All language subtitles for rick.and.morty.s05e09.1080p.webrip.x264-cakes

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish Download
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,869 Ugh! 2 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:06,805 [ Screaming ] 3 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,273 Oh, thank you, Morty. 4 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,342 You know, this cookie really crumbled after Rick left. 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,811 Uh, sorry about that. I-I-I think he was just hungry. 6 00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:13,946 Look, I gotta run. 7 00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,147 I-I'm sure you guys'll figure it out. 8 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,815 I-I believe in you! 9 00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:21,886 Morty! Can you help us with this UFO-shaped hole? 10 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,555 Sure, geez, but y'know only because 11 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,756 I was in the neighborhood. 12 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:29,361 [ Screaming ] 13 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,963 Morty, thank God! 14 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:33,432 The beast emerged right after your grandpa left 15 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:37,369 and its gem went missing... Geez, that is a crazy coincidence 16 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,305 that I-I if I were you, probably just best left alone. 17 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,374 He's right. We-We should celebrate. 18 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,642 Feast? No time. 19 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:44,977 S-S-Sounds pretty classic though, 20 00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,812 don't let me hold you up! 21 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,685 [ Gasps ] Son of a bitch. He marked it. 22 00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:11,736 Ah! 23 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,339 Phew. 24 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:19,478 Hah. 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,813 What the... 26 00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:24,616 [ Grunting ] 27 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,818 Hey, what the hell? 28 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:27,219 Agh! Jesus! 29 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,620 You got some of that green stuff on you too, huh? 30 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,288 Th-Th-This is bad. Th-This is really bad. 31 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,157 Hey, how do you think I feel? 32 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:35,293 I had the ultimate stash hole and now I got a kid in my thigh. 33 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:43,295 ♪♪ 34 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:51,243 ♪♪ 35 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:59,245 ♪♪ 36 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:07,192 ♪♪ 37 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:09,261 Look, you seem like a perfectly nice guy in my hand hole, 38 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,865 but if I can't sort this out I'm dead... 39 00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:14,533 What the hell, dude? Gross. 40 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,669 I-I-I was just trying to... You're just trying to what? 41 00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:18,136 Where'd this stuff come from? 42 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,138 Garbage Goober, get out here and eat this garbage. 43 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,542 Mmm, trash, I love trash, yum yum trash, 44 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,010 I wanna eat trash... Hell yeah, I love that lil guy. 45 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,279 Wait a minute. 46 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,014 Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum transport solution? 47 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,149 I-I saw you were marking the levels 48 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,351 so I-I had to top it off. "Top it off?" 49 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,487 Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? 50 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,289 And you added it to my portal fluid?! 51 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,023 Only because you don't trust me! 52 00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,425 Oh, that's great logic, Morty... 53 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,494 forgive me for not doing the kissy chef gesture 54 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,162 since you probably spilled this [bleep] everywhere 55 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,697 and I don't want to teleport my lips. 56 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,232 I did I did not spill it! 57 00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,901 I won't take your word for that and I shouldn't have to, 58 00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,635 which is why I have sidekick rules. 59 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,170 If you can't follow them... 60 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,172 I can be replaced, yeah, yeah, so you keep telling me. 61 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,775 Excuse me? Did you just try to call my bluff? 62 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,176 Have you ever seen me bluff? 63 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,378 Fine. You know what, replace me! 64 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,113 Replace me, Rick! Just do it. 65 00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:02,514 Good luck finding someone that can be told 66 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,249 80 thousand times how replaceable they are! 67 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,919 Okay. I'll see your bluff call and raise you reality. 68 00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:09,053 I can't pretend I haven't been looking forward to this. 69 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,390 Behold my Wheel of Better Things Than Morty. 70 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,926 Wh-What are you eight? I-Is this macaroni art? 71 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,127 You expect me to believe you built this 72 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:16,595 because you don't care? 73 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,663 No, I built this because I don't expect shit from you. 74 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,732 Come on, anything! 75 00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:21,133 Anything but Morty, let's go! 76 00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:22,534 Come on baby, no whammies! 77 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,002 Duh-duh-duh-duh stop! 78 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,403 Okay, that's it. Two crows. 79 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,071 You're fired! You know what? Eat [bleep] 80 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,273 You're just trying to make me feel worthless. 81 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,674 I never said you're worthless. 82 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,610 In fact, I've given you a very clear metric of your worth: 83 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:32,877 Two crows. 84 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,613 Note I didn't say three! 85 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,416 Man, that is not a healthy relationship. 86 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,484 I hope you don't mind me eavesdropping. 87 00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:40,753 Maybe we can figure out some sort of 88 00:03:40,755 --> 00:03:42,487 sound-proof bandage solution. 89 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,823 Hey did Garbage Goober eat my porno magazines? 90 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,558 So, were you like, a friend of Rick's? 91 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,493 Were you? Good question. 92 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,495 W-What's he doing, i-is he out there making sure 93 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,564 you see him collecting two crows? 94 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,967 And now you're thinking, gee, maybe if he cares enough 95 00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,435 to hurt me this bad... 96 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,236 dot dot dot. 97 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,504 Break the cycle, Morty. 98 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,840 Change the things that you can change. 99 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:06,711 That's what I did. And now I'm free. 100 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,847 Only cramming six years into six minutes, fellas. 101 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:13,452 Take your time! 102 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,987 Now that's what I'm talking about! 103 00:04:14,989 --> 00:04:16,921 If ya nail this next one, I've got bird quaaludes. 104 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,523 And I might even share. 105 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:20,258 Y-You know you can stop doing that for my benefit. 106 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,527 Y'know or-or keep doing it. Doesn't matter. I'm out. 107 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,863 I'm walking away. Wait. Morty. Don't go. 108 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,799 Not until you see this! 109 00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:29,034 Commence bird on a wire! 110 00:04:32,807 --> 00:04:35,607 Yeeeeaaaahhhhh! 111 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,010 [ Groans loudly ] Jerk. 112 00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,478 Hey, let's hang out. 113 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,680 We're like brothers now, we both got away y'know, 114 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:42,815 w-where are you at? 115 00:04:42,817 --> 00:04:44,149 Ooh, you know what, shoot, can't. 116 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,551 I'm an alien, um, so... That's okay, 117 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:47,952 Rick turned my bike into a spaceship 118 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,754 for "solo adventures" like picking up 119 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,155 his Venusian foot ointment. 120 00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,157 God I'm seeing it so clearly now. 121 00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:57,762 [ Switch clicks, whirring, warbling ] 122 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,564 Oh. Wait. I-It says here you're on Earth. 123 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,633 Yeah. Ah. Don't come here. Why not? 124 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,635 Look, I-I get it, my room is sometimes messy too, 125 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,304 I'll-I'll pick you up right outside your... 126 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,973 mental asylum. Busted. 127 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,575 You literally said "I'm free." 128 00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,311 I'm literally not free. 129 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,914 Stop! That's my blanket! 130 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,382 How do you know Rick? 131 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,783 Look I came to your place with him one night 132 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,052 after the bar closed. 133 00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:21,720 I started messing around in your garage 134 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,456 and I spilled that portal stuff on me and he... 135 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,525 kind of launched me to Australia... 136 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,993 like with this weirdly primitive catapult, but... 137 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,196 but the ammunition is an airtight carbon chamber, 138 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,331 yeah, that-that... that's how we lost our cable guy. 139 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,333 Anyways, that kind of experience shakes you up. 140 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:39,672 So, sorry I misled you, have a nice life. 141 00:05:39,674 --> 00:05:41,540 Nick. You got a visitor. 142 00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:50,215 Damn, what happened to you? 143 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,417 The guards like to beat us on Sundays. 144 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,687 Still better than Mondays. Geez, what happens then? 145 00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:56,889 They lick our faces when we're tied down. 146 00:05:56,891 --> 00:05:58,423 Plus it's meat loaf day. Well... 147 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,092 you're leaving now, buddy. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 148 00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:01,826 I-I swiped 'em off the guard on my way in. 149 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:05,564 I-I mean, sure, yeah, I could undo my lock, but then what? 150 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,432 After the smartest guy in the world's done with ya, 151 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,701 it's kinda hard to find a footing again. 152 00:06:08,703 --> 00:06:10,302 That's why I need to get you out of here. 153 00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:11,904 We're not the problem, he is. 154 00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:17,041 And if you can have a fresh start, then maybe I can too. 155 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,243 It's not like it's a prison break. 156 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,644 We're just leaving, like, a hospital 157 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,246 that wants to help you extra bad. 158 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:24,649 Follow me! 159 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,686 Hey get back here, you better open this door! 160 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,257 I can fly! Keep running, Nick. 161 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,459 The more you sweat, the saltier your cheeks. 162 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,128 Lick this! Thanks, Morty. 163 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:40,064 That dude's got a tongue like a cat. 164 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,399 Stop those Portal Boys! 165 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,402 Did you hear that? That's gonna stick! 166 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,471 [ Groans ] Damn. Just like Jackie Chan! 167 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,873 Hah! I guess that makes me Chris Tucker. 168 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,409 I-I guess? 169 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,078 [ Shocks ] [ Groans ] 170 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,320 Gonna get you! [ Growls ] 171 00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,553 [ Gags ] 172 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,021 [ Moans ] 173 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,489 Holy [bleep]! Did you see that? 174 00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,958 I mean you blinded a guy with puke! 175 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,159 Oh, it was insane. 176 00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,093 Gimme dap. Am I doing it right? 177 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,295 D-D-Did I give you a dap yet? 178 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,696 Look at us. We got out. 179 00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,766 And not just from the asylum but from Rick. 180 00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:16,301 You get to say what an adventure is now. 181 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,636 You still got that list? 182 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,237 Dude, we can't do that stuff without Rick's tech. 183 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:24,376 Then it's time the Portal Boys get themselves a portal gun. 184 00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:25,644 Remember your training, crows. 185 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,166 The idol should be around that corner! 186 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:33,051 [ Vocalizing ] 187 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,519 [ Crows caw ] 188 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,321 Do you guys just follow training when you feel like it? 189 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,723 That's not being trained, that's being dicks. 190 00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:40,125 [ Caws ] 191 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,661 Ah, now I see. The real treasure is empathy. 192 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,797 And that's worth way more than any knick-knack. 193 00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:49,001 You guys just earned yourselves another adventure! 194 00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:50,402 The adventure is, you're fired. 195 00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,404 Sorry, guys, if I wanted another bleeding heart, 196 00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:55,474 I'd inject reanimator serum into an actual bleeding heart. 197 00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,342 Relax, this is an avian planet 198 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,811 with 40 million species of bird, 199 00:07:58,813 --> 00:08:00,278 even one day of working under me 200 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,280 will make you apex geniuses down there. 201 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,748 Now hop into these pneumatic canisters 202 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,618 they used to use at bank drive-thrus in the '70s. 203 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,755 [ Air hisses ] [ Pew, pew ] 204 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,290 [ Sighs ] 205 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,293 ♪♪ 206 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,429 What the... Hey! Who's tractor beaming me?! 207 00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:19,431 Nobody tractor beams me... 208 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:23,035 Nobody descrambles my tractor beam scrambler to boot. 209 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,772 Sorry for the tractor beaming, 210 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,974 but did you lose these two crows? 211 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,177 Oh, uh, yeah, no I-I dropped 'em off 'cause 212 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,712 I-I can't hold a candle to them. 213 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,248 Y'know it s-seemed like a... the decent thing to do. 214 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,783 Be your crows. Train yourself. 215 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,318 Crows are then trained. 216 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,854 I'm open to what you're describing if it's easier 217 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:44,389 than wiping an unearned smirk off my grandson's face. 218 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,925 W-What do I do? Look at your crows. 219 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,326 Be your crows. 220 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,862 God I am so glad I'm a primate. 221 00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:52,464 Fine. Looking at my crows. 222 00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,799 We train ourselves to stop training. 223 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:58,403 The trained are untrained, we are untrained. 224 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,605 All training is complete. 225 00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,007 Because no training was needed. 226 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:10,549 ♪♪ 227 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:18,156 ♪♪ 228 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,024 My God. I-I get it, now. 229 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:23,696 We are gonna shove this crow shit down Morty's throat! 230 00:09:23,698 --> 00:09:25,497 Nick, m-maybe this isn't a good idea. 231 00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,232 L-Like what if he catches us? 232 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,434 He could trap me in a Matrix again. Listen to yourself. 233 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,903 We wouldn't even be in this situation 234 00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:34,172 if the dude hadn't [bleep] us both over. 235 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,507 Damn it. He must be showing the gun off 236 00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,576 to his stupid crows... i-it's not fair! 237 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:40,645 It's okay, we can still liberate all this other stuff. 238 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,581 Let's only grab what we need, though. 239 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,449 Oh, no. [Bleep] That's Rick's can crusher! 240 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,984 H-He spent three weeks perfecting that. 241 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,921 Morty, buddy, you forget that we're in this together. 242 00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:51,790 Besides, tell me that didn't feel the slightest bit good. 243 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,126 I mean yeah, but w-we can't do that again. 244 00:09:54,128 --> 00:09:55,828 Why the hell not? 245 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,665 Whoa! 246 00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:03,067 Haha! 247 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,403 Here we go, bitch! 248 00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:06,871 Son, have you fallen in with a weird stranger 249 00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:10,008 and are now trashing your grandpa's place? 250 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,677 'Cause I'll help! 251 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,813 Dad? Psh, whatever, man. 252 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,949 Ah. Yeah! Yeah! Now eat my ass, Rick! 253 00:10:16,951 --> 00:10:19,551 Suck it, Sanchez! 254 00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,019 Morty, is that what I think it is? 255 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,821 I mean, it's the equivalent of an iPhone 3 256 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:26,224 And it's empty but it means the Portal Boys be portal-ing! 257 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,426 [ Robotic voice ] Rick incoming. 258 00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:28,961 Oh, crap, we better skedaddle! 259 00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:30,362 [ Babbling ] Moooooorty. 260 00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:32,164 But what about my dad, he-he's like a-a... 261 00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:33,632 puddle. You heard the garage, 262 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,233 Rick'll turn him back into a solid when he gets here! 263 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,835 Sorry, Dad, gotta go be heroes. 264 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,197 G-Gonna take your car, love you! 265 00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:46,745 That's us down there with the poop brown roof. 266 00:10:51,786 --> 00:10:55,654 [ Wah, wah, wah ] 267 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,190 What is that? Oh. Ha. That? 268 00:10:58,192 --> 00:10:59,724 T-That's... nothing. 269 00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:02,594 But I see "Two Crows" written right here beside... 270 00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:06,331 Gene with donkey brains, half a Paul Giamatti, and... 271 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,666 sentient shit. 272 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,068 I guess the "joke" being that crows are stupid? 273 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,270 I think it's a little more nuanced than that. 274 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,538 Right, because you just learned 275 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,474 empathy from us 10 minutes ago 276 00:11:15,476 --> 00:11:18,076 but now we're going to learn we don't get your humor? 277 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,411 [Bleep] horse shit. 278 00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,213 Yeah, there's not a ton to "get," genius, 279 00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:24,616 the "joke" is your grandson was so replaceable 280 00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:27,219 that "even" two crows could do it. 281 00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:29,087 Haha. It's funny except it's not. 282 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,824 Right, well, to be honest, that is how I felt at the time. 283 00:11:31,826 --> 00:11:33,425 But I've-I've rounded a corner. 284 00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:34,959 I seriously have, you guys. 285 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:40,499 Well, now it's time to round the corner of death! 286 00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:44,036 Let the crow-volution begin. 287 00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,370 Aah! 288 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,105 Aw, that sound. What have you done? 289 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:51,910 Turned crows against dozens of humans in a 300 meter radius. 290 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,578 Jerry: Heeeelllllp... pleaseee... 291 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,447 Oh, now you beg for help? 292 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,315 - That wasn't me. - What do you mean? 293 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,851 Dooooown here. 294 00:11:58,853 --> 00:12:00,919 Jerry, what the [bleep], why are you a puddle? 295 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,987 You don't deserve these! 296 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,056 - Haha. - Genius. 297 00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:06,791 Caaatch you at a baaad time? Yeah, Jerry. 298 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,627 They took my goddamn crows! 299 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,000 Not now, Garbage Goober! Get back in your hole! 300 00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:19,638 Hohoho, our first adventure! 301 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,039 This definitely the place? 302 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,574 Yeah, Rick's been ripping these guys off for years, 303 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,243 they'll-they'll be really... [ Distant yell ] 304 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,711 uh, grateful. 305 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,380 Y'know, there... Let's just get that fluid, bud. 306 00:12:28,382 --> 00:12:32,618 The Portal Boys are about to be in portal business! 307 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,654 Here he is. 308 00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,790 This rat was skimming your crystal harvest 309 00:12:37,792 --> 00:12:41,126 and sending it to a spaceman named Rick Sanchez. 310 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,328 - Bastard! - Screw Rick! Kick his dick! 311 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:48,400 Yeah, right?! But me and Nick here, we-we put a stop to that. 312 00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:51,003 The people of Kuntak thank you. 313 00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:52,471 He's a bad guy, right? 314 00:12:52,473 --> 00:12:54,072 Y-You're gonna bring him to justice? 315 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,608 Yeah, of course. 316 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,877 Uh, okay, p-pleasure doing business! 317 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,278 Not so fast, Morty. 318 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,414 We're not leaving until we get what we came for. 319 00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:03,748 Funny, I'm prepared to. 320 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,284 So hey, look, wh-what we want is portal fluid. 321 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,820 As our thanks. 322 00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:09,287 Portal fluid? 323 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,624 You think I'd live in a lizard mine if I had portal fluid? 324 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:16,495 Right, ok, or we could just kill you for it. 325 00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:18,430 He's kidding. He's... t-the Portal Boys 326 00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:20,765 only kill with kindness. And with guns. 327 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:24,302 Oh, no. Oh, no. I-I'm not the one shooting! 328 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,571 - Kill them! - I'm sorry. 329 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:30,642 Stop! Stop! They're unarmed! 330 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,310 Ahh! What the [bleep]?! 331 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,847 Morty! Morty! 332 00:13:34,849 --> 00:13:41,386 ♪♪ 333 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,589 Cool place ya got here. Very Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic. 334 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,324 Now where are my damn crows? 335 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,127 ♪♪ 336 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,929 [ Crow alarm blares ] Seriously? 337 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,398 Is there anything not on theme here? 338 00:13:53,400 --> 00:14:01,400 ♪♪ 339 00:14:02,076 --> 00:14:06,611 Even now your primate storms our ship to assert his dominance. 340 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,214 Touch the sacred egg and ascend. 341 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,417 No longer shall you take orders from this beast. 342 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,219 But taking orders from you i-is fine? 343 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,888 Silence, Ape! 344 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,092 C'mon, if you think my crows are gonna leave the great thing 345 00:14:20,094 --> 00:14:22,695 we have for whatever high fantasy bull [bleep] this is? 346 00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:25,764 You 're wrong. R-Right, guys? 347 00:14:25,766 --> 00:14:27,700 Th-This is seriously a toss-up. 348 00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:29,434 [ Phone rings ] 349 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,636 Uh... someone wanna get that? 350 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:32,905 Oh. It's me, isn't it? 351 00:14:32,907 --> 00:14:34,172 Woof. 352 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,840 Lemme just make sure it's not an emergency... 353 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,376 Yello. Rick, I'm so sorry, I-I messed up big! 354 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,779 Morty? It's okay, y-ya can't be worse off than me. 355 00:14:40,781 --> 00:14:42,247 I-I got portal splashed, robbed you, 356 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,782 jumped into a rebound with a psycho, 357 00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:45,250 and-and left a trail of dead! 358 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,518 Wow, somebody's been busy. 359 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,720 I-I did it 'cause you hurt my feelings 360 00:14:47,722 --> 00:14:49,187 w-when you chose the two crows! 361 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,256 Jesus, it was a bit, I'm getting my ass kicked 362 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,858 by this dumb [bleep] crow story, it's all gone tits up. 363 00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:57,129 Ha, okay, I-I miss you, man. 364 00:14:57,131 --> 00:15:00,065 Uh, goddamn it, might've been a bit too frank there. 365 00:15:07,608 --> 00:15:09,874 Yeah... gonna have to call ya back. 366 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,075 Ahh! Nick: Gah! 367 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,011 Tiny-handed little brat... 368 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,413 You think you can [bleep] with me and get away with it?! 369 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:23,415 [ Tires squealing ] Then you don't know Nick. 370 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,893 Busted. You don't get it, do you? 371 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,695 As long as we have these portals, 372 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,297 you can never escape me. 373 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,565 What the hell, man. 374 00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,167 I-I thought we were both victims of Rick's abuse. 375 00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:36,701 Maybe we are, maybe we're not. 376 00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,370 Maybe we both just drink at the same bar 377 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:41,106 and maybe one night I tried to take his portal gun. 378 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,642 See I thought Rick was my ticket to something special, 379 00:15:43,644 --> 00:15:45,644 but it turns out you were, Morty. 380 00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:48,913 And look at me now... I'm a Portal Boy. 381 00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,516 That name sucks! I was just trying to yes-and! 382 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:54,119 You don't get it, Morty. 383 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,387 We're partners. 384 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,722 Now fall in line or I'll make your life a living hell. 385 00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,125 No... thank... you. 386 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,528 Pity, I can't have you connected to me if you're not on my side. 387 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,197 That means I gotta kill you. 388 00:16:05,199 --> 00:16:07,666 The thing is, I already got a partner, 389 00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:09,934 and there's no room for promotions. 390 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,937 [ Both yelling ] 391 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,673 What the [bleep] did you just do? 392 00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:16,842 Cut you out of my life. 393 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:27,151 Ahhh! [ Grunts ] 394 00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:32,157 [ Beeps ] [ Whoosh ] 395 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,360 See how quickly your allies abandon you, Rick Sanchez? 396 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,197 Lucky for me, abandonment's my bread and butter. 397 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,569 Oh [bleep]. You were supposed to die! 398 00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:45,904 I gotta hand it to you... 399 00:16:45,906 --> 00:16:48,773 I was iffy about this one but crow tech slaps! 400 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:53,178 ♪♪ 401 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,913 Finish him, you fools! 402 00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,515 Go ahead. Do it. 403 00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:57,782 You guys look so rad. 404 00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,852 I deserve to go out this way! 405 00:17:05,726 --> 00:17:09,528 Crows: Bird... qua... luudes. Done. 406 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:13,131 ♪♪ 407 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,867 Oh, my god, that was awesome. 408 00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:16,735 Y-You could've killed me back there. 409 00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:19,137 H-How did you guys ever forgive me? 410 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,805 Right, 'cause this toxic thing 411 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,340 I have with Morty doesn't define us. 412 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:27,412 Man, crows are empathetic as [bleep]! 413 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,181 Definitely saving this one! 414 00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:33,352 Rick and two crows! 415 00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:39,157 Oh, my god, Morty. 416 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,359 Here, here come here l-let-let grandpa fix you up, 417 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,495 What do you want, a robot hand? A lizard hand? 418 00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,430 I can make it big again like that one time? 419 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,831 Just my regular hand! 420 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,193 Right, not a time for bits, I get it. 421 00:17:51,772 --> 00:17:53,238 There ya go, good as new. 422 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,774 So we're like, back-back, right? 423 00:17:55,776 --> 00:17:57,109 Rick and Morty, together again. 424 00:17:57,111 --> 00:17:59,844 Fu-Full reset? No. 425 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,446 No, Morty, I think we're done. 426 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,248 Be-Because I spilled the portal fluid and didn't tell you? 427 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,850 No, Morty. 'Cause you were too afraid to tell me. 428 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,586 What we had was abusive. Don't you see? 429 00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,522 I'm a bad partner because I never made you a true partner. 430 00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,056 The crows made me see that. 431 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,525 I thought they were a joke like you, 432 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,327 but it turns out they're more enlightened than any of us. 433 00:18:15,329 --> 00:18:17,862 O-Okay? And-And what's the undercut? 434 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,398 You're not hearing me. 435 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,734 I will never be the same so I need to leave with the crows 436 00:18:21,736 --> 00:18:23,535 and see what more they can teach me. 437 00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,004 Oh. Oh. 438 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:29,874 Here, I want you to have this. 439 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,210 Oh, wow I... 440 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:35,480 You know what, Rick? You really have changed. 441 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:38,283 Thanks, Morty. 442 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,285 I'll always be your grandpa, Morty. 443 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,855 Just kinda obsessed with crows now. 444 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:54,166 ♪♪ 445 00:18:54,168 --> 00:18:58,036 ♪ Every day the sun burns brighter ♪ 446 00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:02,641 ♪ With you by my side ♪ 447 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:06,711 ♪ And that we go on forever ♪ 448 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:12,116 ♪ Together you and I ♪ 449 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,118 Aww shit! Rick and two crows! 450 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,453 Kicking off my new franchise! 451 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,989 The galaxy is our telephone wire! 452 00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:18,190 We'll do a thousand seasons, 453 00:19:18,192 --> 00:19:20,793 14 episodes each, 9-9 seconds a pop 454 00:19:20,795 --> 00:19:22,127 because that's the future of viewing... 455 00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:23,996 shows on your shoes... Sneaki! 456 00:19:23,998 --> 00:19:25,330 That's when you've got everybody's attention... 457 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:26,931 when they're putting crap on their feet. 458 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,533 That's when they wanna laugh. Cry. 459 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:31,003 Or feel anything besides a shoe going on their foot! 460 00:19:31,005 --> 00:19:32,671 Watch sitcoms on your sneakers! 461 00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:34,206 The Rick and Two Crows Show, 462 00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:36,341 we're gonna be layin'... layin' walnuts on the road 463 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:39,077 for car tires to open em' you know what I mean? 464 00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:43,281 Forever, it's Rick and two crows, forever! 465 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,949 ♪♪ 466 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,819 ♪ Oh, we go on ♪ 467 00:19:46,821 --> 00:19:49,021 ♪ You by my side ♪ 468 00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:51,156 ♪ Forever ♪ 469 00:19:51,158 --> 00:19:52,825 ♪ You and I ♪ 470 00:19:52,827 --> 00:19:55,227 ♪ We wreaked hell ♪ 471 00:19:55,229 --> 00:19:57,629 ♪ Every night ♪ 472 00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,431 ♪ Together ♪ 473 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,700 ♪ You and I ♪ 474 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:03,702 ♪ Running on ♪ 475 00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:05,570 ♪ Borrowed time ♪ 476 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,706 ♪ Forever ♪ 477 00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,908 ♪ You and I ♪ 478 00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:17,910 ♪♪ 479 00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:20,719 [ Gasps ] Where do you think you're going? 480 00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,187 Oh, well, ya know... 481 00:20:22,189 --> 00:20:24,389 the-the red light usually means there's... 482 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,390 garbage... 483 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,192 Did you seriously not talk to Rick yet? 484 00:20:27,194 --> 00:20:28,527 I kinda hinted at it. 485 00:20:28,529 --> 00:20:30,062 L-Look, I know it's not the job 486 00:20:30,064 --> 00:20:32,130 I came here for but it's an honest living. 487 00:20:32,132 --> 00:20:33,265 Goddamn it, Harold. 488 00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:35,400 What do they call you... Garbage Goober? 489 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,402 You are a doctor for god sakes! 490 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,204 Look, I don't know how I let this happen 491 00:20:39,206 --> 00:20:42,807 but I-I've let it play out so long that I can't stop now. 492 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,410 You're a coward. 493 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,812 You're right. This ends here and now. 494 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:50,415 Garbage Goober, we got freshy trash trash for ya! 495 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:54,819 Extra stinky just the way you like it! 496 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,021 Mmm, trash, I love trash... 497 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,525 yum yum trash, I wanna eat trash. 498 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,200 Man: Did you get any of that? 499 00:21:02,224 --> 00:21:04,224 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 36975

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.