All language subtitles for Miracle Workers s03e08 Over the Mountain.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,370 --> 00:00:03,490 ?????? 2 00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:08,230 Argh... 3 00:00:08,910 --> 00:00:10,846 Well, I guess this is the part of the trip 4 00:00:10,870 --> 00:00:12,766 where we start drinking our own pee. 5 00:00:12,790 --> 00:00:14,776 Well, what do you say? You do me, and I do you? 6 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,960 We can't go on like this. We need... 7 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,136 water! 8 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,122 Water! We're saved! 9 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:24,136 [PANTING] What? 10 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,226 No. No, no, no, no! 11 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,226 Benny! This water is dry! 12 00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:29,786 - What happened? - Ah, don't worry. 13 00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:32,026 It just means that the heat's starting to melt your brain. 14 00:00:32,050 --> 00:00:34,410 Guys! You made it! 15 00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:38,396 Dingus? I thought you were chasing after Trig. 16 00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:40,556 I was, yeah, but then she shot my horse 17 00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:42,156 and left me stranded in the desert. 18 00:00:42,180 --> 00:00:43,756 Man, I thought I was a goner, 19 00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:46,636 until I stumbled across this swingin' pool party! 20 00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:49,406 [CHUCKLES] Hold on. Let me get out of the pool. 21 00:00:49,430 --> 00:00:50,806 Okay, he's gonna die. 22 00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,966 I want to introduce you guys to my new friends. 23 00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:54,326 Gentlemen, this is 24 00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:58,099 the brilliant Professor Von Ziegler. 25 00:00:58,123 --> 00:01:00,606 I almost had you in that last chess match. 26 00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:03,976 [CHUCKLES] And this is the one and only 27 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,336 Mr. Marvellous! 28 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,209 Oh, that rabbit! Did you see that rabbit? 29 00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:09,456 He was in there the whole time! 30 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,749 - Wow. - And last, 31 00:01:11,773 --> 00:01:13,786 the alluring countess. 32 00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:16,271 Enchant�. 33 00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:19,156 Okay, well, it was great to meet all you folks 34 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,306 but we really should get going. 35 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,631 Oh, no, no, no! 36 00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:24,415 They're just about to start the limbo contest, so... 37 00:01:25,940 --> 00:01:27,516 You grab his legs, I'll go for his arms. 38 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,596 How low... can they go... 39 00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:31,521 - Okay. - What are you guys doing? 40 00:01:31,545 --> 00:01:33,686 You're embarrassing me in front of my new friends! 41 00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:37,726 Countess! Write to me! I love you! 42 00:01:37,750 --> 00:01:45,750 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 43 00:02:07,885 --> 00:02:10,386 All right, let's get these wagons 44 00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:11,946 roped up nice and tight! 45 00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:14,241 These mountains here are the last things standing 46 00:02:14,265 --> 00:02:15,523 between us and Oregon. 47 00:02:15,547 --> 00:02:16,516 [ALL CHEER] 48 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,556 Oh, Dingus. You feeling any better? 49 00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:19,996 Yeah, a little better. 50 00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:22,076 So it's, uh, looking like I'll be riding with you guys 51 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,596 for a little while while I recuperate. 52 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,686 You know, I just wanted to clear the air 53 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,806 in case there's any weirdness between us. 54 00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,606 - Why would there be weirdness? - You know, 55 00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:32,486 because I dumped you to start bounty hunting Trig? 56 00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:34,606 Ah, water under the bridge, my friend. 57 00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:36,486 My time spent with the Native Americans 58 00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:38,856 gave me a completely different outlook on life. 59 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,136 I've learned to shed my foolish ego. 60 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,336 Now I take pleasure in the simple things, 61 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,496 like the rush of the wind, 62 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,976 or the beauty of a single leaf on a tree. 63 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,346 Wow, you got all of that from one day. 64 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,746 What's a day? Oh, you mean a "moon." 65 00:02:52,770 --> 00:02:56,026 Sorry, I think of time in terms of "moons" now. 66 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,786 And I think of distance in terms of "canoes." 67 00:02:58,810 --> 00:03:00,810 But more on that later. [CHUCKLES] 68 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,716 What's all this about? 69 00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:06,756 Getting ready to go over the mountain. Remember? 70 00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,756 We each agreed to do an equal amount of the work? 71 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:11,481 Cool. Didn't ask for your whole life story. 72 00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:13,296 I'm looking for the Reverend. Have you seen him? 73 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,061 Oh! He and Prudence are having one of 74 00:03:16,085 --> 00:03:19,646 their special bible study sessions in your wagon. 75 00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:23,291 Ah, my Ezekiel. He's such a good man. 76 00:03:23,315 --> 00:03:25,336 [LOUDLY] Unlike you filthy sinners! 77 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,082 [HISSES] 78 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,150 Bible studies, huh? 79 00:03:31,174 --> 00:03:32,296 [SCOFFS] 80 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,376 - [WAGON RATTLING] - ?? Go tell it on the mountain ?? 81 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,336 PRUDENCE: Yes! Yes! Yes! 82 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,370 EZEKIEL [EXCITEDLY]: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John! 83 00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:40,712 That was amazing. 84 00:03:40,736 --> 00:03:42,319 God, I've been married to Todd for so long, 85 00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:43,924 I forgot sex is supposed to feel good. 86 00:03:43,948 --> 00:03:46,466 These have been the happiest days of my life. 87 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,671 It's so strange, I know the Bible says 88 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,516 what we're doing is a sin, but everything about it 89 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,796 - feels so right. - Maybe it is right. 90 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:55,556 I mean, we're both trapped in bad relationships. 91 00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:57,281 Once we get to Oregon, 92 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,476 we'll come clean to our partners 93 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,071 and start our new life together. 94 00:04:00,095 --> 00:04:01,646 That sounds perfect. 95 00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:02,811 I just can't shake the feeling 96 00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:04,136 we're gonna be punished somehow. 97 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,701 TODD: Prudence! Ezekiel! 98 00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:06,806 PRUDENCE: Todd! 99 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,891 Uh, it's not what it looks like. 100 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,943 I should have known all along... 101 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,611 what an amazing man you are! 102 00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:16,936 Excuse me? 103 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,581 You're the reason we're getting to Oregon. 104 00:04:18,605 --> 00:04:21,865 And I know I have been a harsh critic at times. 105 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,901 I was wrong, okay? 106 00:04:24,925 --> 00:04:26,066 I apologise. 107 00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,511 Don't mention it. Everyone makes mistakes. 108 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,236 And, on a personal note, 109 00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:34,146 I just want to thank you 110 00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:35,511 for all the special attention 111 00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,836 that you've been paying to my wife lately. 112 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,201 I know you've been putting in the long hours 113 00:04:40,225 --> 00:04:41,916 with the bible study lessons. 114 00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:46,316 I mean, I can hear her screaming "Oh, God, oh, God." 115 00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:48,636 So I know that it's working. 116 00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:50,491 Can't really figure out why the two of you 117 00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:52,693 are butt naked right now, but... 118 00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,286 I'm sure that's part of it, too. 119 00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,166 Yeah, yeah, it is, mm-hmm. 120 00:04:57,190 --> 00:04:59,630 Well, I'll let you guys get back to it. 121 00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,416 Hey... 122 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,696 give it to her good, Rev. 123 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,960 The bible study lessons, I mean. 124 00:05:09,866 --> 00:05:13,106 - That went surprisingly well. - [CHUCKLES] 125 00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:14,746 Should we get back to our lessons? 126 00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:16,546 ?? Go tell it on the mountain ?? 127 00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:18,826 So, Phaedra, girl, fill me in! 128 00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,986 You know, what's the hot goss around the wagon train? 129 00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:23,106 Ooh, let me think. [GASPS] 130 00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:25,956 Juliette made one of Martha's pie recipes, 131 00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:29,400 and didn't give Martha any credit. What? 132 00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,956 That's not hot goss. 133 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:34,076 I mean, that's not even warm goss. 134 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:37,286 That's like days-old, left-out-on-the-counter goss. 135 00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:39,310 Is this hot enough for you? 136 00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,166 Round 'em up. 137 00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:44,246 [SCREAMING, CLAMOURING] 138 00:05:44,270 --> 00:05:47,491 Trig. We meet again. 139 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,426 Please don't kill me, okay? 140 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,656 You won, fair and square! Just let me live 141 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,501 and I'll never chase you again, I promise! 142 00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:54,776 Come on, man, have some dignity. 143 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,541 - I'm not here for you. - [COCKS GUN] 144 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,936 I'm here for him. 145 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,000 Hey! Aah! 146 00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:04,146 Zeke. Zeke! 147 00:06:04,170 --> 00:06:05,746 Look, I'm sorry, it's my first time trying this. 148 00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:07,071 My heart's in the right place. 149 00:06:07,095 --> 00:06:09,095 No, that was good. But something is wrong outside. 150 00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,676 I don't understand. I thought you beat me already. 151 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,521 I thought I did, too, 152 00:06:16,545 --> 00:06:19,156 until I started reading the headlines. 153 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:22,716 "Freight Train Robbed by Daughter of Benny the Teen." 154 00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:24,636 "Trig's Reign of Terror... 155 00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:27,846 Following in Daddy's Big Footsteps." 156 00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:30,211 Do you know how frustrating it is 157 00:06:30,235 --> 00:06:31,606 to be the number one bandit 158 00:06:31,630 --> 00:06:33,331 and still be compared to you? 159 00:06:33,355 --> 00:06:36,046 In all fairness, you're a fantastic bandit, Trig, 160 00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,696 but Benny's the greatest of all time. 161 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,341 How can you say that? 162 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:40,402 I mean, look at the stats. 163 00:06:40,426 --> 00:06:42,715 I'm beating him in lifetime murders, 164 00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:44,960 bank robberies, and riverboat heists. 165 00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:46,976 But you're looking at it through an 1844 lens. 166 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,696 The game is way different than it used to be. 167 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:49,906 The guns are heavier, 168 00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,266 they didn't have zone shooting, 169 00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:53,791 not to mention all the advancements in bandit nutrition. 170 00:06:53,815 --> 00:06:55,596 Yeah, but Trig is still a rising star. 171 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:56,961 I mean, she hasn't even hit her peak yet. 172 00:06:56,985 --> 00:06:58,466 - Thank you. - Now that's a fair point. 173 00:06:58,490 --> 00:06:59,866 What we gotta do is graph 174 00:06:59,890 --> 00:07:02,281 Trig's expected trajectory with Benny's prime, 175 00:07:02,305 --> 00:07:03,506 - which was... - 1823. 176 00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,145 What d'you know about that, boy? Gimme some of that. 177 00:07:05,169 --> 00:07:07,196 Hey, you know what? Shut up, all of you! 178 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,916 We don't have to speculate about who the best of all time is, 179 00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:13,451 because I'm gonna prove it right now. 180 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,006 - [CLANG] - [ONLOOKERS GASP] 181 00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:17,270 Drop your guns, or I'll pump you full of lead. 182 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,981 By the way, that whole begging for my life thing 183 00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:29,056 I was doing earlier was obviously just a ruse. 184 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,741 So when we get to Oregon, can you not tell 185 00:07:30,765 --> 00:07:32,936 the other bounty hunters, please? 186 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,896 [GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION] Hey, pumpkin. 187 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,986 I bet you're happy to see this, huh? 188 00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:38,986 Benny the Teen, back on top. 189 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,786 No, you've got it all wrong. 190 00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,106 I'm not the same man I used to be. 191 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,306 I have found internal peace and happiness 192 00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:48,066 and I want to share those gifts with you. 193 00:07:48,090 --> 00:07:51,081 I'm wanted dead or alive, right? Can I choose dead? 194 00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:52,046 [SIGHS] 195 00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:54,396 It is amazing you happened to be 196 00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:57,361 in the exact right place and time to get the drop on Trig, 197 00:07:57,385 --> 00:07:58,916 and doing it in your underwear 198 00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,086 so she wouldn't hear your clothes rustle! 199 00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:02,486 Smart! 200 00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:05,371 - Yeah, that's why we did that. - Loud clothes, correct. 201 00:08:05,395 --> 00:08:06,928 Heroes. 202 00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:10,957 - Well, that was pretty lucky. - That was more than lucky. 203 00:08:10,981 --> 00:08:12,821 Not only are we not being punished for our affair, 204 00:08:12,845 --> 00:08:14,695 but it actually just helped everyone! 205 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,941 Maybe what we're doing isn't a sin after all. 206 00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:20,096 Maybe... maybe God just wants us to be happy. 207 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,856 - [THUNDER CRASHES] - [LIGHTNING ZAPS] 208 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,306 ?????? 209 00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:27,866 Did you see that? 210 00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:29,946 A bolt of lightning just killed Claire. 211 00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:32,271 That's strange... A single bolt of lightning 212 00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:33,751 on a perfectly clear day 213 00:08:33,775 --> 00:08:35,775 directly striking our lead ox? 214 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,276 Oh, well. Sure it's nothing. 215 00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,476 Should we head up the mountain? 216 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,921 ?????? 217 00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:44,945 Oh, God. 218 00:08:45,687 --> 00:08:46,676 Heave! 219 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,566 [MEN GRUNTING] 220 00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:50,966 EZEKIEL: Heave! 221 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:53,006 - [WOOD CRACKS] - JOHN: Aww! 222 00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:55,326 Damn it! That's the third broken wheel today. 223 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,326 Ever since we started coming up this damn mountain, 224 00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:59,206 everything's gone wrong. It's like we're cursed! 225 00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:02,296 Whoa, whoa, whoa! "Cursed" is a strong word, John. 226 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,296 - "Inconvenienced," perhaps. - Well, how would you explain it? 227 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,736 People keep getting injured. 228 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,536 There's a mysterious plague sweeping through the camp, 229 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,816 and Granny McGill keeps spontaneously combusting. 230 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,146 Did somebody say my name? 231 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,106 Eeek! Ooh! 232 00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:17,426 - Oh, not again! - I mean, that... that's pretty normal. 233 00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:19,786 - I've seen that before. - What is happening here? 234 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,746 We are being led by a righteous man. 235 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,866 Our trip should be protected by God. 236 00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:25,316 I mean, nothing's changed, right? 237 00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:26,956 You're still a completely faultless man 238 00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,476 with nary a blemish of sin on your perfect soul? 239 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,916 Oh, yeah, sure am. Totally. 240 00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,156 Squeaky clean Zekey over here. 241 00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:35,180 - Um, excuse me a moment. - Oh, yeah. 242 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,846 Oh, hey, Zeke. Crazy day, huh? 243 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,006 Levi's having a bit of a temper tantrum. 244 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,846 [DEMON-VOICED] Salute Satanum! 245 00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:45,166 [CONTINUES SPEAKING LATIN] 246 00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:46,766 Now Levi, what did we say 247 00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,656 about praising Satan in ancient Latin? 248 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,816 [DEMON VOICE] Shove it up your ass, bitch. 249 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,696 [CHUCKLES] He's such a scamp. 250 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,016 Are you not the tiniest bit concerned 251 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,616 that the sudden downturn things have taken 252 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,336 might be our doing? 253 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,376 - What do you mean? - I feel like God is punishing us 254 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,706 for the affair. 255 00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,346 Come on, not this again. 256 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,866 I thought you said you were over it. 257 00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,706 I thought I was, but look around you. 258 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,506 Things are not going great right now. 259 00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:09,946 Everything's fine. 260 00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:11,266 You're just stuck in your own head. 261 00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,956 So, the wagon's free at lunch. 262 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,356 What do you say I help you get out of your head, huh? 263 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:18,316 [ROARS] 264 00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,940 I should probably deal with this, but come by later. 265 00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,796 [DEMON VOICE] Shove it up your ass, bitch. 266 00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:25,286 You already said that one. 267 00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:27,446 [DEMON VOICE] Oops. Sorry about that. 268 00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:30,766 My name is Gorgeous Pete, and I'm a bandit. 269 00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:32,246 ALL: Hi, Gorgeous Pete. 270 00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:34,446 This is a painting I made of myself. 271 00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:36,006 It's a scary outlaw. 272 00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:38,536 But that's not the real me on the inside. 273 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,056 I want to be a dancer. 274 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,960 You don't have to be that guy anymore. Let it go. 275 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,456 All right, who wants to go next? 276 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,490 Uh, Trig? 277 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,290 Sure. Um... 278 00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:55,930 This is a painting of me. 279 00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:58,906 As you can see, I'm giving you the middle finger. 280 00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:00,656 [LAUGHS] Okay. 281 00:11:00,696 --> 00:11:02,116 We have a hard case here, don't we? 282 00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:04,836 I get it. I used to be just like you. 283 00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:07,596 Every weekend I was out robbing banks, 284 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,796 sticking up stagecoaches, 285 00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:11,716 but I felt empty on the inside. 286 00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:14,326 That is, until I did the work 287 00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,646 and I became the fully enlightened person 288 00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,046 that you see now. 289 00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:20,446 Oh, my God, I'm in hell. This is hell. 290 00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:22,566 No, Trig. 291 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:25,656 Why can't you achieve the same level of growth as me? 292 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,376 Because it's bullshit. 293 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,536 One spiritual weekend retreat does not change a lifetime 294 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,456 of being a selfish asshole. 295 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,456 Except in my case, that's exactly what happened. 296 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,706 Because I did the work. 297 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,866 Stop saying you did the work! 298 00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,400 What work? What does that even mean? 299 00:11:40,424 --> 00:11:42,386 It's the work. It's what I did. 300 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,847 - Yeah, he did the work. - Shut up, Kevin! 301 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,706 Okay, all right, look, why don't we move on 302 00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,266 to our Kundalini exercises? 303 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,996 I think we need to release 304 00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,836 the negative energy from our buttholes. 305 00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:55,156 All right, everybody up. Come on. 306 00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,996 On your feet, and bend over. 307 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,356 - Yeah. - [ALL GROAN] 308 00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,726 Loosen those hips. Let it out. 309 00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:03,166 Hey, Zeke. Sorry I'm late. 310 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,406 There was a freak outbreak of frogs. 311 00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:07,406 Honestly, it was just more random than bad. 312 00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:08,686 Whoa. 313 00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:11,558 ?? A-a-amen ?? 314 00:12:11,582 --> 00:12:15,736 - Oh, hey. - Hey. You decorated. 315 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,256 I thought our S-E-X could use a little G-O-D? 316 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,336 That way, we can continue our affair 317 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,536 and appease our vengeful lord and saviour. 318 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:26,826 Uh, I mean, it's a little distracting 319 00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:28,746 but if it's what you need... 320 00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:30,986 First, we set the mood 321 00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:34,146 with a naughty little sprinkle of holy water. 322 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,906 Wow, you're really using a lot. 323 00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:37,061 Yeah. Make sure to get some on your face. 324 00:12:37,085 --> 00:12:38,836 [SPUTTERS] Uh... very nice. 325 00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,716 And can I interest my lady 326 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,436 in a taste of bitter ashes? 327 00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:44,996 Maybe we can just skip to the part 328 00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:46,876 - where we make out? - Of course. 329 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,246 And I have the perfect thing for that. 330 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,046 What? What is that? 331 00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:54,006 Just a little contraption I built. 332 00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:57,366 The hammer will continuously strike me in the testicles as we kiss, 333 00:12:57,390 --> 00:13:00,416 thereby removing all pleasure from the sexual experience. 334 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,776 - Shall we take it for a spin? - Uh, are you sure? 335 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,976 I don't think that's... 336 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,536 [SCREAMS IN PAIN] 337 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,336 Oh, wow! That did damage! 338 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,056 Oh, one blow is utterly devastating! 339 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,986 I can't imagine doing that even once more, 340 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,484 let alone for an entire make-out session. 341 00:13:15,508 --> 00:13:17,026 Um, I'm sorry. Can we stop? 342 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,506 This isn't working for me. 343 00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:19,826 How's it supposed to make me feel 344 00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:21,506 that you have to punish yourself to be with me? 345 00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:23,466 It's just... it's the only thing I've thought of 346 00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:24,950 to atone for our sins. 347 00:13:24,974 --> 00:13:26,974 Zeke, I'm ready to share my whole life with you. 348 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,116 But I need you to be in it, too, 349 00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:31,036 and not think that our relationship is a sin. 350 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,116 I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. 351 00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:34,876 Of course, of course I want to be with you. 352 00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,421 I... you're right. I am being ridiculous 353 00:13:38,477 --> 00:13:40,166 and if you will still have me, 354 00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:41,726 I'd like to make out with you super hard right now. 355 00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,750 There we go. 356 00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:46,526 [WAGON RATTLING] 357 00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:48,560 Oh, that's not good. 358 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,136 - Rockslide! - We're all gonna die! 359 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,936 Jesus, Martha, we're right here! 360 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,296 You don't have to yell! 361 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,376 - Take cover! - Oh, shit! 362 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,546 - Hurry up with that lock! - I'm trying! 363 00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:02,986 - Aah! - Ow! Ah! 364 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,546 - Oh... - It's okay, Benny. 365 00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:09,946 You taught us all how to abandon our selfish ways. 366 00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:12,066 We'll all stick together till the bitter end. 367 00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:13,878 Yeah, about that... 368 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,956 it's every man for himself. Good luck! 369 00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:18,076 See ya, suckers! 370 00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,836 - Ooh! Ee! Ow! - Ah, ah! 371 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,420 - What's he doing? - Being the same ol' Benny. 372 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,430 MARTHA: It's gonna collapse! 373 00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,486 Well, at least we're together. 374 00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:31,510 [SCREAMING] 375 00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,856 Dear Lord, I repent my wicked ways. 376 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,936 I committed the sin of adultery with Prudence. 377 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,576 - The hell? - I was too weak 378 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,696 to resist the temptation of the harlot's flesh! 379 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,936 She bewitched me with her devilish charms, 380 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,256 and ankles that just won't quit! 381 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,696 It was wicked and wrong, 382 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,410 and I promise I will never disobey you again, oh, Lord! 383 00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:55,346 Yes! Yes! It worked! Thank you! 384 00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:57,426 Thank you, oh, Lord, for your infinite mercy! 385 00:14:57,450 --> 00:15:00,756 Pru, you see that? We're saved. 386 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:02,676 Well, I guess I know how you really feel now. 387 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,220 Oh, Pru, wait. 388 00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,208 [CHUCKLES] 389 00:15:09,232 --> 00:15:11,196 Oh, hey, guys. 390 00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,262 [CHUCKLES] 391 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,514 So, that happened. 392 00:15:14,270 --> 00:15:16,270 Now this is hot goss! 393 00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:21,886 So, things got a little crazy there. 394 00:15:21,910 --> 00:15:23,206 Some personal stuff came to light 395 00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:25,016 that I'm obviously not particularly proud of. 396 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,536 But the main thing is 397 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,216 we are back on track to make it to Oregon. 398 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,456 - So... - Enough! 399 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,616 Why should we listen to you anymore? 400 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,536 You seduced me away from my fellow Noonans 401 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,746 only to make the beast with two backs with that wench. 402 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,146 You are not a righteous man, Ezekiel Brown. 403 00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,825 You are evil. 404 00:15:41,849 --> 00:15:43,946 No one messes with my girl Phaedra 405 00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:45,026 and gets away with it. 406 00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:47,266 Team Phae-Phae for life, bitch! 407 00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:49,300 And... and... this... This is how all of you feel? 408 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,756 None of you are Team Zeke-Zeke? 409 00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:54,516 I have an idea! I can get my shunning kit! 410 00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:57,196 [SQUEAKS HAPPILY] Oh, uh, thank you, God. 411 00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,476 This... this does help. 412 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,860 Hmph! 413 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,126 [EXCLAIMING INCOHERENTLY] 414 00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:05,646 My God, how dare you betray me? 415 00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:08,446 You've made a proper cuckhold of me. Oh, God. 416 00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:10,846 I can feel my cuck's horns growing in already. 417 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,296 I'm sorry, Todd. 418 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,056 Clearly, I made a mistake with Zeke. 419 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,376 How did you even find the time 420 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,376 to have an affair between all the bible study sessions? 421 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,536 - Uh... - Doesn't matter. 422 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,626 Just stay in the wagon. Try not to bone 423 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,650 too many dudes while I'm out. 424 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,706 God, that no good, stinking reverend! 425 00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:34,866 I never should've trusted him. Gosh! 426 00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:37,196 Hey there, Todd. 427 00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:39,220 Rough day, huh? 428 00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,476 I shouldn't be talking to you. 429 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,356 Well, I just think it's messed up what he did to you, 430 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:46,196 stealing your girl like that. 431 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,006 You know, everyone's laughing at you. 432 00:16:48,783 --> 00:16:50,246 - They are? - Yep. 433 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:52,446 And it's all because of him. 434 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,566 Yeah! Though, if I'm being honest with myself, 435 00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:58,206 I wonder if I had a small part to play in this. 436 00:16:58,230 --> 00:17:00,096 I don't think I was always a good husband... 437 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,136 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 438 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,776 You had it right the first time. 439 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,376 You're perfect, he sucks. 440 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,536 Yeah! That British little shit! 441 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,696 God, I wish there was a way I could get back at him. 442 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,816 Maybe there is, 443 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,266 but first, you have to do something for me. 444 00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:16,386 ?????? 445 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,026 [GRUNTS OF EXERTION] 446 00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,506 Put your backs into it! 447 00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:23,426 Oof, why did they make these wagons so heavy? 448 00:17:23,450 --> 00:17:25,740 - Hey, I'm gonna take five. - What? 449 00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:29,596 Howdy, Rev. 450 00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:31,156 Oh, you're not supposed to talk to me, remember? 451 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,356 - I am shunned. - Eh. 452 00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:33,756 How you holding up, anyway? 453 00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:34,996 Yeah, not great. 454 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,326 The beggar's cloth 455 00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:38,086 scratches my skin with every step that I take 456 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,486 And the stone of shame 457 00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:40,726 feels like it's about to snap my neck. 458 00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:43,846 And I lost the love of my life forever, so... 459 00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:46,766 [SIGHS] But, if it gets us back on God's good side, 460 00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:47,886 all worth it, right? 461 00:17:48,092 --> 00:17:49,920 [TODD LAUGHS] 462 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,336 Todd? What are you doing? 463 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:58,056 This is what happens when you disrespect Todd Aberdeen! 464 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,066 - No, no, no, no. - [TODD LAUGHING] 465 00:18:00,090 --> 00:18:07,530 ?????? 466 00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,700 [EXTENDED CRASHING] 467 00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,836 JOHN: What the hell are you thinking? 468 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,076 How we gonna get off this mountain now? 469 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,310 You're not getting down. I am! 470 00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,286 Help! 471 00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,726 - Prudence! - Zeke! 472 00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,470 Help! 473 00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:35,646 Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast, loverboy. 474 00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:37,416 And sorry I can't stick around 475 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,536 and listen to more of your bullshit, Benny. 476 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,256 I gotta get back to being the best bandit of all time. 477 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,416 Trig, wait! 478 00:18:43,814 --> 00:18:46,376 You're right. I haven't changed. 479 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,306 I'm still the same selfish jerk I've always been 480 00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:51,106 but I... I'm trying. 481 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,626 And I meant it when I said 482 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:56,250 I care about you and I want you to be happy. 483 00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,476 I don't believe a damn word you say. 484 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:02,516 The only thing that would make me happy 485 00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:05,676 is you freezing to death on top of this mountain. 486 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,338 Let's ride. 487 00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:15,406 ?????? 488 00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:17,590 You were saying something about God protecting us? 489 00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:21,526 "Congratulations on your new Testicle Kicker 900, 490 00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:22,806 "the very latest in self-punishment 491 00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,696 from your friends at the Ouch Corporation." 492 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,216 Uh... aha! 493 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,856 "Connect the testicle-crushing hammer 494 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,136 to slot C." 495 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,863 Where is slot C? 496 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,440 Seems like a really key piece of information. 497 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,050 Ow. 498 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,506 I know we're being cursed, 499 00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:44,306 but do you have to make the print so tiny? 500 00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,450 That seems unnecessarily cruel. 501 00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:50,196 Get in there, get in there, get in there, aah! 502 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,620 Yes! Ha ha! 503 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:56,556 Oh! Yaa! 504 00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,966 Aah, yes! Right in the junk. 505 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,990 Prudence is gonna love this. 506 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,590 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36908

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