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1
00:00:04,109 --> 00:00:05,212
Okay. Make a wish.
2
00:00:05,351 --> 00:00:06,351
Okay.
3
00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:08,660
What did you wish for?
4
00:00:08,729 --> 00:00:09,729
Ah, it doesn't matter.
5
00:00:09,798 --> 00:00:10,798
What did you wish for?
6
00:00:10,867 --> 00:00:12,280
Ah, I wished we
had more chicken.
7
00:00:26,039 --> 00:00:30,176
♪ Tell me why I
love you like I do
8
00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:33,279
♪ Tell me who can stop my heart
9
00:00:33,418 --> 00:00:34,796
♪ As much as you
10
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:37,072
♪ Let's take each other's hand
11
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:40,278
♪ As we jump
into the final frontier
12
00:00:42,244 --> 00:00:44,313
♪ The final frontier ♪
13
00:00:49,209 --> 00:00:50,623
I'm just saying, if it were me,
14
00:00:50,761 --> 00:00:52,106
I'd be offended.
15
00:00:52,244 --> 00:00:55,037
And I don't see what there
is to be offended about here.
16
00:00:55,174 --> 00:00:56,899
I mean, it's Debbie and Joan.
17
00:00:57,036 --> 00:00:58,076
You invite them to dinner,
18
00:00:58,208 --> 00:00:59,932
and then you ask
them to bring dinner?
19
00:01:01,932 --> 00:01:03,967
Yeah, okay, but not a
bad deal for you and me.
20
00:01:05,277 --> 00:01:06,898
Oh, I almost forgot.
21
00:01:07,036 --> 00:01:08,311
Uh, if you two don't mind,
22
00:01:08,449 --> 00:01:10,553
I'd like to start
taping our sessions.
23
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:11,691
Fine. Oh.
24
00:01:11,794 --> 00:01:13,484
Why?
25
00:01:13,622 --> 00:01:15,182
Oh, there's nothing
to be alarmed about.
26
00:01:15,311 --> 00:01:17,529
The tapes will complement my
notes and really help our work.
27
00:01:17,553 --> 00:01:18,553
I know, but, eh...
28
00:01:19,483 --> 00:01:20,621
Okay.
29
00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:24,104
Okay. Now where were we?
30
00:01:24,241 --> 00:01:25,966
Paul was taking
advantage of his sister.
31
00:01:30,621 --> 00:01:32,541
That's the first thing you
wanna say on the tape?
32
00:01:34,034 --> 00:01:35,654
Paul, just pretend
the tape isn't here.
33
00:01:36,068 --> 00:01:37,068
I, uh...
34
00:01:40,171 --> 00:01:42,964
Okay, um... My sister...
35
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,309
No, uh, yeah, I was j...
36
00:01:44,447 --> 00:01:47,309
I was trying to simply
make life a little easier
37
00:01:47,447 --> 00:01:48,584
for the new parents.
38
00:01:48,722 --> 00:01:50,102
Honey, we're hardly new parents.
39
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,274
Ah, we're new.
40
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,343
We're not new. We've
been parents for months.
41
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,826
Yeah, but... we're
new, you and me.
42
00:01:55,964 --> 00:01:57,042
What are you talking about?
43
00:01:57,066 --> 00:01:58,928
We just... We haven't,
44
00:01:59,066 --> 00:02:00,626
You know, we haven't
seen a movie since,
45
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:01,756
like, Ben-Hur.
46
00:02:03,066 --> 00:02:04,480
We've seen Fran and Mark once,
47
00:02:04,618 --> 00:02:05,939
and that was to get
their car washed.
48
00:02:05,963 --> 00:02:07,411
And... sex.
49
00:02:08,272 --> 00:02:10,238
You know, sex is like Canada.
50
00:02:10,376 --> 00:02:11,696
It's right there,
but we never go.
51
00:02:13,687 --> 00:02:15,169
Paul, these things take time.
52
00:02:16,307 --> 00:02:18,134
And I'm happy to take the time.
53
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,341
I got nothin' but time.
54
00:02:20,479 --> 00:02:22,169
Time is on my side.
55
00:02:22,858 --> 00:02:24,168
Okay.
56
00:02:24,306 --> 00:02:26,064
Paul Buchman:
healthiest man alive.
57
00:02:28,926 --> 00:02:30,926
What if I said I
thought I was ready?
58
00:02:31,064 --> 00:02:32,064
Ready for what, baby?
59
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:33,133
Ready for sex.
60
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:36,788
Can you play that back?
61
00:02:38,995 --> 00:02:39,995
Because I think I am.
62
00:02:41,581 --> 00:02:42,581
Ready for sex?
63
00:02:42,891 --> 00:02:43,891
Yes.
64
00:02:46,684 --> 00:02:48,822
Well, I'd say,
65
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,166
Much more fun than getting
Fran and Mark's car washed,
66
00:02:52,304 --> 00:02:54,580
But B: I thought you said
we have to wait 6 months.
67
00:02:56,546 --> 00:02:57,546
Um...
68
00:02:57,649 --> 00:02:58,809
What was that? What was that?
69
00:02:58,890 --> 00:02:59,890
What was that?
70
00:02:59,924 --> 00:03:00,993
What was what?
71
00:03:01,131 --> 00:03:02,931
That little look. You
guys just shared a look.
72
00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:04,900
Right there! You
just did it again!
73
00:03:04,924 --> 00:03:05,924
What was that?
74
00:03:06,028 --> 00:03:07,468
Okay. Sheila and
Jamie shared a look.
75
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:13,234
I did say that we have
to wait six months.
76
00:03:13,372 --> 00:03:14,820
I remember.
77
00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:16,718
So that was a little bit
of an overstatement.
78
00:03:18,268 --> 00:03:19,268
Like a lie?
79
00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:20,406
No. No, no, no.
80
00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:21,992
Uh... uh, actually, yes.
81
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,716
Really? And you were in on this?
82
00:03:25,853 --> 00:03:28,140
Paul, it's important that Jamie
not feel any pressure from you.
83
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,198
This is a big step.
84
00:03:29,337 --> 00:03:32,164
So when could sex
have begun, began?
85
00:03:32,681 --> 00:03:33,784
Begun? Commenced?
86
00:03:35,922 --> 00:03:39,336
Uh... six weeks
after Mabel was born.
87
00:03:41,818 --> 00:03:42,818
Six weeks?
88
00:03:42,887 --> 00:03:43,921
I'm so sorry.
89
00:03:44,059 --> 00:03:45,499
Not six months, but
rather six weeks?
90
00:03:45,576 --> 00:03:46,921
I couldn't be more sorry.
91
00:03:47,059 --> 00:03:49,507
Week 7... Week 8...
92
00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:52,576
Weeks 9 through 120,000...
93
00:03:53,611 --> 00:03:54,794
We could have been having sex?
94
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,196
I wasn't ready.
95
00:03:56,335 --> 00:03:58,300
I... you know, I understand.
96
00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,724
It's just that the
thought of it was so
97
00:03:59,748 --> 00:04:00,748
Enough said. Repulsive.
98
00:04:00,817 --> 00:04:02,127
Recorder's on.
99
00:04:02,265 --> 00:04:04,748
The important thing
is, I'm ready now.
100
00:04:04,886 --> 00:04:08,368
You're ready. Yeah,
but ready like what?
101
00:04:08,506 --> 00:04:10,620
Ready, like, "All right, maybe
I'll look at a dessert menu"?
102
00:04:10,644 --> 00:04:13,264
Or ready, like...
"Oh, boy, cake!"
103
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,678
I would... Like some cake.
104
00:04:19,298 --> 00:04:20,298
Really?
105
00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:22,781
I want cake.
106
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,091
Okay, 'cause I got cake.
107
00:04:29,194 --> 00:04:30,711
I got nothin' but cake.
108
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,539
I'm... I'm a big baker.
109
00:04:37,228 --> 00:04:38,711
Paul, let's not start thinking
110
00:04:38,849 --> 00:04:40,814
this is gonna be some
kind of big free-for-all.
111
00:04:42,055 --> 00:04:43,710
I beg your pardon?
112
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:47,193
Well, Jamie's still liable to have
some anxiety, so take it easy.
113
00:04:47,331 --> 00:04:49,296
Show some
restraint. Reign it in.
114
00:04:50,503 --> 00:04:51,503
Excuse me.
115
00:04:52,296 --> 00:04:54,641
I have all kinds of restraint.
116
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:58,089
I mean, have I said
anything to you about this?
117
00:04:58,227 --> 00:04:59,537
Have I just...
no, truly, have I?
118
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:00,955
Have I said one
thing? One thing?
119
00:05:01,089 --> 00:05:02,089
Paul? What?
120
00:05:02,192 --> 00:05:03,236
This is a form of pressure.
121
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:04,420
No. But just, you back me up.
122
00:05:04,468 --> 00:05:06,984
Have I said or done
anything to pressure you?
123
00:05:07,122 --> 00:05:08,122
No.
124
00:05:08,191 --> 00:05:09,950
No. A request? A suggestion?
125
00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:11,502
No. Have I hugged you funny?
126
00:05:12,088 --> 00:05:13,226
He's done nothing.
127
00:05:13,364 --> 00:05:14,364
Thank you.
128
00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:15,433
And I mean nothing.
129
00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:17,984
What's that?
130
00:05:18,122 --> 00:05:19,642
Well, you could
show a little interest.
131
00:05:22,294 --> 00:05:23,294
What?
132
00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,432
How do you think it
makes a person feel?
133
00:05:32,535 --> 00:05:34,052
I have so much to absorb.
134
00:05:35,776 --> 00:05:38,189
It's just with the
pregnancy and the birth,
135
00:05:38,328 --> 00:05:40,913
all the changes in my
body, everything you've seen.
136
00:05:41,051 --> 00:05:43,165
How do I know if you're
still... Oh, sweetie, sweetie,
137
00:05:43,189 --> 00:05:44,258
Please. Trust me.
138
00:05:44,397 --> 00:05:47,292
I find you every bit as
sexy and as attractive
139
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,292
and as desirable
as the day I met you.
140
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:51,430
Really?
141
00:05:51,499 --> 00:05:52,947
Yeah. More. More so.
142
00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:54,809
I mean, it's not
just wanting you.
143
00:05:55,809 --> 00:05:56,809
Here's want...
144
00:05:57,465 --> 00:05:58,465
Here's me.
145
00:05:59,429 --> 00:06:00,809
So it's like want,
146
00:06:00,947 --> 00:06:01,981
need,
147
00:06:02,119 --> 00:06:03,360
urgency, and
148
00:06:03,602 --> 00:06:04,671
covet.
149
00:06:04,809 --> 00:06:06,671
That's where I'm
at now. I covet you.
150
00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:08,153
Do you understand? I covet you.
151
00:06:08,291 --> 00:06:09,980
You're my wife, yet I covet you.
152
00:06:10,118 --> 00:06:11,635
Not my neighbor's wife. You.
153
00:06:11,773 --> 00:06:14,394
In my head, six commandments
I'm breakin' right now, just
154
00:06:15,325 --> 00:06:16,463
Uh, Paul?
155
00:06:16,601 --> 00:06:18,049
And yet at your pace.
156
00:06:22,635 --> 00:06:23,807
You're gonna love this place,
157
00:06:23,945 --> 00:06:25,497
Best pizza in the city.
158
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,852
Who invites you to dinner and
then asks you to bring dinner?
159
00:06:27,876 --> 00:06:29,979
They're new parents.
Let it go. Not that new.
160
00:06:30,117 --> 00:06:31,117
Care for a flyer?
161
00:06:31,186 --> 00:06:32,807
No. Thank you. Take a flyer.
162
00:06:32,945 --> 00:06:34,634
I don't need a flyer.
I'm already here.
163
00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:36,920
Well, they won't let me leave
until all these flyers are gone.
164
00:06:36,944 --> 00:06:37,944
Take the flyer.
165
00:06:38,047 --> 00:06:39,167
I'm sorry. I don't want one.
166
00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:40,782
They're watching me,
lady. I can feel them.
167
00:06:40,806 --> 00:06:41,840
Take a flyer.
168
00:06:41,978 --> 00:06:43,668
I said, no, thank
you. Here you go.
169
00:06:43,806 --> 00:06:45,013
This is the pizza you love?
170
00:06:45,151 --> 00:06:46,506
Debbie, just take a
flyer. I don't want a flyer.
171
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:47,530
It's really good pizza.
172
00:06:47,599 --> 00:06:49,323
What? Are you
too good for a flyer?
173
00:06:49,461 --> 00:06:50,609
Just take a flyer
so we can go in.
174
00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:51,908
Oh, now you're on his side.
175
00:06:52,046 --> 00:06:53,805
Why don't you just
make it easy on everyone
176
00:06:53,943 --> 00:06:54,943
and take a flyer?
177
00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:56,461
I said I don't want it!
178
00:06:56,598 --> 00:06:57,598
Oh, you want it.
179
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,770
Excuse me?
180
00:06:58,908 --> 00:07:00,770
Take a flyer. You
have a real problem.
181
00:07:00,908 --> 00:07:02,356
Take two! Tell a friend!
182
00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:03,494
I don't want a flyer!
183
00:07:03,563 --> 00:07:04,923
And if you don't
get out of my way,
184
00:07:04,976 --> 00:07:06,643
I'm gonna march right in
there and talk to your manager,
185
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:07,667
Do you understand me?
186
00:07:08,425 --> 00:07:09,425
Gimme a kiss.
187
00:07:09,769 --> 00:07:10,769
Ew!
188
00:07:11,425 --> 00:07:13,322
Ew!
189
00:07:13,459 --> 00:07:16,528
Oh, come on, lady.
Just take a flyer.
190
00:07:35,768 --> 00:07:37,871
I just... I can't
thank you enough
191
00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:39,369
for saying you'll
have sex with me.
192
00:07:41,423 --> 00:07:42,703
Paul, remember we talked earlier
193
00:07:42,836 --> 00:07:44,502
about you not putting
a lot of pressure on me?
194
00:07:44,526 --> 00:07:46,526
Yes. Right. Yes. No
pressure. There is no pressure.
195
00:07:46,629 --> 00:07:48,029
I'm pressure-less
and pressure-free.
196
00:07:48,526 --> 00:07:49,629
Just nice and easy.
197
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:50,767
Thank you.
198
00:07:50,802 --> 00:07:51,802
Mm-hmm.
199
00:07:53,008 --> 00:07:54,008
Paul?
200
00:07:56,077 --> 00:07:57,146
You know what?
201
00:07:57,284 --> 00:07:59,559
How about you go get a
salad bowl down for me?
202
00:07:59,697 --> 00:08:01,352
Okay, okay. That's good.
203
00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:03,421
See? Now I have a task.
204
00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:06,352
I've got a task. I have
something to focus on.
205
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:08,800
So now my energy
and focus is all here.
206
00:08:10,662 --> 00:08:11,662
Nobody's pressuring you.
207
00:08:12,318 --> 00:08:13,938
Nobody's gonna get hurt.
208
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,800
And you get a nice
salad bowl. Here you go.
209
00:08:16,938 --> 00:08:17,938
Salad bowl.
210
00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:24,489
I want cake.
211
00:08:26,695 --> 00:08:28,109
Cake is good.
212
00:08:31,937 --> 00:08:33,385
Oh... It's Debbie and Joan.
213
00:08:33,523 --> 00:08:35,350
Get rid of them. How?
214
00:08:35,488 --> 00:08:36,557
I don't know. Kill them?
215
00:08:36,694 --> 00:08:37,694
Sweetie?
216
00:08:37,763 --> 00:08:38,763
Sorry.
217
00:08:39,694 --> 00:08:40,694
I'll be quick.
218
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:42,729
We held out this long.
219
00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:44,015
I think I can make it
another 30 minutes.
220
00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:45,039
Try to make it ten.
221
00:08:46,211 --> 00:08:47,591
I'll see what I can do.
222
00:08:47,729 --> 00:08:49,532
No piece of pizza is
worth what I went through.
223
00:08:49,556 --> 00:08:51,245
It's the best pizza in the city.
224
00:08:51,384 --> 00:08:52,384
Come on in. Hello.
225
00:08:52,522 --> 00:08:53,969
You could have
just taken the flyer.
226
00:08:54,107 --> 00:08:56,747
I don't have to take a flyer from
every piece of pizza in the city.
227
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:57,831
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
228
00:08:57,969 --> 00:08:58,969
Where is the pizza?
229
00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:00,590
She hit him. Can
you believe that?
230
00:09:00,728 --> 00:09:04,210
Well, he flicked me
with the end of himself.
231
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,692
So there isn't any pizza?
232
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,141
We don't have the pizza.
233
00:09:10,279 --> 00:09:11,416
You have no food at all?
234
00:09:11,554 --> 00:09:12,554
Is this a problem?
235
00:09:13,968 --> 00:09:14,968
Thanks for coming.
236
00:09:18,036 --> 00:09:19,276
We'll call you, or you call us.
237
00:09:19,382 --> 00:09:21,174
We'll call you. We'll call you.
238
00:09:21,313 --> 00:09:23,691
Who invites you to dinner and
then asks you to bring dinner
239
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:25,229
and then when you
don't have dinner,
240
00:09:25,278 --> 00:09:26,519
throws you out of their house?
241
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,277
We'll explain tomorrow.
242
00:09:30,346 --> 00:09:31,346
They'll understand.
243
00:09:33,035 --> 00:09:34,735
You remember that subway
token I gave you this morning?
244
00:09:34,759 --> 00:09:35,770
Let's call that foreplay. Yes.
245
00:09:35,794 --> 00:09:36,794
Good.
246
00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:42,908
She's too young
to be around this.
247
00:09:42,932 --> 00:09:43,932
Oh, yeah.
248
00:09:45,828 --> 00:09:46,828
Ladies first.
249
00:09:46,863 --> 00:09:47,863
Just go.
250
00:09:52,724 --> 00:09:54,527
I don't know how I went
this long without cake.
251
00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:55,551
Oh!
252
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:56,620
I love cake.
253
00:09:56,758 --> 00:09:57,872
Me, too.
254
00:09:57,896 --> 00:09:59,344
I love cake.
255
00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:01,137
Me... too.
256
00:10:01,275 --> 00:10:03,137
Ooh! PAUL: Cake! Cake!
257
00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:06,068
Me, too! PAUL: Ahh!
258
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,723
Ahh! PAUL: Oh!
259
00:10:07,861 --> 00:10:08,861
Ahh!
260
00:10:08,964 --> 00:10:09,964
Paul: Wow!
261
00:10:10,102 --> 00:10:11,660
Did you switch the baby monitor?
262
00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:13,705
No. I thought you did.
263
00:10:14,516 --> 00:10:15,516
Oh, my god.
264
00:10:17,170 --> 00:10:18,489
She just heard everything.
265
00:10:19,032 --> 00:10:20,170
Mabel heard everything.
266
00:10:20,309 --> 00:10:21,653
Oh, that can't be good.
267
00:10:22,894 --> 00:10:25,411
We're bad, bad parents.
268
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,238
How soon can she start therapy?
269
00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:32,100
She's fine.
270
00:10:32,238 --> 00:10:34,038
Oh, my god. All the
breathing and the panting.
271
00:10:35,169 --> 00:10:38,548
Not to mention a rather
vulgar discussion about...
272
00:10:39,066 --> 00:10:40,066
Cake.
273
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,100
Ugh!
274
00:10:43,203 --> 00:10:44,445
She heard everything.
275
00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:46,514
Whatever she heard, she
didn't know what it was.
276
00:10:46,652 --> 00:10:49,479
Nah, but you didn't
see the look in her eyes
277
00:10:50,445 --> 00:10:52,547
when we came out
of the bedroom. Oh!
278
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:55,203
The child's first words are
gonna be, "who's your big daddy?"
279
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,891
So what? So that's
what? My fault?
280
00:11:01,029 --> 00:11:02,029
Well, I didn't say it.
281
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,660
Yeah, but you were
pretty worked up, too.
282
00:11:03,684 --> 00:11:05,306
Paul, Paul. Jamie...
283
00:11:05,444 --> 00:11:06,444
It's okay.
284
00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:07,546
Okay, now, just relax.
285
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,201
Now, tell me. Did you have
sex while you were pregnant?
286
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,063
Yes. Oh, my god, why?
Was that wrong, too?
287
00:11:15,581 --> 00:11:17,959
That is perfectly healthy,
and Mabel heard that.
288
00:11:18,097 --> 00:11:19,512
Yeah, but muffled.
289
00:11:22,028 --> 00:11:24,201
We've scarred
our child, our baby,
290
00:11:24,338 --> 00:11:27,304
and for what? 20
minutes of ho-hum sex.
291
00:11:32,027 --> 00:11:34,579
Jamie, you and Paul
are gonna get past this.
292
00:11:35,476 --> 00:11:36,596
Could we go back one second?
293
00:11:38,062 --> 00:11:39,062
"Ho-hum sex?"
294
00:11:40,303 --> 00:11:41,924
No, no, no. I say "ho-hum."
295
00:11:42,061 --> 00:11:43,372
I didn't mean "ho-hum."
296
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:46,130
I meant "ho-hum," like,
you know, "ho-hum!"
297
00:11:50,578 --> 00:11:54,578
Well, you were making a
lot of noise for just "ho-hum."
298
00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:56,450
Well, yeah. Of course,
I was trying to let you...
299
00:11:56,474 --> 00:11:57,509
Unless... unless... Wait.
300
00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,991
Did you... did you fake it?
301
00:12:04,094 --> 00:12:05,371
You know, just a...
302
00:12:05,508 --> 00:12:06,508
Little bit.
303
00:12:07,163 --> 00:12:08,232
Okay, you know...
304
00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:09,887
Only till the very end.
305
00:12:10,025 --> 00:12:12,818
What about all the,
"me, too. Me, too!"
306
00:12:12,955 --> 00:12:15,093
All right. I was happy for you.
307
00:12:15,231 --> 00:12:16,370
Were you just not into it?
308
00:12:16,508 --> 00:12:17,577
No. I was into it.
309
00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:19,610
I was. I told you I was ready.
310
00:12:19,748 --> 00:12:21,783
So you're ready,
and you're into it,
311
00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:25,059
And yet I... I couldn't, uh...
312
00:12:25,196 --> 00:12:27,714
Couldn't bring you to...
to, uh, the promised land?
313
00:12:30,885 --> 00:12:32,196
I really enjoyed myself.
314
00:12:35,023 --> 00:12:36,023
Stop the tape.
315
00:12:37,747 --> 00:12:39,471
I was headed to
the promised land.
316
00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:41,644
I almost got... I
got halfway there.
317
00:12:41,782 --> 00:12:43,782
I wanted to get
there. I really did.
318
00:12:43,919 --> 00:12:45,368
Halfway there is
very good, Paul.
319
00:12:48,057 --> 00:12:49,608
Paul?
320
00:12:49,746 --> 00:12:52,229
Listen, do you think I
enjoyed having to fake it?
321
00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:54,194
I ju... aren't we out of time?
322
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,952
I've never had to do
that with you before.
323
00:12:57,090 --> 00:12:58,090
Well, glad to hear that.
324
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,505
One time in the Poconos,
325
00:12:59,643 --> 00:13:01,239
But other than that, I've
never... we have plenty here.
326
00:13:01,263 --> 00:13:02,997
Careful. Careful. I think
we have more than enough.
327
00:13:03,021 --> 00:13:04,274
How do you think
it makes me feel
328
00:13:04,298 --> 00:13:05,658
that you can't
tell the difference?
329
00:13:05,745 --> 00:13:08,159
Hey, if it looks like a banshee
and screams like a banshee,
330
00:13:08,297 --> 00:13:09,435
I'm thinking, "banshee."
331
00:13:18,469 --> 00:13:19,469
Cake.
332
00:13:20,951 --> 00:13:22,296
I love cake.
333
00:13:24,675 --> 00:13:25,710
Cake.
334
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:26,950
Cake. Cake.
335
00:13:31,503 --> 00:13:32,503
Me, too.
336
00:13:35,019 --> 00:13:36,157
Honey, she's fine.
337
00:13:36,295 --> 00:13:37,985
I don't wanna have sex with you.
338
00:13:39,502 --> 00:13:41,462
Well, neither do I, but
don't you think we should?
339
00:13:41,502 --> 00:13:42,536
No.
340
00:13:42,674 --> 00:13:44,098
Come on. Let's
just get it over with.
341
00:13:44,122 --> 00:13:45,722
We can get on with
the rest of our lives.
342
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,433
Oh, well, now I'm hot.
343
00:13:51,811 --> 00:13:53,328
I hope they
appreciate this pizza
344
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,811
'cause I had to barrel my
way past this guy in a pizza suit
345
00:13:55,948 --> 00:13:58,639
who actually flicked me
with the end of himself.
346
00:13:59,776 --> 00:14:01,256
He knows a good
thing when he sees it.
347
00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:03,741
What are you doing?
348
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,017
What do you think I'm doing?
349
00:14:05,155 --> 00:14:06,327
Oh, I know what you're doing.
350
00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:08,707
Who's my big daddy?
351
00:14:10,258 --> 00:14:11,878
Well, big daddy's
not giving it up.
352
00:14:13,982 --> 00:14:14,982
What is the problem here?
353
00:14:15,051 --> 00:14:16,706
We've always had
perfectly great sex.
354
00:14:16,844 --> 00:14:18,982
Yeah. Well, apparently,
not in the Poconos.
355
00:14:22,016 --> 00:14:23,706
This is the beginning
of a new era,
356
00:14:23,844 --> 00:14:25,430
and we got off
on the wrong foot.
357
00:14:25,568 --> 00:14:27,208
I just want to get
us onto the right foot.
358
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,499
I see. So it's sex not
so much for pleasure,
359
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:30,636
more for making a point.
360
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:31,739
Exactly.
361
00:14:31,774 --> 00:14:32,946
Mm-hmm.
362
00:14:34,705 --> 00:14:35,705
Okay, sweetie?
363
00:14:36,981 --> 00:14:39,774
Even if I had one ounce of
attraction for you right now,
364
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,672
Joan and Debbie are
coming, like, any minute.
365
00:14:41,911 --> 00:14:42,911
Come on.
366
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,049
Huh? What'd I say?
367
00:14:46,394 --> 00:14:48,128
All right, but as soon as they
leave, I'm coming after you.
368
00:14:48,152 --> 00:14:49,256
Yeah. Whatever.
369
00:14:51,462 --> 00:14:53,151
Did ya get it?
Where is it? I want it.
370
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:54,393
Ooh! You got it. Yes!
371
00:14:54,531 --> 00:14:55,773
Where's Debbie?
372
00:14:55,910 --> 00:14:58,082
Oh, she's parking the
car. God, I love this pizza!
373
00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:00,324
Oh, come here, you cute thing.
374
00:15:00,462 --> 00:15:02,472
You've gotta tell me. What
is so good about this pizza?
375
00:15:02,496 --> 00:15:03,599
It's so good.
376
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,979
I don't know about
you, but I am starving.
377
00:15:06,117 --> 00:15:08,806
Well, good 'cause we got
the pizza that you guys like.
378
00:15:10,289 --> 00:15:11,392
Joan, what are you doing?
379
00:15:12,116 --> 00:15:13,116
I'm eating pizza.
380
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:14,667
Thatpizza?
381
00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:15,736
Yeah.
382
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,426
How could you do that to me?
383
00:15:18,564 --> 00:15:20,161
Paul, can I see you in the
kitchen for a moment, please?
384
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,805
Sure. How could you?
385
00:15:22,184 --> 00:15:23,184
What?
386
00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:24,840
It's like stabbing
me in the back.
387
00:15:26,011 --> 00:15:27,891
I guess Debbie doesn't
like the pizza as much...
388
00:15:36,046 --> 00:15:37,326
It's not gonna
happen, my friend.
389
00:15:37,356 --> 00:15:38,356
Come on!
390
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,597
We've got guests.
We've got Mabel.
391
00:15:40,735 --> 00:15:42,321
So, they can take
her for a walk.
392
00:15:42,459 --> 00:15:44,010
They just got here.
393
00:15:44,148 --> 00:15:45,148
You sure?
394
00:15:48,631 --> 00:15:49,941
You know what?
395
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,479
They can take
her for a little walk.
396
00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:58,733
That was...
397
00:15:59,078 --> 00:16:00,078
Incredible.
398
00:16:00,147 --> 00:16:01,182
Uh-huh.
399
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,837
I mean, I went in with
such low expectations.
400
00:16:07,319 --> 00:16:10,146
I thought we were gonna
just, you know, get the job done
401
00:16:10,285 --> 00:16:11,423
and call it a night,
402
00:16:11,561 --> 00:16:14,077
but you... you would have
none of that, would you?
403
00:16:14,215 --> 00:16:15,215
Mm-hmm.
404
00:16:16,836 --> 00:16:19,422
You realize, not
only did I get there,
405
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,525
but I came back,
and I got there again.
406
00:16:21,801 --> 00:16:23,387
Uh-huh.
407
00:16:27,491 --> 00:16:28,766
You don't believe me, do you?
408
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,042
Not one word.
409
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,490
But it's the truth.
410
00:16:31,628 --> 00:16:32,845
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
411
00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:34,490
Honey! You know what you are?
412
00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,972
You are the little
girl who cried cake.
413
00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:39,937
I am not.
414
00:16:40,075 --> 00:16:42,213
Yes, you are. And the
first time you cried it,
415
00:16:42,352 --> 00:16:44,868
we all came running
down that hill.
416
00:16:45,006 --> 00:16:47,420
In good faith, we ran down
that hill, and what did we find?
417
00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,247
No cake.
418
00:16:49,385 --> 00:16:50,741
So, this time, me
and the villagers,
419
00:16:50,765 --> 00:16:52,125
we're not even
gonna make the trip.
420
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,902
We're just gonna stay
here and make our bricks.
421
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,040
Are you finished?
422
00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:57,567
And someday, I'll
tell you right now,
423
00:16:57,591 --> 00:16:58,833
You're gonna cry cake for real,
424
00:16:58,971 --> 00:17:00,691
and you know what? I
will not even be there.
425
00:17:01,109 --> 00:17:02,246
You know what I'm saying.
426
00:17:08,073 --> 00:17:10,626
It's all really a
matter of credibility,
427
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,350
and the fact that you have none.
428
00:17:14,142 --> 00:17:15,866
Why do you insist on spoiling
429
00:17:16,004 --> 00:17:18,452
what was a perfectly
great experience?
430
00:17:18,590 --> 00:17:20,590
Paul, Jamie sounds
awfully sincere to me.
431
00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:23,625
Are you, like, ever on my side?
432
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,452
Twice, Paul. I got there twice.
433
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,658
Do you realize how
rare and special that is?
434
00:17:30,796 --> 00:17:31,796
Excuse me.
435
00:17:31,865 --> 00:17:32,865
Twice?
436
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,762
Twice.
437
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,830
Jamie, sometimes we
exaggerate to try to make a point.
438
00:17:41,209 --> 00:17:42,761
What?
439
00:17:42,899 --> 00:17:45,588
Well, for example, "I've got
a million things to do today."
440
00:17:45,726 --> 00:17:49,243
Now, I may be very busy, but do I
really have a million things to do?
441
00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:52,347
Unlikely, isn't it?
442
00:17:53,416 --> 00:17:54,829
Okay, can I just say something?
443
00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:56,932
If I, you know,
really concentrated
444
00:17:57,070 --> 00:17:59,208
and focused all my
energy and my attention,
445
00:17:59,347 --> 00:18:01,587
and the temperature was just so,
446
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,815
twice is not so
out of the question.
447
00:18:05,104 --> 00:18:06,424
You just said you
weren't focused.
448
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,560
You just said you
weren't focused. What?
449
00:18:10,862 --> 00:18:13,586
I wasn't. Yeah. I
wasn't all there.
450
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:15,924
What... what do you mean?
Do you mean you didn't have...
451
00:18:15,966 --> 00:18:16,966
No! Of course I did.
452
00:18:17,104 --> 00:18:18,206
Well, good.
453
00:18:18,345 --> 00:18:19,828
Honey, I'm a guy.
454
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:23,206
So?
455
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,276
So it means nothing.
456
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,310
Thanks.
457
00:18:26,448 --> 00:18:27,896
I mean, I can do
that in my sleep.
458
00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:37,205
Now, Paul, you were
saying you were distracted?
459
00:18:37,344 --> 00:18:40,136
I wasn't distracted.
It just so happened,
460
00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:41,688
The way I was positioned,
461
00:18:41,826 --> 00:18:44,343
my eyes were kind of
facing the night table,
462
00:18:44,481 --> 00:18:46,826
and I saw on the night
table was Mabel's pacifier.
463
00:18:46,964 --> 00:18:49,895
And I realized we forgot to give
the pacifier to Debbie and Joan.
464
00:18:50,032 --> 00:18:51,595
You're thinking this
during our lovemaking?
465
00:18:51,619 --> 00:18:52,939
So I'm thinking, "what
else did we forget?
466
00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,763
"Did we forget the
rattle. No. She's got that.
467
00:18:54,790 --> 00:18:56,456
"Her blankie? No.
That was in the stroller,"
468
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,997
And then, right there,
that's where you interrupted
469
00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:01,169
And you screamed out, "Oh, god!"
470
00:19:02,687 --> 00:19:03,687
So...
471
00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:04,790
I interrupted?
472
00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:06,893
You said, "Oh,
god," so I hear god.
473
00:19:07,031 --> 00:19:10,100
My mind went to my
theology class in college.
474
00:19:10,238 --> 00:19:12,686
"Oh, god." This to
you is an interruption?
475
00:19:12,824 --> 00:19:15,720
So I got "Mabel and
college. Mabel and college."
476
00:19:15,858 --> 00:19:16,898
You think, the phone rang,
477
00:19:16,927 --> 00:19:17,971
that could be an interruption.
478
00:19:17,995 --> 00:19:19,386
And I... excuse
me... started thinking,
479
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:21,524
"Uh-oh. Do we have enough
money to send Mabel to college?"
480
00:19:21,548 --> 00:19:24,513
For example, "Hey, pal,
make me a sandwich."
481
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:25,857
That could be an interruption.
482
00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:27,385
If we don't, then she's
gonna have to start working...
483
00:19:27,409 --> 00:19:28,529
This is what I'm thinking...
484
00:19:28,616 --> 00:19:30,006
She's gonna have to
work right after high school,
485
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,557
which is exactly what
my cousin, Todd, did.
486
00:19:31,581 --> 00:19:33,316
And I thought about Todd who
always had this annoying expression.
487
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,340
He used to say, "It doesn't take a
Philadelphia lawyer to figure that out."
488
00:19:37,753 --> 00:19:40,201
They go, "Philadelphia." I
used to think, "Why Philadelphia?
489
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,901
Why does a lawyer got
to be from Philadelphia?"
490
00:19:41,925 --> 00:19:43,108
So I'm thinking, "Philadelphia."
491
00:19:43,132 --> 00:19:44,477
I'm thinking of the Phillies.
492
00:19:44,615 --> 00:19:46,280
I'm thinking of cookie
rojas. Don't ask me why.
493
00:19:46,304 --> 00:19:49,166
So I have all these things
running around in my brain,
494
00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:50,821
So... Yeah, I was
a little distracted.
495
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,062
All this, and you
still got there?
496
00:19:59,441 --> 00:20:01,096
Honey, once again, I'm a guy.
497
00:20:05,269 --> 00:20:06,716
I have to say, I'm...
498
00:20:06,854 --> 00:20:09,509
I'm very unhappy about this.
499
00:20:09,647 --> 00:20:11,767
Do you see me jumpin' up
in the air singin' Sweet Sue?
500
00:20:12,269 --> 00:20:13,751
Listen,
501
00:20:13,889 --> 00:20:16,095
you two are putting way too
much pressure on yourselves.
502
00:20:16,233 --> 00:20:17,406
Forget about sex for a while.
503
00:20:17,544 --> 00:20:18,647
Maybe it was too soon.
504
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:19,785
So what are you
505
00:20:19,922 --> 00:20:21,784
you're telling us
we can't have sex?
506
00:20:21,922 --> 00:20:23,888
Well, in my professional
opinion, don't.
507
00:20:25,129 --> 00:20:26,129
Yikes.
508
00:20:32,128 --> 00:20:33,128
Or...
509
00:20:35,336 --> 00:20:36,656
We can go to the
apartment right now
510
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:37,897
and give this
thing one last shot.
511
00:20:37,921 --> 00:20:38,921
What?
512
00:20:39,059 --> 00:20:40,339
Hmm? Come on. Double or nothing.
513
00:20:44,231 --> 00:20:46,921
Now, as your therapist,
I strongly advise...
514
00:20:47,058 --> 00:20:48,714
Come on. Throw the marbles.
515
00:20:49,611 --> 00:20:50,611
I'm with him.
516
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,506
Fine.
517
00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:55,748
Don't come cryin' to
me when it all turns ugly.
518
00:20:59,403 --> 00:21:03,161
So, overall, the
experience, you would say...
519
00:21:04,506 --> 00:21:05,850
Very nice.
520
00:21:08,057 --> 00:21:09,609
On a scale of one to ten?
521
00:21:10,816 --> 00:21:13,092
Like a 6, a solid 6.
522
00:21:14,643 --> 00:21:15,781
You see? That I believe.
523
00:21:30,159 --> 00:21:31,297
I don't get it.
524
00:21:31,435 --> 00:21:33,124
I mean, you told me
to be more assertive,
525
00:21:33,263 --> 00:21:37,159
and I have to say
it's not working well.
526
00:21:41,538 --> 00:21:42,572
What do you mean?
527
00:21:42,710 --> 00:21:45,365
Well, people seem
to really dislike me.
528
00:21:47,676 --> 00:21:48,951
Why do you think that is?
529
00:21:49,985 --> 00:21:50,985
I don't know.
530
00:21:51,916 --> 00:21:53,951
Come on. Why do you think?
531
00:21:54,089 --> 00:21:55,675
Because maybe...
532
00:21:55,813 --> 00:21:59,675
Maybe it's because I like to
flick them with the end of myself.
533
00:22:02,606 --> 00:22:03,743
Now we're getting somewhere.
36871
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