Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:35,588 --> 00:00:39,867
How long's Foggy been away?
Four days. When's he due back?
2
00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:43,007
Oh, about ten days. Stop whittling.
3
00:00:43,008 --> 00:00:45,007
He's only just got there.
4
00:00:45,008 --> 00:00:47,127
Supposing he marries her.
5
00:00:47,128 --> 00:00:50,707
Then she'll have to excel
at knot-tying and map-reading.
6
00:00:50,708 --> 00:00:52,727
He'd better watch out.
7
00:00:52,728 --> 00:00:54,347
Don't panic!
8
00:00:54,348 --> 00:00:57,387
They just hold hands. Is that all?
9
00:00:57,388 --> 00:01:03,247
It gives them both the illusion of
romance without any of the disadvantages
10
00:01:03,248 --> 00:01:07,488
of actually spending
their lives together. Ow!
11
00:01:11,808 --> 00:01:14,128
I wish I'd just kept
my legs together.
12
00:01:15,288 --> 00:01:16,888
It's all right. Oh!
13
00:01:34,748 --> 00:01:37,168
It was good of you
to push my mother-in-law.
14
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:44,067
I don't know why we've come
all this way to stare at ducks, I don't really.
15
00:01:44,068 --> 00:01:45,967
It's lovely out here, Nan.
16
00:01:45,968 --> 00:01:49,628
When you've seen one duck
you've seen them all, specially from behind.
17
00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:54,147
I always think
it's romantic out here.
18
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:59,128
What are you thinking of,
staring out over the water with your soulful English eyes?
19
00:02:02,048 --> 00:02:03,548
I was wondering,
20
00:02:05,468 --> 00:02:10,928
if we took the brake off your
mother-in-law, would the water completely cover her chair?
21
00:02:13,108 --> 00:02:14,187
Come again!
22
00:02:14,188 --> 00:02:16,247
I think it's a great idea.
23
00:02:16,248 --> 00:02:18,327
Ivy's got to visit
her sister in Wales.
24
00:02:18,328 --> 00:02:22,287
We could drive her down
and leave her at her sister's for what, 12, 15 months?
25
00:02:22,288 --> 00:02:24,987
Just a few hours will do, thank you.
26
00:02:24,988 --> 00:02:30,067
We could drop her at her sister's
and the three of us carry on the extra few miles, collect Foggy.
27
00:02:30,068 --> 00:02:34,007
We could even spend
the day with him and get my little woman here safely back.
28
00:02:34,008 --> 00:02:36,987
But not necessarily
before closing time.
29
00:02:36,988 --> 00:02:38,967
What are you driving me in?
30
00:02:38,968 --> 00:02:41,547
In the van. Oh, no, you're not!
31
00:02:41,548 --> 00:02:43,507
I'm not turning up at our Maureen's,
32
00:02:43,508 --> 00:02:48,127
being dropped off like a sack of
spuds from that ratty old van. You can sit in the front.
33
00:02:48,128 --> 00:02:49,947
Oh, thank you very much!
34
00:02:49,948 --> 00:02:51,747
I can have the best spot, can I?
35
00:02:51,748 --> 00:02:54,947
Over the sunshine floor.
36
00:02:54,948 --> 00:02:57,847
Almost the last of the
convertibles, our van.
37
00:02:57,848 --> 00:03:01,987
The roof stays put but you can slide
back the floor damn near everywhere.
38
00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:04,248
Why don't we hire a car?
39
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:10,448
Oh, well, I just thought
I'd throw it in as an idea.
40
00:03:13,848 --> 00:03:18,227
They're coming to collect me
on Wednesday.
41
00:03:18,228 --> 00:03:19,887
They've hired a car.
42
00:03:19,888 --> 00:03:22,608
That's nice, love,
I'd like to meet your friends.
43
00:03:24,228 --> 00:03:26,847
Ah, perhaps I ought to tell you
about one of them.
44
00:03:26,848 --> 00:03:28,867
He's a bit... Oh, poor dove.
45
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:31,927
He's quite happy. That's nice.
46
00:03:31,928 --> 00:03:35,727
He's perfectly happy. It's just
the rest of us he makes miserable.
47
00:03:35,728 --> 00:03:38,807
What can you do? We're lumbered
with him. You know how it is,
48
00:03:38,808 --> 00:03:41,207
you can't have him put down.
Good heavens, no!
49
00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:42,908
I know, we made inquiries.
50
00:03:44,728 --> 00:03:48,087
Whatever you do,
keep your eyes above his belt.
51
00:03:48,088 --> 00:03:54,207
I'll try. It's never advisable to
look too closely at his trousers.
52
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:56,507
I couldn't anyway, love.
53
00:03:56,508 --> 00:03:59,407
Not without my reading glasses.
54
00:03:59,408 --> 00:04:02,287
It's just that he's a bit careless
about his buttons.
55
00:04:02,288 --> 00:04:05,328
When I say careless,
I mean criminally negligent.
56
00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:11,168
Try not to scream if you see
anything move inside his trousers.
57
00:04:12,748 --> 00:04:15,387
He keeps ferrets in his pocket.
58
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:19,328
I think the worst thing
for a stranger is when he tries to feed them.
59
00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:25,408
Don't worry, love. I'm a widow,
not a shy young girl like yourself.
60
00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:30,528
We shall have to keep him away
from your late husband's mother.
61
00:04:31,608 --> 00:04:34,327
Where is she? Having a lie-down.
62
00:04:34,328 --> 00:04:37,987
She likes to close here eyes
and sharpen her tongue in darkness.
63
00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:40,888
What can you do?
You can't have them put down!
64
00:04:42,468 --> 00:04:44,247
She doesn't like me.
65
00:04:44,248 --> 00:04:46,867
She's an old woman, love,
give her time.
66
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,747
If she's an old woman,
how much more time has she got?
67
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:52,187
She could have years yet.
68
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:54,027
That's true.
69
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:58,387
Gwen, are you there? Are you there?
70
00:04:58,388 --> 00:05:00,528
Yes, Nan, I'm here.
71
00:05:01,348 --> 00:05:03,027
What are you doing?
72
00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:06,048
A bit of gardening, love.
73
00:05:10,828 --> 00:05:12,707
Hey!
74
00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:15,387
This is a bit of all right, Cleggy.
75
00:05:15,388 --> 00:05:19,427
I wonder how far she'll go.
Don't interrupt him while he's concentrating.
76
00:05:19,428 --> 00:05:21,987
He doesn't know where
all the switches are yet.
77
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,467
It's not the first car
I've driven, you know.
78
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:33,267
That's the trouble with these
hired cars. Some damned idiot's been confusing his gears.
79
00:05:33,268 --> 00:05:36,507
After this next car, Clegg,
there's a gap after this next car.
80
00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:40,368
It's all right, I can see it.
Put your foot down, Cleggy.
81
00:05:46,448 --> 00:05:50,707
Some fool's assembled
this gear box back to front.
82
00:05:50,708 --> 00:05:53,807
Some fool's assembled
you back to front.
83
00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:58,147
Look, after we've scraped that
garage attendant off the pavement,
84
00:05:58,148 --> 00:06:00,328
why don't we go by bus?
85
00:06:37,348 --> 00:06:40,427
Where've you been?
86
00:06:40,428 --> 00:06:44,707
We've just had
a slow motion nightmare. Sshh!
87
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,767
Isn't he a good driver?
88
00:06:46,768 --> 00:06:49,267
Good? I've never seen
anyone take so much care.
89
00:06:49,268 --> 00:06:53,187
Oh, aye, it takes him
20 minutes to change gear.
90
00:06:53,188 --> 00:06:56,087
I'm not going
if he's not a good driver.
91
00:06:56,088 --> 00:07:01,907
Do you think I'd let you go with
anyone who wasn't a good driver? Why don't you drive?
92
00:07:01,908 --> 00:07:06,367
He's hired it.
You mean you want to get tanked up while I'm at Maureen's.
93
00:07:06,368 --> 00:07:12,147
Sometimes, I get this impression
you don't actually trust me. Would you like it in writing?
94
00:07:12,148 --> 00:07:14,027
Mind you, it's only an impression.
95
00:07:14,028 --> 00:07:18,688
There's nothing I could put my
finger on, which is not a bad description of our love life.
96
00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:23,307
Did you lock that back door?
97
00:07:26,428 --> 00:07:29,707
Ay-up, here come Speedy Gonzalez.
98
00:07:29,708 --> 00:07:33,647
It's just a matter of familiarising
oneself with the controls.
99
00:07:33,648 --> 00:07:38,527
Oh, aye, so we can go hurtling
past parked cars at 7mph.
100
00:07:38,528 --> 00:07:41,527
Keep your voice down.
Try and think positively.
101
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,887
We don't want any last minute
changes of plans, do we?
102
00:07:44,888 --> 00:07:48,227
Don't we? A, Ivy would be
terribly disappointed...
103
00:07:48,228 --> 00:07:51,167
That's true... and, B, I'd kill you.
104
00:07:51,168 --> 00:07:55,387
It's always interesting to hear
the other person's point of view.
105
00:07:55,388 --> 00:07:58,047
I'm not too confident at the wheel.
106
00:07:58,048 --> 00:08:05,487
My driving style belongs to
an earlier age. A sort of quaint, ye olde English early suicidal.
107
00:08:05,488 --> 00:08:11,707
Proprietor, have we time for a cup
of tea and some thin buttered toast before we head for the open road?
108
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,468
Not really! Oh!
109
00:08:16,108 --> 00:08:20,667
Ay-up, that's looking
very tasty, Ivy.
110
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:25,427
You know,
I get this sudden urge sometimes, to run off with a married woman.
111
00:08:25,428 --> 00:08:27,287
You're not running off with me!
112
00:08:27,288 --> 00:08:29,728
See, she won't even consider it.
113
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,868
I like your hat, Ivy.
114
00:08:39,428 --> 00:08:45,627
You know, normally I've always
thought of your Ivy as a non-starter when it came to the romantic stakes.
115
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:48,707
She stomps about here in her apron
full of gob.
116
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:50,647
It's like being in the hospital.
117
00:08:50,648 --> 00:08:53,387
Suddenly she is transformed.
118
00:08:53,388 --> 00:08:59,467
I can tell you,
if I were an oil sheikh, I'd have one like her on my domestic team.
119
00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:02,608
A good solid lass
that can hold a tackle. Oh!
120
00:09:29,728 --> 00:09:34,367
I could spend the rest of
my life fixing your seatbelt.
121
00:09:34,368 --> 00:09:37,167
Give us a kiss. Go away!
122
00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:39,568
Get in the car. Let's be on our way.
123
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,448
What are you hiding in there for?
124
00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:10,307
I think it's everybody's duty
to avoid an accident.
125
00:10:10,308 --> 00:10:13,367
You'll be all right
by the time you've gone a few miles.
126
00:10:13,368 --> 00:10:14,748
It'll all come back to you.
127
00:10:20,588 --> 00:10:24,027
You can't go through life
just thinking about yourself.
128
00:10:24,028 --> 00:10:26,787
I bet if you work on it,
it's possible. What about me?
129
00:10:26,788 --> 00:10:28,727
A few stolen moments off the leash.
130
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,427
We paid for the car.
131
00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:34,867
I was hoping to get round
some of those Welsh barmaids. All right. Don't go to pieces.
132
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:39,947
I suppose I'd best do it if you plan
to use your time so productively.
133
00:10:39,948 --> 00:10:43,747
Come on, Cleggy,
get your finger out.
134
00:10:43,748 --> 00:10:46,368
Come on! We don't want
to get behind schedule.
135
00:11:32,702 --> 00:11:36,361
Here, get your finger off Llandudno.
136
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:40,541
You've left chocolate finger marks. I
thought it was a range of mountains.
137
00:11:40,542 --> 00:11:42,301
You are lost, aren't you?
138
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,141
Come on, come on, admit it.
139
00:11:44,142 --> 00:11:45,881
You are lost!
140
00:11:45,882 --> 00:11:48,581
No, I am not lost entirely.
141
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:52,181
I just wanted to calculate the most
appropriate route.
142
00:11:52,182 --> 00:11:54,781
I've got this car sickness feeling.
143
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,042
Quite magical.
144
00:11:56,942 --> 00:11:59,221
You missed your chip van!
145
00:11:59,222 --> 00:12:01,141
He's not fit to drive.
146
00:12:01,142 --> 00:12:03,961
I'm fit because I've paid.
147
00:12:03,962 --> 00:12:06,041
There's a book of road maps here.
148
00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:10,701
Don't spoil our fun, Ivy. It's
more exciting by Ordnance Survey.
149
00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:14,541
Let me know, Ivy, if you want
me to adjust your chastity belt.
150
00:12:14,542 --> 00:12:16,261
Get out!
151
00:12:16,262 --> 00:12:18,762
We've got to get ourselves
orientated. Come on!
152
00:12:20,382 --> 00:12:28,181
We've got to line it up
until the north of this map coincides with the north in reality.
153
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,721
Welsh north?
154
00:12:29,722 --> 00:12:31,461
It's the same north.
155
00:12:31,462 --> 00:12:34,641
A land of thin sliced ham
and eternal lettuce.
156
00:12:34,642 --> 00:12:37,101
We had a kid in the army
what was Welsh.
157
00:12:37,102 --> 00:12:40,601
War does these things to people.
The Jerries took him prisoner.
158
00:12:40,602 --> 00:12:44,981
They wouldn't know he wasn't
English. Will you grab hold of the map?
159
00:12:44,982 --> 00:12:46,602
You too, Sidney. Come on!
160
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,242
Now move it around.
161
00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:57,501
Where is this road
you keep rabbiting about?
162
00:12:57,502 --> 00:12:59,421
Well, we've got to find the sun.
163
00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:01,861
At this time of the day,
164
00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:06,501
north will be almost
opposite the sun.
165
00:13:06,502 --> 00:13:10,381
What, down there? You mean
north is down past me wellies?
166
00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:14,662
Kindly humour me by rotating the map.
167
00:13:21,722 --> 00:13:24,521
'Ay! When you look at men,
168
00:13:24,522 --> 00:13:29,802
'is it any wonder that some
women prefer miniature poodles?'
169
00:13:33,302 --> 00:13:38,281
Stand still! This is almost
better than knowing where we are.
170
00:13:38,282 --> 00:13:42,721
Twist the map gently. There it is!
171
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,582
I've seen it. Bangalore!
172
00:13:48,802 --> 00:13:53,242
We go straight on for three miles
to the next major road and then we turn left.
173
00:14:01,902 --> 00:14:04,742
Oh, they're very late.
174
00:14:05,802 --> 00:14:09,061
I'd have thought Sid could
have kept them on schedule.
175
00:14:09,062 --> 00:14:15,061
They can be handled, provided you
always treated it as an exercise in the art of escorting prisoners.
176
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:17,181
The scruffy one
needs a very firm hand.
177
00:14:17,182 --> 00:14:20,722
The trouble with him is,
there are so very few places you'd care to put it.
178
00:14:23,542 --> 00:14:26,621
What are you looking for?
Oh, she wants her music.
179
00:14:26,622 --> 00:14:30,181
She can't find the tune her
grandfather wrote. Oh, what a pity.
180
00:14:30,182 --> 00:14:33,641
Oh, it'll be here somewhere.
Oh, that's a relief.
181
00:14:33,642 --> 00:14:35,701
Perhaps they won't have brought him.
182
00:14:35,702 --> 00:14:38,301
Oh no, they will have brought
him, you can't get rid of him.
183
00:14:38,302 --> 00:14:41,641
Oh God, he will be worth 1,000
votes to the Welsh Nationalists.
184
00:14:44,262 --> 00:14:46,681
By gum, she's got the
rhythm, hasn't she?
185
00:14:46,682 --> 00:14:49,281
And she does that entirely by ear.
186
00:14:49,282 --> 00:14:51,981
Yes, Nan, what is it, love?
187
00:14:55,202 --> 00:14:57,061
She says there's a car.
188
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,181
Oh, it's them.
189
00:14:59,182 --> 00:15:04,762
They're here. Look, go...
go and head her off before the scruffy one gets out of the car.
190
00:15:10,422 --> 00:15:14,941
I'm telling you,
it's that one next door.
191
00:15:14,942 --> 00:15:17,441
Ignore him, Clegg, it's
the one you've just left.
192
00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:19,262
Will you make up your mind?
193
00:15:52,682 --> 00:15:55,542
Eh-up, now then, Foggy!
194
00:15:58,822 --> 00:16:00,481
You're under observation.
195
00:16:00,482 --> 00:16:02,681
Try and talk without
opening your mouth.
196
00:16:02,682 --> 00:16:06,181
Never thought I'd see you
like this, Foggy, in Wales.
197
00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:10,081
Stay in your seats,
don't let HIM out.
198
00:16:10,082 --> 00:16:12,442
Quite an enjoyable run, really.
199
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,201
You got any beer in, Foggy?
200
00:16:16,202 --> 00:16:18,141
I could murder a pint.
201
00:16:18,142 --> 00:16:20,961
Look at him, couldn't you
have got him done up a bit?
202
00:16:20,962 --> 00:16:24,421
Well, we were only coming for the
day, it hardly seemed worthwhile.
203
00:16:24,422 --> 00:16:26,021
I had a wash.
204
00:16:26,022 --> 00:16:28,801
Don't let him get out.
205
00:16:28,802 --> 00:16:33,281
And don't look now, but you're being
observed from an upstairs window.
206
00:16:33,282 --> 00:16:38,202
Cor! That bird of yours, Foggy.
She's horrible!
207
00:16:40,482 --> 00:16:42,462
She is a bit unsightly.
208
00:16:44,182 --> 00:16:47,841
That happens to be
her mother-in-law.
209
00:16:47,842 --> 00:16:51,021
Now, Clegg, I'd like you to get
this vehicle in off the street.
210
00:16:51,022 --> 00:16:55,081
Just reverse it into that driveway
and that should take us nicely out of her line of vision.
211
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,542
Say no more.
212
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:03,362
It's not a very wide drive, Foggy.
213
00:17:05,182 --> 00:17:08,841
Well, don't panic, man,
perfectly simple manoeuvre.
214
00:17:08,842 --> 00:17:14,741
Not to worry,
Foggy, he should be able to hit that space between them gates.
215
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:18,942
I mean, after all, he hit
that cyclist and you should've seen how small he was!
216
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:57,002
Here, I've got it now.
217
00:17:58,562 --> 00:18:02,682
Oh, God. I can't see...
You see, I can't see the pavement.
218
00:18:08,802 --> 00:18:13,921
Put a bit more snap into it, Clegg,
in front of all these Celts.
219
00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:17,642
Damn it, there's a pair of
eyes behind every curtain.
220
00:18:37,762 --> 00:18:40,821
I thought your friends were here.
221
00:18:40,822 --> 00:18:44,361
They've been here.
And there, and there.
222
00:18:44,362 --> 00:18:46,562
And there. And there.
223
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:51,041
He's a bit heavy footed, isn't he?
224
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,662
Not a natural on the organ,
that one, I shouldn't think.
225
00:19:02,822 --> 00:19:04,202
Steady, Cleggy, steady.
226
00:19:17,582 --> 00:19:22,621
Ah, yes, well, the trick is,
plenty of left hand down,
227
00:19:22,622 --> 00:19:26,401
throttle and clutch,
throttle and clutch, there we are.
228
00:19:26,402 --> 00:19:28,821
All over somebody's front garden.
229
00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:31,562
D'you think Foggy's trying
to tell us something?
230
00:19:32,902 --> 00:19:36,001
You can see what
Foggy thinks of your driving.
231
00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:38,881
That is a wicked slander.
232
00:19:38,882 --> 00:19:42,821
The man is merely in the
grip of some powerful emotion.
233
00:19:42,822 --> 00:19:46,362
We English are not as
reserved as the world pretends.
234
00:19:49,962 --> 00:19:55,741
If there's anything we can do to
help, Foggy, don't hesitate to ask.
235
00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:57,701
Yes.
236
00:19:57,702 --> 00:20:01,242
You can get your damned
vehicle off my foot!
237
00:20:06,602 --> 00:20:08,381
Get it off!
238
00:20:08,382 --> 00:20:11,561
Well, it is good to see you.
239
00:20:11,562 --> 00:20:15,081
I had a terrible drive
with those three lunatics.
240
00:20:15,082 --> 00:20:17,621
I don't think I've seen you since
I papered the lounge.
241
00:20:17,622 --> 00:20:21,801
There was one fool driving
and another set behind me breathing in me ear.
242
00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:25,281
I hope you like pale mustard.
Wanting to adjust my safety belt.
243
00:20:25,282 --> 00:20:29,221
There's always a question of
how far you dare go with the carpet.
244
00:20:29,222 --> 00:20:33,181
Mind you, mine's just as vague
and useless. It's a shag pile.
245
00:20:33,182 --> 00:20:35,862
Aren't they all?
246
00:20:37,582 --> 00:20:40,281
Didn't he go a funny colour?
247
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:44,342
If he'd asked me to drive on
his foot, I'd never have hit it!
248
00:20:45,922 --> 00:20:49,861
I'll say this for Foggy,
he might act a bit Tory,
249
00:20:49,862 --> 00:20:53,801
but when the chips are down he
can swear as good as me any time!
250
00:20:53,802 --> 00:20:57,321
I thought a lot of it
was unnecessary, especially in a built-up area.
251
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:59,581
There was somebody
playing the organ.
252
00:20:59,582 --> 00:21:06,121
All the time Foggy was uttering that
colloquial Anglo-Saxon, there was someone upstairs playing the organ.
253
00:21:06,122 --> 00:21:08,482
The Welsh can put anything to music!
254
00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:11,901
The ambulance is on its way.
255
00:21:11,902 --> 00:21:15,801
Ambulance!
It's funnier than we thought it was!
256
00:21:15,802 --> 00:21:19,482
Foggy, Foggy,
are you going to have it off?
257
00:21:22,362 --> 00:21:24,661
No, get off, get off,
be careful, get away.
258
00:21:24,662 --> 00:21:27,861
It's a real treat,
watching him being so brave.
259
00:21:27,862 --> 00:21:30,741
You've already crushed it to a pulp,
I don't want it twisting off.
260
00:21:30,742 --> 00:21:33,561
No, I think you should wait and
have it seen to properly in hospital.
261
00:21:33,562 --> 00:21:36,821
Yeah, under anaesthetic, I agree.
Be brave, love.
262
00:21:36,822 --> 00:21:39,701
What's he got to be brave about?
He's only got a bruised foot!
263
00:21:39,702 --> 00:21:43,502
Mind you, they said that
about Long John Silver and look what happened to him.
264
00:21:45,302 --> 00:21:48,521
Oh, ah, ooh, ow! I don't
think there's anything broken.
265
00:21:48,522 --> 00:21:50,301
What makes you say that?
266
00:21:50,302 --> 00:21:54,241
Well, nobody made me say it,
I just threw it in.
267
00:21:54,242 --> 00:21:57,941
Mind you, there's no reason why
you shouldn't have a second opinion.
268
00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:03,401
Come on, wiggle your toes before
rigor mortis sets in. Oh, no, oh! Yes, try, love, I'll hold your hand.
269
00:22:03,402 --> 00:22:05,741
Is tea ready, then?
270
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:08,061
Don't you be holding hands.
271
00:22:08,062 --> 00:22:10,721
Well, it's only sympathy,
Nan, he's been injured.
272
00:22:10,722 --> 00:22:13,641
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
273
00:22:13,642 --> 00:22:16,541
In pain, is he? It's agony, madam.
274
00:22:16,542 --> 00:22:19,461
Oh, there's a pity.
275
00:22:19,462 --> 00:22:24,021
Can he wiggle his toes, then?
D'oh! Oh! Oh, ooh, ah!
276
00:22:24,022 --> 00:22:27,181
I never hear when
anything interesting happens.
277
00:22:27,182 --> 00:22:28,821
This damned stick.
278
00:22:28,822 --> 00:22:33,921
It's nearly opening time. We're not
gonna spend all day watching him wiggle his toes. Can you wiggle it?
279
00:22:33,922 --> 00:22:36,041
I think you ought to try, really.
280
00:22:36,042 --> 00:22:38,222
Will it hurt? Oh, yes.
281
00:22:39,842 --> 00:22:42,081
He is inclined to
put his foot in it.
282
00:22:42,082 --> 00:22:44,001
Or under it!
283
00:22:44,002 --> 00:22:46,381
Nice fella, nobody likes him!
284
00:22:46,382 --> 00:22:51,501
Too bossy. Yeah, never stops,
he's always talking about the Army.
285
00:22:51,502 --> 00:22:55,322
I tell you, if he marries your Gwen,
he'll have for doing everything by numbers.
286
00:22:59,082 --> 00:23:01,721
Oh, you make me laugh.
287
00:23:01,722 --> 00:23:05,141
More than that fella in there does,
I can tell you.
288
00:23:05,142 --> 00:23:08,121
Look at you, the English
have neglected you.
289
00:23:10,102 --> 00:23:12,461
I'm all alone,
except for young Archie.
290
00:23:12,462 --> 00:23:14,422
Your son? Me ferret.
291
00:23:16,382 --> 00:23:20,101
But it's not the same
as the company of a woman.
292
00:23:20,102 --> 00:23:23,521
I need somebody to share me fireside,
293
00:23:23,522 --> 00:23:26,741
to put a shilling in me gas meter.
294
00:23:26,742 --> 00:23:30,782
I want to see a pair of corsets
hanging over the end of me bed. Ooh!
295
00:23:32,362 --> 00:23:34,682
You're cheeky. Ah ha!
296
00:23:36,962 --> 00:23:40,921
Now, look, look after this lady
until they finish with me
297
00:23:40,922 --> 00:23:43,641
and keep her well away from him
with that ferret in his trousers.
298
00:23:43,642 --> 00:23:46,301
Oh, he hasn't brought
his ferret with him, Foggy.
299
00:23:46,302 --> 00:23:49,581
Well, in that case,
keep her even further away.
300
00:23:49,582 --> 00:23:51,242
You may proceed, driver.
301
00:23:53,902 --> 00:23:55,941
Fingerprints I had already,
302
00:23:55,942 --> 00:24:02,662
but tyre prints were courtesy
of that unforgettable sequence known as the Clegg reverse turn.
303
00:24:04,202 --> 00:24:06,441
Well, it's been a memorable day,
304
00:24:06,442 --> 00:24:13,121
from that damned first sensation
of disbelief when you see this hired car passing over your sock.
305
00:24:13,122 --> 00:24:15,021
Stop.
306
00:24:15,022 --> 00:24:16,502
Rug, rug.
307
00:24:20,482 --> 00:24:22,201
Oh, my God.
308
00:24:22,202 --> 00:24:24,921
Look, I want you
never to do that again.
309
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:29,581
I'd forgotten how spectacular is
the sight of him bending down.
310
00:24:29,582 --> 00:24:31,641
Face him round behind me.
311
00:24:31,642 --> 00:24:34,381
Let the Welsh
have the benefit of it.
312
00:24:34,382 --> 00:24:38,761
Let them make what they
can of that little welcome in that little hillside.
313
00:24:38,762 --> 00:24:40,882
Well, come on, move on.
314
00:24:42,462 --> 00:24:45,921
I don't know what the
old woman saw in you.
315
00:24:45,922 --> 00:24:47,542
I hope it wasn't that.
316
00:24:49,122 --> 00:24:51,841
Well, don't jog me.
317
00:24:51,842 --> 00:24:53,581
Try to think of it as the flatsies
318
00:24:53,582 --> 00:24:56,342
and let's have a bit less of this
over the sticks.
319
00:24:59,802 --> 00:25:03,402
Well, come along, come along,
I want to see the pond.
320
00:25:34,542 --> 00:25:35,981
Ah!
321
00:25:35,982 --> 00:25:38,421
Oh! Oh!
322
00:25:38,422 --> 00:25:42,461
D'you know, I'm glad he's asleep,
I didn't realise he was so heavy.
323
00:25:42,462 --> 00:25:45,781
It's this Welsh gravity.
Is it? Oh, yes.
324
00:25:45,782 --> 00:25:50,281
The Welsh tend to weigh
very heavy for their size.
325
00:25:50,282 --> 00:25:52,801
Are you sure? Oh, yes.
326
00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:56,901
They wear out piano stools
quicker than the English.
327
00:25:56,902 --> 00:25:58,981
Of course...
328
00:25:58,982 --> 00:26:01,061
they're mountain folk, basically.
329
00:26:01,062 --> 00:26:04,122
Oh, you mean like goats.
330
00:26:07,242 --> 00:26:09,261
I think so.
331
00:26:09,262 --> 00:26:11,542
Especially if they play rugby.
332
00:26:20,802 --> 00:26:25,601
You know, you never find anything
worthwhile in a cast off fag packet.
333
00:26:25,602 --> 00:26:28,962
You keep looking, though, don't ya?
Oh, aye.
334
00:26:31,202 --> 00:26:34,401
When you look closely at life,
335
00:26:34,402 --> 00:26:39,622
it makes you wonder how it is
that Foggy is heading for the pond.
336
00:26:41,082 --> 00:26:46,181
You shouldn't have let him go.
I should turn, or something, Foggy.
337
00:26:46,182 --> 00:26:48,021
Watch your head, Foggy.
338
00:26:48,022 --> 00:26:50,801
You're a fine one to be
giving that sort of advice.
339
00:26:50,802 --> 00:26:52,641
Mind your foot, Foggy!
340
00:26:52,642 --> 00:26:53,882
Ah! Hup!
341
00:27:35,402 --> 00:27:37,582
SCREAMING AND SHOUTING
342
00:27:56,762 --> 00:28:01,461
Shall I have a fish cake as well
or will that be mostly potato?
343
00:28:01,462 --> 00:28:04,221
It'll still go down
in great mouthfuls.
344
00:28:04,222 --> 00:28:07,822
It's like watching men
forking hay through a barn door.
345
00:28:09,562 --> 00:28:13,121
Foggy's been in a foul mood since
we brought him back from Wales.
346
00:28:13,122 --> 00:28:15,021
Well, you know why. Why?
347
00:28:15,022 --> 00:28:21,601
Well, if you'd married the old lady
and he'd married the other one, that would've made you his father-in-law!
348
00:28:21,602 --> 00:28:23,661
LAUGHTER
349
00:28:23,662 --> 00:28:28,961
Oh, listen, son, would you like
to bring your dear old dad another plate of chips?
350
00:28:28,962 --> 00:28:31,021
You shouldn't go wandering, Foggy.
351
00:28:31,022 --> 00:28:36,041
Malcolm Ramsdale never
found true happiness with all his restless wanderings.
352
00:28:36,042 --> 00:28:38,081
Why, where did he go?
353
00:28:38,082 --> 00:28:40,801
Upper Gledfield Street.
354
00:28:40,802 --> 00:28:44,622
How do they get fish just the
right size for this batter?
355
00:28:44,672 --> 00:28:49,222
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30064
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.