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1
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,480
Here we are then. I knew it
as soon as I saw it on the map.
2
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,680
The ideal beginners' slope
for hang-gliding.
3
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,000
Down there?
You mean I've got to run down there?
4
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,840
Well, of course down there.
5
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,240
What kind of a hang-gliding
enthusiast runs uphill?
6
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,940
I'm going to start on the flat.
7
00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:52,520
It's a picturesque place
for an accident.
8
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,780
Aye, my flaming accident.
9
00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:58,080
Will you listen a minute?
10
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,360
I didn't select this place
just off the top of my head.
11
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,980
No, more like out of your...
Ah, ah, ah!
12
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:08,340
After very careful scrutiny of
the map I selected this place
13
00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:10,820
for the launching site for
several good reasons.
14
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:14,260
And I am rejecting it
for several good reasons.
15
00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:19,200
Couldn't he start with something
smaller, like just a broken leg?
16
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,000
We've got a gentle slope here.
17
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,800
If he fails to take off,
he can't break his neck.
18
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,640
Oh, I see.
19
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,560
It's only if I take off
I'm going to break my neck.
20
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,860
You're not going to break your neck.
21
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,500
It's all been calculated
to the final detail.
22
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,740
I shouldn't let him
use words like "final".
23
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,480
Oh, I'm fed up with
this hang-gliding.
24
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,000
What do you mean you're
fed up with hang-gliding?
25
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,360
You've not started yet.
26
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:50,820
Look, you'll be all right. You can't
bang into anything round here.
27
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:55,200
And if you do get airborne,
look at all the space you've got.
28
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,520
Not right up there.
29
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,760
I mean, you're not going that far.
30
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,600
And why aren't you going that far?
31
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,720
Because I'm going to sit here
on my fanny and not move.
32
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,160
I will have a safety line on you.
33
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,900
If you start to go too high,
34
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,640
we'll be able to
pull you down again.
35
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,940
How high is too high?
36
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:20,640
You name it. 5 ft 8.
37
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:25,780
You can't back out now,
not after Wally spent his time making your flying machine.
38
00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:29,840
He can always convert it
into another pigeon coop.
39
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:34,000
And what happens if I get flying
and land up in the reservoir?
40
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,360
That is the beauty of my whole plan.
41
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,640
Oh, aye?
42
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,400
The final safety factor.
There it is again.
43
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,120
That word, "final".
44
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,040
We don't like that word, "final".
Scrub that word, "final".
45
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,140
All right,
your ultimate safety factor.
46
00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:52,960
If you get airborne and something
goes wrong, then, bingo! Bingo?
47
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,000
What does he mean, bingo?
48
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,180
Clickety click, 66, I'm in a fix.
49
00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:02,840
No, I mean you'll land
nice and gently in the water instead of having a nasty crunch.
50
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,960
What he means is, that instead of
a nasty crunch you're going to drown
51
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,220
He's not going to drown.
52
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:17,560
Sid and Wally will be
standing by in the rescue boat.
53
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,960
You see?
Comprehensive safety planning.
54
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,900
Who's driving?
55
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,420
Does it matter?
56
00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:26,100
It does if it's Sid.
57
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,440
Have you seen him
driving his chip van?
58
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,240
Batter all over the pavement.
59
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,300
Don't worry about petty details.
60
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,480
The first thing we have
to do is try and transform
61
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,800
some of this bone idle flab
into serviceable working muscle.
62
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,760
Give over,
Wally's building me hang-glider.
63
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,780
I don't have to flap me arms.
64
00:03:44,780 --> 00:03:49,940
You can't go leaping up into
the wild blue yonder without a bit of preliminary exercise.
65
00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:54,920
He's power-mad.
66
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,300
I'm proud of you, kid.
67
00:03:57,300 --> 00:04:00,280
The first solo flight
across the reservoir.
68
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,660
The first solo flight
over Sid and Wally.
69
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,260
If only Nora could see me now.
70
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:12,420
With those holes in your
trousers, she probably has.
71
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:19,940
Ho ho ho.
72
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,020
Well, there we are then.
73
00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:26,740
Apparatus for the development
of sound shoulder muscles.
74
00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:29,760
Or to give it its less technical
title, a bit of rope and a ladder.
75
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,820
Now, up you get.
76
00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:34,560
Where? Where? Where do you think?
Grab hold of the ladder.
77
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,100
That's too high for me to reach.
78
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:39,300
Well, jump, you idle shower,
let yourself dangle from it.
79
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:43,160
Wow, this flying business is
more difficult than you think.
80
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,000
I can do it, Norm, I can do it.
81
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,280
I used to do a lot of this at school.
82
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:52,660
It's true, I remember. He was one
of the all-time great danglers.
83
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:56,200
It was algebra you used
to fall down at a lot.
84
00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:00,460
That really used to get on my nipple.
85
00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:04,120
"Find out what X equals."
How could you?
86
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,320
It were always something
flamin' different.
87
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,120
Get on with it. Right.
88
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,260
Why do people always do that? What?
89
00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:18,480
Hoist up their trousers
and spit on their hands.
90
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:22,560
You think they should spit on their
trousers and hoist up their hands?
91
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,140
It's a dirty habit.
92
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:29,880
Oh no, Foggy. Now, my dirtiest
habit... We do not want to know.
93
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,480
All right then, here we go.
94
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,680
Geronimo!
95
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,240
Right, what's next?
96
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,880
What a pathetic effort.
97
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,860
I can see we are in for
the aeronautical event of the year(! It's his back.
98
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:50,960
It's a lifetime spent
frittering away his substance on Woodbines and curious women.
99
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,220
Aye, my life's not been wasted.
Can we give him a lift up?
100
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:57,320
Well, I don't like
handling him unnecessarily.
101
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,940
That's because I'm scruffy, ain't it?
Only on the surface.
102
00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:04,460
The trouble is you've got
to lift him by the surface.
103
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:08,440
It's all go,
this hang-gliding, ain't it?
104
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,180
Right.
105
00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:13,320
Whatever you do,
don't look for a handle.
106
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,880
It's his back.
Ah, well, back to the drawing board.
107
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:31,220
No, if a thing is worth doing,
it's worth doing... Well...
108
00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:34,560
That's what I always say, Norm,
always put off till tomorrow
109
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,600
if you've got lumbered with it today.
110
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:41,000
Right.
111
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,720
Up!
112
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,440
Up, up, up, up!
113
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,100
Up, up!
114
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:50,340
Ah... Oh...
115
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,540
By heck, it's high up here.
116
00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:00,460
Spoken like a true astronaut.
117
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:04,780
A child of our time. His mother was
frightened by a rag-and-bone man.
118
00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:07,740
The result you can see there
dangling before your very eyes.
119
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:11,560
Hey, it sounds as if Wally's
arrived with the flying machine.
120
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:12,980
Don't leave me! Don't leave me!
121
00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:16,120
Oh, just let go,
you'll land on your feet. Where?
122
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,960
X marks the spot.
123
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,920
Norm! I know what X equals.
124
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,400
What? Help!
125
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,480
How do, Sid? How do, Wally?
126
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,820
How do?
127
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,080
Tha've made it, Wally?
128
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,520
Aye.
129
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,720
Does tha' think it'll fly?
130
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,020
Like a bird.
131
00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:44,040
When he says like a bird,
he means like a bird.
132
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:56,520
Clever, isn't it?
Well, it's different, Wally.
133
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,680
I like the colour.
134
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,640
It looks like a rotten pigeon.
135
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,440
It's what I know best, is pigeons.
136
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,400
And pigeons fly, don't they?
137
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,580
Oh aye, there's nobody
flies sweeter than a pigeon.
138
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:11,780
There you are, you see.
What did I tell you?
139
00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:15,700
I'm not going up in that.
140
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:19,400
Hey, are we going to take this
off my van roof or aren't we?
141
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,260
Oh, yes, of course we are.
142
00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,960
Don't worry about the pilot,
he doesn't really mean it.
143
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:29,960
It's the excitement.
You know how temperamental these pigeon fanciers are.
144
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,960
Pigeon.
145
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:35,980
The only advice I can give
is keep your head down
146
00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:40,960
and before you come in to land,
circle around the loft three times
147
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,100
to see if there's any cats about.
148
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:49,440
They're only joking, because
we're all green with envy that it's you that's going up and not us.
149
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,680
Ah yes, sure. I wish it was me.
150
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,620
Pigeon.
151
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:57,469
Why didn't he made one
to look like a ferret?
152
00:09:04,366 --> 00:09:07,826
Let me ask you a non-technical
question, Foggy.
153
00:09:07,826 --> 00:09:11,026
Don't blind me with science,
or that very enthusiastic,
154
00:09:11,026 --> 00:09:14,646
persuasive talk known outside
political circles as crap.
155
00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:19,566
In your opinion, honestly now,
156
00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:24,006
will there be any danger? No,
there'll be no danger whatsoever.
157
00:09:24,006 --> 00:09:25,846
I mean, how can we be in any danger?
158
00:09:25,846 --> 00:09:28,266
He's going up.
159
00:09:28,266 --> 00:09:30,686
Where's he gone? Where is he?
Are you coming, then?
160
00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:33,286
I'm coming, I'm coming.
161
00:09:33,286 --> 00:09:37,846
What I meant, Foggy, is, is there
going to be any danger for him?
162
00:09:37,846 --> 00:09:39,846
Oh, for him.
163
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,846
No, I shouldn't think so.
164
00:09:41,846 --> 00:09:43,486
Well, that's a relief.
165
00:09:43,486 --> 00:09:45,386
You can't wipe out his sort.
166
00:09:45,386 --> 00:09:49,726
One thing there's
never a shortage of is unemployed scruffy little twollops.
167
00:09:49,726 --> 00:09:55,586
Bear in mind, however high he goes,
I will be down here supervising all the safety precautions.
168
00:09:55,586 --> 00:09:58,186
How high do you think he'll go?
169
00:09:58,186 --> 00:10:02,246
Well, quite frankly,
I think we'll be lucky if we can get him above 50 feet.
170
00:10:02,246 --> 00:10:05,206
50 feet!
171
00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:08,206
How lucky can you get?
172
00:10:08,206 --> 00:10:11,726
Come on, if you're coming.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
173
00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:29,546
Where've you been?
174
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:34,926
Listen, big mouth, this is not
the easiest thing to take a leak in.
175
00:10:44,326 --> 00:10:49,026
Do you think I'll be all right?
Of course you'll be all right, we've got you this helmet, haven't we?
176
00:10:49,026 --> 00:10:51,166
Built to British standards.
177
00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:53,846
Made to withstand enormous impacts.
178
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,406
What enormous impacts?
179
00:10:58,406 --> 00:11:03,906
Well, it's a figure of speech
to make you realise how safe you are inside that helmet.
180
00:11:03,906 --> 00:11:09,286
Ah, yes, but there's only a little
bit of me inside that helmet. What about all the other bits?
181
00:11:09,286 --> 00:11:13,906
Exactly,
whatever happens you've got to take every care to land on your head.
182
00:11:16,766 --> 00:11:19,886
Look, we're going to swing you a bit
183
00:11:19,886 --> 00:11:22,546
to you get used
to the flying position.
184
00:11:22,546 --> 00:11:25,446
Now just spread your wings out,
will you?
185
00:11:25,446 --> 00:11:28,106
HE LAUGHS
186
00:11:28,106 --> 00:11:31,566
The doodlebug is alive and well
and living near Holmfirth.
187
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:48,686
So, where are we off to now, then?
188
00:11:48,686 --> 00:11:52,566
Well, to find a suitable tree
to swing you from
189
00:11:52,566 --> 00:11:56,786
so you can get accustomed
to the feeling of flying.
190
00:11:56,786 --> 00:11:59,106
Somewhere where there's
a bit more room.
191
00:11:59,106 --> 00:12:02,666
There wasn't really room enough in
the barn to swing you properly.
192
00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:04,246
That was the trouble.
193
00:12:04,246 --> 00:12:08,466
The trouble was you don't know
how to tie knots. Rubbish.
194
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:12,906
That's what I said,
you're supposed to type a reef knot and you've been tying rubbish.
195
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:15,566
The Dewhurst knot is
an unshakeable knot.
196
00:12:24,966 --> 00:12:27,206
(So the rabbit came
out of the hole...)
197
00:13:19,806 --> 00:13:23,586
Right, I think I've got the hang
of it now. You can let me down.
198
00:13:27,986 --> 00:13:30,966
I said, I've got the hang of it now.
199
00:13:30,966 --> 00:13:33,226
You lay on the back in the grass,
200
00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:35,826
you squint up into the sky,
201
00:13:35,826 --> 00:13:37,846
and it's full of mystery.
202
00:13:37,846 --> 00:13:42,986
And you can't help
wondering if you got any creepy-crawlies in your hair.
203
00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:45,386
Creepy-crawlies?
204
00:13:45,386 --> 00:13:47,326
You don't get much
in that line here.
205
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:50,166
You have to go abroad
to get the real monsters.
206
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:52,866
I say, I'm ready for down now.
207
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,966
I've seen spiders
as big as Shetland ponies.
208
00:13:57,886 --> 00:14:02,286
If they trod on you,
you'd be limping for a week, never mind the bite.
209
00:14:02,286 --> 00:14:03,786
They used to bite then?
210
00:14:03,786 --> 00:14:06,306
I thought from the size
you're describing,
211
00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:08,546
maybe they used to
crush you to death.
212
00:14:08,546 --> 00:14:11,466
My old woman can't stand spiders.
213
00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:15,466
And heavy drinkers.
No, she can't stand heavy drinkers.
214
00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:17,566
The world's full of prejudice.
215
00:14:19,146 --> 00:14:21,966
Right, I've got the hang of it now.
216
00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:24,466
I'm ready for down.
217
00:14:24,466 --> 00:14:26,946
Was her father a heavy drinker?
218
00:14:26,946 --> 00:14:28,946
He used to play the accordion.
219
00:14:28,946 --> 00:14:31,746
There's no excuse for that.
220
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:34,866
I once went down to inspect
this sentry in the jungle
221
00:14:34,866 --> 00:14:37,186
and the spider had got him.
222
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:39,626
Tha's never been near a jungle.
223
00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:41,546
I'm ready for down now.
224
00:14:41,546 --> 00:14:43,506
And underneath that
this poor sentry...
225
00:14:43,506 --> 00:14:45,726
Never mind the rotten sentry!
226
00:14:45,726 --> 00:14:47,806
..was this fragment
of his paybook...
227
00:14:47,806 --> 00:14:53,686
Get me down! ..and one
twisted round of 303 ammunition.
228
00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:54,766
Oh...!
229
00:14:54,766 --> 00:14:57,186
Get me down!
230
00:15:06,186 --> 00:15:08,746
Get me down! I'm not a flaming yo-yo.
231
00:15:08,746 --> 00:15:12,546
I want to be up there flying,
not dangling about like this.
232
00:15:12,546 --> 00:15:18,026
You rotten lot. I know you're there.
233
00:15:18,026 --> 00:15:22,126
It's no use hiding. Or keeping quiet.
234
00:15:22,126 --> 00:15:24,286
It is me biggie.
235
00:15:24,286 --> 00:15:28,046
I am going to fly, I tell you.
I am going to fly. I'm going to fly.
236
00:15:28,046 --> 00:15:29,026
I'm going to fly!
237
00:15:30,946 --> 00:15:33,526
And fly. And fly!
238
00:15:34,886 --> 00:15:37,186
What's the matter with you lot?
239
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,386
Haven't you seen anybody
flying before?
240
00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:55,306
Oh, I'm looking for a short fellah
with a guilty expression.
241
00:15:55,306 --> 00:15:57,546
The one you married? That's him.
242
00:15:57,546 --> 00:16:00,926
He's not been in.
I'll kill him when I find him.
243
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:04,206
If you can find mine
while you're at it, we'll make it a double event.
244
00:16:04,206 --> 00:16:06,546
Has your has gone as well?
245
00:16:06,546 --> 00:16:08,586
He got clean away
when I was on the phone.
246
00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:10,826
Ooh, they're evil!
247
00:16:10,826 --> 00:16:12,726
Really low down evil.
248
00:16:12,726 --> 00:16:15,846
How come you let yours
slip his leash?
249
00:16:15,846 --> 00:16:19,146
I've always thought of you as
a model of advanced husband training.
250
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:22,366
Well, he's usually more obedient.
251
00:16:22,366 --> 00:16:25,826
They gain your confidence, and
then the next minute they've gone.
252
00:16:25,826 --> 00:16:29,186
You know where they've gone?
They're heading for the hills.
253
00:16:29,186 --> 00:16:33,866
Oh no, he wouldn't leave me
permanently, not my Wally.
254
00:16:33,866 --> 00:16:35,746
He's too dependent.
255
00:16:35,746 --> 00:16:37,646
Defenceless.
256
00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:39,806
Thick.
257
00:16:39,806 --> 00:16:42,086
I don't mean permanently.
258
00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:45,226
He knows a lifetime together
means something.
259
00:16:45,226 --> 00:16:47,946
He knows it means I'd kill him.
260
00:16:47,946 --> 00:16:51,466
They'd gone to watch
Compo Simmonite hang-gliding.
261
00:16:51,466 --> 00:16:53,126
Eh? Can you imagine?
262
00:16:53,126 --> 00:16:57,086
The birds will think the scarecrows
have started coming up after them.
263
00:17:00,046 --> 00:17:02,126
Your Wally made him a kite thing.
264
00:17:02,126 --> 00:17:04,646
Well, the little swine.
265
00:17:04,646 --> 00:17:06,986
He's never got time to
make me an ironing board.
266
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:09,546
Well, it could be worse.
267
00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,646
At least they're not
chasing after women.
268
00:17:11,646 --> 00:17:17,186
Oh no, he's never done that.
He's not that way inclined, my Wally
269
00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:19,806
Oh, he has gained your confidence,
hasn't he?
270
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,746
He's never been wayward
in terms of the flesh.
271
00:17:22,746 --> 00:17:24,326
Well, they don't have to be.
272
00:17:24,326 --> 00:17:27,906
I'm not suggesting your Wally
is anything desperate in...
273
00:17:27,906 --> 00:17:32,086
Shall we say, close encounters
of the most common kind.
274
00:17:32,086 --> 00:17:34,466
He's very well-balanced in that way.
275
00:17:34,466 --> 00:17:39,446
I've never found him
excessively demanding.
276
00:17:39,446 --> 00:17:42,086
I can believe that.
277
00:17:42,086 --> 00:17:48,086
If you start as you mean to go on,
you'll get no bother, I find.
278
00:17:48,086 --> 00:17:49,666
To tell you the truth,
279
00:17:49,666 --> 00:17:54,826
he could always be sidetracked with
an inquiry regarding his pigeons.
280
00:17:54,826 --> 00:17:57,666
Yes, it's nice when
they've got another hobby.
281
00:18:05,986 --> 00:18:10,006
Eh up! Make sure
there's no lumps in it!
282
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,126
There's no lumps in it.
283
00:18:12,126 --> 00:18:15,926
It will be like landing
on a feather bed.
284
00:18:15,926 --> 00:18:21,266
Impressive, Foggy, how steady you
are in the face of danger, to him.
285
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,126
He's in no danger.
286
00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:25,106
It's a bit high up here.
287
00:18:25,106 --> 00:18:26,646
Oh, shut up.
288
00:18:26,646 --> 00:18:28,086
Eat your corn.
289
00:18:30,146 --> 00:18:32,886
I shall be looking after your
safety every inch of the way.
290
00:18:34,566 --> 00:18:37,866
You think it's funny,
don't you? Funny?
291
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,426
Heavens, no.
292
00:18:41,026 --> 00:18:45,586
It will be a different tale
when I've broken the Huddersfield altitude record.
293
00:18:45,586 --> 00:18:47,886
You'll not be laughing then.
294
00:18:47,886 --> 00:18:50,326
Have you really thought about this?
295
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:55,726
Are you sure you want to
go soaring up there, beyond the reach of social security?
296
00:18:55,726 --> 00:18:58,906
I'm going to fly, I tell you.
297
00:18:58,906 --> 00:19:01,066
I'm going to fly.
298
00:19:01,066 --> 00:19:02,946
Way up, kid!
299
00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:06,726
Way up into the wild blue yon...
Ooh!
300
00:19:14,526 --> 00:19:18,826
Just sit on your perch a minute
until I give you the signal.
301
00:19:18,826 --> 00:19:22,686
Crack a nut in your beak
or something.
302
00:19:22,686 --> 00:19:28,226
Just try to remember
that this is not a flight, it's just a jump from a barn roof.
303
00:19:28,226 --> 00:19:33,686
Listen, why don't we
have a wander round and see if we can find a smaller barn?
304
00:19:33,686 --> 00:19:36,446
What he wants is
a biggish dog kennel.
305
00:19:36,446 --> 00:19:39,266
Who do we know with
a biggish dog kennel?
306
00:19:39,266 --> 00:19:42,126
You're not going to
chicken out now, are you?
307
00:19:42,126 --> 00:19:45,286
Well, he's all dressed for it.
308
00:19:45,286 --> 00:19:48,306
I want to be a flyer,
not a rotten jumper.
309
00:19:48,306 --> 00:19:51,766
But you've got to have
the proper training.
310
00:19:51,766 --> 00:19:55,466
You don't think the Wright
Brothers went up in the air straightaway, do you?
311
00:19:55,466 --> 00:19:58,346
They were jumping off
barns all over America.
312
00:19:58,346 --> 00:20:01,546
They were? Certainly.
313
00:20:01,546 --> 00:20:03,206
People thought they were crazy.
314
00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:06,406
You know, thud, grunt,
"Hello, it's the Wright Brothers."
315
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,306
But it paid off in
the end, didn't it?
316
00:20:08,306 --> 00:20:13,006
They had the most famous
broken legs in America.
317
00:20:13,006 --> 00:20:14,666
Don't spoil it.
318
00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:16,706
I'm trying to psych him up to it.
319
00:20:16,706 --> 00:20:20,226
I never knew the Wright
Brothers jumped off barns.
320
00:20:20,226 --> 00:20:22,366
What do you think
he needs at the moment -
321
00:20:22,366 --> 00:20:25,866
the truth, or a bit of
exaggeration to cheer him up?
322
00:20:25,866 --> 00:20:28,686
I think he needs
the Wright Brothers.
323
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,166
Right, I'll do it.
324
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:33,426
I'm all cycled up. I'm ready then.
325
00:20:33,426 --> 00:20:35,826
That's my boy.
326
00:20:35,826 --> 00:20:37,286
Looking good.
327
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:42,166
I'm feeling wa-hey!
328
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:43,946
Well, stand clear, then!
329
00:20:43,946 --> 00:20:46,086
All clear.
330
00:20:46,086 --> 00:20:51,446
Now, when I shout "geronimo", you'll
know I'm on me way. What's he say?
331
00:20:51,446 --> 00:20:55,486
He said it when he shouts
"geranium", you'll know he's on his way.
332
00:20:55,486 --> 00:20:59,206
Geronimo. Sorry.
333
00:20:59,206 --> 00:21:01,906
Well, just get on with it.
What's it matter what you shout?
334
00:21:01,906 --> 00:21:03,906
Are you joking?
335
00:21:03,906 --> 00:21:07,206
I'm going to look a right jessie
shouting "geranium".
336
00:21:20,626 --> 00:21:22,406
Geronimo!
337
00:21:35,126 --> 00:21:36,846
You'll have to come up and get me.
338
00:21:45,006 --> 00:21:46,506
Well, there you are, you see.
339
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:49,526
Nothing left to chance. Sid and
Wally standing by in the rescue boat.
340
00:21:49,526 --> 00:21:52,866
And a right dozy pair
in a boat, they are.
341
00:21:52,866 --> 00:21:57,526
Better than nothing. And you'll
be attached to me by this lifeline.
342
00:21:57,526 --> 00:21:59,826
Have you tied
a proper knot this time?
343
00:21:59,826 --> 00:22:01,866
Of course I've tied a proper knot.
344
00:22:01,866 --> 00:22:04,646
You'll be
anchored to me at all times.
345
00:22:04,646 --> 00:22:07,266
I'll pull you down if you
look like you're going too high.
346
00:22:07,266 --> 00:22:09,286
Is it all over?
Can I open my eyes now?
347
00:22:10,866 --> 00:22:13,766
He hasn't started yet. Oh God.
348
00:22:13,766 --> 00:22:16,706
We're waiting for
a ready signal from the boat.
349
00:22:16,706 --> 00:22:18,866
Go on then, somebody,
give them a wave.
350
00:22:18,866 --> 00:22:22,126
I'm not letting go of this boat.
351
00:22:22,126 --> 00:22:23,926
Somebody's got to give them a wave.
352
00:22:26,726 --> 00:22:29,006
Don't start waving,
you're going to have us over.
353
00:22:29,006 --> 00:22:32,106
If we're not going to wave,
maybe one of us can give them a shout.
354
00:22:33,746 --> 00:22:37,686
Shout steady, then.
355
00:22:37,686 --> 00:22:39,646
Ready in the boat!
356
00:22:40,706 --> 00:22:42,606
Ready in the boat!
357
00:22:42,606 --> 00:22:44,906
They MUST be ready in the boat.
358
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:47,466
Now, remember the Wright Brothers.
359
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:49,966
Coincidentally, they're both dead.
360
00:22:49,966 --> 00:22:54,006
He'll be all right.
It's not as though he's married. Who's going to miss him?
361
00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:55,986
Sid and Wally for a start.
362
00:22:55,986 --> 00:22:58,166
Are me trousers fast?
363
00:22:58,166 --> 00:23:00,106
Oh, stop worrying.
364
00:23:00,106 --> 00:23:02,446
I've seen to everything personally.
365
00:23:02,446 --> 00:23:07,946
I hope they're not too fast,
it's going to be embarrassing if they get back here before he does.
366
00:23:07,946 --> 00:23:09,586
What are they doing now?
367
00:23:09,586 --> 00:23:11,326
I don't know.
368
00:23:11,326 --> 00:23:14,526
It looks as though somebody's
just started his motor.
369
00:23:16,406 --> 00:23:18,406
Here, sit still.
370
00:23:18,406 --> 00:23:20,046
I am sitting still.
371
00:23:20,046 --> 00:23:22,886
Well, sit still stiller.
372
00:23:25,146 --> 00:23:26,766
Steady!
373
00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:29,486
Go!
374
00:23:47,506 --> 00:23:48,806
Oh no!
375
00:24:03,446 --> 00:24:04,946
Are you ready?
376
00:24:04,946 --> 00:24:06,486
Steady?
377
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:08,546
Go!
378
00:24:21,806 --> 00:24:22,886
Not too fast!
379
00:24:31,666 --> 00:24:34,086
Well done!
380
00:25:03,266 --> 00:25:06,026
Just look at that,
they've gone home.
381
00:25:06,026 --> 00:25:08,306
Charming.
We could have been drowned.
382
00:25:08,306 --> 00:25:09,846
We are drowned.
383
00:25:09,846 --> 00:25:12,266
What am I going to tell my old lass?
384
00:25:12,266 --> 00:25:15,426
There's nobody who can
tell your lass anything.
385
00:25:15,426 --> 00:25:20,546
Give her her due, she was very gentle
with me on my wedding night.
386
00:25:22,026 --> 00:25:24,286
I bet they're in the pub already,
having a pint.
387
00:25:24,286 --> 00:25:29,346
All right, so they weren't going to
stop and rescue us, but they could have at least waved us goodbye.
388
00:25:31,126 --> 00:25:33,726
I don't like this way.
389
00:25:33,726 --> 00:25:38,166
Well, you'll be all right. This time
you'll have enough forward speed.
390
00:25:40,486 --> 00:25:44,546
Drive to that wall
as fast as you can.
391
00:25:44,546 --> 00:25:48,126
When it brakes, you will
continue straight on over the wall.
392
00:25:49,946 --> 00:25:55,506
Geranium! Geronimo. Sorry.
393
00:25:55,506 --> 00:25:57,586
Come on, let's get on with it.
394
00:25:57,586 --> 00:25:59,126
Go, go, go.
395
00:25:59,126 --> 00:26:01,126
IGNITION GRINDS
396
00:26:18,626 --> 00:26:20,726
Oh, you're looking fine.
397
00:26:45,826 --> 00:26:48,446
You flaming lunatic!
398
00:26:48,446 --> 00:26:51,666
What are you two doing
walking on the runway?!
399
00:26:51,666 --> 00:26:54,586
Get your wing out of my ribs!
400
00:26:54,586 --> 00:26:57,186
Just get your wing out of my ribs!
401
00:26:57,186 --> 00:26:59,366
At least his trousers
stayed up this time.
402
00:26:59,366 --> 00:27:02,186
That's the first time I've
ever seen him from underneath.
403
00:27:02,186 --> 00:27:05,586
It's not natural. From that
angle, it could be anybody.
404
00:27:05,586 --> 00:27:07,166
Even a southerner.
405
00:27:11,006 --> 00:27:14,066
You rotten lot.
You knew it wouldn't work.
406
00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:16,346
It took the Wright Brothers years.
407
00:27:16,346 --> 00:27:18,986
Now, listen, I've got an idea...
408
00:27:18,986 --> 00:27:20,926
Hmph!
409
00:28:01,606 --> 00:28:05,506
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410
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