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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,365 -So, uh, 9/11... 4 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,743 what's your stance? 5 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,286 -Anti. 6 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,747 It was a tragedy. 7 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,583 I mean, we lost 19 of our best guys. 8 00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,711 - Huh? - That was a joke, obviously. 9 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,214 9/11 was a terrible tragedy, 10 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:33,468 and it's not funny to joke about it. 11 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:34,802 -When I hear people make 12 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,471 {\an8}9/11 jokes now, 13 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,432 {\an8}I feel like, "Oh, what a bunch of pussies." 14 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,769 Back then was the time to make them, yeah. 15 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:48,650 Donald Trump has done so much damage to the New York skyline, 16 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:51,736 instead of calling him The Donald, 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,031 they should call him the 20th Hijacker! 18 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,449 [ Laughter ] 19 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,117 {\an8}-It wasn't just an elephant in the room. 20 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:01,412 {\an8}It was a burning pile of bodies and steel, 21 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,623 you know, less than a mile away. 22 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:06,000 -I saw the chief of the New York City Police 23 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,627 on the news. 24 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,338 He said, "We will never forget 9/11." 25 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,756 I thought, "I should... hope not. 26 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,299 It's your phone number." [ Laughter ] 27 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,884 {\an8}-It was a need. 28 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:19,555 {\an8}It wasn't like, "I'll do a chunk on my mother-in-law, 29 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,016 and I'll do this thing about crazy taxi drivers 30 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,227 and, yeah, I'll fit some 9/11 material in there." 31 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,895 It was like I had to talk about it. 32 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,440 {\an8}-The job of the comedian is to push the envelope. 33 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,859 {\an8}-Irony is always kind of anti-establishment, 34 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,654 {\an8}and it's difficult when the establishment is lying 35 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,781 {\an8}in smoking ruins at your feet. 36 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,032 {\an8}I mean, that's what "Saturday Night Live" 37 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,325 {\an8}is most famous for, 38 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,411 {\an8}is addressing what's most topical. 39 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,662 {\an8}How are we going to do that? 40 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,497 {\an8}-I remember seeing just tears 41 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,332 {\an8}streaming down people's faces and a lot of the cast. 42 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:47,750 {\an8}-You know, you don't realize 43 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,127 {\an8}the whole world's about to change on you. 44 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,795 -There were a ton of people that said, 45 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,839 "You cannot do comedy. You... No one can mention it." 46 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,300 {\an8}-Maher's comments ignited a firestorm. 47 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,969 {\an8}-They need to... to watch what they say, watch what they do. 48 00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,595 {\an8}-I mean, I could see the writing on the wall. 49 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,180 {\an8}This wasn't something that we were going to send 50 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,182 {\an8}a couple of cruise missiles and call it a day. 51 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,475 {\an8}This was a big deal. 52 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,394 {\an8}-I was not a high-risk person 53 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:08,229 {\an8}just by uttering the word "Muslim." 54 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,939 {\an8}-I didn't want to go to war 'cause, you know, 55 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,775 I got the selfish reasons. I'm... I'm originally from Iran, 56 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,402 and "Iran" sounds a lot like "Iraq." 57 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,195 And I was worried that, if there was one president 58 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,989 who was going to mess it up and bomb the wrong country... 59 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,782 [ Laughter and applause ] 60 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:24,037 {\an8}-It's more satisfying to point out someone's hypocrisy 61 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,247 while keeping a smile on your face the whole time. 62 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:30,668 -"Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage 63 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:35,298 or sabotage or in terrorist activities or genocide?" 64 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:38,509 {\an8}Yes. How'd I get caught? I accidentally checked "yes." 65 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,178 -If four dudes from the Middle East 66 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,889 go down to Florida to learn how to fly 67 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:46,184 and don't nobody want to learn how to land or take off... 68 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,895 [ Laughter and applause ] 69 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,356 something is [bleep] up. [ Laughter and applause ] 70 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,149 {\an8}-All of a sudden, it's more complicated 71 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,901 {\an8}getting to the plane than flying in a plane. 72 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:58,404 {\an8}-You can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. 73 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:01,616 Are they afraid you're gonna go, "Alright! 74 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,869 Give me the plane or the bitch loses a cuticle"? 75 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,788 -Part of what comedy does is it says, 76 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:10,917 {\an8}"Yes, this is terrible, but you can laugh about it." 77 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,336 -I could eat pussy in a horrible mood. 78 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,380 Shit, I ate pussy on 9/11. 79 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:18,549 [ Laughter ] 80 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,259 Where were you? 81 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,636 [ Laughter ] 82 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,596 -It's 20 years on, and for some people, 83 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,348 it's still now too soon. - Too soon. 84 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,682 - Too soon. - Too soon. 85 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,975 - Too soon. - Too soon. 86 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,435 - Too soon. - Too soon. [ Chuckles ] 87 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,020 How... How about that? Hey. 88 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,980 I did the name of this documentary. 89 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:37,801 {\an8}♪♪ 90 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,242 -The year before 9/11, my boyfriend, Joel Soler, 91 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,327 made this film, and I produced it, 92 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,954 and I wrote the narration for it... 93 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,832 It was a documentary about Saddam Hussein's family, 94 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,459 treating them as if they were the Kardashians. 95 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,211 -♪ I see la vie en rose ♪ 96 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,922 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪ 97 00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:01,134 ♪ When you press me to your heart ♪ 98 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,177 {\an8}-People, even though they were afraid to speak 99 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,429 {\an8}and they know the price. 100 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:07,682 -November the 1st, 2000, 101 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,685 we were sleeping, and some group came to our home, 102 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,311 took the giant garbage cans, 103 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,231 filled them with gasoline, and they set on fire. 104 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,941 They had come in the house, 105 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,026 and they put a piece of paper on the floor that said, 106 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:22,780 "In the name of Allah, the merciful and compassionate, 107 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:26,701 burn this Satanic film or you will be dead." 108 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,953 {\an8}♪♪ 109 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,497 I thought, "Can I make a comedy out of this?" 110 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,459 So I wrote monologues for all these characters 111 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,002 dealing with terrorism. 112 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,962 It was called "The Lowest Show on Earth." 113 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,048 And the very first monologue was Buddy Cole 114 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:45,344 going to Afghanistan to take on the Taliban 115 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:50,099 and bring home a vial of sweet-smelling anthrax. 116 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,685 I start doing the show, traveling around, 117 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,980 and I landed a six-week run in New York. 118 00:04:56,004 --> 00:05:00,026 {\an8}♪♪ 119 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,277 [ Indistinct conversations ] 120 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,528 [ Horn honks ] 121 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,779 [ Indistinct conversations ] 122 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,656 [ Cheers and applause ] 123 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,868 -Fans and celebrities alike gave their regards to Broadway... 124 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,829 Mel Brooks' new musical version of "The Producers." 125 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,123 {\an8}-Matthew and I once had a lunch where we said, 126 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,958 {\an8}"This will either be the biggest hit 127 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,127 {\an8}or the biggest flop in history." 128 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,795 -You're looking at the man 129 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:23,591 who single-handedly changed the face of Broadway. 130 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,676 Now it's permanently disfigured. 131 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,094 [ Laughter ] 132 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,638 -And it turned out to be the biggest hit. 133 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,014 -Since it opened in April, 134 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,433 the show has smashed box-office records 135 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,353 on the way to becoming the hottest show on Broadway 136 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,938 in more than two decades. 137 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,191 -Won 12 Tony Awards, the most Tony Awards in history. 138 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,235 It was the "Hamilton" of its day. 139 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,111 -There will never be a bigger hit, 140 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,738 and I will never be more powerful. 141 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,532 I'm the king of the world! 142 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:51,285 [ Cheers and applause ] 143 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:56,415 -My show was to open in New York on September the 19th, 2001. 144 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,875 This is going to be it from me. 145 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,293 I'm gonna play all these characters. 146 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,128 It was gonna launch me to the next level. 147 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,798 And I thought, "I got to create a poster that really... 148 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,591 People are gonna talk about." 149 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,135 And it was me with a shaved head, right? 150 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,804 Like, as if I'd just been smacked, 151 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:14,517 {\an8}and a giant glob of cum going down my face. 152 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,018 {\an8}September the 10th, 153 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,979 I had 10,000 posters made, 154 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,106 and they went all over New York. 155 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,733 [ Chuckling ] And I thought, "Oh, boy. 156 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,403 I can't wait to see how New York reacts to this. 157 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,446 {\an8}♪♪ 158 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,408 {\an8}-I just gone through the World Trade Center 159 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,159 the day before, on 9/10, 160 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,452 without knowing that I'd be looking at it 161 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,704 for the last time. 162 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,080 {\an8}-I did Luna Lounge, 163 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,665 {\an8}and I think it was for the first time, 164 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,500 {\an8}so I was really... I was all pumped and excited. 165 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,127 {\an8}And David Cross was the emcee. 166 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,670 {\an8}-It was just loose and fun, 167 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,880 {\an8}and then we all went to Max Fish across the street. 168 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,425 We were all just drunk, partying. 169 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,176 -I was a New York City police officer. 170 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,387 I was probably doing comedy two years. 171 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,473 {\an8}But on this particular night, on September 10th, 172 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:58,144 {\an8}I had done my regular tour at work, went home, 173 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,104 schlepped all the way back into the city 174 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,815 for this industry night, and I did really well. 175 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,692 I actually got like two people that approached me 176 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,110 and gave me a card. 177 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,696 And I drove home, man... I was, like, on a cloud. 178 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,365 {\an8}♪♪ 179 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:15,620 -I believe it was the last innocent day 180 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,663 [Voice breaking] America ever had. 181 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,606 That's, of course, a total crock of shit. 182 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,544 -I woke up to Howard Stern. 183 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,212 -You can tell when a woman wants you, 184 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,131 and you can tell when a woman's just being friendly. 185 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,091 -Yeah. I heard she was into Beetlejuice, too. 186 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,384 I heard she came on to Beetlejuice. 187 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,094 - Yeah, right. - I don't mean 188 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,388 to interrupt the fun, but this is a breaking news story, 189 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,182 a serious news story. - What? 190 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:40,102 -A plane has crashed into the World Trade Center. 191 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,354 -You're kidding! 192 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,272 {\an8}-I was working at Goldman Sachs, 193 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,359 so we were evacuated immediately. 194 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,528 Pretty much figured an amateur pilot flying too low. 195 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,948 {\an8}-Someone learning how to fly, and they screwed up. 196 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:57,203 {\an8}-I was a volunteer EMT, went down to the Trade Center. 197 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,997 I had a friend, a safety volunteer at the Twin Towers. 198 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,166 He told me where the triage center was. 199 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,503 And I stood there, and he kept bringing me people. 200 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:08,381 {\an8}-It didn't occur to anyone that it was intentional 201 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,133 {\an8}until the second plane hit. 202 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,552 {\an8}-It was like, "Holy shit!" 203 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,888 -And that's when people started to figure out 204 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:20,476 that this was a premeditated terror attack, 205 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:25,773 and that's when the paradigm started to shift. 206 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,694 {\an8}♪♪ 207 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,362 {\an8}- What do you got there, John? - The Pentagon. 208 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,863 - The Pentagon. What? - Alright, here, we're going... 209 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,490 -Stop it. What? Is there another explosion? 210 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,741 -Wait. What's going... Is there another explosion? 211 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,034 -At the Pentagon. 212 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,494 {\an8}-They just attacked the Pentagon. 213 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,787 {\an8}- Turn it up. - I'm walking down the stairs, 214 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,789 {\an8}and this guy says... And I quote... 215 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:45,084 {\an8}"Yo, yo, 'Scary Movie 2,' they just bombed the Pentagon." 216 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,836 It's World War III and shit." 217 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,296 -That's when it was just a big wave of... of uncertainty, 218 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,340 and then the fear came in, and then the panic came in. 219 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,135 -There's this sense of, 220 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,262 "This was calculated and we're under attack," 221 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,014 but we had no real concrete information. 222 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,975 Boy, the next couple hours were just terrifying. 223 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:05,354 {\an8}♪♪ 224 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,064 -And then I'm like, "What are those things?" 225 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:11,277 You could see what... At first, I was like, 226 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,611 "Furniture's falling," you know. 227 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,530 Anyway, you know what I'm about to say. 228 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,449 {\an8}-I remember it. I'll always remember it. 229 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:20,286 {\an8}I don't want to look... see the people jumping out of windows. 230 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:23,122 {\an8}♪♪ 231 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,749 - And then they were just gone. - Oh, no. 232 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,083 - Wait a second. What happened? - Oh, my God. 233 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,334 - Tom, what happened? - Oh, my God. 234 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:28,627 - What just happened? - Oh, my God. 235 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:29,879 - Oh, the whole... - What just happened? 236 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,464 Look at that. - God. 237 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,715 -Oh, the whole World Trade Center just collapsed. 238 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,365 -The earth just shook. 239 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,262 Everything was white... Like, it looked like someone 240 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,931 had just put a sheet of paper in front of my face. 241 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,475 At that point, you can't even move. 242 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:46,479 And then some guy was chanting the "Our Father." 243 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:49,940 That was probably the worst experience in terms of, 244 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,359 "Oh, this is it. I'm... I'm going to die." 245 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,611 [ Chuckles ] 246 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,488 {\an8}♪♪ 247 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:58,282 {\an8}-I watched the footage on television, the... 248 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,743 {\an8}♪♪ 249 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,496 apocalyptic footage, 250 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,499 things you might see at the end of the world. 251 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,209 -I'll never forget... The girders looked like 252 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,253 Satan's trident coming out of Hell. 253 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,963 -Then you started to think, uh, 254 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,758 "Some... Something is different forever." 255 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:19,887 {\an8}♪♪ 256 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,514 -The night of September 11th, I got a call 257 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,265 from my commanding officer 258 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,392 to go down and start working on Ground Zero. 259 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,686 You couldn't bring in heavy machinery 260 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,438 'cause it might cause cave-ins. 261 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,816 {\an8}And we didn't know if there were survivors. 262 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,693 So we had to move as much as we could by hand, 263 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,570 pass empty buckets up, 264 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,197 they'd fill them, and we'd pass them down. 265 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,533 And we worked 12 hours on, 12 hours off, 266 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,869 12 hours on, 12 hours off until the 18th. 267 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,832 At that point, they declared it no longer search and rescue, 268 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,708 but search and recovery. 269 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,546 -I worked every single day from that point on... 270 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,756 More than three weeks of 14-hour days. 271 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,050 We formed a chain of evidence. They had a meat wagon... 272 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,262 That's what they call the Medical Examiner's Office. 273 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,430 And anything that... Any body part 274 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,683 that they thought might be human down at Ground Zero 275 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,560 got its own body bag. 276 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,271 They would extract DNA from it, and then it would get a number 277 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:13,399 so they can build up that database to do comparisons 278 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,693 between the people that were, uh, missing 279 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:16,944 and the people that they found. 280 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,654 This firefighter comes in, 281 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,282 and he's got a pillowcase over his shoulder, 282 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,951 and he dumps it on, um, on my desk, 283 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,495 and he goes, "There's 17 of my buddies in there." 284 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,080 Inside the bags were, you know, 285 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,790 whatever they collected from the... 286 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,458 The firefighters' locker... A toothbrush, a hairbrush. 287 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,420 That was it. I mean, that... That hit home, like... 288 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,380 That's when I finally had my breakout moment 289 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,173 and when... When I started crying. 290 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,800 {\an8}♪♪ 291 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:43,429 {\an8}-People were completely drowning in it emotionally. 292 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,598 {\an8}-It was like a mental war zone. 293 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,391 {\an8}Even if you wanted to be happy, you couldn't. 294 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,684 {\an8}-I remember even trying to, like, 295 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,935 {\an8}get a little break from the news. 296 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,438 {\an8}And I turned on Comedy Central, 297 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:56,984 {\an8}and even "South Park" had a hotline to call. 298 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,527 {\an8}It was just like, "Wow. 299 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,864 {\an8}Even the Comedy Network is depressing right now." 300 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,116 {\an8}[ Laughs ] 301 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,076 {\an8}-Everything changed in that moment 302 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,828 {\an8}for kind of a generation, 303 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,539 {\an8}but it was hard to know what the repercussions would be. 304 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,292 -It was a really weird and difficult time. 305 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,753 {\an8}And I thought, "How difficult is it going to be 306 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,464 {\an8}for comedy to revive after this?" 307 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,633 {\an8}-I didn't know how anybody could be funny again. 308 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,552 {\an8}It was kind of like that song "The day the music died"... 309 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:27,431 It felt like the day that comedy died. 310 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,974 -I remember calling Bernie Brophy, 311 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,268 my manager at the time, and even he was like, 312 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,896 "I don't know, kid. Might be out of business." 313 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,439 -The comedy clubs closed. 314 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,774 It was the first time I'd ever seen them close. 315 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:38,192 {\an8}-Are we even allowed to be funny? 316 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,486 {\an8}-How do you make a joke ever again now? 317 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,905 {\an8}-And I remember people saying, "Can we laugh again? 318 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,074 {\an8}When is it safe to laugh again?" 319 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,867 -And who was going to show up? 320 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,369 {\an8}-And then there was, of course, 321 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,996 {\an8}the whole slew of think pieces... 322 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,831 {\an8}"Will we ever laugh again?" 323 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,125 -Newsweek ... they used to have in the front section, 324 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,711 like, little quotes from the week. 325 00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,923 {\an8}And that week, there was a quote from me. 326 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,635 {\an8}It really didn't feel to anyone that irony made sense. 327 00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,220 You know, your... Your irony is always 328 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,763 kind of anti-establishment, 329 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,933 and it's difficult to feel anti-establishment 330 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:15,062 when the establishment is lying in smoking ruins at your feet. 331 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,940 -Is comedy dead? No, it's necessary. 332 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,359 How the... do you think you live every day 333 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,987 in this goddamn world? [ Laughter ] 334 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,990 -I don't know how else to process something that horrific. 335 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,200 {\an8}-Laughter is, like, one of the first few things people go to 336 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,827 {\an8}in a terrible time. 337 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,620 -A comedian's natural response 338 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,999 is to try to find the... The humor, 339 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,334 even in the darkest of situations. 340 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,919 -Where comedy exists, I suppose, 341 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,338 is... is between what people are thinking 342 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:44,591 and what is socially acceptable to say. 343 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,760 And we kind of push the boundary a little bit. 344 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,013 {\an8}-You need something to burst the tension in the room, 345 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:51,432 {\an8}and that's what comedy is supposed to do. 346 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,892 {\an8}-You ask any group of comedians anywhere in the world, 347 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,271 they'll tell you, like, within 30 minutes or an hour, 348 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,522 someone made a joke. 349 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,232 -Stuff like, "Does this mean, 350 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,943 uh, the Yankee game is canceled?" 351 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,904 -In that moment, that's what... That's how you cry. 352 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,323 That's how you process grief and trauma 353 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,909 and share your feelings with each other. 354 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,411 {\an8}-Before we even went off 355 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,538 {\an8}and all the comics came and gathered here. 356 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:15,998 {\an8}It's home. 357 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,168 {\an8}-I remember thinking, like, "We'll open again 358 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,378 {\an8}when people start calling the club and want to see comedy. 359 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,921 And when people want to come out and laugh, 360 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,132 that... we'll be here, ready for them. 361 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,468 But I'm not going to... I'm not going to push it." 362 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,678 -You saw, like, one of the biggest cities in the world, 363 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,263 just shut down. 364 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,098 {\an8}-In New York, the set of "Live with Regis and Kelly" 365 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,892 {\an8}remained dark. 366 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,686 {\an8}Fashion Week has been canceled and will not be rescheduled. 367 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,939 {\an8}All Broadway shows have been suspended until further notice. 368 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,524 {\an8}♪♪ 369 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,984 -It was still a little bit scary 370 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,569 to be in Times Square. - Yes. 371 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:48,363 -There were police absolutely everywhere. 372 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,199 Is something else going to explode? 373 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,784 [ Siren wailing ] 374 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,744 {\an8}♪♪ 375 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,204 -I thought my show would still go on. 376 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,914 I thought, "Oh, yeah. 377 00:14:56,938 --> 00:15:00,084 New York's gonna want a comedy show about terrorism." 378 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,710 I was so deluded. 379 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,505 I really thought, "I'm gonna help them through it." 380 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,757 -The powers that be have decided we're going to be depressed 381 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,675 {\an8}over this thing for a minute. 382 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,637 {\an8}And anybody who tries to break the depression 383 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,681 is considered an insensitive asshole. 384 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,601 And you could... up your career forever. 385 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,311 -I'd worked so hard for this. 386 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:22,147 Like, I'd put my heart and soul into it. 387 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,690 It was the best thing I'd ever done. 388 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,692 A few months later, I remounted it in Toronto, 389 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,653 but it was a disaster. 390 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,822 People were, like, disgusted 391 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:34,076 that I would talk about these things so soon after 9/11. 392 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,619 And that was the end of it. 393 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,539 My career, I don't think, ever really recovered. 394 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,916 -Terrorist comedy show. That's a... 395 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,876 Talk about bad timing. - Yeah, that's bad. 396 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,128 I wouldn't know how to... - Yeah. 397 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,796 - work my way out of that. 398 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,340 -I thought that we wouldn't be going back to the show 399 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,802 for a while, that this would be a long break. 400 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,888 And then that was when Rudy Giuliani... 401 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,974 Remember when we... this is when we used to like him... 402 00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,351 When... When he hadn't gone insane 403 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,062 and he was America's Mayor... He was saying 404 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,356 we should go back to work... It was important. 405 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,317 -We're going to, uh, go to public events 406 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:11,488 and we're going to do the things that we normally would do. 407 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:14,324 -New Yorkers were going on with their lives, 408 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:19,496 and it was open for business, and... but it seemed very... 409 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,623 It was literally, wasn't it, a Thursday? 410 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,293 -Yeah, the attack was on a Tuesday, 411 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,461 and the show was on Thursday. 412 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,548 -It did seem too soon to go back. 413 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,675 Like, who... and who's going to show up and why? 414 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,135 -Yeah, who can get in from the... 415 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,511 - And who wants to see this... - In America. 416 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,722 - nonsense now? 417 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,581 [ Applause ] 418 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,813 {\an8}-Giuliani has asked that we put ourselves back up. 419 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,609 {\an8}-It just seemed wrong. It felt truly wrong. 420 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,319 And yet, you know, we were try... 421 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,446 Doing what we were being asked to do. 422 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,073 -We all want to do something to, you know, 423 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,576 help the city, you know, in this terrible time. 424 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,746 And, uh, so it's always great to have an opportunity. 425 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,457 So we're all just happy to have a little way 426 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,626 that we can help get the city going again. 427 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:09,296 -The show started. It was a... A smaller house, of course. 428 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,797 It was very quiet. 429 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,717 And the opening number, which is raucous and fun 430 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:16,261 and... and always brought the house down... 431 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,846 It was... it was... it... 432 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,015 Everyone was a little tentative about all of it. 433 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,351 -♪ Opening night, it's opening night ♪ 434 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:26,146 -Then, slowly but surely, the audience started to engage 435 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,858 and feel, obviously, that it was okay to laugh. 436 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,654 -It's gonna be our job to fill that safe with $2 million. 437 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:34,905 -$2 million?! Gee! 438 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,032 How much do we put in? 439 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,868 {\an8}[ Laughter ] 440 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,871 {\an8}-I remember feeling cheered by the fact that 441 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:46,708 people were still able to come and sit in an audience, 442 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,169 look at people in costumes and play along... 443 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,506 That that still was possible was a great relief. 444 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:56,593 {\an8}- ♪ He's the celebration of love ♪ 445 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,679 -It was an... also an escape, 446 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:02,182 gave them two hours not to think about 447 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,393 what was happening outside. 448 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,104 It was a bit of a miracle that it... 449 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,814 When it all comes together that way. 450 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,525 It was just the right show at the right time. 451 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,987 [ Cheers and applause ] 452 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,822 {\an8}♪♪ 453 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:20,075 {\an8}-The comedy clubs opened up, I think, the Friday after. 454 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,369 -And I remember finding my way to the Comedy Cellar. 455 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,204 {\an8}It was a small crowd. 456 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,498 I go, "What's wrong with you people? 457 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,209 Don't you have anywhere else you could be?" 458 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,503 And in some cases, people just did it. 459 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,381 {\an8}-People needed to do something. I don't think they knew, 460 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,008 {\an8}but they needed to get out 461 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,218 {\an8}and, you know, be around other people. 462 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,513 {\an8}-I had to find a way to also make myself feel better. 463 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:44,891 {\an8}So I would just try and tell jokes, 464 00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,893 {\an8}but it felt weird to tell jokes. 465 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,896 {\an8}-It's not scripted. It's not a TV show. 466 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,316 {\an8}It's not on Broadway. It's not theater. 467 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,526 You don't know how the comic feels 468 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,278 when he walks in through that door. 469 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,155 You don't know what the audience member feels. 470 00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,948 -You know, nobody knew what to do. 471 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,825 {\an8}And are you gonna bring it up? How do you not bring it up? 472 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,660 {\an8}And it was those discussions going on. 473 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,912 {\an8}-Talk about sensitive topics... 474 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:10,250 {\an8}how the audience would react to anything light or funny. 475 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,878 {\an8}-We didn't even know if we were supposed to touch on the topic, 476 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,463 {\an8}not touch on the topic. 477 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,839 {\an8}You talked about something, and somehow it was like, 478 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,591 {\an8}"Oh, I lost a family member in there." 479 00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,259 {\an8}-You would see kind of those pauses. 480 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:22,387 {\an8}You know, where they would have, like, a rapid-fire flow, 481 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,680 that wasn't happening. 482 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,098 -I felt like the audience... 483 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,600 {\an8}they didn't even want to hear about it. 484 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,018 {\an8}-I don't think anyone came out guns blazing. 485 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,478 -The audience wanted something, 486 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,313 and I wanted to give them something, 487 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,939 but I didn't know what that was. 488 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,692 So we were stumbling around together to find it. 489 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,945 -The audience and everybody else 490 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:44,951 felt more gentle, more inclusive, warm feeling. 491 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,828 -And a week after 9/11, we started doing shows, 492 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,915 laughed inappropriately loud 493 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,459 at jokes that did not merit that kind of laughter, 494 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:56,296 normal jokes that got like a 2 in laughs pre-9/11 495 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,881 were getting like 8 after. 496 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,300 -Like, me... I'm gonna forget this... crowd 497 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,427 as soon as I walk out of here. [ Laughter and applause ] 498 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,221 {\an8}-They were desperate to laugh, 499 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,932 {\an8}and you were sort of desperate to tell jokes, 500 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,475 and everyone was sort of desperate 501 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,935 for this whole thing to work. 502 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,603 -We just kept talking to connect, 503 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,271 to get some kind of normalcy, 504 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,524 to find... to find a foothold to climb out of this. 505 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,775 -As comedians in New York, 506 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,527 we were grieving like everyone else. 507 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,196 We just dealt with it onstage night in and night out, 508 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,989 going, "This is what I'm going through." 509 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,575 And people laughing, and when they laugh, 510 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,244 you're like, "I'll get through it." 511 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,830 -It was almost like, "Okay, we got knocked down. 512 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,373 We went through some terrible things. 513 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,791 We're gonna dust ourselves off." 514 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:35,460 -A show of resistance and strength 515 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:41,007 to not let this disrupt, you know, our way of life, 516 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,635 that, you know, we're not going to be 517 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:46,596 completely culturally annihilated by this. 518 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,974 -It was a big "...you" to terrorists. 519 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,476 You know what? Yeah, okay, you took that shot. 520 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,563 Well, we're... back. [ Laughter and applause ] 521 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,816 -If you're going to a comedy club on September 17, 2001, 522 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,484 you're hardcore, 523 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,695 versus, you know, maybe a late-night show. 524 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,405 They're talking to a larger audience. 525 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,323 They're freaked out. So they felt like 526 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,451 they had to tread a little more lightly when they came in. 527 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:11,204 -And I can remember flying back to the city, looking downtown, 528 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,081 and all you saw were the... - Terrible. 529 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,499 - the rising pillars of smoke. 530 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,543 {\an8}So I was trepidations about it 531 00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:19,212 {\an8}because I didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. 532 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,089 {\an8}-The process that we put the show together 533 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,967 {\an8}is always going to be affected by the climate that we live in. 534 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,635 {\an8}And there was a pall cast over the country. 535 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:29,222 {\an8}But also, you know, you're fighting your own sadness. 536 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,141 {\an8}Some of us thought maybe the show would have to return 537 00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:34,644 {\an8}to being more of a parody and a spoof, 538 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,104 you know, kind of like a Mad magazine. 539 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,064 I know Jon was thinking hard 540 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:42,152 about how the show could come back and what it would be. 541 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:44,029 {\an8}-It was also a sense of like, "Alright, well, 542 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:47,908 {\an8}we're gonna do what we can to, like, make comedy." 543 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,784 And everybody felt that obligation like, 544 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,578 "Great, let's... Let's try to do this." 545 00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,456 -It just sort of was collectively understood 546 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,167 David Letterman would be the first back on air. 547 00:21:57,191 --> 00:22:00,295 {\an8}-And we all wanted to know what Letterman was going to say. 548 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:03,089 {\an8}-It just really felt like he was the elder in the room, 549 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,926 {\an8}and it was the respectful thing to do 550 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:07,928 to allow him to go on first. 551 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,180 -He was the person who would know what to say, 552 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:11,765 {\an8}how to handle it in comedy. 553 00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,808 {\an8}-On the Monday that we came back, 554 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:16,436 {\an8}they said to me, "When you do the warm-up, um, 555 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,606 {\an8}obviously there's going to be some tension in the room." 556 00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:22,776 {\an8}-As late as 4:00, I was talking to various people on the staff 557 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,736 {\an8}about, "Are we honestly gonna do a show?" 558 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,573 -I still did what I had to do. It got some laughs. 559 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,158 Again, it felt really nice. 560 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,369 And then Dave came out and told them, 561 00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:34,871 "Hey, you know, just be patient with me." 562 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,916 {\an8}-And I was just trying to justify returning to the air 563 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:40,710 {\an8}with a comedy variety talk show 564 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:42,379 {\an8}less than a week after the attack. 565 00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:44,756 -He was very, very sincere and lovely. 566 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,716 And... And then, when the show started, 567 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,052 he made his opening announcement. 568 00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,637 -You're watching and you're confused 569 00:22:50,661 --> 00:22:52,973 and... and... and depressed and... and irritated 570 00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:55,308 and... and angry and full of grief. 571 00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:56,601 And you don't know how to behave, 572 00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,103 and you're not sure what to do. 573 00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,646 And you don't really... 574 00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:01,231 Because we've never been through this before. 575 00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:04,442 {\an8}-To see him human... Didn't know how to take it. 576 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,486 This was "Stupid Pet Tricks" guy. 577 00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,655 -We're gonna... We're gonna try and feel our way through this, 578 00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,991 and, uh, uh, we'll just see how it goes. 579 00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:13,994 {\an8}-They have to have a really earnest opening statement 580 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:16,955 {\an8}and then kind of slowly go into jokes. 581 00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:18,999 -They had the serious chat with Dan Rather, 582 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:22,210 and then they brought in comedy at the end, Regis Philbin. 583 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,962 -And I don't mean to be silly about this, 584 00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:26,965 but you experienced Pearl Harbor, I think, right? 585 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:29,217 -Well, I wasn't there. [ Laughter ] 586 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,969 I wasn't there, if that's what you're asking. 587 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:32,721 -You... You were on... You were on the air then, too... 588 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:35,390 Weren't you? - No, I wasn't on the air. 589 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:37,142 -I'm sorry. I thought maybe you were. 590 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:39,853 {\an8}-I remember that being very much of a catharsis. 591 00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,731 I don't want some saccharine, stevia guy 592 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,566 helping me process tragedy. 593 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,819 But the fact that you knew that this affected Letterman 594 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,529 the way it affected him... 595 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:52,616 That's the best part of art to me... and culture. 596 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,493 And this is who we kind of help process stuff through, 597 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:58,705 whether it's the daily events or a tragedy. 598 00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:00,874 -There's something about that tradition of late-night TV. 599 00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:02,125 They know their audience, and they knew 600 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,501 what people were ready for. 601 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:05,670 {\an8}-For about a week, they were super serious, 602 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,380 just suddenly turned into 603 00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:09,090 these group therapy sessions for everybody. 604 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:11,217 -We all wanted to commiserate with that person, 605 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:12,719 share the same feelings as well. 606 00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:15,430 {\an8}-Jon really helped people through a lot of stuff 607 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,515 {\an8}because there's sort of like this feeling of like, 608 00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:19,351 "What's going on here? Like how do I... What do I... 609 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,186 How do I process this?" 610 00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,521 {\an1}-I just... I wanted to tell you why I [Voice breaking] grieve... 611 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,273 [ Sniffles ] 612 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,525 [ Sighs ] 613 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,527 but why I don't despair. 614 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,779 [ Sniffles ] 615 00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:33,448 -It was very real and emotional. 616 00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:36,409 -The show probably, from that moment on, 617 00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:41,539 {\an8}felt less bound by the idea that this is a half-hour comedy. 618 00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:45,543 {\an8}Jon himself became a lot more willing to be serious 619 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,253 in his remarks on the show. 620 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:48,797 -A lot of folks have asked me, 621 00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:50,131 "What are you gonna do when you get back? 622 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:51,841 What are... What are you gonna say? 623 00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:53,760 I mean, that, geez... What a... What a terrible thing, 624 00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:55,470 uh, to have to do." 625 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:58,056 And... And I don't see it as a burden at all. 626 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,350 I... I... 627 00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:03,853 I see it as a privilege and... 628 00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:05,814 [ Chuckles ] 629 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:07,107 I just... I see it as a privilege, 630 00:25:07,131 --> 00:25:08,650 and everyone here does. 631 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:10,735 -And that's when I realized, "Yeah, my job 632 00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:13,113 is to at least articulate what I'm feeling 633 00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,532 and hope that that connects to some... somebody else, 634 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,909 'cause that's healing. When you're not alone... 635 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,370 That's the healing part of... Of my job. 636 00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:22,872 {\an8}-It was pretty amazing to watch the smartest guys on television 637 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:25,291 walk that tightrope of dealing with something so serious 638 00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:27,794 and then getting back to being the circus acts that we are. 639 00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:29,963 {\an8}-We're supposed to make you happy and make you laugh. 640 00:25:29,987 --> 00:25:32,132 And yet, they had to be cautious about it. 641 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:35,468 -Not skirt the issue, but it's also important 642 00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:39,222 not to offend anyone, to hurt anyone. 643 00:25:39,246 --> 00:25:43,309 {\an1}-The irreverent Bill Maher, the host of "Politically Incorrect," 644 00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:46,354 learned the limits of dissent when he made this comment 645 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:49,190 less than a week after the September 11 attacks. 646 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:52,652 -We have been the cowards. Lobbing cruise missiles 647 00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:55,321 from 2,000 miles away... - Absolutely. 648 00:25:55,345 --> 00:25:56,990 - That's cowardly. - Yes. 649 00:25:57,014 --> 00:25:59,659 -Staying in the airplane when it hits the building... 650 00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:01,619 Say what you want about it... Not cowardly. 651 00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:05,290 {\an8}-Bill Maher lost his job because of a statement about 9/11, 652 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,542 {\an8}a statement that was factual. 653 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,462 So there definitely was this fear of stating facts 654 00:26:10,486 --> 00:26:13,339 [laughs] because it might get you in trouble. 655 00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:15,717 -And the White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer 656 00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:17,761 issued a cautionary note. 657 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:20,680 {\an8}-A reminder for all American that they need to... 658 00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:22,724 {\an8}to watch what they say, watch what they do. 659 00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:25,435 {\an8}And this is not a time for remarks like that. 660 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,377 There never is. 661 00:26:31,215 --> 00:26:34,068 {\an8}-I cleaned out my office on September 18th, 662 00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:36,905 {\an8}uh, which was the day after I made those remarks 663 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,990 {\an8}about the terrorists not being cowards. 664 00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:41,910 {\an8}Um... - You mean you expected it then? 665 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:44,120 {\an8}-[ Chuckling ] Yeah, I pretty much knew it. 666 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:48,917 {\an8}-Is all bravery noble? Maybe not. Maybe not. 667 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:52,253 But I'm glad he said it because I think it's a... a statement 668 00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,923 that's provocative and got people talking 669 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,550 and, also, showed the true colors of where we are at 670 00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:00,261 when it comes to speech and policing of it. 671 00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:02,639 {\an8}-I think it's okay for people to go, "Look, I'm offended." 672 00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:05,558 {\an8}It's valid. Okay. Don't listen to any more, then. 673 00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,644 {\an8}But the idea that you go from being offended by something 674 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:09,187 and saying, "I don't want to hear that," 675 00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,564 to saying, "I don't want anyone to hear that... 676 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,525 Shouldn't be allowed to say that"... 677 00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:15,068 That, for me, is too far. 678 00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:17,904 {\an8}-There are people that will galvanize and say, 679 00:27:17,928 --> 00:27:19,948 "We didn't like that he said this, 680 00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:21,491 and now we're going to write letters, 681 00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:23,785 and now we're going to shut down your career." 682 00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:25,954 {\an8}-When there's tragedy, 683 00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:29,999 {\an8}people need to create drama that might not exist 684 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:32,919 to circumvent the drama that really exists 685 00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:34,254 that's really hard. 686 00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:35,797 -If I had said it three months later, 687 00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,215 no one would have even noticed. 688 00:27:37,239 --> 00:27:39,050 -We made this decision that it was 689 00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:41,928 {\an8}not the time to be funny... Well, it's the time to be funny. 690 00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:47,100 -You should be able to do comedy that's good and wise and funny 691 00:27:47,124 --> 00:27:51,187 the day before a tragedy or the day after a tragedy. 692 00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,689 And The Onion proved that. 693 00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:55,900 {\an8}-It was still kind of an underground 694 00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:57,777 {\an8}little independent publication. 695 00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:59,654 -Well, for instance, I mean, we were the first ones to break 696 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,282 the story of the secret of fire falling into Russian hands. 697 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:06,077 -"NFL Star Thanks Jesus After Successful Double Homicide." 698 00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:09,080 -"New Remote Control Can Be Operated By Remote." 699 00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:11,583 {\an8}- "Texans Elect Gun." 700 00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:13,084 -Where do they come up with this stuff? 701 00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:15,253 -There's the adage comedy equals tragedy plus time, 702 00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:17,505 which is pretty much The Onion's operating principle, 703 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,508 only we basically skip the time part. 704 00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:25,388 {\an8}-So, we... we had just arrived in New York in January of 2001, 705 00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:28,016 which seemed like a good idea at the time. 706 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,726 {\an8}-This was back when The Onion was... 707 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,811 {\an8}had newspapers on the street, physical newspapers. 708 00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:33,605 {\an8}-We'd been here nine months 709 00:28:33,629 --> 00:28:36,357 {\an8}and still hadn't put out issues on the street in New York. 710 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,484 -Finally got it together enough to have, you know, an issue. 711 00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:40,820 And we're having a party to celebrate that. 712 00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:44,490 And that was, um, September 10th. 713 00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:46,659 -We ended up not running anything. 714 00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:49,996 -By the end of the week, we decided that we would, 715 00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:52,916 you know, come back into work on Monday like normal. 716 00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:55,627 And I think everyone was just fine with that 717 00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:58,046 because all you did was just, like, 718 00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,757 watch TV and read the papers and be sad. 719 00:29:00,781 --> 00:29:02,884 And I think it wasn't a terrible idea 720 00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:05,178 to sort of get back to what you were doing, 721 00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:08,139 even though what we were doing was writing jokes. 722 00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:11,100 But it just was better than doing nothing. 723 00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:14,145 {\an8}-That's a great human coping mechanism, 724 00:29:14,169 --> 00:29:15,897 {\an8}is laughing at things. 725 00:29:15,921 --> 00:29:19,025 {\an8}Finding the right thing to laugh at, you know, is hard. 726 00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:21,653 -We realized we had to address it with at least one article 727 00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:23,071 and the rest would be different. 728 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:25,323 -One was about ketchup packets, you know, 729 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:27,659 so we were just, like, looking, you know, like, 730 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:30,286 "Okay, here's... here's a story about, like, global terrorism 731 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:32,789 and the death of... Of 3,000 people. 732 00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:35,375 Uh, and then here's one about, like, ketchup packets." 733 00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:38,419 -And then we realized, like, anything that was different 734 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,755 would just stand out and just be absurd. 735 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:46,719 -It just seemed crazy that we would talk about anything 736 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:50,473 but this horrible tragedy that was happening all around us 737 00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:54,185 that was on everyone's mind... Like, how would you avoid it? 738 00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:56,020 -It was almost unbelievable to us that we were doing it, 739 00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:59,607 but we... we had decided that we were gonna do the entire issue 740 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,109 about what had happened. 741 00:30:01,133 --> 00:30:02,777 We were very, very worried 742 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,362 that people would misunderstand what we'd written, 743 00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:07,115 that people would think that we were mocking it 744 00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,492 or acting above it. 745 00:30:09,516 --> 00:30:12,954 And that was the last thought on any of our minds. 746 00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:15,289 We chose the jokes very carefully. 747 00:30:15,313 --> 00:30:17,458 And we... we... We discussed everything. 748 00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:20,044 And it was, like, one of the most intense 749 00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:22,380 Onion writers' room meetings that there ever was. 750 00:30:22,404 --> 00:30:25,174 {\an8}-Occasionally, there was a joke where we all just kind of, 751 00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:27,760 {\an8}you know, went and said, "Ohh, we can't do that." 752 00:30:27,784 --> 00:30:29,679 -Tim Harrod pitched something that said, 753 00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:33,516 "America Undefeatable, Say Quadragon Officials." 754 00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:36,144 [ Chuckles ] It's quite clever and very funny, 755 00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:39,397 but we're just like, "Well, the butt of that joke 756 00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:41,733 is sort of the dead people at the Pentagon." 757 00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:44,610 And that didn't seem like an appropriate target. 758 00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:47,238 -We all had a good internal laugh about it, 759 00:30:47,262 --> 00:30:49,115 and said, "Next." 760 00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:51,034 -It was very, very hard to pick the issue... 761 00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:52,910 A lot of soul-searching. 762 00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:56,706 -All the headlines were kind of in the same mode of 763 00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:59,792 just observing the tragedy and giving voice 764 00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:02,295 to the... The collective experience 765 00:31:02,319 --> 00:31:04,172 of the tragedy that we were feeling. 766 00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:07,133 {\an8}"U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With." 767 00:31:07,157 --> 00:31:09,761 {\an8}-The jump graphic for that article... 768 00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:11,846 {\an8}there was a map of the world, 769 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:15,725 {\an8}and the map had a key... "Known locations of terrorists." 770 00:31:15,749 --> 00:31:17,643 {\an8}And then, with lines, it was 771 00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:19,228 {\an8}"Possible locations of terrorists," 772 00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:20,938 {\an8}and the entire map was all lines. 773 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,566 -One of them that I wrote was, 774 00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:28,321 "Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake." 775 00:31:28,345 --> 00:31:32,533 {\an1}The genesis for that one was we were just in someone's backyard, 776 00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:33,951 and this woman, like, brought out this cake, 777 00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:35,870 this American flag cake. 778 00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:40,041 It was, you know, very resonant about her funneling her sadness 779 00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:42,168 or her inability to do anything else 780 00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:45,296 {\an8}into this dumb little cake with stripes, 781 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,757 {\an8}with strawberries, and little blueberries. 782 00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:50,134 -That story, I think, was very beautiful 783 00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,220 and very sincere, which is, you know, 784 00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:54,138 these are things that you normally don't think of 785 00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,723 when you think of The Onion. 786 00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:57,683 A story I wrote was called 787 00:31:57,707 --> 00:32:00,603 "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule." 788 00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:03,314 -You read that and you laugh, but it's just so deeply sad. 789 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:07,527 -These murders had been committed for religious reason, 790 00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:09,862 because someone thought God wanted it done. 791 00:32:09,886 --> 00:32:14,742 {\an1}And I was 100% sure that anyone who knew anything about religion 792 00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:16,619 would not agree. 793 00:32:16,643 --> 00:32:20,456 {\an8}The purpose of God is to get us to not kill each other. 794 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:21,916 And it just struck me as so sad 795 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:25,670 {\an8}that it was going to create Islamophobia, 796 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,421 {\an8}and it was going to create 797 00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:29,340 {\an8}all this long-term cultural antagonism 798 00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:30,967 that was already bad, 799 00:32:30,991 --> 00:32:32,218 but was going to become much, much worse. 800 00:32:32,242 --> 00:32:35,763 And it just seemed so tragic. 801 00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:39,183 {\an8}And so that story that I ended up writing, 802 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:40,726 {\an8}I mean, it was a weepy story, 803 00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:42,687 {\an8}embarrassingly maudlin in some ways, I guess. 804 00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:45,481 {\an8}But, I mean, I was crying when I wrote it. 805 00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:49,694 -I think that we all just were helping ourselves. 806 00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:51,654 I don't think we ever were like, "Oh, we're doing something 807 00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:54,448 good for... for America or good for other people." 808 00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:57,118 The Onion writers have always been very sincere 809 00:32:57,142 --> 00:32:58,911 in what they're trying to say. 810 00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:01,289 {\an8}Even if they use sarcasm as the way 811 00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:02,874 {\an8}of conveying their message, 812 00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,751 the message is not sarcastic. 813 00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:08,129 -We just did not want to offend anyone, 814 00:33:08,153 --> 00:33:09,797 and we were nervous. 815 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:11,215 -When we came to work on the day 816 00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:13,718 that the issue actually went up online, 817 00:33:13,742 --> 00:33:15,887 the first thing we saw was a fax... 818 00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:18,264 Now, this is back with faxes... 819 00:33:18,288 --> 00:33:20,933 And it just said, "Not funny, not funny." 820 00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:22,643 {\an8}"Not funny, not funny, not funny." 821 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:25,354 {\an8}- In really big letters. - Like it was yelling at you. 822 00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:27,648 {\an8}-I thought that we would be run out of New York, 823 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:30,985 {\an8}if not the nation, by a torch-wielding mob. 824 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:33,362 -It just felt like, "Oh, God, this is... 825 00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:35,281 This is... you know, this is it. 826 00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:38,284 Like... we failed." 827 00:33:38,308 --> 00:33:42,830 {\an8}♪♪ 828 00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:44,415 But then, over the course of the day, 829 00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:46,083 more e-mails started coming in. 830 00:33:46,107 --> 00:33:49,795 -Tons of e-mails, and they were just 99% positive, 831 00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,507 like, higher than any other issue that we ever put out. 832 00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:58,971 {\an8}-The first smile or a chuckle I had came from The Onion. 833 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,349 It was the headline, and it said, "Holy... Shit." 834 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:04,310 It's the expression of what everybody was thinking, 835 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:06,020 and somebody finally said it. 836 00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:08,773 -I think everybody had this big thing inside of them 837 00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:10,608 that just needed a pressure release, 838 00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:12,985 and it just came out as laughter. 839 00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:16,030 -Something to kind of shake me out of the darkness a little bit 840 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,907 and go, "Oh... yeah. 841 00:34:17,931 --> 00:34:19,700 Like, you know, yeah." 842 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,577 -The response from everyone has been that you guys 843 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:24,038 have been really funny about it in an appropriate way. 844 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:27,041 -I remember it being brilliant, as it always is, 845 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,459 {\an8}and no other type of comedy, 846 00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:31,337 {\an8}whether it was sketch comedy or stand-ups 847 00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:32,755 or anything that broached the subject, 848 00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:34,799 came close to The Onion ... 849 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:38,302 Just hitting every level, hitting every tone. 850 00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:40,638 {\an8}-And most amazing, readership doubled. 851 00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:42,682 {\an8}So here's a humor magazine, of all things, 852 00:34:42,706 --> 00:34:46,060 {\an8}getting a circulation boost from a mass murder. 853 00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:50,147 {\an8}-Obviously, you don't want to, um, like, 854 00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:52,984 be like, "Yeah, we... We... nailed it! 855 00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:55,861 We... The... 9/11 issue... We nailed it!"... 856 00:34:55,885 --> 00:34:57,822 Like, derive pride from a tragedy, 857 00:34:57,846 --> 00:35:00,533 but it definitely is one of the things 858 00:35:00,557 --> 00:35:03,869 I'm most proud of in my entire comedy writing career. 859 00:35:03,893 --> 00:35:06,580 -You would think that this little independent 860 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:08,791 {\an8}kind of underground humor publication 861 00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:11,252 {\an8}with a bunch of freaks and longhairs working there 862 00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:14,130 would not have been a significant contribution 863 00:35:14,154 --> 00:35:16,007 to those people's lives in that moment, 864 00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:18,342 but, evidently, meant something to people. 865 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:22,495 And that's a very humbling thing to realize. 866 00:35:28,001 --> 00:35:29,645 -It's "Saturday Night Live"! 867 00:35:29,669 --> 00:35:31,355 -May of 2001, 868 00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:34,275 Rob Carlock, who had been producing "Weekend Update," 869 00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:36,360 {\an8}left and moved to L.A. to take a job, 870 00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:38,487 {\an8}and I remember thinking, like, 871 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:41,157 {\an8}"Who are they gonna get to do that job?" 872 00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:42,700 {\an8}And the answer was me. 873 00:35:42,724 --> 00:35:45,244 {\an8}-My first day of work at "Saturday Night Live" 874 00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:48,080 {\an8}was supposed to be on September 11, 2001. 875 00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:51,792 -Suddenly, the news went from being this funny, like, 876 00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:54,837 "What did Newt Gingrich say today that's funny?" 877 00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:58,382 It turned from that to, like, the scariest topic for comedy 878 00:35:58,406 --> 00:36:01,719 that any of us could have ever possibly imagined. [ Chuckles ] 879 00:36:01,743 --> 00:36:04,180 -Letterman came back. All the late-night shows came back. 880 00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:06,724 {\an8}What about this institution? - I mean, that's what 881 00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:08,476 {\an8}"Saturday Night Live" is most famous for, 882 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,895 {\an8}is addressing what's most topical. 883 00:36:10,919 --> 00:36:12,438 How is that gonna be possible? 884 00:36:12,462 --> 00:36:13,755 {\an8}♪♪ 885 00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:20,905 {\an8}-The networks were ready to roll out their new TV shows 886 00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:22,156 {\an8}next week, but now that may change. 887 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,532 {\an8}-I don't think we even knew 888 00:36:23,556 --> 00:36:25,284 {\an8}if we were gonna still do a show that week. 889 00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:27,370 {\an8}-The whole week was very tense. 890 00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:31,207 {\an8}-What are people ready for? Is this okay? Is this too risky? 891 00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:34,293 -It was just a really weird, gut-wrenching feeling 892 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:37,797 of sadness and... And devastation. 893 00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:39,131 We didn't feel funny. 894 00:36:39,155 --> 00:36:41,717 We didn't feel like really laughing. 895 00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:44,095 [ Chuckles ] You know, we weren't joking around 896 00:36:44,119 --> 00:36:46,597 as we usually do or doing bits with each other. 897 00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,140 Every time we would pass by each other, 898 00:36:48,164 --> 00:36:49,767 we kind of gave each other a look like, 899 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,436 "Are we still gonna just keep writing? 900 00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:56,565 Are we still doing... Are we still supposed to be here?" 901 00:36:56,589 --> 00:36:58,901 -The thing that you hold on to in those moments is, like, 902 00:36:58,925 --> 00:37:01,028 "No, it matters... Normalcy, right? 903 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,531 People need to laugh again." 904 00:37:03,555 --> 00:37:05,616 -That week, we did what we always did, 905 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,576 {\an8}and that was create a show and write a show 906 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,328 {\an8}and then perform it. 907 00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:11,914 -We have to go do dumb sketches. We have to put on dumb wigs 908 00:37:11,938 --> 00:37:14,792 because, damn it, that's the point of this show. 909 00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:17,086 That's the point of "SNL." That's the point of New York. 910 00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:18,879 We don't get derailed... Like, they don't... 911 00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:22,007 They don't get to cancel our dumb sketch show. 912 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:24,051 So we're... God damn it, we're gonna do it. 913 00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:25,636 {\an8}♪♪ 914 00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:27,680 -We didn't know what the cold opening 915 00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:29,432 was going to be that week, 916 00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:31,642 how they would address what was obviously in the news, 917 00:37:31,666 --> 00:37:34,562 which was, you know, 9/11 and the Twin Towers, 918 00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,564 and then, all of a sudden, they decided 919 00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:38,607 that it would be the first responders. 920 00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:42,987 -You know, half of them had been down there and survived it. 921 00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:45,990 They all had friends that... That... that... that died, 922 00:37:46,014 --> 00:37:47,867 and they were all standing there. 923 00:37:47,891 --> 00:37:51,745 And the look on their faces told a thousand stories. 924 00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:53,205 -Since September 11th, 925 00:37:53,229 --> 00:37:56,667 many people have called New York a city of heroes. 926 00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:58,377 Well, these are the heroes. 927 00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:02,173 [ Cheers and applause ] 928 00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:03,466 -It was really a beautiful way and moving way 929 00:38:03,490 --> 00:38:04,842 to start the show. 930 00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:06,469 - "Saturday Night Live" 931 00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:08,429 is one of our great New York City institutions, 932 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,307 and that's why it's important for you to do your show tonight. 933 00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:12,808 -Can we be funny? 934 00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:15,561 [ Light laughter ] 935 00:38:15,585 --> 00:38:16,979 -Why start now? 936 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:18,355 [ Laughter ] 937 00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:19,732 [ Cheers and applause ] 938 00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:21,901 ♪♪ 939 00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:25,070 -It was perfectly conceived. It was perfectly executed. 940 00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:28,449 It was so great that the first joke back 941 00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:30,826 was a self-mocking, 942 00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:33,037 self-referential joke about "SNL" 943 00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:35,247 and about the larger question that everyone was asking, 944 00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:37,082 "Can we be funny? Is it okay to laugh?" 945 00:38:37,106 --> 00:38:39,502 {\an8}-Was genius that speeded things up a little bit. 946 00:38:39,526 --> 00:38:41,045 -It gave us permission to laugh again, 947 00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:43,380 not just the audience in the studio, 948 00:38:43,404 --> 00:38:45,466 but America, really. 949 00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:48,636 {\an8}-Reese Witherspoon was the first host for the season premiere. 950 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,971 -We've never done a show under these circumstances, 951 00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:53,057 so we're still finding our way. 952 00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:54,975 But I promise you that we're going to give it 953 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,310 everything we've got. 954 00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,646 -We definitely went with safer, 955 00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:02,066 more fun, whimsical types of sketches. 956 00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:05,528 -With negative $130,000, 957 00:39:05,552 --> 00:39:09,073 Sean Connery is here yet again. 958 00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:12,159 -I wouldn't miss it for the world, Trebek. 959 00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:14,078 I turned down Harry Friggin' Potter 960 00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,789 for this. - [ Laughs ] 961 00:39:16,813 --> 00:39:19,792 -Please, God, take me now. [ Laughter ] 962 00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:22,503 -It was now safe to do Maya doing her Versace sketch. 963 00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:25,089 -She makes me laugh so hard. "Get out." 964 00:39:25,113 --> 00:39:28,467 -Get out! [ Laughter ] 965 00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:30,844 {\an8}-Then, how are you gonna handle "Weekend Update"? 966 00:39:30,868 --> 00:39:34,223 {\an8}The goal of "Weekend Update" is to tell 10 to 15 jokes 967 00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:36,100 about stuff that happened that week. 968 00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:38,352 [ Chuckling ] One thing happened that week. 969 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:42,314 -We're glad to be back, and here are tonight's top stories. 970 00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:45,276 U.S. officials continue the search for Osama bin Laden. 971 00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:47,611 Reports suggest that Bin Laden is most likely hiding out 972 00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:49,113 somewhere remote and barren 973 00:39:49,137 --> 00:39:50,781 where he will not encounter others. 974 00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:52,533 The FBI has begun searching theaters 975 00:39:52,557 --> 00:39:55,244 showing the movie "Glitter." [ Laughter ] 976 00:39:55,268 --> 00:39:59,248 {\an1}-That's not an amazing joke, but... but it's the kind of joke 977 00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:01,959 that we would tell in a less horrifying setup 978 00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:03,627 applied to this horrifying setup. 979 00:40:03,651 --> 00:40:05,129 But that Gambino crime family joke... 980 00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:06,380 That's a good joke. 981 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:08,090 -According to the New York Post, 982 00:40:08,114 --> 00:40:09,675 the Mafia has stolen 983 00:40:09,699 --> 00:40:12,177 more than 250 tons of scrap metal 984 00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:13,637 from lower Manhattan. 985 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:15,973 A spokesman for the Gambino family said, 986 00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:18,017 "Hey, the mayor told us to go back to work." 987 00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:19,768 [ Laughter ] 988 00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:22,521 -That joke is about, like, the city healing itself... 989 00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:24,440 You know, like that's... I think that's probably why 990 00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:27,359 that joke worked at some level is 'cause it's like, 991 00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:29,028 yeah, we're going to get back to normalcy. 992 00:40:29,052 --> 00:40:30,988 Like, we're doing our dumb sketch show. 993 00:40:31,012 --> 00:40:32,656 The mobsters are gonna go strip metal 994 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,991 out of a bunch of buildings. 995 00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:35,743 Like we're going... It's New York. 996 00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:37,369 That's what we always do. 997 00:40:37,393 --> 00:40:40,331 -Our final story tonight... New York City is awesome. 998 00:40:40,355 --> 00:40:42,416 {\an8}[ Cheers and applause ] Thank you. 999 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,418 {\an8}-The show actually felt meaningful. 1000 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:48,172 {\an1}This is our tiny, little part to play in this much larger drama. 1001 00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:50,924 -We wanted to do New York justice, 1002 00:40:50,948 --> 00:40:52,593 and we wanted to make sure we did a good show. 1003 00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:54,219 -♪ Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ♪ 1004 00:40:54,243 --> 00:40:55,929 ♪ Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ♪ 1005 00:40:55,953 --> 00:40:57,973 -We tried hard to just make people kind of laugh 1006 00:40:57,997 --> 00:40:59,433 and forget a little bit. 1007 00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:01,518 -Just sort of as an exhale. Alright. 1008 00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:03,437 - ♪ Ohhhhh ♪ - ♪ Ohhhhh ♪ 1009 00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,439 [ Cheers and applause ] 1010 00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:09,234 -Being able to laugh again, it does help the healing process, 1011 00:41:09,258 --> 00:41:11,236 and it definitely made you feel like 1012 00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,863 we're not gonna lay down. 1013 00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:15,699 -It was a singular moment in all of our lives. 1014 00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:18,160 -You guys made me laugh, so thank you. 1015 00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:20,204 [ Cheers and applause ] 1016 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:28,228 {\an8}♪♪ 1017 00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:32,341 -Comedy Central presents 1018 00:41:32,365 --> 00:41:35,886 "The New York Friars Club Roast of Hugh Hefner." 1019 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,221 -Me and the Friars 1020 00:41:37,245 --> 00:41:38,972 {\an8}and Comedy Central and... And Hef... 1021 00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:42,434 {\an8}we all had to decide what was the right thing to do. 1022 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,103 {\an8}-He told me that their, you know, their people 1023 00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:47,314 {\an8}were a little concerned about it being too soon. 1024 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,732 Am I one of those people? 1025 00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:50,609 I'm like, "Hell no. I am in." 1026 00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:53,070 {\an8}It's cliché now... The terrorists win. 1027 00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:56,323 {\an8}But then, it wasn't a cliché... It was, like, this real thing. 1028 00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,075 Don't be defeated. 1029 00:41:58,099 --> 00:42:00,619 Jimmy Kimmel emceed, and Jimmy broke the ice. 1030 00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:03,747 -Everybody here will agree that right about now 1031 00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:05,582 we could all use a good laugh. 1032 00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:08,252 Unfortunately, though, our first roaster is Rob Schneider. 1033 00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:09,920 [ Laughter ] 1034 00:42:09,944 --> 00:42:11,422 -He set the tone right from the get-go. 1035 00:42:11,446 --> 00:42:13,424 The roastmaster's job is to lay waste 1036 00:42:13,448 --> 00:42:16,176 to everybody in the room in such a manner and style 1037 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,595 that everybody can just backfill and follow suit. 1038 00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:20,889 -Let me just start off by saying Osama bin Laden is a [bleep] 1039 00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:22,891 [ Laughter ] 1040 00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:24,435 I don't mean [bleep] in a bad way, 1041 00:42:24,459 --> 00:42:25,894 'cause I know you have girlfriends in here... 1042 00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:28,605 I'm not trying to... [ Laughter and applause ] 1043 00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:30,733 {\an8}And you're like, "Alright, I just want to be in roast mode." 1044 00:42:30,757 --> 00:42:33,527 My real reason for being here is, uh, you know, 1045 00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:35,404 I just wanted to get invited to the mansion. 1046 00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:37,239 That's the whole thing. I've never been to the mansion. 1047 00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:38,741 That's why I came tonight. 1048 00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:40,284 You know, I'm ready. That's the whole thing. 1049 00:42:40,308 --> 00:42:41,744 You know, we're going to set it off. 1050 00:42:41,768 --> 00:42:43,454 All I'm saying is, you know... 1051 00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:44,747 - Whoo! - Oh. 1052 00:42:44,771 --> 00:42:45,998 - let's do this. 1053 00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,291 [ Laughter ] 1054 00:42:47,315 --> 00:42:49,960 [ Cheers and applause ] 1055 00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:52,629 I think people were being very careful with their material. 1056 00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:54,965 -People were dancing around the 9/11 thing, 1057 00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:58,135 {\an8}but Gilbert is ruthless and tasteless. 1058 00:42:58,159 --> 00:43:00,220 You pretty much got to put him on last. 1059 00:43:00,244 --> 00:43:03,974 -The one and only Gilbert Gottfried. 1060 00:43:03,998 --> 00:43:05,642 -Don't know what he's going to do. 1061 00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:08,479 There's a good chance he's a little inappropriate. 1062 00:43:08,503 --> 00:43:12,357 There's a good chance he's really dirty. 1063 00:43:12,381 --> 00:43:15,402 -Tonight, I'm gonna be using my Muslim name, 1064 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,279 Hasn't bin Laid. 1065 00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:19,823 [ Laughter ] 1066 00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:21,450 {\an8}-And that got a... a laugh. 1067 00:43:21,474 --> 00:43:23,619 And then I wanted to be the first one 1068 00:43:23,643 --> 00:43:25,704 to address the elephant in the room. 1069 00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:27,372 {\an8}-It's a defense mechanism, you know, 1070 00:43:27,396 --> 00:43:28,874 {\an8}to make a joke about something or an... 1071 00:43:28,898 --> 00:43:30,584 {\an8}or a feeling in the room, you know? 1072 00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:32,961 We have to label the elephant in the room, you know? 1073 00:43:32,985 --> 00:43:34,922 Some guys ride the... elephant in. 1074 00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:37,299 {\an8}-There's something in Gilbert, for better or worse, 1075 00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:39,718 that makes him want to do these things. 1076 00:43:39,742 --> 00:43:41,512 He can't help himself. He's compelled. 1077 00:43:41,536 --> 00:43:44,264 -I have to catch a flight to California. 1078 00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:46,058 I can't get a direct flight. 1079 00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:48,977 They said they had to stop at the Empire State Building first. 1080 00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:50,229 [ Laughter ] 1081 00:43:50,253 --> 00:43:52,481 [ Audience groans ] Mnh! 1082 00:43:52,505 --> 00:43:53,982 -God bless him. 1083 00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:55,943 -It was really the first moment in the night 1084 00:43:55,967 --> 00:44:00,364 where everybody's well-founded and well-intentioned fears 1085 00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:03,325 about the night had actually been realized. 1086 00:44:03,349 --> 00:44:06,453 {\an8}-And you thought, "How will he get out of this situation?" 1087 00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:08,580 -I had lost an audience 1088 00:44:08,604 --> 00:44:12,501 as big as anybody could lose an audience. 1089 00:44:12,525 --> 00:44:16,046 And one guy yelled out, "Too soon!" 1090 00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:20,008 which I thought meant I didn't take a long enough pause 1091 00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:22,219 between the setup and the punch line. 1092 00:44:22,243 --> 00:44:27,224 -But that pushed Gilbert to go even further 1093 00:44:27,248 --> 00:44:30,394 and get even dirtier and more inappropriate. 1094 00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:34,982 -I figured, "Let me just go to the bottom level of Hell now." 1095 00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:37,442 -He launched into "The Aristocrats." 1096 00:44:37,466 --> 00:44:41,446 -Okay. A talent agent is sitting in his office... 1097 00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:46,243 Which is a joke that is about incest and bestiality 1098 00:44:46,267 --> 00:44:48,871 and all kinds of sick, perverse things. 1099 00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:51,498 {\an8}-The most, uh, visceral, gross-out joke 1100 00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:53,000 {\an8}you could possibly think of. 1101 00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:55,252 -The father starts... his wife. 1102 00:44:55,276 --> 00:44:57,462 The wife starts jerking off the son. 1103 00:44:57,486 --> 00:44:59,923 The son starts going down on the sister. 1104 00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:03,260 The sister starts fingering the dog's asshole. 1105 00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:07,806 -And it went so far [laughs] and... and it kind of... 1106 00:45:07,830 --> 00:45:10,225 - Yeah. - Brought everyone together 1107 00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:12,477 in a way that, yes, you could laugh. 1108 00:45:12,501 --> 00:45:15,939 -People were howling and pounding the tables, 1109 00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:19,192 and it proved to me... Terrorism... bad taste, 1110 00:45:19,216 --> 00:45:22,112 incest and bestiality... Good taste. 1111 00:45:22,136 --> 00:45:23,947 -Bad taste is not a crime. 1112 00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:27,701 In fact, it can sometimes be therapeutic, cathartic... 1113 00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,286 Healing, even. 1114 00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:32,372 -17 days might have seemed too soon at the time, 1115 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,957 but it was perfect. 1116 00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:35,417 -That's the thing about "too soon." 1117 00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:37,336 It's like... It really begs the question, 1118 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,671 because if somebody doesn't try it, 1119 00:45:39,695 --> 00:45:41,089 then you really don't know. 1120 00:45:41,113 --> 00:45:42,841 -Do you want me to start at the beginning? 1121 00:45:42,865 --> 00:45:44,635 [ Laughter ] 1122 00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:47,679 -The dean of the Friars Club said that they raised 1123 00:45:47,703 --> 00:45:50,349 somewhere between $500,000 and $600,000 1124 00:45:50,373 --> 00:45:51,975 for the Twin Towers Fund. 1125 00:45:51,999 --> 00:45:54,144 I'm glad we did this. [ Cheers and applause ] 1126 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,813 -I truly had a front-row seat 1127 00:45:56,837 --> 00:45:59,316 to one of the greatest nights in the history of comedy. 1128 00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,985 -It was a big swing. He was in the moment, and he did it. 1129 00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:05,197 And it was a great litmus test for where everybody was. 1130 00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,282 {\an8}♪♪ 1131 00:46:07,306 --> 00:46:09,618 {\an8}-It was interesting to watch comedians at that time 1132 00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:12,829 tread lightly around a lot of different subject matters. 1133 00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,915 Having been down there, it's the first time I remember 1134 00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:17,167 really feeling for myself, "Too soon." 1135 00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:20,003 -At Stand Up New York, the owner of the club, Cary Hoffman, 1136 00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:24,132 {\an8}telling Marc Maron, "No jokes about 9/11, nothing here." 1137 00:46:24,156 --> 00:46:26,551 {\an8}And Marc Maron yelling, "I'm an artist! 1138 00:46:26,575 --> 00:46:28,387 {\an8}Don't tell me what to joke about! 1139 00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:29,805 It's my way of coping with it. 1140 00:46:29,829 --> 00:46:31,723 It's the way the audience copes with it." 1141 00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,517 -He's like, "Look, if you do it, 1142 00:46:33,541 --> 00:46:35,102 you'll never work here again." 1143 00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:36,377 {\an8}♪♪ 1144 00:46:41,215 --> 00:46:44,236 -Am I being inappropriate, or am I just doing my job? 1145 00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:46,822 {\an8}Is our job to entertain these people away from this? 1146 00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:49,116 You know, they keep saying, you know, get back to normal. 1147 00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:50,701 I didn't know where that was before this went down. 1148 00:46:50,725 --> 00:46:52,327 You know what I mean? - Right. 1149 00:46:52,351 --> 00:46:54,162 What does that mean? - Well, they want us to get out 1150 00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:55,831 and... and do things. - Right. 1151 00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:57,749 Resume consumption, you know, start eating, 1152 00:46:57,773 --> 00:46:59,668 you know, go out, go to the movies, 1153 00:46:59,692 --> 00:47:01,795 take in a show, you know, put some gas in your car, 1154 00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:03,922 invest, get something between you and your feelings 1155 00:47:03,946 --> 00:47:05,716 before they lead to questions. You know? 1156 00:47:05,740 --> 00:47:07,300 If you think about, 1157 00:47:07,324 --> 00:47:08,927 {\an8}"Ask not what your country can do for you... 1158 00:47:08,951 --> 00:47:10,178 {\an8}ask what you can do for your country. 1159 00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:11,596 {\an8}40 years later, it's like, 1160 00:47:11,620 --> 00:47:12,889 "Hey, you know how you can help America? 1161 00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:14,641 Go to Disneyland." [ Chuckles ] 1162 00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:17,561 {\an8}-You got to go out to eat and get drinks and go to bars. 1163 00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:20,188 {\an8}- Telling people to go shopping. - Right, yeah. 1164 00:47:20,212 --> 00:47:22,190 -That's our latest mindless cliché... 1165 00:47:22,214 --> 00:47:24,026 Go out and buy some jewelry and a new car... 1166 00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,569 Otherwise, the terrorists win. 1167 00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:27,446 [ Laughter and applause ] 1168 00:47:27,470 --> 00:47:30,282 {\an8}-It's never the actual thing you make fun of. 1169 00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:32,451 {\an8}It's how everyone responds to it. 1170 00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:33,910 {\an8}-They raised the color-coding thing 1171 00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:36,455 {\an8}any time Bush's approval rating would dip. 1172 00:47:36,479 --> 00:47:39,875 -Attorney General John Ashcroft issued a terrorism warning 1173 00:47:39,899 --> 00:47:42,836 asking all Americans to be on high alert this week. 1174 00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:45,547 Then on Friday, he announced that the period of high alert 1175 00:47:45,571 --> 00:47:47,632 would be extended indefinitely. 1176 00:47:47,656 --> 00:47:50,218 I think I speak for all Americans when I say, 1177 00:47:50,242 --> 00:47:53,263 bitch, I can't be any more alert 1178 00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:55,307 than I already am. [ Laughter ] 1179 00:47:55,331 --> 00:47:56,975 {\an8}-Eddie Griffin started talking about, 1180 00:47:56,999 --> 00:47:58,810 {\an8}"If I was on the plane, mother..." 1181 00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:01,104 -Shit wouldn't have went down like that. 1182 00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:02,522 You know what I'm saying? 1183 00:48:02,546 --> 00:48:04,691 'Cause them flights were from Boston to L.A. 1184 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,360 You know how long a nigga have to save up 1185 00:48:07,384 --> 00:48:09,196 for a ticket from Boston to L.A.? 1186 00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:10,781 Nigga... A nigga would have been on the plane... 1187 00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:12,532 "We ain't making no mother... U-turn!" 1188 00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:13,867 [ Laughter ] 1189 00:48:13,891 --> 00:48:15,410 "The... you talking about, nigga? 1190 00:48:15,434 --> 00:48:17,621 I saved up for these tickets for two years." 1191 00:48:17,645 --> 00:48:20,791 -And then you realized, "Oh, we could show anger 1192 00:48:20,815 --> 00:48:22,959 towards the terrorists... That would be okay. 1193 00:48:22,983 --> 00:48:24,669 There's nothing offensive about that." 1194 00:48:24,693 --> 00:48:26,463 {\an8}-The first joke that came out of it was, 1195 00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,215 terrorists convince thousands of people to kill themselves 1196 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:29,800 in the name of God. 1197 00:48:29,824 --> 00:48:32,094 -I can't convince two of my friends to help me move. 1198 00:48:32,118 --> 00:48:34,179 [ Laughter ] - Of course, 1199 00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,973 the thing that everyone jumps on is 72 virgins. 1200 00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:39,601 -They believe that, if they kill themselves, 1201 00:48:39,625 --> 00:48:43,563 they will be met in Heaven by 70-some odd virgins. 1202 00:48:43,587 --> 00:48:48,151 Imagine that kind of faith... To think that that would happen, 1203 00:48:48,175 --> 00:48:51,571 when I haven't met one on Earth! [ Laughter ] 1204 00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,532 -I tried to turn it around. 1205 00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:55,158 I'll make a little feminist. 1206 00:48:55,182 --> 00:48:57,285 If you're a woman, you wouldn't want 72 virgins... 1207 00:48:57,309 --> 00:49:00,580 That would be like 72 premature ejaculations. 1208 00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:02,332 You just feel like, "Oh, my God." 1209 00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:03,792 Like, no wonder they wore burkas. 1210 00:49:03,816 --> 00:49:06,086 Maybe they're just protecting their faces. 1211 00:49:06,110 --> 00:49:08,672 {\an8}-I think you saw a lot of comics 1212 00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:10,799 {\an8}really be able to develop their own voices. 1213 00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:13,927 {\an8}-Marc Maron doing some smart jokes about surveillance. 1214 00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:17,430 -It'd be a very disappointing surveillance operation 1215 00:49:17,454 --> 00:49:19,182 if they had me on camera all the time. 1216 00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:21,101 [ Laughter ] You know, they'd be like, 1217 00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:24,396 "Oh, he's throwing up. He's still in bed. 1218 00:49:24,420 --> 00:49:27,065 What? I can't believe he's jerking off again." 1219 00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:28,650 [ Laughter ] 1220 00:49:28,674 --> 00:49:30,735 -Patrice O'Neal had a really funny joke about... 1221 00:49:30,759 --> 00:49:33,655 He's like, "Now, you know, remember, people are, like, 1222 00:49:33,679 --> 00:49:37,284 {\an8}'Oh, what are we gonna do in... In Wisconsin?'" 1223 00:49:37,308 --> 00:49:38,577 -People in Iowa worried about 1224 00:49:38,601 --> 00:49:40,203 all the cereal factories being undertaken. 1225 00:49:40,227 --> 00:49:41,621 Ain't gonna happen. 1226 00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:43,748 "Six tractors were hijacked today 1227 00:49:43,772 --> 00:49:48,170 and driven into a cereal factory in Iowa. 1228 00:49:48,194 --> 00:49:49,880 It's a terrible sight here, Jim. 1229 00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:52,716 We're live at the Raisin Bran factory. 1230 00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:56,303 Raisin... Raisin Silo Number 1 1231 00:49:56,327 --> 00:49:59,014 is completely engulfed in flames." 1232 00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:02,601 [ Laughter and applause ] 1233 00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:04,269 "I think, next year, there's only gonna be 1234 00:50:04,293 --> 00:50:05,812 one scoop of raisins." 1235 00:50:05,836 --> 00:50:07,314 [ Laughter ] 1236 00:50:07,338 --> 00:50:09,399 -Not a joke about the tragedy of 9/11, 1237 00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:11,610 but the joke of moving on from 9/11. 1238 00:50:11,634 --> 00:50:13,278 -After 9/11, we did shows almost right away. 1239 00:50:13,302 --> 00:50:14,529 We started doing shows really quickly 1240 00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,281 in the clubs around the city. 1241 00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:18,074 In some parts of the city, there wasn't even electricity 1242 00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:19,534 in some parts of the city yet, the subway didn't even go there, 1243 00:50:19,558 --> 00:50:20,952 but we started doing shows in these clubs, 1244 00:50:20,976 --> 00:50:22,287 'cause people seemed to want to come out. 1245 00:50:22,311 --> 00:50:23,788 They seemed to want to laugh, and... 1246 00:50:23,812 --> 00:50:25,081 And I couldn't believe it, you know, 1247 00:50:25,105 --> 00:50:26,625 it was... It was right after 9/11, 1248 00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:28,126 and there were already people in the audience 1249 00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:29,961 as bachelorettes... Bachelorette parties. 1250 00:50:29,985 --> 00:50:31,671 And I thought, "Holy shit." 1251 00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:34,966 You know, I-I-I never thought that I would be proud 1252 00:50:34,990 --> 00:50:37,761 to see a pack of drunken Jersey girls 1253 00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:39,387 with condoms on their heads. 1254 00:50:39,411 --> 00:50:41,223 [ Laughter ] I thought, "Shit. 1255 00:50:41,247 --> 00:50:43,266 They are never gonna change the American way of life." 1256 00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:46,102 They... They they just knocked down the World Trade Center, 1257 00:50:46,126 --> 00:50:49,773 but they couldn't stop this gaggle of squawking twats 1258 00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:52,317 from... from, uh... [ Laughter and applause ] 1259 00:50:52,341 --> 00:50:55,403 {\an8}-That is such a brilliant turn of phrase... 1260 00:50:55,427 --> 00:50:57,155 {\an8}a gaggle of squawking twats. 1261 00:50:57,179 --> 00:50:58,907 "Oh, we're going, Gina. It's your day. 1262 00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:02,535 It's your special day. We are going in the city. 1263 00:51:02,559 --> 00:51:04,204 We are going in the... city. 1264 00:51:04,228 --> 00:51:05,872 It's your special day. 1265 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:07,999 I don't care what those... Mexicans did. 1266 00:51:08,023 --> 00:51:09,834 We are going into the city." 1267 00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,836 -And it was on the right side of it, too, which I loved... 1268 00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:14,506 That it was like... There was hope in that joke, 1269 00:51:14,530 --> 00:51:16,841 that it was like, you know, they're never gonna defeat us. 1270 00:51:16,865 --> 00:51:19,344 {\an8}-But if you had, like, something specific about 9/11, 1271 00:51:19,368 --> 00:51:21,388 it had to be super funny. 1272 00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:26,476 It had to be so bad and so funny that people would be like, 1273 00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:28,019 "Alright, I can't not laugh at that. 1274 00:51:28,043 --> 00:51:29,729 That is sick, but I can't not laugh at that." 1275 00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:31,648 -Like, I was thinking the other day that 1276 00:51:31,672 --> 00:51:33,191 you can figure out how bad a person you are 1277 00:51:33,215 --> 00:51:35,568 by how soon after September 11th you masturbated... 1278 00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:36,945 Like, how long you waited. 1279 00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:39,030 [ Laughter ] 1280 00:51:39,054 --> 00:51:42,033 And for me, it was between the two buildings going down, 1281 00:51:42,057 --> 00:51:43,451 so I have a feeling of... [ Laughter ] 1282 00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:46,871 {\an8}-[ Laughs ] 1283 00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:49,124 {\an8}There's too many levels to do this joke. 1284 00:51:49,148 --> 00:51:53,169 {\an8}-You can talk about 9/11 and difficult, painful things 1285 00:51:53,193 --> 00:51:56,089 {\an8}as long as you have a perspective that's interesting. 1286 00:51:56,113 --> 00:51:59,843 {\an8}-It's not about what this... The... this simple joke is. 1287 00:51:59,867 --> 00:52:02,846 {\an8}It's about how it's presented 1288 00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:05,849 and what... you know, what the intent is behind it. 1289 00:52:05,873 --> 00:52:09,519 -Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. 1290 00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:11,813 -Really? When did that start? 1291 00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:14,691 -Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, 1292 00:52:14,715 --> 00:52:16,651 but it certainly didn't help. 1293 00:52:16,675 --> 00:52:19,154 -You saw Paul Mooney perform at the DC Improv, 1294 00:52:19,178 --> 00:52:21,406 talking about his experience 1295 00:52:21,430 --> 00:52:23,575 as a black man, an older black man, 1296 00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:26,870 and who... who's dealt with so much pain 1297 00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:29,164 and was releasing it on the audience. 1298 00:52:29,188 --> 00:52:31,708 -9/11... it's a different world, ain't it? 1299 00:52:31,732 --> 00:52:34,627 - Yes! - And shocked. Just stunned. 1300 00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:36,421 And it took that to make white folks realize 1301 00:52:36,445 --> 00:52:37,672 that we're human beings. - Hello. 1302 00:52:37,696 --> 00:52:40,467 -Yeah, you understand, you know? 1303 00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,385 'Cause they were so worried about us... they... 1304 00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:44,512 America's so worried about black folks. 1305 00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:46,389 They were so worried about the land niggas, 1306 00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:48,099 they forgot about the sand niggas. 1307 00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:50,852 [ Laughter and applause ] - It was really, 1308 00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:52,604 {\an8}in my recollection, the first time 1309 00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:54,606 {\an8}that real political lines were drawn 1310 00:52:54,630 --> 00:52:56,775 {\an8}among us, among comics. 1311 00:52:56,799 --> 00:52:59,277 {\an8}-Comics that were political before 1312 00:52:59,301 --> 00:53:01,988 took it one notch higher. 1313 00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:03,448 -If anybody who ever resembles 1314 00:53:03,472 --> 00:53:05,241 that goofy asshole with the shoe bombs 1315 00:53:05,265 --> 00:53:07,744 ever sits down next to me on a plane, 1316 00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:08,995 I'm going to call the stewardess over 1317 00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:11,039 and say, "Hey, unless this jagoff 1318 00:53:11,063 --> 00:53:13,166 is the harmonica player for The J. Geils Band, 1319 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:15,210 get him off the... flight, okay?" 1320 00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,836 {\an8}-There's two types of patriotism 1321 00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:19,214 {\an8}that's happening in America When disaster strikes. 1322 00:53:19,238 --> 00:53:21,591 The people that are all inclusive about, 1323 00:53:21,615 --> 00:53:23,635 "This is America... Multicolored, 1324 00:53:23,659 --> 00:53:25,637 multifaceted, multicultural." 1325 00:53:25,661 --> 00:53:27,680 But then you've got the other people whose patriotism 1326 00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:29,474 lies in racism. 1327 00:53:29,498 --> 00:53:31,226 -I fell to the left of it. 1328 00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:32,977 I was like, "We need to look at ourselves," 1329 00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:36,606 whereas there was plenty more comedians 1330 00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:40,151 or maybe more people at that time in general who was like, 1331 00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:41,986 "No, there's no reason to look at ourselves. 1332 00:53:42,010 --> 00:53:43,863 You know, these people, you know, killed us." 1333 00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:45,490 -You could argue they're more angry 1334 00:53:45,514 --> 00:53:47,242 at the cultural imperialism than they are at the oil. 1335 00:53:47,266 --> 00:53:49,285 -No, I think they're angry at us killing them. 1336 00:53:49,309 --> 00:53:51,079 I mean, really. 1337 00:53:51,103 --> 00:53:53,540 -You know, okay, 9/11, 1338 00:53:53,564 --> 00:53:55,041 I'm talking about... - Okay, alright. 1339 00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:56,876 We can't pretend that it's all this Iraqi... 1340 00:53:56,900 --> 00:53:58,294 We're not killing them. 1341 00:53:58,318 --> 00:53:59,587 We're killing anybody, that, you know... 1342 00:53:59,611 --> 00:54:01,172 -Moves, exactly. 1343 00:54:01,196 --> 00:54:04,300 -Your skin color all of a sudden becomes threatening. 1344 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:05,718 -Mike DeStefano... 1345 00:54:05,742 --> 00:54:07,220 He you did a joke about, like, "Be more American, 1346 00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:09,389 punch a cab driver in the head," and I'm like, 1347 00:54:09,413 --> 00:54:10,849 "Mike, there are people really getting beaten up right now." 1348 00:54:10,873 --> 00:54:12,642 And a Sikh man was killed. 1349 00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:14,310 He's not Arab, but he looked Arab because he wore a turban. 1350 00:54:14,334 --> 00:54:16,104 And he's like, "It's just a joke. 1351 00:54:16,128 --> 00:54:18,064 I'm like, "Well, you're actually inciting people to violence." 1352 00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:20,442 {\an8}-Innocent people were getting shot just for looking like 1353 00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:22,527 they may be from any of those countries 1354 00:54:22,551 --> 00:54:24,737 that had committed the 9/11 attacks. 1355 00:54:24,761 --> 00:54:27,365 -I almost... an Indian up on the way in here. 1356 00:54:27,389 --> 00:54:28,908 He said "No, no, I Indian, I Indian." 1357 00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:33,037 I said, "Well, pull your turban up, nigga. 1358 00:54:33,061 --> 00:54:36,249 Let me see a dot or something, mother..." 1359 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:37,584 I'll... your ass up. 1360 00:54:37,608 --> 00:54:39,836 Don't start no shit. 1361 00:54:39,860 --> 00:54:42,380 {\an8}-I wasn't prepared to defend Islam 1362 00:54:42,404 --> 00:54:45,467 to a bunch of Americans who are now terrified. 1363 00:54:45,491 --> 00:54:47,051 I'm just as scared as you are. 1364 00:54:47,075 --> 00:54:49,220 I don't... I don't know how to make you feel better. 1365 00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:51,431 You make me feel better. Tell me you won't frickin' 1366 00:54:51,455 --> 00:54:53,683 send your military industrial complex to bomb 1367 00:54:53,707 --> 00:54:55,894 every living brown person in the world. 1368 00:54:55,918 --> 00:54:58,062 Why don't you make me feel better? 1369 00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:00,815 -And I even got a flag and put it on the back of my car. 1370 00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:02,567 The other comedians were making fun of me. 1371 00:55:02,591 --> 00:55:04,903 They're going, "Oh, look Maz is trying not to get beaten up." 1372 00:55:04,927 --> 00:55:08,281 Ah, part of it. - My mom had a flag on her house. 1373 00:55:08,305 --> 00:55:12,869 {\an1}Part of that is because she felt it was the patriotic thing to do 1374 00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:15,914 and this was her adopted country and she supports it, 1375 00:55:15,938 --> 00:55:17,499 and at the same time, she was worried 1376 00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:19,209 somebody would throw a rock through the window. 1377 00:55:19,233 --> 00:55:20,710 -You want to fix the Pledge of Allegiance, 1378 00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:23,046 put a disclaimer at the end. 1379 00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:26,216 "With liberty and justice for all... 1380 00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:28,134 Must be 18, void where prohibited, 1381 00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:31,930 some restrictions may apply, not available in all states." 1382 00:55:31,954 --> 00:55:33,914 [ Cheers and applause ] 1383 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,479 {\an8}♪♪ 1384 00:55:39,503 --> 00:55:43,983 {\an8}-I was a little bit outspoken at that point about 9/11. 1385 00:55:44,007 --> 00:55:49,322 After 9/11, there was just such an amazing glut of hero pussy. 1386 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,115 Cops couldn't walk out of their house. 1387 00:55:51,139 --> 00:55:53,910 You didn't have to be anywhere near New York City. 1388 00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:56,496 Cops all across... Girls just see the uniform, 1389 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:57,747 and they would stop, drop, and suck his dick. 1390 00:55:57,771 --> 00:55:59,207 He's a hero. 1391 00:55:59,231 --> 00:56:02,752 "That a girl! Hero! Get that hero dick good!" 1392 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:06,214 The New York Daily News had an article about 1393 00:56:06,238 --> 00:56:09,050 "some... comic, Doug Stanhope. 1394 00:56:09,074 --> 00:56:14,597 He's making fun of the first responders who died at 9/11." 1395 00:56:14,621 --> 00:56:20,270 I was getting all these death threats and boycott e-mails. 1396 00:56:20,294 --> 00:56:22,605 "He's un-American. 1397 00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:25,358 He's doing this sh..." 1398 00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:27,777 It was... crazy. 1399 00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:29,362 {\an8}♪♪ 1400 00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:32,824 {\an8}-Fairly soon after 9/11, I had a corporate event 1401 00:56:32,848 --> 00:56:35,952 {\an8}in Washington for... For really big money. 1402 00:56:35,976 --> 00:56:39,247 I was to come and make fun of politicians. 1403 00:56:39,271 --> 00:56:42,834 The idea that you were somehow going to make fun 1404 00:56:42,858 --> 00:56:47,255 of George W. Bush on any level, it was just impossible, 1405 00:56:47,279 --> 00:56:49,215 and that event in D.C., 1406 00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:51,968 that afternoon job was a disaster. 1407 00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,803 {\an8}-A reporter said to me, 1408 00:56:53,827 --> 00:56:55,972 {\an8}"So you can never make fun of the president again, I guess," 1409 00:56:55,996 --> 00:56:57,807 {\an8}and I'm like, "What? Never?" 1410 00:56:57,831 --> 00:57:02,770 {\an8}What made it kind of easier to talk about 9/11 1411 00:57:02,794 --> 00:57:05,189 was our botched response to it. 1412 00:57:05,213 --> 00:57:07,609 -Fool me once... 1413 00:57:07,633 --> 00:57:10,403 shame on... 1414 00:57:10,427 --> 00:57:12,238 shame on you. 1415 00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:14,407 {\an8}♪♪ 1416 00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:16,993 If you fool me, we can't get fooled again. 1417 00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:18,578 {\an8}They decided that 9/11 1418 00:57:18,602 --> 00:57:20,830 {\an8}was the big moment they've all been waiting for, 1419 00:57:20,854 --> 00:57:22,290 where they would finally get to execute 1420 00:57:22,314 --> 00:57:24,250 this kind of massive plan that they had put in 1421 00:57:24,274 --> 00:57:26,002 to spread democracy in the Middle East. 1422 00:57:26,026 --> 00:57:28,087 -[ Stammers ] How? 1423 00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:29,631 [ Laughter ] 1424 00:57:29,655 --> 00:57:31,257 What, are you gonna give them all civics books 1425 00:57:31,281 --> 00:57:33,092 and they're gonna have to take a... test? 1426 00:57:33,116 --> 00:57:34,427 [ Laughter ] 1427 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:36,763 -From the very beginning, it was like... 1428 00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:38,890 "The guy who did this isn't there." 1429 00:57:38,914 --> 00:57:40,266 It's like we got punched in the face, 1430 00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:42,226 and now we're turning to this person 1431 00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:43,478 and punching him in the face? 1432 00:57:43,502 --> 00:57:44,937 Why are we doing this? 1433 00:57:44,961 --> 00:57:47,649 Like, so pretty quickly, the sketches, I think, 1434 00:57:47,673 --> 00:57:51,194 {\an8}became more pointed and more anti-authority. 1435 00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:56,032 {\an8}We are engaged in a deadly standoff with an axis of evil. 1436 00:57:56,056 --> 00:57:57,450 You know who I'm talking about... 1437 00:57:57,474 --> 00:58:00,578 Iran, Iraq, and one of the Koreas. 1438 00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:02,705 {\an8}It sounds like he's talking about heavy-metal bands, 1439 00:58:02,729 --> 00:58:04,248 {\an8}"the axis of evil, 1440 00:58:04,272 --> 00:58:06,376 the weapons of mass destruction." 1441 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:07,877 He's like, "You got a problem. 1442 00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:10,338 Bring it on... over there in Iraq, 1443 00:58:10,362 --> 00:58:11,589 where the troops are. 1444 00:58:11,613 --> 00:58:13,299 Bring it on over to that area. 1445 00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,052 Want a piece of me? Want a piece of me? 1446 00:58:16,076 --> 00:58:17,303 You want to start something? 1447 00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:18,930 Get on a plane, go over there, 1448 00:58:18,954 --> 00:58:21,599 where the people doing the actual fighting are." 1449 00:58:21,623 --> 00:58:24,811 -That's when I think comedy sort of blossomed 1450 00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:26,354 because we finally had 1451 00:58:26,378 --> 00:58:29,941 a self-deprecating way of being like, 1452 00:58:29,965 --> 00:58:32,151 "Oh, our country is doing the worst thing right now, 1453 00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:33,945 going into an unwarranted war. 1454 00:58:33,969 --> 00:58:35,738 Here are some jokes about it." 1455 00:58:35,762 --> 00:58:38,074 -I don't think, uh, Osama bin Laden 1456 00:58:38,098 --> 00:58:41,285 sent those planes in, uh, to attack us 1457 00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,496 because he hated our freedom. 1458 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:47,083 I think he did it because of our support for Israel 1459 00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:48,501 and our ties with the Saudi family 1460 00:58:48,525 --> 00:58:51,879 and all our military bases in Saudi Arabia. 1461 00:58:51,903 --> 00:58:53,715 You know why I think that? 1462 00:58:53,739 --> 00:58:55,591 That's what he... said! 1463 00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:57,093 [ Laughter ] 1464 00:58:57,117 --> 00:58:58,386 {\an8}-Some girl was sitting in the front, 1465 00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,221 {\an8}and she claimed to be in the military. 1466 00:59:00,245 --> 00:59:02,724 {\an8}And she said, "You can't make fun of our commander in chief 1467 00:59:02,748 --> 00:59:04,517 during a time of war." 1468 00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:07,395 And I said, "That's the whole point of this country. 1469 00:59:07,419 --> 00:59:10,148 Supposedly, we're going to Iraq to bring them democracy, 1470 00:59:10,172 --> 00:59:13,568 so you're telling me I shouldn't express myself, 1471 00:59:13,592 --> 00:59:16,195 uh, but we're gonna take democracy to them?" 1472 00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:18,823 -♪ America... yeah ♪ 1473 00:59:18,847 --> 00:59:22,034 ♪ Comin' again to save the mother... day, yeah ♪ 1474 00:59:22,058 --> 00:59:25,204 {\an7}- "Team America," just blowing up the Eiffel Tower and everything. 1475 00:59:25,228 --> 00:59:27,457 -The fact that they're really calling it out, 1476 00:59:27,481 --> 00:59:30,001 {\an8}that America wants to be the world police. 1477 00:59:30,025 --> 00:59:32,128 -But that one joke in particular, 1478 00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:33,463 "There'll be 9/11..." 1479 00:59:33,487 --> 00:59:34,714 - times 100. 1480 00:59:34,738 --> 00:59:36,048 Jesus, that's... 1481 00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:38,926 -Yes... 91,100. 1482 00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:40,553 -It's a masterpiece. 1483 00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:42,430 -There was wasn't a lot of room 1484 00:59:42,454 --> 00:59:48,853 {\an8}for going outside of that patriotic nationalistic fervor. 1485 00:59:48,877 --> 00:59:50,396 {\an8}[ Rock music playing ] 1486 00:59:50,420 --> 00:59:53,524 {\an8}-Comedy definitely took a front runner 1487 00:59:53,548 --> 00:59:57,153 {\an8}in making commentary about what was going on. 1488 00:59:57,177 --> 01:00:00,406 -The US of A is the greatest country 1489 01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:02,033 on the face of the Earth, 1490 01:00:02,057 --> 01:00:05,953 and for that, I will make no apologies! 1491 01:00:05,977 --> 01:00:07,622 -Will did this thing 1492 01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:10,333 where people could wear patriotic clothing to work. 1493 01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:12,794 -USA! USA! 1494 01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:14,462 -During the run-up to the Iraq war, 1495 01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:18,299 {\an8}we had a Fox News crawl, and we did get some pushback. 1496 01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:19,801 {\an8}People were going, "Oh, my God, 1497 01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:22,178 {\an8}this was so brave of them to take on Fox News." 1498 01:00:22,202 --> 01:00:23,471 {\an8}Fox News can't be challenged. 1499 01:00:23,495 --> 01:00:25,264 {\an8}George W. Bush can't be challenged. 1500 01:00:25,288 --> 01:00:27,391 {\an8}And there were so many people who were... who were afraid 1501 01:00:27,415 --> 01:00:30,228 {\an8}to be... be critical of the government at all 1502 01:00:30,252 --> 01:00:32,230 because you... you could be called anti-American. 1503 01:00:32,254 --> 01:00:33,940 -It's like a thing that politicians do 1504 01:00:33,964 --> 01:00:36,192 just because they know it's like an applause line. 1505 01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:39,987 {\an8}-Those men are heroes who deserve respect. 9/11. 1506 01:00:40,011 --> 01:00:43,449 {\an8}-Nobody is saying that 9/11 didn't happen. 1507 01:00:43,473 --> 01:00:45,827 {\an8}What they're saying is we're not a fragile country. 1508 01:00:45,851 --> 01:00:48,996 {\an8}Trust us to have this conversation 1509 01:00:49,020 --> 01:00:51,833 so that we can do this in the right way. 1510 01:00:51,857 --> 01:00:54,836 -Another episode, we had a joke saying, "War is never good." 1511 01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:56,212 -War is not the answer. 1512 01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:58,506 -Except to all of America's problems. 1513 01:00:58,530 --> 01:01:00,007 -Amen. 1514 01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:03,052 {\an8}-The childish "support the troops" threat, 1515 01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:06,556 {\an8}like if you don't support invasions... 1516 01:01:06,580 --> 01:01:08,266 {\an8}you don't support the troops. 1517 01:01:08,290 --> 01:01:10,059 {\an8}[ Indistinct shouting ] 1518 01:01:10,083 --> 01:01:13,020 {\an8}This is a war for imperialism 1519 01:01:13,044 --> 01:01:17,024 {\an8}that's gonna have disastrous effects globally. 1520 01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:18,985 {\an8}It's gonna further destabilize the Middle East. 1521 01:01:19,009 --> 01:01:21,237 {\an8}-Saddam Hussein held up the protests last week 1522 01:01:21,261 --> 01:01:22,822 {\an8}and said, "Isn't that great news?" 1523 01:01:22,846 --> 01:01:24,282 {\an8}-No, I don't think he said, "Isn't that great news?" 1524 01:01:24,306 --> 01:01:26,325 {\an8}I think... And I think it is ridiculous 1525 01:01:26,349 --> 01:01:28,661 {\an8}for you to try and manipulate the protestors. 1526 01:01:28,685 --> 01:01:30,663 {\an8}-Manipulate what? All you've done is talk the whole time. 1527 01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:32,081 {\an8}I haven't had a chance to say a word. 1528 01:01:32,105 --> 01:01:34,041 {\an8}-What are you talking... Democracy in action. 1529 01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,668 {\an8}Eight million people on February 15th 1530 01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:37,253 {\an8}who disagree with you. 1531 01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:39,505 {\an8}Just because they disagree with you, it doesn't mean 1532 01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:42,133 {\an8}that Saddam's sitting there going, "This is great." 1533 01:01:42,157 --> 01:01:45,219 {\an8}-Passions were running high in America during that time, 1534 01:01:45,243 --> 01:01:47,305 {\an8}whether you were opposed to the war 1535 01:01:47,329 --> 01:01:49,515 {\an8}or supporting our actions over there. 1536 01:01:49,539 --> 01:01:51,684 {\an8}There were times when people would challenge her. 1537 01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:53,311 {\an8}-Janeane was definitely singled out unfairly. 1538 01:01:53,335 --> 01:01:54,729 {\an8}-When I watch her tirade, 1539 01:01:54,753 --> 01:01:56,480 {\an8}and how can you describe it as anything but? 1540 01:01:56,504 --> 01:01:59,317 {\an8}-No way Janeane Garofalo's gonna get a "patriot" banner, 1541 01:01:59,341 --> 01:02:00,860 {\an8}at least not from us. 1542 01:02:00,884 --> 01:02:02,570 {\an8}Over the weekend, she did a comedy gig in Boston. 1543 01:02:02,594 --> 01:02:04,238 {\an8}-Sean Hannity said, 1544 01:02:04,262 --> 01:02:06,908 "Go to her performance in Boston and make some trouble." 1545 01:02:06,932 --> 01:02:08,576 -A couple of guys coming up and going, 1546 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,912 "Excuse me, Miss Garofalo? Excuse me, Miss Garofalo?" 1547 01:02:10,936 --> 01:02:12,705 You want to explain why you think it's..." 1548 01:02:12,729 --> 01:02:14,332 you know, and that kind of stuff. 1549 01:02:14,356 --> 01:02:17,585 -Ambushed me and edited the tape and showed it on Fox. 1550 01:02:17,609 --> 01:02:20,588 -For Fox News and for those people to crucify her 1551 01:02:20,612 --> 01:02:23,090 was something fundamentally misogynistic. 1552 01:02:23,114 --> 01:02:24,508 -I want to defend her 1553 01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:27,303 and say that she's a skilled method actress. 1554 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:29,013 She's actually preparing for a role 1555 01:02:29,037 --> 01:02:32,308 as that obnoxious, bitter, lonely, narrow-minded idiot. 1556 01:02:32,332 --> 01:02:33,935 - Don't forget paranoid. - Yes. 1557 01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:35,978 -Why should any comic deserve that? 1558 01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:39,523 To go out and talk and make jokes or to make a point, 1559 01:02:39,547 --> 01:02:41,025 you know, it's your right as an American. 1560 01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:42,526 -There was many people who were fine with it, 1561 01:02:42,550 --> 01:02:44,695 and there's some people, "I want my money back," 1562 01:02:44,719 --> 01:02:47,365 or would wait after the show 1563 01:02:47,389 --> 01:02:49,784 because also, uh, people are very brave 1564 01:02:49,808 --> 01:02:52,745 when there's a five-foot-one female on their own. 1565 01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:55,957 And there would be people that would call ahead to hotels 1566 01:02:55,981 --> 01:02:58,584 and cancel my reservation, show up deliberately 1567 01:02:58,608 --> 01:03:01,754 to certain shows I did on the road to "protest" 1568 01:03:01,778 --> 01:03:04,757 because they'd been encouraged to do so by right-wing radio, 1569 01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:06,050 and they would call bomb threats 1570 01:03:06,074 --> 01:03:07,593 in to venues that I was working in. 1571 01:03:07,617 --> 01:03:10,304 I had so many death threats and so many things 1572 01:03:10,328 --> 01:03:12,598 that were sent not just to my apartment, 1573 01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:15,434 but to my manager, agent, my dad's house. 1574 01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:18,604 {\an8}-To be character assassinated and terrorized 1575 01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:22,608 {\an8}by intentional right-wing personalities and propaganda 1576 01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:26,237 to... to create fear and destabilize your life, 1577 01:03:26,261 --> 01:03:27,947 no one deserves that, 1578 01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:31,117 but a lot of it had to do with her being a woman, too. 1579 01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:33,786 {\an8}-The media had played, yet again, 1580 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:36,872 {\an8}such a profound role in having a war happen. 1581 01:03:36,896 --> 01:03:40,209 -We expect every American to support our military, 1582 01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:42,128 and if they can't do that, to shut up. 1583 01:03:42,152 --> 01:03:45,089 -CNN was running a graphic all day long 1584 01:03:45,113 --> 01:03:47,049 that said, "Countdown to the war," 1585 01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:49,093 and the theme song and the graphics and the whooshes. 1586 01:03:49,117 --> 01:03:53,222 -Obviously, parody and satire reigns supreme 1587 01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:55,016 when that happens. 1588 01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:57,893 -From the network that brought you "ER," "Friends," 1589 01:03:57,917 --> 01:04:02,481 and "Good Morning, Miami" comes a landmark television event... 1590 01:04:02,505 --> 01:04:06,360 The war on Iraq, coming to NBC this fall. 1591 01:04:06,384 --> 01:04:07,635 [ Applause ] 1592 01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:13,534 {\an8}-The deadline is now. 1593 01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:17,079 {\an8}-My fellow citizens, American and coalition forces 1594 01:04:17,103 --> 01:04:19,415 {\an8}are in the early stages of military operations 1595 01:04:19,439 --> 01:04:21,083 {\an8}to disarm Iraq. 1596 01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:24,754 {\an8}-Cable news really got toxic in the post-9/11 world. 1597 01:04:24,778 --> 01:04:28,049 {\an8}-What John did, which was ethically the right thing, 1598 01:04:28,073 --> 01:04:30,092 {\an8}but also just for him stylistically with comedy, 1599 01:04:30,116 --> 01:04:32,428 {\an8}was say, like, "Let's make this show 1600 01:04:32,452 --> 01:04:34,388 {\an8}about something more important." 1601 01:04:34,412 --> 01:04:36,223 {\an8}-I think of myself as a comedian 1602 01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:39,060 {\an8}who has the pleasure of writing jokes 1603 01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:41,562 {\an8}about things that I actually care about. 1604 01:04:41,586 --> 01:04:43,439 {\an8}-The show gained a lot of its credibility, 1605 01:04:43,463 --> 01:04:45,232 {\an8}certainly with younger viewers, 1606 01:04:45,256 --> 01:04:49,278 by being really skeptical of the case for the war in Iraq 1607 01:04:49,302 --> 01:04:52,239 and being right in the end. 1608 01:04:52,263 --> 01:04:55,242 -The show became much more politically bent. 1609 01:04:55,266 --> 01:04:56,702 I hate to use the term "watchdog," 1610 01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:58,287 but I always think of it that way of, like, 1611 01:04:58,311 --> 01:05:00,289 we were... we were, like, almost monitoring 1612 01:05:00,313 --> 01:05:02,291 what was happening in the cable-news world. 1613 01:05:02,315 --> 01:05:04,502 -Of course, our show, obviously, is at a disadvantage 1614 01:05:04,526 --> 01:05:05,878 compared to the many other news sources 1615 01:05:05,902 --> 01:05:07,379 that we are competing with. 1616 01:05:07,403 --> 01:05:09,048 Uh, at a disadvantage in several respects... 1617 01:05:09,072 --> 01:05:11,509 For one thing, we, uh, are fake. 1618 01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:15,096 [ Laughter ] 1619 01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:20,101 They are not, so in terms of credibility, uh... 1620 01:05:20,125 --> 01:05:22,728 we are, uh... well, oddly enough, 1621 01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:25,272 actually about even. We're about even. 1622 01:05:25,296 --> 01:05:28,400 {\an8}-He was the first one to tell you, "I am not the news. 1623 01:05:28,424 --> 01:05:29,985 {\an8}I am a comedy show. 1624 01:05:30,009 --> 01:05:33,697 {\an8}I follow sock puppets who do prank phone calls." 1625 01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:35,324 {\an8}If you're getting your news from me, 1626 01:05:35,348 --> 01:05:36,992 {\an8}you're not doing your job as a citizen." 1627 01:05:37,016 --> 01:05:39,495 {\an8}- "The Daily Show" wouldn't have become as powerful 1628 01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:41,622 {\an8}if the media hadn't become so derelict. 1629 01:05:41,646 --> 01:05:44,750 {\an8}-What Jon or the show did well was pointing out the hypocrisy 1630 01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:46,669 {\an8}that was sort of running rampant in the media. 1631 01:05:46,693 --> 01:05:48,546 {\an8}-Any progress in the standoff? 1632 01:05:48,570 --> 01:05:51,757 {\an8}-Chief European Union negotiator Javier Solana 1633 01:05:51,781 --> 01:05:53,926 {\an8}has announced that a resolution should be reached 1634 01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:55,344 {\an8}in the next couple of days. 1635 01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:57,304 {\an8}That's why we're naming Javier Solana 1636 01:05:57,328 --> 01:06:00,349 {\an8}our Vanilla Coke peacemaker of the week. 1637 01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:01,851 {\an8}-The tone and goals in "The Daily Show" 1638 01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:03,978 {\an8}was always to call out the bullshit in the media 1639 01:06:04,002 --> 01:06:05,521 {\an8}and in the government 1640 01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:07,606 {\an8}and, like, sort of be the... the court jester 1641 01:06:07,630 --> 01:06:10,609 {\an8}who was basically going, "The emperor has no clothes." 1642 01:06:10,633 --> 01:06:12,153 {\an8}-John really invented, 1643 01:06:12,177 --> 01:06:14,071 {\an8}and now you see this across all of cable news, 1644 01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:16,907 {\an8}which is this montage of hypocrisy. 1645 01:06:16,931 --> 01:06:20,786 {\an8}-Why is the United States of America using its power 1646 01:06:20,810 --> 01:06:24,540 {\an8}to change governments in foreign countries? 1647 01:06:24,564 --> 01:06:26,959 {\an8}-We must stand up for our security 1648 01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:30,337 {\an8}and for the permanent rights and the hopes of mankind. 1649 01:06:30,361 --> 01:06:34,967 {\an8}The United States of America will make that stand. 1650 01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:37,469 {\an8}-Certainly, that represents a bold new doctrine 1651 01:06:37,493 --> 01:06:39,388 {\an8}in foreign policy, Mr. President. 1652 01:06:39,412 --> 01:06:41,974 {\an8}Governor Bush, do you agree with that? 1653 01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:43,975 {\an8}-Yeah, I'm not so sure the role the United States 1654 01:06:43,999 --> 01:06:45,269 {\an8}is to go around the world, 1655 01:06:45,293 --> 01:06:47,188 {\an8}say, "This is the way it's got to be." 1656 01:06:47,212 --> 01:06:51,192 {\an8}[ Cheers and applause ] 1657 01:06:51,216 --> 01:06:53,402 {\an8}-I was going, "There's an idiot, there's an idiot, 1658 01:06:53,426 --> 01:06:55,070 {\an8}there's an idiot, there's an idiot." 1659 01:06:55,094 --> 01:06:57,656 {\an8}President George W. Bush was an idiot. 1660 01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,992 {\an8}Now President Bush is a leader, 1661 01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:04,205 {\an8}and I'm sure no one is more surprised than him. 1662 01:07:04,229 --> 01:07:06,916 {\an8}-Under the two administrations under Bush, 1663 01:07:06,940 --> 01:07:10,211 comedy ended up becoming more and more vital every year 1664 01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:11,837 and more and more of a part 1665 01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:14,798 of the cultural landscape politically. 1666 01:07:14,822 --> 01:07:16,634 -What about people who say you're only interested 1667 01:07:16,658 --> 01:07:18,219 in the Middle East for oil? 1668 01:07:18,243 --> 01:07:21,013 -What? Huh? Oil? 1669 01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:24,433 You say something about oil, bitch? You cooking? 1670 01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:25,851 Oil? 1671 01:07:25,875 --> 01:07:27,645 [ Laughter ] 1672 01:07:27,669 --> 01:07:31,065 I don't know... Move! We have to get out of here! 1673 01:07:31,089 --> 01:07:32,691 [ Cheers and applause ] 1674 01:07:32,715 --> 01:07:34,902 -Good evening. I'm Stephen Colbert, 1675 01:07:34,926 --> 01:07:37,696 and welcome to the very first "Colbert Report." 1676 01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:40,783 Got a lot to do tonight. A whole big world to fix. 1677 01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:44,662 {\an8}-It was a satire of the type of pundit shows 1678 01:07:44,686 --> 01:07:48,123 delivering news through opinion. 1679 01:07:48,147 --> 01:07:52,211 -I will speak to you in plain, simple English. 1680 01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:56,257 And that brings us to tonight's Word... 1681 01:07:56,281 --> 01:07:58,175 "truthiness." 1682 01:07:58,199 --> 01:08:01,929 -Post-9/11, there was a lot of people not speaking truths 1683 01:08:01,953 --> 01:08:04,640 but speaking like what felt like the truth. 1684 01:08:04,664 --> 01:08:06,725 -If you think about it, 1685 01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:10,271 maybe there are a few missing pieces to the rationale for war. 1686 01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:15,693 But doesn't taking Saddam out feel like the right thing? 1687 01:08:15,717 --> 01:08:18,737 {\an8}-We had come out of the gate with this idea of truthiness, 1688 01:08:18,761 --> 01:08:20,489 which seemed to resonate with people, 1689 01:08:20,513 --> 01:08:24,660 so the show was definitely in the zeitgeist. 1690 01:08:24,684 --> 01:08:26,704 But then it became unclear to me whether 1691 01:08:26,728 --> 01:08:30,165 the Correspondents' Association really knew what we were up to. 1692 01:08:30,189 --> 01:08:31,750 -Let's take everyone 1693 01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:34,086 to the White House Correspondents' Dinner, 2006. 1694 01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:37,089 -It was 2 1/2 years after we had invaded Iraq. 1695 01:08:37,113 --> 01:08:39,717 {\an8}-And there was no criticism. We tried to fix that. 1696 01:08:39,741 --> 01:08:43,137 {\an8}-Our writers and Stephen wrote this piece. 1697 01:08:43,161 --> 01:08:46,307 -We did basically the kind of jokes 1698 01:08:46,331 --> 01:08:49,101 that we would do on our show. 1699 01:08:49,125 --> 01:08:50,561 -The very first joke we wrote for it 1700 01:08:50,585 --> 01:08:54,106 was, um, "People say that this administration 1701 01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:57,484 is... is just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic." 1702 01:08:57,508 --> 01:08:59,528 {\an8}Th-This administration is not sinking. 1703 01:08:59,552 --> 01:09:01,655 {\an8}This administration is soaring. 1704 01:09:01,679 --> 01:09:04,158 {\an8}If anything, they are rearranging 1705 01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:06,702 {\an8}the deck chairs on the Hindenburg. 1706 01:09:06,726 --> 01:09:08,120 {\an8}[ Laughter ] 1707 01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:09,580 {\an8}-Alice and I were sitting at the same table, 1708 01:09:09,604 --> 01:09:11,123 {\an8}and we both looked at each other like, 1709 01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:13,250 "Uh-oh, we are in trouble." 1710 01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,752 -It was very much the sort of stuff 1711 01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:17,379 that we've been saying to our audience, 1712 01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:19,131 to our studio audience, 1713 01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:21,008 and not to the president of the United States. 1714 01:09:21,032 --> 01:09:24,094 {\an8}There lies the difference, it turns out. 1715 01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:27,765 {\an8}-It was the first time that George Bush had to sit 1716 01:09:27,789 --> 01:09:29,808 {\an8}and listen to a litany of his crimes, 1717 01:09:29,832 --> 01:09:32,978 {\an8}and it was the first time that the media had to listen 1718 01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:35,981 {\an8}to the litany of their ineptitudes. 1719 01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:39,568 {\an8}-Over the last five years, you people were so good. 1720 01:09:39,592 --> 01:09:43,989 {\an8}Over, uh... Over... Over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, 1721 01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:45,783 {\an8}the effect of global warming, 1722 01:09:45,807 --> 01:09:47,576 {\an8}we Americans didn't want to know, 1723 01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:50,287 {\an8}and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. 1724 01:09:50,311 --> 01:09:52,164 {\an8}-I don't think the people in the news media 1725 01:09:52,188 --> 01:09:55,292 {\an8}were ready to hear what Stephen had to say. 1726 01:09:55,316 --> 01:09:57,211 -You're telling a whole bunch of people 1727 01:09:57,235 --> 01:09:59,838 that they suck at their jobs when they suck at their jobs. 1728 01:09:59,862 --> 01:10:02,216 They're not gonna laugh, but Stephen stuck with it. 1729 01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:05,219 {\an8}And he was amazingly funny, and he was a truth-teller. 1730 01:10:05,243 --> 01:10:07,471 {\an8}-Over the course of the next few days, 1731 01:10:07,495 --> 01:10:09,014 it was uploaded to YouTube. 1732 01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:13,394 We began to see this groundswell of support for it. 1733 01:10:13,418 --> 01:10:16,563 -Thousands and thousands of people grateful 1734 01:10:16,587 --> 01:10:19,608 for Stephen having spoken, you know, some truth. 1735 01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:21,860 -It was pretty amazing. It felt great. 1736 01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:24,113 -Ended up being an important political speech 1737 01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,825 in American history, made Colbert into a folk hero. 1738 01:10:27,849 --> 01:10:30,619 [ Cheers and applause ] 1739 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:32,413 -We're lucky enough to be joined by an expert 1740 01:10:32,437 --> 01:10:33,664 in Middle Eastern affairs 1741 01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:35,249 who can bring us a unique perspective 1742 01:10:35,273 --> 01:10:37,584 for less than half the price of an American reporter. 1743 01:10:37,608 --> 01:10:40,212 {\an8}He is Aasif Mandvi. 1744 01:10:40,236 --> 01:10:42,881 {\an8}He joins us from Beirut. 1745 01:10:42,905 --> 01:10:45,968 {\an8}-What White people do, you know, around that stuff 1746 01:10:45,992 --> 01:10:49,012 {\an8}is not as interesting as Muslim Americans. 1747 01:10:49,036 --> 01:10:50,431 -I was the first 1748 01:10:50,455 --> 01:10:52,683 brown correspondent on "The Daily Show," 1749 01:10:52,707 --> 01:10:56,645 and I was the first person that was hired to talk about 1750 01:10:56,669 --> 01:10:58,647 what was going on in the Middle East 1751 01:10:58,671 --> 01:11:00,065 and what was going on in Iraq 1752 01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:02,067 and all that stuff from the vantage point 1753 01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:04,862 of a brown person talking about that. 1754 01:11:04,886 --> 01:11:07,656 My very first piece basically highlighted this idea 1755 01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:12,536 that, like, somehow as we bomb their sacred cows, 1756 01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:15,080 as it were, over there, they're just supposed to take it 1757 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:19,084 as, like, part of democracy being spread around the world. 1758 01:11:19,108 --> 01:11:21,253 {\an8}As one gentleman told me while standing in 1759 01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:25,257 {\an8}the smoldering remains of what was once his village, 1760 01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:28,260 {\an8}"You can't get hummus without mashing some chickpeas." 1761 01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,053 {\an8}[ Laughter ] 1762 01:11:30,077 --> 01:11:31,680 {\an8}-That's an incredible way to look at a terrible situation. 1763 01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:33,682 {\an8}-Well, I'm sure it's no different 1764 01:11:33,706 --> 01:11:37,060 {\an8}from the way your nation views the events of September 11th. 1765 01:11:37,084 --> 01:11:39,563 {\an8}Tough day. Great opportunity. 1766 01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:41,231 {\an8}[ Light laughter ] 1767 01:11:41,255 --> 01:11:43,901 {\an8}-I, uh, I don't think we... 1768 01:11:43,925 --> 01:11:46,528 {\an8}I don't think we really look at it like that. 1769 01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:48,113 {\an8}-Oh, well. 1770 01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:50,699 {\an8}I guess not everyone knows how to respond 1771 01:11:50,723 --> 01:11:53,827 {\an8}when opportunity knocks their house down. 1772 01:11:53,851 --> 01:11:56,121 I remember people just being like, "Oh, nobody is... 1773 01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:59,124 There's no... There's nobody speaking about that 1774 01:11:59,148 --> 01:12:02,085 from the vantage point of, like, the other." 1775 01:12:02,109 --> 01:12:04,922 So there was an audience for it. There was a thirst for it. 1776 01:12:04,946 --> 01:12:06,882 There was a hunger for this kind of experience. 1777 01:12:06,906 --> 01:12:09,218 {\an8}-There really wasn't an Arab voice. 1778 01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:12,137 {\an8}There were about five or seven comics. 1779 01:12:12,161 --> 01:12:13,764 That was it. 1780 01:12:13,788 --> 01:12:15,891 -I talked about what it was like growing up in America 1781 01:12:15,915 --> 01:12:17,142 as an Iranian. 1782 01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:19,186 {\an8}I would touch on my ethnicity a lot 1783 01:12:19,210 --> 01:12:20,687 {\an8}before September 11th. 1784 01:12:20,711 --> 01:12:23,774 {\an8}-9/11 crystallized that for a lot of people. 1785 01:12:23,798 --> 01:12:26,360 {\an8}"Oh, you've never been a fan of Iranians. 1786 01:12:26,384 --> 01:12:28,904 {\an8}They've been the devil for a long time, 1787 01:12:28,928 --> 01:12:31,782 {\an8}and now we can just rope in the rest of the Middle East." 1788 01:12:31,806 --> 01:12:34,117 {\an8}-I went to a store and I went to buy something, 1789 01:12:34,141 --> 01:12:35,786 {\an8}and the cashier looked at my credit card, 1790 01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:37,454 says, "What kind of name is... Is this?" 1791 01:12:37,478 --> 01:12:38,872 I'm like, "Well, it's an Arabic name." 1792 01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:41,750 She goes, "What... What does this mean?" 1793 01:12:41,774 --> 01:12:43,752 I'm like, "Well, translated to English, 1794 01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:45,420 it means peaceful, friendly Arab." 1795 01:12:45,444 --> 01:12:47,214 [ Laughter ] 1796 01:12:47,238 --> 01:12:51,301 {\an8}We had a show at the La Jolla Comedy Store, and the club said, 1797 01:12:51,325 --> 01:12:54,555 "Hey, we actually got some calls from people. 1798 01:12:54,579 --> 01:12:56,139 They're really upset that you guys are performing. 1799 01:12:56,163 --> 01:12:57,933 We got a couple death threats." 1800 01:12:57,957 --> 01:12:59,476 So I called up Maz Jobrani. 1801 01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:01,562 I said, "Hey, man, we're getting death threats. 1802 01:13:01,586 --> 01:13:02,854 What do you want to do?" 1803 01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:05,357 And he said, "it, let's do it. 1804 01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:07,651 If we're gonna die, let's go out with a laugh." 1805 01:13:07,675 --> 01:13:08,968 {\an8}♪♪ 1806 01:13:13,055 --> 01:13:14,616 {\an8}-So I called up Maz Jobrani. 1807 01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:15,909 {\an8}I said, "Hey, man, we're getting death threats." 1808 01:13:15,933 --> 01:13:17,494 And he said, "it, let's do it. 1809 01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:18,912 If we're gonna die, let's go out with a laugh." 1810 01:13:18,936 --> 01:13:20,539 I'll meet a white girl. 1811 01:13:20,563 --> 01:13:23,041 She'll be like, "He's tall, he's dark, he's hairy, 1812 01:13:23,065 --> 01:13:26,003 and I think he's a terrorist." 1813 01:13:26,027 --> 01:13:28,213 Sure enough, people came up to us after the show. 1814 01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:29,715 "You guys were hilarious. 1815 01:13:29,739 --> 01:13:31,758 My husband was laughing so hard, he was crying." 1816 01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:33,635 Of course, we're like, "Tell your friends. 1817 01:13:33,659 --> 01:13:34,886 Let them know we're okay." 1818 01:13:34,910 --> 01:13:36,805 {\an8}-There was a lot of airport jokes 1819 01:13:36,829 --> 01:13:39,600 {\an8}in terms of getting racially profiled, 1820 01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,602 {\an8}and at the same time, it was hacky 1821 01:13:41,626 --> 01:13:43,562 {\an8}because it kept happening. 1822 01:13:43,586 --> 01:13:46,565 {\an8}-To this day, I still randomly get selected at the airport, 1823 01:13:46,589 --> 01:13:49,109 {\an8}and I'm like, "Yeah, I'm the guy. Go ahead, search me. 1824 01:13:49,133 --> 01:13:50,777 I'm an atheist, you... idiot." 1825 01:13:50,801 --> 01:13:53,739 I remember was on a flight like two weeks after 9/11. 1826 01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:54,990 I sat down beside this white guy. 1827 01:13:55,014 --> 01:13:57,284 He almost shit his pants. 1828 01:13:57,308 --> 01:14:00,996 I sat down. The guy was like this. 1829 01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:02,831 Any movement, I think he was like... 1830 01:14:02,855 --> 01:14:04,625 I'm like, "Oh, relax, dude." 1831 01:14:04,649 --> 01:14:05,876 That's when I wrote the joke. 1832 01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:09,838 Like, relax, you jackass. 1833 01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:13,050 Just getting my Discman. 1834 01:14:13,074 --> 01:14:15,427 Got to listen to my instructions. 1835 01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:19,222 [ Laughter ] 1836 01:14:19,246 --> 01:14:21,892 -The media started pumping out all of these images 1837 01:14:21,916 --> 01:14:25,020 of just, like, nonstop violent Muslims, 1838 01:14:25,044 --> 01:14:27,397 {\an8}as if to say those are the only kinds of Muslims, 1839 01:14:27,421 --> 01:14:29,274 {\an8}the violent ones. 1840 01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:32,110 {\an8}-Every time they show us on TV, they always show the crazy guy 1841 01:14:32,134 --> 01:14:33,862 burning the flag, going like, "Death to America!" 1842 01:14:33,886 --> 01:14:37,240 Always that guy. 1843 01:14:37,264 --> 01:14:39,076 Just once... Just once, I wish they would show us, 1844 01:14:39,100 --> 01:14:42,162 like, I don't know, like, baking a cookie... just once. 1845 01:14:42,186 --> 01:14:43,664 Because I've been to Iran. We have cookies. 1846 01:14:43,688 --> 01:14:45,666 I swear, just once, I want them to be like, 1847 01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:47,501 "Okay, now we're gonna go to Mohammed in Iran," 1848 01:14:47,525 --> 01:14:51,463 and they show some guy's like, "Hello, I'm Mohammed. 1849 01:14:51,487 --> 01:14:53,674 And I'm just baking a cookie." 1850 01:14:53,698 --> 01:14:55,384 [ Laughter ] 1851 01:14:55,408 --> 01:14:56,885 Even if they ever did that, they would follow that up 1852 01:14:56,909 --> 01:14:58,387 with another news piece, going like, 1853 01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,889 "This just in, a cookie bomb just exploded." 1854 01:15:00,913 --> 01:15:05,477 {\an8}-To be a comic in a time when your race of people 1855 01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,938 {\an8}suddenly become the country's enemy 1856 01:15:07,962 --> 01:15:09,564 and then you don't back down, 1857 01:15:09,588 --> 01:15:12,192 it's like coming out of the Middle Eastern closet. 1858 01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:15,487 -It became more and more important to say, 1859 01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:19,282 "I got to put aside some of my dick and fart jokes 1860 01:15:19,306 --> 01:15:23,787 and start, like, recognizing the need to talk about identity 1861 01:15:23,811 --> 01:15:26,873 as, like, a social-justice act." 1862 01:15:26,897 --> 01:15:31,712 So I asked myself, WWARCOAD... 1863 01:15:31,736 --> 01:15:37,008 What would Arafat and Rabin do circa the 1993 Oslo Accords? 1864 01:15:37,032 --> 01:15:38,343 -It wasn't like the rest of the media 1865 01:15:38,367 --> 01:15:39,761 was gonna give brown people chances 1866 01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:41,388 to share their perspectives. 1867 01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:43,557 {\an8}-Took that term that George Bush had come up with 1868 01:15:43,581 --> 01:15:45,434 {\an8}when he put Iran, Iraq, and North Korea 1869 01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:47,811 {\an8}into this axis of evil, and on the tour, 1870 01:15:47,835 --> 01:15:50,939 {\an8}me, Ahmed Ahmed, who's Egyptian, Aron Kader was Palestinian. 1871 01:15:50,963 --> 01:15:53,150 {\an8}Dean Obeidallah is Palestinian. Four of us. 1872 01:15:53,174 --> 01:15:55,402 {\an8}-We were trying to show America 1873 01:15:55,426 --> 01:15:57,696 {\an8}Middle Eastern people laughing at ourselves. 1874 01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:59,197 {\an8}Nobody had ever seen that before. 1875 01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:00,824 {\an8}It hadn't really been done. 1876 01:16:00,848 --> 01:16:03,326 {\an8}-Doing shows around America, shows in the Middle East. 1877 01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:05,203 There was never standup comedy shows in the Middle East. 1878 01:16:05,227 --> 01:16:08,832 -Sold out 5 countries, 30 shows, 20,000 tickets. 1879 01:16:08,856 --> 01:16:10,917 -And a production company said, "Hey, we're gonna film this," 1880 01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:12,544 and they got Comedy Central to air it. 1881 01:16:12,568 --> 01:16:14,171 {\an8}That was the first time in American history 1882 01:16:14,195 --> 01:16:16,590 that there were Middle Eastern American comedians 1883 01:16:16,614 --> 01:16:18,592 on a major network being funny. 1884 01:16:18,616 --> 01:16:21,553 It's great to see so many Middle Eastern people 1885 01:16:21,577 --> 01:16:26,433 coming together in one place voluntarily. 1886 01:16:26,457 --> 01:16:29,561 -We got a lot of e-mails from people saying 1887 01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:31,772 that it had changed their minds 1888 01:16:31,796 --> 01:16:33,982 about people from that part of the world. 1889 01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:35,901 -We're gonna start an Arab-American comedy festival 1890 01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:38,195 to show our fellow Americans we can be funny. 1891 01:16:38,219 --> 01:16:39,654 Arabs are not just terrorists, 1892 01:16:39,678 --> 01:16:41,990 and to be a platform to encourage other 1893 01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,742 Arab-Americans to get in the arts. 1894 01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,994 {\an8}-There was an audience of brown people out there 1895 01:16:46,018 --> 01:16:47,662 who were kind of like, 1896 01:16:47,686 --> 01:16:50,832 "Why don't we talk about, like, what our experience is?" 1897 01:16:50,856 --> 01:16:56,213 I didn't have a lot of things that my Western friends had, 1898 01:16:56,237 --> 01:17:01,593 you know, like bacon bits and, uh, Santa Claus. 1899 01:17:01,617 --> 01:17:05,764 {\an1}You know, I never got to see my mother's face, things like that. 1900 01:17:05,788 --> 01:17:08,558 -Max Brooks and Dean Obeidallah had hatched up this idea, 1901 01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:10,477 "The Watch List" for Comedy Central, 1902 01:17:10,501 --> 01:17:12,771 which was basically like the Chappelle show 1903 01:17:12,795 --> 01:17:14,189 but for brown people. 1904 01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:16,566 It was, frankly, ahead of its time. 1905 01:17:16,590 --> 01:17:19,986 -Meet Ali Mazyar, a Middle Eastern American actor 1906 01:17:20,010 --> 01:17:23,240 whose fortunes have recently taken a dramatic turn. 1907 01:17:23,264 --> 01:17:25,826 -Indeed, today, there are more parts than ever 1908 01:17:25,850 --> 01:17:27,828 for people of my ilk. 1909 01:17:27,852 --> 01:17:32,040 And so I founded the Ali Mazyar School of Acting 1910 01:17:32,064 --> 01:17:33,792 for Middle Eastern people. 1911 01:17:33,816 --> 01:17:36,253 It's gun up... fist up... 1912 01:17:36,277 --> 01:17:37,838 and yell. 1913 01:17:37,862 --> 01:17:41,049 [ Shouts ] 1914 01:17:41,073 --> 01:17:43,718 I want them to land the part 1915 01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:46,054 because if they don't get the role, 1916 01:17:46,078 --> 01:17:48,014 it will go to a Hispanic. 1917 01:17:48,038 --> 01:17:51,351 -We went through a wave where Arab comedy got really popular. 1918 01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:53,103 -And you start breaking through, and you're like, 1919 01:17:53,127 --> 01:17:54,729 "We're actually having the conversation we need to have," 1920 01:17:54,753 --> 01:17:56,648 because I'm a believer that if 1921 01:17:56,672 --> 01:17:58,900 you don't have the conversation, nothing goes away. 1922 01:17:58,924 --> 01:18:00,777 Racism and bigotry doesn't end through silence. 1923 01:18:00,801 --> 01:18:02,279 It never does. 1924 01:18:02,303 --> 01:18:05,532 The day before President Bush was reelected, 1925 01:18:05,556 --> 01:18:08,285 they arrested, detained, and profiled... 1926 01:18:08,309 --> 01:18:10,287 True story... In the United States 1927 01:18:10,311 --> 01:18:13,498 over 10,000 Middle Eastern people, Arabs, 1928 01:18:13,522 --> 01:18:15,041 and especially Muslims. 1929 01:18:15,065 --> 01:18:17,252 And, um, I was one of them. 1930 01:18:17,276 --> 01:18:18,503 [ Laughter ] 1931 01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:20,505 Two cops, White cop and a Black cop. 1932 01:18:20,529 --> 01:18:24,509 The White cop walked over to me and bumped into me purposely, 1933 01:18:24,533 --> 01:18:26,303 and I said, "Is everything okay, officer?" 1934 01:18:26,327 --> 01:18:28,013 He said, "Turn around." 1935 01:18:28,037 --> 01:18:31,141 Handcuffed me, started walking me through the airport. 1936 01:18:31,165 --> 01:18:33,685 Slowly showcasing me as if to say, 1937 01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:35,395 "Hey, I got one." 1938 01:18:35,419 --> 01:18:40,108 The Black cop leaned into my ear and he whispered verbatim, 1939 01:18:40,132 --> 01:18:44,571 "Now you know what it's like to be a Black man in the '60s." 1940 01:18:44,595 --> 01:18:46,531 -Turning something that horrible, 1941 01:18:46,555 --> 01:18:49,534 that tragic, into something tangible 1942 01:18:49,558 --> 01:18:51,912 that's sort of trying to be a bridge of understanding 1943 01:18:51,936 --> 01:18:53,830 and representing our people in a positive way, 1944 01:18:53,854 --> 01:18:57,334 like, how could I be an Arab-American comedian 1945 01:18:57,358 --> 01:18:58,960 and not engage about that? 1946 01:18:58,984 --> 01:19:01,504 -Here we are coming out talking all this shit 1947 01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:02,756 about being from the Middle East, 1948 01:19:02,780 --> 01:19:04,341 and these young comics are like, 1949 01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:06,092 "Well, if they could do it, then we can do it." 1950 01:19:06,116 --> 01:19:09,304 -I think that's probably why a lot of people gravitated 1951 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:10,972 to stand up after 9/11. 1952 01:19:10,996 --> 01:19:12,724 "Oh, I can say what I want. 1953 01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:16,144 I get to control the story, and you can actually hear me 1954 01:19:16,168 --> 01:19:18,188 and see me and know what I'm thinking." 1955 01:19:18,212 --> 01:19:21,524 -Sikh people get attacked all the time for being Muslim. 1956 01:19:21,548 --> 01:19:24,611 Spoiler alert... they're not, 1957 01:19:24,635 --> 01:19:26,363 but they're brown and they wear turbans, 1958 01:19:26,387 --> 01:19:28,365 so people attack them for being Muslim, 1959 01:19:28,389 --> 01:19:31,201 which must put them in such an awkward position 1960 01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,078 because they're like, "I'm not Muslim, 1961 01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:34,746 not that you should attack Muslims, 1962 01:19:34,770 --> 01:19:36,581 but if you're looking to attack Muslims, 1963 01:19:36,605 --> 01:19:38,375 which you shouldn't, I'm not one. 1964 01:19:38,399 --> 01:19:40,085 There is a Muslim right over there. 1965 01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:41,586 Don't attack him, 1966 01:19:41,610 --> 01:19:43,380 unless somebody is definitely getting attacked, 1967 01:19:43,404 --> 01:19:46,925 in which case, get it right, which is wrong." 1968 01:19:46,949 --> 01:19:50,470 -Comedy plays a role in the spectrum of change. 1969 01:19:50,494 --> 01:19:52,597 You're, like, maybe a swing hater, 1970 01:19:52,621 --> 01:19:55,266 and you, like... you're like, "Oh, huh, that's funny." 1971 01:19:55,290 --> 01:19:57,060 And then you see many, 1972 01:19:57,084 --> 01:19:59,479 many, many, many more things like that. 1973 01:19:59,503 --> 01:20:03,274 And you add up those laughs, those little chuckles, 1974 01:20:03,298 --> 01:20:05,402 hundreds of millions of chuckles. 1975 01:20:05,426 --> 01:20:07,946 That's where you see social change. 1976 01:20:07,970 --> 01:20:11,390 [ Cheers and applause ] 1977 01:20:15,894 --> 01:20:18,415 {\an8}-After 9/11, the nightmares would just be... 1978 01:20:18,439 --> 01:20:20,792 {\an8}♪♪ 1979 01:20:20,816 --> 01:20:22,627 I would relive it every night. 1980 01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:25,422 I had gone through therapy, tried all the drugs. 1981 01:20:25,446 --> 01:20:28,216 Nothing else was working. 1982 01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:31,970 So instead of... 1983 01:20:31,994 --> 01:20:34,264 falling asleep to the sound of myself screaming, 1984 01:20:34,288 --> 01:20:36,391 I found an old Richard Pryor tape, 1985 01:20:36,415 --> 01:20:38,018 and I just started playing it. 1986 01:20:38,042 --> 01:20:40,687 -I go to the therapist, you know, and I go see him 1987 01:20:40,711 --> 01:20:44,649 and I talk to him, you know, "How do you feel?" 1988 01:20:44,673 --> 01:20:48,445 I said, "I feel like breaking your... face." 1989 01:20:48,469 --> 01:20:50,822 [ Laughter ] 1990 01:20:50,846 --> 01:20:53,074 "Like to pull your... guts out 1991 01:20:53,098 --> 01:20:54,617 and stomp on them, okay?" 1992 01:20:54,641 --> 01:20:57,078 "That's fine." 1993 01:20:57,102 --> 01:20:59,039 [ Laughter ] 1994 01:20:59,063 --> 01:21:00,665 -And I started to laugh. 1995 01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:03,251 It was like the first time... 1996 01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:07,464 I could, uh, just be on my own and not... 1997 01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:12,802 feel the fear of what happened to me and what happened to us. 1998 01:21:12,826 --> 01:21:14,179 -Yeah, my dad, if you don't know, 1999 01:21:14,203 --> 01:21:15,680 he was a fireman, and he died on 9/11. 2000 01:21:15,704 --> 01:21:17,724 He was a very good dude, 2001 01:21:17,748 --> 01:21:19,267 and I have a lot of jokes about it. 2002 01:21:19,291 --> 01:21:20,852 And if you don't like the first one, 2003 01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:22,854 you probably won't like the rest. 2004 01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,272 [ Laughter ] 2005 01:21:24,296 --> 01:21:26,483 What's weird is my grandma on my mom's side, 2006 01:21:26,507 --> 01:21:29,235 my mom's mom, she, uh... 2007 01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:33,865 Her birthday's on 9/11, and she never liked my dad. 2008 01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:36,493 [ Laughter ] 2009 01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:39,746 Kind of fishy, isn't it? 2010 01:21:39,770 --> 01:21:42,290 {\an8}I'm not making fun of it to be an asshole. 2011 01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:44,876 {\an8}I'm making fun of it because it's a challenge 2012 01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:46,878 to try and find humor 2013 01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:49,756 in stuff like that, to try and make a joke work. 2014 01:21:49,780 --> 01:21:51,883 {\an8}-I helped prep him for the Bieber roast 2015 01:21:51,907 --> 01:21:54,094 because there was actually talk about it. 2016 01:21:54,118 --> 01:21:56,346 You know, what we do in that situation? 2017 01:21:56,370 --> 01:21:58,765 {\an8}-Pete's wise for his years and said, 2018 01:21:58,789 --> 01:22:00,600 {\an8}"I'm gonna get ahead of it and do one first." 2019 01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:03,311 -I lost my dad on 9/11, and I always regretted 2020 01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:07,732 growing up without a dad... Until I met your dad, Justin. 2021 01:22:07,756 --> 01:22:09,901 Now I'm glad mine's dead. 2022 01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:11,945 [ Laughter ] 2023 01:22:11,969 --> 01:22:14,155 -It's, like, fun to make people laugh at stuff. 2024 01:22:14,179 --> 01:22:15,448 They're like, "Oh..." 2025 01:22:15,472 --> 01:22:17,200 you know, "I shouldn't laugh at that." 2026 01:22:17,224 --> 01:22:19,828 -Your sense of humor is like your taste in food. 2027 01:22:19,852 --> 01:22:22,497 {\an8}How spicy you like it depends on you. 2028 01:22:22,521 --> 01:22:24,124 -Who the... am I to say 2029 01:22:24,148 --> 01:22:26,209 that that's offensive if Pete doesn't think it is? 2030 01:22:26,233 --> 01:22:27,836 -I'm appalled that people would come here 2031 01:22:27,860 --> 01:22:29,921 and make jokes about the sacrifice 2032 01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:32,549 Pete's heroic father made on 9/11. 2033 01:22:32,573 --> 01:22:35,385 This is not the roast of Pete Davidson's father. 2034 01:22:35,409 --> 01:22:37,178 That was in 2001. 2035 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:39,264 [ Audience groans, laughs ] 2036 01:22:39,288 --> 01:22:41,558 Some people are going, "Well, no, I lost a family member. 2037 01:22:41,582 --> 01:22:43,726 That can never be funny," and I always think, 2038 01:22:43,750 --> 01:22:46,563 "Well, but, you know, different people have different tastes." 2039 01:22:46,587 --> 01:22:47,981 I like the stuff immediately. 2040 01:22:48,005 --> 01:22:49,941 I like a warm cadaver to joke about. 2041 01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:51,276 -Which leads us all 2042 01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:54,070 to the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks... 2043 01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:55,697 Kyle. 2044 01:22:55,721 --> 01:22:57,282 {\an8}-If you went through all the episodes of "South Park," 2045 01:22:57,306 --> 01:22:58,533 {\an8}if you went through all the episodes 2046 01:22:58,557 --> 01:23:00,076 {\an8}of all of the comedy, 2047 01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:02,579 I'm sure there would be countless 9/11 jokes. 2048 01:23:02,603 --> 01:23:04,622 I never would have thought that that would happen. 2049 01:23:04,646 --> 01:23:06,374 -I was there in New York for 9/11, 2050 01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:07,792 which is just... 2051 01:23:07,816 --> 01:23:11,045 We had... We had over 2,400 widows. 2052 01:23:11,069 --> 01:23:13,381 2,400 widows, each who finally this year, 2053 01:23:13,405 --> 01:23:18,803 finally ended up with a check for $5 million each. 2054 01:23:18,827 --> 01:23:21,764 And, uh... [ Laughter ] 2055 01:23:21,788 --> 01:23:23,683 At least... There got to be 2056 01:23:23,707 --> 01:23:27,353 three women out there that were going, "Harry's dead, boo-hoo." 2057 01:23:27,377 --> 01:23:30,190 {\an8}-Tragedy plus time equals comedy. 2058 01:23:30,214 --> 01:23:32,525 {\an8}I-I mean, you got to let some time pass. 2059 01:23:32,549 --> 01:23:34,611 {\an8}-Which I get, you know, certainly couldn't make 2060 01:23:34,635 --> 01:23:37,822 {\an8}Holocaust jokes 'til at least '47. 2061 01:23:37,846 --> 01:23:40,658 {\an8}-It's very hard to define what... what's too soon. 2062 01:23:40,682 --> 01:23:42,535 {\an8}You know, it often is, like, very... 2063 01:23:42,559 --> 01:23:45,038 {\an8}-They say you can't make a joke about the Holocaust, 2064 01:23:45,062 --> 01:23:46,915 {\an8}but... - "The Producers"... 2065 01:23:46,939 --> 01:23:49,834 {\an8}-Don't be stupid, be a smartie. Come and join the Nazi party. 2066 01:23:49,858 --> 01:23:53,671 {\an8}-I don't think that it's really anything that's too soon 2067 01:23:53,695 --> 01:23:56,049 if you deliver it correctly. 2068 01:23:56,073 --> 01:23:58,593 -We did it, Brian, we made 9/11 happen! 2069 01:23:58,617 --> 01:24:00,887 High-five! - Alright! High-five! 2070 01:24:00,911 --> 01:24:02,472 -Wow, that... that probably wouldn't look very good 2071 01:24:02,496 --> 01:24:03,806 out of context. 2072 01:24:03,830 --> 01:24:05,475 {\an8}-Too soon is when it gets you fired, 2073 01:24:05,499 --> 01:24:07,393 {\an8}and just in time is when it gets a laugh. 2074 01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:09,479 {\an8}-You didn't think I was so hideous 2075 01:24:09,503 --> 01:24:12,857 {\an8}that night we made out in the back booth at the seafood hut. 2076 01:24:12,881 --> 01:24:14,943 {\an8}-We all did crazy things on 9/11. 2077 01:24:14,967 --> 01:24:18,112 {\an8}-You're really just trying to express a point of view 2078 01:24:18,136 --> 01:24:20,657 that highlights your sense of humor 2079 01:24:20,681 --> 01:24:22,325 and you as an individual. 2080 01:24:22,349 --> 01:24:24,786 Now you trying to find that audience member out there 2081 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:26,162 to share it with. 2082 01:24:26,186 --> 01:24:28,206 -Just so I could go to my senior prom, 2083 01:24:28,230 --> 01:24:31,793 sold my passport on the street for 300 bucks. 2084 01:24:31,817 --> 01:24:37,548 Of course, this was before 9/11, so my bad, everybody. 2085 01:24:37,572 --> 01:24:39,884 {\an8}-Gallows humor or dark comedy 2086 01:24:39,908 --> 01:24:42,637 {\an8}is a way to sort of push back terror. 2087 01:24:42,661 --> 01:24:46,266 {\an8}-When you're in trauma or you're in circular thought 2088 01:24:46,290 --> 01:24:50,478 {\an8}or you're constantly adrenalized and full of anxiety, 2089 01:24:50,502 --> 01:24:52,146 {\an8}escape is hard to come by. 2090 01:24:52,170 --> 01:24:55,108 {\an8}-Part of what comedy does, it snips that connection. 2091 01:24:55,132 --> 01:24:57,151 {\an8}-If someone can actually make you laugh in that moment, 2092 01:24:57,175 --> 01:25:00,238 {\an8}to me, it's the most reassuring thing that can happen. 2093 01:25:00,262 --> 01:25:03,074 {\an8}-To find the humor in a very, very dark moment 2094 01:25:03,098 --> 01:25:04,367 is the beauty of it. 2095 01:25:04,391 --> 01:25:05,910 -Taking something tragic 2096 01:25:05,934 --> 01:25:08,246 and spin it up into something good. 2097 01:25:08,270 --> 01:25:11,499 If American Airlines were smart, their slogan would be, 2098 01:25:11,523 --> 01:25:16,004 "American Airlines... First through the towers." 2099 01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:18,089 {\an8}-You can either cry about it or you can laugh about it, 2100 01:25:18,113 --> 01:25:20,675 {\an8}so let's laugh about it to stop from crying about it. 2101 01:25:20,699 --> 01:25:23,386 {\an8}-Talking about tragedies is a very healthy thing. 2102 01:25:23,410 --> 01:25:26,848 {\an8}-It needs to happen, whether it's satire or parody. 2103 01:25:26,872 --> 01:25:28,516 -Do you know Wanda Pierce? 2104 01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:30,768 She just woke up from a 30-year coma. 2105 01:25:30,792 --> 01:25:34,731 -Okay, what if we got relevant superstar David Copperfield 2106 01:25:34,755 --> 01:25:38,133 to make the World Trade Center disappear? 2107 01:25:38,759 --> 01:25:40,945 -Oh, I hate to be the one to tell you this, 2108 01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:44,532 but David Copperfield really isn't a big draw anymore. 2109 01:25:44,556 --> 01:25:46,826 -Handled the right way, nothing's off-limits. 2110 01:25:46,850 --> 01:25:48,161 -You're like the Twin Towers 2111 01:25:48,185 --> 01:25:50,913 if they burnt and never fell down. 2112 01:25:50,937 --> 01:25:54,125 {\an8}-Laughter is part of any healing process. 2113 01:25:54,149 --> 01:25:56,336 {\an8}-Testament to our own survival. 2114 01:25:56,360 --> 01:25:58,254 We haven't been destroyed by it. 2115 01:25:58,278 --> 01:26:00,548 -I think of September 11th half of the terrorist attack 2116 01:26:00,572 --> 01:26:02,759 and half, and more important to me, 2117 01:26:02,783 --> 01:26:05,803 as the day Jay-Z released "The Blueprint." 2118 01:26:05,827 --> 01:26:07,096 [ Laughter ] 2119 01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:08,806 My father was in New York at the time, 2120 01:26:08,830 --> 01:26:10,975 and I remember he called me. He was like, "Oh, my God. 2121 01:26:10,999 --> 01:26:14,312 Oh, my God, have you heard? Have you heard?" 2122 01:26:14,336 --> 01:26:16,981 And I was like, "Are you talking about track 12? 2123 01:26:17,005 --> 01:26:19,275 Yes, I've heard. 2124 01:26:19,299 --> 01:26:20,777 It's... amazing." 2125 01:26:20,801 --> 01:26:23,571 He was like, "No, son, we're under attack," 2126 01:26:23,595 --> 01:26:26,574 and I was like, "Yeah, by dope beats by Timbaland. 2127 01:26:26,598 --> 01:26:28,993 This album is changing my life." 2128 01:26:29,017 --> 01:26:32,372 {\an8}-Comedy and tragedy are roommates, 2129 01:26:32,396 --> 01:26:34,624 and wherever tragedy is, 2130 01:26:34,648 --> 01:26:37,794 comedy is standing behind its back, 2131 01:26:37,818 --> 01:26:39,170 looking over its shoulder, 2132 01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:41,839 sticking its tongue out and making faces. 2133 01:26:41,863 --> 01:26:43,216 {\an8}-When something tragic happens, 2134 01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:45,968 {\an8}how do we learn from that to move forward 2135 01:26:45,992 --> 01:26:48,346 instead of sitting around and just saying, 2136 01:26:48,370 --> 01:26:49,722 "Woe is me, woe is me"? 2137 01:26:49,746 --> 01:26:51,057 -This is what drove the bill. 2138 01:26:51,081 --> 01:26:52,809 This bill would provide $7 million 2139 01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:55,436 in medical and financial benefits for Ground Zero workers 2140 01:26:55,460 --> 01:26:57,605 who get sick, and they're gonna pay for it 2141 01:26:57,629 --> 01:26:59,148 by closing a corporate-tax loophole. 2142 01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:02,860 It's a win-win-win-win. Just [bleep] do it! 2143 01:27:02,884 --> 01:27:04,654 [ Laughter ] 2144 01:27:04,678 --> 01:27:07,281 {\an8}-Comedy it its highest form is educating and entertaining. 2145 01:27:07,305 --> 01:27:09,409 {\an8}You're laughing at a joke while at the same time, 2146 01:27:09,433 --> 01:27:11,202 you're learning something about an issue. 2147 01:27:11,226 --> 01:27:13,371 -Honestly, Mitch McConnell, you really want to go with the 2148 01:27:13,395 --> 01:27:16,582 "we'll get to it when we get to it" argument 2149 01:27:16,606 --> 01:27:18,418 for the heroes of 9/11? 2150 01:27:18,442 --> 01:27:23,339 {\an8}-It's the comics job to A, service their audience, 2151 01:27:23,363 --> 01:27:24,799 {\an8}but also tell the truth. 2152 01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:26,134 {\an8}-They did their jobs. 2153 01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:29,053 {\an8}18 years later, do yours! 2154 01:27:29,077 --> 01:27:32,390 {\an8}-Social criticism. That's part of what comics do. 2155 01:27:32,414 --> 01:27:34,434 -The 9/11 First Responders bill 2156 01:27:34,458 --> 01:27:37,228 that's been languishing in Congress for years... 2157 01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:39,147 It just passed this afternoon. 2158 01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:40,857 [ Cheers and applause ] 2159 01:27:40,881 --> 01:27:43,234 There's Mitch McConnell right before the vote 2160 01:27:43,258 --> 01:27:46,070 walking in, knowing... Knowing he's gonna vote for it, 2161 01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:48,865 and, uh, here's our friend Jon Stewart. 2162 01:27:48,889 --> 01:27:52,034 [ Laughs ] [ Cheers and applause ] 2163 01:27:52,058 --> 01:27:53,619 -And that's how we saved America. 2164 01:27:53,643 --> 01:27:54,871 -Yeah. Yeah. 2165 01:27:54,895 --> 01:27:57,248 {\an8}-It'd be really interesting 2166 01:27:57,272 --> 01:27:59,459 {\an8}if you found someone from the Taliban, 2167 01:27:59,483 --> 01:28:01,377 {\an8}someone that was willing to go, 2168 01:28:01,401 --> 01:28:03,921 {\an8}"9/11, best day ever, love the jokes." 2169 01:28:03,945 --> 01:28:07,008 {\an8}I did a show for the troops after 9/11, 2170 01:28:07,032 --> 01:28:08,676 {\an8}and it went horribly. 2171 01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:11,095 {\an8}I mean, it really... terrible. 2172 01:28:11,119 --> 01:28:14,390 {\an8}Um, it's very difficult to get those Taliban guys to laugh. 2173 01:28:14,414 --> 01:28:15,892 {\an8}-I'm glad comedy survived. 2174 01:28:15,916 --> 01:28:18,627 {\an8}It was touch-and-go there for a little while. 167598

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