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1
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,740
Oh, it's going to be one of them
days, is it? What do you want?
2
00:00:57,740 --> 00:01:02,440
Happy Birthday!
It's not me birthday. It could be.
3
00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:09,400
Don't go away.
I've got a proposition.
4
00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:15,360
I don't want your propositions.
5
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:20,360
Just listen! That's all I'm asking.
Take the flowers. I don't want them.
6
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,820
I can't accept gifts
from strange men. Take one flower...
7
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:29,600
and I'll bring the rest tomorrow
night when it's quiet and cosy. Oh!
8
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:33,260
Come on, my little Tweety Pie!
9
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,960
Tha knows I'm not the marrying kind
10
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:40,560
but I might consider something
with visiting privileges.
11
00:01:55,100 --> 00:02:00,160
You don't miss the army, do you?
I don't suppose it misses me.
12
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:05,200
Then, you were only in for the war.
It seemed long enough at the time.
13
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,420
I don't know how I managed
to tear myself away(!)
14
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:12,480
I stayed on as a regular but...
15
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,440
it was never the same
after the war finished.
16
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,940
No, you miss the excitement
and the challenge.
17
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:25,600
It's the little things you miss -
the comradeship and...
18
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,820
and brewing tea up
in your little slit trench.
19
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:32,880
The cough of a dying sentry.
20
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,900
I suppose the time has come
for me to face it.
21
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:01,100
You're going to get new trousers?
22
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:04,500
I'm not going to get new trousers.
23
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,280
I hardly call that facing it.
24
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,640
That's the trouble
with your trousers.
25
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:15,760
Any minute you expect to be facing
it! It's more serious than trousers.
26
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,280
There's not much
more serious than your trousers.
27
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,880
It's Nora Batty.
28
00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:25,760
Yes, well, that IS serious.
29
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,060
I'm getting nowhere with Nora Batty.
30
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:32,480
Well, that must be a relief.
31
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,440
I've half a mind
to try and forget her...completely.
32
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,160
You mean
like her husband used to do?
33
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,880
Well, she's not
the only attractive bird.
34
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:50,280
Trouble is, she's the only one
living next door.
35
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:54,720
It must be terrible
when the mind goes.
36
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,320
Well, I expect he's used to it.
37
00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:03,680
I've a good mind to go back to my
first love. What? Social security?
38
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,440
Audrey Mottershaw!
39
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:12,260
But that was at school! So? Well,
have you seen her since school?
40
00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:17,040
Well, tha knows how things are!
Tha drifts apart.
41
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,720
That's some drift.
42
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,900
You've kept it all this time.
43
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:36,380
You're just an old sweetie,
aren't you? I am, Norm.
44
00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:41,940
Are we talking about BIG Audrey
Mottershaw? GBH in a gymslip.
45
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:44,540
We had this big thing going.
46
00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:49,360
Yes, she used to beat you up.
Couldn't keep her hands off me.
47
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,720
She were lovely.
48
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,100
She was horrible.
49
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:58,620
Aye, well, all right,
but I mean she were nearly lovely.
50
00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:01,380
Well, which one's her?
51
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,080
That one.
52
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,060
That's Billy Cinders.
53
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:15,800
Never!
54
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:22,160
Just imagine! All these years
you've been in love with Billy Cinders!
55
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:35,500
How do you propose to find her?
I mean, you don't know where she lives or what she looks like.
56
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:40,640
I know what she looks like. Oh, no,
you know what she used to look like.
57
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:45,740
I'd recognise her anywhere. She'll
be kneeling on somebody's chest.
58
00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:50,080
Yes, she was very mature,
even at school, wasn't she?
59
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,800
Didn't her voice break before ours?
60
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:59,180
Serve thee right if I end up
with Audrey Mottershaw!
61
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:01,940
Or even Billy Cinders!
62
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,900
Mottershaw? Audrey Mottershaw?
63
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:13,560
She were in tha class at school.
64
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,760
Did she always have a mucky neck?
No, that was him.
65
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,400
A girl with a mucky neck!
66
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,480
No, that was Ruby Milburn.
67
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:27,920
How do you remember
Ruby Milburn so well?
68
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,980
She had a crush on me.
69
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:36,000
It's true! She used to
walk him home. Didn't she?
70
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,300
Only as far as Arnold Street.
71
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:45,440
Lord, the things you miss
when you're a milk monitor.
72
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,920
Norman Clegg!
73
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,480
The way she fancied thee...
74
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:55,900
and tha never went any further
with her than Arnold Street.
75
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:59,580
Never mind me.
What about Audrey Mottershaw?
76
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,020
Ooh! Yeah, that's her.
77
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:09,060
Ooh, I remember now!
Big Audrey...Mottershaw!
78
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:13,100
Where do they live?
I know where they used to live.
79
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,620
But they pulled it down. Oh.
80
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:19,040
Well, that's her!
That's Audrey Mottershaw!
81
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,760
SHE probably pulled it down!
82
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:31,760
Fancy pulling her house down. How
do I find out where she lives now?
83
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,280
You probably won't. It's
too long ago. I'm going to try.
84
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,120
You're a little demon, aren't you?
85
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:44,300
She may not even live round here
any more. I'm going to find her.
86
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:48,140
You are!
You're just an old romantic.
87
00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:51,580
I'm getting nowhere
with Nora Batty, Norm.
88
00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:56,420
And I've got to do summat about my
love life before I'm past me peak.
89
00:07:56,420 --> 00:08:00,580
Judging by those trousers,
you've a peak or two left.
90
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:06,140
Couldn't you advertise
in Wrestlers Weekly or Rugby News?
91
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:13,100
Even if you find her,
she may not remember you. Rubbish!
92
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:17,520
Ah, well, if she thinks of rubbish
she might remember you.
93
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,440
I'm going to find her, Norman.
94
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,420
I'm going to find Audrey Mottershaw.
95
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:28,360
A man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
96
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,720
She's probably not even called
Mottershaw any more.
97
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,220
Not a Mottershaw?
98
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:41,060
Of course not. She'll have changed
her name if she got married. Listen.
99
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:45,860
If she knelt on his chest, her
husband could be called Mottershaw.
100
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:50,240
No, no. She'll have
a different name entirely.
101
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:56,820
Like what? How should I know?
I'm just trying to tell you, it won't be easy.
102
00:08:56,820 --> 00:09:00,220
Somebody must know
if she got married.
103
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:06,700
Yes, well, who do we know
that takes a keen interest in who marries who,
104
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:11,800
who nearly married who or might've
married who, except they got lucky?
105
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:15,360
Nora Batty.
106
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:22,640
The Yorkshire Encyclopaedia
Of Wedlock, Courtship And Whispers And Rumours.
107
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,020
Just a minute!
108
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:29,460
I can't ask Nora Batty
to help me find another woman.
109
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:33,920
On second thoughts, though -
that'd serve her right.
110
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:39,460
She might be delighted. Hmm,
she might even smile. Give over!
111
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:44,840
I'm breaking her heart. Comes a
time when a man has to be rock hard.
112
00:09:50,462 --> 00:09:54,322
Are you sure
you want to disturb Nora Batty?
113
00:09:54,322 --> 00:09:59,742
Wouldn't it be wiser to drop her
a postcard? I've got a good reason!
114
00:09:59,742 --> 00:10:04,762
Hmm. And I've got a good reason
for staying well out of your way.
115
00:10:04,762 --> 00:10:07,162
She can't bite thee.
116
00:10:07,162 --> 00:10:10,602
Ah! Ruby Milburn did.
117
00:10:12,582 --> 00:10:15,482
When? Where did she bite thee?
118
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,342
Behind the bicycle shed.
119
00:10:18,342 --> 00:10:23,022
She claimed she had healing teeth.
She could cure warts.
120
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:26,442
A sort of pioneer of acupuncture?
121
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:29,442
Entirely self-taught.
122
00:10:29,442 --> 00:10:31,942
He's lying.
123
00:10:31,942 --> 00:10:35,042
Go and ring Nora's bell.
124
00:10:41,762 --> 00:10:44,262
I don't know what the fuss is about.
125
00:10:44,262 --> 00:10:46,582
Now, get away!
126
00:10:46,582 --> 00:10:49,262
That's what all the fuss is about.
127
00:10:49,262 --> 00:10:54,542
It's a deadly brush. Powerful
as the bite of Ruby Milburn.
128
00:10:54,542 --> 00:11:01,882
She always does that the first time,
but the second time she knows tha's serious and tha's not messing about.
129
00:11:04,002 --> 00:11:06,462
Keep away!
130
00:11:06,462 --> 00:11:11,922
The THIRD time she knows tha's
serious and tha's not messing about.
131
00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:19,642
Well, what do you want?
132
00:11:22,922 --> 00:11:25,622
Well? Speak up!
133
00:11:25,622 --> 00:11:29,002
Listen!
Who married Audrey Mottershaw?
134
00:11:29,002 --> 00:11:32,082
Mottershaw? Mottershaw?
135
00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:36,002
She was in your class.
Did she have a mucky neck?
136
00:11:36,002 --> 00:11:38,402
No, that was Ruby Milburn.
137
00:11:41,002 --> 00:11:43,242
That's the one!
138
00:11:43,242 --> 00:11:48,102
She was related to 'im who came by
with firewood. They were cousins.
139
00:11:48,102 --> 00:11:54,762
He 'ad family in 'Uddersfield.
He kept chickens. He had a lad with impetigo.
140
00:11:54,762 --> 00:11:59,802
He used to paint 'im purple and
he turned out brightest of the lot!
141
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:03,402
Now...who married Audrey Mottershaw?
142
00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:08,522
It was a Duffield
from Headley Terrace!
143
00:12:08,522 --> 00:12:11,222
Tha's a good lass, Nora!
144
00:12:11,222 --> 00:12:15,702
Where's Headley Terrace?
Oh, they pulled it down.
145
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:22,642
There she goes again!
Everywhere Audrey Mottershaw goes, she pulls it down.
146
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:28,782
At least
she didn't have a mucky neck. Fancy being bitten by a mucky neck.
147
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,562
She swore it wasn't contagious.
148
00:12:42,082 --> 00:12:43,862
Congratulations!
149
00:12:43,862 --> 00:12:47,222
Congratulations!
You with the dog!
150
00:12:47,222 --> 00:12:51,222
Excuse me?
Congratulations. You're a winner.
151
00:12:51,222 --> 00:12:53,542
A winner?
152
00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:56,582
Yes. Come inside.
Get your gift.
153
00:12:56,582 --> 00:13:00,022
Why me?
You're the hundredth person.
154
00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:03,462
Every hundredth person
who passes by wins a gift.
155
00:13:03,462 --> 00:13:08,302
How can you afford that?
Oh, everybody asks that.
156
00:13:08,302 --> 00:13:13,382
Let's say it gives me pleasure and
it's worth it for the advertising.
157
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:17,442
There's no advertising
like word of mouth.
158
00:13:17,442 --> 00:13:20,782
What size gift?
Come inside - have a look.
159
00:13:20,782 --> 00:13:24,242
What about the dog?
Oh, bring the dog!
160
00:13:26,082 --> 00:13:30,042
We're an
equal opportunities establishment.
161
00:13:35,662 --> 00:13:39,482
There's eight Duffields.
Write 'em down.
162
00:13:39,482 --> 00:13:42,102
What do you think I'm doing?
163
00:13:42,102 --> 00:13:45,582
Eight Duffields.
She must be one of them.
164
00:13:45,582 --> 00:13:52,422
Maybe you'll find one
you like better. I've got me mind set on an Audrey.
165
00:13:52,422 --> 00:13:58,242
Ah! What are we looking at? Hello,
Eli. Is it interesting? Dead boring.
166
00:13:58,242 --> 00:14:01,702
Well, there we are then.
Eight Duffields.
167
00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:06,922
Did tha write them all down? Calm
yourself, I wrote them all down.
168
00:14:14,682 --> 00:14:20,742
I wonder if she's changed.
It's to be hoped she's stopped kneeling on people.
169
00:14:20,742 --> 00:14:26,082
I hope you're going to change
before we go looking for her. I am.
170
00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,662
I'm going to smarten myself up.
171
00:14:28,662 --> 00:14:35,662
She'll not recognise you if you
smarten yourself up. I don't care. You have to make an effort.
172
00:14:35,662 --> 00:14:40,622
"You're a winner"! The wife'll go
mad when she knows what it cost!
173
00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:44,322
The old witch
even sold something to the dog!
174
00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:02,010
Come on, that man!
175
00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:04,410
I'm coming!
176
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:08,610
HE CLOMPS DOWN THE STAIRS
177
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:17,650
Oh! Ta-tee-ta-ta...
178
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,090
Ta-ta-ta-tee...
179
00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:24,290
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-tee.
180
00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:28,730
It's Yves St La Ferret.
181
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:33,810
You look ridiculous. The lapels
aren't bad. I like the lapels.
182
00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:36,670
It is the best of my wardrobe.
183
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:41,330
I don't know. Oh, we'll find you
something. Well, Clegg will.
184
00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:51,250
I can't wear Cleggy's old suit!
It's old-fashioned.
185
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:57,070
Oh, it's true. It was old-fashioned
when I got it. I like old-fashioned.
186
00:15:57,070 --> 00:15:59,670
It's smarter than what you've got.
187
00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:03,430
I can't go courting
feeling old-fashioned.
188
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,090
This is a big moment for me.
189
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:11,090
I've got to make a big
first impression. You usually do.
190
00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:19,150
Howard's about your size.
Howard's a midget.
191
00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:21,470
He's a big midget!
192
00:16:24,930 --> 00:16:27,450
What do you lot want?
193
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:30,870
It's funny you should say that,
Howard...
194
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:37,410
What chest is he?
195
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:41,470
Never mind going technical.
Find him an old suit.
196
00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:45,250
When he says old suit
he means SMART suit.
197
00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:51,570
You're getting very finicky
about whose suit you borrow.
198
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:54,430
It could be a big day for me, Norm.
199
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,790
For me and Audrey both.
200
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:59,170
Let's not get maudlin.
201
00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:04,790
There's only an old one
I used to wear in me wilder days.
202
00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:09,430
You had WILDER days, Howard?
203
00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:13,530
You know what it's like
to be young and fashionable.
204
00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:18,230
Fashionable sounds right, Howard.
We'll settle for that one, Howard.
205
00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:23,670
Fashionable?
Fashionable sounds good.
206
00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:27,170
Just be careful with it.
207
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:30,830
We'll take care of it, Howard.
208
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:34,810
It'll be under
my personal supervision.
209
00:17:42,450 --> 00:17:44,930
I like the style.
210
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:48,950
I'm glad something suits.
He's very picky.
211
00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:53,370
You feel rejected when somebody
turns down your suit.
212
00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:56,070
Especially somebody like him.
213
00:17:56,070 --> 00:18:00,590
Don't knock it. If anyone needs
to get more dressy, it's him.
214
00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:03,270
It's a bit tight.
215
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:06,310
Well, don't fasten the buttons.
216
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:11,610
That's reckless advice. I hope he
meant the jacket, not the trousers.
217
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:19,210
Don't fasten the buttons if it's
the jacket we're talking about.
218
00:18:25,650 --> 00:18:31,270
Ho-ho-ho! You really were WILD
in those days, Howard.
219
00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:34,050
DRUM ROLL
220
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:43,490
It's the old Bo Do-diddly-bo-bo.
221
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,330
I like the style, kid.
222
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:49,110
Yeah, fits like a glove.
223
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:51,930
Pity it doesn't fit like a suit.
224
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:54,990
Ye gods! Did I ever look like that?
225
00:18:54,990 --> 00:18:58,610
It's a bit of class, is this -
ba-da-ba-dooby.
226
00:18:58,610 --> 00:19:01,650
Boo, boo, bip, ba, boo-ba-dee
227
00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:04,550
Boo, boo-de-le, boo, be-boo-dee
228
00:19:04,550 --> 00:19:06,150
Boo, boo...
229
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:13,250
When did you go through a period
like this? I thought everybody did.
230
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,570
Not everybody, Howard.
231
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:24,330
A touch of the old Bo Diddley...
232
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:27,890
Mind me velvet collar!
233
00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:40,690
That'll be number 12.
234
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,990
Mind Howard's velvet collar!
235
00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:51,190
To tell the truth, I'm hot under
the collar myself - now it's close.
236
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:54,930
My Audrey could be behind that door.
237
00:19:55,970 --> 00:20:00,110
Well, go and find out.
I will! I will!
238
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:03,090
I'm going! I'm going.
239
00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:21,990
Now what? It's not the place.
240
00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:25,470
I got a gut feeling.
You're chickening out!
241
00:20:25,470 --> 00:20:29,110
You'll get used to chickening out.
I did.
242
00:20:29,110 --> 00:20:34,370
I can't go barging up
to the front door like the rent man
243
00:20:34,370 --> 00:20:37,110
just in case Audrey's there.
244
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,790
It's why you came. It's not fair.
245
00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:44,350
Presenting myself after
all these years without warning.
246
00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:48,570
I don't want to damage her
emotion-er-rally.
247
00:20:49,810 --> 00:20:51,870
Ye gods!
248
00:20:51,870 --> 00:20:54,410
He wants someone to go for him.
249
00:20:54,410 --> 00:20:57,830
You want me to see
if Audrey lives there!
250
00:20:57,830 --> 00:21:01,810
I knew tha were a good lad...
sometimes.
251
00:21:01,810 --> 00:21:04,250
All right, stay here...
252
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:07,250
and mind Howard's velvet collar.
253
00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:32,830
A-hem! Er...
254
00:21:32,830 --> 00:21:36,190
I'm looking for
the lady of the house.
255
00:21:46,970 --> 00:21:49,890
That's not my Audrey!
256
00:22:20,610 --> 00:22:25,170
What's he dressed up for?
He's heading for romance.
257
00:22:28,410 --> 00:22:34,650
He looks a bit shook up. Well,
er... He's heading FROM romance.
258
00:22:34,650 --> 00:22:37,670
Everything suddenly went black.
259
00:22:37,670 --> 00:22:40,230
With lace trimmings.
260
00:22:40,230 --> 00:22:44,850
Now, look Wesley,
we want a lift to that address.
261
00:22:46,610 --> 00:22:49,010
It's miles away!
262
00:22:49,010 --> 00:22:53,110
That is why we want the lift.
The answer's no!
263
00:22:53,110 --> 00:22:56,530
Hang on, Wesley.
It's the last on the list.
264
00:22:56,530 --> 00:23:00,650
We're looking for Audrey Duffield,
nee Mottershaw.
265
00:23:00,650 --> 00:23:04,690
Audrey Mottershaw?
Didn't she have a mucky neck?
266
00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:10,350
No, that was Ruby Milburn. She were
HIS bird. She had the mucky neck.
267
00:23:10,350 --> 00:23:12,790
Only at the back.
268
00:23:12,790 --> 00:23:14,910
Mottershaw?
269
00:23:14,910 --> 00:23:19,430
Didn't she used to kneel
on your chest? That's the one, yeah.
270
00:23:19,430 --> 00:23:21,970
Showed us all how to shave.
271
00:23:21,970 --> 00:23:28,150
What's he want to see her for?
Because... Well, we think he's going insane.
272
00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:31,230
I'm getting nowhere with Nora Batty.
273
00:23:31,230 --> 00:23:34,650
At least she doesn't kneel
on your chest.
274
00:23:34,650 --> 00:23:36,930
Isn't life wonderful, hmm?
275
00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:39,790
Even Nora Batty has her good points.
276
00:23:39,790 --> 00:23:42,570
I'll get the Landrover!
277
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:54,090
She was always heavy
with her pastry.
278
00:23:54,090 --> 00:23:57,450
That lodger
got too much attention.
279
00:23:57,450 --> 00:24:00,030
I never knew that!
280
00:24:00,030 --> 00:24:04,870
I should have known. When you
neglect pastry, it's a bad sign.
281
00:24:04,870 --> 00:24:09,170
Look where you're going, Mother!
No good comes of it.
282
00:24:09,170 --> 00:24:12,590
When passion's spent,
there's always pastry.
283
00:24:12,590 --> 00:24:17,390
What's the point of doing good
pastry? They go off, anyway!
284
00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:22,730
They come back
for decent pastry. MINE never went off!
285
00:24:22,730 --> 00:24:27,110
Ah, no! He had certain advantages
for not going off.
286
00:24:27,110 --> 00:24:29,770
You'd have killed him!
Mother!
287
00:24:37,990 --> 00:24:40,530
Does tha think she'll recognise me?
288
00:24:40,530 --> 00:24:45,170
No chance. I can't recognise you.
Don't get too excited.
289
00:24:45,170 --> 00:24:49,010
You've no room
for getting too excited.
290
00:24:49,010 --> 00:24:52,870
I mean, it may not be her
when we get there.
291
00:24:52,870 --> 00:24:55,830
It's the last Duffield.
292
00:25:07,490 --> 00:25:10,210
What are you doing with this lot?
293
00:25:10,210 --> 00:25:14,590
I'm dropping some stuff off
for Auntie Wainwright.
294
00:25:14,590 --> 00:25:19,490
Where do you think you're going?
YOU ride in the back.
295
00:25:19,490 --> 00:25:24,450
Why can't I ride in the front?
It's all greasy and oily in there.
296
00:25:27,550 --> 00:25:30,310
You see how he looks after you.
297
00:25:47,450 --> 00:25:51,750
The next right, Mother.
Are you sure? The next right!
298
00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:02,750
I meant the next ROAD
on the right, Mother!
299
00:26:02,750 --> 00:26:04,970
Now she tells me!
300
00:26:12,550 --> 00:26:15,190
I've had enough of this.
301
00:26:15,190 --> 00:26:17,470
I'm getting inside.
302
00:26:25,370 --> 00:26:29,610
Why is there never a man
when you want one?
303
00:26:29,610 --> 00:26:32,910
It's so rarely you need one.
304
00:26:32,910 --> 00:26:37,650
We don't need a man.
We just need a bit more shove.
305
00:26:37,650 --> 00:26:42,690
I never thought of you
as needing a bit more shove.
306
00:26:42,690 --> 00:26:45,570
Is it in the right gear, Mother?
307
00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:51,210
Don't ask me technical questions -
you'll have to ask your father!
308
00:27:09,550 --> 00:27:12,030
Ooh! Ow! Argh!
309
00:27:13,190 --> 00:27:16,430
BANGING AND THUMPING
Help! Help!
310
00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:21,030
Help!
311
00:27:21,030 --> 00:27:23,730
Let me out! Open the door!
312
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,530
Oh! Oh dear!
313
00:27:34,890 --> 00:27:37,990
Where the hell am I?
314
00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:41,970
Look at the state I'm in!
315
00:27:41,970 --> 00:27:46,990
Listen. Don't worry how you look.
It's the wrong Duffield.
316
00:27:46,990 --> 00:27:52,630
What? I've just been told. Audrey
Mottershaw that was went to Canada.
317
00:27:52,630 --> 00:27:59,530
Who says? She went to Canada.
If you'd asked me I could have told you she'd gone to Canada.
318
00:27:59,530 --> 00:28:05,330
Now she tells me!
What WAS he doing in a wardrobe?!
319
00:28:05,330 --> 00:28:09,930
Is he all right?
She cares! She cares!
320
00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:13,970
Tha better take care of me, kid.
321
00:28:13,970 --> 00:28:17,450
Tha nearly lost me
to Audrey Mottershaw.
322
00:28:53,890 --> 00:28:58,190
Subtitles by BBC - 1995
323
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:02,790
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