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1
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:52,000
Hey up, Nora - turn that broom down
a bit! There's people trying to sleep up here!
2
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,420
It's time
you were doing something useful.
3
00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:58,180
I'm open to any interesting offers!
4
00:00:58,180 --> 00:01:04,020
O-oh...get some clothes on.
You look like a used tea-bag!
5
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:10,160
It's a rich brew, love! Why don't
tha give it a twirl? Heh-heh!
6
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:16,460
Don't you CARE
what he says at me?! Speak to him!
7
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:19,920
I was just going to.
Get on with it!
8
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,080
How do, Compo? How do, Wal?
9
00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:41,360
Have you read your Bible?
10
00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:46,500
..Not this morning.
I haven't finished me paper yet.
11
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:49,300
There are wars
and rumours of wars.
12
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:57,240
..Not here. Are you sure you've got
the right house? You, eh...probably want to be in Arnold Street!
13
00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,120
WE believe
the world is DOOMED!
14
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,340
Looks pretty quiet to me.
15
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:10,380
^
But then the Happy Time is coming.
16
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:14,240
Shall YOU be there?
I-I can't promise.
17
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:21,300
Shall we go inside
and pray with you? Now?! I haven't cleaned up yet!
18
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:28,240
Could we make it a short prayer?
I really ought not to get started on anything long!
19
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:37,720
Good morning, ladies!
20
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,720
Very ingenious!
21
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:06,040
CLINKING
22
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:20,560
Norman, tha's got to pull thyself
together and eat something!
23
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,620
There's tha bun. Tha's paid for it.
24
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:28,660
Now, I'm going to stop here
until tha eats it. I don't want it.
25
00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:31,400
Oh, well then...
26
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,320
What's up with HIM?
27
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,200
He's had a religious experience.
28
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,280
Ask a silly question...!
29
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:45,760
You know all
that you've got to do? ..I think so.
30
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,960
That's comforting -
a ring of confidence (!)
31
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,500
Oh, all right...
32
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:57,600
Let's go through it again.
Do you want to ask me anything?
33
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:04,860
..Oh, there is one thing.
Well, spit it out, Milburn. What's wrong with Mr Clegg?
34
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:11,920
Never you mind!
Whatever it is, it's been coming on for years!
35
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:18,780
It's YOU I'm worried about.
Will you be all right? ..I think so.
36
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:24,800
Good grief, Milburn!
I'll be gone 5 minutes. I'm only going to the bank!
37
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:29,400
Don't worry, Ivy! WE'll watch him.
38
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,260
Huh! That does it!
That's ALL we need (!)
39
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:39,260
Good morning, everybody!
Full set now! I can't leave him with three!
40
00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:42,960
I'll be all right now!
Forget it!
41
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:53,160
I wouldn't leave that there. Some
fool just left piles of boxes where they were bound to get crushed!
42
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,080
Forgot to fasten it properly,
didn't you?
43
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:23,340
So there I was - captured
by these teenage missionaries.
44
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:28,880
It can't have been all THAT bad.
It was. It was BAD.
45
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:33,980
Halfway through breakfast there are
2 strangers kneeling on the carpet!
46
00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:39,120
I had 'em at my place once.
You have to admire the dedication!
47
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:46,160
You feel so helpless.
They never come inside. No. I suppose there ARE limits.
48
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:50,680
I've never seen anybody kneeling
in a house before...
49
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,200
Not without a dustpan.
It's so unnatural.
50
00:05:54,200 --> 00:06:01,700
I mean, why pick on ME?
Am I on a list somewhere - "the ten most wanted sinners"?
51
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:05,800
Hardly. What have you done
to warrant THAT?
52
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,760
I'm trying to think.
If it had been HIM...!
53
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:16,480
It's not sins of the flesh.
I scarcely ever got past sins of the SKIN!
54
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:27,900
..eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve,
thirteen, fourteen, fifteen,
55
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:31,920
sixteen, seventeen, eighteen,
nineteen, twenty,
56
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,740
twenty-one, twenty-two!
57
00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:41,000
One shouldn't be nervous
of religion! I wasn't until THEY barged in!
58
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:47,800
Had a good pray, did tha?
Oh, shurrup! I'll send them to you next time!
59
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,320
Send 'em round! I'LL convert 'em!
60
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:58,180
To what? Ferreting isn't a major
religion. It is in our family!
61
00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:03,060
I thought your devotions
went towards not paying the rent?
62
00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:05,820
Oh, aye. That an' all.
63
00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:13,360
The only consolation I've got
is that one of them went away with a trouser-leg full of fluff!
64
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:18,580
It makes you think a bit. If he
goes into another 10 houses today,
65
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:22,280
think how much pollen
he could be spreading!
66
00:07:31,580 --> 00:07:37,460
You were just lucky there. She was
sizzling towards your middle peg!
67
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:41,080
That's ALL I need
to make my day (!)
68
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:46,120
Call that a sizzler?! I thought
you were waving your hanky!
69
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:52,600
In inter-school cricketing circles
I was considered to have an elegant style!
70
00:07:56,340 --> 00:08:00,260
Tha bowls like a Sugar Plum Fairy!
71
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:07,680
Is it any wonder I'm off my stride?
I'm accustomed to rather more attractive surroundings.
72
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:12,240
H-h-has he bowled?
Can I open me eyes yet? Mmm?
73
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:20,200
The click of willow
on a summer's evening... Tea in the school pavilion...
74
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,780
Tha said it were falling down!
75
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:26,020
One end was all right.
We had it propped.
76
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:29,660
What did tha use?
The taller boys?!
77
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:34,860
I wouldn't slum like this
if we could be overlooked!
78
00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:38,440
A former headmaster has a position
to upkeep!
79
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,080
Hey, Seymour!
80
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:54,260
Oh, my God!
Did you have to call my name?!
81
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:57,560
Well played, Seymour (!)
82
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,980
DOORBELL
83
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:26,560
VICAR:
Rosemary, answer that bell!
84
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,140
Yes, dear.
85
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:35,520
Get the door, Rosemary!
I'm going, dear. Tell whoever it is that I'm busy!
86
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,200
Oh...I'm sorry,
87
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:46,740
but I've been asked... Good morning!
Can I have a word with the Vicar?
88
00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:49,300
I-I'm afraid he's very busy.
89
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:54,680
Of course! That is why he'll be
DELIGHTED to see me! My card.
90
00:09:56,220 --> 00:10:01,340
Oh, I see. You've brought us...
How do, your Vicaress?
91
00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:05,560
I've brought these people here
for a purpose.
92
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,400
Did you get rid of whoever it was?
93
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,840
There's a man
brought us some POOR people, dear.
94
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:17,200
A what? Speak up, woman!
95
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,400
If you tell him it's Utterthwaite -
former headmaster.
96
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,160
Perhaps you'd wait here a moment?
Certainly!
97
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:32,700
It's very good of you to bring us
these poor people...but we don't normally have them delivered...
98
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:36,740
Usually we arrange
to SEND them things...
99
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:39,800
I-I daren't take the responsibility.
100
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:46,680
What's she mean - "poor people"?
Does that mean there's a bob or two in it for us?
101
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:51,880
I must speak to my husband.
Utterthwaite. Ran my own school.
102
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,920
(Yes.)
103
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:06,260
ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY!!
104
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:10,020
Behave yourself!
I'll take him outside.
105
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:12,700
Come here, you two! Get off!
106
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:18,040
Hey up, there's a fella here
with wings! Look at that!
107
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:23,400
Hands off the religious artefacts!
Stand still. Let ME do the talking.
108
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:28,460
I'm not praying with anybody.
Clegg. Former lino-salesman.
109
00:11:28,460 --> 00:11:32,200
I distinctly asked you to get rid
of them!
110
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:39,700
It seems important.
It always is, when people come to see their Vicar. HOW important?
111
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:44,120
It's not just a wedding
or a funeral, is it?
112
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:50,220
I don't think so, dear.
I think someone's brought us some POOR people.
113
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:53,520
What...? Who IS it out there?
114
00:11:55,460 --> 00:12:00,080
Oh, God! Not him again!
He's such a know-it-all!
115
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,880
What are you DOING up there?
116
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:10,940
A pretty girl...
is like a mel-ody...
117
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:16,800
She came from Pon-te-fract...
118
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:23,040
This is not a place
of entertainment! You're telling me!
119
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,980
Well, I'm not praying with anybody.
120
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:31,060
I want you to accept that religion
is an ordinary part of life.
121
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:34,600
I'll accept that. Let's go.
I'm with you.
122
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,540
You've got a thing about religion!
123
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:43,540
The cure is familiarity,
so we'll offer our services in any useful capacity.
124
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:50,440
I warn you that I'm...very low
on useful. I'm not joining if there's an entrance fee.
125
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:56,320
Relax. You're already a member.
Who put my name down?! I didn't!
126
00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:01,600
You were christened, weren't you?
Course I were christened! There!
127
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:06,640
I know I were christened, because
my mam kept my christening robe.
128
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:14,160
There was a hell of a row, cos
she was supposed to get it back to the pawnshop within 24 hours!
129
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:19,540
Let's not go into that! Oh, I wish
you could make a better impression!
130
00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:24,340
Whaddaya mean?
You think I'm scruffy, don't you?
131
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:28,480
Norman...do YOU think I'm scruffy?
132
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:36,160
Do you want me to lie to you?
Yes, please. You look great. Ta.
133
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:40,880
Couldn't you borrow something
from a scarecrow?
134
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:46,140
Just a minute, Gloria! I thought
we were going to see the Vicar,
135
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:48,960
not going straight in to see God!
136
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:55,800
That's not the kind of comment
they appreciate here! Now, let me do the talking.
137
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:00,240
That Vicar needs firm handling.
He's such a know-it-all!
138
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,260
He's a know-it-all. You handle it.
139
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:07,240
- Me?
- You mustn't avoid responsibility.
140
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,020
You shout when I get things wrong.
141
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:15,600
Nonsense.
It's true! Well, it doesn't hurt.
142
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:20,920
It's done in pursuit
of the Christian ideal of excellence.
143
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:27,020
The search for perfection is meant
to apply to oneself, not to one's wife!
144
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:30,380
Don't bandy theology
with me!
145
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:37,360
I want help
with one little job. It doesn't mean you've been promoted to Bishop!
146
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:42,800
- Is it a job I can DO?
- You'd better...go and find out.
147
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,360
I'm far too busy.
148
00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:58,190
I'm afraid the only area where
volunteers are urgently required at the moment...
149
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:04,770
If I can find...
There used to be a light here. I'm not good with electricity.
150
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:09,090
I get the same feeling
about the Electricity Board!
151
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:14,090
Oh! Oh, how clever of you
to find it!
152
00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:19,330
It amazes me how workers know
about things like that. Workers?!
153
00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:24,070
Oh, I hope I didn't offend him!
You've made his day!
154
00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:30,950
She called me a worker!
Don't worry. Politicians have got it wrong for years.
155
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:37,130
We urgently need help
with the costumes for the Beatrix Potter evening.
156
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:41,790
I...don't suppose
you're experienced at sewing?
157
00:15:41,790 --> 00:15:44,730
Now, come along, my little chuckie!
158
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:50,270
Do I LOOK like the sort of person
who's experienced with sewing? Oh!
159
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:59,930
I was thinking of something much
more responsible: organising church seminars; trips to the Holy Land.
160
00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:03,530
Charles wouldn't wish me
to go so far.
161
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:08,870
Does he know I'm well qualified?
He...knows of your reputation.
162
00:16:08,870 --> 00:16:11,850
How very gratifying! Did you hear?
163
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:18,210
There IS our perpetual problem -
everyone else has failed. Name it!
164
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:23,350
Tickets aren't going well.
You COULD sell tickets!
165
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:37,110
It's not what I had in mind.
You'll never get rid of that lot!
166
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:43,030
Oh, it's not as if I couldn't!
Only it's such a waste of one's talents.
167
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:45,770
At least we didn't have to pray.
168
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:49,990
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not against the odd prayer.
169
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:54,090
It's this "going public"
that makes you shudder.
170
00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:59,130
Religion is essentially private...
like your medical records.
171
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:04,650
I've never seen mine. Me neither.
That's what I call REALLY private!
172
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:08,990
All right. How many will you take?
Of what? Tickets.
173
00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:16,530
Oh, not me, kiddo! Oh, no!
You volunteered for the job, so you sell 'em, Mr Efficiency!
174
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:22,470
I was speaking also on YOUR behalf!
It's not what we had in mind...
175
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:25,150
I've still not got it in mind!
176
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:31,510
If we do well selling these,
they'll realise how they're under-using me.
177
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:34,370
I'm no good at selling things.
178
00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:38,410
You can't fight genetics.
I was born a buyer.
179
00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:43,730
I'm not buying a ticket for people
that dance about dressed as mice!
180
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:48,010
They sing as well.
Even if they squeak!
181
00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:53,950
Some people can sell anything,
but only to people like ME!
182
00:17:53,950 --> 00:18:01,710
You're afraid of this assignment.
I'll show you that with force of personality it CAN be done!
183
00:18:01,710 --> 00:18:05,010
This could be interesting, Norm!
184
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:10,130
Crowd of men there, having a laugh.
Always inclined to spend freely.
185
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:15,090
If there's trouble, be kind enough
not to say you're with us.
186
00:18:15,090 --> 00:18:20,050
Trouble?!
SCOFFS, AND IS IMITATED BY COMPO
187
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:25,550
Could I interest you in tickets for
"The Tales of Beatrix Potter"?
188
00:18:27,370 --> 00:18:30,870
Plain daft!
No thanks, mate.
189
00:18:30,870 --> 00:18:34,130
INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION
190
00:18:38,090 --> 00:18:41,750
Look, it's for a very worthwhile
charity!
191
00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:55,550
Was that a former headmaster
just went past? I couldn't tell from this angle!
192
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:02,350
Look on the positive side.
WHAT positive side?!
193
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:09,390
How many people at your time
of life are still getting these new experiences?
194
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:16,110
Being thrown out
of a common boozer! An experience I could have well done without!
195
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:23,910
I thought he handled it very well.
Looked like he'd been doing it all his life! I beg your pardon!
196
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:29,950
Stop twitching. It's nowt.
Everybody's been thrown out of a boozer!
197
00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:34,990
Everybody has NOT been thrown
out of a boozer! No?
198
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:42,530
Well, maybe in a few chintzy
little areas down south... Can't be much of a life!
199
00:19:44,170 --> 00:19:49,490
You never realise there are still
people who live their whole lives
200
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:53,470
wi'out being thrown out
of a boozer!
201
00:19:55,570 --> 00:20:00,030
There's NO excuse for it
in this day and age!
202
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:06,610
Countless people get thrown out
of pubs by the landlord.
203
00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:11,430
It's a normal part
of the evolutionary cycle.
204
00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:18,930
But we've got to hand it to Seymour
for leaping straight into that exclusive body of men
205
00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:23,330
who have actually been tossed out
by the customers!
206
00:20:24,370 --> 00:20:27,870
I suppose you think
I'm a failure?
207
00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:32,530
You do, don't you?
208
00:20:34,070 --> 00:20:36,610
You think I'm a failure.
209
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,830
I thought tha did very well.
210
00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:49,090
I remember the first time
I were thrown out... Phworr... I made a RIGHT bog of it!
211
00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:54,230
Well, you're better now.
212
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:58,670
Oh, aye... I'm better now!
213
00:21:01,590 --> 00:21:09,510
About the tickets - you think
I'm a failure. Tha were onto a loser there from the start.
214
00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:14,030
I must be losing my grip.
215
00:21:15,830 --> 00:21:23,430
Well...perhaps you ought to stop
taking this...negative attitude towards failure, Seymour.
216
00:21:24,470 --> 00:21:30,630
What other attitude is there?
Well, there's a lot to be said for failure.
217
00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:38,090
It's like an old friend -
we've been living together quietly now for YEARS!
218
00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:41,970
NOT my way.
Well... give it a chance.
219
00:21:41,970 --> 00:21:46,130
And if there's any way
that we can help,
220
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:50,190
remember, Seymour -
when it comes to failure,
221
00:21:50,190 --> 00:21:56,210
you're in the hands of two
of the finest natural players in the country!
222
00:21:56,210 --> 00:22:02,510
Definitely. I'd challenge anybody
to a failure, anywhere, anytime!
223
00:22:02,510 --> 00:22:06,590
NOT the Utterthwaite code.
224
00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:11,610
Relax, Seymour. Go with the flow.
225
00:22:11,610 --> 00:22:18,410
We take the tickets back. Call it
a day. End of responsibility.
226
00:22:18,410 --> 00:22:22,450
Weight off tha mind!
Sleep like a babby.
227
00:22:23,950 --> 00:22:27,810
"STIFF UPPER LIP" PATRIOTIC MUSIC
228
00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:34,690
I'll do it! By GOD, I'll DO it!
I'll put an end to responsibility!
229
00:22:34,690 --> 00:22:39,730
Enough of this eternal pressure
to succeed! I've done all that!
230
00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:43,710
It's not as if
I haven't DONE all that!
231
00:22:44,452 --> 00:22:48,172
We'll just leave the tickets
on the table.
232
00:22:48,172 --> 00:22:52,232
Tha's getting the hang
of this irresponsible lark!
233
00:22:52,232 --> 00:22:59,272
No need to explain
to that know-it-all Vicar. Spoken like a real loser, Seymour!
234
00:22:59,272 --> 00:23:06,792
It's such a RELIEF to throw off
the burden of always being looked up to socially -
235
00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:13,792
drift with the mindless throng.
You know, for a while... I think I might enjoy it!
236
00:23:15,472 --> 00:23:18,072
Hey up!
237
00:23:18,072 --> 00:23:25,612
Dear oh dear! It makes you
wonder if you're safe anywhere! It's the So-So-Sisters!
238
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:30,072
I thought all that could happen
was my thread snapping!
239
00:23:30,072 --> 00:23:36,512
Don't start anything on Church
premises! If tha's superstitious, come outside!
240
00:23:36,512 --> 00:23:42,412
Hey up, Norman!
Having a great time! I wish you were here! Oh!
241
00:23:42,412 --> 00:23:46,772
At least while they're here,
they're not upsetting Milburn.
242
00:23:46,772 --> 00:23:51,972
I've never seen Milburn upset.
I can't imagine Milburn upset.
243
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:56,572
It's like finding that Gibraltar
is a lemon meringue!
244
00:23:56,572 --> 00:24:01,612
That'll do! Our Milburn isn't fast,
but he's a good lad underneath.
245
00:24:01,612 --> 00:24:05,272
He's too big to get underneath
anything!
246
00:24:05,272 --> 00:24:11,072
Keep away!
You wouldn't be saying THAT if we were alone!
247
00:24:11,072 --> 00:24:18,052
I shouldn't be saying anything!
I'd be flattening you with something harder than this!
248
00:24:18,052 --> 00:24:22,312
You must admit
I bring colour to your cheeks!
249
00:24:22,312 --> 00:24:29,332
Are you not going to stop him?!
Is there no practising Anglican here to do his duty?!
250
00:24:29,332 --> 00:24:32,552
Is THIS why I moved up
from Chapel?!
251
00:24:32,552 --> 00:24:35,612
Seymour usually handles discipline.
252
00:24:35,612 --> 00:24:40,492
Sorry. My responsible days
are over. I just go with the flow.
253
00:24:40,492 --> 00:24:45,652
I was never a great interferer.
I'm more your raging apathetic.
254
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:50,212
Why are you here?
Just bringing unsold tickets back.
255
00:24:50,212 --> 00:24:54,772
Back?! Who needs 'em BACK?!
We need 'em SOLD!
256
00:24:54,772 --> 00:24:58,852
The damn CAST will be bigger
than the audience!!
257
00:24:58,852 --> 00:25:02,592
You give up time
to make costumes...
258
00:25:02,592 --> 00:25:06,592
And nobody bothers
to sell tickets! Nobody cares!
259
00:25:06,592 --> 00:25:09,472
Relax. Go with the flow!
260
00:25:09,472 --> 00:25:17,132
I don't know WHICH Flo you're going
with, but she's not up to much if she stops you selling tickets!
261
00:25:17,132 --> 00:25:22,572
We need people to sell tickets!
We haven't done this for fun!
262
00:25:22,572 --> 00:25:26,072
They haven't got the message,
have they?
263
00:25:26,072 --> 00:25:29,212
Huh! NICE attitude for a headmaster!
264
00:25:29,212 --> 00:25:32,992
Th-this is no place
to be preaching "hippy"!
265
00:25:32,992 --> 00:25:35,892
But you said... Don't quote me.
266
00:25:35,892 --> 00:25:40,972
But you talked me into throwing off
all the shackles of responsibility.
267
00:25:40,972 --> 00:25:45,992
SEYMOUR UTTERTHWAITE!!
THAT is disgusting!
268
00:25:47,532 --> 00:25:52,372
Don't worry, my little lovelies.
I'LL sell the tickets!
269
00:25:52,372 --> 00:25:57,632
Disgusting?! What do you mean?
He's quite right!
270
00:25:57,632 --> 00:26:04,432
He may not be well-educated,
but at least his heart's in the right place!
271
00:26:04,432 --> 00:26:10,052
We've 'ad our differences,
but at least when the crunch comes...!
272
00:26:10,052 --> 00:26:15,712
But you said... You both said...
Just...go with the flow, Seymour.
273
00:26:18,752 --> 00:26:21,452
I was made to look a right fool!
274
00:26:21,452 --> 00:26:26,472
You must stop worrying about that,
to be a success at failure!
275
00:26:26,472 --> 00:26:34,212
I tried hard to be a failure, but
that little creep put the boot in - shaming me in front of the ladies!
276
00:26:34,212 --> 00:26:37,752
"I'll sell tha tickets for thee,
love"!
277
00:26:37,752 --> 00:26:45,272
How can HE sell tickets,
if I couldn't?! Impact, he said. A more positive approach.
278
00:26:45,272 --> 00:26:47,812
TA-RA!
279
00:26:47,812 --> 00:26:51,412
I just hope
there's no chuffing cats about!
280
00:26:51,412 --> 00:26:56,372
Oh, I shall give SUCH a squeak!
Sque-eak! Sque-eak!
281
00:26:57,952 --> 00:27:01,052
(Oh, my God!)
282
00:27:15,872 --> 00:27:18,652
Squeak, squeak! Squeak, squeak!
283
00:27:28,472 --> 00:27:31,112
Get out! Go on, get out!
284
00:28:25,212 --> 00:28:29,072
Subtitles by Diane Reid
BBC - 1987
285
00:28:29,122 --> 00:28:33,672
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