All language subtitles for The.Mens.Club.1986.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]ddd
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1
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No, no, no. Sarah and I were arguing
three months after we were married.
4
00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:38,378
Arguments. Bad scenes.
5
00:00:39,337 --> 00:00:41,548
We were going to bed hating each other.
6
00:00:41,756 --> 00:00:45,677
Got so there was nothing but pain at home
and anger in me.
7
00:00:45,886 --> 00:00:47,888
Finally I said, "I'm moving out."
8
00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:50,974
She said, "Good." She wanted to live alone.
9
00:00:51,183 --> 00:00:53,977
I moved out, got my own apartment.
10
00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:57,439
Now, one day, I'm in the supermarket.
11
00:00:58,273 --> 00:01:00,650
I'm throwing
all kinds of shit into my basket.
12
00:01:00,859 --> 00:01:03,361
This woman comes up behind me
and she says,
13
00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:05,363
"You must have a station wagon."
14
00:01:05,572 --> 00:01:09,743
And I said,
"No, I've got a pickup. You need a ride?"
15
00:01:09,951 --> 00:01:11,578
She says, "Yeah."
16
00:01:11,786 --> 00:01:12,954
So I give her a ride home,
17
00:01:13,163 --> 00:01:16,208
and I carry her groceries upstairs
to the apartment.
18
00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:20,128
Inside, sitting on the floor,
is a little boy watching TV.
19
00:01:21,171 --> 00:01:24,758
We sit around for a while talking, drinking.
20
00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:27,928
The little boy gets up,
cooks himself supper,
21
00:01:28,136 --> 00:01:30,347
gives himself a bath, and goes to bed.
22
00:01:32,182 --> 00:01:34,434
We go to bed about midnight.
23
00:01:34,643 --> 00:01:38,688
Maybe, 4:00 in the morning,
I wake up thinking,
24
00:01:38,897 --> 00:01:41,775
"I didn't leave one woman
to jump in the sack with another."
25
00:01:41,983 --> 00:01:44,486
So I get up, I get dressed, and I leave.
26
00:01:44,694 --> 00:01:46,404
I'm just about to pull out of the driveway
27
00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:49,115
when this woman
comes running out, naked.
28
00:01:49,324 --> 00:01:51,534
She says, "Where are you going?"
29
00:01:51,743 --> 00:01:53,536
And I said, "Home."
30
00:01:53,745 --> 00:01:57,540
She said, "I'll come with you."
I said, "No, no, no. I'll phone you."
31
00:01:57,749 --> 00:01:59,918
And then she says, smiling,
32
00:02:01,461 --> 00:02:03,797
"Okay. Good night."
33
00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:07,384
Just like her little boy. Easy.
34
00:02:09,052 --> 00:02:12,305
Following afternoon when I woke up,
I know I wanted to see her.
35
00:02:12,514 --> 00:02:15,517
But I didn't know her number.
I didn't know her address.
36
00:02:15,725 --> 00:02:17,769
I didn't even know her name.
37
00:02:18,395 --> 00:02:20,397
So I went back to the supermarket.
38
00:02:20,605 --> 00:02:22,440
Went around the parking lot.
39
00:02:22,649 --> 00:02:25,318
I did this every day for a week.
40
00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:29,614
I kept remembering
the way she looked at me and said,
41
00:02:29,823 --> 00:02:31,950
"Okay. Good night."
42
00:02:33,159 --> 00:02:35,287
I really wanted to see her.
43
00:02:35,495 --> 00:02:38,081
But I don't think
I could have recognized her.
44
00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:40,333
When we met, she was wearing jeans.
45
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:43,169
What if she walked up to me in a dress?
46
00:02:46,464 --> 00:02:47,966
Anyhow,
47
00:02:49,426 --> 00:02:51,261
I never saw her again.
48
00:02:53,138 --> 00:02:54,389
That's your love story?
49
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:58,143
Do you still love her?
50
00:03:00,312 --> 00:03:02,022
How come you never told me that story?
51
00:03:03,398 --> 00:03:04,983
I'm not so sure it happened.
52
00:03:05,775 --> 00:03:07,444
I still look for her.
53
00:03:08,236 --> 00:03:09,863
Even now,
when Sarah sends me out shopping,
54
00:03:10,071 --> 00:03:11,865
she doesn't know the risk she's taking.
55
00:03:12,365 --> 00:03:15,285
Hey, I have an idea.
Why don't we all look for her?
56
00:03:15,493 --> 00:03:16,953
That can be the purpose of this club.
57
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:19,581
Looking for Cavanaugh's woman.
What do you say?
58
00:03:20,665 --> 00:03:22,375
That's the whole story?
59
00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:24,210
Yeah.
60
00:03:25,503 --> 00:03:33,503
I fell in love with a woman
I couldn't find the next day.
61
00:06:12,462 --> 00:06:14,881
Tell me why not?
Just don't keep saying, "No."
62
00:06:15,089 --> 00:06:16,925
I'm very busy.
63
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,551
That's your reason?
64
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,303
I can give you a lot of reasons.
65
00:06:20,512 --> 00:06:22,805
Give me the real one.
66
00:06:23,014 --> 00:06:24,641
It embarrasses me.
67
00:06:24,849 --> 00:06:27,143
I mean the idea makes me laugh.
68
00:06:27,352 --> 00:06:29,604
Men getting together. What for?
69
00:06:30,855 --> 00:06:33,566
A women's group, I understand.
Politics, rights, wrongs.
70
00:06:33,775 --> 00:06:35,109
They got a lot to talk about.
71
00:06:35,318 --> 00:06:38,029
They talk about their anger,
how to live with it.
72
00:06:38,238 --> 00:06:41,741
Anyhow, being personal
with a roomful of strangers,
73
00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:43,076
it's not my style.
74
00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:44,786
Don't you hear me?
75
00:06:44,994 --> 00:06:47,622
I'm talking about a men's club.
76
00:06:47,830 --> 00:06:51,084
Regular guys. A lawyer, a real estate.
77
00:06:51,292 --> 00:06:52,418
A professor.
78
00:06:52,627 --> 00:06:54,003
Nobody's going to ask for your confession.
79
00:06:54,212 --> 00:06:55,630
Well, I see a high school locker room,
80
00:06:55,838 --> 00:06:59,634
naked boys snapping towels
at each other's balls, that kind of fun.
81
00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:02,762
We don't hang out with the boys.
We're past that.
82
00:07:07,350 --> 00:07:09,519
Anyhow, why me?
83
00:07:09,727 --> 00:07:11,604
How often do we see each other?
84
00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:13,815
Sometimes I see you
on the campus in a crowd of people,
85
00:07:14,023 --> 00:07:18,111
I open my mouth and nothing comes out.
I don't even say hello.
86
00:07:18,319 --> 00:07:20,363
And then you just disappear.
87
00:07:21,447 --> 00:07:26,202
Mr. Cavanaugh, I don't mean to interrupt,
but I get off duty in a few minutes.
88
00:07:26,411 --> 00:07:28,955
Can I have your autograph?
It's for my kid brother.
89
00:07:29,163 --> 00:07:32,041
Could you just sign the menu?
He'll be so thrilled.
90
00:07:32,959 --> 00:07:34,043
What's your name?
91
00:07:34,419 --> 00:07:36,045
Tanya. Thompson.
92
00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:38,548
I live in Mill Valley.
93
00:07:38,756 --> 00:07:40,133
My brother's name is Dickie.
94
00:07:41,301 --> 00:07:42,677
Baseball freak, eh?
95
00:07:43,386 --> 00:07:44,971
Do you know he's got this picture of you?
96
00:07:45,179 --> 00:07:47,140
It's like a poster on his wall.
97
00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:50,018
You're just flying through the air.
98
00:07:52,729 --> 00:07:54,105
That's how I think of you, too.
99
00:07:54,314 --> 00:07:56,899
- Flying through the air.
- Yeah?
100
00:07:57,108 --> 00:07:58,568
I was pretty good, you know?
101
00:07:58,776 --> 00:08:01,946
.320 lifetime. World Series ring.
102
00:08:02,155 --> 00:08:03,823
It's awfully gaudy, that thing.
103
00:08:04,032 --> 00:08:07,827
What are you talking about?
You never came to the games anyway.
104
00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:10,788
Let me tell you something.
105
00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:13,416
I came to games and never told you.
106
00:08:15,168 --> 00:08:16,711
You paid for tickets?
107
00:08:16,919 --> 00:08:19,672
I wanted to be your friend. Not your fan.
108
00:08:21,341 --> 00:08:22,592
You're an asshole.
109
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,886
I could have gotten you in for nothing.
110
00:08:25,094 --> 00:08:26,304
You better come
to this meeting Wednesday night.
111
00:08:26,512 --> 00:08:28,973
I told them I was bringing a professor.
112
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,786
Tanya Thompson, Mill Valley?
113
00:08:51,245 --> 00:08:54,040
No, I don't have the street address.
114
00:08:54,248 --> 00:08:56,959
No, Tanya with a "T"' not a "P."
115
00:08:58,211 --> 00:08:59,962
"T"' like in "tits."
116
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,342
God, you know,
I got so much shit on my tapes.
117
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:06,135
I don't even know what I got.
118
00:09:06,344 --> 00:09:08,805
I mean, I put this one on at random.
119
00:09:10,014 --> 00:09:11,599
Do you tape all your patients?
120
00:09:12,225 --> 00:09:14,560
Well, somebody
could be telling me something.
121
00:09:14,769 --> 00:09:17,772
I'm not hearing 'em.
Later I play the tape, and I hear 'em.
122
00:09:18,314 --> 00:09:19,774
Why don't you hear 'em?
123
00:09:19,982 --> 00:09:22,193
How much does a person have to say?
124
00:09:22,402 --> 00:09:24,112
One thing, that's it.
125
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,614
You know, how a person walks, he says it.
126
00:09:26,823 --> 00:09:29,450
How a person eats, he says it. I tune out.
127
00:09:29,659 --> 00:09:31,035
The machine is my ears.
128
00:09:31,744 --> 00:09:34,997
Well, if you didn't tape everything,
you'd remember.
129
00:09:35,665 --> 00:09:38,835
Hey, that's good. Better write that down.
130
00:09:39,043 --> 00:09:41,462
- It is good, isn't it?
- Yeah.
131
00:09:41,671 --> 00:09:44,048
What did I say?
132
00:09:44,257 --> 00:09:45,800
I don't remember.
133
00:09:47,385 --> 00:09:48,761
Hey, what's bothering you?
134
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:51,514
You know that meeting Wednesday night.
135
00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:54,267
We're supposed to talk
to each other, right?
136
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,186
Yeah. I mean, really talk. Man to man.
137
00:09:57,395 --> 00:09:58,980
A men's club, you dig?
138
00:09:59,188 --> 00:10:01,482
Well, why do you want to tape it?
139
00:10:03,401 --> 00:10:05,278
Well, that's what's bothering you?
140
00:10:05,486 --> 00:10:07,655
Yeah. I don't want a machine
listening to me, man.
141
00:10:07,864 --> 00:10:09,365
I want you listening.
142
00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:11,075
Like you said, man to man.
143
00:10:11,284 --> 00:10:13,202
It's hard enough talking to a person.
144
00:10:22,086 --> 00:10:23,796
Hey, bud!
145
00:10:27,216 --> 00:10:28,843
You do it good.
146
00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:33,848
I've been watching you.
147
00:10:36,476 --> 00:10:38,186
Help me park my car.
148
00:10:40,104 --> 00:10:41,272
Please.
149
00:10:49,947 --> 00:10:52,200
You don't have to tell me you got trouble.
150
00:10:52,408 --> 00:10:53,785
I can see it.
151
00:10:55,703 --> 00:10:57,038
I mean, when it comes
to screwing things up,
152
00:10:57,246 --> 00:11:00,374
or things going wrong, I am the boss.
The leader, the king.
153
00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:04,003
I flew down here
from California to make a deal,
154
00:11:04,212 --> 00:11:07,215
upon which many other deals are hanging.
155
00:11:07,423 --> 00:11:10,802
I mean, there is money moving in California
that's gonna fall flat on its ass
156
00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:12,929
if other money isn't moving here
in Baton Rouge.
157
00:11:14,347 --> 00:11:16,516
Nothing is happening.
158
00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:19,560
I mean, these guys stick me
in a waiting room,
159
00:11:19,769 --> 00:11:21,020
I'm sitting in this waiting room.
160
00:11:21,229 --> 00:11:23,231
They come out and tell me
that the trade is off.
161
00:11:24,524 --> 00:11:32,524
They humiliated me.
162
00:13:19,138 --> 00:13:20,806
Dear Harold,
163
00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:22,934
after six years of
psychoanalysis,
164
00:13:23,142 --> 00:13:26,646
I have finally found out who I really am.
165
00:13:26,854 --> 00:13:30,066
I know how surprised
you might feel
this moment.
166
00:13:30,274 --> 00:13:32,860
I am also surprised.
167
00:13:33,069 --> 00:13:35,529
I hope you can appreciate
how surprising it is for
a person
168
00:13:35,738 --> 00:13:38,282
to discover who she really is.
169
00:13:40,034 --> 00:13:41,661
It's very surprising.
170
00:13:41,869 --> 00:13:44,205
You can keep
the furniture.
171
00:13:44,413 --> 00:13:46,624
I've taken some duplicates.
172
00:13:46,832 --> 00:13:49,293
Sincerely, Daisy.
173
00:13:49,502 --> 00:13:52,588
P.S. There's some tuna fish
in the refrigerator.
174
00:13:52,797 --> 00:13:54,799
I mean, the kitchen.
175
00:13:55,007 --> 00:13:57,093
I've taken the refrigerator.
176
00:14:31,293 --> 00:14:33,212
- What are you doing to me?
- Sorry.
177
00:14:33,421 --> 00:14:35,965
Get off, get off! Get off me!
178
00:14:37,008 --> 00:14:38,134
Jesus.
179
00:14:39,635 --> 00:14:43,931
What is the matter with you?
Can't you even sleep like a normal person?
180
00:14:44,890 --> 00:14:47,435
I gotta get up in the morning with the kids.
You know that. I...
181
00:14:48,227 --> 00:14:50,312
I need my sleep.
182
00:14:50,521 --> 00:14:51,897
I'm so tired.
183
00:14:59,113 --> 00:15:02,408
Don't ever do that to me again.
You really scared me.
184
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:08,372
Tomorrow night, okay?
185
00:15:12,918 --> 00:15:15,588
Tomorrow night, baby.
186
00:15:15,796 --> 00:15:19,842
I'll get a good night's sleep,
and we'll make love.
187
00:15:22,136 --> 00:15:24,013
I'm going to sleep now.
188
00:15:34,523 --> 00:15:36,817
How am I going to write you a letter?
189
00:15:37,026 --> 00:15:38,611
I don't even know your address.
190
00:15:54,752 --> 00:15:58,839
It says here you checked out, Mister.
Are you staying another day?
191
00:16:02,176 --> 00:16:03,594
Check me out.
192
00:16:15,523 --> 00:16:18,692
I have appointment with Dr. Baker.
193
00:16:21,821 --> 00:16:24,240
There's no Dr. Baker in this place, hooch,
194
00:16:24,448 --> 00:16:25,825
so just haul your ass out of here,
195
00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:29,537
and you take your jive
to another emergency room.
196
00:16:29,745 --> 00:16:31,413
Won't I do?
197
00:16:31,622 --> 00:16:32,998
Doctor, she is trouble.
198
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:34,834
Are you a doctor?
199
00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:36,252
I work here.
200
00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:40,422
Dumb job, if you ask me.
Most of those people out there are sick.
201
00:16:40,631 --> 00:16:41,966
It's messy.
202
00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:43,843
Yeah, well, I wear old clothes.
203
00:16:44,051 --> 00:16:46,470
Doctor, emergency entrance, please.
204
00:16:48,305 --> 00:16:51,559
I had one drink, and I fell down the stairs.
205
00:16:51,767 --> 00:16:53,602
I don't know how it happened, Doctor.
206
00:16:53,811 --> 00:16:55,020
I mean, one hears about these things,
207
00:16:55,229 --> 00:16:57,857
yet you never imagine
it might happen to oneself.
208
00:16:58,065 --> 00:17:00,526
It's like a little death, isn't it?
209
00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:03,696
And me, of all people.
I don't even catch cold.
210
00:17:03,904 --> 00:17:04,864
Can you move?
211
00:17:05,364 --> 00:17:07,199
No, no, I don't think so.
212
00:17:07,408 --> 00:17:09,076
I've seen this before.
213
00:17:09,285 --> 00:17:12,705
Usually with women or children
in cases of severe shock.
214
00:17:12,913 --> 00:17:13,956
Kathy, get the ice.
215
00:17:14,165 --> 00:17:15,624
- Big bag?
- Yeah.
216
00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:18,669
Lie very still.
217
00:17:18,878 --> 00:17:21,505
- Don't move.
- I can't move.
218
00:17:21,714 --> 00:17:23,174
I'm paralyzed.
219
00:17:28,762 --> 00:17:32,766
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
220
00:17:32,975 --> 00:17:34,768
Oh, my God! Are you crazy?
221
00:17:34,977 --> 00:17:36,562
What is this place, a torture chamber?
222
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:38,772
I told you, I'm paralyzed!
223
00:17:46,739 --> 00:17:48,365
Thank you, Doctor.
224
00:17:50,242 --> 00:17:52,703
You'll do anything
if I give you a prescription?
225
00:17:53,329 --> 00:17:55,456
Anything.
226
00:17:55,664 --> 00:17:57,333
Anything, Doctor.
227
00:17:57,541 --> 00:18:00,085
I am the queen of kink.
228
00:18:00,294 --> 00:18:03,505
I will do anything you dare say out loud.
229
00:18:04,256 --> 00:18:05,507
Okay.
230
00:18:07,968 --> 00:18:09,970
Play the game one more time.
231
00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:14,600
Just once more.
232
00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:21,232
Five, nine, 17, 41, hot dog, nine, 55,
233
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,651
banana pie, ten, three, zero.
234
00:18:23,859 --> 00:18:25,945
I want it backwards this time,
and I want it fast.
235
00:18:26,737 --> 00:18:30,741
Zero, three, ten, banana pie, 66, nine,
hot dog, 41, 17, nine, five.
236
00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:33,535
You're a genius!
237
00:18:34,036 --> 00:18:36,664
Come on, man, give me a scrip.
238
00:18:38,874 --> 00:18:39,875
I don't know, Felicia.
239
00:18:41,961 --> 00:18:46,382
I tell you, I was beginning to think
you and I had something here, you know?
240
00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:49,802
Some sort of friendship, or even love.
241
00:18:50,010 --> 00:18:54,139
The way a man shows his love
is a test of his character.
242
00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:57,017
Do you really believe that?
243
00:18:57,643 --> 00:19:01,021
Yeah. And you've got no character.
244
00:19:01,230 --> 00:19:02,731
Give me a scrip!
245
00:19:09,029 --> 00:19:10,823
Take off your clothes.
246
00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:17,997
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
I forgot to put the coffee on!
247
00:19:18,205 --> 00:19:21,000
They're out there talking
and I just want to hear what they're saying.
248
00:19:21,208 --> 00:19:22,626
Hannah, Hannah, Hannah.
249
00:19:22,835 --> 00:19:25,504
You go bed, Phoebe honey.
What are you doing keeping her up, Phillip?
250
00:19:25,713 --> 00:19:27,047
God, I have to do everything?
251
00:19:27,256 --> 00:19:30,301
Hannah, I'm making the coffee.
Just go back in.
252
00:19:30,509 --> 00:19:32,261
Well, not too strong.
253
00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:36,557
And put her to bed now, okay?
254
00:19:36,765 --> 00:19:39,476
- Please?
- As soon as I finish cleaning up.
255
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,731
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
256
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:47,901
Kiss Mommy.
257
00:19:56,368 --> 00:19:59,288
You all set for Wednesday night?
258
00:19:59,496 --> 00:20:03,917
Well, I got a guy driving in from San Jose,
another one from San Francisco.
259
00:20:04,126 --> 00:20:05,336
How about you? Are you coming?
260
00:20:05,794 --> 00:20:08,422
Cavanaugh, I don't know.
261
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,342
All right, give me the address again.
262
00:20:11,550 --> 00:20:13,385
Only you could drag me
to something like this.
263
00:20:13,594 --> 00:20:15,763
It's not so easy getting out
of the house, you know?
264
00:20:15,971 --> 00:20:18,682
You just open the door, and you're out.
265
00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:19,933
Kramer's house.
266
00:20:20,601 --> 00:20:22,519
222 Green Street.
267
00:20:22,728 --> 00:20:25,939
Listen, you might even have a little fun.
268
00:20:26,148 --> 00:20:28,025
Come on, Phillip. Do it.
269
00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:31,070
Do it.
270
00:20:33,197 --> 00:20:34,907
I'll think about it.
271
00:20:39,411 --> 00:20:40,871
Wait a minute!
272
00:20:42,748 --> 00:20:44,583
You saying... You're telling us
273
00:20:44,792 --> 00:20:47,878
you wouldn't be jealous
if she made it with another guy.
274
00:20:48,087 --> 00:20:50,047
- Jealous?
- Yeah, jealous.
275
00:20:50,255 --> 00:20:52,633
No, man, I'm liberated.
276
00:20:52,841 --> 00:20:54,051
What the hell does that mean?
277
00:20:54,259 --> 00:20:55,969
I don't feel anything!
278
00:20:57,179 --> 00:20:59,181
Being liberated means
you don't feel anything?
279
00:20:59,681 --> 00:21:00,933
Yeah.
280
00:21:03,185 --> 00:21:04,311
I'm liberated.
281
00:21:04,770 --> 00:21:05,979
You don't feel anything?
282
00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:08,273
Once, I felt something.
283
00:21:09,191 --> 00:21:10,317
Tell us about that.
284
00:21:11,944 --> 00:21:14,780
Tell us about that. Tell us about
the time that you felt something.
285
00:21:15,989 --> 00:21:18,659
- Everybody wanna hear?
- Yeah.
286
00:21:18,867 --> 00:21:20,953
All right. We were
287
00:21:22,454 --> 00:21:23,539
in a...
288
00:21:23,747 --> 00:21:28,210
We had rented a cabin
in the mountains near Tahoe. A ski cabin.
289
00:21:29,503 --> 00:21:32,965
The first night we got a little drunk
after dinner, and somebody...
290
00:21:33,173 --> 00:21:34,383
Maybe me.
291
00:21:35,926 --> 00:21:36,927
Yeah, me.
292
00:21:37,136 --> 00:21:39,263
I said, "Let's trade partners."
293
00:21:39,471 --> 00:21:41,056
- It was my own idea, right?
- Yeah.
294
00:21:41,265 --> 00:21:42,975
Okay, so we traded.
295
00:21:43,183 --> 00:21:45,561
It was okay, it wasn't the first time.
We did it.
296
00:21:45,769 --> 00:21:48,564
But then, I heard my wife moaning.
297
00:21:48,772 --> 00:21:49,940
She was overdoing it,
you know what I mean?
298
00:21:50,149 --> 00:21:52,109
She was moaning with love.
299
00:21:52,317 --> 00:21:53,402
Love?
300
00:21:53,610 --> 00:21:54,987
Yeah. Moaning with love.
301
00:21:57,448 --> 00:21:59,408
Did it ruin your weekend?
302
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,953
It was horrible, man.
303
00:22:03,662 --> 00:22:05,372
I lost my erection.
304
00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:09,376
I was humiliated. I ran...
305
00:22:09,585 --> 00:22:11,295
I ran outside the cabin!
306
00:22:11,503 --> 00:22:13,297
I sat on a rock, and she...
307
00:22:13,505 --> 00:22:17,009
She's hollering through the door,
"Solly! Solly Berliner!"
308
00:22:17,217 --> 00:22:19,428
So she comes outside. She's laughing!
309
00:22:19,636 --> 00:22:21,680
As she finds me, she says
310
00:22:21,889 --> 00:22:23,724
it's not her fault. It was my idea.
311
00:22:23,932 --> 00:22:25,726
I hit her, I said, "That's my idea, too!"
312
00:22:30,105 --> 00:22:31,815
She started crying.
313
00:22:33,025 --> 00:22:36,195
Soon as she started crying,
my erection came back!
314
00:22:37,529 --> 00:22:38,864
So then what happened?
315
00:22:39,364 --> 00:22:41,575
You know what happened.
I mean, it's a cliché.
316
00:22:41,783 --> 00:22:43,452
She hit him and they made it together.
317
00:22:44,077 --> 00:22:46,622
How do you know?
How do you know everything?
318
00:22:46,830 --> 00:22:48,874
I'm telling what happened to me! Me!
319
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,251
All right. All right.
320
00:22:52,419 --> 00:22:53,504
What happened next?
321
00:22:58,008 --> 00:23:00,469
She hit me and we made it together!
322
00:23:02,721 --> 00:23:04,806
It's a love story, isn't it?
323
00:23:07,184 --> 00:23:08,477
You guys call it love.
324
00:23:08,685 --> 00:23:11,355
I call it stories about the other woman.
325
00:23:12,606 --> 00:23:14,107
Moaning, just moaning, she's your wife.
326
00:23:14,316 --> 00:23:17,194
But moaning with love,
she becomes the other woman.
327
00:23:17,402 --> 00:23:20,239
You all think
that only the other woman is interesting.
328
00:23:20,447 --> 00:23:23,283
What, are you trying to tell us
that we don't love our own wives?
329
00:23:23,825 --> 00:23:26,495
Yeah, 'cause if that's what you're trying
to say, you're right.
330
00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:28,121
I hate my wife.
331
00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:35,170
All right, let me talk.
I wanna tell a love story.
332
00:23:35,379 --> 00:23:38,298
Go, man. Sings the blues.
333
00:23:38,507 --> 00:23:43,470
Okay, when I was in college,
I roomed with a woman named Marilyn.
334
00:23:43,679 --> 00:23:44,888
All right?
335
00:23:45,097 --> 00:23:48,058
Now, we went everywhere together.
Movies, concerts, parties.
336
00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:51,562
But there was nothing sexual between us.
337
00:23:54,189 --> 00:23:56,108
We were too close.
338
00:23:56,316 --> 00:23:58,318
It would have been a crime.
339
00:24:00,612 --> 00:24:03,574
One night, Marilyn invites
a girlfriend home to dinner,
340
00:24:03,782 --> 00:24:05,450
who looks something like her.
341
00:24:05,659 --> 00:24:08,787
Same curly, brown hair, same blue eyes.
342
00:24:08,996 --> 00:24:11,748
Before dinner's over,
Marilyn excuses herself, and leaves.
343
00:24:11,957 --> 00:24:14,668
The girlfriend and I are left alone.
344
00:24:14,876 --> 00:24:16,086
It is glorious.
345
00:24:17,379 --> 00:24:20,841
The next day, Marilyn says
that I acted badly at dinner,
346
00:24:21,049 --> 00:24:24,428
practically forcing her out
of her own apartment
347
00:24:24,636 --> 00:24:27,264
I say, "I thought you left as a favor to me."
348
00:24:27,472 --> 00:24:29,891
She said, "I left
because you made it extremely obvious
349
00:24:30,100 --> 00:24:32,519
"that you wanted me out of here.
350
00:24:32,728 --> 00:24:35,564
"Why don't you just admit
that you find me disgusting physically?
351
00:24:35,772 --> 00:24:37,566
"That you always have?"
352
00:24:38,567 --> 00:24:40,527
So I sit down next to her on the couch.
353
00:24:40,736 --> 00:24:42,321
She says, "Get away from me, you pig!"
354
00:24:42,529 --> 00:24:44,448
Jumps up, storms into the bathroom.
355
00:24:44,656 --> 00:24:46,908
I hear her in there, slamming around,
356
00:24:47,117 --> 00:24:50,829
bottles are toppling out
of the medicine cabinet, smashing.
357
00:24:51,038 --> 00:24:53,415
Then she comes out. She's wearing a robe,
358
00:24:53,624 --> 00:24:56,460
nothing underneath, and the robe is open.
359
00:24:57,586 --> 00:25:00,005
And she stands there,
360
00:25:00,213 --> 00:25:02,841
she accuses me of things that
361
00:25:03,050 --> 00:25:06,428
I couldn't have imagined,
let alone thought about her.
362
00:25:08,347 --> 00:25:11,725
Suddenly, I am full of a new feeling.
363
00:25:13,477 --> 00:25:16,146
It's not what a normal person
would call "sexual feeling."
364
00:25:17,481 --> 00:25:20,067
What does your dick know?
It's not a connoisseur of normal sex.
365
00:25:20,734 --> 00:25:23,445
So I find myself
leaping off the couch, grabbing her.
366
00:25:23,654 --> 00:25:25,238
She's twisting, she's trying to hit me,
367
00:25:25,447 --> 00:25:27,574
I mean, she's seriously trying to hurt me.
368
00:25:28,492 --> 00:25:31,912
Then, she begins to collapse,
slides to the floor.
369
00:25:33,664 --> 00:25:38,043
I'm on top of her. I'm in my clothes,
she's laying on her open robe.
370
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,172
It's supernaturally exciting.
371
00:25:42,381 --> 00:25:45,175
We're both just shivering, wild.
372
00:25:47,010 --> 00:25:49,179
We just fall asleep like that.
373
00:25:51,682 --> 00:25:54,393
I wake, and I feel her moving.
374
00:25:54,601 --> 00:25:56,937
We look at each other.
375
00:25:57,145 --> 00:25:58,855
Then she says,
376
00:25:59,064 --> 00:26:01,441
"This is very discouraging."
377
00:26:01,650 --> 00:26:05,028
She gets up and goes to the bedroom
and shuts the door.
378
00:26:05,821 --> 00:26:07,906
I knock. She opens the door.
379
00:26:09,533 --> 00:26:11,785
She lets me kiss her,
380
00:26:11,993 --> 00:26:13,620
and shuts the door.
381
00:26:14,871 --> 00:26:16,957
And I move out the next day.
382
00:26:20,669 --> 00:26:21,878
I like Marilyn.
383
00:26:22,087 --> 00:26:23,422
I always like the other girl.
384
00:26:27,843 --> 00:26:31,930
There was a woman who used to like
to taste my food in restaurants.
385
00:26:32,764 --> 00:26:34,850
I went out with her for months.
I almost married her.
386
00:26:35,058 --> 00:26:36,309
She liked to taste your food?
387
00:26:36,518 --> 00:26:40,147
Deborah Zeller.
Graduate student in anthropology.
388
00:26:40,355 --> 00:26:41,815
Maybe you knew her. She was a...
389
00:26:42,023 --> 00:26:44,901
She lectured a lot,
she had black hair like a swarm of bees.
390
00:26:45,110 --> 00:26:47,738
So, what about Deborah Zeller?
391
00:26:47,946 --> 00:26:49,614
Oh, God.
392
00:26:51,283 --> 00:26:53,034
I'm ashamed.
393
00:26:53,243 --> 00:26:55,203
Man, come on.
394
00:26:55,412 --> 00:26:58,707
This is the 20th century.
You can't feel shame.
395
00:26:58,915 --> 00:27:02,878
Listen, people start feeling shame,
psychotherapists will go out of business.
396
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,672
Kramer, I'm glad
I'm not one of your patients.
397
00:27:05,881 --> 00:27:08,008
Or what is it you call them, your "clients?"
398
00:27:08,216 --> 00:27:10,802
They're sniveling creeps, if you ask me.
399
00:27:11,011 --> 00:27:13,638
My patients are not sniveling creeps.
400
00:27:13,847 --> 00:27:16,808
You know, they come to me in pain.
401
00:27:17,642 --> 00:27:18,894
I get rid of the pain for them.
402
00:27:19,102 --> 00:27:22,481
Yes, yes, I know that you get rid of it,
and everything goes with it, doesn't it?
403
00:27:22,689 --> 00:27:24,316
And I know what I'm talking
about because my wife
404
00:27:24,524 --> 00:27:26,693
was in psychoanalysis for six years.
405
00:27:26,902 --> 00:27:29,946
And that's so she could find out
who she really was,
406
00:27:30,155 --> 00:27:31,406
a greedy little furniture thief.
407
00:27:31,615 --> 00:27:33,283
I came home to an empty house.
408
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:35,452
Women are practical.
409
00:27:36,495 --> 00:27:37,579
When I can't sleep,
410
00:27:37,788 --> 00:27:40,749
I wake up my wife,
and give her a little nookie.
411
00:27:42,125 --> 00:27:43,084
Yeah.
412
00:27:43,293 --> 00:27:45,796
Then I conk right out.
413
00:27:46,004 --> 00:27:47,798
The marriage bed has its benefits.
414
00:27:48,006 --> 00:27:49,424
He's right. He's right.
415
00:27:49,633 --> 00:27:50,634
That's for sure.
416
00:27:50,842 --> 00:27:52,594
But it's different
when you're working it with another girl.
417
00:27:53,220 --> 00:27:54,888
The time, the time.
418
00:27:55,263 --> 00:27:57,224
The conversation.
419
00:27:57,432 --> 00:27:59,976
The kissing. I hate kissing.
420
00:28:00,185 --> 00:28:01,895
Reminds me of Sarah.
421
00:28:02,938 --> 00:28:05,982
I drive home every time saying,
"I'm never gonna do this again."
422
00:28:06,191 --> 00:28:07,609
But I do it again.
423
00:28:07,818 --> 00:28:11,404
That's 'cause you lie to Sarah.
424
00:28:11,613 --> 00:28:13,782
Now, that's why you can't sleep.
425
00:28:13,990 --> 00:28:16,409
I don't lie to her, I lie to me.
426
00:28:16,618 --> 00:28:18,078
I'm out screwing around, right?
427
00:28:18,286 --> 00:28:19,955
I can't wait to get home.
428
00:28:20,163 --> 00:28:22,666
I get home, dinner is set,
429
00:28:22,874 --> 00:28:25,585
table is ready,
kids are all cleaned up waiting for me,
430
00:28:25,794 --> 00:28:27,712
Sarah looks great.
431
00:28:27,921 --> 00:28:30,423
There's a nice little jar
of daisies sitting on the table.
432
00:28:30,632 --> 00:28:32,342
I mean, it's just the way it should be, right?
433
00:28:32,551 --> 00:28:34,052
It's perfect.
434
00:28:34,261 --> 00:28:35,345
We start to eat.
435
00:28:35,554 --> 00:28:38,306
I get the fork
about two inches away from my face,
436
00:28:38,515 --> 00:28:40,851
and I get a nice little whiff of cunt.
437
00:28:41,601 --> 00:28:42,811
And what do I do?
438
00:28:43,895 --> 00:28:47,649
I say, "Sarah,
get those goddamn daisies off the table.
439
00:28:47,858 --> 00:28:51,570
"They're taking up too much room.
We can't eat with daisies!"
440
00:28:54,698 --> 00:28:56,241
I like daisies.
441
00:28:57,909 --> 00:29:00,328
This is what I'm telling her to do.
442
00:29:02,956 --> 00:29:04,249
Not this way with you, huh?
443
00:29:05,667 --> 00:29:07,168
No.
444
00:29:07,377 --> 00:29:10,213
You have no kids.
You haven't paid your dues.
445
00:29:10,714 --> 00:29:13,216
For you, bullshit is a way of life.
446
00:29:16,887 --> 00:29:18,555
Let's not get personal, Cavanaugh.
447
00:29:20,181 --> 00:29:23,101
I hope I'm not getting personal,
but I'm hungry.
448
00:29:23,310 --> 00:29:24,436
Is there anything to eat?
449
00:29:26,438 --> 00:29:28,189
Terry is hungry.
450
00:29:28,398 --> 00:29:31,610
And I believe him,
because I, too, am hungry.
451
00:29:31,818 --> 00:29:35,322
And, guys, you are in luck!
452
00:29:35,530 --> 00:29:37,616
Because, tomorrow,
453
00:29:37,824 --> 00:29:40,619
Nancy is having a luncheon meeting
of her women's group.
454
00:29:40,827 --> 00:29:43,288
- And the refrigerator happens to be packed.
- Oh, man!
455
00:29:43,496 --> 00:29:44,539
Now, let me itemize.
456
00:29:44,748 --> 00:29:46,166
There's different kinds of salad.
457
00:29:46,374 --> 00:29:49,878
There's chicken, turkey.
There's a cold, poached salmon.
458
00:29:50,921 --> 00:29:53,381
And there's pecan pie.
459
00:29:54,382 --> 00:29:56,092
I love pecan pie!
460
00:30:05,894 --> 00:30:06,853
You guy are animals.
461
00:30:07,270 --> 00:30:08,396
Wait a minute, Berliner.
462
00:30:08,605 --> 00:30:11,483
Now, look, there's two lemon pies.
463
00:30:11,691 --> 00:30:13,360
There is a chocolate cake...
464
00:30:20,283 --> 00:30:21,952
There we go!
465
00:30:24,746 --> 00:30:29,584
Gentlemen, I offer you
this food and this Zinfandel!
466
00:30:31,336 --> 00:30:33,338
This is a wonderful club.
467
00:30:34,965 --> 00:30:37,175
This is a wonderful club!
468
00:30:48,436 --> 00:30:50,772
This table, where did you get this table?
469
00:30:50,981 --> 00:30:54,067
I bought it at an auction.
I used tung oil on it.
470
00:30:54,275 --> 00:30:55,568
You licked the table?
471
00:30:55,777 --> 00:30:57,320
Kramer, you know how to run the club.
472
00:30:57,529 --> 00:31:00,991
This is more than a club,
this is a symposium.
473
00:31:01,199 --> 00:31:03,368
But, I mean, we've got great food,
we've got drink.
474
00:31:03,576 --> 00:31:05,328
- We've got talk.
- Yeah.
475
00:31:05,537 --> 00:31:06,746
But we lack something, you know.
476
00:31:07,789 --> 00:31:09,666
We lack entertainment.
477
00:31:09,874 --> 00:31:10,792
We don't lack anything.
478
00:31:11,001 --> 00:31:13,837
I'm glad you reminded me.
Don't anybody move.
479
00:31:21,886 --> 00:31:24,931
What you are about to see, gentlemen,
480
00:31:25,140 --> 00:31:28,184
comes to you from the mysterious east,
481
00:31:28,393 --> 00:31:34,607
where I was first introduced
to this fantastic spectacle of flying steel.
482
00:31:34,816 --> 00:31:35,734
You're not gonna...
483
00:31:42,699 --> 00:31:44,951
Is that a neat thing.
484
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,703
Instruments of perfect beauty,
485
00:31:47,454 --> 00:31:49,956
balance, and...
486
00:31:51,875 --> 00:31:53,501
Death.
487
00:31:54,878 --> 00:31:55,795
Wow.
488
00:31:56,004 --> 00:31:58,715
I won 'em playing poker
in Okinawa with some Marines.
489
00:31:58,923 --> 00:32:00,675
They're very pretty.
490
00:32:00,884 --> 00:32:04,387
They're handmade throwing knives.
Perfectly balanced.
491
00:32:04,596 --> 00:32:07,640
They remind me of my wife.
She's pretty, too.
492
00:32:08,349 --> 00:32:09,350
She's like a knife?
493
00:32:10,143 --> 00:32:11,227
No, she's just pretty.
494
00:32:12,854 --> 00:32:14,939
Big deal. Women are pretty.
495
00:32:17,150 --> 00:32:18,610
She looks pretty, she moves pretty.
496
00:32:18,818 --> 00:32:20,862
She sits cross-legged on the bed
in the middle of the night
497
00:32:21,071 --> 00:32:24,866
and brushes her hair.
I watch her do it, every night.
498
00:32:25,075 --> 00:32:27,911
You know, if I made it with another woman,
it would degrade Hannah.
499
00:32:28,536 --> 00:32:30,080
What if you didn't tell her?
500
00:32:30,955 --> 00:32:32,373
She'd get sick.
501
00:32:32,749 --> 00:32:35,502
Yeah, she'd get sick. She'd get very sick.
502
00:32:35,710 --> 00:32:37,170
She'd need an operation.
503
00:32:41,591 --> 00:32:45,678
For me, one woman makes
another woman necessary.
504
00:32:47,222 --> 00:32:49,557
Remember how I show up
at those parties with Miss Beautiful?
505
00:32:49,766 --> 00:32:52,769
And in 10 minutes, I'll be looking
at every other woman in the room.
506
00:32:52,977 --> 00:32:55,855
I'd feel trapped for the evening.
507
00:32:56,064 --> 00:32:57,398
Tough, eh?
508
00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:01,444
I don't have to tell you what I did
on the road when I was playing ball.
509
00:33:01,653 --> 00:33:02,946
You'd make it with 10,000 groupies.
510
00:33:03,154 --> 00:33:04,155
You're close.
511
00:33:05,907 --> 00:33:08,493
You lack inner resources.
512
00:33:08,701 --> 00:33:10,787
It's not a serious condition.
513
00:33:11,788 --> 00:33:13,289
I love to fuck!
514
00:33:15,458 --> 00:33:17,168
That's serious.
515
00:33:17,377 --> 00:33:20,547
It's gonna be on my gravestone.
"He loved to fuck."
516
00:33:24,050 --> 00:33:26,094
Personally,
517
00:33:26,302 --> 00:33:28,179
I prefer courtship.
518
00:33:28,388 --> 00:33:30,014
I never did much courtship, but like...
519
00:33:31,766 --> 00:33:35,103
I met this woman in Baton Rouge
in a motel parking lot.
520
00:33:35,311 --> 00:33:37,105
Drunk, leaning up against her car,
she couldn't park it right
521
00:33:37,313 --> 00:33:39,399
and she asked me to do it for her.
522
00:33:39,607 --> 00:33:43,069
So, I'm giving her back the keys,
523
00:33:43,278 --> 00:33:45,947
and she says,
"We got nothing in common, bud,
524
00:33:46,156 --> 00:33:48,366
"so don't make any moves on me."
525
00:33:49,409 --> 00:33:53,204
Later she comes back to my room,
I couldn't do anything wrong.
526
00:33:54,414 --> 00:33:56,583
She kissed me,
527
00:33:57,876 --> 00:34:00,128
and put her tongue in my mouth.
528
00:34:01,504 --> 00:34:03,298
That's all that happened?
529
00:34:03,506 --> 00:34:04,465
Everything happened,
530
00:34:04,674 --> 00:34:06,134
but the thing is,
531
00:34:07,343 --> 00:34:08,761
she liked me.
532
00:34:12,765 --> 00:34:14,392
I kissed her, too.
533
00:34:15,226 --> 00:34:16,436
Same way.
534
00:34:17,812 --> 00:34:19,939
I think she really liked me.
535
00:34:21,149 --> 00:34:25,653
Later, when I came home, I told Sheila
I had to talk to her about something.
536
00:34:25,862 --> 00:34:27,697
She said, "Okay, talk."
537
00:34:28,823 --> 00:34:32,202
So I lay down on the floor,
with my suitcases and everything.
538
00:34:32,410 --> 00:34:35,830
She's looking at me
like I'm playing some joke.
539
00:34:36,039 --> 00:34:38,333
I said, "Come down here."
540
00:34:38,541 --> 00:34:40,168
She's half-smiling.
541
00:34:41,544 --> 00:34:44,505
But she drops down on her knees.
She's humoring me.
542
00:34:46,132 --> 00:34:47,967
She says, "Okay, talk.
543
00:34:49,510 --> 00:34:51,888
"What? You buy into the property?"
544
00:34:53,598 --> 00:34:55,350
I said, "Kiss me.
545
00:34:56,267 --> 00:34:58,478
"Put your tongue in my mouth."
546
00:35:00,355 --> 00:35:03,066
She looks at me, a long time,
547
00:35:04,734 --> 00:35:05,944
and says,
548
00:35:08,154 --> 00:35:09,614
"I will not."
549
00:35:14,953 --> 00:35:16,704
I wanted to punch her right in the head.
550
00:35:18,831 --> 00:35:22,210
I understood then the whole problem
with our marriage.
551
00:35:24,003 --> 00:35:25,880
Sheila doesn't like me.
552
00:35:32,428 --> 00:35:34,138
You didn't know your wife didn't like you?
553
00:35:36,808 --> 00:35:38,393
I don't know.
554
00:35:39,310 --> 00:35:43,231
I didn't really understand
until I met the woman in Baton Rouge.
555
00:35:44,399 --> 00:35:46,317
She put her tongue in your mouth.
556
00:35:46,526 --> 00:35:48,194
That's how you knew.
557
00:35:50,113 --> 00:35:51,531
It was words.
558
00:35:53,241 --> 00:35:56,119
How come I didn't have the words
until then?
559
00:35:58,579 --> 00:36:00,790
I knew a woman like yours.
560
00:36:00,999 --> 00:36:04,377
I was alone in the emergency room,
except for a nurse.
561
00:36:04,585 --> 00:36:08,423
And suddenly, this gorgeous
Latino appears, coming down the hall.
562
00:36:08,631 --> 00:36:11,551
She had on high heels, short skirt,
563
00:36:11,759 --> 00:36:13,344
jewelry, rings.
564
00:36:13,553 --> 00:36:15,930
Like the emergency room
was her place to go dancing.
565
00:36:16,806 --> 00:36:19,017
She was nothing like the girl I met.
566
00:36:19,767 --> 00:36:21,269
Yes, she was.
567
00:36:21,477 --> 00:36:23,104
She liked me. We became friends.
568
00:36:23,313 --> 00:36:25,064
Praise the Lord!
569
00:36:28,651 --> 00:36:30,611
Ignore me. Go on, please.
570
00:36:31,821 --> 00:36:34,157
Don't let me interrupt you. I'm sorry.
571
00:36:34,365 --> 00:36:36,326
I think you were telling us all about your...
572
00:36:36,534 --> 00:36:38,244
Your very good friend, weren't you?
573
00:36:51,758 --> 00:36:53,217
In my opinion,
574
00:36:54,302 --> 00:36:56,804
Harold is telling us all to shut up.
575
00:36:57,638 --> 00:37:00,308
Look, I dislike being analyzed, Kramer.
I'm not one of your patients
576
00:37:00,516 --> 00:37:03,478
I'm not one of your clients,
your sniveling creeps.
577
00:37:04,604 --> 00:37:06,814
It's the stories, isn't it?
578
00:37:07,023 --> 00:37:10,109
You see,
not everyone would like our stories.
579
00:37:10,318 --> 00:37:12,153
You don't have to like our stories.
580
00:37:12,362 --> 00:37:15,198
Thank you. I was afraid I had to like them.
581
00:37:16,908 --> 00:37:18,076
The stories are obscene.
582
00:37:19,243 --> 00:37:21,454
And they make me feel soiled.
583
00:37:22,121 --> 00:37:25,291
But I've been sitting here,
and I've been listening.
584
00:37:25,500 --> 00:37:26,834
And I have incurred a debt to this club,
585
00:37:27,043 --> 00:37:28,378
so I think that I should tell a story, too.
586
00:37:28,586 --> 00:37:30,505
But you know
that I don't meet gorgeous Latinos?
587
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,424
I have a perfectly ordinary life.
588
00:37:34,175 --> 00:37:35,927
Nothing happens to me.
589
00:37:36,135 --> 00:37:39,055
It's not ordinary for someone's wife
to disappear with the furniture.
590
00:37:39,263 --> 00:37:40,306
Well, no, maybe not.
591
00:37:40,515 --> 00:37:43,559
But I realized what it meant.
She was leaving me.
592
00:37:44,435 --> 00:37:47,688
She made her point too strongly,
but she could have burned the house down.
593
00:37:47,897 --> 00:37:49,732
- Nothing happens to you?
- No.
594
00:37:50,149 --> 00:37:52,360
Come on, man. Tell the truth.
595
00:37:54,612 --> 00:37:55,863
What do you do?
596
00:37:56,072 --> 00:37:57,490
I'm a lawyer.
597
00:37:57,698 --> 00:38:01,452
I sue people. I read documents.
I write legal instruments.
598
00:38:01,661 --> 00:38:04,455
The work's very hectic. It's full of anxieties.
599
00:38:04,664 --> 00:38:07,542
One of our partners collapsed
at a conference recently.
600
00:38:07,750 --> 00:38:09,585
- That's a story!
- Good, good.
601
00:38:09,794 --> 00:38:12,588
I paid my debt to the club.
Quentin had a heart attack and he died.
602
00:38:12,797 --> 00:38:14,841
Quentin Cohen.
He invited me to this meeting.
603
00:38:15,049 --> 00:38:16,926
- Quentin?
- Yes.
604
00:38:17,135 --> 00:38:18,344
Haven't you noticed that he isn't here?
605
00:38:18,553 --> 00:38:19,929
I mean,
I suppose a lot of others didn't show up.
606
00:38:20,138 --> 00:38:21,764
- Maybe they're all dead.
- Quentin is dead?
607
00:38:21,973 --> 00:38:24,142
Yes, he fell down at a meeting
at the business conference.
608
00:38:24,559 --> 00:38:25,518
Fell down?
609
00:38:27,562 --> 00:38:29,647
- Where?
- Berliner, you know you're harassing me.
610
00:38:29,856 --> 00:38:31,190
- What do you want to hear?
- He was my buddy!
611
00:38:31,399 --> 00:38:33,317
I'm sorry. I didn't know him intimately.
612
00:38:34,527 --> 00:38:36,571
- He had a speech impediment.
- That's right.
613
00:38:37,196 --> 00:38:39,574
I don't intend to go to his funeral.
614
00:38:39,782 --> 00:38:42,118
I'm just here to pay my respects.
615
00:38:44,620 --> 00:38:47,540
Hey, what about some coffee?
616
00:38:47,748 --> 00:38:50,460
Nancy laid out a whole lot of coffee,
for the girls, you know.
617
00:38:50,668 --> 00:38:54,130
Kona, Uganda, Brazil, you know.
I'll mix it up.
618
00:38:54,338 --> 00:38:56,757
- How do you guys like it?
- Sit down!
619
00:39:01,345 --> 00:39:02,889
Doesn't anybody want any coffee?
620
00:39:03,097 --> 00:39:05,641
What is this coffee shit? Harold is talking.
621
00:39:06,184 --> 00:39:09,312
Did we come here to talk,
or to have fucking coffee?
622
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,231
You want some coffee? Go and make it
for yourself, and shove it up your ass.
623
00:39:13,274 --> 00:39:15,318
Hey, didn't you hear
what Harold's been saying?
624
00:39:15,526 --> 00:39:17,445
You know,
that our club is a fucking funeral,
625
00:39:17,653 --> 00:39:19,655
he came to pay his respects to the dead.
626
00:39:19,864 --> 00:39:23,534
You know, your stories are obscene,
my patients are sniveling creeps.
627
00:39:23,743 --> 00:39:26,078
Didn't you hear all of that, Solly?
628
00:39:26,287 --> 00:39:28,080
I thought you were my friend.
629
00:39:28,289 --> 00:39:30,625
Maybe I was wrong about you.
Maybe I ought to kick your ass.
630
00:39:31,042 --> 00:39:32,001
Try it.
631
00:39:33,544 --> 00:39:35,713
Gentlemen, really, really. This is my fault.
632
00:39:35,922 --> 00:39:38,174
I ruined everything
by starting all this dissention.
633
00:39:38,382 --> 00:39:41,552
If you must hit anybody,
I suggest that you hit me.
634
00:39:42,762 --> 00:39:44,222
Fuck it. No.
635
00:39:49,685 --> 00:39:51,604
- Kramer!
- Break it up!
636
00:39:53,105 --> 00:39:54,273
Stop it! Come on!
637
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:58,903
Kramer, stop it!
638
00:40:10,414 --> 00:40:11,916
Deborah was a brilliant woman.
639
00:40:12,124 --> 00:40:13,584
She was wonderful, really wonderful.
640
00:40:13,793 --> 00:40:18,339
She was articulate, she could lecture,
she played tennis like a man.
641
00:40:18,548 --> 00:40:20,007
And she could sing.
642
00:40:20,591 --> 00:40:23,052
And I'm a sucker for singing women.
643
00:40:25,429 --> 00:40:27,265
One time,
644
00:40:27,473 --> 00:40:29,392
driving home from a movie,
645
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,061
she started to sing
Brother, Can You Spare a Dime.
646
00:40:32,853 --> 00:40:34,355
The money blues.
647
00:40:34,564 --> 00:40:36,148
I drove so slowly,
648
00:40:38,442 --> 00:40:40,361
hoping she'd never stop.
649
00:40:44,907 --> 00:40:47,577
As for what happened, I'm still ashamed.
650
00:40:48,911 --> 00:40:51,539
I mean, we were having dinner
in a restaurant in San Francisco,
651
00:40:51,747 --> 00:40:54,083
and I was trying to impress her.
652
00:40:54,292 --> 00:40:56,752
Let her know
that doctors know about food, too.
653
00:40:57,587 --> 00:41:01,966
And this dessert I ordered
was strawberries under flaming chocolate.
654
00:41:02,174 --> 00:41:06,053
And I wasn't just eating it,
I was committing it to memory.
655
00:41:06,262 --> 00:41:07,763
And Deborah was giving me
looks of approval,
656
00:41:07,972 --> 00:41:11,684
as if to say how much she enjoyed
my pleasure in the dessert.
657
00:41:13,019 --> 00:41:15,229
And suddenly, she takes her fork,
658
00:41:15,438 --> 00:41:19,025
and she sticks it into my strawberries
without asking my permission.
659
00:41:21,193 --> 00:41:23,696
Many things about her I admired.
660
00:41:23,904 --> 00:41:28,743
But nobody puts herself
between my plate and my mouth.
661
00:41:30,328 --> 00:41:31,954
She sticks her fork in the dessert,
662
00:41:32,163 --> 00:41:35,583
and she hacks away a piece
and she shoves it in her mouth,
663
00:41:35,791 --> 00:41:38,336
and she starts rolling it around.
664
00:41:38,544 --> 00:41:41,631
A bulge in one cheek, and then
there's this bulge in the other cheek.
665
00:41:41,839 --> 00:41:46,052
And she's smiling at me
as if we're sharing this delicious dessert.
666
00:41:46,260 --> 00:41:47,762
What'd you do?
667
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,600
I kicked her under the table.
668
00:41:53,809 --> 00:41:54,977
Wow.
669
00:41:58,981 --> 00:42:03,736
She screamed, and she started to fall back,
but her chair got caught in the rug.
670
00:42:03,944 --> 00:42:05,363
I kicked her again,
671
00:42:06,072 --> 00:42:07,782
and again and again.
672
00:42:08,866 --> 00:42:11,911
She was stabbing at my foot with her fork.
673
00:42:12,119 --> 00:42:14,997
I was wearing thin Italian shoes,
she could have stabbed right through.
674
00:42:16,999 --> 00:42:18,751
What a bitch she was.
675
00:42:20,002 --> 00:42:21,170
Did you know her?
676
00:42:22,421 --> 00:42:24,715
Know her? Why should I know her?
677
00:42:26,509 --> 00:42:29,095
You can't end an affair like that
with just a kick under the table.
678
00:42:29,762 --> 00:42:32,807
You're right. I should call her.
679
00:42:37,144 --> 00:42:41,440
I'm glad I told that story,
'cause now I finally understand how I feel.
680
00:42:43,693 --> 00:42:46,862
She's waiting for my call, I can feel it.
She's waiting for it.
681
00:42:47,071 --> 00:42:48,698
How long has it been
since you spoke to her?
682
00:42:49,365 --> 00:42:50,449
Five years.
683
00:42:55,246 --> 00:42:56,539
Well then, call her.
684
00:42:58,249 --> 00:43:01,794
No, man, don't call her. Please.
685
00:43:02,002 --> 00:43:04,672
Come on. You're with us tonight.
686
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,467
Hey, look. Harold says
we gotta do something physical.
687
00:43:08,676 --> 00:43:10,803
I mean, that's what this club needs.
688
00:43:11,011 --> 00:43:12,346
I know. Wait a minute.
689
00:43:13,931 --> 00:43:16,183
How about I teach you
how to throw these little beauties?
690
00:43:16,392 --> 00:43:17,435
It's night time.
691
00:43:17,643 --> 00:43:19,353
- So?
- It's dark. We'll lose the knives.
692
00:43:19,562 --> 00:43:21,105
All right, we'll do it in here.
693
00:43:21,313 --> 00:43:22,815
At the kitchen door.
694
00:43:23,482 --> 00:43:24,775
Like this. Look, I'll show you.
695
00:43:29,321 --> 00:43:30,781
Hey, Paul. Take care of the table.
696
00:43:30,990 --> 00:43:32,491
- Okay.
- Here we go.
697
00:43:33,367 --> 00:43:34,410
And...
698
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:39,248
All right.
699
00:43:42,001 --> 00:43:43,294
All right.
700
00:43:47,173 --> 00:43:49,800
- Cavanaugh.
- Look at him! Look at him!
701
00:43:51,927 --> 00:43:53,137
Come on!
702
00:43:57,850 --> 00:43:58,809
Now, Paul.
703
00:43:59,143 --> 00:44:00,394
- Come on, come on.
- Okay.
704
00:44:09,737 --> 00:44:11,322
- Oh, no. Not me.
- Come on.
705
00:44:14,867 --> 00:44:16,577
Something physical.
706
00:44:17,870 --> 00:44:19,413
Look at him.
707
00:44:23,959 --> 00:44:26,462
- I've never done that before.
- You're an Indian.
708
00:44:26,670 --> 00:44:28,464
Let's see who can beat that.
709
00:44:28,964 --> 00:44:30,716
I think so.
710
00:44:34,178 --> 00:44:35,805
Will you throw the knife?
711
00:44:42,937 --> 00:44:44,313
Come on, let's go!
712
00:44:52,822 --> 00:44:54,406
Just a little low. Just a little low.
713
00:44:54,615 --> 00:44:57,576
I'm going to bring it right up to center.
Watch this.
714
00:45:02,289 --> 00:45:04,458
It's the glasses, the glasses.
715
00:45:12,925 --> 00:45:14,552
Well, next time.
716
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:15,928
Wing it!
717
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:19,265
Good one!
718
00:45:27,606 --> 00:45:28,941
You know, he's a natural.
719
00:45:32,278 --> 00:45:33,237
Don't worry about it.
720
00:45:41,453 --> 00:45:42,705
Are you sure this is okay?
721
00:45:59,638 --> 00:46:02,600
You know, usually at this time of night,
I'm in my backyard,
722
00:46:02,808 --> 00:46:07,688
I'm in my robe and my slippers
and I'm beating my dog with a magazine.
723
00:46:07,897 --> 00:46:10,983
It's amazing.
He starts to howl when he hears the sirens,
724
00:46:11,191 --> 00:46:12,818
and every dog in the neighborhood howls.
725
00:46:13,027 --> 00:46:14,570
I mean,
it's the most ghastly sound you ever heard.
726
00:46:14,778 --> 00:46:16,822
It's not ghastly at all.
727
00:46:17,031 --> 00:46:18,991
I played ball for a summer team
called The Red Wolves.
728
00:46:19,199 --> 00:46:22,661
If we won, we'd go into the locker room
and howl. It's terrific.
729
00:47:07,831 --> 00:47:09,416
I'll clean it up tomorrow.
730
00:47:09,959 --> 00:47:11,460
Tonight.
731
00:47:11,669 --> 00:47:12,795
Tonight.
732
00:47:18,217 --> 00:47:19,510
Hi, Nancy.
733
00:47:20,803 --> 00:47:22,054
Hi, Solly.
734
00:47:22,262 --> 00:47:26,141
It's no problem, Nancy, we'll clean it up.
735
00:47:26,350 --> 00:47:27,810
Come on, guys.
736
00:47:34,233 --> 00:47:36,026
Hey! You got your hair cut.
737
00:47:36,485 --> 00:47:38,570
Wow, it looks good. Very good.
738
00:47:39,905 --> 00:47:41,281
I like it, too.
739
00:47:41,782 --> 00:47:42,825
Thanks.
740
00:47:43,033 --> 00:47:44,451
Yeah, the horizontal look.
741
00:47:44,660 --> 00:47:46,787
It's in. Very, very in.
742
00:47:46,996 --> 00:47:50,207
Yeah, one of my clients
had her hair cut with the vertical look.
743
00:47:50,416 --> 00:47:53,127
And the very same day, she sees a model
on the cover of a magazine
744
00:47:53,335 --> 00:47:56,130
with her hair totally fucking opposite
from hers. I mean, you know...
745
00:47:56,547 --> 00:47:59,091
She goes vertical,
the rest of the world goes horizontal.
746
00:47:59,425 --> 00:48:02,928
I mean, it really destroyed her.
Made her feel stupid.
747
00:48:04,138 --> 00:48:06,682
Vertical. Everybody else is horizontal.
748
00:48:07,683 --> 00:48:08,809
She went deaf for a week.
749
00:48:09,018 --> 00:48:11,645
Do you think it's fair
talking about her like that?
750
00:48:11,854 --> 00:48:13,272
Yeah.
751
00:48:13,772 --> 00:48:15,441
Hey, where did you get it cut?
San Francisco?
752
00:48:15,649 --> 00:48:17,443
A woman friend of mine cut it for me.
753
00:48:17,651 --> 00:48:19,570
It's a good job.
754
00:48:20,029 --> 00:48:21,321
Yeah, what do you call it?
755
00:48:21,947 --> 00:48:23,699
Layered? Right?
756
00:48:23,907 --> 00:48:25,826
Sort of the windblown look.
757
00:48:26,035 --> 00:48:28,954
Like the beach. Windy beach.
758
00:48:32,332 --> 00:48:35,169
Yeah. Your friend really did a good job.
759
00:48:35,377 --> 00:48:39,214
Hey, my client paid 80 bucks
to get her hair cut,
760
00:48:39,590 --> 00:48:41,967
then she had to come
and talk to me about it afterwards.
761
00:48:42,176 --> 00:48:43,635
So another 50 bucks.
762
00:48:43,844 --> 00:48:46,972
You figure, 130 bucks for a haircut?
763
00:48:47,181 --> 00:48:48,307
Plus going deaf.
764
00:48:48,515 --> 00:48:49,683
I mean...
765
00:48:52,519 --> 00:48:54,730
I'll take care of those marks.
766
00:49:10,037 --> 00:49:11,705
Must have been hungry.
767
00:49:11,914 --> 00:49:14,708
Yeah, God. We were starving.
768
00:49:14,917 --> 00:49:17,628
Listen, I'll replace the food, yeah.
769
00:49:17,836 --> 00:49:22,216
I'll have it catered.
You know, chicken, salmon, everything.
770
00:49:22,424 --> 00:49:25,260
What time
is your women's group coming over?
771
00:49:26,845 --> 00:49:28,222
I feel invaded.
772
00:49:29,098 --> 00:49:30,265
Invaded.
773
00:49:31,100 --> 00:49:32,392
How do you feel about that?
774
00:49:33,477 --> 00:49:36,021
Why don't you put it on tape?
775
00:49:36,230 --> 00:49:37,189
Put it on tape?
776
00:49:37,648 --> 00:49:39,149
We could put it on a tape.
777
00:49:40,442 --> 00:49:43,153
I think I could express myself
without putting it on tape.
778
00:49:43,362 --> 00:49:45,823
Although, I think even now,
you think by expressing myself,
779
00:49:46,031 --> 00:49:48,575
I'm like, cutting your balls off.
I mean, I sense negative vibes, you know.
780
00:49:48,784 --> 00:49:50,285
I think you think I'm ruining your party.
781
00:49:50,744 --> 00:49:51,912
I...
782
00:49:52,121 --> 00:49:54,873
Listen, you're not responsible
for my feelings.
783
00:49:55,332 --> 00:49:57,543
- Right. Right.
- I mean, I could be feeling what I'm feeling.
784
00:49:57,751 --> 00:50:00,170
Right, I understand.
785
00:50:00,379 --> 00:50:02,089
I appreciate your feelings
about your freedom.
786
00:50:02,464 --> 00:50:06,426
Yeah, and I appreciate,
like, how you want to express yourself.
787
00:50:06,844 --> 00:50:09,221
But you just don't think
I should express myself right this minute.
788
00:50:09,429 --> 00:50:11,265
Do you think I could, like,
express myself later?
789
00:50:11,682 --> 00:50:12,683
Could be later.
790
00:50:13,016 --> 00:50:15,102
Sure, sure, I understand, yeah.
It could be later.
791
00:50:15,936 --> 00:50:17,646
- Right.
- Sure, that's cool.
792
00:50:17,855 --> 00:50:20,190
We could sit down later. Talk.
793
00:50:20,732 --> 00:50:24,862
Right. We could sit down and talk
over a cup of coffee in the morning.
794
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,322
- This is the morning.
- Right.
795
00:50:33,203 --> 00:50:36,957
It's gonna be okay.
She's a nag, but she's in control.
796
00:50:37,166 --> 00:50:38,000
Oh, no.
797
00:50:38,208 --> 00:50:39,293
Don't!
798
00:50:45,090 --> 00:50:47,301
I feel you're feeling anger.
799
00:50:47,843 --> 00:50:49,970
I want to express myself, like, now!
800
00:50:50,470 --> 00:50:52,222
I feel you're feeling anger.
801
00:50:52,431 --> 00:50:54,850
Now, how do you feel about that?
802
00:50:59,980 --> 00:51:02,399
I don't want to talk to you!
803
00:51:03,734 --> 00:51:04,943
Okay.
804
00:51:12,618 --> 00:51:15,662
Tonight! You clean up tonight!
805
00:51:17,581 --> 00:51:20,584
I don't know what's going on. You know...
806
00:51:20,792 --> 00:51:24,213
She never nags, never complains,
807
00:51:24,421 --> 00:51:27,174
never has moods, never even gets sick.
808
00:51:28,383 --> 00:51:30,969
Now, all of a sudden, she has a tizzy.
809
00:51:33,013 --> 00:51:35,515
- What the hell is going on?
- Stop moving.
810
00:51:35,724 --> 00:51:37,684
I thought we had an understanding.
811
00:51:37,893 --> 00:51:39,645
Anyone could see that.
812
00:51:42,981 --> 00:51:44,316
You want us to clean up, man?
813
00:51:44,524 --> 00:51:45,651
Yeah, we can clean up. We can...
814
00:51:45,859 --> 00:51:48,654
No! No! You're my guests.
815
00:51:48,862 --> 00:51:50,197
Hey, listen.
816
00:51:52,824 --> 00:51:55,744
Why don't you guys
go out somewhere, you know?
817
00:51:55,953 --> 00:51:58,789
- Enjoy yourselves.
- No, we really would like to help.
818
00:51:58,997 --> 00:52:00,249
Forget it.
819
00:52:06,004 --> 00:52:09,132
She does that when she's mad.
But only sometimes.
820
00:52:10,509 --> 00:52:11,760
Wait!
821
00:52:18,475 --> 00:52:21,645
The Victorian dresser. Big mother.
822
00:52:23,063 --> 00:52:25,190
I don't know how she did it.
823
00:52:26,858 --> 00:52:30,529
Must be really pissed. Really pissed.
824
00:52:33,657 --> 00:52:34,783
Well...
825
00:52:36,535 --> 00:52:39,746
I'm really glad
you guys came by this evening, you know.
826
00:52:39,955 --> 00:52:45,168
I really enjoyed tonight.
And, you know, I wanna do it again.
827
00:52:45,377 --> 00:52:49,381
Thing is, I need to work
out a better schedule with Nancy.
828
00:52:49,589 --> 00:52:51,591
You know, I mean, I see that now,
that's our problem.
829
00:52:52,467 --> 00:52:54,428
We need a better schedule.
830
00:52:56,638 --> 00:52:59,683
Well, listen, you guys,
it's time for you to go home now.
831
00:52:59,891 --> 00:53:03,270
I mean, she'd never say anything so uncool,
832
00:53:03,478 --> 00:53:08,400
but, you know, I know her.
I see what she's, like, trying to say.
833
00:53:08,608 --> 00:53:10,610
- You take care of that, hear?
- Yeah.
834
00:53:10,819 --> 00:53:13,238
I mean, if you hang around,
835
00:53:13,447 --> 00:53:15,615
it could fuck up my marriage.
836
00:53:16,366 --> 00:53:18,327
Gentlemen, I have got an idea.
837
00:53:18,535 --> 00:53:19,870
Would you let me buy you all breakfast?
838
00:53:20,078 --> 00:53:21,663
I know a wonderful place in San Francisco.
839
00:53:21,872 --> 00:53:23,707
They've got great music,
they've got wonderful food.
840
00:53:23,915 --> 00:53:26,877
Well, there's entertainment
I think you'll like.
841
00:53:27,085 --> 00:53:30,172
Yeah, yeah, go. Great idea.
842
00:53:30,380 --> 00:53:32,257
- Good night.
- Good night.
843
00:53:32,466 --> 00:53:34,676
- Good night.
- Take care of yourself, man.
844
00:53:34,885 --> 00:53:36,136
Right.
845
00:53:36,345 --> 00:53:38,221
For he's a jolly good fellow
846
00:53:38,430 --> 00:53:40,474
For he's a jolly good fellow
847
00:53:43,310 --> 00:53:44,770
Look.
848
00:53:47,731 --> 00:53:49,524
Need to make a call.
849
00:53:53,779 --> 00:53:56,156
- Are you ordering food?
- I'm fine.
850
00:54:03,663 --> 00:54:05,957
Yes, hello. This is Harold Canterbury.
851
00:54:06,166 --> 00:54:08,251
My law firm represents Max Rogers.
852
00:54:08,460 --> 00:54:09,878
I'm with a party of six,
853
00:54:10,087 --> 00:54:12,172
and I was wondering
if you could possibly take us.
854
00:54:42,619 --> 00:54:45,163
How do you do? I'm Harold Canterbury.
855
00:54:45,372 --> 00:54:47,582
How have you been, Harold?
856
00:54:47,791 --> 00:54:50,293
I believe you have the advantage of me.
857
00:54:50,502 --> 00:54:52,379
Well, I used to be a redhead.
858
00:54:53,505 --> 00:54:57,050
I telephoned a short while ago.
I know this is short notice, but...
859
00:54:57,968 --> 00:55:00,887
Show us some identification, Harold,
and maybe I'll remember.
860
00:55:01,555 --> 00:55:02,597
Okay.
861
00:55:07,602 --> 00:55:09,438
They're not cops.
862
00:55:13,191 --> 00:55:16,528
Come on, Jo. They're pumpkins.
863
00:55:17,446 --> 00:55:18,572
It's late.
864
00:55:20,031 --> 00:55:22,367
Throw caution to the winds.
865
00:55:22,576 --> 00:55:27,122
Welcome, pumpkins.
Welcome to the House of Affections.
866
00:55:37,215 --> 00:55:39,050
Girls, I'm here!
867
00:55:41,011 --> 00:55:42,762
They moved the floor. I'll sue you!
868
00:55:43,305 --> 00:55:45,474
I hope you don't sue us, darling.
869
00:55:45,682 --> 00:55:48,560
I swear I got here as fast
as I could, sweetheart.
870
00:55:48,768 --> 00:55:51,813
But I got kidnapped by this gang of fairies.
871
00:55:52,022 --> 00:55:53,690
An ass like mine is irresistible.
872
00:55:54,524 --> 00:55:56,485
I have that problem, too.
873
00:56:26,932 --> 00:56:29,017
- Where do I sign?
- At the X.
874
00:56:29,226 --> 00:56:30,644
The sticker price is $4,500.
875
00:56:30,852 --> 00:56:33,688
Any arrangement you have
with Max suits me.
876
00:56:33,897 --> 00:56:36,483
I want everything he gets.
877
00:56:36,691 --> 00:56:38,235
Of course, Harold.
878
00:56:39,778 --> 00:56:41,780
And now I'll introduce you to Teensy.
879
00:56:41,988 --> 00:56:44,783
Of course. Who's Teensy?
880
00:56:44,991 --> 00:56:46,493
Your bonus.
881
00:56:46,701 --> 00:56:49,162
She's very much in demand.
882
00:56:49,371 --> 00:56:51,623
Max always asks for Teensy.
883
00:57:00,048 --> 00:57:01,383
Would you like a drink?
884
00:57:02,050 --> 00:57:03,343
Thank you.
885
00:57:05,720 --> 00:57:07,847
- How 'bout you?
- Yeah. Thanks.
886
00:57:13,853 --> 00:57:15,647
Glad you came?
887
00:57:15,855 --> 00:57:18,900
Yeah, I could have missed all this.
888
00:57:20,902 --> 00:57:22,904
What's bothering you?
889
00:57:23,113 --> 00:57:25,824
It means a lot to me
that you're here tonight.
890
00:57:26,032 --> 00:57:29,744
Christ sakes,
we never see each other, we never talk.
891
00:57:29,953 --> 00:57:32,205
You've said more than I wanna hear.
892
00:57:32,956 --> 00:57:35,875
You know, Sarah's a friend of mine.
893
00:57:37,085 --> 00:57:39,629
I don't wanna know things about her
that she doesn't know,
894
00:57:39,838 --> 00:57:41,756
you know, know that I know.
895
00:57:41,965 --> 00:57:44,259
I feel compromised
You know, I can never talk to her
896
00:57:44,467 --> 00:57:46,595
the same way ever again.
897
00:57:46,803 --> 00:57:48,597
You fucking understand that?
898
00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:51,891
She wants a divorce.
899
00:57:56,062 --> 00:57:57,230
Again?
900
00:57:59,941 --> 00:58:02,652
She thinks she's in love with some guy.
901
00:58:04,321 --> 00:58:05,989
Can you believe it?
902
00:58:08,033 --> 00:58:09,618
Been killing me for weeks.
903
00:58:21,755 --> 00:58:24,549
I wanna sympathize. I really do, I want...
904
00:58:26,009 --> 00:58:27,969
The only thing that I can remember
905
00:58:28,178 --> 00:58:30,472
is that whole parade of beautiful women.
906
00:58:32,223 --> 00:58:36,603
Every one looking so small, so obedient
next to the star, the big hero.
907
00:58:39,189 --> 00:58:41,316
Have you ever wanted Sarah in particular?
908
00:58:41,900 --> 00:58:43,401
Do you know where you are
as you're saying this to me?
909
00:58:43,610 --> 00:58:45,612
Do you know where you fucking are
at this moment?
910
00:58:46,696 --> 00:58:49,324
I tell Sarah the truth,
and she wants a divorce.
911
00:58:49,532 --> 00:58:50,992
I tell you the truth and you get hysterical.
912
00:58:51,201 --> 00:58:54,579
I know where I am!
I've been in places like this before.
913
00:58:55,038 --> 00:58:57,040
Trouble with you is
you never get out of your head.
914
00:58:57,499 --> 00:58:59,334
I do what I want to do.
915
00:59:02,295 --> 00:59:03,588
All right.
916
00:59:05,131 --> 00:59:06,633
All right. Do you wanna keep Sarah?
917
00:59:08,843 --> 00:59:11,471
I'll tell you what you do.
918
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:12,722
Go home.
919
00:59:15,058 --> 00:59:16,267
Right now.
920
00:59:16,851 --> 00:59:19,646
Go home and tell her that you love her.
921
00:59:19,854 --> 00:59:22,691
Tell her that she's the center of your world.
922
00:59:22,899 --> 00:59:24,442
Tell her that you can't live without her.
923
00:59:25,110 --> 00:59:27,779
Tell her anything to keep her in place.
924
00:59:28,988 --> 00:59:31,658
And hurry right back.
We'll be waiting for you.
925
00:59:33,326 --> 00:59:35,912
We both fucking know
that you're gonna be back here. Don't we?
926
00:59:36,121 --> 00:59:37,288
Don't we?
927
01:00:06,317 --> 01:00:07,819
How are you tonight?
928
01:00:08,027 --> 01:00:09,070
Okay.
929
01:00:10,697 --> 01:00:12,282
- Hi, fellas.
- Hello.
930
01:00:12,490 --> 01:00:14,659
- I'm Lake.
- Of course you are.
931
01:00:16,828 --> 01:00:19,205
What an extraordinary, beautiful name.
932
01:00:19,414 --> 01:00:21,541
I'm Terry, and this is Paul.
933
01:00:24,461 --> 01:00:25,587
Hello.
934
01:00:27,172 --> 01:00:31,134
"So, we could talk to each other,
man to man. You know, really talk.
935
01:00:31,342 --> 01:00:33,094
"Man to man."
936
01:00:33,303 --> 01:00:36,931
Except, a woman comes along
and it's every man for himself.
937
01:00:38,183 --> 01:00:39,851
My name is Allison.
938
01:00:40,810 --> 01:00:43,438
I knew that. I could tell that.
939
01:00:54,365 --> 01:00:55,909
You're gorgeous.
940
01:00:59,204 --> 01:01:01,289
Put your tongue in my mouth.
941
01:01:36,074 --> 01:01:37,575
My name's Page.
942
01:01:39,911 --> 01:01:41,538
You wanna hurt me?
943
01:01:45,834 --> 01:01:48,461
Why would I wanna do that?
944
01:01:48,670 --> 01:01:50,880
Because I'm hurting you, lover.
945
01:01:52,799 --> 01:01:55,301
I feel where the pain is the worst.
946
01:01:57,262 --> 01:02:00,056
What do you say
we do something to ease it?
947
01:02:14,946 --> 01:02:16,698
How do you like this look, Jo?
948
01:02:16,906 --> 01:02:18,700
Never tried it before.
949
01:02:19,909 --> 01:02:21,160
It's you.
950
01:02:22,579 --> 01:02:25,206
Teensy, meet Harold.
951
01:02:26,374 --> 01:02:28,668
Harold, do you like this look?
952
01:02:28,877 --> 01:02:30,670
Not too vulgar, is it?
953
01:02:32,046 --> 01:02:34,841
- It's ravishing.
- Want me to do one on you?
954
01:02:36,175 --> 01:02:38,636
Harold doesn't wear makeup, Teensy.
955
01:02:41,055 --> 01:02:42,849
Ask him about his job.
956
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,814
Tell me about your job, Harold.
957
01:02:53,234 --> 01:02:55,153
I'm a lawyer.
958
01:02:55,361 --> 01:02:56,446
I...
959
01:02:57,655 --> 01:02:59,949
I do corporate law. It isn't interesting.
960
01:03:00,742 --> 01:03:03,036
Ask him if he's married, Teensy.
961
01:03:04,495 --> 01:03:05,872
Are you married?
962
01:03:06,331 --> 01:03:07,916
My wife left me.
963
01:03:09,959 --> 01:03:11,586
Change the subject, Teensy.
964
01:03:12,086 --> 01:03:14,005
Tell me about your wife.
965
01:03:15,089 --> 01:03:17,008
Change the subject, Teensy.
966
01:03:17,216 --> 01:03:18,426
Was she pretty?
967
01:03:18,635 --> 01:03:19,719
Yes.
968
01:03:20,470 --> 01:03:21,471
Was she a good fuck?
969
01:03:21,679 --> 01:03:23,014
I think so, yes.
970
01:03:23,681 --> 01:03:26,184
But there was stuff she wouldn't do.
A man needs more than a good fuck.
971
01:03:26,726 --> 01:03:28,686
No, there was nothing she wouldn't do.
972
01:03:29,896 --> 01:03:32,565
So what was the trouble? She stupid?
973
01:03:33,816 --> 01:03:35,902
She could tie her shoelaces.
974
01:03:37,779 --> 01:03:39,113
She was stupid.
975
01:03:39,322 --> 01:03:40,615
But you loved her.
976
01:03:40,823 --> 01:03:41,783
Yes.
977
01:03:48,456 --> 01:03:52,043
Poor Harold. I know that kind of bitch.
978
01:03:52,961 --> 01:03:54,045
She wore too much perfume.
979
01:03:54,253 --> 01:03:56,839
She was always buying clothes
that didn't look right.
980
01:03:57,048 --> 01:03:59,509
She couldn't balance her checkbook.
981
01:04:00,468 --> 01:04:01,761
You pity her, Harold?
982
01:04:03,638 --> 01:04:04,681
I didn't want to.
983
01:04:05,306 --> 01:04:07,433
How could you help it? She had no taste.
984
01:04:07,642 --> 01:04:09,602
She couldn't understand your jokes.
985
01:04:09,811 --> 01:04:12,105
She made you talk slow.
986
01:04:12,313 --> 01:04:15,066
She never understood a word you said.
987
01:04:17,485 --> 01:04:19,195
You want me to stay, Harold?
988
01:04:28,079 --> 01:04:29,414
You can go.
989
01:04:42,176 --> 01:04:44,929
- What was your stupid wife's name?
- Daisy.
990
01:04:49,767 --> 01:04:51,602
Sounds like a sleeper.
991
01:04:56,274 --> 01:04:58,776
Was she a sleeper, Harold?
992
01:04:58,985 --> 01:05:04,282
Well, she certainly slept a great deal.
That's what you mean, isn't it?
993
01:05:04,490 --> 01:05:07,035
More or less.
994
01:05:07,243 --> 01:05:09,746
- She a pill-head?
- I really loved her.
995
01:05:12,999 --> 01:05:14,208
You said that already.
996
01:05:16,294 --> 01:05:18,588
You're a monotonous man, Harold.
997
01:05:20,757 --> 01:05:22,717
You're a Johnny-one-note.
998
01:05:25,511 --> 01:05:26,929
Yes, you are.
999
01:05:32,143 --> 01:05:35,188
That was like music.
1000
01:05:37,023 --> 01:05:38,733
Like poetry.
1001
01:05:40,193 --> 01:05:42,779
Like...
1002
01:05:42,987 --> 01:05:46,741
Don't you have any feelings
that aren't like something?
1003
01:05:48,576 --> 01:05:52,497
Hey, lover,
why can't you let me do my job?
1004
01:05:53,289 --> 01:05:55,208
You did it.
1005
01:05:55,416 --> 01:05:57,460
Don't ruin it with bullshit.
1006
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:02,340
That's my job.
1007
01:06:05,676 --> 01:06:08,888
My real name is Cynthia. I hate it.
1008
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:11,557
You know what I did?
1009
01:06:12,892 --> 01:06:14,894
What did you do? Tell me.
1010
01:06:15,103 --> 01:06:19,273
I had a bunch of cards printed up
so I could give them away to people.
1011
01:06:19,482 --> 01:06:24,278
And there was one word
printed on the card. It said, "Lake."
1012
01:06:27,031 --> 01:06:28,282
Your name.
1013
01:06:28,491 --> 01:06:30,910
With my phone number underneath it.
1014
01:06:44,632 --> 01:06:45,967
You...
1015
01:06:46,175 --> 01:06:50,179
Go ahead and say that again.
Only this time, say it really slowly.
1016
01:06:56,936 --> 01:06:58,938
Man, that's eerie.
1017
01:06:59,147 --> 01:07:00,523
It's erotic.
1018
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:04,110
I think I'm gonna have an eruption.
1019
01:07:12,535 --> 01:07:14,245
Come on, let's go to my room.
1020
01:07:14,453 --> 01:07:17,123
I'm sorry, I can't. I...
1021
01:07:17,331 --> 01:07:18,374
This is the first night...
1022
01:07:18,583 --> 01:07:21,878
This is, like, the first night
in 15 years I haven't been with my wife.
1023
01:07:22,170 --> 01:07:23,212
Come on.
1024
01:07:23,421 --> 01:07:25,548
This is hard for me.
1025
01:07:25,756 --> 01:07:27,216
I love my wife.
1026
01:07:28,384 --> 01:07:31,512
Know what I mean?
I mean, when I'm with her, I...
1027
01:07:31,721 --> 01:07:33,431
I don't have to try...
1028
01:07:34,974 --> 01:07:37,059
...to live, you know?
1029
01:07:39,478 --> 01:07:41,606
You're a mean son of a bitch.
1030
01:07:43,649 --> 01:07:45,443
That's good.
1031
01:07:45,651 --> 01:07:48,821
Come on, baby, talk... Talk dirty to me.
1032
01:07:50,198 --> 01:07:51,240
What?
1033
01:07:55,244 --> 01:07:57,997
Well, I'm listening.
1034
01:08:02,210 --> 01:08:04,712
I'm an old fashioned sort of person.
1035
01:08:05,588 --> 01:08:10,343
I need to have, you know, some kind
of relationship with a person before...
1036
01:08:11,093 --> 01:08:13,679
Why don't you tell me something
about yourself?
1037
01:08:13,888 --> 01:08:15,556
Me?
1038
01:08:15,765 --> 01:08:18,059
You want me to talk about myself?
1039
01:08:18,267 --> 01:08:22,980
Well, that's very old fashioned,
but what have I got to talk about?
1040
01:08:23,689 --> 01:08:27,193
Where are you from?
Things like that. Just simple things.
1041
01:08:27,401 --> 01:08:28,819
Simple things?
1042
01:08:31,822 --> 01:08:34,283
Simple things, my ass.
1043
01:08:35,117 --> 01:08:37,203
You wanna know, like,
1044
01:08:37,411 --> 01:08:40,748
how I got turned out and all that?
1045
01:08:42,250 --> 01:08:45,378
Well, if I wasn't doing this,
I'd be doing something else.
1046
01:08:47,380 --> 01:08:50,174
Look, honey, I never finished high school.
1047
01:08:51,425 --> 01:08:52,760
I'm boring.
1048
01:08:53,761 --> 01:08:56,347
I am so boring.
1049
01:08:57,348 --> 01:09:00,393
Really, really boring.
1050
01:09:02,061 --> 01:09:04,730
You wanna hear something interesting?
1051
01:09:04,939 --> 01:09:06,357
Listen to this.
1052
01:09:15,574 --> 01:09:17,034
That's French.
1053
01:09:22,665 --> 01:09:26,794
Go ahead, baby, talk any language you like.
1054
01:09:27,586 --> 01:09:31,465
But you think if...
If you don't mind too much,
1055
01:09:31,674 --> 01:09:34,302
could you hold me while we talk?
1056
01:09:41,225 --> 01:09:42,476
Like this?
1057
01:09:43,769 --> 01:09:45,396
Tighter.
1058
01:09:45,604 --> 01:09:48,232
See, the thing is,
1059
01:09:49,608 --> 01:09:50,985
when I talk,
1060
01:09:53,696 --> 01:09:57,074
I depress myself. Know what I mean?
1061
01:10:00,328 --> 01:10:01,954
Tighter.
1062
01:10:02,163 --> 01:10:05,374
- Tighter, tighter.
- Give me that goddamn machine!
1063
01:10:07,335 --> 01:10:09,462
You have ego problems.
1064
01:10:10,338 --> 01:10:12,631
You just lie down and shut up!
1065
01:10:13,966 --> 01:10:16,552
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
1066
01:10:24,310 --> 01:10:26,604
You must be some kind of animal.
1067
01:10:27,646 --> 01:10:29,940
Mercy! I mean
merci.
1068
01:10:32,777 --> 01:10:35,529
Do I remind you of your wife?
1069
01:10:35,738 --> 01:10:38,282
Not yet. Complain about something.
1070
01:10:41,077 --> 01:10:42,953
You're okay, Solly.
1071
01:10:47,124 --> 01:10:49,668
Can I ask you a personal question?
1072
01:10:49,877 --> 01:10:51,796
I do it for money.
1073
01:10:55,049 --> 01:10:57,593
I thought you did it for the exercise.
1074
01:10:57,802 --> 01:11:00,262
Comes with the job.
1075
01:11:00,471 --> 01:11:03,015
All the girls here are in great shape.
1076
01:11:05,226 --> 01:11:07,353
I want nice clothes.
1077
01:11:07,561 --> 01:11:09,480
I want to be independent.
1078
01:11:09,688 --> 01:11:11,857
Have a good time.
1079
01:11:12,066 --> 01:11:14,068
Do anything else?
1080
01:11:14,276 --> 01:11:15,986
I'm writing a book.
1081
01:11:16,195 --> 01:11:17,571
About whores?
1082
01:11:18,489 --> 01:11:20,241
I mean, prostitutes?
1083
01:11:21,367 --> 01:11:23,786
No. About married men.
1084
01:11:29,583 --> 01:11:32,128
Put me in it, will you?
I'll tell you anything you wanna know.
1085
01:11:32,336 --> 01:11:35,214
- Have dinner with me.
- It's against the rules.
1086
01:11:35,423 --> 01:11:38,092
Fuck the rules.
I know a great Mexican restaurant.
1087
01:11:38,300 --> 01:11:40,094
Got fantastic burritos and enchiladas
1088
01:11:40,302 --> 01:11:44,473
and a little band
of fucking midget Mexican guitar players.
1089
01:11:44,682 --> 01:11:45,724
- There's something...
- You'll love it.
1090
01:11:45,933 --> 01:11:48,018
...about our relationship
that you don't understand.
1091
01:11:48,227 --> 01:11:49,395
How about Italian?
1092
01:11:49,603 --> 01:11:51,939
- The answer's no.
- McDonald's. I'll buy you a hamburger.
1093
01:11:52,148 --> 01:11:54,608
Solly. Let's go to my room.
1094
01:12:00,030 --> 01:12:02,825
All right. Wanna go to your room?
Come on, let's go, let's go.
1095
01:12:11,625 --> 01:12:14,712
- Hey, take it easy.
- You are easy.
1096
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:17,381
What the hell are you doing? Jesus!
1097
01:12:17,590 --> 01:12:19,049
Now, do you hit?
1098
01:12:20,426 --> 01:12:21,385
Well, you don't want dinner.
1099
01:12:21,594 --> 01:12:23,929
Come on, I'll give you what you want.
1100
01:12:25,222 --> 01:12:26,474
- You're crazy!
- Tell me what you want.
1101
01:12:26,682 --> 01:12:28,309
You want me to fuck you?
1102
01:12:36,942 --> 01:12:39,820
That's Billy. You want her?
1103
01:12:41,447 --> 01:12:43,866
I wanna watch you dance with her.
1104
01:13:57,565 --> 01:13:59,567
I can't believe what I'm watching.
1105
01:14:02,027 --> 01:14:03,362
How venal.
1106
01:14:04,488 --> 01:14:06,615
Look at that son of a bitch.
1107
01:14:09,785 --> 01:14:14,373
Well, in this dream,
people speak to me in Chinese.
1108
01:14:15,916 --> 01:14:17,710
And I understand them.
1109
01:14:19,336 --> 01:14:23,215
Not only that, I answer them in Chinese.
1110
01:14:24,300 --> 01:14:25,342
So?
1111
01:14:26,927 --> 01:14:29,179
So, I don't speak Chinese.
1112
01:14:30,431 --> 01:14:32,182
What's it all about?
1113
01:14:35,728 --> 01:14:38,022
It means you're not really you.
1114
01:14:39,231 --> 01:14:40,899
You're a lost soul.
1115
01:14:42,526 --> 01:14:44,695
You mean I'm really Chinese?
1116
01:14:46,113 --> 01:14:48,991
But I'm walking around like this?
1117
01:14:49,199 --> 01:14:51,410
Like I'm me, but not really me?
1118
01:14:53,287 --> 01:14:54,830
You got it.
1119
01:14:55,039 --> 01:14:56,540
Wow.
1120
01:14:58,500 --> 01:15:00,753
I'm gonna have cards printed up.
1121
01:15:01,754 --> 01:15:04,006
They're gonna say, "Lost Soul."
1122
01:15:07,301 --> 01:15:09,720
With your phone number underneath.
1123
01:15:09,928 --> 01:15:11,305
Yeah.
1124
01:15:20,272 --> 01:15:21,732
Are you a fag?
1125
01:15:22,941 --> 01:15:23,984
No.
1126
01:15:25,527 --> 01:15:28,072
Wouldn't bother me if you were.
1127
01:15:28,280 --> 01:15:30,366
It wouldn't bother me either.
1128
01:15:31,158 --> 01:15:33,118
You can tell me anything.
1129
01:15:34,370 --> 01:15:36,455
I wanna tell you things.
1130
01:15:36,664 --> 01:15:37,665
I wanna hear.
1131
01:15:38,707 --> 01:15:41,210
Tell me what you're most ashamed of.
1132
01:15:44,505 --> 01:15:46,131
I find you very appealing.
1133
01:15:50,678 --> 01:15:54,556
Harold, I'm really into this,
but I don't know about you.
1134
01:15:54,765 --> 01:15:56,850
You don't move.
1135
01:15:57,059 --> 01:16:00,479
You don't say anything
unless I ask you something first.
1136
01:16:03,315 --> 01:16:04,608
Oh, Jesus.
1137
01:16:06,318 --> 01:16:08,404
You mind if I do some more?
1138
01:16:09,321 --> 01:16:11,865
No, I think I would mind if you didn't.
1139
01:16:28,799 --> 01:16:30,634
You are a horse.
1140
01:16:43,272 --> 01:16:46,567
Just take it real easy.
1141
01:17:30,819 --> 01:17:31,820
That's good.
1142
01:17:34,865 --> 01:17:37,451
What's the matter with you?
1143
01:17:37,659 --> 01:17:39,161
I wanna call Hannah.
1144
01:17:39,369 --> 01:17:40,996
Who's Hannah?
1145
01:17:41,205 --> 01:17:43,749
It's his old lady, can you believe it?
1146
01:17:43,957 --> 01:17:47,336
Why don't you? Pick up a phone.
Make an ass out of yourself.
1147
01:17:47,544 --> 01:17:50,130
"Hello, Hannah, I got laid tonight.
1148
01:17:50,339 --> 01:17:51,548
"Is that all right with you, honey?"
1149
01:17:51,757 --> 01:17:53,884
Cut it out, he's feeling low.
1150
01:17:55,469 --> 01:17:57,304
Listen to me, Phillip.
1151
01:17:58,472 --> 01:18:00,474
It gets easier.
1152
01:18:03,018 --> 01:18:05,437
You'll be calling me.
1153
01:18:07,564 --> 01:18:09,233
We'll see.
1154
01:18:09,441 --> 01:18:11,109
Anybody else?
Anybody else wanna say something?
1155
01:18:11,318 --> 01:18:12,569
What would you like to say?
1156
01:18:13,654 --> 01:18:16,031
- Would you like to say something?
- It's your dime.
1157
01:18:17,908 --> 01:18:19,326
Any comments?
1158
01:18:20,452 --> 01:18:23,163
I stopped going to confession years ago.
1159
01:18:24,122 --> 01:18:25,374
Yeah?
1160
01:18:27,251 --> 01:18:29,628
Still, it has a cleansing effect.
1161
01:18:39,388 --> 01:18:40,973
Hi. Guess who.
1162
01:18:42,766 --> 01:18:45,018
That's what I want to tell you.
1163
01:18:46,311 --> 01:18:47,604
I'm in San Francisco.
1164
01:18:48,981 --> 01:18:51,191
Right. The club meeting moved.
1165
01:18:51,817 --> 01:18:53,151
Hannah, listen to me.
1166
01:18:55,612 --> 01:18:57,322
I'm in a whorehouse.
1167
01:18:58,657 --> 01:19:01,076
No, not a warehouse, a whorehouse.
1168
01:19:03,036 --> 01:19:04,705
Six of us are here.
1169
01:19:06,415 --> 01:19:08,792
Right. Men are animals.
1170
01:19:10,210 --> 01:19:11,169
Me?
1171
01:19:11,587 --> 01:19:14,172
Mainly I watched. I watched Cavanaugh.
1172
01:19:14,673 --> 01:19:17,050
He screwed two women on the floor.
1173
01:19:18,427 --> 01:19:19,761
No, I'm not joking.
1174
01:19:20,387 --> 01:19:22,472
Right in front of everybody.
1175
01:19:26,184 --> 01:19:28,312
He's just that way.
1176
01:19:31,690 --> 01:19:33,525
No, I shouldn't laugh.
1177
01:19:34,192 --> 01:19:37,487
He's my best friend.
But, you know, you're right.
1178
01:19:40,657 --> 01:19:42,659
No, just go back to sleep.
1179
01:19:44,494 --> 01:19:46,705
No, you don't have to call Sarah.
1180
01:19:46,914 --> 01:19:48,457
She's leaving him.
1181
01:19:49,875 --> 01:19:50,959
Yeah.
1182
01:19:54,796 --> 01:19:56,298
What'd she say?
1183
01:19:56,840 --> 01:19:58,759
I wanna hear every word.
1184
01:20:01,720 --> 01:20:02,888
She said
1185
01:20:05,057 --> 01:20:06,600
that the temperature is 55,
1186
01:20:06,808 --> 01:20:08,226
but is expected to be sunny
and mild tomorrow,
1187
01:20:08,435 --> 01:20:11,521
but small craft warnings
have been issued along the coast.
1188
01:20:13,941 --> 01:20:17,194
She said it again and again and again.
1189
01:20:26,536 --> 01:20:28,538
I feel so much better now.
1190
01:21:33,520 --> 01:21:35,439
You like me, don't you?
1191
01:21:38,150 --> 01:21:40,027
I'm sorry I fucked you.
1192
01:21:43,280 --> 01:21:45,115
You're not the first.
1193
01:21:45,323 --> 01:21:47,701
It should have gone the other way.
1194
01:21:47,909 --> 01:21:51,371
I should have really liked you,
then fucked you.
1195
01:21:54,249 --> 01:21:57,127
I can hardly wait to tell that to the girls.
1196
01:21:58,211 --> 01:22:00,172
What do you like about me?
1197
01:22:01,923 --> 01:22:03,133
My legs?
1198
01:22:05,719 --> 01:22:07,846
I've been told they are fine.
1199
01:22:09,639 --> 01:22:11,016
I'm serious.
1200
01:22:16,354 --> 01:22:17,689
Sweet Solly.
1201
01:22:20,692 --> 01:22:23,070
Really, really sweet.
1202
01:22:25,614 --> 01:22:27,908
I'm crazy about you, too.
1203
01:22:29,951 --> 01:22:31,578
No, really, I am.
1204
01:22:37,959 --> 01:22:40,295
But let's not get too serious.
1205
01:22:40,504 --> 01:22:43,924
Don't touch me, don't touch me,
just leave me alone.
1206
01:22:45,759 --> 01:22:48,261
Men come here for one reason, Solly.
1207
01:22:49,387 --> 01:22:51,223
They don't want a woman to love.
1208
01:22:57,062 --> 01:22:59,231
There's a guy who comes here,
1209
01:23:00,107 --> 01:23:02,317
doesn't want me to do anything
1210
01:23:03,443 --> 01:23:05,529
except watch him masturbate.
1211
01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:09,950
You guys never do anything else, anyway.
1212
01:23:11,201 --> 01:23:13,203
I'm not masturbating!
1213
01:23:13,411 --> 01:23:15,080
I'm in love with you.
1214
01:23:18,500 --> 01:23:20,961
You're embarrassing me.
1215
01:23:21,169 --> 01:23:24,005
If you don't know how to behave
in a decent, civilized way, well then...
1216
01:23:24,214 --> 01:23:26,591
I wanna marry you!
1217
01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:28,635
I wanna marry you!
1218
01:23:28,844 --> 01:23:31,054
Is that so fucking uncivilized?
1219
01:23:39,396 --> 01:23:41,690
And what are we drinking, lover?
1220
01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:43,942
Leave it alone.
1221
01:23:45,777 --> 01:23:49,239
The minute I leave the room,
you go and hurt yourself.
1222
01:23:49,447 --> 01:23:51,408
Let's put something on that.
1223
01:23:51,616 --> 01:23:55,120
It's my fault.
I knew I shouldn't have left you alone.
1224
01:23:58,582 --> 01:24:00,667
I had a feeling about you.
1225
01:24:00,876 --> 01:24:04,671
It is your fault. All I wanted to do was talk.
1226
01:24:12,554 --> 01:24:15,182
Have you danced with her yet?
1227
01:24:15,390 --> 01:24:18,560
Hey, come on, Solly. Come on.
1228
01:24:18,768 --> 01:24:21,479
You know, you look
like you need it more than I do.
1229
01:24:21,688 --> 01:24:23,106
Be nice to him.
1230
01:24:35,285 --> 01:24:37,037
Billy, get over here.
1231
01:24:38,496 --> 01:24:41,082
Jo, I didn't do anything.
The guy's out of his mind.
1232
01:24:41,291 --> 01:24:44,002
Somebody deal with him right now,
or I will.
1233
01:24:44,544 --> 01:24:46,338
What's going on, man?
1234
01:24:49,049 --> 01:24:51,843
What's wrong? What'd she do to you?
1235
01:24:55,055 --> 01:24:57,015
Come back here. Come here.
1236
01:25:04,356 --> 01:25:06,775
I'm sorry. I didn't mean...
1237
01:25:11,905 --> 01:25:13,782
What's the matter, man?
1238
01:25:15,492 --> 01:25:16,534
Her.
1239
01:25:18,536 --> 01:25:21,206
- Her?
- No. Her.
1240
01:25:21,414 --> 01:25:23,750
She won't have dinner with me.
It's against the rules.
1241
01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:26,211
Hey, you!
1242
01:25:27,337 --> 01:25:29,381
Come over here!
1243
01:25:29,589 --> 01:25:31,716
Do what he says. Don't worry.
1244
01:25:32,717 --> 01:25:35,303
What's all this shit about the rules?
1245
01:25:40,100 --> 01:25:41,893
There she is.
1246
01:25:42,102 --> 01:25:43,478
What have you got to say for yourself?
1247
01:25:43,895 --> 01:25:46,189
He thinks he's in love with me.
1248
01:25:47,232 --> 01:25:50,068
He wants me to break
the rules and have dinner with him.
1249
01:25:51,194 --> 01:25:52,570
Is that true, Solly?
1250
01:25:53,321 --> 01:25:54,948
I wanna marry her.
1251
01:25:56,032 --> 01:25:57,325
Cavanaugh,
1252
01:25:58,410 --> 01:26:01,496
I don't want to be treated like a sex object.
I'm a person.
1253
01:26:03,540 --> 01:26:06,251
You treated my friend like a sex object?
1254
01:26:08,545 --> 01:26:10,630
You gotta make it up to him.
1255
01:26:12,048 --> 01:26:13,758
Solly's a person.
1256
01:26:13,967 --> 01:26:15,802
You are both nuts!
1257
01:26:16,011 --> 01:26:17,095
Say you'll marry him.
1258
01:26:23,935 --> 01:26:25,145
I'll marry you.
1259
01:26:26,855 --> 01:26:28,481
I don't like you too much.
1260
01:26:31,318 --> 01:26:33,903
Say you'll go to dinner with him, too.
1261
01:26:36,781 --> 01:26:38,700
I'll have dinner with you, too.
1262
01:26:39,576 --> 01:26:41,244
She's afraid.
1263
01:26:41,453 --> 01:26:43,997
Jo will throw her out
if she has dinner with me.
1264
01:26:44,873 --> 01:26:46,458
Let's hear it, Jo.
1265
01:26:46,875 --> 01:26:50,628
Let me not to the marriage
of true minds be a problem.
1266
01:26:52,172 --> 01:26:54,132
I wanna help these kids.
1267
01:26:56,051 --> 01:26:57,344
- Harold.
- Yes?
1268
01:26:57,552 --> 01:26:59,387
We are in need of your services.
1269
01:27:00,513 --> 01:27:02,057
Marry these two.
1270
01:27:03,475 --> 01:27:06,519
Well, I would really like to oblige,
but, you know, I'm only a lawyer.
1271
01:27:06,728 --> 01:27:08,646
It's just not within my power.
1272
01:27:08,855 --> 01:27:10,231
Harold, come off it.
1273
01:27:10,732 --> 01:27:14,444
Anyone can see you're a witch doctor.
This is well within your power.
1274
01:27:15,236 --> 01:27:18,198
Jo, you aren't going to go along with this,
are you?
1275
01:27:20,367 --> 01:27:22,160
I mean, it's ridiculous.
1276
01:27:24,245 --> 01:27:26,664
I can't get married in this dress.
1277
01:27:29,292 --> 01:27:31,920
- Help her out, girls.
- I'm thrilled.
1278
01:27:32,128 --> 01:27:33,463
I love weddings.
1279
01:27:33,671 --> 01:27:35,548
Jo, this is our first wedding, isn't it?
1280
01:27:35,757 --> 01:27:37,175
I'll get the flowers.
1281
01:27:37,384 --> 01:27:40,220
And I have the perfect dress.
A real wedding dress.
1282
01:27:40,428 --> 01:27:42,347
I wear it for the weirdos.
1283
01:27:45,058 --> 01:27:46,559
Is this for real?
1284
01:27:46,768 --> 01:27:49,187
I mean, I know it's not, but is it?
1285
01:27:53,525 --> 01:27:54,651
Great.
1286
01:29:09,017 --> 01:29:11,769
Now, we can't have a wedding
without a ring.
1287
01:29:14,522 --> 01:29:15,815
It was my great grandmother's ring.
1288
01:29:17,400 --> 01:29:19,152
I want it back, Alli.
1289
01:29:23,823 --> 01:29:26,826
Dearly, beloved.
We are gathered here together
1290
01:29:27,035 --> 01:29:29,370
in this sacred house
in the presence of these men and women
1291
01:29:29,579 --> 01:29:32,081
to join this man, Solly Berliner,
and this woman...
1292
01:29:32,290 --> 01:29:34,083
What's your name?
1293
01:29:34,292 --> 01:29:35,502
I'm the bride.
1294
01:29:36,336 --> 01:29:38,004
Solly and the bride.
1295
01:29:38,213 --> 01:29:40,298
Show some respect for tradition.
1296
01:29:40,507 --> 01:29:42,509
Recite a poem or something.
1297
01:29:42,717 --> 01:29:44,344
Hey, Solly, think about what you're doing.
1298
01:29:44,844 --> 01:29:46,804
I mean, you hardly even know this woman.
1299
01:29:47,514 --> 01:29:48,515
I know her.
1300
01:29:48,723 --> 01:29:50,642
You never saw her before tonight.
1301
01:29:51,226 --> 01:29:52,560
I fucked her twice.
1302
01:29:52,769 --> 01:29:54,437
Was that what you were doing?
1303
01:29:54,854 --> 01:29:57,482
Well, you gotta do it more than that, man.
1304
01:29:57,690 --> 01:29:59,150
You gotta do it for years!
1305
01:29:59,359 --> 01:30:02,737
Solly's doing the right thing.
She's a wonderful girl.
1306
01:30:03,446 --> 01:30:04,822
It won't last.
1307
01:30:05,365 --> 01:30:07,116
Nothing lasts, Cavanaugh.
1308
01:30:07,325 --> 01:30:08,368
We keep trying.
1309
01:30:08,576 --> 01:30:09,744
Bullshit!
1310
01:30:10,495 --> 01:30:12,330
How about that poem, Harold?
1311
01:30:12,539 --> 01:30:13,706
Do it, Harold.
1312
01:30:16,584 --> 01:30:20,129
"Hickory, dickory, dock
The mouse ran up the clock
1313
01:30:20,922 --> 01:30:22,006
"The clock struck one..."
1314
01:30:22,215 --> 01:30:24,217
The rest escaped with minor injuries.
1315
01:30:24,425 --> 01:30:26,052
Is that the only poem that you know?
1316
01:30:26,386 --> 01:30:28,846
- Get this show on the road!
- Okay.
1317
01:30:31,516 --> 01:30:33,226
Do you, Solly, take this woman...
1318
01:30:33,434 --> 01:30:35,144
- Whore!
- Woman!
1319
01:30:35,645 --> 01:30:37,021
- Whore!
- Woman!
1320
01:30:37,230 --> 01:30:38,273
I said whore!
1321
01:30:43,570 --> 01:30:44,862
Cavanaugh,
1322
01:30:45,905 --> 01:30:47,699
you got a real problem, you know that?
1323
01:30:47,907 --> 01:30:50,285
You must be some kind of faggot.
That's why Sarah needs another man!
1324
01:30:52,495 --> 01:30:54,372
Come on, Cavanaugh, break it up.
1325
01:30:54,581 --> 01:30:55,790
All right, come on.
1326
01:30:55,999 --> 01:30:58,126
All right, come on,
I'm not afraid of you anymore.
1327
01:30:58,334 --> 01:30:59,377
Come on, let's settle this!
1328
01:31:00,003 --> 01:31:01,212
Come on!
1329
01:31:04,257 --> 01:31:07,969
This is my wedding, you son of a bitch.
Her name is Allison!
1330
01:31:10,847 --> 01:31:12,140
Cavanaugh!
1331
01:31:28,865 --> 01:31:29,991
Hi, Jo.
1332
01:31:31,534 --> 01:31:32,744
How you been?
1333
01:31:32,952 --> 01:31:34,746
Very fine, and you?
1334
01:31:36,247 --> 01:31:39,626
I take it you got some objection
to marriage ceremonies?
1335
01:31:42,629 --> 01:31:44,464
We already been there.
1336
01:31:47,300 --> 01:31:49,260
We all started at the altar.
1337
01:31:49,927 --> 01:31:53,389
I was just trying to explain
that to the guys when you
1338
01:31:54,599 --> 01:31:56,643
interrupted our discussion.
1339
01:31:58,394 --> 01:32:00,938
I mean, if it's ceremonies they want,
1340
01:32:02,523 --> 01:32:04,609
maybe they should all go home,
1341
01:32:04,817 --> 01:32:06,903
where there's one going on
every fucking minute!
1342
01:32:11,908 --> 01:32:15,953
Just one long, long,
long, long, empty ceremony!
1343
01:32:16,162 --> 01:32:17,747
I need something more.
1344
01:32:17,955 --> 01:32:19,749
I need something real!
1345
01:32:22,126 --> 01:32:24,712
You protest too much, Cavanaugh.
1346
01:32:24,921 --> 01:32:28,883
As far as I can see, this ceremony
is the realest thing you know.
1347
01:32:30,718 --> 01:32:33,012
You're no different from them.
1348
01:32:34,514 --> 01:32:36,099
You're a husband.
1349
01:32:37,809 --> 01:32:39,727
And the worst kind, too.
1350
01:32:40,561 --> 01:32:44,107
The kind who never stops
thinking he's a lover.
1351
01:32:50,071 --> 01:32:51,823
Stand back, motherfucker.
1352
01:32:55,034 --> 01:32:56,828
You be the man you are,
1353
01:32:57,036 --> 01:33:00,873
or the next shot gets you
where the sun never shines.
1354
01:33:06,129 --> 01:33:09,382
If anybody knows a reason why this man
and woman should not be joined
1355
01:33:09,590 --> 01:33:11,592
in holy matrimony,
1356
01:33:11,801 --> 01:33:14,846
speak now, or forever hold your peace.
1357
01:33:21,728 --> 01:33:24,480
Let the ceremony continue,
Mr. Canterbury.
1358
01:33:26,399 --> 01:33:32,572
Bride here, groom here, preacher here.
1359
01:33:35,491 --> 01:33:37,368
Now, I was going to recite another poem,
1360
01:33:37,577 --> 01:33:40,872
but none really comes to mind.
Do you think anybody could oblige?
1361
01:33:42,623 --> 01:33:47,211
"You did not know, till now
Whom to love, or how
1362
01:33:48,129 --> 01:33:51,841
"But be glad, be happy
For now you know
1363
01:33:52,049 --> 01:33:55,762
"It's she of whom it has been sung
1364
01:33:56,679 --> 01:33:58,765
"She makes the old man young
1365
01:33:59,807 --> 01:34:01,642
"Keeps middle age away
1366
01:34:02,977 --> 01:34:05,354
"Lets nothing in your heart decay
1367
01:34:06,564 --> 01:34:09,358
"She is the reason why all the world
1368
01:34:09,567 --> 01:34:11,360
"For love may die"
1369
01:34:14,572 --> 01:34:16,532
And now, Allison,
1370
01:34:17,784 --> 01:34:21,120
do you take this man, Solly,
to be your lawful wedded husband?
1371
01:34:22,538 --> 01:34:23,748
All right.
1372
01:34:24,290 --> 01:34:26,918
No, come on. Say, "I do."
1373
01:34:29,879 --> 01:34:30,922
I do.
1374
01:34:33,049 --> 01:34:35,927
Good. I now pronounce you man and wife.
1375
01:34:36,803 --> 01:34:37,929
Solly?
1376
01:34:47,605 --> 01:34:49,482
You can kiss the bride.
1377
01:34:57,031 --> 01:34:58,533
Come on, Solly.
1378
01:35:00,660 --> 01:35:02,537
Do it the way you're supposed to.
1379
01:35:22,014 --> 01:35:23,516
- Who wants to catch?
- I do!
1380
01:35:29,689 --> 01:35:31,274
Congratulations.
1381
01:35:34,610 --> 01:35:36,779
I need the keys to the pickup.
1382
01:35:38,239 --> 01:35:39,448
What for?
1383
01:35:41,868 --> 01:35:43,119
Our honeymoon.
1384
01:35:46,455 --> 01:35:48,207
You done good, Solly.
1385
01:35:58,885 --> 01:36:01,053
We're going on our honeymoon!
1386
01:36:06,851 --> 01:36:09,312
All right, somebody get some tin cans
and some string.
1387
01:36:15,693 --> 01:36:17,862
Everybody, wait! Tomorrow's the weekend.
1388
01:36:18,070 --> 01:36:20,489
I've got a place in Tahoe.
It's big enough for all of us.
1389
01:36:20,698 --> 01:36:21,824
We'll honeymoon with you.
What do you say?
1390
01:36:22,033 --> 01:36:23,284
Great idea!
1391
01:36:37,673 --> 01:36:40,051
We're off! To Tahoe real fast.
1392
01:36:55,900 --> 01:36:57,526
Aren't you going?
1393
01:37:01,030 --> 01:37:09,030
I'm going home.
96240