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1
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,120
Hee-hee!
That's what I call a trolley!
2
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:10,480
Probably the finest trolley
in captivity.
3
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,280
That's because you made it.
4
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:19,360
That's because I'm encouraging you
to like it, because I've decided that YOU ought to road-test it.
5
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:25,640
Eh? If everybody's in love
with this trolley, how come I'M the one who's got to ride it?
6
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,840
You've got the legs for it.
I noticed instantly.
7
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,960
Come on, Smiler, it'll put
some sparkle back into your life.
8
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,640
What makes you think I haven't got
sparkle? Just a wild guess.
9
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:45,080
Sparkle - you need a jump start.
Be honest, you've lost your taste for simple pleasures.
10
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,600
What's simple
about risking your life in that?
11
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,600
There's almost no risk. Nearly.
12
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:56,600
Once, you'd have been thrilled
to bits to risk your life in this.
13
00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:02,040
It's time you recaptured
the thrill of things, rediscovered your childlike joy.
14
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:31,160
Have you never fancied something
small round the house? I've got one.
15
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,440
The trick is
KEEPING it round the house.
16
00:01:55,600 --> 00:02:01,360
What does he want
another knobbly stick for when he's got legs like that?
17
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,960
They're great legs.
18
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,400
They were a gift.
19
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,040
Not from anybody who loved you.
20
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,400
I'm a lover of tradition.
21
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,480
They used to carry these in the
old days...for personal protection.
22
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,080
Must have been awkward
in a shoulder-holster.
23
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:23,140
I've nearly finished this one.
I can soon do one each for you two.
24
00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:27,160
I don't see anything ever replacing
the truncheon in my affections.
25
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,280
You'll never get a better offer.
Hmm.
26
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:35,200
The question that springs to mind,
Billy, is what would we want one for?
27
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:40,520
Well, then, we'd all have one.
Yes, yes, I can follow it THAT far,
28
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,720
but, er, what would we do with them?
29
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,840
Well, we could practise
self-defence... Quarterstaff skills.
30
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,760
He means
hitting each other with sticks.
31
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:59,960
No, no, I don't think so, Billy.
I don't think I shall ever be fond of being hit with a stick.
32
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:03,640
You'd be surprised
what you learn in the vice squad.
33
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:07,560
You use the staff to STOP yourself
being hit with a stick.
34
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:13,400
But it's even simpler
if nobody is hitting you with a stick in the first place.
35
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,920
You've no sense of adventure.
36
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:22,320
You say that to me, who once asked
for change on a pay-as-you-enter bus! You didn't!
37
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:27,700
What happened? I began to question
the whole idea of progress.
38
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:37,360
I've heard she's going to Australia.
Oh, Australia! That's going to cost her a pretty penny.
39
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,000
Oh!
40
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,560
Oh!
41
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,920
Oh-h...
42
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,240
What's he doing?
A bit of bad acting.
43
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,240
He's working up to trying
some excuse for going out. Oh.
44
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,600
Oh!
45
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,360
Oh, oh... Oh!
46
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:04,440
He's really quite good
at bad acting.
47
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:08,120
It's his style.
Howard never underplays.
48
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,040
After a build-up like that,
I can't wait to hear his excuse.
49
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:16,000
It's usually a lulu. A typical
Howard mixture of devious and daft.
50
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:22,200
Oh, he must provide you with hours
of amusement. Began on our honeymoon and we've never looked back.
51
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,400
Oh, oh, dear...
52
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:31,520
This library book -
I thought I'd find it interesting.
53
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,920
Actually, it's very boring.
54
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:38,000
I think I might go out
and change my library book.
55
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,320
Off you go, then.
56
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:52,080
You don't mind if I go out alone
to change this library book?
57
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:58,600
I don't mind. I mean, far be it from
me to stand between you and some literary experience. Heaven forbid!
58
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:03,000
Even if it is some old volume
that's worn at the edges.
59
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,160
You may as well go out,
cos Roz and I are going out.
60
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:13,120
To where?
Oh, we don't think it's wise to disclose the exact whereabouts.
61
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:19,160
That strikes me as a bit underhand.
Oh, no, a LOT underhand would be closer.
62
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:23,720
I demand to know what you're up to.
We don't think you're ready for it.
63
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:27,680
No, the least said, the better.
You know how people talk.
64
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:31,800
I demand to know what there is
to talk about. We're working on it.
65
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:37,960
But what do YOU care?
You'll be off looking for romance and adventure at the library.
66
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:49,720
Fits him like a shroud. Like a glove.
I mean, like a glove. Why did I say "shroud"?
67
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,520
Suppose it crashes.
She'll take a few knocks, will this.
68
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,320
What about ME?!
69
00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:02,160
You can't expect me to guarantee
the workmanship in YOU. Be fair.
70
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:06,600
You are the wizard of the handcart.
Why should it crash?
71
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:13,120
You've got steering control.
Just don't hit anything. That's the best idea - just don't hit anything.
72
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:20,200
How long do you think I'm going to
have to do this kind of thing before I rediscover a childish sense of joy?
73
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:24,260
It shouldn't take long. We don't
anticipate any problem there.
74
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:27,680
No. One ride
and you'll probably be hooked.
75
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,880
Yeah, on a tree.
76
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,560
To the right... Right, now left.
77
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,400
It looks pretty steep.
78
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:43,080
You need a slope to get
the thrill of the thing.
79
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,800
Can we start with a smaller thrill?
80
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,720
Remember what we agreed -
just don't hit anything.
81
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:54,080
You keep saying that.
It's good advice. Are you ready?
82
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,280
Not really.
83
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,160
That's close enough.
Off you go.
84
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,320
It's going well. I think
he's feeling the thrill already.
85
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,160
Where's the brake?!
86
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,760
BOTH: Just don't hit anything!
87
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,960
You see?
88
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,640
Oof! That's the lunge!
89
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,080
Agh! And that's the parry.
90
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:30,080
Oh, Lunge and Parry. I caught
their act once at the old Empire(!)
91
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:35,639
It's all right you two
taking the wee-wee. I'm trying to revitalise an ancient craft here.
92
00:07:35,639 --> 00:07:42,680
I still think we should all have
one. We'd be very popular on buses.
93
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:46,720
They're not for going on buses.
This is your pedestrian weapon.
94
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:50,220
In the right hands,
you can stop anybody with this.
95
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,280
Was that Smiler? I believe it was.
96
00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,040
Morning, Smiler!
97
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:07,760
I thought you could stop anything
with that. Came at me unawares, didn't he?
98
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,640
I'll be ready next time.
99
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,520
Have you seen...?
100
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,960
Smiler always looks as though
he's ready for an accident -
101
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,320
I think it's probably arrived.
102
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:33,960
Well, what do you expect
when some idiot of HIS age goes racing on a trolley?
103
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,480
Well, don't ask me.
I believe in happy endings.
104
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:42,840
Me too. I'm a romantic.
I'm very tall for a romantic, but I'm dedicated.
105
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,039
I'm surrounded by civilian sweeties.
106
00:08:46,039 --> 00:08:51,720
Just when you could do
with a lift, there's nobody coming.
107
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:57,480
For three of us?!
How do you figure that out?
108
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:02,880
I told you this pole
would come in handy. A man's best friend is his quarterstaff.
109
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:22,480
How's your best friend, Billy?
Bit too close at the minute.
110
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,000
Usually, all you get on a pole
is a parrot.
111
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,000
Who's a pretty boy, then?
112
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:34,480
I hope she doesn't mind
getting involved with us, this young lady...whoever she is.
113
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:39,080
My one fear is that
we'll all end up in a tangled heap.
114
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:11,440
You did well, me old Smiler.
If you have to go through something, better a hedge than a wall.
115
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,640
How's the trolley?
116
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,640
Never mind the trolley! Get me out!
117
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,520
Aargh!
118
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,840
This is no good.
Let's try the other side.
119
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,840
Why didn't you come through the gate?
120
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:43,080
There's a gate two yards away.
I was aiming for the gate.
121
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,760
Argh! Argh!
122
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,480
We're going to need some help.
123
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:11,000
Oh! Oh! Go steady! Go steady!
Stop moaning! You're coming.
124
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,600
But my trousers aren't!
We'll worry about those later.
125
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:33,640
Oh, you're looking better already.
Isn't he looking better already? One adventure and he's looking better!
126
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:37,880
I don't feel better.
He's looking different...
127
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:43,240
I'll get the trolley,
you get your trousers on. I can't go out in the road like this.
128
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,840
Not only a fearless racer,
but modest with it.
129
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,280
It's the police!
130
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:11,080
Alien abduction -
I saw it on the telly.
131
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:15,920
They can suck you out of your boots.
There's not a trace left of him.
132
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,600
What kind of creature
could empty a body like that?
133
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,720
I don't know, but I hope
it's not lurking behind that hedge.
134
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:29,240
If it IS aliens,
you do realise it's down to us to defend our earthly civilisation.
135
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,880
We're supposed to be off at two.
136
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,240
Who's on after us?
137
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,880
Er, WPC Lomax.
138
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:42,200
That's good. Lomax is good. Aye,
let HER save earthly civilisation.
139
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,440
On the other hand,
140
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:48,480
we're trained for this type
of emergency. What do you think?
141
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,400
I think I wish
we'd have gone the other road home.
142
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:56,200
You're right -
we HAVE gone the other road home.
143
00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:01,640
I'm going to turn round now
and go home by the other road. I'm not getting involved in this.
144
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,400
The brakes! Howard, the brakes!
BRAKES SCREECH
145
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:22,400
Can't anybody stop this? Go on,
try the brakes, try the brakes!
146
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,280
See? THEY could hit the gate.
Why couldn't YOU hit the gate?
147
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,960
Come on.
148
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,340
Wait for me!
149
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,359
Now what?
150
00:13:59,359 --> 00:14:05,240
Do you think maybe
we should have done more? We should.
151
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:10,080
Why aren't you arguing with me?
Any other time, you'd be arguing.
152
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:14,040
I think you're right.
We should have done more.
153
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:18,000
Even if it IS still lurking
behind that hedge.
154
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,960
You keep bringing that up.
It's for your own safety.
155
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,240
I'LL be all right.
156
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,840
I'm going to stay in the car.
157
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,760
We're BOTH going to look. Duty calls.
158
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,760
It'll have to speak up - I'm deaf.
159
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:37,600
Come on. It's down to us -
boys in blue - that's what we're for.
160
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:42,040
I told the wife I wouldn't be late.
You've lied to her before.
161
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,400
The lady can dry off in the cab -
there's a heater.
162
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,760
Rest of you can wave your trousers
in the slipstream. They'll soon dry.
163
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,360
That's something
I've always wanted to do -
164
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,540
ride in the back of a Land Rover,
wearing no trousers.
165
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:16,400
Can't be worse than going through
a hedge without your trousers. You won't let it die!
166
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:22,200
Do you think I ought to ride
with the lady in the cab? ALL: No.
167
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,080
What about the bikes?
168
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,640
When we get our trousers off,
we'll go in and get them.
169
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,800
I'm not going back in there again.
170
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,320
Suppose there are alligators lurking.
171
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,520
In Yorkshire?!
172
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:46,320
People buy them as pets,
then when they're too big, they let them loose in the nearest pond.
173
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,760
Alligators in Yorkshire!
174
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,640
It was here.
Well, it's not there now.
175
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,300
You know what that means.
176
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,920
Somebody's moved the remains.
177
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,720
You seem a bit over-tense today.
178
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,200
Is your wife still learning Spanish?
179
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,800
You live with them,
you think you know them...
180
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,320
I've had paella three times
this week.
181
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,440
Well, it's all right, is paella.
182
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,720
For breakfast?
183
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,240
Here, look at this.
184
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:47,319
The aliens came by trolley. I don't
think there ever was an alien. Well, that's that, then.
185
00:16:47,319 --> 00:16:51,360
We've cleared that up. It gives you
186
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:55,520
There's nothing like the satisfaction
from a bit of decent police work.
187
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:01,920
I've never been on one of these
for years.
188
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,360
Hey, it's a good trolleying area,
is this.
189
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:19,360
The police coming by trolley?!
Those budget cuts are really beginning to bite.
190
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:21,720
Can they arrest you for no trousers?
191
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,800
With pants like yours, you could be
charged with reckless overdressing.
192
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,160
What are we doing in a field?
193
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:15,760
Oh, that's not a question
I've had to ask for a long time, incidentally!
194
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:20,080
Didn't you see it? The police car -
it's just waiting there.
195
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:24,760
So why are we waiting HERE? I'm not
getting involved with the police.
196
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,320
They get very rude
about my driving.
197
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,480
Oh, there's a surprise(!)
198
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:33,480
I didn't see any policemen. They say
you never do when you want one.
199
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,920
Who wants one? Speak for yourself.
200
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,120
Only joking...
201
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,760
although there was a time...
202
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,520
Before I met Syd,
I once went out with a policeman.
203
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:50,880
Didn't care
WHERE he left his fingerprints. Oh, I think I knew that one!
204
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,520
When my Barry was eight,
he wanted to be a policeman.
205
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:58,520
Well, I'm sure we're all thrilled
to hear that(!)
206
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,960
I sometimes wonder what my Howard'll
want to be when HE gets to eight.
207
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:25,800
I ought to rescue that young lady
from the sight of those naked policemen.
208
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,480
Not exactly undercover, are they?
209
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:32,120
I reckon the ones
in most danger are the policemen!
210
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,920
Ah, we'll walk back,
drying our trousers in the breeze.
211
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,720
Are you coming, Howard,
with trousers or otherwise?
212
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,660
I'll get a lift back
in Wesley's Land Rover.
213
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:49,600
It looks like
I'll just have to ride in the cab. What if Pearl catches you?
214
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,200
Here! You'd better put these on.
215
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,860
What is it? It's an old pair
of overalls I keep for emergencies.
216
00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:02,660
Travelling with Marina
counts as an emergency.
217
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,040
Makes strong men tremble.
218
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:12,840
They're filthy.
At least they're DRY and filthy.
219
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:18,320
Like alternative humour. You'll be
wearing alternative overalls, Howard.
220
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,160
But will they suit me?
221
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,760
A person likes to remain attractive
when travelling with young ladies.
222
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,120
They'll be able to exchange
fashion notes.
223
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:38,120
He's got worse knees than me.
Yeah, but his are nearer the ground - they don't offend the eye like yours.
224
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:44,240
Have you ever considered a knee
transplant, Billy? But suppose I got one that was faster than the other.
225
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:54,920
I don't believe
there's any policeman there. It's far too quiet for a man about.
226
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,839
They'll be hiding.
As soon as we move, they'll pounce.
227
00:20:58,839 --> 00:21:02,880
Maybe we should scream or something.
228
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:08,960
Oh, I can't be bothered.
You get to this age, there's not much worth screaming about. True.
229
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,080
Sad, but true.
230
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:15,040
This is slower than making
conversation with your husband.
231
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,680
Yes, they've not got much to say.
232
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,760
That you can believe, anyway.
233
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:25,240
You can believe what my Barry says.
My Barry's truthful.
234
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,320
Oh, really? How do you know
what he's up to right now?
235
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,680
He's gone meditating.
He's improving the power of his will.
236
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:39,720
It could help him managerial-wise,
if he becomes notorious for the power of his will.
237
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:45,480
There's only room for one will in
a marriage, and that's the woman's. Ask your father.
238
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:50,240
It's no good asking me father -
he'd only have to come and ask you.
239
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:58,640
Well, I can't see any policemen.
And unless somebody's brought some sandwiches, I suggest...
240
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,880
Get in the car.
241
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,420
GEARS CRUNCH
242
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,680
I believe I'm nearly dry.
243
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:15,620
I know I am. Oh, I could murder
a pint. Now you mention it...
244
00:22:15,620 --> 00:22:21,440
Make a change to be damp INSIDE.
Well, that makes it unanimous. First decent pub, then.
245
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,800
Or even half-decent. Excuse me!
246
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,720
I thought I heard a voice.
247
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:32,000
You did. It were a voice.
It said "excuse me".
248
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,180
I don't like it. Well, what's
not to like about "excuse me"?
249
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:42,040
YOU may be happy with mystery voices,
but it sounded sinister to me.
250
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:46,040
I'm sorry if it's any trouble
but, er, could somebody, er...?
251
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:51,040
It doesn't sound sinister. Sounds
like a pussycat. Just checking.
252
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:57,000
Using instincts honed
by generations of ancestors lurking in the greenwood,
253
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,720
I'd say it's coming from
in that barn. There, now.
254
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,200
Oh, Mr Hardcastle!
255
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,920
Ey-up, Barry lad!
256
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:14,000
What's tha doing
with your legs in both directions?
257
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:19,720
I'm sorry to be a nuisance,
Mr Hardcastle, but I seem to be stuck in the lotus position.
258
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,640
I told you it could be sinister.
259
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,480
It's not comfy, I can tell you that.
260
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,920
What does he mean, a lotus position?
261
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,400
It means
he's got his legs in a knot.
262
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:38,280
Oh, I bet that's nasty. Say what
you like about Christianity, it only requires the kneeling position.
263
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:42,400
It's meant to improve your strength
of will. I've been practising yoga.
264
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,280
You have to do it somewhere quiet,
else you feel such a fool.
265
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,640
I'm the same, lad,
when I'm repairing me tights.
266
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,400
Do you think I'll ever walk again?
267
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,240
Badly.
268
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,240
I think we've all walked far enough.
269
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:04,800
If we give you a lift to your car,
you can give us a lift to the pub.
270
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,800
All together, lads.
271
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,520
Do they think Robin Hood
never mended his own tights?
272
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,800
Are you in a reef knot, Barry?
They're supposed to be very reliable.
273
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,720
Everything's gone dead. Enjoy it
while you can - that's the easy bit.
274
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:54,280
What's he grinning at me like that
for? He's pleased to see you. My Barry often gets quite excited.
275
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,760
Fasten your seat belt!
276
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,840
I thought you went out on a bike.
277
00:25:02,140 --> 00:25:04,880
We're just giving him a lift.
278
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,640
That's a lady's bicycle.
279
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,160
Whoops!
280
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:17,000
I think I've just rediscovered
a sense of childlike pleasure!
281
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,960
So how come
you've got a lady's bicycle?
282
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,960
Well, you see...
My fault.
283
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,560
Wrong bicycle. That one's Smiler's.
284
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,740
THIS one's Howard's.
285
00:25:28,740 --> 00:25:31,540
Smiler rides a lady's bicycle?
286
00:25:31,540 --> 00:25:33,600
Since the accident.
287
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,080
Oh, well. That's a relief.
288
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:41,200
It saves him lifting his leg
over the crossbar.
289
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:45,600
It's agony lifting your leg
over the crossbar.
290
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,360
With all that leg, he should know.
291
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:51,960
Why is my lie detector
still clicking?
292
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:09,160
To think that I couldn't wait to be
a grown-up and start having fun.
293
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,559
How's it going, Barry? I think
the left one's getting better.
294
00:26:16,559 --> 00:26:22,560
Are there reputed to be any benefits
if you don't mind my asking?
295
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:27,000
It's supposed to put you in touch
with your inner self.
296
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:31,040
And what's this "inner self",
when it's at home? Pain, mostly.
297
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,360
Try your legs now, Barry.
298
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:37,080
See if you can deploy them
in an orderly fashion.
299
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,880
I can walk! I can walk!
300
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,840
It can't be all that difficult
doing the lotus position.
301
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:57,600
I was once handcuffed
to a fairground contortionist with learning difficulties.
302
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,400
I dare say I could tackle
the lotus position.
303
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:05,300
POLICE RADIO:
'There are cows all over the road.'
304
00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:07,840
Duty calls. That's why we're here.
305
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,200
LAUGHING AND GIGGLING
306
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,960
I told you it was difficult.
307
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:52,640
That's my Barry. Why is he walking
like that? I don't know.
308
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,520
It's a quite unusual configuration.
309
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,440
Don't lie to me. I knew I should
never have let you go to France.
310
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,920
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
311
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:42,440
But, Pearl, love, why should you
think I've been with some woman?
312
00:28:42,490 --> 00:28:47,040
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