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1
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:07,460
Is it safe, he asked nervously?
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,640
We'll go on my signal.
3
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:13,200
Some people might
think that was dangerous.
4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,720
A signal?
What's dangerous about a signal?
5
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,600
I have dead cousin.
6
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,140
I'm sure we're all pleased
that you just thought of that.
7
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:25,000
He said danger good
for human spirit.
8
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,480
Oh, well, no wonder he's dead.
9
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,700
What's the worst that can happen?
10
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:32,500
Don't answer that.
11
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,880
All right, Alvin,
here we go. Chocks away.
12
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:39,760
THEY SHRIEK
13
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:26,620
I used to be able to swing
on a rope without getting stiff.
14
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,760
Secret is practise every day.
15
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,460
Don't like that secret.
What else you got?
16
00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:33,020
Don't do it again.
17
00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:34,080
That's more like it.
18
00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:38,740
Oh, dear! Both dead.
19
00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:41,040
Not dead, just faking.
20
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,400
I deny faking.
21
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,960
This feels like dead.
22
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,840
It's too painful for dead.
23
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,300
I think we're still alive.
24
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:55,760
Which is more than we deserve
for swinging on ropes at our age.
25
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,200
It gets worse.
I think we've got to stand up now.
26
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,960
Not me. I've given it up.
27
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:12,180
Tell him I'm out.
28
00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:13,960
Suppose he asks where?
29
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:17,000
Mexico.
30
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,940
Mexico?
31
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:23,480
What are you doing in Mexico?
32
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,120
Buying a big hat.
33
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,600
Tell him anything.
34
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,640
There's nothing like a bit
of vigorous exercise...
35
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,320
..for putting a person
against vigorous exercise.
36
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,860
People die while they're out jogging.
37
00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:45,600
At least they go in good condition.
38
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,840
Yeah, well, I suppose there's
always a bright side.
39
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:58,880
THEY GROAN
40
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,220
What the dickens
have you been doing now?
41
00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:04,480
Having fun.
42
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,240
It looks like it.
43
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,320
Have no fear, petal.
44
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:13,780
A quick cuppa and I shall return
in perfect physical condition.
45
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:17,480
I'm sure that'll be
a thrill for all of us.
46
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,320
In public, she feels obliged
to pretend she's not attracted to me.
47
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:25,460
Does good pretend.
I've never found any man attractive.
48
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:28,060
Give over! What about your husband?
49
00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:30,360
You don't pick husbands
for attractive.
50
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:34,120
You go for economy and reliability.
51
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:39,460
Makes you wonder what HE went for.
I heard that!
52
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,980
Maybe he went for safety.
53
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:46,360
Man sleeping with Nora
has little fear of intruders.
54
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,720
And man not sleeping with Nora
better keep his voice down.
55
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:58,240
Are you sure you haven't
broken anything?
56
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:02,500
If it affects our relationship
you'll be the first to know.
57
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,120
I only hope it's not TOO unpainful.
58
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,720
I'm glad I caught you in
this time, Barry.
59
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:51,600
It's such an unromantic age.
60
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,140
I mean, when was the last time
anyone kissed your hand?
61
00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:56,880
It must be ages,
62
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,300
and then it was a springer spaniel.
63
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,600
You see!
64
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,080
We live in a charm-free zone.
65
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,640
Everything's so rushed.
66
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:14,620
What's the legal position
if you knock people down in your own driveway?
67
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:16,800
Is your driveway big enough?
68
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,760
It's amazing what can
be done in confined spaces.
69
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:25,160
Well, the law books you'll
find in the Reference section.
70
00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:31,160
Has there been an accident?
71
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,640
I think he'll be all right.
72
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,640
PING!
73
00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:38,940
Actually, he must be very fit.
74
00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:41,260
You know, physique-wise.
75
00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:44,960
Sort of lonely but attractive.
76
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,920
OK, maybe not attractive
but dependable.
77
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,280
Good-hearted. Always there for you.
78
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,400
Ye Gods, is he ever always there!
79
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,920
We might as well face it -
80
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:05,840
as we get older,
some of the shine wears off.
81
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:12,380
I woke up this morning,
and Pearl was looking at me as if I was a stranger.
82
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:16,200
Relax, stranger.
Pour yourself some tea.
83
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,600
There was a time she used to look
at me as if I was king of the pack.
84
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,120
I was Mr Magic.
85
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:30,440
You could see it in her eyes.
86
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,360
Would that be both eyes
you're lying about or just one?
87
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,760
It's true!
88
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:42,220
We carved our names on a tree.
89
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:46,980
It's a good job
you were with Pearl then, and not somebody you couldn't spell.
90
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:49,780
Gwendoline could have been tricky.
91
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:51,260
Also need a big tree.
92
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,680
Rebecca. How many Cs?
93
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,280
I don't know a Rebecca.
94
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,100
Learn how to spell her.
95
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,860
You'll be ready when she comes.
96
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:09,260
I'm trying to have
a serious conversation.
97
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:11,420
Oh, didn't we tell you?
98
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:12,520
We've given them up.
99
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,480
He's got to go.
100
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,340
You knocked him down.
101
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:30,420
You're doing your best.
102
00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:32,180
He pops up anywhere.
103
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:34,060
He's becoming a nightmare.
104
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:36,140
He's lonely. He likes you.
105
00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:38,920
Even though you keep
running him over with the car.
106
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,920
He needs a woman.
107
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,640
She might not be any better
at reversing than you are.
108
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,540
He needs Miss Davenport.
109
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,240
Miss Davenport?!
110
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,760
She's lonely.
111
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,640
She needs a man.
112
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,200
He needs a woman.
113
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,200
They're made for each other.
114
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,900
I suddenly realised this
in the library.
115
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,280
Miss Davenport is the answer.
116
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,260
Do they even know each other?
117
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:09,760
It can be arranged.
118
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,120
I've got to do something
119
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,040
before he starts popping out
the plughole in the sink.
120
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:23,360
I used to stir her senses.
121
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:29,000
Now all I get to stir is the
paint when she starts decorating.
122
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,200
Maybe you should
stir paint together.
123
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,180
By moonlight.
124
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,660
A little background music.
125
00:08:37,660 --> 00:08:39,480
Violins are nice.
126
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,680
Are you two listening to me?
127
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,680
We're listening.
You've come to the right place.
128
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,940
He gives advice to ageing lovers.
129
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,480
What does HE know?
130
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:51,720
Got gift.
131
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,700
Entirely self-taught.
132
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,840
Although he had a little help
from a Mrs Allsop.
133
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,960
Hislop. Oh, sorry.
134
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,320
So, why do you think Pearl
has stopped seeing you as Mr Magic?
135
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,840
I've no idea.
136
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:10,080
It's not as if I haven't
kept myself in shape.
137
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:14,420
This is going to be more
difficult than we thought.
138
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:17,760
I must have walked
ten miles yesterday.
139
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,120
I hope Marina was there
when you finally got there.
140
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:25,280
I had no idea she was
planning to be out there.
141
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,420
Barry?
142
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:39,320
When they told me a gentleman
was waiting,
143
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,220
I thought it
might be...some other person.
144
00:09:42,220 --> 00:09:45,040
I AM some other person.
145
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,580
I've never felt more like
some other person.
146
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,180
What am I talking about?
147
00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:51,220
Two persons?
148
00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:53,200
I've developed a Siamese twin.
149
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,660
Well, I suppose if you need
someone to take him off your hands...
150
00:09:58,660 --> 00:09:59,960
Yes!
151
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:05,320
But right now I need
to know what ladies like about men.
152
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,180
Does it really have to be right now?
153
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:13,380
I could demonstrate more thoroughly
154
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,760
if we had a little privacy.
155
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,500
What kind of men
does Miss Davenport like?
156
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,420
Oh, Miss Davenport?
157
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,460
You're looking for
something more matronly.
158
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,240
She's quite particular.
159
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:30,240
They'd have to be
over 30 and under 75.
160
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,240
What does she find
particularly attractive?
161
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,560
Anything over 30 and under 75.
162
00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:39,600
Can you narrow that down a bit?
163
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,220
She loves anything romantic.
164
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:44,820
Romantic - that's it.
165
00:10:44,820 --> 00:10:46,820
I bet he can do romantic!
166
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,840
Who? Mr Chislehurst.
167
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,600
You've found a romantic
Mr Chislehurst for Miss Davenport?
168
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:57,200
He doesn't know it yet, but...yeah.
169
00:11:00,718 --> 00:11:03,518
You think that's it -
I've been too easy?
170
00:11:03,518 --> 00:11:04,738
Trust me.
171
00:11:04,738 --> 00:11:08,238
They all have this wish
to be dominated by their men.
172
00:11:08,238 --> 00:11:11,438
Goes back long way.
It's a caveman thing.
173
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,418
Well, she never said.
174
00:11:13,418 --> 00:11:15,438
She wants you to surprise her.
175
00:11:16,498 --> 00:11:18,658
What do you think, Alvin?
176
00:11:18,658 --> 00:11:20,878
They love surprises. Ask anybody.
177
00:11:23,238 --> 00:11:27,938
So go back in there, start slamming
a few doors and barking orders.
178
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,598
I will. I can do that.
179
00:11:32,978 --> 00:11:34,438
She had it coming.
180
00:11:39,138 --> 00:11:41,718
What kind of orders?
181
00:11:41,718 --> 00:11:44,018
Does she clean your shoes? No.
182
00:11:44,018 --> 00:11:47,378
Well, there's your trouble
right there. You've spoiled her.
183
00:11:47,378 --> 00:11:50,938
Tell her you want your shoes
bringing up to a high gloss.
184
00:11:50,938 --> 00:11:52,598
Do you think she will?
185
00:11:52,598 --> 00:11:56,358
Nature of women to do
little services for their men.
186
00:11:56,358 --> 00:11:58,318
As long as he's man enough.
187
00:12:32,858 --> 00:12:36,538
You going out, Barry?
I can call back later. No.
188
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,418
You're just the man I want to see.
189
00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:41,058
Get in. Thanks, Barry.
190
00:12:46,018 --> 00:12:48,238
You WILL thank me
before the day's out.
191
00:12:48,238 --> 00:12:50,838
I've got the answer
for your problem.
192
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:54,658
I didn't know I had a problem.
You're lonely, Mr Chislehurst.
193
00:12:54,658 --> 00:12:58,118
I was till I met you.
You need a woman.
194
00:12:59,138 --> 00:13:01,098
I'm not good with women.
195
00:13:01,098 --> 00:13:02,718
I'll guide you through.
196
00:13:07,258 --> 00:13:09,338
CLANGING
197
00:13:29,278 --> 00:13:30,898
Any more orders for me?
198
00:13:30,898 --> 00:13:32,058
No,
199
00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:34,918
that'll be all for the time being.
200
00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:40,518
DOOR SLAMS
201
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:09,818
What do you think?
202
00:14:09,818 --> 00:14:10,958
About what?
203
00:14:12,038 --> 00:14:15,038
Her - the lady, Miss Davenport.
What do you think?
204
00:14:17,198 --> 00:14:19,358
I'm sure she's very nice.
205
00:14:20,938 --> 00:14:22,518
You're not looking.
206
00:14:22,518 --> 00:14:24,038
Well, it's rude to stare.
207
00:14:26,058 --> 00:14:27,278
Open this book.
208
00:14:29,558 --> 00:14:32,758
Look at her while you're
pretending to read the book.
209
00:15:10,078 --> 00:15:13,498
It's not very warm.
Put it back on the engine.
210
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,938
I hate standing there
with the bonnet up.
211
00:15:15,938 --> 00:15:19,158
I know. You usually have ME
stood there with the bonnet up.
212
00:15:19,158 --> 00:15:21,498
People don't bother you.
213
00:15:21,498 --> 00:15:25,558
They think you're doing something
useful with the engine. That's me.
214
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,378
Master of disguise.
215
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:31,898
When I'm standing there,
they think I need help.
216
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,758
I've always said you need help.
217
00:15:35,318 --> 00:15:40,078
I get nosy beggars poking
their heads in and starting to tinker with the machinery.
218
00:15:40,078 --> 00:15:42,718
That's because you look so helpless.
219
00:15:42,718 --> 00:15:44,718
Don't knock it.
220
00:15:44,718 --> 00:15:48,918
It takes years of practice
to establish a reputation to be useless with repairs.
221
00:15:48,918 --> 00:15:51,078
Don't be so modest.
222
00:15:51,078 --> 00:15:52,898
You're more useless than that.
223
00:15:54,998 --> 00:15:56,738
You know you've cracked it
224
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,878
when the wife buys
her own tool set.
225
00:16:03,258 --> 00:16:04,998
Has he been mugged for his shoes?
226
00:16:06,278 --> 00:16:09,718
Didn't have a mobile phone
so they've nicked his shoes.
227
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:13,298
Don't ask. Just ignore him.
228
00:16:13,298 --> 00:16:16,118
I hate getting involved
with anything criminal.
229
00:16:16,118 --> 00:16:18,758
You meet such unpleasant people.
230
00:16:21,298 --> 00:16:22,678
HE YELPS
231
00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:39,718
You wanted artistic -
232
00:16:39,718 --> 00:16:42,918
there it is. That's marvellous.
233
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,018
You've transformed him.
234
00:16:45,018 --> 00:16:48,518
There's no librarian going
to be able to resist that.
235
00:16:48,518 --> 00:16:50,798
It's dark under this hat.
236
00:16:50,798 --> 00:16:52,558
That's not dark, lad.
237
00:16:52,558 --> 00:16:54,198
That's shadow.
238
00:16:54,198 --> 00:16:56,438
It lends you an air of mystery.
239
00:16:56,438 --> 00:16:58,098
Are you listening?
240
00:16:58,098 --> 00:17:01,858
Not only artistic,
but an air of mystery.
241
00:17:01,858 --> 00:17:04,178
Is that terrific or what?
242
00:17:04,178 --> 00:17:05,718
BELL RINGS
243
00:17:13,578 --> 00:17:15,878
I need some shoes.
244
00:17:15,878 --> 00:17:18,018
Of course you do.
245
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,478
How long's the circus been in town?
246
00:17:29,678 --> 00:17:32,458
What's he dressed up for?
247
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:35,538
He's dressed to impress a lady.
248
00:17:38,238 --> 00:17:40,798
And you think that's going to do it?
249
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,058
It's impressed me
250
00:17:42,058 --> 00:17:44,858
how much they've been prepared
to spend.
251
00:17:47,058 --> 00:17:50,038
The lady's artistic.
Of course it's going to do it.
252
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,178
Are you sure I need ALL this hat?
253
00:17:55,178 --> 00:17:57,558
It's like standing
under a patio brolly.
254
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:10,098
Must be in the office.
255
00:18:10,098 --> 00:18:12,818
She'll be out in a minute.
Do you know any poetry?
256
00:18:12,818 --> 00:18:16,178
No. I wouldn't have come
if I had to spout poetry.
257
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,438
Relax! Just try and LOOK
as if you like poetry.
258
00:18:19,438 --> 00:18:21,378
What kind of a look is that?
259
00:18:21,378 --> 00:18:22,878
Could you eat a raw lemon?
260
00:18:22,878 --> 00:18:25,418
Ugh. That's it. That's the look.
261
00:18:27,238 --> 00:18:29,598
When she comes, what do I say?
262
00:18:29,598 --> 00:18:31,918
Nothing. Just look artistic.
263
00:18:31,918 --> 00:18:33,418
Grab her attention.
264
00:18:33,418 --> 00:18:37,018
You haven't even noticed her. Your
head's that full of great poetry.
265
00:18:37,018 --> 00:18:38,578
Oh, and grab a book.
266
00:18:38,578 --> 00:18:41,998
Look as if you're thinking about
the direction of the modern novel
267
00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:44,178
while you're
de-structuring the text.
268
00:18:51,978 --> 00:18:54,558
You're looking very well,
Miss Davenport.
269
00:18:54,558 --> 00:18:56,798
Oh! Thank you, Barry.
270
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:01,158
(Who's your friend?)
Ah, noticed him, have you?
271
00:19:04,398 --> 00:19:05,518
The ladies do.
272
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,958
Well, I'm not surprised.
273
00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:10,958
He looks quite... Artistic?
274
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:14,638
Well, I was going to say quite odd.
275
00:19:14,638 --> 00:19:16,658
Is he all right?
276
00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:18,998
He's a bit poetic.
277
00:19:18,998 --> 00:19:21,018
You know what they're like.
278
00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:24,378
Not much muscle,
but beautiful minds.
279
00:19:24,378 --> 00:19:27,038
Always into the gentle,
romantic stuff.
280
00:19:27,038 --> 00:19:30,098
Oh! Really? Mm.
281
00:19:30,098 --> 00:19:31,518
What's he reading?
282
00:19:32,758 --> 00:19:34,698
What's the book, Mr Chislehurst?
283
00:19:35,798 --> 00:19:38,238
I Married A Cannibal.
284
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,218
Put your autograph
book away, Electric.
285
00:20:02,218 --> 00:20:05,518
It's not Orson Welles - it's Howard.
286
00:20:05,518 --> 00:20:07,358
Hughes?
No. It's our Howard.
287
00:20:07,358 --> 00:20:08,358
The muffin?
288
00:20:09,358 --> 00:20:12,278
Former muffin, by the looks of this.
289
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:14,258
You don't like it?
290
00:20:14,258 --> 00:20:17,078
We love it. Ah.
291
00:20:17,078 --> 00:20:20,818
I felt I had to make a few changes.
292
00:20:20,818 --> 00:20:23,638
You've cracked it.
This is big change.
293
00:20:23,638 --> 00:20:25,678
Very showbiz.
294
00:20:25,678 --> 00:20:28,878
It's not showbiz. It's artistic.
295
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:35,258
I want Pearl to see that there's
more to me than she thinks.
296
00:20:35,258 --> 00:20:39,498
Barry says looking artistic
works with the ladies.
297
00:20:39,498 --> 00:20:41,418
It needs more.
298
00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:43,178
It needs a lot more.
299
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,358
Is he artistic too?
300
00:20:53,358 --> 00:20:55,238
That's a yes.
301
00:20:55,238 --> 00:20:58,478
It's not enough. It needs more.
302
00:20:58,478 --> 00:21:01,618
We've just got nowhere
with Miss Davenport.
303
00:21:01,618 --> 00:21:05,318
Did you read her some poetry?
She likes that.
304
00:21:05,318 --> 00:21:08,278
He was reading I Married A Cannibal.
305
00:21:08,278 --> 00:21:10,318
It was just something I picked up.
306
00:21:11,698 --> 00:21:15,378
I don't think Pearl likes poetry.
307
00:21:15,378 --> 00:21:18,198
Not like poetry from
somebody dressed like you?
308
00:21:18,198 --> 00:21:20,398
Couldn't resist it. Knocks them dead.
309
00:21:20,398 --> 00:21:22,258
Turns them to jelly.
310
00:21:55,478 --> 00:21:57,598
Go on!
311
00:21:59,678 --> 00:22:01,158
Had we got world enough...
312
00:22:01,158 --> 00:22:03,138
SHE SHRIEKS
313
00:22:07,478 --> 00:22:09,718
..and time.
314
00:22:19,298 --> 00:22:22,358
Are you ready?
Can you feel the poetry coming?
315
00:22:22,358 --> 00:22:24,578
Will she hear me through the glass?
316
00:22:24,578 --> 00:22:26,798
She'll open the window
when you start.
317
00:22:26,798 --> 00:22:28,998
She'll wonder who it is in big hat.
318
00:22:28,998 --> 00:22:30,918
Big surprise when she sees you.
319
00:22:32,478 --> 00:22:34,418
Is the hat on straight?
320
00:22:34,418 --> 00:22:37,158
It's the kind of hat
that doesn't need straight.
321
00:22:37,158 --> 00:22:39,598
Go before she finishes window.
322
00:22:50,778 --> 00:22:54,598
"Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?
323
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:04,758
"Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?"
324
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:07,918
Go away now.
325
00:23:07,918 --> 00:23:10,198
Before I compare thee.
326
00:23:10,198 --> 00:23:12,078
Go now!
327
00:23:12,078 --> 00:23:15,158
It's me. Shut up and go away.
328
00:23:17,058 --> 00:23:20,278
"Shall I compare thee to
a summer's day...?" Shut up!
329
00:23:26,678 --> 00:23:28,998
Complete stranger to me.
330
00:23:41,638 --> 00:23:45,078
It wasn't bad for a first try.
331
00:23:45,078 --> 00:23:46,638
It was rubbish.
332
00:23:46,638 --> 00:23:48,278
But not BAD rubbish.
333
00:23:48,278 --> 00:23:50,318
It had seeds of bigger things.
334
00:23:50,318 --> 00:23:51,838
Bigger rubbish.
335
00:23:51,838 --> 00:23:52,918
Wrong!
336
00:23:52,918 --> 00:23:57,758
I remember saying to Electric
at the time, "This looks promising."
337
00:23:57,758 --> 00:24:00,118
Took words right out of my mouth.
338
00:24:01,358 --> 00:24:04,158
I knew Pearl wouldn't go for poetry.
339
00:24:04,158 --> 00:24:06,658
Forget poetry.
340
00:24:07,578 --> 00:24:10,258
We're going to hit them
with the ultimate weapon.
341
00:24:10,258 --> 00:24:14,458
Pay attention, Mr Chislehurst,
this could be a life-changing event.
342
00:24:14,458 --> 00:24:15,598
Guaranteed.
343
00:24:15,598 --> 00:24:17,518
What is it?
344
00:24:17,518 --> 00:24:19,638
I'm coming to that.
345
00:24:19,638 --> 00:24:21,998
Not very fast.
346
00:24:21,998 --> 00:24:24,398
Don't you start.
347
00:24:24,398 --> 00:24:27,298
First we must make sure
that these people understand
348
00:24:27,298 --> 00:24:30,658
the power over ladies
this will place in their hands.
349
00:24:30,658 --> 00:24:34,498
I want nothing to do with anyone
that might use this indiscriminately.
350
00:24:34,498 --> 00:24:40,118
Well, I think I can
speak for Mr Chislehurst when I say you can rely on us.
351
00:24:40,118 --> 00:24:43,478
I'll vouch for Mr Chislehurst.
352
00:24:43,478 --> 00:24:46,458
Thank you, Barry.
353
00:24:46,458 --> 00:24:48,778
I'm going to tell them.
354
00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:51,078
I think we're all glad about that.
355
00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:56,778
I came across this by accident,
surfing the Internet.
356
00:24:58,038 --> 00:25:00,838
You're a hacker?
Something like that.
357
00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:03,418
I wouldn't say hacker.
358
00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:07,358
It's more like keeping an eye on
what is really going on in the world.
359
00:25:07,358 --> 00:25:10,158
This stuff is secret?
360
00:25:10,158 --> 00:25:12,758
You've never heard of it, have you?
361
00:25:12,758 --> 00:25:14,518
We've none of us heard it yet.
362
00:25:14,518 --> 00:25:15,638
OK.
363
00:25:19,498 --> 00:25:23,458
It's been surveyed extensively
throughout the Western Hemisphere,
364
00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:26,938
and everybody keeps coming up
with the same result.
365
00:25:26,938 --> 00:25:29,218
The most powerful single weapon
366
00:25:29,218 --> 00:25:32,418
for attracting ladies
over a certain age is...
367
00:25:36,738 --> 00:25:39,778
What? What?!
368
00:25:41,558 --> 00:25:44,058
Maurice Chevalier impressions.
369
00:25:50,158 --> 00:25:52,838
It's the accent. The French accent.
370
00:25:52,838 --> 00:25:54,798
Turns them to jelly.
371
00:25:54,798 --> 00:25:57,478
You said that about poetry.
372
00:25:57,478 --> 00:25:59,278
This different flavour.
373
00:26:00,838 --> 00:26:03,578
Come on now. Hats at a cheeky angle.
374
00:26:03,578 --> 00:26:05,118
Both together.
375
00:26:05,118 --> 00:26:07,758
Bags of French accent.
376
00:26:07,758 --> 00:26:10,858
One, and two, and three.
377
00:26:10,858 --> 00:26:15,838
Mimi, you funny little
good-for-nothing Mimi...
378
00:26:19,178 --> 00:26:23,318
Mimi, you sunny little honey
of a Mimi
379
00:26:23,318 --> 00:26:26,218
I'm aiming high!
380
00:26:26,218 --> 00:26:30,478
Mimi, you've got me sad and dreamy
381
00:26:30,478 --> 00:26:34,298
You could free me, if you'd see me
382
00:26:34,298 --> 00:26:41,458
Mimi, you know I'd like to have
A little son of a Mimi by and by.
383
00:27:03,878 --> 00:27:05,678
She's round that corner.
384
00:27:10,458 --> 00:27:15,738
Mimi, you funny little
good-for-nothing Mimi...
385
00:27:23,598 --> 00:27:26,438
Was that you singing? No.
386
00:27:26,438 --> 00:27:29,118
No. It was him. Oh!
387
00:27:29,118 --> 00:27:31,418
I love the accent.
388
00:27:31,418 --> 00:27:34,338
It's not really me. It is.
389
00:27:34,338 --> 00:27:38,038
Underneath all that shyness,
it's really him. I just made it up.
390
00:27:38,038 --> 00:27:40,278
You can do it when you want.
391
00:27:40,278 --> 00:27:41,858
All the time.
392
00:27:41,858 --> 00:27:44,058
Anywhere. He's great.
393
00:27:44,058 --> 00:27:45,918
Well, yes.
394
00:27:45,918 --> 00:27:48,558
I can do it when I want.
395
00:27:48,558 --> 00:27:49,998
Do it for me.
396
00:27:51,598 --> 00:27:53,038
You heard the lady.
397
00:27:54,058 --> 00:27:55,438
Do it for her.
398
00:27:55,438 --> 00:27:58,838
One, two, three, four...
399
00:27:58,838 --> 00:28:04,438
Mimi, you funny little
good-for-nothing Mimi, am I...
400
00:28:46,178 --> 00:28:51,478
Every little breeze
seems to whisper Louise.
401
00:28:51,478 --> 00:28:54,318
Go to sleep, you daft beggar.
402
00:28:54,368 --> 00:28:58,918
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