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1
00:00:04,914 --> 00:00:09,259
"Marry U at Recess"? More
like "Marry U at Spring Break."
2
00:00:09,295 --> 00:00:12,976
That's right, America's
favorite singer is headed to NYU,
3
00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:15,959
finally fulfilling a
month-long dream of his.
4
00:00:15,994 --> 00:00:17,295
The sexy teen,
5
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,407
shown here biffing it hard
at the VMAs last month,
6
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,973
starts classes today and is
leaving the spotlight for good.
7
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,611
And that's why I'm so lucky
to have him in the studio
8
00:00:26,645 --> 00:00:29,562
for his last ever live TV interview.
9
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:33,233
Give it up for my son, ChaseDreams!
10
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:38,364
Whoa, Mom, your fans are sick.
11
00:00:38,391 --> 00:00:41,582
Now, Chase, are you so
excited to start college today?
12
00:00:41,623 --> 00:00:43,243
Yeah, I've been giving
it a lot of thought,
13
00:00:43,270 --> 00:00:44,507
and I think it's gonna be tight.
14
00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:45,976
I'm just excited to be a normal kid
15
00:00:45,990 --> 00:00:47,732
and live in the dorms and do reading.
16
00:00:47,787 --> 00:00:50,354
- Aww.
- Well, I think that's just great, honey.
17
00:00:50,408 --> 00:00:52,052
And as I always say...
18
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,891
Reading is good!
19
00:00:54,918 --> 00:00:56,842
Plus, Mom, you've always
been my biggest fan,
20
00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:59,191
and now I get to be yours
'cause you're the best host ever.
21
00:00:59,218 --> 00:01:00,497
Isn't she killing it?
22
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:05,554
Well, as you all know, because
I talk about him every show,
23
00:01:05,564 --> 00:01:08,981
I'm not the only host in
the family who's killing it.
24
00:01:09,063 --> 00:01:12,337
My gay son Cary is a host now too.
25
00:01:12,629 --> 00:01:15,196
Hey, bitches, you're watching
"Age, Net Worth, Feet"
26
00:01:15,218 --> 00:01:16,431
on E! News Digital.
27
00:01:16,442 --> 00:01:18,858
As always, I'm on the
red carpet asking celebs
28
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,760
the only three questions
you at home care about.
29
00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:23,296
Zoisa Mamet is here with me now.
30
00:01:23,306 --> 00:01:26,167
- Zosia, what's your age?
- Hi. Uh, 32.
31
00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:28,948
- And what's your net worth?
- Uh, 3 million?
32
00:01:28,982 --> 00:01:30,909
- And can we see those feet?
- Um...
33
00:01:30,936 --> 00:01:32,453
Look at those little piggies.
34
00:01:32,515 --> 00:01:34,462
Oh, Gosh, have so much fun inside.
35
00:01:34,484 --> 00:01:36,416
- Yeah, no, totally. You too. Thanks.
- Thank you.
36
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:40,052
Now Chase, I know there's
someone very special
37
00:01:40,079 --> 00:01:42,158
in the audience you wanted to thank.
38
00:01:42,225 --> 00:01:43,933
Yes, my manager, Streeter.
39
00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,703
For taking a chance on a little boy
40
00:01:45,717 --> 00:01:47,507
found on his computer in
the middle of the night.
41
00:01:48,928 --> 00:01:51,136
- Thank you.
- And now he's taking a chance
42
00:01:51,156 --> 00:01:54,334
and managing me. Because
it's like I always say...
43
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:57,211
Every chance you choose to take
44
00:01:57,279 --> 00:01:59,917
is a path that you create.
45
00:01:59,972 --> 00:02:01,550
Whoa, your fans memorize a lot.
46
00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:04,351
Oh, speaking of, my daughter
Brookie's a manager too.
47
00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:08,060
I wanted her to co-manage
me, but she said, "No, Mom,
48
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:12,688
my brand is more music," so
she is out there on her own,
49
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,496
scouring the nation
looking for the next Chase.
50
00:02:15,525 --> 00:02:17,082
Doesn't that sound fun?
51
00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:41,898
♪ Baby, you're the best girl of all ♪
52
00:02:41,918 --> 00:02:43,715
♪ The gir... ♪
53
00:02:43,777 --> 00:02:46,321
_
54
00:02:46,322 --> 00:02:49,215
♪ Baby, you're the only girl I... ♪
55
00:02:49,225 --> 00:02:51,907
_
56
00:02:54,732 --> 00:02:56,233
_
57
00:02:57,066 --> 00:02:59,546
So now that you're
officially Chase Dubek again,
58
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,518
what's the biggest thing you
learned about being ChaseDreams?
59
00:03:02,546 --> 00:03:04,753
Well, I used to say
the grind never stops.
60
00:03:04,794 --> 00:03:07,042
But I learned it can
stop if you want it to.
61
00:03:07,069 --> 00:03:08,750
And that's what's cool about the grind.
62
00:03:08,798 --> 00:03:12,297
Oh. We got a new one,
everyone. Say it with me.
63
00:03:12,386 --> 00:03:14,415
The grind never stops,
64
00:03:14,476 --> 00:03:17,203
but it can stop if you want it to,
65
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:20,046
and that's what's cool about the grind.
66
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,412
This show's crazy.
67
00:03:21,446 --> 00:03:23,476
And now, like I do every episode,
68
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,894
let's FaceTime my children live on air
69
00:03:25,949 --> 00:03:27,497
and see what they're up to.
70
00:03:29,974 --> 00:03:31,696
- Hey.
- Hey, Mom. Mom,
71
00:03:31,723 --> 00:03:33,643
- No, God, Mom! I'm at work!
- you cannot keep doing this.
72
00:03:33,664 --> 00:03:35,584
- It's every show now. Please stop.
- Jesus!
73
00:03:42,124 --> 00:03:44,918
Excuse me, sir, I have
a shirt I need to return,
74
00:03:44,938 --> 00:03:46,804
and I'd like to get this one instead.
75
00:03:46,913 --> 00:03:48,860
Of course, sir. Did you wear it?
76
00:03:48,865 --> 00:03:51,095
- No, I did not.
- Oh. Well, then,
77
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,069
I'll be happy to exchange it for you.
78
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:56,656
Actually, I'm glad you're here.
79
00:03:56,683 --> 00:03:57,961
Do you think you can get asbestos
80
00:03:57,974 --> 00:03:59,629
from eating a construction worker's ass?
81
00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:01,977
- No?
- Good. Then I just have the flu.
82
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,022
So who had the worst feet today?
83
00:04:04,054 --> 00:04:06,634
- Oh, Kieran Culkin by a mile.
- Yeah, I could see that.
84
00:04:06,776 --> 00:04:08,339
God, you're, like, killing it.
85
00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:10,143
Seriously, you're like the most
successful actor that I know.
86
00:04:10,152 --> 00:04:11,438
It's not acting.
87
00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:12,646
Okay? All right, I gotta go.
88
00:04:12,679 --> 00:04:13,805
And if you think you're
going to return it,
89
00:04:13,822 --> 00:04:15,949
- then just don't wear it.
- I won't.
90
00:04:28,237 --> 00:04:29,613
Aren't they all so cute?
91
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:30,936
Which one's yours?
92
00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:34,777
- I haven't decided yet.
- Oh, my God. Brooke?
93
00:04:34,844 --> 00:04:37,321
- Jo!
- I can't believe you came.
94
00:04:37,436 --> 00:04:39,725
- It's been forever.
- What?
95
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,752
No, it hasn't. And I
would never miss little...
96
00:04:43,027 --> 00:04:45,803
Trinn... ton's birthday. Ha ha!
97
00:04:45,847 --> 00:04:46,902
Um, how are you guys?
98
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:49,094
I mean, Jackie, are you still at...
99
00:04:49,292 --> 00:04:51,872
- Amex.
- Amex. Yes. Amex.
100
00:04:51,893 --> 00:04:53,462
And your husband.
101
00:04:53,796 --> 00:04:57,331
- Michael.
- Michael. Mike. Mikey. Is he still...
102
00:04:57,834 --> 00:05:01,227
- Dead.
- Dead. Dead? Dead.
103
00:05:01,304 --> 00:05:04,551
Brooke, how about you? How's work?
104
00:05:04,633 --> 00:05:06,596
Oh, Brooke manages ChaseDreams.
105
00:05:06,609 --> 00:05:08,411
- Wow!
- Or, I guess used to,
106
00:05:08,444 --> 00:05:10,509
- 'cause he's in college.
- Yeah.
107
00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:12,313
Yeah. And he's loving it.
108
00:05:12,352 --> 00:05:16,385
I mean, I keep checking
his Insta and he is.
109
00:05:16,430 --> 00:05:18,277
But I'm still a music manager.
110
00:05:18,287 --> 00:05:21,268
All I gotta do now is find
the next global superstar.
111
00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:23,793
And actually...
112
00:05:23,826 --> 00:05:28,582
I'm just now realizing
maybe that superstar is here?
113
00:05:28,593 --> 00:05:30,539
Oh, my God.
114
00:05:30,594 --> 00:05:32,299
Brooke, you're so funny.
115
00:05:32,359 --> 00:05:34,694
Okay, kids, let's sing "Happy Birthday".
116
00:05:34,743 --> 00:05:36,328
Oh, and can we go one at a time?
117
00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:39,438
Let's start with, um, Freckles.
118
00:05:39,853 --> 00:05:42,406
You're watching The Gay
Minute on HuffPo Live,
119
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:46,068
sponsored by Advil. Advil: "Here, gays."
120
00:05:46,193 --> 00:05:49,751
This week in Gay News, Laura
Dern had her "BLL" costars
121
00:05:49,768 --> 00:05:53,468
over for a Monopoly party,
which I am living for.
122
00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:57,563
In more Gay News, Laura Dern is
slated to star in a new FX series,
123
00:05:57,630 --> 00:05:59,598
which I already stan...
124
00:05:59,623 --> 00:06:02,252
Sorry, one second. It's my agent. Sorry.
125
00:06:02,853 --> 00:06:04,576
Car, how's it going?
126
00:06:04,603 --> 00:06:06,134
You liking all those big
roles I've been getting you?
127
00:06:06,172 --> 00:06:10,200
Yeah, yeah, they're great.
Um, yeah, I was, uh...
128
00:06:10,228 --> 00:06:12,157
I was gonna ask you, um...
129
00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:15,054
I was wondering if I can get
sent out on more acting roles.
130
00:06:15,087 --> 00:06:17,043
You know, like TV, movies...
131
00:06:17,065 --> 00:06:18,727
Speaking of movies, that
is why I was calling.
132
00:06:18,738 --> 00:06:21,869
I just found out A24 is doing
a Matthew Shepard biopic.
133
00:06:21,957 --> 00:06:24,782
Oh, whoa. Do you think
I could go in for that?
134
00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:26,416
I mean, I-I know I'm
not a big name but...
135
00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,849
Oh, no. They already shot it.
Dave Franco's playing Matthew.
136
00:06:28,904 --> 00:06:32,796
So they're... they're not gonna have
a gay person play Matthew Shepard?
137
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,666
You mean like make it a porno? No.
138
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,394
I was just calling to see
if you wanted to see it.
139
00:06:36,426 --> 00:06:37,700
You know, I could maybe
get you a couple tix.
140
00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:39,077
I'm an agent. I got the connex.
141
00:06:39,104 --> 00:06:41,565
I gotta go, Dan.
142
00:06:42,724 --> 00:06:44,757
Sorry about that.
143
00:06:46,901 --> 00:06:50,246
In more Gay News, Laura
Dern was spotted kayaking...
144
00:06:50,306 --> 00:06:52,559
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
145
00:06:52,608 --> 00:06:54,384
Oh, God.
146
00:06:54,445 --> 00:06:58,391
Is no one at this party
a global superstar?
147
00:06:58,413 --> 00:07:01,217
Okay, I think people are ready for cake.
148
00:07:01,261 --> 00:07:03,403
So Trinton, come and
blow out your candles.
149
00:07:03,442 --> 00:07:05,327
What up, guys. Just left my first class.
150
00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:07,858
Headed to my second
one now, and I love NYU.
151
00:07:07,907 --> 00:07:10,126
Gonna be such a dope
however-many years college is.
152
00:07:10,151 --> 00:07:14,757
- Ugh.
- Brooke, what's going on?
153
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,523
Why are you trying to find clients here?
154
00:07:17,572 --> 00:07:20,338
Because no real singers
will let me represent them.
155
00:07:20,392 --> 00:07:22,759
Even though I already
managed ChaseDreams.
156
00:07:22,814 --> 00:07:26,275
Sure, it was "for an hour"
and he "didn't even know",
157
00:07:26,308 --> 00:07:27,701
but does that count for nothing?
158
00:07:27,745 --> 00:07:29,986
Yeah, I-I think that is nothing.
159
00:07:30,046 --> 00:07:31,451
But couldn't you manage your mom?
160
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,473
- I love her show, by the way.
- No.
161
00:07:33,594 --> 00:07:36,491
Jo, my brand is not lame daytime.
162
00:07:36,518 --> 00:07:39,474
It is cool music, and I should
be able to rep anyone now.
163
00:07:39,529 --> 00:07:42,716
But frickin' Alessia
Cara won't return my DMs.
164
00:07:42,743 --> 00:07:44,946
- Do you know Alessia?
- Yeah, of course I know her.
165
00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:47,006
Oh, great. Will you put in a good word?
166
00:07:47,056 --> 00:07:48,859
Oh, I-I just meant I know who she is.
167
00:07:48,909 --> 00:07:51,369
Ohh, this fucking party!
168
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,244
Oh, I gotta go to Queens.
169
00:07:55,261 --> 00:07:56,605
- Right now?
- Yeah.
170
00:07:56,655 --> 00:07:59,449
I set a Google Alert for
"Beyonce child gay drag,"
171
00:07:59,476 --> 00:08:01,525
and this boy just
posted a video of himself
172
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,225
lip-syncing to "Countdown."
173
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:05,876
I think I may have found
the next ChaseDreams.
174
00:08:05,914 --> 00:08:08,347
And guess what, world?
175
00:08:09,577 --> 00:08:11,632
He's gay!
176
00:08:52,694 --> 00:08:56,045
All right. Here we are.
177
00:08:58,193 --> 00:08:59,423
Oops, just a stop sign.
178
00:09:00,543 --> 00:09:02,330
Go. It's just a stop sign.
179
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,896
Now, you know Cary was the only one
180
00:09:06,917 --> 00:09:09,093
in our family that Biscuit would hump.
181
00:09:09,268 --> 00:09:11,650
And the vet said it was probably because
182
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:13,476
Biscuit knew that he could dominate him.
183
00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:14,722
Hey.
184
00:09:14,864 --> 00:09:17,467
Oh, how much has she
talked about me today?
185
00:09:17,494 --> 00:09:18,653
It's been near constant.
186
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,375
Apparently your dog
always tried to fuck you?
187
00:09:21,571 --> 00:09:22,971
How did that even come up?
188
00:09:22,976 --> 00:09:24,627
Is there an animal wrangler on?
189
00:09:24,671 --> 00:09:27,694
- No. It's a cooking segment.
- Ugh. How was your day?
190
00:09:27,847 --> 00:09:29,712
Good. The A.V. Club wants me
191
00:09:29,728 --> 00:09:31,685
to start recapping old
episodes of "The West Wing."
192
00:09:31,728 --> 00:09:33,522
Oh, fun. Why?
193
00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:51,163
Sorry, I...
194
00:09:51,986 --> 00:09:53,434
I just realized I haven't
eaten anything all day.
195
00:09:53,494 --> 00:09:55,375
- Are you hungry?
- Actually, yeah, yeah.
196
00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:57,162
Maybe we should order food now
197
00:09:57,201 --> 00:09:59,229
and then have sex before the food comes,
198
00:09:59,261 --> 00:10:00,824
'cause I'm not gonna
want to do it after.
199
00:10:00,857 --> 00:10:02,617
Oh, yeah, no, of course not. Um,
200
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,432
yeah, I'll-I'll-I'll
eat anything.
201
00:10:04,459 --> 00:10:06,537
I don't really know
what's good around you.
202
00:10:06,603 --> 00:10:07,805
How's Mediterranean?
203
00:10:07,914 --> 00:10:11,889
Sorry, when I said anything,
I meant burgers or pasta.
204
00:10:20,159 --> 00:10:21,450
- Hello.
- Hello.
205
00:10:21,499 --> 00:10:23,260
- My name is Brooke Dubek.
- Oh!
206
00:10:23,295 --> 00:10:25,643
Is your mom Pat Dubek? We love her show.
207
00:10:25,686 --> 00:10:27,195
Oh. Yeah, no, that's...
208
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:29,987
I'm here because I'm a music manager.
209
00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:31,775
That's why my hair's all
kind of folded to the left
210
00:10:31,813 --> 00:10:33,677
and I just have the one
earring in the right ear.
211
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:37,017
Anyway, I would love
to represent your son.
212
00:10:37,044 --> 00:10:41,275
The drag videos he makes in
his bedroom are incredible;
213
00:10:41,302 --> 00:10:44,046
and I truly believe, with a manager,
214
00:10:44,073 --> 00:10:46,227
he would be unstoppable.
215
00:10:46,326 --> 00:10:48,403
So... what do you say?
216
00:10:50,392 --> 00:10:51,699
Ethan!
217
00:10:52,453 --> 00:10:55,497
What drag video is
this lady talking about?
218
00:10:56,475 --> 00:10:57,853
I don't know.
219
00:11:13,961 --> 00:11:17,645
Oh, my God, Ray. Now
we're making people puke?
220
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:20,318
Well, none of these
managers have been legit.
221
00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:21,832
Now go wash your hands for lunch.
222
00:11:21,892 --> 00:11:24,675
Okay, yas, drag my dirty hands, Daddy.
223
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:28,239
Okay, I'm close. I'm close.
224
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:33,585
Oh, no. Pietro's close, too.
225
00:11:33,599 --> 00:11:35,230
His little car thingy's on your street.
226
00:11:35,284 --> 00:11:36,662
It is?
227
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,504
Shit. Shit.
228
00:11:38,958 --> 00:11:42,232
Oh, his... his little circle
picture's actually kind of hot.
229
00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:43,809
Oh, I'm gonna...
230
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:46,364
Ahh... ahh...
231
00:11:49,672 --> 00:11:52,197
- That was really impressive timing.
- Thanks.
232
00:11:52,263 --> 00:11:55,060
I used to do it with porn
all the time before I met you.
233
00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:57,531
Hey.
234
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,220
- Seamless for Jess.
- All right. Thanks.
235
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:00,718
And not sure who got the burger,
236
00:12:00,756 --> 00:12:02,106
but they ran out of Swiss.
237
00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:05,113
Okay, I'll, uh, I'll
tell... I'll tell her.
238
00:12:05,462 --> 00:12:06,916
Oh, shit.
239
00:12:08,496 --> 00:12:10,688
I love eating a fat meal after sex.
240
00:12:10,753 --> 00:12:13,060
It's like we did our homework,
and now we get to watch TV.
241
00:12:13,393 --> 00:12:16,038
Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I'm
gonna... I think they...
242
00:12:16,350 --> 00:12:18,061
think they forgot something.
243
00:12:22,882 --> 00:12:25,047
Hi. Um, Jess is a boy.
244
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,588
- What?
- A man. He's an adult man.
245
00:12:28,654 --> 00:12:31,027
That I have sex with,
'cause I'm-I'm gay.
246
00:12:31,048 --> 00:12:34,225
and I like guys', uh, dicks and butts.
247
00:12:34,301 --> 00:12:36,821
I don't know why I was
nervous for you to know that.
248
00:12:36,838 --> 00:12:38,030
It's cool, man.
249
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:40,019
As soon as I opened the
door, I knew you were gay.
250
00:12:40,112 --> 00:12:42,501
Oh. Good.
251
00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:44,671
- Good. I'm glad.
- Because I watch your mom's show.
252
00:12:44,693 --> 00:12:45,710
Oh, good.
253
00:12:45,737 --> 00:12:47,103
- I mean, also good.
- Yeah.
254
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:50,034
Today at the end, she mentioned
you have a boyfriend. So, congrats.
255
00:12:50,575 --> 00:12:51,789
Boyfriend?
256
00:13:02,628 --> 00:13:04,934
What up, guys, I'm here
with my new roommate, Ezra,
257
00:13:04,961 --> 00:13:07,596
- just setting up our dorm.
- Yo! Whazzup, dreamers?
258
00:13:07,626 --> 00:13:08,897
Yeah, I love this little dude.
259
00:13:08,908 --> 00:13:12,914
College, college, college! Yeah!
260
00:13:15,724 --> 00:13:17,074
Ugh.
261
00:13:26,317 --> 00:13:29,460
_
262
00:13:46,476 --> 00:13:48,269
- What?
- Well,
263
00:13:48,444 --> 00:13:50,686
I struck out literally all day.
264
00:13:50,735 --> 00:13:53,866
Guess I'll represent... Mom?
265
00:13:54,096 --> 00:13:56,747
I take it Alessia Cara
didn't get back to you?
266
00:13:56,802 --> 00:14:00,738
No, which is so rude. Like,
we are peers in the industry.
267
00:14:00,776 --> 00:14:02,324
- At least write me back.
- Sorry.
268
00:14:02,351 --> 00:14:06,412
You and Alessia Cara are
"peers in the industry"?
269
00:14:06,439 --> 00:14:08,809
Wait. Where are we? I thought we
were meeting your mom at The Smith.
270
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:11,251
Oh, no. Apparently, she got invited
271
00:14:11,289 --> 00:14:14,231
to the opening of Blake
Lively's new restaurant,
272
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:16,193
so we're going there instead.
273
00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:17,713
- Fun.
- Bleh!
274
00:14:17,844 --> 00:14:19,916
Oh, shit. I gotta take this.
275
00:14:19,949 --> 00:14:21,654
It's work. Hey, you guys go ahead.
276
00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:26,454
Okay, real quick. Did you
see Mom called me and Jess
277
00:14:26,459 --> 00:14:27,957
"boyfriends" on her show today?
278
00:14:27,995 --> 00:14:29,521
- Wait. She did?
- Yeah.
279
00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:32,581
- Ohh...
- But then we talked, and...
280
00:14:33,237 --> 00:14:34,952
I think we are?
281
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:37,842
It's only been two weeks,
but I really like him.
282
00:14:37,889 --> 00:14:42,106
- Cary! Your first boyfriend.
- Yeah.
283
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,862
And I'm his first one too.
284
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:46,239
He didn't come out
till he was 24, and...
285
00:14:46,725 --> 00:14:50,094
- we actually have a lot in common.
- Aww, I'm happy for you.
286
00:14:50,148 --> 00:14:52,072
And you know what? You
proved people wrong.
287
00:14:52,094 --> 00:14:54,127
There are still humans on OKCupid.
288
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,100
Okay, no, you don't get
to make fun of how we met.
289
00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:59,071
You were at Jingle Ball
heckling Coldplay when you met...
290
00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:01,139
Lance?
291
00:15:01,239 --> 00:15:05,350
- Oh, hell, yeah.
- No. No. No.
292
00:15:05,418 --> 00:15:07,707
- You do not get to be here.
- What?
293
00:15:07,755 --> 00:15:09,983
You told me you didn't
want to be with me, Lance.
294
00:15:10,024 --> 00:15:13,044
You don't just get to, like,
show up at family events
295
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,306
and dab anymore. It's not cute.
296
00:15:15,395 --> 00:15:17,554
Also, why are you wearing
a see-through raincoat?
297
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:20,823
Oh. I'm sorry. After the VMAs,
I started moving into apparel...
298
00:15:20,827 --> 00:15:23,417
I don't care. Why are you here?
299
00:15:24,326 --> 00:15:26,254
I thought you knew I was coming.
300
00:15:26,272 --> 00:15:28,921
Your mom invited everybody
on the family text thread.
301
00:15:28,974 --> 00:15:32,679
You're still on that? Leave
the conversation, Lance!
302
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,254
I'm in the family and I
left it the day it started.
303
00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:37,046
I think we're gonna go inside.
304
00:15:37,096 --> 00:15:39,851
- Yo, whassup, Car?
- No, Cary. Do not pound him.
305
00:15:39,878 --> 00:15:42,044
He has lost all pounding privileges.
306
00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:43,487
Sorry.
307
00:15:48,592 --> 00:15:51,422
Yo, I'm sorry, B. I-it been a while,
308
00:15:51,438 --> 00:15:53,747
- so I thought it was okay if I came...
- Well, it's not.
309
00:15:54,818 --> 00:15:56,097
Okay?
310
00:15:57,114 --> 00:15:59,224
You really fucked me up.
311
00:15:59,968 --> 00:16:02,504
I miss you, like, every day.
312
00:16:02,947 --> 00:16:05,679
Do you know how pathetic
that makes me feel?
313
00:16:06,248 --> 00:16:10,796
I'm a strong, powerful
woman. I can't miss a man.
314
00:16:12,994 --> 00:16:15,273
- Sorry, CookBrooke.
- It's Brooke.
315
00:16:16,985 --> 00:16:19,668
I didn't mean to upset you.
I still wanna be your friend.
316
00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:22,456
I don't want to be your friend, Lance.
317
00:16:22,527 --> 00:16:24,632
I have plenty of friends.
318
00:16:24,906 --> 00:16:28,442
- I have Jo. And Julie.
- Jackie.
319
00:16:28,464 --> 00:16:30,104
- Who works at Mastercard.
- Amex.
320
00:16:30,131 --> 00:16:32,066
- And her dead husband, Murph.
- Michael.
321
00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:33,067
- Maph.
- Michael.
322
00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:34,084
- Fern.
- Michael.
323
00:16:34,092 --> 00:16:35,133
So you need to go.
324
00:16:35,330 --> 00:16:37,836
And do not turn and leave.
325
00:16:37,857 --> 00:16:40,867
I need you to back away
facing me. I cannot...
326
00:16:42,314 --> 00:16:44,063
see that ass.
327
00:16:44,123 --> 00:16:45,205
I understand.
328
00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:47,883
But can you tell you mom I said hi?
329
00:16:47,905 --> 00:16:49,173
I love her show.
330
00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:52,130
Oh, my God. When did everyone
start watching talk shows?
331
00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:54,798
I don't know. There's
just something about her.
332
00:17:04,462 --> 00:17:06,928
Wait. This is Blake Lively's restaurant?
333
00:17:06,949 --> 00:17:08,754
Yeah. Why is it Asian fusion?
334
00:17:08,814 --> 00:17:11,104
Oh, Blake has been
passionate about the culture
335
00:17:11,126 --> 00:17:12,307
and cuisine of Thailand
336
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:14,127
ever since she had a
layover there in March.
337
00:17:14,182 --> 00:17:17,106
- And why is there spaghetti on the menu?
- That's the fusion.
338
00:17:18,916 --> 00:17:21,414
God, it's 11:30. Seems
so late for your mom.
339
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,644
Doesn't she have to
get up early for work?
340
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:25,945
- ♪ Good morning, boys ♪
- Morning?
341
00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:27,131
I know. Isn't it wild?
342
00:17:27,169 --> 00:17:29,499
Now that I have my
morning show, day is night
343
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,833
and night is day for me.
344
00:17:30,876 --> 00:17:33,494
I get up at 11:00 p.m.,
head to work at 12,
345
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,358
then I have 5 1/2 hours of makeup.
346
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,523
For women over 50,
347
00:17:36,566 --> 00:17:38,245
it's technically applied by a carpenter.
348
00:17:38,256 --> 00:17:40,207
Did you know that, Cary? Then at 6:00,
349
00:17:40,251 --> 00:17:42,935
I do my affiliate throws
for every city in America.
350
00:17:43,919 --> 00:17:45,673
At 7:00, I have my meetings.
351
00:17:45,739 --> 00:17:48,680
At 8:00, I do an hour of
touch-ups, again with the carpenter.
352
00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:50,773
Then we shoot at 9:00.
The show airs at 11:00.
353
00:17:50,795 --> 00:17:52,719
I have my dinner at 4:00
and I'm in bed by 6:00.
354
00:17:52,823 --> 00:17:54,806
Wow. That is quite a schedule.
355
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,615
Yes. It makes it very
hard to sync up for, um...
356
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,384
- intercourse.
- But I can't complain.
357
00:18:01,388 --> 00:18:03,662
I mean, how many people get
to have their own talk show?
358
00:18:03,723 --> 00:18:04,777
Hi, Pat.
359
00:18:04,812 --> 00:18:06,827
Blake just wanted to thank
you so much for coming.
360
00:18:06,858 --> 00:18:08,310
- Aww.
- And to reassure you
361
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:10,964
- that this isn't racist.
- Oh, good.
362
00:18:11,025 --> 00:18:13,041
Oh, and I am so sorry for blabbing on.
363
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,886
This must be the famous Jess.
364
00:18:14,917 --> 00:18:16,307
Yes. Hi. I feel like we've already met
365
00:18:16,324 --> 00:18:18,362
since you talk about
me so much on your show.
366
00:18:18,935 --> 00:18:22,009
I'm just so proud that Cary
finally has a boyfriend.
367
00:18:22,031 --> 00:18:25,550
Oh, hey, Jess. I'm the,
uh, I'm the famous Streeter.
368
00:18:26,009 --> 00:18:28,554
Welcome to the fam. As a former new guy
369
00:18:28,576 --> 00:18:30,627
who has now fully immersed
himself within the group,
370
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:32,560
I gotta warn you...
these guys can be pretty
371
00:18:33,811 --> 00:18:36,523
tough at times. Yeah, I
mean, they'll laugh at you,
372
00:18:36,545 --> 00:18:37,992
and they'll make fun of you, and they'll
373
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,620
stop talking when you enter the room.
374
00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:42,855
But that's just their way
of saying that they love you.
375
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,060
But it-it-it-it... can get to you.
376
00:18:46,112 --> 00:18:47,498
You know, it can, um,
377
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:49,217
you know, really hurt at times.
378
00:18:49,269 --> 00:18:51,561
Hey, there you guys are. Okay.
379
00:18:52,974 --> 00:18:55,480
Mom, I've been thinking and...
380
00:18:56,508 --> 00:18:57,912
I'm sorry, is this racist?
381
00:18:57,943 --> 00:19:00,288
Oh, um, no. They said no.
382
00:19:00,659 --> 00:19:04,447
Okay. Um, I've been thinking,
and I have a big announcement.
383
00:19:04,526 --> 00:19:05,671
Wait, Brooke, before that,
384
00:19:05,702 --> 00:19:07,726
do you see this stupid
loser that Cary brought?
385
00:19:07,748 --> 00:19:09,467
This is what I'm talking about.
386
00:19:09,476 --> 00:19:12,209
You see his dumb face
and his dumb clothes?
387
00:19:12,244 --> 00:19:14,579
God, let's kill him. Ha.
Now you're fitting in.
388
00:19:14,623 --> 00:19:15,974
Oh, my God. Streeter, stop.
389
00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:17,395
I have something important to say.
390
00:19:17,658 --> 00:19:21,499
Okay, as we all know, my brand
has historically been music.
391
00:19:21,566 --> 00:19:23,084
But I've been thinking and,
392
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,337
Mom, I would really love
to be your co-manager.
393
00:19:26,404 --> 00:19:27,771
- Aww.
- It's definitely not
394
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:29,324
because I couldn't find anyone else.
395
00:19:29,446 --> 00:19:31,091
It's because I wanna work with you.
396
00:19:31,095 --> 00:19:34,821
So what do you say? Can
I rejoin the Dream Team?
397
00:19:34,843 --> 00:19:36,412
Honey, of course!
398
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,887
Oh, I'm so excited to
have you on the team.
399
00:19:38,922 --> 00:19:40,943
Yeah, and you know I'm
in. I mean, oh, Brooke,
400
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,465
this is going to be the beginning
of a beautiful partnership.
401
00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:45,328
- Okay.
- Oh, Brookie, do you think
402
00:19:45,337 --> 00:19:47,492
that I should go thank
Blake for having us?
403
00:19:47,571 --> 00:19:49,740
Oh, um, yeah.
404
00:19:49,775 --> 00:19:51,803
- I think that's probably a good idea.
- Okay.
405
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,602
Why didn't she ask me?
406
00:19:55,901 --> 00:19:58,905
- Ohh.
- Well, congrats on having a client
407
00:19:58,918 --> 00:20:00,244
that knows they're your client.
408
00:20:00,252 --> 00:20:01,709
Yes, thank you.
409
00:20:01,748 --> 00:20:04,110
I'm officially a music
manager who works in daytime.
410
00:20:04,131 --> 00:20:07,752
Well, I'm an actor who tries
on bras for Thrillist TV, so...
411
00:20:07,813 --> 00:20:09,606
Hey, at least you're not waiting tables,
412
00:20:09,646 --> 00:20:11,255
and you can afford to live alone.
413
00:20:11,316 --> 00:20:12,541
Barely.
414
00:20:13,057 --> 00:20:15,143
And wouldn't it be kinda
hard to manage Chase?
415
00:20:15,164 --> 00:20:17,871
Not to be rude, but
he can't really sing.
416
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:21,437
That is true, Brooke. I love
him, but he is not a good singer.
417
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:22,613
I guess you're right.
418
00:20:22,651 --> 00:20:24,504
I've been wanting him
to come back all day,
419
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,964
but, like, what would
we even do with him?
420
00:20:26,998 --> 00:20:30,321
It's better he's in college just,
you know, being a normal kid.
421
00:20:30,335 --> 00:20:32,184
What do you mean? Who's in college?
422
00:20:32,403 --> 00:20:35,278
- Um, Chase?
- Oh, right. He's not.
423
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,846
He's back. He just
got here. Look. Chase!
424
00:20:37,928 --> 00:20:40,377
- Hey, guys.
- Wazzzzup!
425
00:20:40,443 --> 00:20:43,226
Chase is back. All right!
426
00:20:43,548 --> 00:20:45,582
- Wait. What?
- Why are you here?
427
00:20:45,583 --> 00:20:48,035
Oh, Chase, you gotta meet this
piece of shit that Cary's dating.
428
00:20:48,324 --> 00:20:50,074
No, I love you. I love you, Jess.
429
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:53,244
Wait, no. I mean, hold on. Why
aren't you in school right now?
430
00:20:53,277 --> 00:20:54,839
I miss being a singer. I mean,
431
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,540
college was lit but I
decided singing is more lit.
432
00:20:57,551 --> 00:20:58,917
So I dropped out.
433
00:20:58,988 --> 00:21:01,218
Isn't that the best news ever?
434
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:03,776
This is so insane.
435
00:21:03,798 --> 00:21:06,777
ChaseDreams is, like, in
my Urban Planning class.
436
00:21:06,821 --> 00:21:08,679
He is fully a child.
437
00:21:08,728 --> 00:21:10,958
LOL. ChaseDreams has been taking
438
00:21:10,975 --> 00:21:12,860
this Behavioral Studies
test for an hour,
439
00:21:12,871 --> 00:21:14,872
and he has not written a thing.
440
00:21:14,910 --> 00:21:18,399
Holy shit. ChaseDreams is in
my Behavioral Studies class.
441
00:21:18,409 --> 00:21:21,546
I was teaching and I saw him, and
I was like, "What is happening?"
442
00:21:21,742 --> 00:21:25,356
Yo, I'm fucking on top of ChaseDreams!
443
00:21:25,482 --> 00:21:28,072
Oh, my God.
444
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:31,328
These assholes. You should be
glad you didn't get into NYU.
445
00:21:31,362 --> 00:21:33,472
- No, I got in, I just...
- Just couldn't go.
446
00:21:34,465 --> 00:21:35,533
I don't know.
447
00:21:35,681 --> 00:21:38,760
It never even occurred to me
he'd be having a hard time.
448
00:21:38,777 --> 00:21:41,394
But then, I guess, of course?
449
00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:42,755
- Yeah.
- Hey.
450
00:21:43,174 --> 00:21:44,876
Can I sit with you guys for a sec?
451
00:21:44,976 --> 00:21:46,624
- Oh, yeah.
- Chase, yeah, yeah.
452
00:21:46,657 --> 00:21:48,937
- Come on in.
- How are ya?
453
00:21:49,002 --> 00:21:51,467
Good. I just met Jess.
454
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,845
He's really nice. Congrats
on your first boyfriend.
455
00:21:53,883 --> 00:21:55,293
Oh, thanks, buddy.
456
00:21:55,364 --> 00:21:57,638
Oh, and Streeter says
you're my manager now too?
457
00:21:57,682 --> 00:22:01,049
Oh. Um, yeah. I am.
458
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:02,590
But he says if I have questions,
459
00:22:02,634 --> 00:22:04,902
I should still ask him first
and then ask you second.
460
00:22:05,258 --> 00:22:06,952
And then I didn't really get this part,
461
00:22:06,979 --> 00:22:09,932
but he said I could ask Jess third
if I email him at loser dot com.
462
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,578
Oh, my God.
463
00:22:14,628 --> 00:22:16,525
It's not bad that I quit, is it?
464
00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:19,700
Oh, my God, no. Of course not.
465
00:22:19,973 --> 00:22:23,964
I mean, I'm happy it was lit for you,
466
00:22:23,997 --> 00:22:25,894
but I personally think
college is stupid.
467
00:22:25,917 --> 00:22:28,162
- I didn't even go.
- Yeah. No, NYU's overrated.
468
00:22:28,184 --> 00:22:29,539
Everyone says that.
469
00:22:29,578 --> 00:22:32,338
Plus, all your fans are
gonna be so happy you're back.
470
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,049
- Really?
- Yeah.
471
00:22:34,316 --> 00:22:36,087
Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna make you
472
00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:38,613
an even more famous singer
than you already were.
473
00:22:39,116 --> 00:22:41,778
Okay. Cool. Thanks, Brooke.
474
00:22:41,811 --> 00:22:43,303
Yeah.
475
00:22:43,902 --> 00:22:45,490
Well, I'll head back inside.
476
00:22:45,533 --> 00:22:47,031
- All right, yeah.
- Okay.
477
00:22:50,705 --> 00:22:53,515
How are you going to make
him a more famous singer?
478
00:22:53,544 --> 00:22:56,696
We were literally just talking
about how he can't sing.
479
00:22:56,740 --> 00:23:00,183
I don't know. I guess I'll sleep on it?
480
00:23:00,385 --> 00:23:03,211
Brookie, there you are! I'm off to work.
481
00:23:03,233 --> 00:23:04,627
And since it's your
first day on the team,
482
00:23:04,656 --> 00:23:06,485
I thought maybe you can come
to the show and meet everyone.
483
00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:09,880
- It's almost midnight.
- It's already midnight.
484
00:23:09,928 --> 00:23:11,624
Day is night and night is day for me.
485
00:23:11,674 --> 00:23:13,870
I wake up at 11:00,
head to work at 12:00,
486
00:23:13,887 --> 00:23:16,336
then I have 5 1/2 hours of makeup.
487
00:23:18,903 --> 00:23:21,406
Hey! Ha ha ha ha!
488
00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:25,692
- I have a boyfriend.
- Faggot.
489
00:23:25,709 --> 00:23:27,469
O... kay.
490
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,093
And that's when we found out
491
00:23:31,094 --> 00:23:33,302
- my husband had cancer.
- Oh, no.
492
00:23:33,324 --> 00:23:35,809
- We all knew we were gonna lose him.
- Of course.
493
00:23:35,853 --> 00:23:37,624
But then the cancer went away.
494
00:23:37,635 --> 00:23:40,789
- Oh, good.
- But then he got into a car accident.
495
00:23:40,811 --> 00:23:42,702
- Oh, no.
- He was fine.
496
00:23:42,730 --> 00:23:45,053
- Only the bumper was damaged.
- That's good.
497
00:23:45,075 --> 00:23:47,617
But then last year,
the cancer came back.
498
00:23:48,099 --> 00:23:49,376
And he died.
499
00:23:49,474 --> 00:23:52,557
- Aww.
- I'm so sorry to hear that, Sheila.
500
00:23:52,672 --> 00:23:56,197
And in the future, that car
part can just lift right out.
501
00:23:56,388 --> 00:23:58,761
- I can see that.
- Okay. That's our show.
502
00:23:58,783 --> 00:24:00,563
To all of you who have lost someone,
503
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,200
I am right there with you.
504
00:24:02,249 --> 00:24:04,332
We've all made it to a new day together,
505
00:24:04,419 --> 00:24:07,907
so as always, let's give ourselves a...
506
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,912
Pat on the back.
507
00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:16,423
I mean, I don't not get it.
508
00:24:17,358 --> 00:24:22,358
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
39037
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