Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:03,292
[Music playing]
2
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:18,103
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:21,524
Come aboard.
4
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:26,441
we're expecting you.
5
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:38,246
And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow.
6
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:43,039
It floats back to you.
7
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:50,176
The love boat soon will
be making another run.
8
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:58,978
The love boat promises
something for everyone.
9
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:02,938
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
10
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:14,618
And love won't hurt anymore.
11
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:22,329
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
12
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,165
It's love.
13
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,674
Welcome aboard.
14
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:29,705
It's love.
15
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,155
[Mysterious music]
16
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,590
[Chatter]
17
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:10,001
Gopher: Bye-bye.
18
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,378
So long.
19
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,174
Sir?
20
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,848
Frank fenimore,
private investigator.
21
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:17,798
What can we do for you, sir?
22
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:20,347
I'm looking for a young woman.
23
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:20,471
Who isn't?
24
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,557
Her name is Doris Holden.
25
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:29,265
I have information that
she's booked on this cruise.
26
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:30,437
Doris Holden.
27
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,815
Uh, we don't have anybody
listed by that name, sir.
28
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,152
That figures.
29
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,197
She's probably using an alias.
30
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,201
What does she want it for?
31
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,244
Oh, I read about this.
32
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,616
This is a big
juicy divorce case.
33
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,914
Frank fenimore: She works
for state senator kadden.
34
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,578
Now she knows everything there
is to know about this case.
35
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,707
The only problem is she's
been ducking me for weeks.
36
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,505
Well, if she is coming
aboard, she's going
37
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,429
to have to use that gangway.
38
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:59,798
If she thinks she's gonna
give me this slip this time,
39
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,388
she's got another thing coming.
40
00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:09,687
Mirror, mirror in her hand.
41
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,692
The fair Julie expect a man?
42
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,364
No, just something in my eye.
43
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,783
Yeah, anticipation.
44
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,491
Come on, you can tell me.
45
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,701
All right.
46
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:20,741
His name is Steve, and
according to my friend Sandy,
47
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:23,195
he's a real catch.
48
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,696
If he's such a catch,
why doesn't Sandy grab him?
49
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:27,207
Sandy's a guy.
50
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,880
And from what he tells me,
Steve has everything-- looks,
51
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,840
personality, intelligence.
52
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,551
- And you believe him?
- Sure.
53
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,011
He told Steve the
same things about me.
54
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:37,800
Excuse me.
55
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:38,384
Julie McCoy?
56
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,428
Yes, how do you do?
57
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:41,892
I'm a friend of Sandy's.
58
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,311
You're Steve?
59
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,980
No, Leonard gluck.
60
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,270
Steve got sick, so
he couldn't make it.
61
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,353
Oh.
62
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,397
But I heard so many nice
things about you, Julie,
63
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,110
that I bought his ticket.
64
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,480
I had to go and hawk
to get the money.
65
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:58,106
But it looks like you are
worth it, even at 11% interest.
66
00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:58,986
[Chuckles]
67
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,992
How flattering.
68
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,534
I hope you're not
too disappointed.
69
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,868
No, no, of course not.
70
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:06,754
Leonard: Good.
71
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,159
Because I don't
get a lot of dates.
72
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:11,077
Now that's hard to believe.
73
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,337
Oh, I almost forgot.
74
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:12,708
I got something for you.
75
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:16,594
[Zipping]
76
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,683
Oh, thank you.
77
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,139
I found those in
the back of the cab.
78
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,180
Lucky for me.
79
00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:23,722
Careful, Julie, this
guy's a real charmer.
80
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,425
[Giggles]
81
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,135
That's right.
82
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,845
Well, I better go get settled.
83
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:29,475
[Giggles]
84
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,190
[Speaks poor French]
85
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:40,280
[Giggles] One word out of
you, and it'll be your last.
86
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:43,663
[Chatter]
87
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:52,129
May I help you, young lady?
88
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,788
Oh, uh, no thank you.
89
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,337
My big sister's taken
care of everything.
90
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:56,631
Oh, there she is now.
91
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,263
Bye.
92
00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,969
Bye.
93
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:00,879
Wow.
94
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:04,217
This cruise is going
to be outrageous.
95
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,473
- Excuse me.
- Oop.
96
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:06,255
What's your rush?
97
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,307
Come on.
98
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,060
I think you and I should
get to know each other.
99
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,767
Oh, wow, you and me together?
100
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,148
Wow, that would really
be neato mosquito.
101
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,985
Jerry: For sure.
102
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:25,070
Your face is cute, but, gee,
your outfit's prehistoric.
103
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,198
Oh, well, um, this is what
all the kids wear at school.
104
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:29,786
Mm, I can dig it.
105
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:30,331
What's your name?
106
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,543
Dor-- um, deedee.
107
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:35,753
All the kids at the video
arcade call me deedee.
108
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,545
Well, I'm Jerry.
109
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:38,458
Hi.
110
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,086
Like, maybe we
can party later?
111
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,763
What cabin are you in?
112
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,591
Well, that's for me to
know, for you to find out.
113
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,717
Bye.
114
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:49,603
Ah, to be 15.
115
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,312
You are, gopher, twice.
116
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:57,074
Ok, all checked in, son.
117
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,148
Great, dad.
118
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,782
While you were gone, I
met the cutest little fox.
119
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,990
- Already?
- Uh-huh.
120
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:02,780
Let's hope your old
man can get as lucky.
121
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,782
[Inaudible].
122
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:05,784
Right.
Bye-bye.
123
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,735
[Chatter]
124
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,374
Mr. and Mrs. Bakers.
125
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,331
We have cabin 132
on fiesta deck.
126
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:12,462
Welcome aboard.
127
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,208
I'm captain stubing, and
this is my daughter, Vicki.
128
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,460
How do you do?
129
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,171
I'm certain I've
seen your face before.
130
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,131
[Laughs] You see?
131
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,422
You're becoming more
famous than Johnny Carson.
132
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,006
My husband's done
a lot of talk shows
133
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,801
because he won the
book club prize
134
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,804
for the best novel of the year.
135
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,346
Oh, now I remember.
136
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,769
You're Daniel baker, the author
of that beautiful new book,
137
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:31,308
"many years from now."
138
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,980
Oh, you've read it?
139
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,939
Well, no, not yet,
but I've heard you
140
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,309
talk about it on television.
141
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:38,435
It's one of the best written
books I've ever heard about.
142
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,773
[Chuckling]
143
00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:40,817
You can take the elevator
to the fiesta deck.
144
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,570
Thank you.
145
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,282
Thank you.
146
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,491
Enjoy your cruise.
147
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,911
Excuse me, Mr. Baker.
148
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:47,819
Would you autograph my copy?
149
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,987
Yeah.
150
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:51,987
My celebrity.
151
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,908
I'm so proud of you.
152
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:54,826
Thank you.
153
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,084
You bet.
154
00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,747
Isn't that your secretary?
155
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,666
Oh, uh, Ellen, I didn't
tell you before because I knew
156
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,836
you'd get upset,
but I invited Wendy
157
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,676
to come on the cruise with us.
158
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,471
You're right.
159
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,644
I am upset.
160
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,771
I owed her something for
all the long unpaid hours
161
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,930
she's put in.
162
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,187
Come on, meet her with a smile.
163
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,439
You meet her with a smile.
164
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,651
I'm going down to our room and
make myself very seductive.
165
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:25,572
Then, I want to get down there
just as quickly as you can,
166
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:29,743
so you can repay me for
the lonely unpaid hours
167
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:29,874
that I've put in.
168
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,504
Wendy.
169
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,503
Oh, I couldn't get a cab.
170
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,544
I didn't think I was
going to make it.
171
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:41,956
Might have been
better if you didn't.
172
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,884
Ellen is very upset that
you're coming with us.
173
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,094
Oh, she is?
174
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:50,054
Well, just remember, Dan, I
can upset a lot more things
175
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,796
in your life than just Ellen.
176
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,518
Gopher: Well, Mr.
fenimore, maybe you're
177
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,731
just wrong about Doris
Holden being on board.
178
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,862
Could be.
179
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,229
Look, just in case she
did give us the slip here,
180
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,737
there's $500 in
it for you if you
181
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:10,239
will find her and let me know.
182
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,873
$500?
183
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:14,239
You got it.
184
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,367
[Chatter]
185
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:19,423
Sherlock Smith at
your service, sir.
186
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:31,716
[Horn blowing]
187
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:58,117
Doris Holden: Well, deedee,
you had a short life
188
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:58,544
but an important one.
189
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,132
[Knocking]
190
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,961
Jerry: Open up, little fox.
191
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,626
Your dude is here.
192
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,375
Jerry, oh know.
193
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,087
(In little girl voice)
Um, Jerry, could
194
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,597
you please go away?
195
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,980
Um, I'm not dressed.
196
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,058
Awesome.
197
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,442
(In little girl
voice) Um, Jerry,
198
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,189
I think I'm gonna
stay in the cabin,
199
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,822
because I've got a headache.
200
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,939
What a bummer.
201
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,356
Hey, maybe I can
call the doctor,
202
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:31,654
and he'll bring
you some aspirin.
203
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,607
(In little girl voice) Oh,
no, no, no, no, that's ok.
204
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,618
Um, you know, actually, i'm
feeling a whole lot better.
205
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,501
Um, you know how it
is when you're a kid.
206
00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:40,828
You heal fast.
207
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,253
Uh, how about I meet
you up on the deck?
208
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:44,962
Well, sure, but hurry.
209
00:09:50,840 --> 00:10:06,690
[Sighs]
210
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:07,442
Leonard: Boo!
211
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,323
[Yelps]
212
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,359
I got you there, didn't I?
213
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,493
Oh, you sure did.
214
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,899
Yeah, I'm full of surprises.
215
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:13,737
Oh.
216
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,411
Back in school,
I was voted second
217
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,990
runner-up for class clown.
218
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,825
How very impressive.
219
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:20,660
Thank you.
220
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,655
[Splashing]
221
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,537
Well, now that you know
a little bit about me,
222
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:27,003
why don't you tell me
something about you?
223
00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:27,714
Where are you from?
224
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,303
Well, I grew up in Oregon.
225
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,169
You're from Oregon?
226
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:33,375
Boy, what a coincidence.
227
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,126
Are you from Oregon?
228
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:38,466
No, Ohio.
229
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,514
We're both from states
that begin with an "o."
230
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:41,718
That's got to mean something.
231
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:42,477
[Chuckles]
232
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:43,678
It must.
233
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:46,848
Gee, Leonard, I'd love to
stay and chat with you,
234
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,147
but I've got a
lot of work to do.
235
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:52,650
Oh, well, if I could solve the
unemployment problem every time
236
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,565
I want to talk to
somebody, they'd suddenly
237
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:56,864
have a lot of work to do.
238
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:57,277
Well, I do.
239
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,235
I really do.
240
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,405
Well, I'll see ya.
241
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,163
I will.
242
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,839
[Splashing]
243
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,800
[Claps]
244
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:12,509
Hey, guys.
245
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,338
[Chuckles] Hey, over here.
246
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,072
[Sighs] Dan.
247
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,741
Dan come out here for a minute.
248
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:41,952
Well, well.
249
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,044
I told you I was going to
make myself very seductive.
250
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,371
This is it.
251
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,615
What do you think?
252
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:51,036
Well, do you mean seductive
"to persuade to disobedience"
253
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:55,377
or do you mean seductive
"to lead astray"?
254
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,344
I think more of the second--
255
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,135
in fact, a lot
more of the second.
256
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,730
[Phone ringing]
257
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,476
Yes?
258
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,688
Oh, hello, Wendy.
259
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:27,615
Uh, ok, I'll meet you on the
lido deck a little later.
260
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:28,705
All right, all right.
261
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,499
I'll be right up.
262
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,333
[Phone clicks]
263
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,497
I have to go.
264
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,625
Wendy's arranged a
telephone interview
265
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,962
with a publisher who's
interested in my new book.
266
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,007
Now?
267
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,340
Well, it's important.
268
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,425
Well, it better be important,
because it's interrupting what
269
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,721
I thought was very important.
270
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,845
Aren't we ever going
to be alone together?
271
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:47,732
I'll be back soon.
272
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:48,518
Mm.
273
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,702
[Chatter, laughter]
274
00:12:59,778 --> 00:12:59,898
[Splashing]
275
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,116
(In little girl voice)
Take it easy, Jerry.
276
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,409
You'll melt the ice cream.
277
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,202
Gopher.
278
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,544
Hm?
279
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,079
If the private eye could
not find Doris Holden,
280
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,374
what makes you think you can?
281
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,378
Because I'm like a bloodhound.
282
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,749
Once I'm on the scent,
nothing can stop me.
283
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:17,917
You know, rover,
I think you're
284
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,795
barking up the wrong tree.
285
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:20,842
Could be.
286
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,215
But if you help me, I'll
split the $500 with you.
287
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,892
$500?
288
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,932
[Chatter, splashing, laughter]
289
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,555
So this is the
reason I've barely seen
290
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,305
my son since we came aboard.
291
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:37,607
Deedee, this is
my dad, Phil Howard.
292
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,901
(In little girl voice) Hi.
293
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:40,945
Delighted to meet you, deedee.
294
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:43,908
Jerry's said a lot of
nice things about you.
295
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,539
And now I can see
they're all true.
296
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,198
I told him you
were really tubular.
297
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:50,657
(In little girl voice) Oh.
298
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,666
Oh, thank you.
299
00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:55,169
Are you on board with
your parents, deedee?
300
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,501
(In little girl voice) Yes.
301
00:13:56,585 --> 00:14:00,545
Um, I mean, no-- uh,
just my big sister.
302
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:03,221
Hey, I got this
really rad idea.
303
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,470
Why don't you and your sister
join us for dinner tonight?
304
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,764
(In little girl voice) Oh.
305
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:08,506
Uh.
306
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:09,307
Oh.
307
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,930
Um, we can't.
308
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,766
I'm sorry.
309
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,941
My big sister, she has that same
headache that I had, ya know?
310
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,941
So I just thought I would
take something in the cabin,
311
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:21,243
you know, because I hate
eating in restaurants alone.
312
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,608
Well, now you're
not going to be alone.
313
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,066
You'll join us, right?
314
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:27,576
(In little girl voice) Right.
315
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:37,171
Ah, this is the life.
316
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,671
I was born to be rich.
317
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,212
Right.
318
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,916
And I was born to be married.
319
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,216
[Splashing]
320
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,589
If I don't bet back to Ellen
pretty soon I won't be anymore.
321
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:47,297
Go ahead.
322
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:50,136
I'll meet you both for dinner.
323
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:54,562
Uh, listen, Wendy, uh, Ellen
won't want the three of us
324
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:56,353
to have dinner together.
325
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,517
Oh, she won't?
326
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,817
Then, I guess it'll
just be you and me.
327
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,070
But be sure and tell Ellen
she's welcome to join
328
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:04,653
us if she changes her mind.
329
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,027
Wendy, be sensible.
330
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:07,874
I'm sure there are a
lot of men on board
331
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,028
who'd love to take
you to dinner.
332
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,077
What if I asked Julie,
the cruise director,
333
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,661
to introduce you to someone?
334
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:18,537
Dan, the day I met you
I lost all desire to be
335
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:22,086
introduced to anyone else.
336
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:26,341
Anyway, if you didn't want
to spend your time with me,
337
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,755
why did you invite me on this
cruise in the first place?
338
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,934
You know very well why.
339
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,103
Oh, yes.
340
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,931
And we don't want
Ellen to know, do we?
341
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:47,857
By the way, I saw this lovely
watch in the gift shop.
342
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:50,366
I told the sales lady you'd
be in to buy it for me.
343
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:54,869
[Sighs] I'll
see you at dinner.
344
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,792
You can sign up for
this tomorrow morning.
345
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,706
Hi, Vicki.
346
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,707
Vicki: Oh, Julie, I have
some messages for you.
347
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,218
Oh, I didn't know
I was so popular.
348
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,220
Who are they from?
349
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:12,351
Well, this is from
a guy named Leonard.
350
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:15,059
And this is from Leonard too.
351
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,980
And so is this one.
352
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,939
In fact, they're
all from Leonard.
353
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:19,399
Who is this guy?
354
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:20,978
Leonard: Julie!
355
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,066
See for yourself.
356
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:29,491
Boy, I haven't heard
from you all day.
357
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:30,951
Yeah, well, that's
because I really haven't
358
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,831
had time to take a break.
359
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:34,738
Hey, listen, I figured
that since we were kind
360
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,997
of fixed up maybe you'd
like to have dinner with me
361
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,159
in my cabin--
362
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,877
little candlelight, some
music, maybe a couple of brews.
363
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:42,669
Well, gee, thanks, Leonard.
364
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,881
That's awfully sweet of you.
365
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,092
But I generally dine with
the captain at his table.
366
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:51,932
Oh, and I'm not good enough
for the captain's table?
367
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:52,930
No, no, I didn't mean--
368
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:54,181
I don't want you
to feel obligated,
369
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:59,183
but I did take a bus
348 miles to meet you.
370
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,978
Leonard, you
didn't let me finish.
371
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,561
I wanted to invite you to
join me at the captain's
372
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,937
table as my guest.
373
00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:06,984
Ah, that sounds like fun.
374
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,737
Boy, I can't wait to
tell the captain all
375
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,609
about my sea shell collection.
376
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,460
[Rattling]
377
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:29,545
[Chatter]
378
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:37,932
Well, this is certainly
better than eating alone, huh?
379
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:41,015
I hope your sister feels
better in the morning.
380
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:44,731
Excuse me, sorry to
interrupt, but haven't I
381
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:46,193
seen you somewhere before?
382
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,903
(In little girl voice)
Um, I don't think so.
383
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,034
Well, I never forget a face.
384
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,741
(In little girl
voice) Uh, well, I
385
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:53,821
go to humboldt girl school.
386
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,696
Did you go to our junior prom?
387
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,832
No, my tux was
at the cleaners.
388
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,329
[Chuckling]
389
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,290
But really, you--you
look familiar to me.
390
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,250
Hey, look, like
it's highly unlikely,
391
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,041
so why don't you just take
my advice and pack it, huh?
392
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:07,174
Phil: Jerry, there's
no need to be rude.
393
00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:12,298
I think you have deedee
mixed up with someone else.
394
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,632
Ok.
395
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:14,507
In that case, I'll just pack it.
396
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,303
Later, dude.
397
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,352
There you go.
398
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,145
Thank you.
399
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,649
I still can't get used to
signing my name for people.
400
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:28,771
It embarrasses me.
401
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:29,357
It doesn't embarrass me.
402
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,531
I love it.
403
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,860
For years, I've been
listening to my sister
404
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,485
Gloria brag about her husband.
405
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:38,201
Now even she will know that
my husband is more successful
406
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:39,033
than her husband will ever be.
407
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:42,407
If that sounds
infantile, then i'm
408
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:45,326
just the proudest, happiest
wife in her playpen.
409
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:47,415
[Giggles]
410
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:47,961
- Good evening.
- Oh.
411
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:48,423
Oh, hello, Wendy.
412
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,382
Hi.
413
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,922
Yeah, I guess with
one thing and another,
414
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:55,875
I forgot to tell you I
asked Wendy to join us.
415
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,348
Yes, I guess you did.
416
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,733
Well, I'm so pleased that
you could join us, Wendy.
417
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,889
Thank you, Ellen.
418
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,937
Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
419
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,111
And I certainly don't
have a good excuse.
420
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:12,030
I just got this
lovely new watch.
421
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,529
Oh, that's beautiful.
422
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,201
Wendy: Thank you.
423
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,200
Dan gave it to me for all those
nights we worked overtime.
424
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,462
Vicki told me you invited
a date to dinner tonight.
425
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:32,423
Julie, you sly fox,
you-- you never told us
426
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:33,304
you had a new man in your life.
427
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,630
Some things are
better kept secret.
428
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,643
[Spritzing]
429
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,280
Well, this must be the place.
430
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,239
Hi, everybody.
- Hi.
431
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:55,989
Evening.
432
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:56,779
Hi.
433
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,778
Well, Leonard, that is
some Cologne you are wearing.
434
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,697
Oh, you noticed.
435
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,616
Well, at $2.99 a
quart, it better be.
436
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,245
[Chuckles]
437
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,423
How much did he pay for that?
438
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,460
I've never had a smell
close up my ears before.
439
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,545
So, what kind of
grub we got tonight?
440
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,382
It's our chef's
special Caesar salad.
441
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:19,757
Mm, looks great.
442
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,093
Mhm.
443
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:24,808
Boy, I remember the last
time I had Caesar salad.
444
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,310
There I was ready to
take a big old bite,
445
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:31,232
and what comes crawling out
of the lettuce but the ugliest
446
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,363
looking bug I have ever seen.
447
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:40,317
Just goes to show you, you
never know what you're getting.
448
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:54,460
[Music playing]
449
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:08,888
[Applause]
450
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,596
I didn't know you'd mind.
451
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,107
I thought you liked Wendy.
452
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:16,978
I do like Wendy in
her place, which I think
453
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,397
is about 300 nautical
miles from here.
454
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,857
I know how you've been
looking forward to this cruise.
455
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,658
What I can't
understand is why you
456
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,791
thought it was necessary to
invite her along with us.
457
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:29,578
Oh, I know, I know--
458
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,793
to repay her for all of
those nights she worked.
459
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:33,423
Well, she did.
460
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,750
Well, you also gave
her an expensive watch
461
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:38,706
for those same nights.
462
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,127
What did she do all
of those nights?
463
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,716
What are you implying,
that I've been unfaithful?
464
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,392
I'm not implying anything.
465
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,931
But you did give her
a watch and a cruise.
466
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:56,732
Hey, what's the matter
with you two letting all
467
00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:57,895
that great music go to waste?
468
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,613
Come on, Dan, dance with me.
469
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,864
Uh--
470
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:04,235
that is, of course, if,
uh, Ellen doesn't mind.
471
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:04,612
Oh, I don't mind.
472
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:06,698
Oh.
473
00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:07,663
As a matter of fact, i'm
going back to the cabin
474
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,413
to go to sleep.
475
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:09,834
But it's still early.
476
00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:11,961
Oh, it is?
477
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:15,579
Well, of course, you and Wendy
would know more about what time
478
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,167
it is than I do.
479
00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:19,461
[Music playing, chatter]
480
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,064
You know, like this music
is, like, totally lame.
481
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:37,114
You can't even pogo to it.
482
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,439
Deedee?
483
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:39,363
Deedee?
484
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,651
(In little girl
voice) Oh, huh, what?
485
00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:42,404
Do you think the
music is totally lame?
486
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:47,316
(In little girl voice) Oh,
no, I think it's very romantic.
487
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:51,787
I mean, um, I think
it's tubular, totally.
488
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:54,290
Well, I think it's a
shame for such a pretty girl
489
00:22:54,372 --> 00:22:57,132
to just sit here when there's
tubular music playing.
490
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,799
Someone should be a gentleman
and ask deedee to dance.
491
00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,918
(In little girl voice)
Well, I'd love to, Mr. Howard.
492
00:23:02,005 --> 00:23:03,165
Thank you.
493
00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:06,636
That is, of course, if
you don't mind, Jerry.
494
00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:07,218
Oh, no, no.
Go ahead.
495
00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:08,762
Knock yourself out.
496
00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:20,234
Wow, you're a big
girl for your age.
497
00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:22,275
(In little girl voice)
Oh, um, wheat germ.
498
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,489
Does wonders for
building bodies.
499
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:29,320
[Chuckles]
500
00:23:29,407 --> 00:23:32,827
(In little girl
voice) Um, Mr. Howard,
501
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,371
is there a Mrs. Howard
anywhere around?
502
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:36,665
No, no.
503
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:38,078
My marriage was shot down in
the divorce courts years ago.
504
00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:39,626
Aw, well, that's too bad.
505
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:45,469
[Fake giggles]
506
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:45,839
Boy, that was fun.
507
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:47,434
[Applause]
508
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:48,339
Let's do it again.
509
00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:49,086
Oh no, Leonard.
510
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,297
You said just one.
511
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:52,557
Besides, if I kept
you all to myself,
512
00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:54,059
it wouldn't be fair
to the other ladies.
513
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:55,771
Who said life was fair?
514
00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:57,521
[Fake giggles]
515
00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:58,692
Look, why don't
we get a drink?
516
00:23:58,770 --> 00:23:59,770
Oh, that sounds nice.
517
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:00,855
I think I could use one right.
518
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:02,229
Great.
519
00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:05,025
While you're up, you want
to get me a rum and coke?
520
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,820
You get them for
free, don't you?
521
00:24:06,903 --> 00:24:14,203
[Fake giggles]
522
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:18,166
(In little girl voice)
Oh, oh, um, I got to go.
523
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:20,628
It's really way past my bedtime.
524
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,709
Thank you very much.
525
00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:23,383
Um, will you say goodnight
to Jerry for me, please?
526
00:24:23,461 --> 00:24:24,171
Bye.
527
00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:35,099
You are coming in for
a nightcap, aren't you?
528
00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:39,022
Oh, I don't think so.
529
00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:42,732
Dan, I wasn't asking you.
530
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:44,484
I was telling you.
531
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:45,896
[Clinking]
532
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:48,284
You don't think i'm
bluffing, do you?
533
00:24:48,361 --> 00:24:51,571
Wendy, I don't know if
you're bluffing or not.
534
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:54,406
Otherwise, I wouldn't be
taking you on cruises,
535
00:24:54,492 --> 00:24:57,582
buying you watches,
and dancing with you
536
00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:02,962
while my wife, whom I love very
much, is in our cabin alone.
537
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:05,093
Please come in
for just one drink.
538
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:09,220
No, Wendy, this can't go on.
539
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:13,429
Dan, this is not
only going to go on,
540
00:25:13,511 --> 00:25:15,641
it's only just getting started.
541
00:25:15,722 --> 00:25:18,432
[Giggles] And if
you don't like it,
542
00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:21,476
darling Dan, you should have
thought of all that before you
543
00:25:21,561 --> 00:25:25,571
lifted four entire
chapters almost word
544
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:27,609
for word from some
forgotten book
545
00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:33,702
and plagiarized them for
your own prize-winning novel.
546
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:34,742
[Sighs]
547
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:38,584
Now, would you like to
come in for a nightcap?
548
00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:45,750
[Door closes]
549
00:26:09,943 --> 00:26:13,573
I was looking for the most
deserted part of the ship,
550
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:17,735
but it looks like
you beat me to it.
551
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:19,826
You look like a young
lady I just met.
552
00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:20,751
Oh.
553
00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:24,039
[Giggles] I don't know.
554
00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:28,004
I know-- you're
deedee's sister.
555
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:29,916
That's right.
I am.
556
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,005
I'm deedee's sister.
557
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:33,050
- Phil Howard.
- Hi.
558
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:33,593
Doris.
559
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:34,505
Nice to meet you.
560
00:26:34,592 --> 00:26:36,302
I feel as though
we're old friends.
561
00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:39,966
[Laughs] Yeah, so do I. I--
562
00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:42,976
I guess it's us both
knowing deedee and all.
563
00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:45,349
You don't mind if I hold
onto this just for luck.
564
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:55,857
Well, [giggles]
Uh, i--i gotta go.
565
00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:57,157
Doris, I'm sorry.
566
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,120
I didn't mean any--
567
00:26:58,199 --> 00:26:59,699
was that her?
568
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:00,454
I think so.
569
00:27:00,535 --> 00:27:03,285
Too bad we couldn't get closer.
570
00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:04,791
Looks like we missed
our big chance.
571
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,090
Looks like he did too.
572
00:27:18,928 --> 00:27:20,008
Oh no.
573
00:27:20,096 --> 00:27:22,346
Oh, looks like our
Casanova's waiting
574
00:27:22,432 --> 00:27:23,642
for some moonlight romance.
575
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,555
Doc, he's driving me crazy.
576
00:27:25,643 --> 00:27:26,983
I don't know what to do.
577
00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:28,362
Well, take it from a doctor--
578
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:31,148
when you have a
pain, get rid of it.
579
00:27:31,232 --> 00:27:32,902
You're right.
580
00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:35,784
It's time I lowered the boom.
581
00:27:35,862 --> 00:27:36,862
I just hope he doesn't
take it too hard.
582
00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:45,371
Leonard?
583
00:27:45,455 --> 00:27:45,825
Oh, hi.
584
00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,924
Hi.
585
00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:48,209
Beautiful night, isn't it?
586
00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:49,881
Mm.
587
00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,459
All you can hear is
they sea and the wind,
588
00:27:52,545 --> 00:27:54,955
the sound of an
occasional seagull.
589
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:58,128
[Caws]
590
00:27:58,218 --> 00:27:59,088
Leonard, we have to talk.
591
00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:02,847
About what?
592
00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:04,771
About us.
593
00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:06,519
Actually, Julie, i'm
glad you brought that up.
594
00:28:06,601 --> 00:28:08,351
Because there is something
that I want to say to you.
595
00:28:08,436 --> 00:28:09,396
Oh?
596
00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:11,649
Sometimes when people
meet on a blind date,
597
00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:16,651
it's like magic, love at first
sight, two totally different
598
00:28:16,736 --> 00:28:19,946
personalities making a
perfect combination, kind of
599
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:23,031
like knockwurst and Sauerkraut.
600
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,288
Leonard--
601
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:27,119
unfortunately, this
isn't one of those times.
602
00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:28,115
I think you're a really
nice girl, Julie.
603
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:30,876
But to tell you the
absolute honest truth,
604
00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:32,339
you just don't do it for me.
605
00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:34,339
Leonard-- what?
606
00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:36,461
It's nothing personal.
607
00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:40,258
I just don't find
you attractive.
608
00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:41,643
Let me get this straight.
609
00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:43,509
Are you dropping me?
610
00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:45,466
With a thud.
611
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,307
Don't take it too hard.
612
00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:49,562
You're a young girl sort of.
613
00:28:49,644 --> 00:28:52,524
I'm sure you'll
find somebody else.
614
00:28:52,605 --> 00:28:55,435
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.
615
00:28:55,525 --> 00:28:58,485
You're not going
to cry, are you?
616
00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:00,160
Boy, I hate it when
you drop a chick,
617
00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:02,528
and she goes around
blubbering all over the place.
618
00:29:02,615 --> 00:29:05,285
Believe me, Leonard,
I'm not going to blubber.
619
00:29:05,368 --> 00:29:06,998
That's it.
620
00:29:07,078 --> 00:29:08,748
Be strong.
621
00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:10,960
You'll forget about me in time.
622
00:29:19,048 --> 00:29:19,758
Ugh.
623
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,688
Aren't you coming
to breakfast?
624
00:29:35,773 --> 00:29:36,113
No, I don't think so.
625
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:38,691
Why not?
626
00:29:38,776 --> 00:29:39,646
You're the writer.
627
00:29:39,736 --> 00:29:40,606
You can supply the dialogue.
628
00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:42,735
Aren't you coming to breakfast?
629
00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:44,122
No, I don't think so.
630
00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:45,659
Why not?
631
00:29:45,742 --> 00:29:48,242
Because I spent the entire
night waiting for you
632
00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:50,868
while you danced
with your secretary.
633
00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,825
That's not true.
634
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:54,536
I had an idea for a new book.
635
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:55,456
And we went down
to Wendy's cabin,
636
00:29:55,543 --> 00:29:58,303
so she could take some notes.
637
00:29:58,379 --> 00:30:01,589
Well, I'm sure that any notes
that Wendy took last night
638
00:30:01,674 --> 00:30:04,764
will never end up in
a children's book.
639
00:30:04,844 --> 00:30:06,684
Well, no matter
how it looks, I've
640
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:10,563
never been unfaithful to you
with Wendy or any other woman.
641
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:11,562
Now, come on.
642
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:15,193
Get dressed, and let's
go have some breakfast.
643
00:30:15,271 --> 00:30:20,691
Well, no.
644
00:30:20,777 --> 00:30:21,857
As soon as we started
on our ham and eggs,
645
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,855
Wendy would probably come
up and ask you to dance.
646
00:30:33,289 --> 00:30:34,999
[Door slams]
647
00:30:45,134 --> 00:30:47,224
Well, Julie, how'd
it go last night
648
00:30:47,303 --> 00:30:49,683
with public nuisance number one?
649
00:30:49,764 --> 00:30:52,144
Well, I don't think we'll
be seeing each other anymore.
650
00:30:52,225 --> 00:30:54,265
Well, gee, I hope he
didn't take it too hard.
651
00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:55,562
Hi, doc.
652
00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:57,185
Hi, Vicki.
653
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:58,522
Julie.
654
00:30:58,606 --> 00:31:02,526
Hey, Vicki, what's green
and black, and has 12 legs?
655
00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:03,320
I don't know.
656
00:31:03,403 --> 00:31:04,703
What?
657
00:31:04,779 --> 00:31:05,239
I don't know either, but
it's crawling up your arm.
658
00:31:05,321 --> 00:31:07,031
[Gasps]
659
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:08,945
[Chuckles]
[Inaudible] [Laughs]
660
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:15,833
[Fake laughs] Well, at
least he's not depressed.
661
00:31:15,915 --> 00:31:15,995
Wish I could say the same.
662
00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:24,722
Listen, dad, man to man,
how can you tell, like,
663
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:27,389
when you're really in love?
664
00:31:27,468 --> 00:31:29,388
Well, that's a tough one, son.
665
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:32,470
I've learned to follow my
stomach as well as my heart.
666
00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:33,217
Your stomach?
667
00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,518
Yeah.
668
00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:36,601
When some people fall in
love, they eat like crazy.
669
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,146
In my case, I can't eat a thing.
670
00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:42,530
Well, I must be one
of the crazy ones.
671
00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:43,939
And if you're not
eating anything--
672
00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:44,817
[clinking]
673
00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:50,241
See that guy over
there in the red shirt?
674
00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:52,365
Yeah.
675
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:55,712
That's the guy who was
with Doris Holden last night.
676
00:31:55,788 --> 00:31:56,498
Hey, gopher.
677
00:31:56,581 --> 00:31:57,621
Hm?
678
00:31:57,707 --> 00:31:58,957
I bet if we stick
close to this guy,
679
00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:00,002
he'll lead us right to her.
680
00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:04,344
Yeah, not to mention
the 500 smacker reward.
681
00:32:04,422 --> 00:32:05,382
You're right.
682
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:13,683
[Chatter, clinking]
683
00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:15,887
Hi.
684
00:32:15,975 --> 00:32:16,925
Where have you been?
685
00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:18,138
You were supposed to
meet me 15 minutes ago.
686
00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:25,815
[Sighs] Wendy, I've
decided I'm not going to let
687
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:26,992
you blackmail me anymore.
688
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:30,110
It's ruining my marriage,
which is the most
689
00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:32,488
important thing in my life.
690
00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:35,615
When you made your speech
accepting your literary prize,
691
00:32:35,703 --> 00:32:39,423
you said that was the most
important thing in your life.
692
00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,709
I wish I'd never
written that novel.
693
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:45,843
As we both know,
Dan, you didn't--
694
00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:47,762
at least, not all of it.
695
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,050
All right, Wendy,
how much money
696
00:32:49,133 --> 00:32:54,103
do you want to stop blackmailing
me once and for all?
697
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:56,850
Now I see why you had to
steal someone else's book.
698
00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:58,063
What do you mean?
699
00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:00,772
I mean you're not as bright
as I gave you credit for.
700
00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:01,603
I don't want money.
701
00:33:03,940 --> 00:33:07,280
I want to be married
to a prize winner.
702
00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:20,155
Vicki (on speaker):
Good morning,
703
00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:24,168
and welcome to Puerta vallarta,
Mexico's answer to paradise.
704
00:33:24,252 --> 00:33:27,092
We'll be in port all
afternoon, so you'll
705
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:28,301
have plenty of time
to take advantage
706
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:32,011
of all this charming town
has to offer. Enjoy your day!
707
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:43,185
[Seagulls cawing]
708
00:33:46,232 --> 00:33:48,992
Still feel bad about
dumping Leonard, huh?
709
00:33:49,068 --> 00:33:52,028
I'd really rather
not talk about it, doc.
710
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:53,913
Well, he must be used to it.
711
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:57,790
Guys like him get rejected
12 times before lunch.
712
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,039
Can I ask you something?
713
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,370
Sure.
714
00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:01,455
Am I attractive?
715
00:34:01,539 --> 00:34:03,829
On a scale of one to 10,
you're a definite three.
716
00:34:03,916 --> 00:34:07,416
Of course you're
attractive. Why?
717
00:34:07,503 --> 00:34:09,173
Well, what about
my personality?
718
00:34:09,255 --> 00:34:10,625
Is there something missing?
719
00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:11,875
Julie, what's this all about?
720
00:34:11,966 --> 00:34:13,296
Are you all right?
721
00:34:13,384 --> 00:34:15,974
I used to think
I was all right.
722
00:34:16,053 --> 00:34:17,313
I can't believe it.
723
00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:20,478
Last night I was all set
to let Leonard down easy.
724
00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:22,558
But before I could,
he rejected me.
725
00:34:22,643 --> 00:34:23,483
You're kidding.
726
00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:24,561
Julie: No.
727
00:34:24,645 --> 00:34:27,065
Amazing.
728
00:34:27,148 --> 00:34:28,478
What's the matter with me?
729
00:34:28,566 --> 00:34:29,896
Nothing's the matter with you.
730
00:34:29,984 --> 00:34:31,944
That's not what
Leonard thinks.
731
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,858
Julie, you wanted
to get rid of him.
732
00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:36,566
So now that you have,
consider it a blessing.
733
00:34:36,657 --> 00:34:38,487
You're right.
734
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:41,326
Who cares why he
isn't attracted to me?
735
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:42,082
I care.
736
00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,513
Dad?
737
00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:55,262
What are you doing here?
738
00:34:55,343 --> 00:34:57,933
I came to apologize to Doris.
739
00:34:58,012 --> 00:35:00,522
I may have come on
too strong last night.
740
00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:01,638
Well, you were lucky.
741
00:35:01,724 --> 00:35:03,354
I didn't even get a shot.
742
00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:05,394
That deedee, she turns
me on to the Max.
743
00:35:05,478 --> 00:35:08,018
[Knocking]
744
00:35:08,105 --> 00:35:09,225
Who is it?
745
00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:10,475
Phil: Doris, it's Phil.
746
00:35:10,566 --> 00:35:11,776
Oh, Phil, how nice.
747
00:35:14,862 --> 00:35:16,032
I'm also here to see deedee.
748
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,784
[Door slams]
749
00:35:17,865 --> 00:35:20,485
Oh, Phil, I'm sorry.
750
00:35:20,576 --> 00:35:21,406
I'm getting dressed.
751
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:23,704
Could I meet you up
on the deck later?
752
00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:24,708
Yeah.
753
00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,419
Wonderful.
754
00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:28,129
Well, when can I get
to see you, deedee?
755
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:31,709
(In little girl
voice) Um, Jerry?
756
00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:34,126
Uh, you know, i'm
not feeling so good.
757
00:35:34,215 --> 00:35:35,295
I think I'm sick again.
758
00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:38,053
Look, I'll just stay out
here till you get better?
759
00:35:38,135 --> 00:35:39,385
(In little girl voice) Aw, no.
760
00:35:39,470 --> 00:35:41,260
Um, I'm sure I'll
be better soon.
761
00:35:41,347 --> 00:35:44,347
Can I meet you up on
the deck later too?
762
00:35:44,433 --> 00:35:45,273
Ok, ladies.
763
00:35:45,351 --> 00:35:45,391
We'll be waiting.
764
00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:50,515
[Whistling]
765
00:35:50,606 --> 00:35:53,066
[Inaudible]
766
00:35:53,150 --> 00:35:56,900
Hi, gentlemen.
767
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:58,408
Now we know which
cabin she's in.
768
00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:00,699
Now you know which
cabin who's in?
769
00:36:00,783 --> 00:36:01,913
[Inaudible]
770
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,203
Sir, there is a lady
on board this ship
771
00:36:03,286 --> 00:36:07,996
who was supposed to
testify in a divorce case.
772
00:36:08,082 --> 00:36:09,632
And a private
detective offered
773
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,499
us $500 dollars to find her.
774
00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:14,297
Well, I'll be offering
you your walking
775
00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:17,430
papers if you're not back on
duty in exactly one minute
776
00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:19,138
flat.
777
00:36:19,218 --> 00:36:20,178
Just left, sir.
778
00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:22,431
I don't suppose
you'd be interested--
779
00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:23,183
no.
780
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:32,572
[Seagulls cawing]
781
00:36:35,192 --> 00:36:37,612
Hi, Leonard, would you like
to go for a walk on deck?
782
00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:40,945
Listen, lady, back off.
783
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:43,952
I tried to be nice to you last
night and let you down easy,
784
00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:46,695
so quit bugging me, ok?
785
00:36:46,787 --> 00:36:47,247
Please.
786
00:36:47,330 --> 00:36:49,960
Don't beg, Julie.
787
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:50,791
You're better than that.
788
00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:53,285
I wasn't begging.
789
00:36:53,377 --> 00:36:54,797
There are plenty of
other guys on this ship.
790
00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:57,209
You could find somebody else.
791
00:36:57,298 --> 00:37:01,468
But please, for both of
our sakes, quit chasing me.
792
00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,557
[Clapping]
793
00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:09,853
That was very good, Leonard.
794
00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:13,556
Now if anyone else would like
to audition for the ship's play,
795
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:14,478
you can sign up in the lobby.
796
00:37:14,565 --> 00:37:17,815
[Applause]
797
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:21,782
[Rustling]
798
00:37:21,864 --> 00:37:26,454
Ellen, uh-- why
are you doing this?
799
00:37:29,455 --> 00:37:30,405
Aren't you even
going to answer me?
800
00:37:30,498 --> 00:37:33,628
I'm getting off this
ship and flying home.
801
00:37:33,709 --> 00:37:36,299
Listen, Ellen, I know
you won't believe me,
802
00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:40,839
but I really have been working
on a new idea with Wendy.
803
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:43,085
[Scoffs]
804
00:37:43,177 --> 00:37:45,097
You know I never
discuss my work
805
00:37:45,179 --> 00:37:49,559
with you until I'm finished,
but I'll tell you my idea.
806
00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:50,392
Sit down a second.
807
00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:55,481
What is it?
808
00:37:55,564 --> 00:37:57,484
Well, this new
plot I've got is
809
00:37:57,566 --> 00:38:01,316
about a prize-winning novelist.
810
00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:04,414
And without his wife
knowing about it,
811
00:38:04,490 --> 00:38:07,410
the novelist stole
three or four chapters
812
00:38:07,493 --> 00:38:12,423
from another novel that was
published a long time ago.
813
00:38:12,498 --> 00:38:16,668
And now, the novelist's
secretary is blackmailing him.
814
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:19,512
And he-- and he
can't tell his wife
815
00:38:19,588 --> 00:38:23,128
because it's so humiliating
and because he'd die if he
816
00:38:23,217 --> 00:38:27,097
didn't have his wife's respect.
817
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:27,299
Well, what do you think?
818
00:38:31,183 --> 00:38:32,103
It's a bit melodramatic.
819
00:38:32,184 --> 00:38:35,604
Why don't you work
on the ending?
820
00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:36,398
Ellen.
821
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,994
[Rustling]
822
00:38:50,911 --> 00:38:53,331
[Knocking]
823
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:54,174
Open sesame.
824
00:38:58,502 --> 00:38:58,542
[Door closes]
825
00:39:00,504 --> 00:39:05,304
I'm sorry to bother you,
Leonard, but I have to.
826
00:39:05,384 --> 00:39:07,014
I have to find out
what it is about me
827
00:39:07,094 --> 00:39:08,764
that you dislike so much.
828
00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:12,926
Uh, Julie, don't
get yourself crazy.
829
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,937
Let's just say
you're not my type.
830
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:16,979
Let it go at that.
831
00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:19,613
Well, what exactly
is your type?
832
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:22,280
I happen to be an
attractive, intelligent woman.
833
00:39:22,359 --> 00:39:23,029
And there are a lot
of men out there
834
00:39:23,110 --> 00:39:25,780
who find me very desirable.
835
00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:26,203
Oh, really?
836
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,530
[Chuckles]
837
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:28,775
Yes, really.
838
00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:31,446
And besides that, a lot of them
think I'm pretty damn sexy.
839
00:39:35,081 --> 00:39:36,001
Sexy?
840
00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,632
Yeah.
841
00:39:38,709 --> 00:39:39,959
You said it, baby.
842
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:41,054
And I'm one of them.
843
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:42,798
What are you doing?
844
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:43,960
I think it's pretty obvious.
845
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:44,968
What's gotten into you?
846
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,589
Passion, my little mermaid.
847
00:39:47,676 --> 00:39:48,296
Leonard.
848
00:39:48,385 --> 00:39:50,215
Don't fight it, Julie.
849
00:39:50,304 --> 00:39:50,974
It's in the stars.
850
00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:53,055
You want to see stars?
851
00:39:53,140 --> 00:39:55,350
Take one more step.
852
00:39:55,434 --> 00:39:59,614
Julie, please
stay, and I promise
853
00:39:59,688 --> 00:40:00,818
this is a night you'll remember
for the rest of your life.
854
00:40:00,898 --> 00:40:02,478
I know.
855
00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:02,606
That's why I'm leaving.
856
00:40:06,445 --> 00:40:06,485
[Door slams]
857
00:40:23,504 --> 00:40:25,674
Well, Doris
Holden, alias deedee.
858
00:40:25,756 --> 00:40:26,586
Ah, haha.
859
00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:29,514
Well, I guess I
can't stay 15 forever.
860
00:40:29,593 --> 00:40:31,303
I'm afraid not.
861
00:40:31,387 --> 00:40:33,057
Listen, before you
call that detective,
862
00:40:33,139 --> 00:40:35,139
would you please let me
tell my side of the story?
863
00:40:35,224 --> 00:40:37,524
- Huh.
- Sounds fair to me.
864
00:40:37,601 --> 00:40:38,231
Ok.
865
00:40:38,310 --> 00:40:39,900
Ok.
866
00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:43,399
Uh, I've been senator
kadden's assistant
867
00:40:43,482 --> 00:40:44,532
for the past five years.
868
00:40:44,608 --> 00:40:48,068
I've become very close
with both him and his wife.
869
00:40:48,154 --> 00:40:49,324
And they've told me
things in confidence
870
00:40:49,405 --> 00:40:51,195
I would never reveal in court.
871
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,782
It would hurt them too much.
872
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,368
If you were me,
what would you do?
873
00:40:55,452 --> 00:40:57,542
Well, if it isn't
the Hardy boys.
874
00:40:57,621 --> 00:41:00,371
Is this the young lady
you've been looking for?
875
00:41:06,088 --> 00:41:07,048
No, sir.
876
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:10,891
On your wise advice, we
gave up that assignment.
877
00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:13,048
Yeah, sir, the
lady in question
878
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:14,887
is not aboard this ship.
879
00:41:14,972 --> 00:41:15,762
Well, I'm delighted.
880
00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:16,888
Now I'll have the
pleasure of having
881
00:41:16,974 --> 00:41:21,904
my purser and chief barman
back with me full time.
882
00:41:21,979 --> 00:41:23,229
Oh, yes, in answer
to your question,
883
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:25,074
the acapulco lounge is
just around that way.
884
00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:27,189
Thank you very much.
885
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:27,476
A right and then a left.
886
00:41:32,990 --> 00:41:33,660
Well.
887
00:41:41,665 --> 00:41:44,375
Julie (on speaker): We
hope you enjoyed your day
888
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:45,670
in beautiful Puerta vallarta.
889
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:48,923
We expect clear skies and smooth
sailing on our return trip
890
00:41:49,006 --> 00:41:50,256
to Los Angeles.
891
00:41:59,850 --> 00:42:01,390
Hi.
892
00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:03,937
I've been on every
deck on the ship twice.
893
00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:05,151
I didn't think you were coming.
894
00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:07,611
Oh, um, I got sidetracked.
895
00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:08,321
It's a long story.
896
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,610
And I don't want to hear it.
897
00:42:10,694 --> 00:42:12,074
You're here now, and that tells
me everything I want to know.
898
00:42:12,154 --> 00:42:14,874
Well, not everything.
899
00:42:21,288 --> 00:42:22,788
You know, this
is really grodie.
900
00:42:22,873 --> 00:42:24,083
I've been on every
deck on the ship,
901
00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:26,206
and I can't find
deedee anywhere.
902
00:42:26,293 --> 00:42:27,923
Well, when you see
her, tell her her sister
903
00:42:28,003 --> 00:42:30,513
and I are going to be
very close from now on.
904
00:42:30,589 --> 00:42:33,379
Very, very close.
905
00:42:33,467 --> 00:42:35,637
Hey, outrageous.
906
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,429
Hey, I wonder what
deedee will say when
907
00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:39,223
she finds out about you two.
908
00:42:39,306 --> 00:42:44,556
[Sighs] I know
exactly what she'll say.
909
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:46,145
(In little girl voice)
Oh, wow, you and me?
910
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:47,610
That's like neato mosquito.
911
00:42:53,279 --> 00:42:54,489
Come on.
912
00:42:54,571 --> 00:42:57,031
The two of me will explain
it to the two of you.
913
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:08,498
Oh, Julie.
914
00:43:08,585 --> 00:43:09,295
[Door closes]
915
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:11,588
Julie, wait.
916
00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:13,802
I'd like a chance to explain.
917
00:43:13,882 --> 00:43:15,182
What's to explain, Leonard?
918
00:43:15,259 --> 00:43:18,349
You're schizophrenic.
919
00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:21,269
I don't blame you for being
upset, but please hear me out.
920
00:43:21,348 --> 00:43:23,098
All right, I'm listening.
921
00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:26,523
You see, all my life, I've
had this trouble with girls.
922
00:43:26,603 --> 00:43:28,273
What kind of trouble?
923
00:43:28,355 --> 00:43:30,265
They can't stand me.
924
00:43:30,357 --> 00:43:31,897
High school, I had
to pay a girl $50
925
00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:33,824
just to go to my
senior prom with me.
926
00:43:33,902 --> 00:43:36,202
Our second date,
she charged me $75.
927
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:36,990
Leonard.
928
00:43:37,072 --> 00:43:38,282
It's all right.
929
00:43:38,365 --> 00:43:39,195
I'm used to it.
930
00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:42,333
Let's face it-- Robert
redford I ain't.
931
00:43:42,411 --> 00:43:44,461
But that's why I
acted the way I did.
932
00:43:44,538 --> 00:43:45,578
I don't understand.
933
00:43:45,664 --> 00:43:48,464
See, a while back,
I started noticing
934
00:43:48,542 --> 00:43:50,712
that women were more attracted
to men that they couldn't have.
935
00:43:50,794 --> 00:43:53,134
So when it seemed that
you didn't go for me,
936
00:43:53,213 --> 00:43:54,593
I figured the only way
to get you interested
937
00:43:54,673 --> 00:43:56,223
was to reject you.
938
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,550
That way, I became
kind of a challenge.
939
00:43:58,635 --> 00:44:00,255
That's crazy.
940
00:44:00,346 --> 00:44:03,096
Got you to come down
to my cabin, didn't it?
941
00:44:03,182 --> 00:44:05,562
Then, my animal
instincts took over.
942
00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:06,983
Boy, I'm really sorry, Julie.
943
00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,101
You think you could
ever forgive me?
944
00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:10,228
I guess so.
945
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:12,234
I just couldn't help myself.
946
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:13,566
You looked so beautiful.
947
00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:16,820
Then you do find
me attractive.
948
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:17,404
Do I?
949
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:18,528
Aw, you knock me out.
950
00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:23,704
You come any
closer, and I will.
951
00:44:23,786 --> 00:44:23,986
[Chuckles]
952
00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:24,698
Ok.
953
00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:41,724
Hello?
954
00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:45,724
Ellen, I thought
you'd left the ship.
955
00:44:45,808 --> 00:44:48,388
No, I was thinking about
the plot for your new book,
956
00:44:48,477 --> 00:44:51,937
about the plagiarizing novelist.
957
00:44:52,022 --> 00:44:53,192
Uh, darling--
958
00:44:53,273 --> 00:44:57,783
I think the storyline would
be stronger if you stressed
959
00:44:57,861 --> 00:45:02,451
the reason why the novelist
plagiarized to begin with,
960
00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:06,753
because his overly ambitious
wife wasn't satisfied
961
00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:08,329
until her husband
was more successful
962
00:45:08,414 --> 00:45:10,174
than her sister's husband.
963
00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:12,879
Yes, that's possible.
964
00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:20,127
And what if the novelist
made his wife love him again
965
00:45:20,217 --> 00:45:23,797
by publicly confessing
the whole thing
966
00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:26,347
and returning the
literary prize?
967
00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:27,772
It wouldn't be easy.
968
00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:32,650
There would be a great
deal of humiliation
969
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:34,480
for both characters.
970
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:38,145
Ellen, it's a cliche but true.
971
00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:42,655
Two people can survive anything
if they really love each other.
972
00:45:42,739 --> 00:45:47,949
And besides, his wife
is the only prize
973
00:45:48,036 --> 00:45:49,786
the novelist really wanted.
974
00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:14,733
So long.
975
00:46:14,813 --> 00:46:15,813
Thank you for joining us.
976
00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:17,018
[Chatter]
977
00:46:17,107 --> 00:46:20,567
Ah, gopher, Isaac, thank
you so much for not telling
978
00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:21,822
the detective you found me.
979
00:46:21,904 --> 00:46:25,374
Ah, but we did right after
he called a few minutes ago
980
00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:26,869
to let us know that your
senator and his wife
981
00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:27,370
settled out of court.
- What?
982
00:46:27,451 --> 00:46:28,201
- Hey.
- Yes.
983
00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:29,995
Yes.
984
00:46:30,078 --> 00:46:30,868
So there's no one
looking for you.
985
00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:31,504
You're free as a breeze.
- Aw.
986
00:46:31,580 --> 00:46:33,080
I don't know.
987
00:46:33,165 --> 00:46:35,035
I have plans to limit Doris's
freedom for a long time.
988
00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:37,035
[Giggles]
989
00:46:37,127 --> 00:46:38,377
I'm probably the only
guy around who lost
990
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:39,552
his girlfriend to his father.
991
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:40,210
Outrageous.
992
00:46:40,297 --> 00:46:41,467
I call it totally awesome.
993
00:46:41,548 --> 00:46:43,548
- Yes.
- Bye-bye.
994
00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:44,724
Bye.
995
00:46:44,801 --> 00:46:45,721
So long.
996
00:46:45,802 --> 00:46:46,352
[Phone ringing]
997
00:46:46,428 --> 00:46:48,138
Goodbye, captain.
998
00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:49,222
Oh, goodbye, Mrs. Baker.
999
00:46:49,306 --> 00:46:50,556
Captain stubing, I
thought you might like
1000
00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:51,771
to have this copy of my book.
1001
00:46:51,850 --> 00:46:53,100
Why, thank you, Mr. Baker.
1002
00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:56,355
After the press conference
which I'm holding tomorrow,
1003
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:57,938
it could be a collector's item.
1004
00:47:03,737 --> 00:47:05,567
When this is over,
Dan, your future
1005
00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:07,066
won't be worth two cents.
1006
00:47:07,157 --> 00:47:08,827
And don't expect
me to be around.
1007
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:09,949
Oh, the future looks
brighter already.
1008
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:15,206
Thanks a lot for
everything, Julie.
1009
00:47:15,290 --> 00:47:16,170
You sure there's
no hard feelings?
1010
00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:17,880
No, no.
1011
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:19,670
I actually kind of enjoyed it.
1012
00:47:19,753 --> 00:47:21,763
Really?
1013
00:47:21,838 --> 00:47:23,628
Don't answer that.
1014
00:47:23,715 --> 00:47:24,835
Oh, hi, doc.
1015
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:25,585
Hi.
1016
00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:26,586
Good luck, Leonard.
1017
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:27,637
Take care.
1018
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:28,139
Yeah, bye.
1019
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:31,220
Bye.
1020
00:47:31,306 --> 00:47:33,346
Uh, Julie do
you think it might
1021
00:47:33,433 --> 00:47:36,603
be possible for me to maybe get
something to remember you by?
1022
00:47:36,687 --> 00:47:37,597
Yeah, sure, Leonard.
1023
00:47:37,688 --> 00:47:39,188
What would you like?
1024
00:47:39,273 --> 00:47:40,273
How about a weekend in Vegas?
1025
00:47:40,357 --> 00:47:41,817
I know this great motel
that's got mirrors
1026
00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:43,190
on the ceiling, a fiber film--
1027
00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:56,497
[Theme music playing]
1028
00:47:56,547 --> 00:48:01,097
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
70876
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
