like, "Oh, hello." 464 00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:53,975 And then she's like, "Uh, who are you?" 465 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:56,185 I'm like, "Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm Milo. 466 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:59,146 I met Wendy on a dating app and we're sort of friends now. 467 00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:00,647 You're Wendy's mom, right?" 468 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:02,191 She's like, "Yeah, yeah, indeed I am. 469 00:24:02,192 --> 00:24:04,694 I don't know who you are." 470 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,570 She didn't know who I was. 471 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:11,241 So that either means that A, Wendy did tell her about me 472 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,286 and she doesn't like me, so she's trying to neg me 473 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,122 by acting like she doesn't know who I am 474 00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:21,836 or Wendy didn't tell her, because she takes me as a joke. 475 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:24,839 -Wait, do we care what Wendy's mom thinks? -Yes. 476 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:28,592 I mean, I want Wendy to like me, so I want her mom to like me. 477 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:32,430 Okay, never underestimate the will of a girl 478 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:35,600 to disrespect her parents' wishes, okay? 479 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,393 Make sure you get my T-zone. 480 00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:39,145 I've been told it's very oily. 481 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,897 Ooh, did I tell you that I broke up with Katie 7F? 482 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,608 What? I didn't even know that you were dating her. 483 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,527 You're already breaking up with her? 484 00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,905 Katie 7F grew up on the seventh floor 485 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,448 in apartment letter F in Milo's building. 486 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:54,786 They rediscovered each other sexually after a romantic elevator ride 487 00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:58,206 wherein Milo AirDropped his phone number to her phone, 488 00:24:58,205 --> 00:24:59,665 by mistake, of course. 489 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:10,092 - That's a good one, yeah. 490 00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:12,095 Is that gonna make it to your Instagram? 491 00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:13,722 What? 492 00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:16,682 Is it just gonna make it to your grid? 493 00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:18,976 'Cause I'm usually in your story, which is dope, 494 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:21,563 love that, just hoping that, you know, 495 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:25,025 maybe we can make the next step, go to the grid. 496 00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:26,401 What do you mean? 497 00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:29,821 I've posted you on Instagram before. 498 00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:32,031 -No, you haven't. -Yes, I have! 499 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:35,909 That one time we were in Maine at that ice cream store, Scoop Du Jour. 500 00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:37,454 We had mousse vanilla. 501 00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:39,496 I remember you posted the ice cream cone 502 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:41,708 and then you tagged me 503 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,084 in the photo of the ice cream cone. 504 00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:45,587 No, your name was in the photo. 505 00:25:45,586 --> 00:25:48,047 Okay, that's not my face, though, 506 00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:50,175 that's my Instagram handle. 507 00:25:51,384 --> 00:25:53,678 Well, what do you mean? 508 00:25:53,678 --> 00:25:56,306 People are gonna be like, "Oh, he made that ice cream for her." 509 00:25:56,306 --> 00:26:00,602 I didn't. I was there, took the train up with you. 510 00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:02,687 -Do you not get that? -Yes. 511 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:04,438 -You do get that? -I-- 512 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:05,690 So you know, but you're just ashamed. 513 00:26:06,316 --> 00:26:07,984 No, it was on my Instagram. I don't understand the problem. 514 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:10,152 -We should break up. -Serious? 515 00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:12,364 Yeah! I think we should break up. 516 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:14,866 -Actions speak louder than captions! -Please stop yelling at me! 517 00:26:14,865 --> 00:26:18,285 It's really nice, because I realize the role that I play 518 00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:21,873 is I'm sort of like this between-relationship doula for women. 519 00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,583 Am I not present with you right now? 520 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,126 You're screaming at me in the middle of the park! 521 00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,710 -I'm not screaming at you! -Yes, you are! 522 00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:28,254 No, I was tryin' to have a conversation with you! 523 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,880 This is so embarrassing! 524 00:26:29,881 --> 00:26:31,758 So they could go from, like, one guy, 525 00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:33,718 improve themselves, and then go on to the next guy. 526 00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:36,179 I'm sort of like a manic pixie dream boy in that way. 527 00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:37,931 I think we need to just break up with each other. 528 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,599 -What? -I think it's over. 529 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,850 You're obsessed with Instagram, with social media. 530 00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:43,770 I'm not obsessed. 531 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:45,646 You have a sick obsession with how people think about you. 532 00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:46,980 What are you talking about? 533 00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:48,399 It's like, "Damn, you're awesome, 534 00:26:48,692 --> 00:26:51,403 but Wendy, she's uh-- she's the one, you know?" 535 00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:52,904 -Right... -Or at least I think. 536 00:26:52,903 --> 00:26:54,196 -I don't know. -Yeah. 537 00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:56,281 So, it's over, 538 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:58,450 because she wouldn't post a picture of you two? 539 00:26:58,451 --> 00:26:59,577 Yeah. 540 00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:01,161 I think that she was embarrassed 541 00:27:01,162 --> 00:27:03,039 to have people know that we were dating. 542 00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,748 -Hmm. -I know. 543 00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:07,544 So I had to break up with her. Had to do it. 544 00:27:07,544 --> 00:27:09,963 Oh, don't be rude to my friend Milo. 545 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:12,673 Oh. Yeah... I don't know. 546 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:15,551 Over before it started, on to the next one, 547 00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:17,970 which is the name of my dating podcast, by the way. 548 00:27:17,971 --> 00:27:20,807 -The one you haven't started yet? -We're looking for guests. 549 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,642 I don't know if it's about dating yet. 550 00:27:22,642 --> 00:27:24,185 It might just be about life, but if you wanna come on, 551 00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:25,436 talk about any guys that you're dating, 552 00:27:25,436 --> 00:27:27,521 that you might really like. 553 00:27:27,521 --> 00:27:29,690 If it is, can you talk about people who break up with you, 554 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:31,401 and then still follow you on Instagram, 555 00:27:31,401 --> 00:27:33,361 and like all your photos and your pictures? 556 00:27:33,361 --> 00:27:35,280 Orbiters. They're orbiting you. 557 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:38,032 -What do they do? -They're orbiting, you know, like... 558 00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,825 Oh, my God, you're gonna poke my eye out! 559 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:42,078 -Stop, stop. I get it, I get it. -Okay, whoa. 560 00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,788 All right, but there was this New York Times article that I sent you. 561 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:47,041 I don't read any of the articles that you send me. 562 00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:49,501 -You never read any of the articles that I send you? -Who has time? 563 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,378 -You know what really does annoy me, though? -Hmm? 564 00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:53,839 I hate it when someone posts something 565 00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:56,133 and you can really tell that they're trying 566 00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:59,012 -to get under your skin, you know? -Mm-hmm. 567 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:02,639 They'll post something at a place that was special to the both of you. 568 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,352 And then it's like, "Oh, who's this new person? 569 00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:07,145 They just invited some new person." 570 00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:09,688 -Yep. -And they're at Shakespeare in the Park 571 00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:13,401 and they're just having a great time at Shakespeare in the Park 572 00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:15,528 with some guy probably named Greg or something, 573 00:28:15,528 --> 00:28:17,447 who works in finance and is a loser. 574 00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:21,784 That is honestly called "targeted offensive orbiting," 575 00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:23,536 and it is a serious problem. 576 00:28:23,536 --> 00:28:26,122 It's like a lighthouse in the deep, dark sea of emotion 577 00:28:26,122 --> 00:28:27,832 that's tryin' to get the boat back to the dock. 578 00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:30,210 It's literally someone going, "Hey, look at me. 579 00:28:30,210 --> 00:28:32,253 I'm recreating this experience that we had together 580 00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:34,546 with someone else, and I am happier doing it. 581 00:28:34,547 --> 00:28:36,091 Ha ha ha ha ha." 582 00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:37,966 It's like a foghorn. 583 00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:40,595 -It's... - Foghorning! Yes! 584 00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:42,681 -Okay, that was good. -Oh, my God, okay. 585 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,774 I need some time. 586 00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:56,069 -I'm almost ready, I'm almost ready. -Silence is boring. 587 00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:59,029 Shh, hurry up. Are you ready? 588 00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:00,739 I'm ready. What are your thoughts? 589 00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:04,577 I thought that was funny, but it could be shorter. 590 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,120 I thought it was really long. 591 00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:08,373 But it was funny, though. It was funny. 592 00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:10,083 Okay, okay. 593 00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:14,421 I am still trying to figure out what the movie's about. 594 00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:16,464 Does it have to be about something? 595 00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:18,841 It's about a dude that turns into a dog. 596 00:29:18,842 --> 00:29:21,344 I'm trying to think of what the movie's trying to say, 597 00:29:21,344 --> 00:29:23,847 because that's just such a basic plot point. 598 00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:25,347 A guy turning into a dog? 599 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:26,974 It's saying that, wow, isn't it crazy 600 00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:28,517 when someone turns into a dog? 601 00:29:28,518 --> 00:29:30,228 I feel like that's what they're saying. 602 00:29:30,228 --> 00:29:31,855 No, art is art because it lets us feel something. 603 00:29:31,855 --> 00:29:33,231 Here's my gist. 604 00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:34,815 I think it's about parenthood 605 00:29:34,816 --> 00:29:36,568 and how it's difficult to raise a child, 606 00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:38,402 because we really take advantage of the little moments 607 00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:41,573 and how we need to savor life a little bit more. 608 00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:43,324 That's just off the top of my head. 609 00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:44,909 -I need more time to think. -That was smart. 610 00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:46,703 -Thank you. -You're making me a cinephile. 611 00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:48,662 -I know. -That was good. 612 00:29:48,663 --> 00:29:50,832 What if we were a movie? What would our movie be? 613 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:55,086 Oh, my God, I think it would be like a slasher horror film 614 00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:56,755 where Denzel Washington plays you 615 00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:58,381 -and Margot Robbie plays me. -Okay. 616 00:29:58,381 --> 00:30:00,425 And we both get gutted and die together. 617 00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:02,051 And then we have to solve our own murders. 618 00:30:02,051 --> 00:30:03,510 And then we come alive in different universes 619 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,137 and solve who murdered each of us. 620 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,264 I like the different universe aspect of it. 621 00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:09,100 -That's nice. -Yeah, and then we-- exactly. 622 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:11,560 And then we, and then we, and then we. 623 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,103 -Stop, stop, stop! -And then we-- 624 00:30:13,104 --> 00:30:15,857 -Clever, but, no. -No? No hand holding? 625 00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:18,108 Why? No! Do you want my social too? 626 00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:20,110 -Yeah, that'd be nice. -I'll give you all my credit card numbers. 627 00:30:20,111 --> 00:30:23,198 Honestly, I would love that. You pay for dinner anyway, so. 628 00:30:23,198 --> 00:30:24,324 -That's true. 629 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:28,369 So what about holding hands makes you uncomfortable? 630 00:30:28,369 --> 00:30:30,371 That's Milo's doorman Cole. 631 00:30:30,372 --> 00:30:33,124 I hear he's a really handsome and charming guy. 632 00:30:33,124 --> 00:30:35,794 -Well, he's not my boyfriend, so why would he hold my hand? -Right. 633 00:30:35,794 --> 00:30:38,505 -Can you guys go on dates with other people? - Duh. 634 00:30:38,505 --> 00:30:39,964 -That's the whole point. -Why not? 635 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,173 Who pays for dinner? 636 00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:42,508 -She does. -We split it. 637 00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,803 -Hmm, no. -Excuse me? 638 00:30:44,803 --> 00:30:46,471 -You do. 639 00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:48,640 I literally have sent you, like, 50 Venmo requests, 640 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,893 and they're all sitting there, and I am being a gentle woman 641 00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,895 by not reminding you that they are there. 642 00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:58,982 Okay, I got one more very, very important question. 643 00:31:03,113 --> 00:31:04,364 Hang on. 644 00:31:04,364 --> 00:31:05,365 Hi. 645 00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:08,701 Sorry about that. Uh, who are you here to see? 646 00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:10,619 -7F? What's your name? -Brian. 647 00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:13,664 -Brian, all right. -Okay, he's also totally lying 648 00:31:13,664 --> 00:31:15,874 -about not telling people's business. -Oh, my God. 649 00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:19,379 He was the person that told me my parents were having an affair. 650 00:31:19,378 --> 00:31:21,046 -Stop! -Yeah. 651 00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:23,299 -That's unreal. -I know. 652 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,843 -I'm sorry! -It's totally unreal because I'm just messing with you. 653 00:31:25,844 --> 00:31:27,387 -That didn't really happen. -Are you kidding? 654 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:30,180 Sorry about that. Where were we? 655 00:31:30,181 --> 00:31:31,599 Important question. Ready? 656 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:39,898 What happens when one of you catches feelings? 657 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:43,694 Uh, you mean if one of us catches feelings? 658 00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:52,828 Yeah, yeah, if. 659 00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:56,248 No, no, I mean when. 660 00:31:56,249 --> 00:31:58,668 It's never if. 661 00:31:58,667 --> 00:31:59,835 It's never, ever if. 662 00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:02,589 It's-- it's always when. 663 00:32:06,259 --> 00:32:08,636 You guys are gonna have a lot of fun... 664 00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:12,556 but it's never gonna work out. 665 00:32:14,558 --> 00:32:16,393 Take it from me. 666 00:32:27,364 --> 00:32:28,782 Sweet and salty. 667 00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:31,241 How's that? 668 00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:34,119 Hmm. 669 00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:38,624 How about the Razzle Dazzle? 670 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:40,292 Does it razzle? 671 00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:41,460 Does it... 672 00:32:42,420 --> 00:32:43,630 Dazzle? 673 00:32:45,089 --> 00:32:46,799 All right, that's it. 674 00:32:48,259 --> 00:32:50,303 -No. It's not. -No. Okay. 675 00:32:50,303 --> 00:32:52,138 Well, at least you're predictable. 676 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:53,472 Huh? 677 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:54,640 Cookie dough. 678 00:32:54,641 --> 00:32:56,059 Why would you say that? 679 00:32:56,058 --> 00:32:57,518 Well, you just gotta pick a flavor 680 00:32:57,519 --> 00:32:59,437 and then just go with that flavor. 681 00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:01,689 And why would I pick a flavor and just go with that flavor 682 00:33:01,690 --> 00:33:03,024 when I can try all the flavors? 683 00:33:03,023 --> 00:33:04,566 Because if you try all the flavors, 684 00:33:04,567 --> 00:33:06,361 then you never really get to experience 685 00:33:06,361 --> 00:33:12,200 just one good flavor at once. 686 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,953 - Let me think about that. -Mm-hmm, yeah. 687 00:33:14,952 --> 00:33:17,371 Yeah, I think I'm just gonna exercise my right 688 00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:20,542 -to try all the flavors because I can. -Okay. 689 00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,501 And I'm going to get the vanilla cone. 690 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,586 - Boring. Predictable. -That's not boring. 691 00:33:24,586 --> 00:33:27,464 No, I like vanilla, because I'm traveled, I'm wise, 692 00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:29,341 I'm cultured, I've had the other flavors. 693 00:33:29,342 --> 00:33:31,761 Chocolate varies too much brand to brand. 694 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,263 -Cotton candy, that's one of the fun flavors, right? -Yeah. 695 00:33:34,263 --> 00:33:36,348 You take two bites of that, too sweet. 696 00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:37,766 Thank you. 697 00:33:37,767 --> 00:33:39,894 -It's melting and everything. -Cheers. 698 00:33:41,438 --> 00:33:45,066 Okay, well, I guess you'll never experience the joy 699 00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:48,236 of having a Razzle Dazzle, salted caramel, 700 00:33:48,236 --> 00:33:52,449 -and cookie dough, in a cup, please. - Okay. 701 00:33:52,449 --> 00:33:55,660 I guess you'll never experience the joy of committing to something. 702 00:34:00,664 --> 00:34:04,168 What are you guys really talking about? 703 00:34:04,169 --> 00:34:05,920 Just some metaphors. 704 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,964 Yeah, metaphors are great ways to talk about things 705 00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:10,758 -that you don't actually wanna talk about. -Mm-hmm. 706 00:34:14,179 --> 00:34:17,015 Do-- do you wanna check out? 707 00:34:17,014 --> 00:34:19,975 Three avoided "what are we" conversations later, 708 00:34:19,976 --> 00:34:24,022 Milo wished he was the flavor that could make Wendy happy. 709 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:26,607 -I think you make me a better person. 710 00:34:26,608 --> 00:34:29,694 I'm literally the same person you've dated your entire life, 711 00:34:29,693 --> 00:34:32,571 and if you're really on the quest to look for the one, 712 00:34:32,572 --> 00:34:35,116 then you really have to stop looking in the same place. 713 00:34:35,115 --> 00:34:36,867 I think you need to give yourself more credit. 714 00:34:36,867 --> 00:34:38,494 You don't make me a better person. 715 00:34:38,494 --> 00:34:40,120 That's why this works so well. 716 00:34:40,121 --> 00:34:42,165 We're like the TV show you watch every night, 717 00:34:42,164 --> 00:34:44,667 that episode of The Office that you know line by line. 718 00:34:44,668 --> 00:34:46,586 You just know what to expect. 719 00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:48,587 What's wrong with that? 720 00:34:48,588 --> 00:34:50,256 Okay! 721 00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:53,968 Hook, Hook, Hook. Wait, wait, wait. 722 00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:57,638 Um, no, I know-- stop, I know who is in Hook. 723 00:34:57,639 --> 00:34:59,766 -Rufio. -Whoa! 724 00:34:59,766 --> 00:35:01,976 -Um, yes, that's his na-- -Has a name. 725 00:35:01,976 --> 00:35:03,603 Okay, calm down. 726 00:35:03,603 --> 00:35:05,438 Uh, his name is, uh... 727 00:35:05,438 --> 00:35:06,606 - Three... -Two... 728 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,858 No, wait, no, no, no, stop! 729 00:35:08,858 --> 00:35:10,777 -...one. -Stop! 730 00:35:10,777 --> 00:35:14,239 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 731 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:15,532 -Chug it, chug it. -That's alcohol. 732 00:35:15,532 --> 00:35:17,242 -No more. 733 00:35:17,242 --> 00:35:20,495 - Oh, Dante Basco, duh. -Should we split it? 734 00:35:20,494 --> 00:35:23,414 -No, I think we should do individually. -Why? 735 00:35:23,414 --> 00:35:26,458 -That's, like, extremely difficult... -Hank had two mains. 736 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,002 He did, didn't he? 737 00:35:28,003 --> 00:35:30,005 Yeah, I'm bulking. 738 00:35:30,005 --> 00:35:31,715 You ate like two people. 739 00:35:31,715 --> 00:35:34,175 You got the sea bass and you got a hanger steak. 740 00:35:34,175 --> 00:35:38,013 But that hanger steak was not for the table, that was for you. 741 00:35:38,012 --> 00:35:40,681 Okay, fine, I'll-- I will pay the tip. 742 00:35:40,681 --> 00:35:42,307 -Okay. -Okay. 743 00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:44,560 -Aw! You guys! - Settled. That's fair. 744 00:35:44,561 --> 00:35:47,063 Say "Thank you, Daddy" on three. One, two, three. 745 00:35:47,063 --> 00:35:49,107 -Thank you, Daddy. - Very good. 746 00:35:49,106 --> 00:35:50,774 -Why didn't you say it? -'Cause it's uncomfortable. 747 00:35:50,775 --> 00:35:52,944 -I always tell them that. -He liked that too much. 748 00:35:52,943 --> 00:35:56,405 Now that that's settled, Wendy has big news, speaking of news. 749 00:35:56,405 --> 00:36:00,075 -Oh, does she? -Wendy is moving to LA. 750 00:36:00,076 --> 00:36:01,870 She's movin' to LA. She just told me. 751 00:36:01,869 --> 00:36:03,996 -That's exciting, that's awesome. - No... 752 00:36:03,996 --> 00:36:06,123 -I-- what? -I'm-- I'm just... 753 00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:10,377 contemplating a life there... 754 00:36:10,378 --> 00:36:12,297 Like, on purpose? 755 00:36:12,297 --> 00:36:13,798 Hate that for you. 756 00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:16,633 -LA is a haunted house... -Oh, my God. 757 00:36:16,634 --> 00:36:18,887 ...full of cardboard sunshine people. 758 00:36:18,887 --> 00:36:20,472 Why did you do that? See, you've made her mad. 759 00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:22,891 -You're being a child. -I'm not being a child. 760 00:36:22,891 --> 00:36:24,601 -You're being a child. -Mm-mm. 761 00:36:24,601 --> 00:36:26,061 You look like a child right now. 762 00:36:26,061 --> 00:36:28,229 The way you're drinking is childlike. 763 00:36:28,228 --> 00:36:31,732 If they're not a couple, they're definitely fighting like a couple. 764 00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:34,194 -Well, they are. -I don't think-- that was bickering. 765 00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:36,236 -I don't think that was fighting. -It wasn't fighting. 766 00:36:36,237 --> 00:36:37,822 You were being kind of dramatic. That wasn't fighting. 767 00:36:37,822 --> 00:36:39,783 That was a discussion. We were discussing. 768 00:36:39,782 --> 00:36:42,326 It was-- it was a salon. 769 00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:45,622 Oh, uh, my ex just moved to LA. 770 00:36:45,621 --> 00:36:47,414 - Oh, really? -I'll give you her number. 771 00:36:47,414 --> 00:36:48,749 -You guys would totally get along. - Yeah. 772 00:36:48,750 --> 00:36:51,126 Oh, amazing. 773 00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:54,338 That sounds incredible. What's up with your ex? 774 00:36:54,338 --> 00:36:56,340 Cool. 775 00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:59,051 She just moved there a few months ago. 776 00:36:59,052 --> 00:37:00,970 I didn't know you still talked to her. 777 00:37:00,969 --> 00:37:03,597 -I don't, really. 778 00:37:03,597 --> 00:37:06,016 She just told me that she was leaving to New York. 779 00:37:06,016 --> 00:37:08,519 She told you? Like, you guys text? 780 00:37:08,519 --> 00:37:12,439 Not often, but she texted me because we have... 781 00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:17,320 a "text when a big life event happens" type of relationship. 782 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,197 She's moving to LA? What is she, an actress? 783 00:37:19,197 --> 00:37:20,907 -She's moved to LA. -She's an actress? 784 00:37:20,907 --> 00:37:22,450 -No, she works in PR. -Is she blonde? 785 00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:24,618 Okay, how tall she? Look at me in the eyes. 786 00:37:24,619 --> 00:37:26,746 How-- hey! 787 00:37:26,746 --> 00:37:28,498 How tall is she? 788 00:37:28,498 --> 00:37:30,375 You know, that's something-- that we don't do that. 789 00:37:30,375 --> 00:37:32,794 We don't have to do that. We're immune to stuff like that. 790 00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:35,671 -We are immune. -We don't have that element to be worried about it. 791 00:37:35,672 --> 00:37:37,298 We can't even get to the point where we fight. 792 00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:39,383 - I'm not mad. -You're overreacting-- 793 00:37:39,384 --> 00:37:42,137 -I'm overreacting? It's called reacting, so. -You're-- I-- 794 00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:44,014 -You know that I hate-- -I've mentioned that-- 795 00:37:44,014 --> 00:37:46,683 Overreacting? Are you serious? 796 00:37:46,682 --> 00:37:49,101 I am going to go. 797 00:37:49,101 --> 00:37:51,603 This was so freaking cool and fun. 798 00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:54,148 - Bye. - Bye. 799 00:37:54,148 --> 00:37:56,525 - Have an amazing night, everyone. - Love you. 800 00:37:56,525 --> 00:37:58,610 - Love you. - Later. 801 00:38:01,739 --> 00:38:03,824 You still have her number? 802 00:38:03,824 --> 00:38:05,784 Yeah, what am I supp-- 803 00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,287 Am I not allowed to have an ex-girlfriend? 804 00:38:08,288 --> 00:38:09,789 You need a whole new phone now. 805 00:38:09,789 --> 00:38:13,460 I'm gonna go, um, deal with this. 806 00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,128 - Okay. - Okay? 807 00:38:15,128 --> 00:38:17,630 -Are you leaving without paying? -Leave a card. 808 00:38:17,630 --> 00:38:21,259 -Definitely leave a card. -But you got a lobster, that's not even-- 809 00:38:21,259 --> 00:38:22,510 Even the size, what do you think? 810 00:38:22,510 --> 00:38:25,555 Is there-- no way. 811 00:38:25,554 --> 00:38:27,514 -No kiss? No kiss? -No. 812 00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:29,516 PDA is a no-no for us. 813 00:38:29,516 --> 00:38:32,686 -Come on, just give me a kiss. -It's gross, it's gross. 814 00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:34,396 -I don't wanna do it. -Look at them. 815 00:38:34,396 --> 00:38:36,065 Are you kidding? 816 00:38:36,065 --> 00:38:37,649 I think they're overcompensating for something. 817 00:38:37,650 --> 00:38:39,903 I mean, they were literally just fighting. 818 00:38:39,902 --> 00:38:42,404 And now they're not. I don't know. 819 00:38:42,405 --> 00:38:44,407 I think they really love each other. 820 00:38:44,407 --> 00:38:46,826 And I think that they've been dating for, like, two weeks. 821 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:49,496 Two months! 822 00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:52,332 They don't love each other. That is the honeymoon stage. 823 00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:54,249 I don't know. 824 00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:55,669 So? 825 00:38:55,668 --> 00:38:58,003 What? My place, your place? 826 00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:01,006 What are we doing, hmm? What are we doin'? 827 00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:03,885 I think I owe you two sleepovers, so. 828 00:39:03,885 --> 00:39:07,180 Um, actually... 829 00:39:08,139 --> 00:39:11,393 -I do. -You got other plans? 830 00:39:11,393 --> 00:39:12,727 Okay, all right. 831 00:39:12,726 --> 00:39:14,645 So what? That's a date? 832 00:39:14,646 --> 00:39:17,899 Yeah. Yeah, I already got a date. 833 00:39:19,483 --> 00:39:20,526 All right. 834 00:39:22,987 --> 00:39:25,365 I have to dip my toes back in the water. 835 00:39:25,364 --> 00:39:26,490 Come on. 836 00:39:26,490 --> 00:39:28,367 Actually, while I have you, 837 00:39:28,367 --> 00:39:30,786 is this a good text to send someone 838 00:39:30,786 --> 00:39:33,539 or is it, like, way too aggressive? 839 00:39:35,833 --> 00:39:37,626 -Really? -What? 840 00:39:37,626 --> 00:39:39,378 Wendy, no matter what I tell you, 841 00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:42,256 you're just gonna like the guy that doesn't like you back. 842 00:39:42,257 --> 00:39:46,302 Hey, emotionally unavailable people need love, too, so help. 843 00:39:47,594 --> 00:39:49,805 We're more afraid of you than you are of us. 844 00:39:49,806 --> 00:39:51,307 That's not helpful. 845 00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:54,226 Give me something more. Elaborate, please. 846 00:39:54,226 --> 00:39:58,731 Huh. You know, be your charming self, make small talk, 847 00:39:58,731 --> 00:40:03,360 have an emotional connection, you know, bite your lip, right? 848 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,946 But you can't text him. Do not! 849 00:40:05,947 --> 00:40:07,949 Seriously, you have to act like he died. 850 00:40:07,949 --> 00:40:10,618 Do not text him, and then, boom, he's yours. 851 00:40:12,454 --> 00:40:14,914 He'll fall in love with you. 852 00:40:14,914 --> 00:40:16,624 Thank you. 853 00:40:16,623 --> 00:40:18,834 But I have to go, and I'm gonna call you later. 854 00:40:28,052 --> 00:40:33,265 Uh, yeah, thank you for the drinks. 855 00:40:33,266 --> 00:40:35,101 I mean, I kind of wish you let me split it, 856 00:40:35,101 --> 00:40:37,395 but, whatever, it was really nice of you. 857 00:40:37,394 --> 00:40:40,939 Um, so thank you... again. 858 00:40:40,940 --> 00:40:43,401 Yeah, of course, no worries. 859 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,819 Uh, so drinks again next week. 860 00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:47,447 This was Mort, 861 00:40:47,447 --> 00:40:49,532 a man Wendy matched with on Meet Cute. 862 00:40:49,532 --> 00:40:53,453 He lived only one train stop away and was a clean 6'2". 863 00:40:53,452 --> 00:40:56,663 Rather than seeing a therapist, Mort co-hosted a podcast 864 00:40:56,664 --> 00:40:59,709 where he interviewed ex-girlfriends about what went wrong, 865 00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:02,920 called Let's Catch Up, available on iTunes and Spotify. 866 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,922 So, I'll see you again for drinks next week. 867 00:41:04,922 --> 00:41:07,132 We'll do drinks next week. 868 00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:09,134 No, actually. 869 00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:10,595 What? Why? what? 870 00:41:10,594 --> 00:41:12,763 I mean, you lied. 871 00:41:12,764 --> 00:41:14,015 About? 872 00:41:14,014 --> 00:41:15,140 Come on. 873 00:41:15,849 --> 00:41:17,309 -What? -Mort. 874 00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:19,520 -Yes? -Mort, you said you were 6'2". 875 00:41:22,856 --> 00:41:27,152 I am essentially 6'2". 876 00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:28,821 What-- what are you talking about? 877 00:41:28,822 --> 00:41:31,950 You're not 6'2". 878 00:41:31,949 --> 00:41:34,618 Okay, fine. 879 00:41:34,619 --> 00:41:37,288 I'm like 6-- I'm like 6-- I'm like a solid 6 foot. 880 00:41:37,288 --> 00:41:38,957 I'm like a clean 6-- 6'0". 881 00:41:40,458 --> 00:41:42,002 Sure, you know what? You're right. 882 00:41:42,001 --> 00:41:45,170 If I take off my shoes, yeah, I'm six foot. 883 00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:47,756 -But shoes back on, I'm probably like 6'3". -It's okay, honestly. 884 00:41:47,757 --> 00:41:51,052 6'2" is merely a number. 885 00:41:51,052 --> 00:41:52,721 You don't wanna give this a chance 886 00:41:52,721 --> 00:41:55,015 'cause I'm slightly smaller than I said I was? 887 00:41:55,014 --> 00:41:57,766 "Slight" is generous, Mort, but I appreciate you keeping yourself up. 888 00:41:57,766 --> 00:42:00,728 Here, come take a seat, let me explain something to you. 889 00:42:02,021 --> 00:42:06,817 Your optimism is endearing, honestly, but let's dig deeper. 890 00:42:07,777 --> 00:42:09,362 Why do you feel the need 891 00:42:09,362 --> 00:42:12,240 to exaggerate certain aspects of your profile? 892 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,659 -I mean, do you not love you? -I do love me. 893 00:42:15,659 --> 00:42:18,579 Oh, good. Let's start there. 894 00:42:18,579 --> 00:42:23,042 It's just that dating-- dating can be so hard. 895 00:42:23,043 --> 00:42:25,587 It is. It can be. 896 00:42:25,586 --> 00:42:29,965 And I go on all these dates and I finally meet people that I like, 897 00:42:29,965 --> 00:42:32,718 and then the more I like them, the less they like me. 898 00:42:33,594 --> 00:42:35,929 Hmm, I know the feeling. Do you smoke? 899 00:42:35,929 --> 00:42:37,264 -No. -I don't either. 900 00:42:37,264 --> 00:42:39,933 Listen, Mort, here's the thing. 901 00:42:39,934 --> 00:42:43,313 Sometimes things in life just don't pan out the way we want them to, 902 00:42:43,313 --> 00:42:46,608 but you have to be able to get over it and you have to be okay with that. 903 00:42:46,608 --> 00:42:49,110 On a different couch, in a different part of Manhattan, 904 00:42:49,110 --> 00:42:51,363 Milo was enjoying temporary validation 905 00:42:51,362 --> 00:42:54,406 from all the likes on his most recent selfie. 906 00:42:54,407 --> 00:42:56,368 He was surprised, but not shocked, 907 00:42:56,367 --> 00:42:58,869 to see that Katie 7F liked his photo 908 00:42:58,869 --> 00:43:01,705 despite their theatrical Central Park breakup. 909 00:43:01,706 --> 00:43:03,541 He quickly scrolled her grid, 910 00:43:03,541 --> 00:43:05,710 and with no evidence of a significant other, 911 00:43:05,710 --> 00:43:10,048 her percentage of singlehood was likely high. 912 00:43:26,940 --> 00:43:29,859 Did you know that Sunday is the busiest day for people on dating apps? 913 00:43:29,858 --> 00:43:34,238 I wonder if it's because of the impending horror of the work week. 914 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,617 -Actually, I'm sure that's probably it, yeah. 915 00:43:37,617 --> 00:43:41,079 Oh, and January sixth is the busiest day of the year. 916 00:43:41,079 --> 00:43:42,288 Why is that? 917 00:43:42,288 --> 00:43:44,207 'Cause people want Valentines? 918 00:43:44,206 --> 00:43:45,874 No, I think it's because people break up 919 00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:47,711 after they go meet each other's families, 920 00:43:47,710 --> 00:43:49,712 'cause they realize, "I was just in this relationship 921 00:43:49,713 --> 00:43:53,133 so I wouldn't be the only single person at Thanksgiving dinner." 922 00:43:53,132 --> 00:43:57,177 Ooh, and did you know that you're 80% more likely to be swiped right on 923 00:43:57,177 --> 00:43:59,346 if you use the word guacamole in your profile? 924 00:43:59,347 --> 00:44:01,558 -Guacamole? -Mm-hmm. 925 00:44:01,557 --> 00:44:03,225 Hmm. 926 00:44:03,226 --> 00:44:05,603 Do you know what men lie about? 927 00:44:05,603 --> 00:44:06,771 Their height? 928 00:44:07,771 --> 00:44:09,606 How did you know that? 929 00:44:09,606 --> 00:44:12,192 Because I'm 5'8", not 5'11". 930 00:44:12,985 --> 00:44:14,945 Mmm, right. 931 00:44:14,945 --> 00:44:16,947 Yes, I wish I knew that. 932 00:44:19,617 --> 00:44:21,202 Do you wanna come over? 933 00:44:21,202 --> 00:44:23,955 -That's a rule breaker. -What. 934 00:44:23,954 --> 00:44:26,457 I am sleepy, and I'm already in bed, 935 00:44:26,458 --> 00:44:30,211 and I'm watching Harry Potter, and... yeah. 936 00:44:30,210 --> 00:44:32,713 But I can talk to you until I fall asleep. 937 00:44:32,713 --> 00:44:36,091 -Okay, I'll settle for that. -Mm-hmm. 938 00:44:37,802 --> 00:44:40,930 Wait, where did you go? 939 00:44:40,929 --> 00:44:45,851 I just, uh, checked Instagram. 940 00:44:46,936 --> 00:44:49,564 -Oh, my God. 941 00:44:49,563 --> 00:44:52,816 -Thank-- -But, uh, yeah, yeah, I have to go. 942 00:44:52,817 --> 00:44:54,486 What? Wait, what? 943 00:44:54,485 --> 00:44:56,528 Yeah, I gotta-- I gotta go for real. 944 00:44:56,528 --> 00:44:58,906 Whatever, you suck. 945 00:45:10,085 --> 00:45:11,378 - Hi. -Hey, what's up? 946 00:45:11,378 --> 00:45:12,879 -Hey. 947 00:45:12,878 --> 00:45:14,463 -Thanks for coming. -Yeah, for sure. 948 00:45:14,463 --> 00:45:16,882 -Do I...? -Good, yeah, yeah, yeah. 949 00:45:16,882 --> 00:45:19,968 Um, so, yeah. 950 00:45:19,969 --> 00:45:21,930 Easy time getting here? 951 00:45:21,929 --> 00:45:24,598 Yeah, I mean, all of six minutes it took me. 952 00:45:24,599 --> 00:45:26,851 -I took the stairs. - Oh, okay. 953 00:45:26,851 --> 00:45:29,229 -A little cardio, a little workout, that's good. -Got my steps in. 954 00:45:29,228 --> 00:45:32,898 -Right, right, that's good. Do you want some wine? -I would love some wine. 955 00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:34,608 -Yeah, okay. -Yes, one of those days. 956 00:45:34,608 --> 00:45:37,069 -I've got a nice Flemish red. -Yep. 957 00:45:37,070 --> 00:45:39,030 Okay. 958 00:45:41,199 --> 00:45:42,784 -You like wine? -Yeah. 959 00:45:42,784 --> 00:45:44,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 960 00:45:44,159 --> 00:45:45,953 You know, I indulge, I would say. 961 00:45:45,954 --> 00:45:47,789 -Um... 962 00:45:47,789 --> 00:45:50,333 - It's hard not to miss it, eh? 963 00:45:50,333 --> 00:45:53,586 - Right. Cheers. - Cheers. 964 00:45:53,585 --> 00:45:56,714 Despite the contract stating they could sleep with others, 965 00:45:56,715 --> 00:45:58,800 Milo had a rush of morning guilt 966 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,011 and Wendy couldn't help but feel a little bitter. 967 00:46:01,010 --> 00:46:03,387 I guess there's something you can learn from that. 968 00:46:03,387 --> 00:46:07,224 Like don't be stupid, don't just immediately have sex with someone, I guess. 969 00:46:07,224 --> 00:46:09,768 But like any healthy adult relationship, 970 00:46:09,768 --> 00:46:13,105 the two addressed their emotions head-on. 971 00:46:13,106 --> 00:46:15,108 -Why are you being moody? 972 00:46:15,108 --> 00:46:17,777 -I'm not. -You're being really moody. 973 00:46:17,777 --> 00:46:20,905 -No, I'm not being moody. -Oh, my God, let's not play this game. 974 00:46:20,905 --> 00:46:22,365 Just tell me if you're mad. 975 00:46:22,364 --> 00:46:23,907 If you're mad, we can talk about it. 976 00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:26,827 I'm not mad, I'm not. I was just saying. 977 00:46:26,827 --> 00:46:29,830 While one relationship tiptoed around their feelings, 978 00:46:29,831 --> 00:46:33,460 another was about to take a huge step forward. 979 00:46:33,460 --> 00:46:36,463 Okay, this neighborhood is very hot, very hot. 980 00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:38,340 Did you notice the Whole Foods they were building? 981 00:46:38,340 --> 00:46:40,800 -They were opening one down the street. -Oh, on 24th? 982 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,470 -No, the one on 23rd. -Uh, how's the landlord? 983 00:46:43,469 --> 00:46:45,220 Oh, completely insane. 984 00:46:45,221 --> 00:46:47,974 You'd be lucky if you get your security deposit back, 985 00:46:47,974 --> 00:46:51,186 but you have to ignore all these red flags for... 986 00:46:52,478 --> 00:46:53,896 natural light. 987 00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,814 It's a little small, right, Hanky? 988 00:46:57,275 --> 00:46:58,860 It's New York! 989 00:46:58,860 --> 00:47:00,487 Yeah, uh, can I think about it? 990 00:47:00,487 --> 00:47:01,988 Well, not too long, 991 00:47:01,987 --> 00:47:04,740 because this place is gonna be snapped up. 992 00:47:04,740 --> 00:47:08,118 A place like this in this hot neighborhood, very desirable. 993 00:47:08,119 --> 00:47:10,080 Take five seconds. 994 00:47:10,079 --> 00:47:11,955 Five, four, three, two-- 995 00:47:11,956 --> 00:47:13,833 -I'll take it! 996 00:47:13,833 --> 00:47:16,044 -Good choice. -Are you serious? 997 00:47:16,043 --> 00:47:17,920 -She's good. -Okay, let's go. 998 00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,797 You're very good at your job. All right, let's see. 999 00:47:19,797 --> 00:47:22,049 You're gonna definitely have to move some of this furniture. 1000 00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:25,387 It's very sad. Very, very sad couch over there. 1001 00:47:25,387 --> 00:47:27,263 And you're gonna wanna move that up. 1002 00:47:27,262 --> 00:47:30,140 You're gonna have to get rid of literally everything in here. 1003 00:47:30,141 --> 00:47:32,227 This is the saddest couch in the universe. 1004 00:47:32,226 --> 00:47:34,353 That's scientific fact. 1005 00:47:34,353 --> 00:47:37,231 The sad Eiffel Tower, "I'm a girl who studied abroad" painting, 1006 00:47:37,231 --> 00:47:38,565 you'll have to move that. 1007 00:47:38,565 --> 00:47:41,777 -Come on. -You mean, um... 1008 00:47:41,777 --> 00:47:45,030 You mean, we're gonna have to move that. 1009 00:47:45,030 --> 00:47:46,740 What are you talking about? 1010 00:47:48,034 --> 00:47:50,829 -I know that your lease is up. -Okay. 1011 00:47:50,829 --> 00:47:53,665 It's coming up, and you don't like living with roommates... 1012 00:47:53,664 --> 00:47:58,460 -I don't. -But what if you live with me and I was your roommate? 1013 00:48:00,422 --> 00:48:01,923 -Are you askng me to move in with you? -Mm. 1014 00:48:01,922 --> 00:48:04,383 -In front of our new friend? -Yeah. 1015 00:48:04,384 --> 00:48:06,136 -Are you nervous right now? -A little bit. 1016 00:48:06,135 --> 00:48:08,345 I know, I could tell. What do you want me to say? 1017 00:48:08,346 --> 00:48:10,598 -You think I'm gonna say no? -I want you to say yes. 1018 00:48:10,597 --> 00:48:12,766 -Of course I'll say yes! -'Cause I like you so much. 1019 00:48:12,766 --> 00:48:14,643 I like you! I like you so much. 1020 00:48:14,643 --> 00:48:16,562 -What do you mean? Wait. - What? 1021 00:48:16,563 --> 00:48:18,398 -You-- you like him? -Yeah. 1022 00:48:18,398 --> 00:48:19,899 -You like her? -Yeah. 1023 00:48:19,898 --> 00:48:21,233 - Big-time. -Do you love her? 1024 00:48:21,233 --> 00:48:22,943 -Do you love him? 1025 00:48:22,943 --> 00:48:24,486 The first time I'm gonna say it in front of-- 1026 00:48:24,487 --> 00:48:26,823 -He's obsessed with me. -Yeah, I love you. 1027 00:48:26,822 --> 00:48:30,159 -I love you too. -Oh, so beautiful! 1028 00:48:30,159 --> 00:48:31,744 We're gonna live in this little shit-hole together. 1029 00:48:31,744 --> 00:48:33,912 Okay, but first, you're gonna have to-- 1030 00:48:33,913 --> 00:48:37,167 first and last month's rent and my commission. 1031 00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:38,542 You know what? Anything for you. 1032 00:48:38,543 --> 00:48:40,503 You're a queen. Come here. 1033 00:48:40,503 --> 00:48:42,547 -You're our girl. - Oh! 1034 00:48:42,547 --> 00:48:44,299 -Oh, that-- that's nice. -Thank you. 1035 00:48:46,217 --> 00:48:47,552 We live here now! 1036 00:48:47,552 --> 00:48:49,721 That's my shitty couch! 1037 00:48:53,349 --> 00:48:56,769 ...to grab your attention with its nice, broad green leaves 1038 00:48:56,769 --> 00:48:58,437 and its air filtering prowess. 1039 00:48:58,438 --> 00:48:59,981 Now give it a little touch. 1040 00:48:59,981 --> 00:49:02,692 -Don't-- no, no, not too much. -Sorry. 1041 00:49:02,692 --> 00:49:04,652 Now it might require a little bit more maintenance 1042 00:49:04,652 --> 00:49:06,404 -than the other plants... -Mm-hmm. 1043 00:49:06,403 --> 00:49:08,697 ...but as we all know, nothing good comes easy, right? 1044 00:49:08,697 --> 00:49:11,950 Ah, ha! Do you have anything from the Jurassic era? 1045 00:49:11,951 --> 00:49:13,661 -You know what, let me check. -I'll look too. 1046 00:49:13,661 --> 00:49:15,497 -Let me see. -I'll give it a quick gander. 1047 00:49:15,496 --> 00:49:17,206 You guys just do your thing. 1048 00:49:17,206 --> 00:49:19,166 I want something that looks like it came out of a movie. 1049 00:49:19,166 --> 00:49:20,751 So you want a fossil? 1050 00:49:20,751 --> 00:49:22,920 I would also want a fossil, but... 1051 00:49:26,757 --> 00:49:28,717 Is there a price tag? 1052 00:49:31,387 --> 00:49:32,846 What's wrong? 1053 00:49:32,847 --> 00:49:34,724 - We have to go now. -Why? 1054 00:49:34,724 --> 00:49:37,477 -I wanted to get the plant. - We have to go now. 1055 00:49:37,476 --> 00:49:39,812 Don't forget, don't forget, don't forget, don't forget. 1056 00:49:39,813 --> 00:49:42,357 -Hey, Bradley! -Who is-- 1057 00:49:42,356 --> 00:49:44,775 Damn, damn... Wendy, Wendy. Okay, basically, listen, here. 1058 00:49:44,775 --> 00:49:46,151 SparkNotes version. 1059 00:49:46,152 --> 00:49:47,904 I dated that guy Bradley over there 1060 00:49:47,903 --> 00:49:49,988 and he basically ghosted me for an unknown reason. 1061 00:49:49,989 --> 00:49:51,741 Maybe it could have been because I texted him a bunch of times. 1062 00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:53,283 I'm not sure, but he's here, so we're gonna say hi. 1063 00:49:53,284 --> 00:49:54,577 -All right. -We're gonna be fierce. 1064 00:49:54,577 --> 00:49:57,539 Be the better version of you. 1065 00:49:57,539 --> 00:49:59,666 -Hey! -Hello! 1066 00:49:59,666 --> 00:50:01,334 Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. 1067 00:50:01,333 --> 00:50:03,043 I was blind, but now I see. 1068 00:50:03,043 --> 00:50:04,920 -I see you. -Duh, missed it, missed it. 1069 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,923 Sorry, that was aggressive. 1070 00:50:07,923 --> 00:50:09,925 -Hi, what's up? - Kind of insensitive, given the climate. 1071 00:50:09,925 --> 00:50:11,760 -Okay. -How are you? 1072 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,346 Good. I mean, I don't know, how is the sun, you know? 1073 00:50:14,347 --> 00:50:17,642 How is the sky? It's grateful and expansive. 1074 00:50:17,641 --> 00:50:20,102 -Thank you, Father, up there. - Thank you. 1075 00:50:20,103 --> 00:50:21,855 Thank you for asking me. How are you? 1076 00:50:21,855 --> 00:50:24,607 -I'm amazing. Look, I'm-- -Come here, come here. 1077 00:50:24,606 --> 00:50:27,443 -Oh, okay. -Mm. 1078 00:50:27,443 --> 00:50:30,362 Mm, yeah, it is you, it is you. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 1079 00:50:30,362 --> 00:50:32,239 Brad, baby, I found one. 1080 00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:33,574 Oh, Erica. 1081 00:50:33,574 --> 00:50:35,451 Hey, uh, this is Wendy, actually. 1082 00:50:35,452 --> 00:50:37,370 -Oh, hi. -Hi. 1083 00:50:37,369 --> 00:50:39,496 - Hi... - Hey. 1084 00:50:39,496 --> 00:50:41,999 She looks just like you. 1085 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,753 -Oh, stop, that's so-- -You're so sweet. 1086 00:50:44,753 --> 00:50:46,504 This is Milo. Sorry, this is Milo. 1087 00:50:46,503 --> 00:50:48,547 -He's, um... He's my friend. -Yeah, hey. What's up? 1088 00:50:48,547 --> 00:50:50,674 He's my, um, sex friend. 1089 00:50:50,675 --> 00:50:53,261 -Yeah, by contract. -By contract, by contract. 1090 00:50:53,260 --> 00:50:55,512 Well, Erica's my fiancée. 1091 00:50:55,512 --> 00:50:56,972 So, we're waiting. 1092 00:50:56,972 --> 00:50:58,640 Just kidding! We're freaks! 1093 00:50:58,641 --> 00:51:00,894 Wow! Did you hear that, Milo? 1094 00:51:00,893 --> 00:51:02,853 He has a fiancée now. 1095 00:51:02,853 --> 00:51:04,980 That's crazy! It's wild! 1096 00:51:04,981 --> 00:51:07,984 I just-- I remember you kind of saying something along the lines 1097 00:51:07,983 --> 00:51:10,819 of, "Hey, you know, Wendy, I don't wanna date you anymore. 1098 00:51:10,820 --> 00:51:12,447 I wanna date myself and be single." 1099 00:51:12,447 --> 00:51:14,824 And I was like, "Oh, cool, you go do that." 1100 00:51:14,824 --> 00:51:17,660 Well, last time you saw me, I was like... "Whoo!" 1101 00:51:17,659 --> 00:51:19,620 -You know? That was me! - Yes, yes. 1102 00:51:19,621 --> 00:51:22,123 But not anymore, not anymore, 'cause I was looking. 1103 00:51:22,123 --> 00:51:23,750 I was searching, I was searching. 1104 00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:25,584 But, you know, the universe provides, right? 1105 00:51:25,585 --> 00:51:27,545 "I was trying to date myself," you know, 1106 00:51:27,545 --> 00:51:29,255 what an egotistical thing to say. 1107 00:51:29,255 --> 00:51:31,299 -No, babe, that was your past. -That was my past. 1108 00:51:31,298 --> 00:51:33,842 Then they put us together at the singles' table 1109 00:51:33,842 --> 00:51:36,136 at a mutual friend's wedding and, um... 1110 00:51:36,137 --> 00:51:38,056 I don't know how to describe it, we just fell in love. 1111 00:51:38,056 --> 00:51:39,974 We just fell in love. 1112 00:51:39,974 --> 00:51:41,893 I'm so happy to say that out loud. 1113 00:51:41,893 --> 00:51:44,562 - It still gets me. Oh, my God. -Yeah, baby. 1114 00:51:44,561 --> 00:51:46,105 Isn't that great? 1115 00:51:46,106 --> 00:51:47,482 -Wow. -We found the energy. 1116 00:51:47,481 --> 00:51:48,982 -Isn't that great? -That's great. 1117 00:51:49,192 --> 00:51:53,697 You know what that is? That's rollover feelings. 1118 00:51:56,657 --> 00:51:59,326 It's like rollover minutes, but with feelings. 1119 00:52:00,161 --> 00:52:01,371 Huh. 1120 00:52:02,121 --> 00:52:05,708 It's like rollover minutes, but it's with feelings 1121 00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:07,960 and you got the family plan of feelings. 1122 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,045 -Like the phone plan! -Oh, my God, oh, my God! 1123 00:52:10,045 --> 00:52:12,589 -I'm gonna roll over with laughter from that. -Yeah, oh, my God! 1124 00:52:12,590 --> 00:52:15,552 You jokester. So charming. He's funny. 1125 00:52:15,552 --> 00:52:17,470 You're very funny. What does he do? 1126 00:52:17,469 --> 00:52:19,680 -It's a new bit I'm working on. -He's a comedian. 1127 00:52:19,681 --> 00:52:21,349 -Oh, I love Canadians. -Me too. 1128 00:52:21,349 --> 00:52:23,268 That's so cool. They are very funny. 1129 00:52:23,268 --> 00:52:25,478 I have some rollover feelings about a coffee table there. 1130 00:52:25,478 --> 00:52:28,106 -Yeah. Oh, my God! -I'm sorry, I stole your joke. 1131 00:52:28,106 --> 00:52:29,566 -Mee-lo? -Milo. 1132 00:52:29,565 --> 00:52:31,108 -Milo, great. Okay. -Milo. 1133 00:52:31,108 --> 00:52:32,818 - Bless you. -Yeah. 1134 00:52:32,818 --> 00:52:34,820 Uh, good luck with the sex. It sounds fantastic. 1135 00:52:34,820 --> 00:52:36,238 -Bye. - Goodbye. 1136 00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,366 Blessings to you. 1137 00:52:38,365 --> 00:52:40,242 After running into Bradley, 1138 00:52:40,242 --> 00:52:43,454 Wendy was visited by Ghost of Boyfriends Past. 1139 00:52:43,454 --> 00:52:46,582 Always the heartbroken and never the heartbreaker, 1140 00:52:46,583 --> 00:52:48,543 it finally clicked. 1141 00:52:48,543 --> 00:52:53,173 To never feel heartbreak again, she need only do one thing. 1142 00:53:00,429 --> 00:53:03,849 On a different phone screen, with no new matches, 1143 00:53:03,849 --> 00:53:06,643 Milo made a life-changing decision. 1144 00:53:19,865 --> 00:53:21,700 As both were down on dating, 1145 00:53:21,701 --> 00:53:24,537 Milo and Wendy visited Tompkins Square Park, 1146 00:53:24,536 --> 00:53:27,873 New York's breakup hot spot, to relieve some despair 1147 00:53:27,873 --> 00:53:31,710 via people who were full of even more resentment than they were. 1148 00:53:31,710 --> 00:53:33,921 "You don't take my food blogging seriously." 1149 00:53:33,922 --> 00:53:36,091 "I would love to take your food blogging seriously, 1150 00:53:36,090 --> 00:53:39,593 but you literally only blog things I'm allergic to, I can't eat." 1151 00:53:39,594 --> 00:53:41,721 "Uh, yeah, I blog things that you're allergic to 1152 00:53:41,721 --> 00:53:44,307 because I wanna raise awareness around your allergy." 1153 00:53:44,306 --> 00:53:47,059 -"Oh, babe, I need you to stop crying." -"I'm not crying." 1154 00:53:47,059 --> 00:53:49,061 -"You're always crying." -"I don't always cry." 1155 00:53:49,061 --> 00:53:51,063 "Can we just have an adult conversation for once?" 1156 00:53:51,063 --> 00:53:52,731 "We're are having an adult conversation." 1157 00:53:52,731 --> 00:53:55,150 -"Oh, my God." -"Stop. Stop it." 1158 00:53:55,150 --> 00:53:57,194 "I literally can't. I need to go have a beer." 1159 00:53:57,195 --> 00:53:59,280 -"You're just not emotionally vulnerable like I am." -"I am!" 1160 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:00,907 "And that's something that you need to work on." 1161 00:54:00,907 --> 00:54:02,909 "I bought the journal like you told me to." 1162 00:54:02,909 --> 00:54:05,161 -"I bought it!" -"You never use it, 'cause I've read it." 1163 00:54:05,161 --> 00:54:08,331 You ever think about how now it's so easy to break up with someone? 1164 00:54:08,331 --> 00:54:10,166 Back in the day, what? 1165 00:54:10,166 --> 00:54:14,921 You had to, like, show up to their house, do it in person. 1166 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,090 Now you can just... "It's not workin' out, slanty face." 1167 00:54:18,090 --> 00:54:22,720 I, for such an occasion, have a pre-written breakup text. 1168 00:54:22,721 --> 00:54:24,806 -Like a template? -Yeah. 1169 00:54:24,806 --> 00:54:26,182 -Seriously? -Yeah. 1170 00:54:26,181 --> 00:54:27,808 -Show me. -No. 1171 00:54:27,809 --> 00:54:29,310 Why? 1172 00:54:29,309 --> 00:54:30,686 Fine. 1173 00:54:30,686 --> 00:54:32,312 -You ready? -Lay it on me, yes. 1174 00:54:32,313 --> 00:54:34,607 -Break up with me, break my heart. -Okay. 1175 00:54:36,735 --> 00:54:39,779 "Hey, insert name there, 1176 00:54:39,778 --> 00:54:42,031 thank you so much for the last couple of dates. 1177 00:54:42,032 --> 00:54:44,409 They were really fun. 1178 00:54:44,409 --> 00:54:47,787 Unfortunately, I feel more of a friend vibe going, 1179 00:54:47,786 --> 00:54:50,372 but you're such a great person, and I really hope 1180 00:54:50,373 --> 00:54:53,293 that you have a great future and a successful year." 1181 00:54:53,293 --> 00:54:54,711 -That's it? -That's it. 1182 00:54:54,710 --> 00:54:57,212 You feel more of a friend vibe going? 1183 00:54:57,213 --> 00:54:58,715 If I got that after a date, I'd be like, 1184 00:54:58,715 --> 00:55:00,175 "Oh, great, they wanna see me again." 1185 00:55:00,175 --> 00:55:03,178 -What? -Yeah, that doesn't seem bad. 1186 00:55:03,177 --> 00:55:06,138 I think you're the only person that would read that text that way. 1187 00:55:06,139 --> 00:55:07,849 Honestly, just ghost me. 1188 00:55:07,849 --> 00:55:10,977 I'm not even... I don't wanna even get the text. 1189 00:55:10,976 --> 00:55:14,563 Just let me spiral, let me make up my own story. 1190 00:55:14,563 --> 00:55:17,524 -Let me write that in my Noteshelf. -Okay, I keep it in mine. 1191 00:55:17,525 --> 00:55:19,652 "Ghost Milo." 1192 00:55:19,652 --> 00:55:21,863 It's just every time I've liked someone, they've ghosted me. 1193 00:55:21,862 --> 00:55:25,616 And at this point, fine, I'll just be single forever. 1194 00:55:25,617 --> 00:55:28,995 -Are you kidding? -It's like, what am I-- what am I doing? 1195 00:55:30,204 --> 00:55:35,959 You are smart, and funny, and kind, and inspiring, 1196 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:39,673 and hard-working, and determined, and passionate. 1197 00:55:41,757 --> 00:55:43,467 You're gonna be just fine. 1198 00:55:47,597 --> 00:55:48,598 Okay. 1199 00:55:50,307 --> 00:55:51,892 -That was a good pep talk. -Thank you. 1200 00:55:51,893 --> 00:55:53,436 I think I know what I want now. 1201 00:55:54,813 --> 00:55:56,022 What is that? 1202 00:55:57,481 --> 00:55:59,608 "I think I'm gonna be a food blogger and..." 1203 00:55:59,608 --> 00:56:00,609 "You're gonna be a food blogger?" 1204 00:56:01,945 --> 00:56:03,780 "I'm gonna start by blogging about this brunch we're going to." 1205 00:56:03,780 --> 00:56:05,949 -"I'm all about brunch." -"It's gonna be so good." 1206 00:56:05,949 --> 00:56:09,202 "It's gonna be so good, right? It's gonna be so good." 1207 00:56:09,202 --> 00:56:10,870 -"You want a ride?" -"Okay, go." 1208 00:56:12,121 --> 00:56:14,164 To blogging! 1209 00:56:15,166 --> 00:56:18,003 - Oh, my God. - Your curls are literally perfect today. 1210 00:56:18,003 --> 00:56:20,964 -Can I touch one? -Yes, every curl has a story. 1211 00:56:20,963 --> 00:56:23,173 Does it? Tell me this one's story. 1212 00:56:23,173 --> 00:56:24,925 What happened to this one? 1213 00:56:24,925 --> 00:56:27,761 -He is a first-generation college student. -Mm-hmm. 1214 00:56:27,762 --> 00:56:30,181 And he is going to be taking care of his family. 1215 00:56:30,181 --> 00:56:33,977 -Oh, sad. -Which is so-- But he really takes pride in it. 1216 00:56:33,976 --> 00:56:35,894 He really takes pride and enjoys it. 1217 00:56:35,894 --> 00:56:39,273 -Get another one. -All right, I want this one. 1218 00:56:39,273 --> 00:56:42,317 - That one is a billionaire, actually. -Okay. 1219 00:56:42,318 --> 00:56:45,572 All the other curls hate him. - That makes sense. 1220 00:56:45,572 --> 00:56:47,032 -That's makes sense. -Yeah. 1221 00:56:47,032 --> 00:56:48,575 Like the Daddy Warbucks. 1222 00:56:48,574 --> 00:56:50,534 I don't know why I'm referencing musicals today. 1223 00:56:50,534 --> 00:56:52,453 What's going on here? 1224 00:56:53,663 --> 00:56:55,415 -What? -What? 1225 00:56:55,414 --> 00:56:57,958 You decided to sit on the same side of the booth. 1226 00:56:57,958 --> 00:57:00,669 It's kind of a pretty big booth. 1227 00:57:00,670 --> 00:57:03,882 Uh, would-- yeah, well, if we sat right there, 1228 00:57:03,882 --> 00:57:06,259 we'd be closing ourselves off from the world. 1229 00:57:06,259 --> 00:57:08,845 Exactly, I like to look. Like, "Oh, hey, what's up?" 1230 00:57:08,844 --> 00:57:10,763 Oh, look, that guy-- that's a great coat. 1231 00:57:10,764 --> 00:57:12,265 -Maybe I wanna get that coat. -Wow. 1232 00:57:12,264 --> 00:57:14,600 -Oh, a taxi! -Oh, look, there's a taxi. 1233 00:57:14,601 --> 00:57:16,561 We're taking in New York. 1234 00:57:16,561 --> 00:57:19,064 Also, the seat creases there. I don't wanna sit in the sink. 1235 00:57:19,063 --> 00:57:20,647 If you don't like the streets, don't live in New York. 1236 00:57:20,648 --> 00:57:22,400 Also, I like to look at you in the eye. 1237 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,361 I like to have a conversation with you eye to eye. 1238 00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,737 Are you gonna pull up a chair right there and then-- 1239 00:57:26,737 --> 00:57:28,113 Exactly! Exactly, that's so rude. 1240 00:57:28,447 --> 00:57:31,158 - It only makes sense. -Something's different. 1241 00:57:33,911 --> 00:57:36,288 You guys are more into each other than you were before. 1242 00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:42,920 -That-- I mean, yeah. - No. 1243 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:44,713 It's, uh... 1244 00:57:44,713 --> 00:57:47,049 You've noticed that we have a... 1245 00:57:47,050 --> 00:57:48,677 -Have a freelance. -We upgraded. 1246 00:57:48,677 --> 00:57:51,221 We're freelancing an upgraded relationship. 1247 00:57:51,221 --> 00:57:52,722 Yeah, a freelance relationship. 1248 00:57:52,722 --> 00:57:56,059 Oh, a free-- a freelance relationship? 1249 00:57:56,059 --> 00:57:57,727 Funny you should ask because... 1250 00:57:57,726 --> 00:58:01,313 Because a freelance relationship is, uh... 1251 00:58:01,313 --> 00:58:04,900 a relationship where you are... 1252 00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:07,736 Given your status, you have a fair amount of benefits. 1253 00:58:07,737 --> 00:58:10,073 You have a certain amount of relationship benefits. 1254 00:58:10,072 --> 00:58:14,660 Benefits that you can take, and you leave the awful ones. 1255 00:58:14,661 --> 00:58:16,746 So it's friends without benefits. 1256 00:58:16,746 --> 00:58:19,958 Depending on your employer and your insurance package. 1257 00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:21,626 -Boom. -It's a bit I'm working on. 1258 00:58:21,626 --> 00:58:23,670 -You got yours wallet-size? -I did, actually. 1259 00:58:23,670 --> 00:58:26,006 -It's really nice. Here, I made you one too. -Oh, thank you. 1260 00:58:27,132 --> 00:58:28,967 Let me see this. 1261 00:58:28,967 --> 00:58:30,301 And look, laminated. 1262 00:58:30,300 --> 00:58:32,386 You went to Staples, 1263 00:58:32,387 --> 00:58:34,014 and took a little piece of paper, 1264 00:58:34,014 --> 00:58:35,849 and made them laminate it? 1265 00:58:35,849 --> 00:58:38,226 -Why are you so invested? -What is this? Do you litigate? 1266 00:58:38,226 --> 00:58:40,437 Okay, can you guys stop talking? 1267 00:58:41,353 --> 00:58:44,440 I called you here today because, um... 1268 00:58:53,615 --> 00:58:54,700 Yes! 1269 00:58:55,952 --> 00:58:57,328 Yes! 1270 00:58:57,327 --> 00:58:59,872 Yes, put it on, put it on! 1271 00:58:59,873 --> 00:59:02,917 -Okay, seriously, though, that is-- -That is-- 1272 00:59:02,916 --> 00:59:04,293 Amazing! 1273 00:59:04,293 --> 00:59:06,837 Yeah, I'm gonna ask her on Thanksgiving. 1274 00:59:06,838 --> 00:59:09,049 -Wow. -You wanna touch the box? 1275 00:59:09,048 --> 00:59:11,175 -Yeah, it's velvet. -This whole relationship 1276 00:59:11,175 --> 00:59:13,969 is moving at seventh grade speeds. 1277 00:59:13,969 --> 00:59:15,929 -Yeah, we're doing... -It is, kind of. 1278 00:59:20,976 --> 00:59:23,645 Is it messed up if... 1279 00:59:24,646 --> 00:59:26,190 Huh, okay. 1280 00:59:26,190 --> 00:59:30,444 Do I owe this girl-- woman a breakup text 1281 00:59:30,445 --> 00:59:33,073 if we only went on one date? 1282 00:59:33,072 --> 00:59:34,740 No. 1283 00:59:34,740 --> 00:59:37,368 Maybe, honestly, if you had sex with her. 1284 00:59:37,369 --> 00:59:39,371 -Did you have sex with her? -No. 1285 00:59:39,371 --> 00:59:41,664 Well, then you don't really need to explain anything. 1286 00:59:41,664 --> 00:59:44,042 It's not really ghosting if there's no sex involved 1287 00:59:44,041 --> 00:59:46,126 or if you went on more than one date. 1288 00:59:47,711 --> 00:59:50,005 Okay, I lied. We had sex, we had sex. 1289 00:59:50,005 --> 00:59:51,548 Then you should probably send a text. 1290 00:59:51,548 --> 00:59:54,009 You should send, like, a simple breakup text. 1291 00:59:54,010 --> 00:59:56,721 But I feel like if I do that, then she's gonna think 1292 00:59:56,721 --> 00:59:59,474 that it's because we had sex, but it's not. 1293 00:59:59,474 --> 01:00:02,769 It's because... I just didn't like her. 1294 01:00:02,768 --> 01:00:03,769 Oh. 1295 01:00:03,769 --> 01:00:05,312 She just... 1296 01:00:05,313 --> 01:00:07,273 I feel like that sounds harsh, but she... 1297 01:00:07,273 --> 01:00:10,110 It does. 1298 01:00:10,110 --> 01:00:14,072 She just wasn't it. She just, she just wasn't it. 1299 01:00:14,072 --> 01:00:17,701 She kept asking what time I was born, and that was the only question 1300 01:00:17,701 --> 01:00:20,120 she asked about my personal life at all. 1301 01:00:20,119 --> 01:00:21,995 The whole date. And then at the end of the night, 1302 01:00:21,996 --> 01:00:24,791 she was like, "Have a wonderful night," 1303 01:00:24,791 --> 01:00:27,961 just like in this weird tone, like Mary Poppins tone. 1304 01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,879 -Mm-hmm. -And she lives in Murray Hill, so. 1305 01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:33,091 -Oh, very dramatic. -That is a no. 1306 01:00:33,090 --> 01:00:34,258 Well, why don't you just be like, 1307 01:00:34,259 --> 01:00:38,138 "Hey, you know, date was fine, 1308 01:00:38,137 --> 01:00:41,181 we're better as friends"? 1309 01:00:41,181 --> 01:00:43,934 I don't wanna see her again. I don't wanna see her again. 1310 01:00:43,934 --> 01:00:47,938 Okay, then just be like, "Hey, I'm not looking for anything serious." 1311 01:00:47,938 --> 01:00:50,024 Well, that'd be lying. 1312 01:00:50,025 --> 01:00:53,153 Okay, then just don't say anything at all. 1313 01:00:53,152 --> 01:00:55,362 Okay, settled. I won't say anything. 1314 01:00:55,362 --> 01:00:56,822 -Boom. Nailed it. -Easy. 1315 01:00:59,451 --> 01:01:00,452 Boom. 1316 01:01:01,452 --> 01:01:03,245 Could you pass me a fortune cookie? 1317 01:01:03,246 --> 01:01:05,749 No, it is bad luck to eat a fortune cookie 1318 01:01:05,748 --> 01:01:07,541 before you have finished your meal. 1319 01:01:07,541 --> 01:01:10,502 -Okay. That makes sense. -You're welcome. 1320 01:01:10,503 --> 01:01:14,591 Just gonna... get some dinner running. 1321 01:01:16,384 --> 01:01:19,763 - God. So smooth. 1322 01:01:27,686 --> 01:01:30,939 -What if we became boyfriend and girlfriend? 1323 01:01:30,940 --> 01:01:32,942 Yeah, what if we were boyfriend and girlfriend? 1324 01:01:32,942 --> 01:01:36,112 -No, I'm serious. -It's a great idea. 1325 01:01:36,112 --> 01:01:38,031 What if we were exclusive? 1326 01:01:39,365 --> 01:01:41,116 But you don't want that. 1327 01:01:41,117 --> 01:01:42,202 Yeah, I do. 1328 01:01:43,869 --> 01:01:47,122 Wait, why are-- why are you doing this? 1329 01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:53,171 Because I think that we would be good together? 1330 01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:54,171 Mm-hmm. 1331 01:01:54,922 --> 01:01:57,257 And I like what we're doing. 1332 01:01:58,092 --> 01:02:00,803 You know, we're-- we're-- we have this great thing where 1333 01:02:00,804 --> 01:02:03,390 we're allowed to be single but not be lonely. 1334 01:02:03,389 --> 01:02:06,892 -Like, that's the dream. -Oh, I don't know. 1335 01:02:06,893 --> 01:02:08,353 I feel like we have two different versions 1336 01:02:08,353 --> 01:02:09,938 of what a dream is. 1337 01:02:12,898 --> 01:02:17,820 Okay, well, then maybe we should stop. 1338 01:02:19,155 --> 01:02:20,865 Stop what? 1339 01:02:20,864 --> 01:02:23,784 Stop hanging out, stop talking every day, 1340 01:02:23,784 --> 01:02:27,121 stop watching TV shows together. 1341 01:02:27,121 --> 01:02:28,122 Okay. 1342 01:02:30,833 --> 01:02:34,086 That's cool, but the thing is... 1343 01:02:38,090 --> 01:02:39,383 I love you. 1344 01:02:42,177 --> 01:02:43,178 -I love you. 1345 01:02:44,431 --> 01:02:46,266 I'm sorry. 1346 01:02:46,266 --> 01:02:48,101 You don't love me. 1347 01:02:48,101 --> 01:02:49,644 There's no way, you don't love me! 1348 01:02:49,643 --> 01:02:51,478 How could you love me? 1349 01:02:55,483 --> 01:02:57,819 What do you mean how could I love you? 1350 01:02:57,818 --> 01:03:00,237 What-- we spend so much time together. 1351 01:03:00,237 --> 01:03:04,116 -Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, you love everyone. -We're always-- 1352 01:03:04,117 --> 01:03:06,661 You love everyone and everything. 1353 01:03:08,704 --> 01:03:09,788 You're afraid. 1354 01:03:10,914 --> 01:03:12,708 -You're afraid. -Excuse me? 1355 01:03:12,708 --> 01:03:14,918 -You're afraid. -What are you even talking about? 1356 01:03:14,918 --> 01:03:18,047 -You're afraid to be loved. -That's not fair. I'm not afraid. 1357 01:03:18,047 --> 01:03:19,131 You... 1358 01:03:20,925 --> 01:03:25,221 So if it's going good, you like it, you're having a good time, 1359 01:03:25,221 --> 01:03:28,725 which is what you said, we're havin' a good time, what's stopping you? 1360 01:03:28,724 --> 01:03:31,935 Okay, okay, you wanna know what happens? What happens when we date? 1361 01:03:31,936 --> 01:03:33,688 Let's just say we start dating, all right? 1362 01:03:33,688 --> 01:03:36,483 And then suddenly, there are all these expectations 1363 01:03:36,483 --> 01:03:37,859 and they just keep piling, and piling, 1364 01:03:37,858 --> 01:03:39,568 and piling, and piling, and piling, 1365 01:03:39,568 --> 01:03:42,029 and then suddenly, you know, I'm getting mad at you, 1366 01:03:42,030 --> 01:03:44,908 because, you know, you're not, you're not expressing your feelings well enough 1367 01:03:44,907 --> 01:03:47,534 or you don't even wanna come near me, 1368 01:03:47,534 --> 01:03:49,787 because I'm suffocating you all the time. 1369 01:03:49,788 --> 01:03:52,415 And then we finally get to the point where we break up, 1370 01:03:52,414 --> 01:03:54,416 and we never see each other again, 1371 01:03:54,416 --> 01:03:57,753 and we have no friends, and we're just alone. 1372 01:03:59,005 --> 01:04:01,132 That wouldn't happen. 1373 01:04:01,132 --> 01:04:03,259 That wouldn't happen. 1374 01:04:03,259 --> 01:04:04,260 Not to us. 1375 01:04:06,429 --> 01:04:07,847 You're afraid of being alone. 1376 01:04:07,847 --> 01:04:09,099 I'm not afraid of being alone. 1377 01:04:09,099 --> 01:04:10,684 I love bein' alone. 1378 01:04:10,684 --> 01:04:12,977 I've been alone so much. 1379 01:04:12,976 --> 01:04:14,353 I just wanna be alone with you. 1380 01:04:14,353 --> 01:04:16,397 And I wanna be alone alone. 1381 01:05:20,670 --> 01:05:25,258 -I haven't even thought about her in what? Uh, three weeks. 1382 01:05:25,257 --> 01:05:30,387 -I can't even-- it-- it's so far out of mind at this point. -That's great! 1383 01:05:30,387 --> 01:05:33,432 - I can't get Milo out of my head. 1384 01:05:33,432 --> 01:05:36,560 Mm, I'm sorry, it'll pass. Remember, half the time you were together 1385 01:05:36,561 --> 01:05:38,355 equals the time it takes to get over them. 1386 01:05:38,355 --> 01:05:40,774 It's math. I'm basically a scientist. 1387 01:05:40,773 --> 01:05:43,317 We were supposed to be the unsinkable relationship, you know? 1388 01:05:43,318 --> 01:05:46,613 -Like the Titanic. -The Titanic sunk, dude. 1389 01:05:46,612 --> 01:05:48,030 But the love lasts forever. 1390 01:05:48,030 --> 01:05:49,406 I'm worried I made a mistake. 1391 01:05:49,407 --> 01:05:51,910 No, it didn't work out, that's okay. 1392 01:05:51,909 --> 01:05:54,828 Just 'cause it ends doesn't mean it wasn't a successful thing when it was happening. 1393 01:05:54,829 --> 01:05:57,248 -You know what I mean? -Yeah, but what if I didn't give it a real shot? 1394 01:05:57,248 --> 01:05:59,751 -I always do this to myself. -Is this self-sabotage? 1395 01:05:59,751 --> 01:06:01,836 I mean, I really just hope that she found somebody that she likes. 1396 01:06:01,835 --> 01:06:03,962 Like, I'm good, I just hope she's good. 1397 01:06:03,963 --> 01:06:07,008 What? Why are you wishing-- look, look, 1398 01:06:07,007 --> 01:06:09,968 you are being way too hard on yourself, okay? 1399 01:06:09,969 --> 01:06:12,889 You guys weren't supposed to be "not together" together anyways. 1400 01:06:12,889 --> 01:06:15,183 I mean, how can you even break up when-- 1401 01:06:15,182 --> 01:06:17,351 -You weren't even dating. - It's for the best. 1402 01:06:17,351 --> 01:06:19,353 I'm sure he'll just fall in love with the next girl 1403 01:06:19,353 --> 01:06:21,105 he locks eyes with on the L train. 1404 01:06:21,106 --> 01:06:23,858 -Have you spoken to each other? -Have you spoken to her? 1405 01:06:23,858 --> 01:06:25,485 -No. -I accidentally viewed her LinkedIn. 1406 01:06:25,485 --> 01:06:27,904 Well, he viewed my LinkedIn. 1407 01:06:27,903 --> 01:06:29,780 -How is he? -How is she? 1408 01:06:29,780 --> 01:06:32,116 -You'll see her at the wedding. -You'll see him at the wedding. 1409 01:06:32,117 --> 01:06:33,785 -Are you alone? -Wait, who are you talking to? 1410 01:06:33,784 --> 01:06:35,744 -Oh, I'm with Hank. -I'm with Jess. 1411 01:06:35,744 --> 01:06:37,413 -Pi-pa-po. -That's so cute. 1412 01:06:37,414 --> 01:06:38,581 Cute. 1413 01:06:38,581 --> 01:06:40,125 Are you seeing anyone? 1414 01:06:40,125 --> 01:06:41,834 I'm just sort of, like, dating myself right now. 1415 01:06:41,835 --> 01:06:44,921 Yeah, just-- yeah, and I'm really happy about it. 1416 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:46,547 Yeah, actually, this guy. 1417 01:06:46,547 --> 01:06:48,424 He's in finance, he works constantly, 1418 01:06:48,425 --> 01:06:49,968 and he's completely emotionally unavailable, 1419 01:06:49,967 --> 01:06:52,469 which is perfect, and I'm really happy. 1420 01:06:52,469 --> 01:06:54,096 That's great. 1421 01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:55,682 Dating sucks. 1422 01:06:55,681 --> 01:06:57,933 - Uh-huh. 1423 01:06:58,809 --> 01:06:59,810 Absolutely. 1424 01:07:00,728 --> 01:07:05,107 Well, we can definitely be there Monday if we have to. 1425 01:07:05,108 --> 01:07:07,527 I would never say we won't. 1426 01:07:07,527 --> 01:07:09,154 Okay. 1427 01:07:09,153 --> 01:07:11,155 Absolutamente. 1428 01:07:11,155 --> 01:07:13,157 No, we're delighted. 1429 01:07:13,157 --> 01:07:14,950 You kidding me? This is great! 1430 01:07:14,951 --> 01:07:17,495 -So, hey. - This was Trent Wilkinson, 1431 01:07:17,494 --> 01:07:21,081 an incredibly emotionally unavailable 34-year-old 1432 01:07:21,081 --> 01:07:24,626 who lied about his age to make the Feingold 30 Under 30 list 1433 01:07:24,626 --> 01:07:28,881 for selling his sock company, GotSoxx, spelt with two Xs. 1434 01:07:28,882 --> 01:07:31,885 He DM'd Wendy on Instagram after finding her geo tag 1435 01:07:31,885 --> 01:07:33,803 at Surf Lodge in Montauk. 1436 01:07:33,802 --> 01:07:36,263 Wendy had spent the last three weekends 1437 01:07:36,264 --> 01:07:37,932 at Trent's apartment in Tribeca 1438 01:07:37,931 --> 01:07:40,476 and even had her own toothbrush. 1439 01:07:40,476 --> 01:07:44,480 Attention, uh, Kmart shoppers, I'm gonna be presenting 1440 01:07:44,481 --> 01:07:47,233 to, like, a whole bunch of restaurant groups 1441 01:07:47,233 --> 01:07:49,277 because they said that my app is brilliant. 1442 01:07:49,277 --> 01:07:52,614 -Wow! That's amazing! That's so amazing! -Yeah! I know. 1443 01:07:52,614 --> 01:07:55,116 Oh, my God! I mean, it is brilliant and you're brilliant. 1444 01:07:55,115 --> 01:07:57,242 -Yeah. Makes sense right? -Yeah. It does. 1445 01:07:57,242 --> 01:08:00,245 -But, yeah. -It makes perfect sense. When are you, um, leaving, then? 1446 01:08:00,246 --> 01:08:04,459 Uh, it's, like, Sunday. 1447 01:08:05,418 --> 01:08:07,295 Sunday night. 1448 01:08:07,295 --> 01:08:09,881 Sunday, like tomorrow? 1449 01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:13,175 Uh, yeah. 1450 01:08:13,175 --> 01:08:16,053 -Tomorrow, uh-- tomorrow night. -Awesome. 1451 01:08:16,054 --> 01:08:18,431 Awesome, and how long are you gonna be gone? 1452 01:08:18,430 --> 01:08:21,100 They said, uh, it was gonna be like meetings, 1453 01:08:21,100 --> 01:08:22,976 and greetings, and stuff like that 1454 01:08:22,976 --> 01:08:25,145 for, like, a couple of weeks. 1455 01:08:25,145 --> 01:08:26,438 -Wow! -Yeah. 1456 01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:28,733 -That's amazing! -Yeah. 1457 01:08:28,733 --> 01:08:32,570 No, I know, it just, uh, maybe we could, like, uh, 1458 01:08:33,529 --> 01:08:37,449 just kinda slow her down a little bit. 1459 01:08:37,783 --> 01:08:40,369 Yeah, I-- I know. I-- yeah, I mean. 1460 01:08:40,369 --> 01:08:45,082 Just, like, pull the car over for a bit. 1461 01:08:45,291 --> 01:08:47,085 -Oh. -Bad metaphor. 1462 01:08:47,085 --> 01:08:48,461 Uh, just slow down. 1463 01:08:52,673 --> 01:08:55,217 While Wendy sold all her stock in Trent, 1464 01:08:55,217 --> 01:08:57,261 Milo was three stops into the one 1465 01:08:57,261 --> 01:09:00,556 on his way to a John Mayer concert. 1466 01:09:00,556 --> 01:09:04,059 Did I tell you about the time that I got a fortune cookie? 1467 01:09:04,060 --> 01:09:06,938 -No fortune in the fortune cookie. -No. 1468 01:09:06,938 --> 01:09:11,901 Her name was Jenna Brookes, and she was a recent graduate of NYU's Gallatin program 1469 01:09:11,900 --> 01:09:15,195 where she wrote her thesis on the life, death, and rebirth 1470 01:09:15,195 --> 01:09:18,282 of chivalry in millennial dating culture. 1471 01:09:18,283 --> 01:09:20,535 Yeah, there was no fortune in the fortune cookie. 1472 01:09:20,534 --> 01:09:23,287 -That's crazy, yeah. -That's crazy. 1473 01:09:23,287 --> 01:09:25,164 -What's wrong? 1474 01:09:25,164 --> 01:09:26,582 -Nothing. No. -Something's wrong, what's wrong? 1475 01:09:26,582 --> 01:09:28,751 -No, I'm excited. -No, you're not. 1476 01:09:28,752 --> 01:09:30,462 -Yes, I am. -You're not excited, something's up. 1477 01:09:30,462 --> 01:09:32,213 -No. -We're going to see John Mayer. 1478 01:09:32,212 --> 01:09:35,049 -Yay! -You don't seem stoked. 1479 01:09:35,050 --> 01:09:37,218 -No, I'm excited. -Something's wrong. 1480 01:09:37,217 --> 01:09:39,553 ♪ Something is wrong ♪ 1481 01:09:39,554 --> 01:09:40,847 I'm not going to stop bothering you 1482 01:09:40,846 --> 01:09:42,473 until you tell me what's wrong. 1483 01:09:42,474 --> 01:09:45,226 I think-- I think we want different things. 1484 01:09:45,225 --> 01:09:46,393 What? 1485 01:09:46,394 --> 01:09:47,687 What, what do you mean? 1486 01:09:47,686 --> 01:09:49,480 What are you talking about? 1487 01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:52,316 I don't-- I don't think I see a future with us. 1488 01:09:55,319 --> 01:09:56,320 No. 1489 01:09:57,363 --> 01:09:58,906 You FaceTimed my mom. 1490 01:09:58,907 --> 01:10:00,533 -Yes, that was-- -I let you FaceTime my mom. 1491 01:10:00,533 --> 01:10:02,202 Well, she's wonderful. I loved her! 1492 01:10:02,202 --> 01:10:04,204 Oh, I wish that we-- I love her. 1493 01:10:04,203 --> 01:10:05,746 The next stop is Heartbreak Boulevard. 1494 01:10:05,747 --> 01:10:09,042 I think you, uh, I like you. 1495 01:10:09,042 --> 01:10:11,544 You deserve someone great, so... 1496 01:10:16,091 --> 01:10:19,052 No, I'm sorry, I don't wanna kiss you. 1497 01:10:19,051 --> 01:10:20,386 Okay, don't cry. 1498 01:10:20,386 --> 01:10:22,096 I have to-- I have to go. 1499 01:10:22,096 --> 01:10:23,847 - Dang it! 1500 01:10:23,847 --> 01:10:25,432 Things turn around, they change. 1501 01:10:25,432 --> 01:10:27,976 That sounds like it should be encouraging, 1502 01:10:27,976 --> 01:10:30,270 but it's actually really depressing. 1503 01:10:30,270 --> 01:10:32,231 Okay, new topic. 1504 01:10:32,231 --> 01:10:35,275 Uh, the podcast thing. The podcast thing. 1505 01:10:35,275 --> 01:10:37,945 Did you-- did you start it? You should start it. 1506 01:10:37,945 --> 01:10:41,073 Yeah. Yeah, I'm probably gonna do some, some episodes. 1507 01:10:41,073 --> 01:10:43,200 I just gotta get a microphone, 1508 01:10:43,201 --> 01:10:44,786 and then come up with some ideas 1509 01:10:44,786 --> 01:10:46,830 for episodes and the podcast. 1510 01:10:46,829 --> 01:10:48,997 Well, here's an idea. You should have me on as a guest. 1511 01:10:48,997 --> 01:10:50,958 Maybe not like your first guest out of the gate, 1512 01:10:50,958 --> 01:10:53,377 but let me-- I quit this place, 1513 01:10:53,377 --> 01:10:55,796 I'm gonna spill all the tea on everybody. 1514 01:10:55,796 --> 01:10:57,506 I mean, there's some stuff that's going on in here 1515 01:10:57,506 --> 01:10:59,049 that I think the listeners 1516 01:10:59,050 --> 01:11:00,677 would wanna know. 1517 01:11:00,676 --> 01:11:02,344 -Oh. -Yeah. 1518 01:11:02,345 --> 01:11:04,806 Come on, man, I miss you smilin'. 1519 01:11:04,805 --> 01:11:05,889 You're, like, one of the few reasons 1520 01:11:05,890 --> 01:11:07,183 why I stay in this place. 1521 01:11:07,182 --> 01:11:08,434 The phone never stops here-- 1522 01:11:08,435 --> 01:11:11,312 -Front desk. 1523 01:11:11,311 --> 01:11:12,563 At a bar in Hell's Kitchen, 1524 01:11:12,564 --> 01:11:14,232 where she would never return, 1525 01:11:14,231 --> 01:11:16,233 Wendy listened to a man she met at Whole Foods 1526 01:11:16,234 --> 01:11:18,361 talk about his screenplay that would never get made. 1527 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,070 Yeah, so the script's back at my place 1528 01:11:20,070 --> 01:11:22,865 -if you wanna come read it. -So this is really fun. 1529 01:11:22,865 --> 01:11:26,285 Um, I might-- I'm gonna go to the bathroom first before that. 1530 01:11:26,286 --> 01:11:29,289 -Lovely invite, thank you. -We can go right now. 1531 01:11:29,288 --> 01:11:31,582 -I'm actually right around the corner. -Um... yeah. 1532 01:11:31,582 --> 01:11:33,125 You know, uh, I could play the lead or, 1533 01:11:33,126 --> 01:11:34,961 -or you could play the lead. -Yep. 1534 01:11:34,961 --> 01:11:38,173 -It's sort of a strong female heroine. -Yep. 1535 01:11:38,172 --> 01:11:40,507 And, you know, we're thinking... 1536 01:11:44,429 --> 01:11:46,139 Hello, hello, hello. 1537 01:11:46,139 --> 01:11:49,309 I only got about five, so let's keep 'em comin'. 1538 01:11:49,309 --> 01:11:51,102 Hey, hey, yeah, um, okay, um, 1539 01:11:51,101 --> 01:11:52,436 so who paid for dinner? 1540 01:11:52,436 --> 01:11:54,146 He did, but I did offer to split, 1541 01:11:54,146 --> 01:11:55,939 and then he insisted on doing it, 1542 01:11:55,939 --> 01:11:57,691 so I was like, "Whatever, this is terrible anyway." 1543 01:11:57,692 --> 01:11:59,527 Will you ever see him again? 1544 01:11:59,527 --> 01:12:01,321 You know, I like to go into these things open-minded. 1545 01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:03,697 You know, if it goes well, it goes well, but-- 1546 01:12:03,698 --> 01:12:05,241 Look, we all know dating sucks, 1547 01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,450 but wouldn't you just rather be with Milo 1548 01:12:06,451 --> 01:12:07,952 than keep this up? 1549 01:12:11,081 --> 01:12:14,751 Is this an interview or is it a therapy session? 1550 01:12:14,751 --> 01:12:16,961 -Thank you so much, goodnight. 1551 01:14:40,979 --> 01:14:43,816 So, Milo, you just got your heart broken. 1552 01:14:43,817 --> 01:14:46,986 How are you feeling? What's going through your mind right now? 1553 01:14:46,985 --> 01:14:49,697 Uh, thanks for having me, I'm really excited to be here. 1554 01:14:49,698 --> 01:14:52,325 I am completely dead inside. 1555 01:14:52,324 --> 01:14:54,743 I feel nothing. 1556 01:14:54,743 --> 01:14:57,996 I feel like a no one, a nobody. 1557 01:14:57,997 --> 01:15:01,584 I haven't showered in a long time. 1558 01:15:01,583 --> 01:15:03,877 Wow, that's amazing! 1559 01:15:03,877 --> 01:15:07,006 Everybody, give it up for this guy, he's so good. 1560 01:15:07,006 --> 01:15:10,300 So are you wondering why maybe the breakup happened? 1561 01:15:10,301 --> 01:15:11,803 Do you think it's something that you said 1562 01:15:11,802 --> 01:15:13,512 or maybe something that you didn't say 1563 01:15:13,512 --> 01:15:16,515 or are you just totally broken as a human being? 1564 01:15:16,515 --> 01:15:19,685 I'm sort of like a cracked iPhone screen right now. 1565 01:15:19,685 --> 01:15:24,148 Yeah, you could fix me, but it's probably best to just upgrade to the next 1566 01:15:24,149 --> 01:15:26,693 and better thing. 1567 01:15:26,693 --> 01:15:29,654 All right, everybody, that's all the time that we have. 1568 01:15:29,654 --> 01:15:31,406 Give it up again for Milo. 1569 01:15:31,405 --> 01:15:34,825 He's so good, he's so funny, isn't he great? 1570 01:15:34,826 --> 01:15:35,952 Isn't he amazing? 1571 01:15:35,952 --> 01:15:38,163 Isn't he great? 1572 01:15:38,162 --> 01:15:39,455 Isn't he so good? 1573 01:15:39,456 --> 01:15:42,250 Milo's so great, he's so good! 1574 01:15:42,250 --> 01:15:43,250 Isn't he great? 1575 01:15:43,251 --> 01:15:44,711 Isn't he amazing? 1576 01:15:44,711 --> 01:15:46,171 Isn't he great? 1577 01:15:46,171 --> 01:15:48,048 Isn't he amazing, isn't he so good? 1578 01:15:48,047 --> 01:15:49,173 Such a good catch. 1579 01:15:49,173 --> 01:15:51,508 So funny, so good, so funny. 1580 01:15:51,509 --> 01:15:55,096 You're strong, you care, you're a catch, you're humble. 1581 01:15:55,095 --> 01:15:56,638 You're-- you're underappreciated. 1582 01:15:56,639 --> 01:16:01,269 You, um... You're trying. 1583 01:16:01,269 --> 01:16:05,732 You're trying, you're trying, you're, um... 1584 01:16:07,024 --> 01:16:08,942 Ugh, I love New York. 1585 01:16:08,943 --> 01:16:10,487 The only place where you can get toilet paper, 1586 01:16:10,487 --> 01:16:11,738 a toothbrush, and a turkey bacon sandwich 1587 01:16:11,738 --> 01:16:13,656 all in one place. 1588 01:16:13,655 --> 01:16:17,159 This is a decent one, but I really like a "bougdega" 1589 01:16:17,159 --> 01:16:19,203 -instead of just a plain bodega. - Oh, no. 1590 01:16:19,203 --> 01:16:21,246 -You know what I'm sayin'? -This is, this is New York. 1591 01:16:21,247 --> 01:16:22,916 -This has everything. -Yes, I know the rent is gonna go up, 1592 01:16:22,916 --> 01:16:25,126 but the gluten-free pasta is kind of worth it. 1593 01:16:25,126 --> 01:16:26,544 Yeah, but I wanna see a cat. 1594 01:16:26,543 --> 01:16:28,671 Oh, planning a wedding is so stressful! 1595 01:16:28,671 --> 01:16:31,298 Come on, man, I don't know why you're so stressed about this. 1596 01:16:31,298 --> 01:16:33,342 You're getting married to the love of your life. 1597 01:16:33,342 --> 01:16:35,219 Didn't you get like a wedding planner or something like that? 1598 01:16:35,220 --> 01:16:36,721 No, do you know how much they cost? 1599 01:16:36,720 --> 01:16:39,056 I watch a lot of wedding videos on YouTube, 1600 01:16:39,056 --> 01:16:42,142 I could do it for like 800. But I do like a minimal fare sort of thing. 1601 01:16:42,143 --> 01:16:44,854 -Yeah, thank you, thank you. -Small invite list. 1602 01:16:44,854 --> 01:16:47,732 an article Which is good, because I read We're doing it together! 1603 01:16:47,731 --> 01:16:49,900 that said that couples that plan together stay together. 1604 01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:51,026 What was that, a late daily? 1605 01:16:51,027 --> 01:16:53,988 No, it was a meme on Instagram. 1606 01:16:53,988 --> 01:16:55,657 How do you know that she's the one? 1607 01:16:55,657 --> 01:16:56,658 Jessie. 1608 01:16:57,867 --> 01:16:59,452 Oh, I don't know. 1609 01:17:00,578 --> 01:17:03,039 I guess I don't think about it. 1610 01:17:03,038 --> 01:17:06,500 I guess we both just don't overthink it. 1611 01:17:06,501 --> 01:17:07,585 Well, what if you're in a relationship 1612 01:17:07,585 --> 01:17:09,629 and you're both like prone 1613 01:17:09,628 --> 01:17:11,964 to overthinking things, then? 1614 01:17:11,965 --> 01:17:13,466 If you need to get over this girl, 1615 01:17:13,466 --> 01:17:15,010 you need to delete all the apps, okay? 1616 01:17:15,010 --> 01:17:17,220 No Venmo, no Instagram. No Twitter, none of it. 1617 01:17:17,220 --> 01:17:18,888 Because if you don't, you'll be getting into this space, 1618 01:17:18,887 --> 01:17:20,681 which is like this weird spiral depression 1619 01:17:20,681 --> 01:17:22,808 Where you become very annoying and a hypochondriac. 1620 01:17:22,809 --> 01:17:25,895 -Did I tell you that I found a lump? -Where'd you find a lump? 1621 01:17:25,895 --> 01:17:27,689 -Right there. -That's your Adam's apple. 1622 01:17:27,689 --> 01:17:29,065 That's not what the internet said. 1623 01:17:29,064 --> 01:17:30,816 -So you're gonna reach out? -No. 1624 01:17:30,817 --> 01:17:32,485 That would just make her mad, so I'm not gonna do it. 1625 01:17:32,484 --> 01:17:34,153 I'm just gonna fall back, give her her space. 1626 01:17:34,154 --> 01:17:35,321 -That's it. -Really? 1627 01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:36,989 No grand romantic gesture? 1628 01:17:36,989 --> 01:17:39,283 That stuff is the take-me-back-culture thing. 1629 01:17:39,283 --> 01:17:41,326 No, that's toxic, it's a disease, 1630 01:17:41,327 --> 01:17:43,246 and I'm gonna be the cure, 1631 01:17:43,246 --> 01:17:45,040 even if that means I never get to tell her that I love her. 1632 01:17:45,039 --> 01:17:46,498 Right, you've told her that you love her. 1633 01:17:46,498 --> 01:17:47,541 Yeah, but I mean tell her I love her 1634 01:17:47,542 --> 01:17:49,336 and mean it, you know? 1635 01:17:49,336 --> 01:17:50,795 Like, I love you. 1636 01:17:50,795 --> 01:17:53,173 Like, like-- what's that? 1637 01:17:53,172 --> 01:17:55,632 -Incense, Jessie loves it. 1638 01:17:55,632 --> 01:17:57,509 She likes bodega incense? 1639 01:17:58,845 --> 01:18:00,680 Wendy cherished New York 1640 01:18:00,680 --> 01:18:02,932 for its endless encounters with the people you love 1641 01:18:02,931 --> 01:18:05,142 and the places you learn to love them. 1642 01:18:33,003 --> 01:18:34,004 Sir. 1643 01:18:37,509 --> 01:18:39,719 By now, you've probably figured out 1644 01:18:39,719 --> 01:18:43,139 that I am that soothing, old voice you've been hearing 1645 01:18:43,139 --> 01:18:45,809 holding your hand through this tale of commitment. 1646 01:18:45,809 --> 01:18:48,895 Did I mention that I also moonlight as a voice-over artist? 1647 01:18:48,895 --> 01:18:51,481 -Hang on. 1648 01:18:51,480 --> 01:18:53,691 -Wendy! -Hey! 1649 01:18:53,692 --> 01:18:56,444 -Hi! -Cole, what are you doing here? 1650 01:18:56,444 --> 01:18:58,363 -My job. -Oh, wow. 1651 01:18:59,238 --> 01:19:00,239 What's up? 1652 01:19:01,990 --> 01:19:03,659 -You okay? -Yeah, I'm great. 1653 01:19:03,659 --> 01:19:05,494 I'm great, I'm not here to see Milo. What? 1654 01:19:05,494 --> 01:19:07,538 -What? -Who said that? 1655 01:19:07,538 --> 01:19:12,084 No, no, I'm here to-- to go to a meeting. 1656 01:19:12,085 --> 01:19:14,421 -I'm here to go to a meeting, a meeting. -Oh, here. 1657 01:19:14,421 --> 01:19:17,298 No, no, no, no, no, just in the area. 1658 01:19:17,798 --> 01:19:20,634 It's this way. Um... It's this way. 1659 01:19:20,635 --> 01:19:22,470 -Okay. -So bye. 1660 01:19:22,470 --> 01:19:23,930 -Bye. -Bye. 1661 01:19:27,016 --> 01:19:30,561 I love a good New York love story. 1662 01:19:30,561 --> 01:19:32,604 The city, you know, it's one of the only places 1663 01:19:32,604 --> 01:19:34,023 where you could-- 1664 01:19:35,108 --> 01:19:36,526 -Hi. -Hi. 1665 01:19:36,525 --> 01:19:37,943 -Um... -What's up? 1666 01:19:37,944 --> 01:19:40,655 Just a quick question. It's nice. 1667 01:19:40,654 --> 01:19:44,575 Um, is Milo, uh, upstairs? 1668 01:19:45,618 --> 01:19:47,328 Yeah, nope. 1669 01:19:47,328 --> 01:19:49,164 I don't think so. 1670 01:19:49,163 --> 01:19:50,998 Oh, cool. Cool. Uh... 1671 01:19:50,998 --> 01:19:52,958 Did he maybe say when he was gonna be back? 1672 01:19:52,958 --> 01:19:54,710 If he's maybe gonna be gone all night 1673 01:19:54,711 --> 01:19:56,963 or just like five more minutes? 1674 01:19:56,962 --> 01:19:58,797 -Wendy. -Right. 1675 01:19:58,797 --> 01:20:00,758 -I hate to be the one to tell you this. -Okay. 1676 01:20:00,759 --> 01:20:03,261 I think he's seeing someone. 1677 01:20:07,556 --> 01:20:08,557 Okay. 1678 01:20:09,934 --> 01:20:10,935 Okay. 1679 01:20:12,354 --> 01:20:13,438 I'll see you. 1680 01:20:14,773 --> 01:20:16,608 I'll see you, Wendy. 1681 01:20:18,318 --> 01:20:21,696 Little did she know that Milo wasn't seeing anybody 1682 01:20:21,695 --> 01:20:24,990 and was, in fact, painfully single. 1683 01:20:24,990 --> 01:20:27,701 And where better to doubt your own singlehood 1684 01:20:27,702 --> 01:20:29,788 than under holy matrimony 1685 01:20:29,787 --> 01:20:31,914 at the very bar in which they met, 1686 01:20:31,914 --> 01:20:34,166 where love filled the air-- 1687 01:20:34,167 --> 01:20:37,337 the wedding of Hank and Jessie. 1688 01:20:37,337 --> 01:20:39,631 I'm not sweaty, it's just really hot. 1689 01:20:39,631 --> 01:20:41,049 Okay, I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm nervous. 1690 01:20:41,048 --> 01:20:43,217 Uh, you're gonna do great, man. 1691 01:20:43,217 --> 01:20:44,927 How are you so calm? 1692 01:20:44,927 --> 01:20:47,179 Of course I'm calm. 1693 01:20:47,180 --> 01:20:49,432 I'm marrying the love of my life. 1694 01:20:49,431 --> 01:20:50,933 -I'm proud of you, man. -Thanks. 1695 01:20:50,934 --> 01:20:52,602 I'm so proud of you. I really am. 1696 01:20:52,601 --> 01:20:53,936 So what are you gonna say to her? 1697 01:20:53,936 --> 01:20:55,604 -Who? -Don't "who" me. 1698 01:20:55,604 --> 01:20:57,106 I don't know who you're talking about. 1699 01:20:57,106 --> 01:20:58,107 I love you. 1700 01:20:59,192 --> 01:21:01,861 -Bring it in. -Mm. Thanks. 1701 01:21:01,860 --> 01:21:04,071 And you are not an ugly Jon Hamm, I take it back. 1702 01:21:04,072 --> 01:21:05,615 You are a hot Jon Hamm. 1703 01:22:14,184 --> 01:22:16,019 Everyone, please take your seats. 1704 01:22:18,479 --> 01:22:20,022 The bride and groom would like to share their vows 1705 01:22:20,023 --> 01:22:22,901 with us tonight and with each other. 1706 01:22:22,900 --> 01:22:24,985 -Jessie. -Yeah. 1707 01:22:24,985 --> 01:22:27,821 The first day that I saw you, I pointed at you 1708 01:22:27,822 --> 01:22:30,200 and said, "I am going to marry that girl." 1709 01:22:30,199 --> 01:22:32,159 -I know. 1710 01:22:32,159 --> 01:22:34,036 -Jess, it's my vows. -Okay, sorry. 1711 01:22:34,037 --> 01:22:35,663 -Okay. -You go. 1712 01:22:35,662 --> 01:22:37,790 Mm, no, stop Not yet! Stop, don't do it yet. 1713 01:22:37,791 --> 01:22:39,834 Sorry. 1714 01:22:39,833 --> 01:22:41,293 -Start over. -Okay. 1715 01:22:41,293 --> 01:22:43,128 -Mm-hmm. -First day that happened. 1716 01:22:43,128 --> 01:22:45,214 -Yes. -I was doing it as a joke. 1717 01:22:45,215 --> 01:22:47,884 -Uh-huh. -But you have kept me laughing ever since. 1718 01:22:47,884 --> 01:22:50,595 -Mm-hmm. -I promise to be your best friend 1719 01:22:50,595 --> 01:22:52,931 and to love you always. I love you. 1720 01:22:52,930 --> 01:22:54,598 I love you. 1721 01:22:54,599 --> 01:22:57,435 Hank, a lot of people say that cheesy thing 1722 01:22:57,435 --> 01:22:59,688 where they're like, "I don't always like you, but I love you," 1723 01:22:59,688 --> 01:23:01,773 but I like you and I love you. 1724 01:23:01,773 --> 01:23:05,151 And I don't even care that you always fall asleep 1725 01:23:05,150 --> 01:23:07,069 the second we pick a movie, 1726 01:23:07,069 --> 01:23:08,779 and I don't care that sometimes 1727 01:23:08,779 --> 01:23:10,572 you only respond "ha-ha" to my texts 1728 01:23:10,573 --> 01:23:13,201 and don't add additional info. 1729 01:23:13,201 --> 01:23:15,286 And I really love that we both like that meme 1730 01:23:15,286 --> 01:23:18,707 about birds that look like old ladies wearing hats. 1731 01:23:18,707 --> 01:23:20,333 And I just love you so much 1732 01:23:20,332 --> 01:23:22,835 and I'm the luckiest girl in the world 1733 01:23:22,836 --> 01:23:24,713 that you love me, too. 1734 01:23:24,712 --> 01:23:26,296 Is that good? 1735 01:23:26,296 --> 01:23:27,506 You like that shit? 1736 01:23:30,885 --> 01:23:32,095 Ooh! 1737 01:23:34,055 --> 01:23:35,682 Fashion moment. 1738 01:23:35,681 --> 01:23:37,349 -Same time. -At same time? 1739 01:23:37,350 --> 01:23:40,979 -Okay. -One, two, three. 1740 01:23:40,979 --> 01:23:42,939 You may now kiss the bride. 1741 01:23:47,652 --> 01:23:50,030 All right, let's get drunk. 1742 01:23:58,537 --> 01:24:02,166 ♪ Relive that moon ♪ 1743 01:24:02,167 --> 01:24:06,171 ♪ And starry sky ♪ 1744 01:24:06,171 --> 01:24:11,176 ♪ Heaven writes A lover's song ♪ 1745 01:24:12,886 --> 01:24:19,851 ♪ The reverie of happy dreams ♪ 1746 01:24:19,850 --> 01:24:27,191 ♪ Midnight comes A nightingale sings along ♪ 1747 01:24:27,192 --> 01:24:34,115 ♪ Melody with harmony ♪ 1748 01:24:34,114 --> 01:24:41,163 ♪ Makes a better tune ♪ 1749 01:24:41,163 --> 01:24:44,625 ♪ The night will play ♪ 1750 01:24:44,626 --> 01:24:50,548 ♪ Its serenade to you ♪ 1751 01:24:51,925 --> 01:24:55,261 ♪ Love writes a rhyme ♪ 1752 01:24:55,261 --> 01:24:58,848 ♪ And chance that we find ♪ 1753 01:24:58,847 --> 01:25:01,975 ♪ Magic and beauty ♪ 1754 01:25:01,975 --> 01:25:05,938 ♪ Begin, ah, begun ♪ 1755 01:25:05,939 --> 01:25:12,821 ♪ Dance until morning Drifts along ♪ 1756 01:25:14,738 --> 01:25:18,409 ♪ Listen ♪ 1757 01:25:18,409 --> 01:25:24,665 ♪ And you hear the song ♪ 1758 01:25:45,770 --> 01:25:47,480 Do you not want consistent sex 1759 01:25:47,479 --> 01:25:48,981 without the emotional attachment? 1760 01:25:48,981 --> 01:25:50,524 I want that, but I also want 1761 01:25:50,524 --> 01:25:51,775 the emotional attachment. 1762 01:25:51,775 --> 01:25:53,068 The words "I love you," 1763 01:25:53,069 --> 01:25:54,154 in that order, 1764 01:25:54,154 --> 01:25:55,363 cannot be shared 1765 01:25:55,363 --> 01:25:56,906 with one party to the other. 1766 01:25:56,905 --> 01:25:58,407 You just gotta pick a flavor 1767 01:25:58,408 --> 01:25:59,993 and then just go with that flavor. 1768 01:25:59,993 --> 01:26:02,328 I care about you so much, Milo. 1769 01:26:02,328 --> 01:26:03,830 Will I see you again? 1770 01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:10,837 -Yeah. 1771 01:26:14,716 --> 01:26:16,718 -Hello. Hey, hey, what's up? -Hi, hi. 1772 01:26:16,717 --> 01:26:17,968 -How's it going? 1773 01:26:21,264 --> 01:26:22,932 I really miss you. 1774 01:26:24,600 --> 01:26:26,268 I really miss you. 1775 01:26:27,311 --> 01:26:32,733 And I would really like it if you were back in my life. 1776 01:26:35,110 --> 01:26:37,988 I'd like to be back in your life, too. 1777 01:26:37,988 --> 01:26:43,077 And I promise I'm done trying other flavors. 1778 01:26:44,287 --> 01:26:45,622 I just want one. 1779 01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:51,002 I love you so much. 1780 01:26:53,337 --> 01:26:54,463 I love you, too. 1781 01:27:09,604 --> 01:27:12,273 Once upon a time, 1782 01:27:12,273 --> 01:27:15,568 in a magical kingdom known as New York City, 1783 01:27:15,568 --> 01:27:19,322 there lived a happily married couple. 1784 01:27:19,322 --> 01:27:23,785 Then there was Milo and Wendy or Wendy and Milo. 1785 01:27:23,784 --> 01:27:27,413 Maybe it was vows, the ubiquitous feeling of romance, 1786 01:27:27,413 --> 01:27:29,331 or the magic of Manhattan, 1787 01:27:29,332 --> 01:27:33,086 but they finally had true love's kiss, 1788 01:27:33,086 --> 01:27:35,839 and the heartbroken learned to love again. 1789 01:27:37,881 --> 01:27:39,758 Their thread began again 1790 01:27:39,759 --> 01:27:43,263 and they finally dated happily ever after. 1791 01:27:47,225 --> 01:27:49,811 For a few more months. 131275

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.