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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:05,160 MUSIC: Fabulous by Freestylers and Scarlett Quinn 2 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,440 Everybody knows I think she's fabulous. 3 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,280 So... 4 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,160 What have you got to say for yourself? 5 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,560 IN EXAGGERATED SCOTTISH ACCENT: I've already said 6 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:33,840 I did not commit the murder. 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,000 GROANING God... 8 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,600 For God's sake, Brian, 9 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,840 just take Scottish off your CV. 10 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:42,880 Tit. 11 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,600 Right, moving on. 12 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,360 Now, have you seen this? Big news. 13 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:53,320 "A Theatre Company is looking for dynamic talent..." 14 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,840 That's you lot, yeah? 15 00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:00,720 "..to join their production for a national tour 16 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,120 "for six months." Ooh! 17 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,960 "Particular focus will be on BAME..." 18 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,880 Your time has finally come, Brian. 19 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,720 Just don't do Scottish. 20 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,360 "..and working class." 21 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,200 All o' yer. 22 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,520 Especially you, Tina. You what?! 23 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,800 Oh, come on, Tina, love, who are you kidding? 24 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,680 You're rough as a dog's bollock. 25 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,640 For whatever reason - who knows? - working-class people 26 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,440 are in fashion now. 27 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,000 We're like an exotic fruit. 28 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,760 So, juice that motherfucker, kids. 29 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,720 Juice it. 30 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,360 RELAXING MUSIC 31 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,440 Do you know what? 32 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,240 I'm going to call this Siobhan. 33 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,200 Do it, babe. Yeah, I will. 34 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,480 RINGING TONE 35 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,200 Golden Rose Theatre Company? Hello, Siobhan! 36 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,080 Or...or do people call you, Shiv? 37 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,680 Anyway. 38 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,400 I'm just calling about your audition for the touring theatre company. 39 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,160 It...it says that you're looking for working-class actors. 40 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,800 Sorry, love, all the working class slots 'ave gone. 41 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,760 Have you got 'owt else, love? What do you mean? 42 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,440 Disability? 43 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,240 Well, I don't process dairy well, if that counts? 44 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,440 No, love. Are you black, Asian, minority ethnic? 45 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,280 Could I be black? 46 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,160 No, babe. OK. 47 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,680 I'm not black, but I am ginger. 48 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,760 No, love. 49 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,440 Well, according to Ancestry.com, you can actually trace 50 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,160 our family tree all the way back to the foothills of Nicaragua so... 51 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,600 Are you LGBQT? 52 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,400 Well, what is sexuality, Shiv? 53 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,640 I mean, that's up for grabs, in't it, really? 54 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,440 Not on this form, it's not. 55 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,240 Are you care experienced? 56 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,240 Been through the care system? 57 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,120 Yeah... Yeah, I am. I've got that one. 58 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,760 Yes. I have actually been in and out the care system since day dot, Shiv. 59 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,360 For someone who's never gone past the M62, 60 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,200 I'm very well travelled. I've stayed in a lot of places, 61 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,480 and not all of them would get a glowing review 62 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,200 on TripAdvisor, I can tell you that much. 63 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,320 Garstang Estate. Felt more like a holiday camp. 64 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,880 All the kids ran riot. 65 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,200 We didn't have to go to school, 66 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,440 and thought the local drug dealer was our uncle. 67 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,800 Uncle Tony! Uncle Tony! All right, cockers! 68 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,240 Then I took a short stay on a farm, 69 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,560 where I became the sole carer of a one-legged chicken named Klaus. 70 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,080 I was given strict instructions 71 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,880 to feed him when he was hungry, talk to him when he was lonely, 72 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,520 and prop him up when he fell over. 73 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,160 It was a political awakening for me, 74 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,640 fighting for the rights of a disabled chicken. 75 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,200 Then Grandma's house. 76 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,760 Not the warmest of welcomes from the host. 77 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,360 I don't want her here. 78 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,960 You're forcing her on me, and it's not fair. 79 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,440 But the decor was intriguing, 80 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,640 and the breakfast authentically northern. 81 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,120 She's going to be just like her mother, I can tell by the ears. 82 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,960 Jan's house. 83 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,800 No concept of personal boundaries. 84 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,120 Would happily chat to me about her difficult divorce 85 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,840 when I was clearly busy. 86 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,880 Maud's house. 87 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,480 Certainly a pet-friendly environment. 88 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,160 SLURPING 89 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,880 Perhaps TOO friendly. 90 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,720 OK. Well, you'll need a letter of support from social services, 91 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,720 and then we can secure you an audition. 92 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,240 Oh, that's fantastic. Thank you very much. 93 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,800 Fabulous. LINE CUTS OFF 94 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,200 I think I've got an audition. Well done, babe. 95 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,560 Do you know what? 96 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,400 I knew having a fucked-up childhood would pay off eventually. 97 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,200 To your fucked-up childhood. Whoo! 98 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,280 Ticket number 22 to desk 6, please. 99 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,520 Poor fuckers, social workers. 100 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,520 They deal with loads of harrowing stuff, 101 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,840 take shit off everyone and never get a lunch break. 102 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,600 I had loads growing up. 103 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,200 They always look knackered, 104 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,560 love a bloody cardigan 105 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,920 and look like they drink too much red wine mid-week. 106 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,960 My first social worker was called Beakface. She used to take me 107 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,720 on these dinner dates to the chippy 108 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,920 then write up a report about it afterwards. 109 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,120 Like some sort of shit TripAdvisor for troubled kids. 110 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,040 Alma was in a difficult mood. 111 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,880 She would only refer to me as Beakface and threw chips at me 112 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,160 throughout the meal. 113 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,800 She told me she didn't like me, 114 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,560 she didn't like her foster parents and she wanted to live on her own. 115 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,680 Do you want a drink to go with them or anything? 116 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,080 I always saw myself in a fully furnished Manhattan apartment. 117 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,520 Never really understood what I was doing in Bolton 118 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,400 with all these twatty bastards. 119 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,200 Good butty? 120 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,680 Sorry. 121 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,280 Hello. Didn't know you were there. 122 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,000 How can I help? 123 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,560 So, er, Debbie, I'm auditioning for a theatre company, 124 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,080 and I've got to prove that I'm care experienced. 125 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,760 So, I just need a letter from you guys, to say, "Yeah, 126 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,440 "she was with us, her life were a bit shit, let her in your company." 127 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,680 That sort of thing. Great, yeah. 128 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,520 Good for you, love. Have you got your form? 129 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,280 Yeah. Here you go. 130 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,400 I want to be a famous actress, Debbie. 131 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,680 Do you know, loads of people like me are actors? 132 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,440 Kathy Burke was in care. 133 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,760 Marilyn Monroe was an orphan. 134 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,280 God, I could be Bolton's very own Marilyn. 135 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,160 Pierce Brosnan - he was actually fostered by his grandparents. 136 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,800 I could be the next James Bond! 137 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,200 We have a lot of information about you here. 138 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,600 Yeah? We could put in a request to get your records posted to you, 139 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,840 if you like? I mean, yeah, go on. 140 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,200 I mean, anything about me is always interesting. 141 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,320 I'm my favourite subject, Debbie! 142 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,400 Right. 143 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,120 How do you hold yours, Julie? 144 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,720 Thank you, everybody here. I'm overwhelmed. 145 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,600 I can't believe it, erm, three nominations in one night 146 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,320 and a standing ovation. I mean, it's a lot, isn't it? 147 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,520 But, erm, yeah, deserved. 148 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,320 Erm, and, yeah, I'm very grateful. 149 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,240 I-I'd also to thank my ex-boyfriend, actually, 150 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,400 because he cheated on me with essentially a foetus, 151 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,160 cos if it wasn't for him providing that kind of "fuck you" feeling, um, 152 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,560 I wouldn't be at the stratosphere that you see me at today. 153 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,520 KNOCK AT DOOR Oh. 154 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,120 My records are here. 155 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,520 Oh. 156 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,320 WOMAN: I arrived at the flat at 10:40am, 157 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,680 to see Alma looking through the letterbox. 158 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,760 Mum's sick. 159 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,520 No visitors today, Beakface. 160 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,160 She told me she was thirsty 161 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,920 and started trying to drink from an empty bottle of cider on the floor. 162 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,000 It was noted that there was no food in the house for her breakfast. 163 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,320 I posted a carton of milk 164 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,440 and a packet of peanuts through the letterbox. 165 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,960 Ta, Beakface. 166 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,120 Alma shouted at the dog for defecating in the living room. 167 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,040 Fuck's sake, Benjamin. DOG BARKS 168 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,800 MAN: On the 21st of October, 169 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:42,320 Alma was finally removed from her grandmother's care. 170 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,640 Get 'er bloody well out of 'ere, and don't come back. 171 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,120 I'm divorcing you! 172 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,840 Oh, piss off, you old crow. 173 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,600 Alma was added to the child protection register under 174 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,240 the category "gravely at risk". 175 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,440 Alma's behaviour was difficult when meeting her mother. 176 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,800 Alma is not making progress academically. 177 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,080 Several teachers have refused to teach Alma. 178 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,280 Alma, 16, is living independently 179 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,840 and struggling to manage her finances. 180 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,080 Alma is an overactive, oversensitive, 181 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,880 emotionally distressed child. 182 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,960 Fucking hell. 183 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,560 But you're OK? 184 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,760 I mean, yeah. 185 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,760 It's pretty weird having your whole life handed to you in a box, Leanne. 186 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,760 But I'm fine. 187 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,520 I feel weirdly zen about the whole thing, actually. 188 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,280 Ooh, I love THAT. 189 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,960 What the hell is this? 190 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,680 A spatula. Yeah. 191 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,840 It's £1.29. 192 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,320 Er, yeah. 193 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,120 It's a 99p shop and this spatula's £1.29. 194 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,760 Do you see where I'm going here? Oh, yeah, you're right. 195 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,800 Not everything's actually 99p. 196 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,760 Well, then, why the FUCK 197 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,600 is it called The 99p Shop, Carl? 198 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,960 It's just a kind of round about figure... 199 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,320 No, it's not "a round about figure", it's a lie. 200 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,480 Because you're selling an idea that doesn't really exist. 201 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,160 You think, "Oh, I can get everything I need for 99p." 202 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,120 You feel joy and hope, 203 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,240 and then you realise. 204 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,520 "Aha! This spatula is £1.29! 205 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,560 "I CAN'T get everything I need for the price I've been promised, 206 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,880 "and I'm being fucked, AGAIN." 207 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,760 Er, sorry? 208 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,600 Well, sometimes sorry's not good enough, Carl. 209 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,360 I'm actually just on work experience. 210 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,680 How convenient. 211 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:02,600 All right, babe, let's take this, er, spatula and pop it down here 212 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,240 and we'll go this way, OK? 213 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,600 Come on. 214 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,920 MOUTHS 215 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,640 Maybe you should chat to your family about these records? 216 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,000 Leanne, I'm fine. I don't think you're fine, babe. 217 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,640 I'm completely fine. 218 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,920 THAT was an injustice, Leanne, 219 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,200 and I can't stand by and watch injustice happen. 220 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,680 Maybe Leanne's right - 221 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:34,160 perhaps my family CAN bring some solace at this difficult time. 222 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,880 I don't know whether to kill myself or get drunk. 223 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,680 Maybe not. 224 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,800 She's been painting in rehab, now she thinks she's Van Gogh. 225 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,240 Look at my living room. 226 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,640 Oh, my God. 227 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,720 I don't know what you're moaning about. 228 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,360 The place needed brightening up. 229 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,080 SMASH! 230 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,800 Oh, for God's sake, Jim. 231 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,200 J... 232 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,240 That's the third thing he's broken. 233 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,800 Look at my porcelain dog. 234 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,000 Decapitated. 235 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,440 Sorry. It's like an art gallery for the paranoid in here. 236 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:09,360 How can I possibly flourish as an artist in this toxic environment? 237 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,840 You're not an artist. 238 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,320 You're a drug addict. 239 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,360 See? This is how you've always been, you've never supported me. 240 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,360 How dare you?! I've always supported my children. 241 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,160 Mummy, I need an Easter bonnet for school. 242 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,080 Oh, love. 243 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,520 You haven't got the ears for a hat. 244 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,680 Have you seen the centrepiece your mother kindly made for me? 245 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,960 What is that? My childhood memoirs. 246 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,240 You see how she uses her painting as a weapon? 247 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,440 Not everything is about YOU, Mother. 248 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,520 Right, everybody, just calm down. 249 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,840 The social worker's coming round any minute to assess us, 250 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,640 and we've got to prove that we're a normal, loving family. 251 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,920 How long for? 252 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,320 Ow! 253 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,360 Oh! Oh, for... 254 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,360 He's scared of blood. 255 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,920 Oh...Jim! 256 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,200 KNOCK AT DOOR Oh, shit, she's here. 257 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,600 Me penis! 258 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,560 I-I'm really sorry, Grandma, 259 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,120 but we don't have time to mourn your penis right now. 260 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,440 Put it away. 261 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,120 My God... 262 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,920 Just in the lounge. 263 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,000 Few teething problems but, er... 264 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,200 gen...generally good. 265 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,600 I think. 266 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,520 So, how's it going, Lin? 267 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,440 Shite. 268 00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:02,200 These arms of mine were made for holding you... 269 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,000 What's wrong? 270 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,200 You're just sort of breathing on me. 271 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,640 Oh. 272 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,960 It's quite intense, hot air in my face. 273 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,640 Sort of loud and smelly. 274 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,680 Right, er... 275 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:18,680 Maybe try breathing less or more to the side. 276 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:19,920 OK. 277 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,560 Ugh! I can't breathe. 278 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,120 I didn't mean hold your breath. 279 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:32,720 I've lost it now. 280 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,120 He's gone. 281 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,560 Have you thought about going to the doctor's? 282 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,400 You might have a sinus obstruction. 283 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,040 Could be affecting your sleep? 284 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,640 Oh, God... Just had Ray Ray on the phone. 285 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,080 She's pissed. 286 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,160 That guy just left a terrible review on the site. 287 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,240 Clients get to write reviews? 288 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,680 For fuck's sake. 289 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,600 It was just like having sex with my wife - awful. 290 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,320 Is there anybody who doesn't get to write down what they think of me? 291 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,280 You can't treat clients like that. 292 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,320 It's rude. His breath was rude. 293 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,360 It was like having sex with a pug that'd been on a long walk. 294 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,560 ENGINE STARTS 295 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,120 Hi! Hello. Do you fancy popping to the pub? 296 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,560 I'd love to, 297 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,280 but I'm with Chris tonight, 298 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,120 and we're a bit tied up, aren't we, love? 299 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,600 No worries. 300 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,800 Bye. 301 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,520 Could you pull in just here? 302 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,120 What is it, love? 303 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,040 Nothing. 304 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,280 Keep going. 305 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,800 VOICES OVERLAP AND ECHO: Alma is not making progress academically. 306 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,680 Alma reminds me of her mother. Very vindictive. 307 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,040 Alma has a frantic quality about her play. 308 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,320 Alma will struggle. 309 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,200 Alma is defiant. 310 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,240 Fuck this. 311 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,240 Fuck this. 312 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,640 MUSIC: Bingo Bango by Basement Jaxx 313 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,160 THEY CHANT 314 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,480 CHEERING 315 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,400 You should've opened your gullet, Steve! 316 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,800 Shots on me! 317 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,480 Girl power! 318 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,120 Girl power! 319 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:07,000 CHATTER STOPS ABRUPTLY Whoo! Come on! 320 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:20,080 All I'm saying...is I don't have any money right now, 321 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,800 cos I've actually been very charitable myself this evening, 322 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,040 but I will have money in the future. 323 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:32,920 So I just need you to temporarily, temporarily, Youseff, 324 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,240 lend me a kebab, huh? 325 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,840 And then I'll pay it back, with interest. 326 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,080 No. 327 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,600 Oi! 328 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,480 Put it back! 329 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,920 Put the kebab back! 330 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,440 Oi! 331 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,360 Bring that kebab back! 332 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,160 Bring that kebab back! 333 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,360 Roger that, over. 334 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,400 HORN BEEPS 335 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,720 Now, don't you start. 336 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,280 Thanks for picking me up. 337 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,480 You bloody nutter. 338 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,360 Well, it takes one to know one. 339 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,040 No, look, I'm-I'm glad you called. 340 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,520 Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine. 341 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,960 Just, you know, nicked a kebab, chased by the police down the road. 342 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,040 Spent the night in a cell. 343 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,640 I couldn't get hold of Leanne, that's why I called you. 344 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,640 Well, I'm always here for you, you know. 345 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,360 Thanks. 346 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,720 What are you doing? 347 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,400 Well, I just thought, like, you know? 348 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,080 Well, you thought wrong. 349 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,120 Just take me home. All right. 350 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,960 Cool your jets. Jesus. 351 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,680 VOICES ECHO: Alma is rude, disruptive and verbally abusive 352 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,160 in class. Alma is an overactive child. 353 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,920 Alma's life to date leaves very little hope for her future. 354 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:58,280 I never knew how long 355 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,480 I could hold my breath 356 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:10,960 Of my leather dress my hunger 357 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:16,160 Great wall of thunder 358 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,760 Why don't you love her? 359 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:27,000 Lovers don't reappear 360 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,480 In my mirror 361 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:36,400 I think I'll wear my new dress 362 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,720 They want dress for success... 363 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,440 Hello? Alma? 364 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,000 You left the door on the latch. 365 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,960 Oh. 366 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,760 Fucking hell, Alma, what happened here? 367 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,400 Just a bit of feng shui. Right. 368 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,480 And arrested? Over kebab meat? 369 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,880 What the fuck, Alma? 370 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,640 Nothing gets past you, does it? 371 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,000 Bill's sister's cousin's mate's shagging her best mate's boyfriend, 372 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,480 who knew the bobby who arrested you, who apparently actually 373 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,120 recognised you from Lesley's baby's christening two years ago. 374 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,360 Right. 375 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,320 These your records, then? 376 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:29,720 Yeah. Well, maybe we can have a look at them together? 377 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,320 Why? 378 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,840 Well, I'd like to actually know what led to you becoming a felon. 379 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,320 I just really wanted a kebab. 380 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,320 Do you know what's mad about these? 381 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,160 Right, they write some proper dark stuff, 382 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,040 and then they just follow it up, with, like, a dead obvious aside. 383 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,520 Like this one. Listen. 384 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,240 "Mental-health social worker..." I think that says "Colin", 385 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,040 it's redacted. 386 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,760 "..arrived at Miss Nuthall's 387 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,600 "and was confronted by a bearded man waving a hammer." 388 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,960 I mean, poor fucking Colin, to be fair. 389 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,000 He defo got the shit stick at work that day. 390 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,560 "Colin found Lin in a corner of a room, distressed, screaming 391 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,240 "and talking to people who were not present in the room." 392 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,560 Then, it says, 393 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,840 "She was also drunk." 394 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,680 By the time you're sort of grappling with the devil and screaming 395 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,800 at the walls, whether you're pissed or not is surely irrelevant. 396 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,880 Alma... I know. 397 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,240 Look at this here, psychology assessment, right? 398 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,720 I mean, 399 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,040 "The level of neglect Alma has suffered is already presenting 400 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,960 "itself in Alma's chaotic attachment style and low self-esteem. 401 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,320 "This could cause more problems for Alma later in life." 402 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,160 That's like some sort of shit Mystic Meg, isn't it? 403 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,720 LEANNE SIGHS 404 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,040 Do you know, I've always thought, if I can't be normal, 405 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,840 then I'll at least be fabulous. You know, I'll become a star, or, 406 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,160 you know, I'll do something to make it all worthwhile? 407 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,840 I'll recycle it all. 408 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,640 But then you read these and you just feel completely hopeless 409 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,240 and fucked. 410 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,880 They're bullshit, Alma. 411 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,960 They don't take into account any of your actual personality. 412 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,960 They don't mention how fun you are. 413 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,480 You're the only person in the world I like to get rat arsed with. 414 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,440 Yeah. Fuck these fucking records. 415 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,200 Where you off? 416 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,160 Oh! Fuck 'em. 417 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,240 Hey... Woo, yeah, fuck 'em, actually! Yeah, fuck 'em! 418 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,520 Fuck 'em! Woo! 419 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,680 Woo! Oh, no shit. No, Edna. 420 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,400 She'll have coronary if she reads those. Quick. 421 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,600 Now, I know you've got your auditions tomorrow, 422 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,320 so for today, class, were goin' for t'look at this book 423 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,680 in your lap. It's by a bloke from Russia who came up wi' summat big 424 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,040 for actors back in t'day. 425 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,640 It's called Effective Memory - 426 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,160 Emotional Recall. 427 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:04,040 Now, what that is, is an actor, using their own life and emotional 428 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:09,440 memories to activate the emotions of their fictional character. 429 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,000 So, for example... 430 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,880 I might be playing a scene where I'm a widower. 431 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,560 Now, I've never had a wife, 432 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,600 but I once lost a dog. 433 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,840 I don't mean on t'park, I mean... 434 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,120 VOICE BREAKS: ..lost the dog. Dead. 435 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,800 So what I have to do, when I'm in that scene, 436 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:39,000 is try and remember how that felt when Ralp... Sorry. 437 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,720 See, it's working. 438 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,960 .. when Ralph...when Ralph died. 439 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,960 And then those memories, those emotions 440 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,520 will help me play the grieving husband. 441 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:52,880 Do you get me? 442 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,520 Now, Lesley, you've talked at great length 443 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,840 about your pelvic floor dysfunction. 444 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,880 Use that discomfort, 445 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,480 use that shame. 446 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,040 Glen, let's be honest, 447 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,320 you've pickled that fatty liver of yours with booze 448 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:13,160 ever since your wife left ya. Use that despair. 449 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,200 Mephistopheles said he would not fight the battle. 450 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,840 And so I will. 451 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,640 Thank you. 452 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,000 That was fantastic. A really smashing performance, Alma. 453 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,000 Thank you. So, it says in your application 454 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,920 that you're a care leaver. 455 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,400 Er, yeah. I just got my records back recently, actually. 456 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,680 Really? And how was that for you? 457 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,680 Not great, er, one social worker described me as overactive, 458 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,280 oversensitive and emotionally distressed, so not fab, 459 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,840 to be honest. But, do you know, I've decided that just means 460 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,320 that I've got a lot of energy, empathy and emotional range. 461 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:04,640 I've...I've certainly got a lot of effective memory to draw from. 462 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,960 I'd agree with that. As it happens, 463 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,800 I'm a care leaver too, 464 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,040 and, you know, I've always felt 465 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:15,280 us care experienced folk have got something special. 466 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:20,040 We've navigated extreme circumstances with complex traumas, 467 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,720 and gained skills and wisdom beyond our years. 468 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:32,480 We have a huge capacity to love, and, er, to heal and, um, empathise. 469 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,880 And I see that in you, Alma. 470 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,600 Thank you. Do you know, I see it in myself. 471 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,960 I'm very wise. 472 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,880 You know in...in a normal way, not showing-off way. 473 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,800 WHISPERING 474 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:58,160 Look, we don't normally do this, but your audition was truly brilliant, 475 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,560 and we'd like to offer you a place. 476 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,920 Oh, my God! 477 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,320 Oh, my God, really? 478 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,760 Oh, my fucking God. 479 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,600 Oh, fuck you - I mean, thank you. 480 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,880 Fucking hell, yes! Woo! 481 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,880 I sit here by myself And you know I love it... 482 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,880 And I'll just...I'll see you. 483 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,720 I don't know when, but, whoo! 484 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,600 If I could tell that little girl in my records anything, 485 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,200 I'd tell her you're gonna be fine, you're gonna be more than fine. 486 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,440 You're gonna be fucking fabulous, love. 487 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,440 I wanna be a big shot 488 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:46,360 And have 90 cars 489 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:49,360 I wanna have a boyfriend 490 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:52,800 And a girl for laughs 491 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,120 But only on Saturdays... 492 00:27:57,170 --> 00:28:01,720 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36595

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