Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,948
Does that bike always
make that blasted noise?
2
00:00:40,008 --> 00:00:42,147
It's worse when I ride it.
3
00:00:42,148 --> 00:00:45,507
It's in poor taste
for a knocked-off bike.
4
00:00:45,508 --> 00:00:47,867
It's not knocked-off!
5
00:00:47,868 --> 00:00:50,527
I borrowed it off our Les.
6
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:53,747
Well that's as good
as a confession.
7
00:00:53,748 --> 00:00:59,147
I like their Les.
He can't stand kids.
8
00:00:59,148 --> 00:01:03,367
He's packed in thieving
since he got married.
9
00:01:03,368 --> 00:01:05,768
Sending her out now, is he?
10
00:01:18,908 --> 00:01:21,507
This is where they come to get slim.
11
00:01:21,508 --> 00:01:24,248
Well, it's nearer than Bangladesh
12
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,887
They say it's expensive.
13
00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:29,087
Bangladesh?!
14
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:32,568
Shouldn't have thought they could
find a buyer for THAT at any price.
15
00:01:33,548 --> 00:01:37,928
One - Two - Three - and Four
One - Two - Three - and Four...
16
00:01:46,168 --> 00:01:47,747
Know what this reminds me of?
17
00:01:47,748 --> 00:01:52,087
We haven't the slightest interest
but no doubt you'll tell us.
18
00:01:52,088 --> 00:01:54,327
It reminds me that I'm 'ungry.
19
00:01:54,328 --> 00:01:56,147
My belly's rumbling.
20
00:01:56,148 --> 00:01:58,168
Charming, isn't it?
21
00:01:59,228 --> 00:02:00,907
Not only his bike to listen to,
22
00:02:00,908 --> 00:02:04,527
now we've got the rattle
of his interior moving parts.
23
00:02:04,528 --> 00:02:07,687
Alright. Let's make a start
on the sandwiches.
24
00:02:07,688 --> 00:02:09,847
We haven't been going 20 minutes.
25
00:02:09,848 --> 00:02:11,808
I ain't 'ad any brekky!
26
00:02:12,588 --> 00:02:15,208
No! Definitely not!
27
00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:18,368
No sandwiches yet.
28
00:02:25,248 --> 00:02:28,648
Now, don't wolf them all
We'll have nothing left for lunch.
29
00:02:32,008 --> 00:02:33,968
Oh, my God - see what he's brought.
30
00:02:38,828 --> 00:02:39,928
What's wrong?
31
00:02:40,308 --> 00:02:43,928
How can you try things like that
without steel toes in your boots?
32
00:02:44,988 --> 00:02:47,148
Just thee watch.
33
00:02:51,368 --> 00:02:52,707
What was that?
34
00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:56,427
It sounds like the sort of noise
that makes you say...
35
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:57,528
"What was that?"
36
00:02:58,568 --> 00:03:01,208
Give over, it's just a bird or rat.
37
00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:04,447
A rat?! All right,
don't go to pieces!
38
00:03:04,448 --> 00:03:06,288
They're never more than 8ft long.
39
00:03:08,468 --> 00:03:10,447
Listen...
40
00:03:10,448 --> 00:03:11,848
There it is again.
41
00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:16,707
I wish I knew the tormented
history of this old barn.
42
00:03:16,708 --> 00:03:19,568
I'm beginning to think
it's... haunted.
43
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,008
Ye great, big dollop!
44
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:26,107
But can't you... can't you feel it?
45
00:03:26,108 --> 00:03:29,927
Can't you feel it - that atmosphere
of foreboding and despair?
46
00:03:29,928 --> 00:03:32,707
Like Liverpool on a Sunday?
47
00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:35,287
No, of course you can't feel it.
48
00:03:35,288 --> 00:03:36,988
Listen!
49
00:03:38,168 --> 00:03:39,428
Will you pack it in?
50
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:45,347
You're totally insensitive
to anything you can't stuff down your gullet or place a bet on.
51
00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:47,727
Why should an old barn be 'aunted?
52
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,147
I must say I'm totally enchanted
53
00:03:50,148 --> 00:03:53,227
by the idea of some
muck-spreading old ghost,
54
00:03:53,228 --> 00:03:57,808
whose notion of a good haunt
is to put blackfly on broad beans.
55
00:03:58,848 --> 00:04:00,827
Aye, well I DON'T believe in 'em.
56
00:04:00,828 --> 00:04:05,287
You think that broad beans
are a figment of the imagination?
57
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,848
He believes nothing.
58
00:04:07,588 --> 00:04:10,787
I believe in four
square meals a day.
59
00:04:10,788 --> 00:04:13,568
There's no need to stuff
them all into one sandwich.
60
00:04:16,768 --> 00:04:18,728
There it is again.
61
00:04:18,848 --> 00:04:21,528
It's coming from over there.
62
00:04:22,648 --> 00:04:24,887
There's something in the shadows.
63
00:04:24,888 --> 00:04:26,388
Cobblers!
64
00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:28,927
Something white.
65
00:04:28,928 --> 00:04:30,828
White cobblers.
66
00:04:32,508 --> 00:04:36,907
I DON'T believe in GHOSTS
in draughty old barns.
67
00:04:36,908 --> 00:04:40,587
But suppose-suppose-suppose
Just suppose...
68
00:04:40,588 --> 00:04:45,388
Suppose this barn was the scene
of some... DIABOLICAL crime.
69
00:04:45,628 --> 00:04:49,627
IT WILL BE - If you stop me eating
this sandwich once more!
70
00:04:49,628 --> 00:04:52,647
The poor demented soul
could be DOOMED
71
00:04:52,648 --> 00:04:55,327
to linger here for all eternity.
72
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,847
In broad daylight?
73
00:04:56,848 --> 00:04:58,988
Maybe his watch is wrong.
74
00:05:00,408 --> 00:05:02,627
Listen. In the Far East,
75
00:05:02,628 --> 00:05:06,207
I've seen things that would
make your hair stand on end.
76
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:07,647
Really?
77
00:05:07,648 --> 00:05:12,188
Don't worry. Tha's perfectly safe
as long as tha doesn't marry one.
78
00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:17,367
The MT sheds in the barracks
at Sungei Baru were haunted,
79
00:05:17,368 --> 00:05:20,707
by the ghost of a...
a driver corporal,
80
00:05:20,708 --> 00:05:24,367
who was renowned for the
UNBELIEVABLE things he could do
81
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:28,068
with his 15 cwt while under
the influence of native wine
82
00:05:32,268 --> 00:05:36,347
Sometimes... Sometimes
he could be heard on payday,
83
00:05:36,348 --> 00:05:40,127
in BROAD daylight
revvying his PHANTOM engine
84
00:05:40,128 --> 00:05:43,327
and blowing a COLD, CHILL note
85
00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:46,568
on what sounded very like
a battered old military horn.
86
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:58,527
'Ey up! By 'eck, it's a group!
87
00:05:58,528 --> 00:05:59,787
No. No. No. No.
88
00:05:59,788 --> 00:06:02,587
GROUPS daren't materialise
in daylight.
89
00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:05,748
Can you believe
in Adam and the Ants in daylight?
90
00:06:07,788 --> 00:06:10,007
Look at their STARING eyes.
91
00:06:10,008 --> 00:06:12,067
It's a close encounter!
92
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:15,167
They've come to whip us off
to the nearest galaxy!
93
00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:18,327
Give over!
94
00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:21,407
It's that lot from the 'ealth Farm.
95
00:06:21,408 --> 00:06:23,588
All in their slimming trunks.
96
00:06:24,588 --> 00:06:28,107
I said I could sense this air
of foreboding and despair.
97
00:06:28,108 --> 00:06:30,308
It's these poor hungry devils.
98
00:06:30,468 --> 00:06:32,448
They've got their eye on our food.
99
00:06:32,528 --> 00:06:35,447
Excuse me. Excuse me.
100
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:39,167
Thank you. Thank you.
101
00:06:39,168 --> 00:06:41,147
Slip them a sandwich, Foggy.
102
00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:43,727
And we'll just nip out
through yon window.
103
00:06:43,728 --> 00:06:45,427
Good idea, Norm.
104
00:06:45,428 --> 00:06:50,327
Better give them yours, that would
occupy them longer. Ger off!
105
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:52,568
Em... What have you got?
106
00:06:53,608 --> 00:06:54,808
Pardon?
107
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:57,807
In your sandwich.
108
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,447
Oh! Oh, me sandwich! Yes.
109
00:06:59,448 --> 00:07:01,288
I've got cheese. Ooooh!
110
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,367
Oooh! Oooh! He's got CHEESE!
111
00:07:03,368 --> 00:07:05,507
With mustard? Aye. Look.
112
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,747
- With mustard!
- It's very acid-forming, you know.
113
00:07:08,748 --> 00:07:10,647
Shut up, Lapsley!
Shut up, Lapsley!
114
00:07:10,648 --> 00:07:13,427
We haven't all got cheese.
115
00:07:13,428 --> 00:07:16,607
I've got a little
LEAN CUT boiled ham.
116
00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:19,967
And, for a change, a little pate.
117
00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:22,808
Oh, God, he's got pate.
118
00:07:23,628 --> 00:07:26,467
Not only boiled ham -
LEAN CUT boiled ham...
119
00:07:26,468 --> 00:07:28,288
but Normandy pate! 'Ey up!
120
00:07:29,328 --> 00:07:31,347
NORMANDY PATE?
121
00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:35,247
It's potted meat
He just likes to swank, that's all.
122
00:07:35,248 --> 00:07:38,447
I'll thank you
not to disparage potted meat.
123
00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:41,527
I won't have a WORD said against it.
124
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,067
I can assure you, madam,
125
00:07:43,068 --> 00:07:47,207
despite the unsolicited voice
from the condemned wellies there,
126
00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:49,107
this is in fact GENUINE pate.
127
00:07:49,108 --> 00:07:52,467
I think perhaps we ought to be going.
They'll be waiting for us.
128
00:07:52,468 --> 00:07:56,827
It's time for carrot juice,
sauna and MANIPULATION.
129
00:07:56,828 --> 00:07:58,427
Let them wait Let them wait!
130
00:07:58,428 --> 00:08:01,287
Keep quiet, Lapsley!
Trouble-maker!
131
00:08:01,288 --> 00:08:04,767
Let them wait
for carrot juice, sauna AND manipulation.
132
00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:07,107
Meantime, I suggest we negotiate
133
00:08:07,108 --> 00:08:09,767
for the purchase
of these emergency rations?
134
00:08:09,768 --> 00:08:11,887
'Oh yes! Yes! Yes!'
135
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:14,387
Do you really think we ought?
136
00:08:14,388 --> 00:08:16,408
We'll open
with YOUR contribution.
137
00:08:16,648 --> 00:08:19,008
No! No!
Good idea! Come on, Lapsley!
138
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,925
No. It's RIGHT.
139
00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:24,706
I'm not sure about the cap.
140
00:08:26,026 --> 00:08:28,066
You'd destroy it
without the cap!
141
00:08:28,826 --> 00:08:30,385
What about me 'air?
142
00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:32,946
Yes... I don't like your 'air.
143
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,626
It comes with the 'ead!
144
00:08:38,626 --> 00:08:40,105
Could you wear it up?
145
00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:42,125
I suppose so.
146
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:45,185
It gives me 'eadaches
and me husband 'ates it.
147
00:08:45,186 --> 00:08:47,205
But I suppose so.
148
00:08:47,206 --> 00:08:50,906
He HATES it?
You're lucky he even NOTICES
149
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,825
It makes me look TALLER.
150
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:56,445
He's conscious of 'is size.
151
00:08:56,446 --> 00:08:58,585
Mine NEVER notices.
152
00:08:58,586 --> 00:09:01,825
After 30 years he still pretends
that I've not noticed
153
00:09:01,826 --> 00:09:04,526
he's an UNDERSIZED little idiot.
154
00:09:06,106 --> 00:09:10,065
MINE wouldn't notice unless
I fried the ends in batter.
155
00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:13,185
I sometimes think
ALL his senses have amalgamated
156
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,466
in a direct line to 'is belly.
157
00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:19,225
Well, ALL bar one, anyway.
158
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:23,185
♪ Hold my hand
I'm a stranger in paradise. ♪
159
00:09:23,186 --> 00:09:25,986
You're not too well known
in chapel either!
160
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:29,825
You needn't put your 'air up now.
161
00:09:29,826 --> 00:09:33,866
Yes, but that's the way
I want you turned out for weddings.
162
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,945
I'd be nervous
at a wedding function.
163
00:09:37,946 --> 00:09:39,165
No, you wouldn't.
164
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,946
I always CRY.
165
00:09:42,046 --> 00:09:44,426
Not when
you're involved professionally.
166
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,145
You have a CERTAIN detachment.
167
00:09:48,146 --> 00:09:50,385
Instead of feeling
sorry for the bride,
168
00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:52,585
you're too preoccupied watching
169
00:09:52,586 --> 00:09:56,305
for the first drunken fool
to start swiping the cutlery.
170
00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:59,586
At a wedding? They don't, do they?
171
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,805
They DO. You'll see them.
172
00:10:01,806 --> 00:10:04,025
Both hands under the table.
173
00:10:04,026 --> 00:10:07,605
Then it's just a question
of DISCRIMINATION.
174
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:12,005
Are they feeling somebody's leg,
or sliding something into a handbag?
175
00:10:12,006 --> 00:10:13,965
How do you tell?
176
00:10:13,966 --> 00:10:18,125
By the expression
Watch their faces.
177
00:10:18,126 --> 00:10:20,045
I'll never learn!
178
00:10:20,046 --> 00:10:21,265
Yes you will
179
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:24,945
As an added incentive,
for every item missing,
180
00:10:24,946 --> 00:10:28,065
I'll deduct a token amount
from YOUR wages.
181
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:32,785
How can I tell from their faces
what they do under the table?
182
00:10:32,786 --> 00:10:36,126
If their mouths
are 'anging open, it's lust.
183
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:41,085
If they're clamped
tight shut, it's larceny.
184
00:10:41,086 --> 00:10:43,625
There are some clamped tight,
it's lockjaw.
185
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:45,346
How long
have you been listening?
186
00:10:45,486 --> 00:10:47,406
Hanging on to every word.
187
00:10:47,586 --> 00:10:49,126
Oh! Damn and Blast!
188
00:10:49,506 --> 00:10:52,305
Oh! It's a good job
we weren't 'anging on
189
00:10:52,306 --> 00:10:54,485
to every word of that little lot!
190
00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:56,525
What's she dressed up for?
191
00:10:56,526 --> 00:10:59,465
Because I am DETERMINED
192
00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:02,025
to raise the tone
of this establishment
193
00:11:02,026 --> 00:11:05,705
It's about time we raised
this blood and snortin' counter.
194
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,865
The public want more than
bare tables and sauce bottles.
195
00:11:08,866 --> 00:11:10,705
They won't put up with it.
196
00:11:10,706 --> 00:11:14,425
They will if you shout at 'em
They're as good as gold then.
197
00:11:14,426 --> 00:11:17,545
No. If there's one thing
mass education has done,
198
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:21,805
it's taught people
to be afraid of bare tables and good plain food.
199
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,865
They've learned
to pay DAFT money
200
00:11:23,866 --> 00:11:26,526
for subdued lighting
and sub-standard chips.
201
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:31,766
The tone'll take some raising here.
202
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,505
'Ey up, Nora.
203
00:11:34,506 --> 00:11:37,906
I don't want you coming any nearer
Keep away!
204
00:11:39,386 --> 00:11:42,505
Tha looks very slinky
in that outfit.
205
00:11:42,506 --> 00:11:46,405
By 'ell, that makes me think
of breakfast in bed!
206
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,505
Keep off!
207
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,165
Are you interfering
with my staff?
208
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:53,225
Matter of fact,
I don't have the time,
209
00:11:53,226 --> 00:11:56,486
but if you'd like to
keep her warm till I get back!
210
00:11:57,506 --> 00:11:58,865
Waw! Waw!
211
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:01,066
A vision in black!
212
00:12:02,146 --> 00:12:03,985
Right. Well now, Sidney...
213
00:12:03,986 --> 00:12:07,066
we would like a hundred
packets of crisps, please.
214
00:12:09,706 --> 00:12:11,065
How many?
215
00:12:11,066 --> 00:12:15,965
A hundred. But if that order
is too large we... No, say no more.
216
00:12:15,966 --> 00:12:18,325
Anything else? Yes...
217
00:12:18,326 --> 00:12:23,145
yes, here we are. There'll
be four dozen sausage rolls and three dozen meat pies,
218
00:12:23,146 --> 00:12:25,545
1½ gross assorted
chocolate biscuits,
219
00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:28,705
two dozen whirly walnut ripples
with cream centres,
220
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,226
10 jars of potted meat,
10lbs of cheddar...
221
00:12:39,086 --> 00:12:42,625
'Ey up, we can't just pedal
through the front gates.
222
00:12:42,626 --> 00:12:44,585
We'll have to sneak round the back.
223
00:12:44,586 --> 00:12:48,585
How can we SNEAK anywhere
with your damned noisy bike?
224
00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:52,165
Maybe I could oil it
with Sid's bread and butter.
225
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:54,746
Not at the price we can get here.
226
00:12:55,806 --> 00:12:57,245
Will THEY want it?
227
00:12:57,246 --> 00:12:58,585
Want it?
228
00:12:58,586 --> 00:13:02,585
You're only problem's going to be
moving your hand out of the way
229
00:13:02,586 --> 00:13:06,066
before THEY get their teeth
round your fingers. Come on.
230
00:13:12,806 --> 00:13:14,686
I saw this Western.
231
00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:18,325
There were these three blokes
trying to smuggle these guns
232
00:13:18,326 --> 00:13:20,605
to these half-crazy Indians.
233
00:13:20,606 --> 00:13:21,885
What happened?
234
00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:23,545
I daren't tell you.
235
00:13:23,546 --> 00:13:26,386
But if any of them slimmers
lights a fire...
236
00:13:26,486 --> 00:13:28,626
Don't wait. I'll be gone.
237
00:14:16,446 --> 00:14:18,805
Why is it me always goes first?
238
00:14:18,806 --> 00:14:21,625
Well... I've thought about that
239
00:14:21,626 --> 00:14:25,905
and I think it's because
you tend to be DAFTER than we are.
240
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,205
Oh!
241
00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:31,345
You give him a position of trust
and he MOANS about it.
242
00:14:31,346 --> 00:14:35,545
It's time you were prepared
to accept a bit of responsibility.
243
00:14:35,546 --> 00:14:38,565
'Ey, mind where you're shoving!
Mind where you're shoving!
244
00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:46,345
I can assure you we don't intend
handling your trousers a moment longer than absolutely necessary.
245
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:49,545
You're supposed to jump,
not just wriggle about.
246
00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:51,865
I'm not wriggling about!
247
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:55,146
Well, there's somebody
in there wriggling about,
248
00:14:56,206 --> 00:14:59,265
Watch out
You're scraping my chest!
249
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,786
If it's like your neck
it could do with it.
250
00:15:02,826 --> 00:15:04,325
What's wrong with my neck?
251
00:15:04,326 --> 00:15:08,645
Don't let go, you dozy wet! Arrgh!
252
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,426
See what you've done!
253
00:15:12,326 --> 00:15:15,346
YOU DOZY, GREAT PILLOCK!
254
00:15:17,246 --> 00:15:19,786
Ger off! Ger off! Ger off!
255
00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:21,866
Careful with the stock.
256
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,286
GER OFF!
257
00:15:26,066 --> 00:15:28,365
Now this time
on the count of three,
258
00:15:28,366 --> 00:15:30,725
you jump, we'll boost. Got that?
259
00:15:30,726 --> 00:15:33,206
I'm fed up with feeding slimmers.
260
00:15:34,406 --> 00:15:35,645
One!
261
00:15:35,646 --> 00:15:38,085
This business is gettin' my wick.
262
00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:40,965
Two! Supposing there's a guard dog.
263
00:15:40,966 --> 00:15:44,005
In there? They'd have eaten it.
264
00:15:44,006 --> 00:15:45,645
Ready?
265
00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:47,066
NO! Three!
266
00:16:15,386 --> 00:16:18,186
He's playing silly devils
Trying to frighten us.
267
00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:23,266
I think he's succeeding.
268
00:16:24,606 --> 00:16:27,026
It must be shrubbery over there.
269
00:16:29,586 --> 00:16:33,805
He couldn't hurt himself - landing
in the arms of a friendly bush.
270
00:16:33,806 --> 00:16:35,385
The ARMS?
271
00:16:35,386 --> 00:16:37,786
Maybe he got more the ELBOW.
272
00:16:38,866 --> 00:16:42,305
The thing is, normally,
when he injures himself,
273
00:16:42,306 --> 00:16:46,146
you can tell by this great rash
of four-letter words.
274
00:16:47,526 --> 00:16:50,305
I suppose there is LAND over there.
275
00:16:50,306 --> 00:16:53,786
We couldn't be on the edge of...
some old quarry?
276
00:16:55,586 --> 00:16:57,685
Shut up, man!
277
00:16:57,686 --> 00:17:01,726
I mean, h-h-h-how could we be
on the edge of an old quarry?
278
00:17:09,966 --> 00:17:13,725
Well, would you believe it?
You give a chap a little leg up
279
00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:15,945
and he goes shooting off into orbit!
280
00:17:15,946 --> 00:17:21,066
The FOOL. Well, it's the last time
I throw him over a wall.
281
00:17:56,006 --> 00:17:57,506
Are you al...? Oh!
282
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:14,866
Look.
283
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:24,085
Oh? Oh dear!
284
00:18:24,086 --> 00:18:26,925
Come 'ere, you low prawn!
285
00:18:26,926 --> 00:18:28,066
Come 'ere!
286
00:18:47,046 --> 00:18:49,305
It's not being used.
287
00:18:49,306 --> 00:18:54,846
We can set up our headquarters there
and make sorties to attract custom.
288
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:31,966
One, two, three, four, one, two,
three, four, one, two, three, four...
289
00:20:34,986 --> 00:20:36,245
Here you are.
290
00:20:36,246 --> 00:20:38,905
Hot pies! Mushy peas! Biscuits!
291
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,425
Let's 'ave your money.
Put it on the tray.
292
00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:44,266
One, two, three, four,
one, two, three, four...
293
00:20:46,986 --> 00:20:50,145
Oooh! Biscuits! Oooh! Ham!
294
00:20:50,146 --> 00:20:53,045
One - Two - Three - Four
One - Two - Three...
295
00:20:53,046 --> 00:20:55,506
Four - One.
296
00:21:39,826 --> 00:21:42,805
Haven't you ANYTHING
with fewer calories?
297
00:21:42,806 --> 00:21:44,346
Sorry.
298
00:21:58,186 --> 00:21:59,825
Pork?
299
00:21:59,826 --> 00:22:00,986
Yes.
300
00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:03,526
Thought it looked like pork.
301
00:22:03,926 --> 00:22:07,246
VERY attractive pie, I think.
302
00:22:08,246 --> 00:22:09,826
Pork.
303
00:22:10,366 --> 00:22:11,806
Very tasty.
304
00:22:12,066 --> 00:22:14,345
I like it
when you slice it in half...
305
00:22:14,346 --> 00:22:18,025
and you get the speckled effect
of tiny bits of red meat...
306
00:22:18,026 --> 00:22:21,246
and the delicate, translucent
whites of the fat.
307
00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,746
Give him a pie, for pity's sake!
308
00:22:26,246 --> 00:22:28,746
No! No! Please! You MUST not.
309
00:22:29,226 --> 00:22:32,605
What I want you to do
is to wait until I ask you...
310
00:22:32,606 --> 00:22:34,806
"How much is this pie?"
311
00:22:37,006 --> 00:22:38,586
Oooohhhh
312
00:22:42,366 --> 00:22:43,546
Then I want...
313
00:22:45,626 --> 00:22:48,285
Then I want you to quote me
a RIDICULOUS price.
314
00:22:48,286 --> 00:22:50,325
A totally EXTORTIONATE...
315
00:22:50,326 --> 00:22:52,865
INFLATIONARY, EXTORTIONATE...
316
00:22:52,866 --> 00:22:56,306
RIDICULOUS price
that not even a FOOL would pay.
317
00:23:00,966 --> 00:23:02,725
How much is this pie?
318
00:23:02,726 --> 00:23:04,005
£5.
319
00:23:04,006 --> 00:23:05,266
I'll pay it.
320
00:23:08,166 --> 00:23:10,346
Five quid!
321
00:23:11,386 --> 00:23:13,125
I've got this DEEP...
322
00:23:13,126 --> 00:23:16,665
lower bowel feeling of gloom
about these whole proceedings.
323
00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:19,806
You just have to look at it
as providing a service.
324
00:23:20,286 --> 00:23:22,366
It's better than backing gee-gees.
325
00:23:22,466 --> 00:23:25,685
We're tampering with elemental,
natural forces...
326
00:23:25,686 --> 00:23:27,445
and no good will come of it.
327
00:23:27,446 --> 00:23:29,105
Oh, yes it will!
328
00:23:29,106 --> 00:23:32,246
If we can only prize the money
outta nimble fingers.
329
00:23:32,566 --> 00:23:36,505
I'll share
it fairly at a convenient time and place.
330
00:23:36,506 --> 00:23:40,225
And at some distance from your
friendly local betting shop.
331
00:23:40,226 --> 00:23:43,125
Look I 'ave to bet my money
on the gee-gees.
332
00:23:43,126 --> 00:23:45,626
If not I just fritter it away!
333
00:23:46,346 --> 00:23:50,285
I'm thinking of those three in that
Western, smuggling guns to Indians.
334
00:23:50,286 --> 00:23:52,665
They thought they had a good thing.
335
00:23:52,666 --> 00:23:55,165
Next minute - in comes Geronimo...
336
00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:57,586
to give them a very short haircut.
337
00:23:58,086 --> 00:24:01,005
There's no Geronimo here.
338
00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:02,446
Caught you!
339
00:24:03,246 --> 00:24:05,026
Geronimo! Geronimo! Geronimo!
340
00:24:18,606 --> 00:24:19,866
Come on
341
00:24:20,646 --> 00:24:22,985
They'll never notice you in this.
342
00:24:22,986 --> 00:24:25,965
They should never
have noticed him in the summer house.
343
00:24:25,966 --> 00:24:27,946
It's quite obvious
somebody's squealed.
344
00:24:28,126 --> 00:24:32,366
Swine! If I catch him
I'll cut the string of his shorts.
345
00:24:33,526 --> 00:24:35,286
It could have been a woman.
346
00:24:35,466 --> 00:24:37,265
We shall find out, shan't we?
347
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,026
When we cut the string
of his shorts.
348
00:24:41,366 --> 00:24:45,305
'ey up! It reminds me
of that film. What film?
349
00:24:45,306 --> 00:24:49,505
Albert RN. He took the place
of a bloke what escaped.
350
00:24:49,506 --> 00:24:54,705
It's alright for Alex here and
Lapsley - but who's to be Celia?
351
00:24:54,706 --> 00:24:58,466
We'll just have to draw lots...
and lots - and lots.
352
00:24:59,526 --> 00:25:02,746
You can 'ave this for a start.
353
00:25:02,966 --> 00:25:07,466
And... you'll need this.
354
00:25:09,606 --> 00:25:10,646
Somebody's coming.
355
00:25:11,406 --> 00:25:14,026
Here, Lofty - get hold of that.
356
00:25:14,786 --> 00:25:18,745
Sauna time, boys and girls,
and after, a nice LONG run
357
00:25:18,746 --> 00:25:22,306
in the countryside. Oh, jolly!
Oh, jolly, jolly!
358
00:25:23,866 --> 00:25:26,925
All the best Thank you.
359
00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:28,026
A minute.
360
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:39,805
Hup - hup - hup - hup - hup - hup -
hup.
361
00:25:39,806 --> 00:25:42,386
Hup - hup - hup - hup - hup - hup.
362
00:25:59,926 --> 00:26:04,266
Oooh! Oh-oh! Oh, dear. Whew!
363
00:26:07,486 --> 00:26:09,386
Oh! Ah! Oooh! Aaah!
364
00:26:16,606 --> 00:26:18,946
I bet I've lost 10 lbs.
365
00:26:19,966 --> 00:26:22,506
I think we're down to about 30 bob.
366
00:26:23,046 --> 00:26:25,066
Our finances have caught a draught.
367
00:26:25,966 --> 00:26:28,545
I caught a draught in that sauna.
368
00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:34,625
'Ey, Norm. Did you see that bird
with the ENORMOUS..? That'll do.
369
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:37,426
She WAS trying to reduce them,
poor woman, wasn't she?
370
00:26:38,446 --> 00:26:42,365
Who was that dozy twit, who kept
flicking me with them twigs?!
371
00:26:42,366 --> 00:26:44,865
It was to improve your circulation.
372
00:26:44,866 --> 00:26:49,185
God know why, you'd already been
three times round that fat lady.
373
00:26:49,186 --> 00:26:52,385
Ah, well, I've had
some healthy exercise.
374
00:26:52,386 --> 00:26:56,385
And a mouthful of dirt.
Now we've got to traipse back
375
00:26:56,386 --> 00:26:59,266
for our lousy bikes
and the rest of our clobber!
376
00:27:00,366 --> 00:27:05,125
If you think that's suffering...
Try to think how the poor slimmer must have felt...
377
00:27:05,126 --> 00:27:07,866
who had to carry your socks back.
378
00:27:09,066 --> 00:27:12,165
I bet they made
little Lapsley do it.
379
00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:13,426
Trouble-maker!
380
00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:16,045
Oh, I liked him.
381
00:27:16,046 --> 00:27:18,125
There's still hope for the world...
382
00:27:18,126 --> 00:27:20,545
if it's full of timid little men.
383
00:27:20,546 --> 00:27:23,245
All right. You can take your hair
off now, Goldilocks..
384
00:27:23,246 --> 00:27:26,105
Not till I get my cap back.
385
00:27:26,106 --> 00:27:28,906
I've no intention
of catching a chill.
386
00:27:28,956 --> 00:27:33,506
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
29091
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.