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1
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:09,820
I wish somebody would find the
wife's sister attractive and set up home with her in a far distant land.
2
00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:12,380
Liverpool? Farther than that.
3
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:18,040
Very close, are they,
your wife and her sister? It's not only a blood relationship.
4
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,700
They're joined even closer
by a common bond.
5
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,060
Suspicion of me. I see.
6
00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:29,480
The blood in the relationship
is usually yours. Attractive, is she, your wife's sister?
7
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,940
Well, the wife's more appealing.
8
00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:36,800
And that's not something I can often
brag about. I had one of those.
9
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:42,480
What are you looking for?
I think I'm being followed.
10
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:48,740
By your wife and her sister?
No, they're happy at home sticking pins into models of me.
11
00:00:48,740 --> 00:00:52,780
What have you been up to?
Me? Nothing.
12
00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:56,960
Don't lie to me, lad.
Why do you think I'm lying?
13
00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:02,320
I don't think you're lying.
It's just something we get used to saying in the police force.
14
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,800
Now, what have you been lying about?
15
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:53,280
Good morning, Howard.
I'm glad you think so.
16
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:58,780
You could easily be mistaken
for somebody looking miserable this morning, Howard.
17
00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:03,240
Cleggy, do you think
love should be difficult?
18
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,780
Hah! Well, I always found it so.
19
00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:10,220
I never knew what to wear.
I consulted a text book,
20
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:15,560
but there was no guidance on whether
vests should be worn on honeymoon.
21
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:24,020
I'm depressed.
We have to admire the way you're bravely trying to hide it.
22
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,640
I think Pearl's stopped loving me.
23
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:32,920
Are we talking about Pearl
next door? Your wife, for example?
24
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,120
Of course that's who
we're talking about.
25
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:42,100
Has she said something?
She doesn't have to say anything. I'm picking up signals.
26
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,380
I've had to clean my own shoes
all week.
27
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:51,820
And then this morning at breakfast
she gave me only ONE fried tomato.
28
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:56,180
She might as well have thrust
a dagger through me.
29
00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:59,020
You mean, the bacon was there?
30
00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:04,080
The fried potatoes were there? The
beans were there, the egg was there?
31
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,720
It was just the one fried tomato?
32
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,300
I've always had TWO fried tomatoes.
33
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:15,060
You're not telling me
that she's not telling me something.
34
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:21,100
She's been telling you something
for 40 years. I hear it through the walls. That's just being married.
35
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,380
This is serious.
36
00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:26,180
It's not just the missing tomato.
37
00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:29,740
There's...the OTHER thing.
38
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,580
I can tell you in confidence,
Cleggy.
39
00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:38,140
She always used to warm my pyjamas.
40
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:44,820
Every night in the airing cupboard.
Stop right there, Howard. I don't want any more details.
41
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:48,740
I think she's gone off me.
Have you asked her?
42
00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:51,920
You can't ask people
personal questions.
43
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,340
Not when you're married.
44
00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:59,120
I can't suddenly start asking her
if she still loves me.
45
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:03,760
She'd think I was up to something.
And that's another thing.
46
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,000
I'm not sure that...(Marina)
47
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,420
is always faithful to me.
48
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:17,140
I think, if some millionaire
came along with a flash car, she'd be off.
49
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,840
You're right to be depressed, Howard.
50
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:26,480
You're right, yes.
Wife AND girlfriend giving trouble. Mm, mm, mm!
51
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,960
Get a budgie, Howard.
52
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:34,600
Get something
you can lavish your affection on and still get your pyjamas warmed.
53
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,420
A budgie?!
54
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:50,080
Oh, Barry, you've got
that faraway look in your eye. I know what dreamers you men are.
55
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:56,500
Tell me you're not going
to sail across the Atlantic in an open boat or something.
56
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,840
I'm not.
My blazer's at the cleaners.
57
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,180
And, anyway, I get seasick.
58
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:07,320
Promise me
you'll always get seasick.
59
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:13,780
I can't be doing
with anything that shakes you about. Your mother's driving, for instance.
60
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:18,740
Stay at home with me, Barry.
You'll be safe on stormy nights.
61
00:05:18,740 --> 00:05:23,880
I will stay at home with you. I've
got no intention of going anywhere.
62
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:30,060
Then, what were you thinking about -
with that "thirsting for new experience" look in your eyes?
63
00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:34,080
The firm's dance.
I've decided, Glenda.
64
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,240
This year I'm going...black tie.
65
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:45,820
Oh, Barry! I'll have to buy
a long dress. Get one. This year, we're going in style.
66
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,020
If you see a small, dark cloud,
67
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,620
it's probably Howard.
Howard is depressed.
68
00:05:56,620 --> 00:06:03,400
He gets himself into situations
where he deserves to be depressed. Why is he depressed?
69
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,740
He thinks Pearl doesn't
love him any more. Sounds reasonable.
70
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:12,320
What's he keep stopping for?
He thinks he's being followed.
71
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:17,800
It's not the Queen's enemies
or the Sheriff of Nottingham(?) This is real.
72
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:22,120
What have you been up to, Billy?
First thing I enquired.
73
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:27,360
Just because you think you're being
followed, everybody thinks you're up to something.
74
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,900
He IS being followed.
75
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:35,680
This nose didn't descend from Robin
Hood for nothing. You don't think it is the Sheriff of Nottingham?
76
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:44,680
Do you know this fellow
who's following? It's Mervyn. He's harmless.
77
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:49,480
He's a big fan.
Well, give us a hint. Who's he a fan of?
78
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:54,800
Me. On account of me being
a direct descendant of Robin Hood. What does he want?
79
00:06:54,800 --> 00:07:01,180
He just wants to be close to me.
What kind of rubbish have you been filling his head with?
80
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:07,180
I can't remember exactly. You know
how it is when you've had a few. Oh! REAL rubbish.
81
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,160
Like a challenge, do we?
82
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:22,000
We'll sell anything with big
commission. Getting a big commission here IS a challenge!
83
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:27,960
Now, it has to be understood,
if you don't sell them I want them back in identical good condition.
84
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:33,460
My transport manager here
accepts full responsibility for goods placed under our care.
85
00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:38,080
How come it's MY responsibility?
Because you're ready for it.
86
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:43,640
I'm training you for when we move up
into executive circles. I bet I'm still pushing the handcart.
87
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:49,620
Now, you have to understand
some of these items are of great sentimental value.
88
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:53,060
You needn't look like that.
It's true.
89
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:57,720
When they've been unsold for so
long, I worry about them at nights.
90
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,800
They're in safe hands.
He's never lost a thing.
91
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:07,000
His wife left him.
Ah, yes. Well, I am training him how to handle the ladies better too.
92
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,380
My word, you do like a challenge.
Are you having any luck?
93
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:18,520
He's coming on. Next thing you know,
he'll be a right old smoothie. ..Give her the demonstration.
94
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,700
What, now?
95
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,180
Go on! Sweep her off her feet.
96
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,160
Enchanted to make your acquaintance.
97
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,980
LOUD SQUEAKING
98
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,600
That reminds me. I must get
a new plunger for my bathroom sink.
99
00:08:56,460 --> 00:09:01,100
Have you been invaded zoologically?
What are you fidgeting for?
100
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:05,020
This ground's harder
than it usually is.
101
00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:10,040
Do you think Yorkshire's harder
on Tuesday? Well, THIS bit is.
102
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:14,880
Actually, it's not so much
the ground, it's him.
103
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,340
He's harmless.
Are you sure?
104
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:29,820
As far as I can remember. I mean,
look at him. He looks harmless.
105
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:33,080
They said that
about the Fulham Flogger.
106
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:39,100
Well, why is he staring at us
like some person who is carrying a concealed hatchet?
107
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:46,300
He's not
your hatchet sort of person. He's a fan of mine, I told you.
108
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:49,400
Gives you some indication
of his state of mind.
109
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:55,320
Where did you meet Mervyn
and his hatchet? We were in the pub. You know how it is, you get talking.
110
00:09:55,320 --> 00:10:02,000
We know how YOU get talking. What did
you tell him? Well, I may have got carried away a bit. I'd had a few.
111
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:07,240
Oh, that's a surprise(!) I suppose
I might have exaggerated a bit.
112
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,460
It has been known. Exaggerated what?
113
00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:13,320
Things. Tha' knows.
114
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,320
About our gang. Our gang?!
115
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,080
Robin Hood's gang. The Merry Men.
116
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,400
Go on. Well...
117
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:28,240
it's possible I left him
with the impression that we are the last survivors of The Merry Men.
118
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,700
We? When you say "we"...?
119
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:36,400
Well, I didn't overdo it. I told
him there's only the three of us.
120
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,320
How do, Barry?
121
00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:01,760
Buying a new suit? Well, not exactly
a suit, Mr Hardcastle. Just something for a special occasion.
122
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,700
I never had a special occasion.
123
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:10,280
You got married, didn't you?
Oh, was that it? What special occasion, Barry?
124
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,040
Not that we intend to be nosey.
125
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,040
The firm's annual dance.
That's all.
126
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,140
Oh, I expect they have
one every year.
127
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:23,020
Yes, they do.
Normally, I just go in a suit.
128
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:30,240
Actually, it's a dress suit. Well,
dinner jacket. I thought, "Go on, your granny would have been proud."
129
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:35,300
Does Glenda know?
Yes. I thought she'd be one of the few to know.
130
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:38,920
I didn't realise it would
attract all this attention.
131
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,460
Your secret is safe with us, Barry.
132
00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:45,920
Tha' can rely on the integrity
of the last three survivors...
133
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,740
Why is that person watching?
134
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:53,860
Probably heard
about the dinner jacket.
135
00:11:57,740 --> 00:12:02,180
It's time we had a talk.
About what? About us.
136
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,460
Us us? You and me?
137
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:10,420
Well, yes,
that's a fair description of us.
138
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,240
Well, go on, then, talk.
139
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:18,980
I can't wait. Well, it's not easy
out here in the street.
140
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:23,800
I wanted to talk to you at home.
But you insisted on going shopping.
141
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:30,880
I have to go shopping. I've no sooner
got stuff in the house than you've eaten it. It's like keeping a pony.
142
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:37,140
Well, that's where we are, you see.
You prefer going shopping to talking seriously to me.
143
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:41,460
I don't hear you talking seriously.
I just hear excuses.
144
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:46,260
Who can talk seriously to you?
Well, when did you last try?
145
00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:49,780
I think it were
day two of our honeymoon.
146
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,940
Look, stop walking and look at me.
147
00:12:55,940 --> 00:13:00,020
Is that your best offer?
There you go, you see.
148
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:04,760
You don't look at me
as if I make your heart beat faster.
149
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,280
I think the magic's gone.
150
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,120
What's brought this on?
151
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,440
I've got the message.
152
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,480
One fried tomato this morning.
153
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,480
Why do you think I'm going shopping?!
154
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,160
Oh...OK. OK.
155
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:30,220
Why have you stopped
warming my jammies?
156
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,160
Because it's midsummer, you lunatic!
157
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:38,840
Ours feels like it's the only bed
with a fitted back boiler.
158
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:43,840
She thinks I give off too much heat!
159
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:50,200
I'd say that means
I'm coming across pretty good after all those married years.
160
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,920
OK! How about this...babe?
161
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,320
We do a quick shop...
162
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,760
and then we go home and fool around.
163
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,400
All right...
164
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,760
you win.
165
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,120
I'll warm your pyjamas.
166
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:29,000
Who is he?
You've heard of these groupies. Well, he's a fan of Billy's.
167
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,260
Huh! Takes one to know one.
168
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:35,300
He's got a hatchet.
He hasn't got a hatchet.
169
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:38,300
How many places
could HE conceal a hatchet?
170
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:42,540
Well, there goes any lingering
desire for a sticky bun.
171
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:48,480
Why is he a fan of Billy's, anyway?
He's a barmpot.
172
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:53,960
Billy's been bragging again.
I suppose I might have gilded the lily a bit.
173
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:03,860
Hey, you can't bring that lot
in here! We can't leave 'em on the handcart. They'll get nicked.
174
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:11,060
Big demand for cuckoo clocks
and musical boxes, is there? We'll create one.
175
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:14,180
Guess who the cuckoo is
who's pushing the cart!
176
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:19,380
Stop complaining. I want to hear
more "sophisticated smoothy".
177
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:24,000
Cary Grant is alive and well
and pushing a handcart(!)
178
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,340
He's getting great at kissing hands.
179
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:32,140
Only the ladies. NOT in here!
180
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,280
Who's that fella peering in?
181
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,500
He's a fan of Billy's.
Sounds promising.
182
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:45,200
If he's that impressionable,
he'll probably buy a clock.
183
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:51,900
Here, get your cups of tea and be
gone. And take that lot with you. They'll not be any trouble.
184
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:55,100
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
185
00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:12,600
Come on, Mervyn!
And bring your hatchet.
186
00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:18,260
I-I-I'm sorry.
I never thought to bring a hatchet.
187
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:29,440
It's very kind of you, Auntie Roz.
It's a beautiful dress.
188
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:36,120
Well, you might as well get
a bit of wear out of them. You've had your wear all right.
189
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:41,620
I can't wait to see my Barry
in a dinner jacket. Oh, I'm sure he'll look very smart.
190
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:45,440
Where's he getting a dinner jacket
from? He's bought one.
191
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:50,640
Why did he want to throw his money
away like that? He could have borrowed your father's.
192
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:56,720
Wesley? In advanced tailoring?!
It was a special social occasion. When?
193
00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:02,600
When he was chairman
of his motoring club. He's not always been scruffy, you know.
194
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:09,060
He's nearly always been scruffy.
It must have been more traumatic for him than an organ transplant.
195
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:13,820
It's true. It's a wonder
his immune system didn't reject it.
196
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:20,880
Mr Hardcastle made it sound
so interesting.
197
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:25,760
When Mr Hardcastle's had a few, he
always makes it sound interesting.
198
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:31,000
Would that be
a still-standing-few Billy or the collapsible legs version?
199
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:36,980
Just the nominal amount appropriate
to a gentleman. As much as that(?) He said it were all very secret
200
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:41,180
and that you had to pretend
the organisation didn't exist.
201
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:45,840
Well, nobody's ever heard of it,
have they? We did a good job there.
202
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:52,560
Did he tell you what else we get up
to in this...secret world of ours? Oh, yes. Just hints, of course.
203
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:58,360
But I got the impression
you were always practising your skills with swords and bows,
204
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,820
and constantly laughing at danger.
205
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:07,560
Of course, I understand that you
have to keep it all very hush-hush.
206
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:13,060
We could do with a bit more hush
round here. Well, he clearly made a big impression on you, Mervyn.
207
00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:16,500
Any signed photographs?
Give us a break!
208
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:22,840
Incidentally, Mr Hardcastle,
the vicar jumped at your kind offer.
209
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,460
Offer?
210
00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:28,820
To give a demonstration
at t'garden party. Garden party?
211
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:33,680
I thought it were very generous
of him. And so did t'vicar.
212
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:38,400
And so do we, Billy.
Can't tell you how much we're looking forward to it.
213
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,900
Wonderful to let people see
Mr Hardcastle's skill with t'bow and arrow.
214
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:48,880
Not only on foot, but whilst moving
at the speed of a galloping horse.
215
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,900
Hooray!
216
00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:56,360
Tha's never going to belong, Mervyn,
if all tha's going to do is blab.
217
00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:01,880
This lad's really pushing at
the boundaries of natty gents wear.
218
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:07,060
Buying more gear, Barry?
I'm taking it back. I've got to wear her father's.
219
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:11,760
Wesley's got a dinner jacket?!
He's only worn it once.
220
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:18,060
Just like his overalls. He wears
them once - till they fall apart. It's in perfect condition.
221
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:26,840
Wesley in a dinner suit.
Even once! Hah! Did he wear it on top of or under his overalls?
222
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,360
Well, of course the magic's gone.
223
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:37,780
When was the last time
you bought her anything?
224
00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:42,280
If you want advice on romantic,
ask him. Him?!
225
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:47,660
He's in the middle
of an intensive course. You should kiss her hand.
226
00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:55,920
That was Plan A. Plan B is
he should buy her something.
227
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,120
Have we done Plan B?
228
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,400
MUSICAL BOX TINKLES "Ballerina"
229
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,960
It's like liquid honey to the ears.
230
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:17,860
And just think, Howard, every time
she listens to it, who's she going to be thinking of? Mister Wonderful.
231
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,940
I'll do it.
232
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:28,880
You'll never regret it.
Now, one for Marina.
233
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,080
For Marina?
234
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:37,240
If she hears that you've been buying
things for Pearl, you're going to start leaking magic there as well.
235
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:42,700
How's she going to hear?
It's Smiler. Lovely bloke, but such a blabbermouth.
236
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,660
I can't be seen carrying two.
237
00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:51,480
You take this fine example
of Swiss craftsmanship for Marina.
238
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,880
We'll give you time to get home,
239
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:59,500
then we'll deliver
the musical box for Pearl. Great. All part of the service.
240
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:05,200
I still can't remember doing Plan B.
Don't worry about it.
241
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,620
About time. What kept you?
242
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,160
How did you get it in here?
243
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:41,960
Because people
are always leaving gates open. It saw this one open and in it went.
244
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:48,660
Well, I've had some funny experiences
in motor vehicles, but not one like that.
245
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:53,240
When she says come for a spin,
she really means a spin.
246
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:58,780
I kept thinking,
"If we're going to die, I'm glad Barry took that dinner suit back."
247
00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:03,780
Me, I was wondering
who's going to warm Howard's pyjamas.
248
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:10,760
Are you going to get us out, or are
you just going to stand there? Leave the car like that. You're safer.
249
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,240
At least not much else can happen.
250
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,400
It's an arrow. Whose arrow?
251
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:28,260
Oh, I hope it's not Cupid's.
At my time of life, you can't be doing with all that lot again.
252
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,540
Did anybody see where that went?
253
00:22:32,540 --> 00:22:36,820
You've given me a puncture,
you big, long dollop!
254
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:41,600
If you don't mind me saying, missus,
it's a funny place to park a car.
255
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:48,400
Excuse him. He's practising
for his exhibition. Well, he's built for making an exhibition of himself.
256
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:53,160
There seems to be
a note of criticism here. I've noticed that.
257
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:59,620
I wish to make it clear
that HE is a barmpot, and we are just...lending our support.
258
00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:03,640
Hey up.
A Land Rover. That's what I need.
259
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:09,660
Shooting from a moving vehicle
at the speed of a galloping horse. Nobody said there had to be a horse.
260
00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:13,800
What you'll do first
is mend my puncture.
261
00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:20,760
Do you think
he's any good at punctures?
262
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,260
Makes them quite nicely.
263
00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:27,340
Mervyn would have been proud.
Mm.
264
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,880
Oh, Howard, it's lovely.
265
00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:40,080
Ssh! I thought I heard
a vehicle coming. Way out here?
266
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,620
Listen.
267
00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:52,200
It IS. It's TWO vehicles. They'll
never see us if we keep quiet.
268
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,000
Cuckoo!
269
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,040
Cuckoo!
270
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,880
Cuckoo!
271
00:24:18,260 --> 00:24:23,020
Now, this demonstration represents
the firing of a bow while in motion.
272
00:24:23,020 --> 00:24:27,780
Of course, in Robin Hood's day
he'd have been on a horse.
273
00:24:27,780 --> 00:24:32,720
Did anybody hear a cuckoo back there?
I can hear the cuckoo here.
274
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:38,460
Are you familiar with the longbow,
ladies? Well, there's no knowing what SOME are familiar with.
275
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:42,460
It didn't extend
to medieval weaponry.
276
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,920
Oh, I don't know, though.
277
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:53,180
She'll penetrate your
fully-armoured knight, will this. It'll be very useful round here.
278
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,280
I'm sure it were a cuckoo.
279
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:04,580
I hope we're not long.
I've got to fit my Barry into Father's dinner suit.
280
00:25:06,940 --> 00:25:11,080
Are you sure about this, Billy?
A moving vehicle?
281
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:16,080
No problem. If they can do it from
horseback, I can do it from here.
282
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:21,900
This'll teach you to go shooting your
mouth off in pubs. I didn't know he was going to tell his vicar.
283
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,440
Should a vicar listen
to stories from a pub?
284
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:29,900
Shouldn't he have the sense
to know they probably came from some tiddly crackpot? Exactly.
285
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:34,720
Not only a crackpot,
but gobby with it. Are we ready?
286
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,220
We're ready. We're ready!
287
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,380
Ready when you are.
288
00:25:45,380 --> 00:25:49,560
Then let's be off.
I'll show 'em a thing or two.
289
00:25:54,980 --> 00:25:59,920
There's something almost noble
about a dipstick of such proportions.
290
00:26:00,140 --> 00:26:05,140
You have to admire the lack of fear
and other signs of intelligence.
291
00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:23,500
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
292
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:27,780
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
I told you.
293
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,100
Help!
294
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,920
What did I get? You got a cuckoo.
295
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,300
Mervyn would be proud!
296
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:05,380
Oh, dear.
This is Howard's for Pearl.
297
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:14,840
I'm terribly sorry. It's Wesley's
dinner suit. Talk about mothballs! I can hardly breathe in there.
298
00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:20,540
What are we going to do
about Pearl's musical box?
299
00:27:20,540 --> 00:27:25,000
We'll have to get it mended.
It's bought and paid for.
300
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,220
Oh!
301
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,420
What a shot!
302
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,940
Oh!
303
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,980
Help!
304
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,800
Oh, it smells terrible.
305
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,320
I can cover it with some perfume.
306
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,400
Oh, nice(!)
Can I borrow your earrings as well?
307
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,660
It sounds like honey for the ears.
308
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:33,420
And every time you hear it,
you'll be reminded of me.
309
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,900
TINKLING RUMBLE AND BELCH
310
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:48,620
We'll cancel with the vicar.
We'll tell him you've been called away.
311
00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:53,720
By voices...little whispering voices
from the Green Wood.
312
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,860
Subtitles Red Bee Media Ltd
313
00:28:56,910 --> 00:29:01,460
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