Original subtitles

[Music playing]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new, come aboard,

we're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward, let it flow,

it floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

[Phone ringing]

Your cabin is right down there to the left, ok.

Excuse me.

I'm looking for kindly old doc bricker.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We only have one doc bricker here.

But he's young and dashing.

Erica!

Hello.

Nice to see you.

How beautiful to see you.

Isaac, this is Erica dupont.

Oh, hello.

Nice to meet you, Erica.

Thank you.

Erica and I go way back together.

She's like a little sister to me.

Doc was telling me that we're going to be working

together on this cruise.

Yes.

I can hardly wait to get started.

What should I do first?

Well, why don't you meet me in the supply room in 20 minutes.

I'll get you some uniforms and tell you what you have to do.

Great.

Thanks, Isaac.

Adam, you know you're really are a lifesaver.

Aw

I couldn't help my parents pay for my wedding

if it weren't for this job.

Oh, I'm glad to do it.

But you haven't told me about the lucky guy yet.

His name is Robert wallingford.

He's gorgeous, Ivy league, rich family, the works.

Well, it sounds like a dream come true.

All except for one thing.

He thinks that I'm from a rich family, too.

Well, why would he think that?

Well, you see, it all happened so fast.

I met Robert when I was house sitting for a friend of mine

on the beach.

He thought it was my house and my Mercedes

that I was driving around in.

Oh, and when he heard your name was dupont--

he assumed that I was one of the duponts.

I was going to tell him, but before I knew it

we were engaged.

That fast?

Swept off my feet.

I guess that's the expression.

I even had to tell Robert I was spending

this week at my grandmother's.

Well, it doesn't exactly sound like a great way

to start your lives together.

You don't know Robert's parents.

They're very socially conscious.

They'd never let Robert marry me if they

knew that I was from the wrong side of the yacht club.

Well!

Watch your step, Mary Frances.

Here, lean on me.

Lean on me.

I don't want you to twist that pretty little leg.

The only thing that's going to get twisted around here

is your big fat neck. [Forced laughter]

Well, hello.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise director,

and this is Vicki stubing.

Hi, welcome aboard.

I'm Mary Frances bellflower.

The future Mrs. Henry Greg.

Henry fantasizes.

You don't have to explain.

Any intelligent person knows that a lady

of your beauty and taste would never marry

an extraterrestrial like this.

I am, uh, Ben Phillips, and I am her fiance

hogwash.

Oh, will you two stop it.

[Laughing]

Isn't she pretty when she blushes?

The very essence of feminine pulchritude.

Oh, brother.

What Ben is trying to say in his bumbling

way is that, without Mary Frances,

the mocking bird stops singing, the magnolia starts molting,

and the whangdoodle mourneth its lost young.

I'm not sure what that meant, but it

certainly sounds romantic.

Uh, could I have my cabin number please?

I think I may be ill.

Oh, of course.

Let's see.

Miss bellflower, you're on the promenade deck, cabin 128.

Uh, Mr. Greg, you're on the fiesta deck, cabin 225.

And, Mr. Phillips, you're on the fiesta deck, cabin 223.

- All right. - Oh, here.

Let me show you to the cab--

I will escort her to her cabin.

Uh, take it easy.

You're stretching my bones.

Wallingford.

Ah, well, you're in the vip suite on the promenade deck.

That's the best cabin on the ship.

That is what we paid for.

In that case, enjoy your cruise.

Oh, Harold, what a wonderful surprise this cruise is.

Well, I thought that with Robert

and Erica's wedding coming up you

could use a little time to relax.

Oh, I just hope I can relax.

There's so much to think about before the great day.

Stop worrying.

Remember, the bride's family is responsible for all

the details.

I'm sure the duponts will do a fine job.

The duponts.

Our Robert has done us proud.

It'll be the social event of the year.

You're going to be our cutest waitress ever.

You're joking.

I'm serious.

Come on.

The deck was renovated after our last cruise.

Oh, here's someone I want you to meet.

Enjoy your cruise.

Captain donahue, I want you to meet Julie

McCoy, our cruise director.

- How do you do, sir? - How do you do?

Captain donahue is going to be with us

on the cruise as an observer.

Oh, it's our pleasure, sir.

Well, it's my pleasure to be here.

But, uh, captain stubing is much too modest.

The line didn't send me here to observe him,

but rather to learn from him.

I'll be taking over a new command soon.

Captain stubing is the best captain sailing,

so you've got a marvelous teacher.

Remember, your first lesson is to train your crew

to say nice things about you.

- Right down there to the left. - Excuse me.

Welcome aboard. Isaac.

Yeah?

Who is that with captain stubing?

Oh, that's captain donahue.

I met him a few minutes ago.

That's who I thought it was.

You know, he seems like a really nice guy.

And he seems smart enough to be willing to learn all that he

can from captain stubing.

Oh, yeah.

I'll say captain donahue is willing to learn.

A friend of mine served under this guy.

And oddly enough, every person that captain

donahue learned from wound up being

replaced by captain donahue.

Or as he's been better known, double dealing donahue.

Well, do you think we should let captain

stubing know about this?

It's going to be hard to convince him.

The way old double dealer operates, you don't even

know he's cut you until you take your hat off

and your head comes off with it.

[Ship's horn]

Now, listen.

When a passenger signs for a drink,

make sure you get their signature

and their cabin number.

Signature and cabin number. I think I've got it.

Thanks.

Not quite.

Huh?

Right.

A pen.

Thanks, Isaac.

Hey, and hurry back because I'll have a big order for you.

Ok.

Gopher, what are you talking about?

Captain donahue isn't after merrill's job.

He's only on board to have merrill check

him out for another command.

Doc, come on.

I'm not talking about any captain donahue.

I'm talking about a guy whose nickname

is double dealing donahue.

Speaking of nicknames, you're becoming the paranoid person.

Oh, there's captain stubing and his replacement now.

And this is the lido deck, one of our seven passenger decks.

Well, it's just terrific, captain, just terrific.

You know, she's a beautiful ship.

Thank you.

I'm very proud of her.

Well, you have every reason to be from what I've seen so far.

You've been doing a great job, captain.

Well, thank you, captain donahue.

Come this way.

I'll show you something very interesting.

It's our dining room.

It's art deco.

Uh, for a man and his assassin,

they sure seem to be enjoying each other's company.

Well, doc, if you're going to stab somebody in the back,

it's always helpful if you put your arm around them

so you can find the right spot.

Yeah.

Winner takes Mary Frances to dinner.

Terrific.

Looks like you're going to be dining alone, friend.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Gee, Mary Frances, it must be exciting to have

two such ardent admirers.

Oh.

Yes, it must be.

But I wouldn't know.

Those two aren't after me.

They're after Louise.

[Grunt]

Excuse me.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

If you two don't stop, I'm not going to have

dinner with either one of you.

See what you've done.

You have Mary Frances all upset.

The only thing that's going to be upset

is her stomach if she has to eat with you.

Well, you're not going to be eating

anything because I'm going to give you a knuckle sandwich.

Oh, yeah, well--

hold it.

Hold it.

Go back to what you were doing.

I would rather hear you grunt than bicker.

Excuse me.

[Grunts]

You should have seen the look on Jennifer's face

when I told her that our son is marrying a dupont.

Margaret, you are terrible.

I know.

Ooh.

Oh.

There you go, young fella.

I'm so sorry.

Adam, Adam, they're here.

- Who's where? - Here.

Who?

The wallingfords, Robert's parents,

they're here on the ship.

Oh, Adam, if they see me working here, the wedding is off.

What am I going to do?

Erica, they're bound to find out the truth sooner or later.

Adam.

Erica.

Ever since I've known you, you've

always been smart and rational.

Thank you.

Those are two things about you that I've never liked.

Thank you.

I better go see who wants drinks

on the other side of the ship.

Maybe the ocean.

Good idea.

Gopher, you have got to tell the captain.

Aw, I don't know.

I think maybe I'm overreacting.

Maybe doc's right.

Maybe old double dealing donahue has really changed.

But what if he hasn't changed?

And what if he's really after the captain's job?

And the captain has a right to know.

All right. I'll tell him.

- Good. - Tomorrow.

No, now.

Tomorrow may be too late.

How do you tell a man that someone is out to knife him?

You just knock on that door.

He says, come in.

You march right in, and you spill it all out.

Or else on the next cruise, double dealing donahue

may be your captain.

[Knocking]

Come in.

Sir, I have something very important to tell you.

Captain donahue--

yes?

Nice to see you.

- What is it, gopher? - Nothing.

It can wait.

Gopher, whatever you have to say you can say

it in front of captain donahue?

He's family.

Right.

Ok.

Sir, um, this is very important.

Yes, yes, yes, what is it?

Well, sir, how about all that bad weather this cruise--

gopher, what's the matter with you?

All the weather reports have been perfect.

Ah, yeah, I may be wrong about those weather reports.

Nobody's perfect.

But how about these bizarre reports of pirates?

Pirates?

Yeah, I don't believe it either.

I, I've got this little tickle in my throat,

and the medicine gives me weird thoughts.

Gopher, if you have something to say, say it.

Otherwise I'd like to get back to our game.

Yes, sir, well, I think that somebody--

checkmate.

Thank you, gopher.

Thank you.

Now will you please tell me what you wanted

to say that was so urgent?

Well, sir, I wanted to say maybe

you should switch to checkers.

Thank you.

Yes.

Wait.

Wait right here.

I, uh, I understand that your pineapple

mystiques are memorable.

Yes they are.

May I please have two of them?

Sure.

How are the tips coming?

I'm doing real well, Isaac.

Good.

Erica, this is for table six.

Great.

Ok.

Well, I like these so well I got four of them.

Oh, that will be good for Jenny.

Here are your drinks, sir.

Oh, girl, let me.

Oh, my goodness.

There you are, my dear.

I bet you've never seen one of those before, have you?

There we are.

Well.

Alone at last.

I wouldn't bet on it.

So this is where you sneaked her off to.

Do you mind?

This is a table for two.

Yeah.

Excuse me.

Now it's a table for three.

[Inaudible]

Thank you.

Will you two stop playing musical chairs?

You're attracting attention.

Well, we wouldn't if you got rid of him.

You could with just one word.

Say yes to me.

You don't love me.

I love you.

You both love Louise.

Now, that's not true.

You're the only one for me.

And I'm the only one for you.

Oh, right now he's the only one for me.

Waiter, could we order, please?

Thank you.

So, how do you like our ship so far, captain donahue?

She's magnificent.

I only hope my new ship is half as imposing.

So do you know your new command yet?

Well, um, I, um--

as part of the same family were all interested.

Well, actually, i'm unable to tell at this time.

But I promise you, captain, that you

will be the first one to know.

Well, whatever command you're given, I'm sure

you'll do yourself proud.

In the meantime, I'd like to pose

a toast to our distinguished colleague, captain donahue.

May you be as happy on your ship as I am on mine.

Hear, hear.

Erica.

Huh!

Oh.

Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry.

It's just that I'm so scared Mr. and Mrs.

Wallingford are going to come walking in here at any minute.

Oh, you can stop worrying about that.

Huh?

Well, Mrs. Wallingford had a headache,

so I dropped some aspirins off in their cabin.

I think, I think they're in for the evening.

Are you sure?

Well, I didn't lock them in if that's what you mean.

Could that be arranged?

I'm here from the society for the prevention of cruelty

to women.

This woman obviously needs assistance.

Don't trample all over her.

I don't want to marry a woman with mashed feet.

- I just cut in on you. - Oh, really?

I didn't notice.

Hi, goph.

Hi.

Want to know if you'll do me a big favor.

Sure.

Anything.

I want you to go over there and dance with captain donahue.

It is vitally important I speak to captain stubing alone.

You got it.

Excuse me, captain.

I wonder if you'd do a girl a favor and dance with her.

It'll be my pleasure.

I thought you'd never ask.

Sorry.

Well, gopher.

Any new word on the pirates in the area?

No, sir.

No new word.

Same pirates around here as before.

Mary Frances, you're everything beautiful to me.

I look at a beautiful sunset, but I see you.

A full moon can rise, you know, one of those big orange ones,

but I don't see it.

It's you I see.

When the birds sing and the breeze has honeysuckle

on its breath, I see you.

You know that it's love.

All right, time's up.

My turn.

Mary Frances, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

Erica.

Hi, Adam.

Rough day?

Ghastly.

Aw.

I made terrific money in tips, but I

kept expecting Mr. and Mrs. Wallingford

to come sneaking up behind me.

Well, maybe I'll hang bells on them

and tell them it's standard procedure on a cruise.

Oh, Adam.

Robert and I love that song.

I wish he were here dancing with me.

Well, if you don't mind an older substitute,

I'll do my best.

I'd love to.

You're so wise to suggest coming out on deck, dear.

I feel sure it will help my headache.

I think it will.

Besides, it's such a lovely night.

Doesn't that look like--

well, yes.

But it-- well, it couldn't be.

Adam, I just had a terrible thought.

What?

What would happen if Robert tries

to call me at my grandmother's?

Oh, Erica, don't worry.

I'm sure Robert trusts you.

Erica.

Good lord, it's she.

Why, I'm going right down there

and give that young lady a piece of my mind.

No, you're not, Margaret.

This is Robert's problem.

I think I'll just call him up.

It's my time to see Mary Frances to her cabin.

And it's my time to see that you stop at the door.

Hmm-mm.

That is something you don't have to worry about.

Right.

You know, you have made this some enchanted evening,

I want to tell you. - Oh, I did?

Yes, you did.

Oh, oh!

I can't stand any more of your bickering.

Oh, Mary Frances, relax.

Enjoy it.

Most women would love having two men fighting for her.

No, I told you before, Julie.

They're not fighting for me.

They're fighting for Louise.

All right.

Now, who is this Louise?

Well, I'll show you.

She must really be something.

Confidentially, she's a dog.

There-- sweet Louise.

She is a dog.

Uh-huh.

A foxhound.

The greatest in the world, Ben and Henry think.

My father left her to me when he died not too long ago.

And ever since then, Ben and Henry have been courting me.

The only reason they want to marry me is to get her.

Maybe that's all in your mind.

Maybe they really do love you.

Well, maybe.

But they love her more.

I find that pretty hard to believe.

Well, I am going to find out for sure,

even if I have to stay up all night

figuring out a way to do it.

So what do you think about our satellite navigation

system, captain donahue?

Well, it's certainly more impressive than anything

I've ever worked with before.

Captain stubing, could I have a word with you, sir?

It's kind of important, and--

oh!

Captain donahue.

Gopher.

I didn't expect to see you on the job this late, sir.

Captain stubing, you're such a workhorse

that, uh, you probably don't even

realize that a man that even is as finely conditioned

as captain donahue here probably has a hard time keeping up

with you.

Well, uh, i'm just fine, gopher,

so don't you worry yourself about me.

Well, actually, I'm concerned about captain stubing, sir.

I would hate to have him brought up on charges

for working you to death trying to keep

up with his man-killing pace.

Uh, well, I didn't know it was so late.

Maybe we should continue this tomorrow.

Captain stubing, I'm just fine.

No, no, no.

Gopher is right.

Sometimes I forget how hard I drive myself and others.

I'll see you in the morning.

Well, if that's what you want captain stubing, good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Captain stubing, nobody wants to believe this, but it is true.

Captain donahue is after your job.

I know.

People call him double dealing donahue.

He pretends to be your friend.

And then-- what do you mean you know?

You know that he's after your job?

Yes, gopher.

I know.

Good morning.

Well, hi, Julie.

Where are the lovers?

Oh, they're trying to kill one another off jogging.

Oh.

Have you figured out a way to prove that they really

love sweet Louise and not you?

I'm about to lay that trap right now.

Well, good luck.

Thank you.

See you later.

Good morning.

Boy, is he out of shape.

Am I out of shape?

Will you both please sit down and be

serious for just a second.

I've had some bad news from home.

What?

Mother called.

Sweet Louise didn't come back from a hunt.

They're afraid she's lost in gum swamp.

Gum swamp?

She let them run sweet Louise in gum swamp?

Your mother ought to do time for that.

I'm the only one that knows that place.

You got lost in that place.

I got you out, remember?

I'm the only one that can find her.

Well, there's always the national guard.

That's it.

We'll call out the national guard.

Never mind the national guard.

It sounds like a job the 82nd airborne.

Didn't I tell you guys that donahue

was after the captain's job?

Didn't I tell you that?

Now calm down, gopher.

You knew all along, merrill?

Yes, Adam, I knew.

The captain business consists of a very small group.

So if a man does something to earn him the nickname double

dealer, it just stands to reason I'd know him

and of his methods.

Listen, captain, we'll take care of that guy for you.

Please, please, I don't want you to do anything.

The way I look at it, the only real way to fight for your job

is to do your job.

That's exactly what i'm going to go out and do now.

And today, just like every other day,

I'm going to love doing it.

Sir, why won't you let us help you?

Well, how, Julie?

I appreciate all your concern.

But I'm going to let my record speak for itself.

See you around.

Well, gang.

Looks like the captain doesn't want our help.

So we'll help him in spite of himself.

Yeah.

We'll make this the kind of ship old double

dealing donahue wouldn't want to be caught dead on.

Right.

We'll get that Benedict Arnold on our own.

Oh, I can hardly wait to give that double dealer a fast show.

Hmm.

Women can be vicious.

(Julie): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to fabulous puerto

vallarta, a beautiful day awaits you in this Mexican paradise.

Hi, Mary Frances.

Did your plan work?

Oh, I don't know yet.

Oh.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Have you seen Mr. Henry Greg?

He got off the ship.

It worked.

Oh, I had the feeling Ben would be the one

who would stay behind with me.

Oh, but they left together.

They said they were flying home.

Oh.

Is there something wrong?

No.

Thank you.

Sure.

Well, I guess I asked for it, didn't I?

They're both gone.

Well, I guess that proves you were right.

Sort of hard losing out to somebody

with long ears and fleas.

Isaac, I got your message.

What can I do for you.

Captain.

I know that you are going to be taking

over the command of a ship.

Now, nobody knows which ship it's going to be.

Right?

Anyhow, just between you and me, I

might like to be the chief bartender on this mystery ship

you're going to be taking command

of, if you know what I mean.

Well, Isaac, uh, I have been very much impressed by you

and the rest of the crew.

But, uh, I thought you were all very loyal to captain stubing.

Oh, we are.

We are.

But there is loyalty, and then there is ridiculous loyalty,

if you know what I mean.

Anyhow, just in case you will be looking for a chief bartender,

I'd like you to taste my pi a colada.

You're going to love this.

To the future.

To the future.

It has won awards.

Isaac, what did you put in there?

It's, it's terrible.

It's absolutely vile.

Hi.

May I help you? - Yeah.

Do you have a Erica dupont as a passenger?

Dupont.

I'm telling you, Howard, the way Robert sounded on the phone

that marriage is as good as off.

No.

Well, we'll soon find out.

Oh, Robert.

Ah, hello, mother.

Hi, dad.

Thank goodness you're here.

Yeah, well, I think you made a mistake.

I just checked with an officer, and Erica's name's

not on the passenger list.

Oh, she's here all right.

We saw her.

We sure did.

And the way she was clinging to that sailor,

you'd think she was a drowning woman and he was a-- well,

he was a life preserver.

Are you sure you just didn't see

someone who looks like Erica?

Son, we would not have called you if we weren't certain.

Well, then let's go find her.

If that's what you think is best, Erica, then do it.

Thanks, Adam.

If Isaac can replace me, I'll fly home tomorrow.

Every time I turn around I'm afraid I'm going to bump

into Mr. and Mrs. Wallingford.

Then it's simple.

Don't turn around.

Robert!

So this is what you call being at grandmother's.

He's the one.

Robert, I can explain everything.

It's not what you think.

You stay out of this, grandma.

Robert, Adam is just an old friend.

Not old enough.

Well, gopher, Vicki said that you have a cable for me.

Oh, yeah.

He said it was important.

It's in there somewhere.

What is this garbage dump?

If this is a dump, you should have seen

it before we cleaned it up.

All right.

All right.

I want my cable.

Captain, if you can find a cable in all this junk,

you're a better guy than I am.

You find that cable, you hear me?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Oh, listen, would you like some banana.

No, thank you.

Just the cable.

Ok.

Now, if I were a cable in all this junk, where would I be?

Ah.

Hold your hands out, just like this.

Hold them.

You see it in there?

You find that cable, and you bring it to my cabin

immediately.

Got you covered.

[Knocking]

Come on, you guys.

Let's get this place cleaned up.

(Julie): Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you've enjoyed

your stay in puerto vallarta.

Our next stop is the port of Los Angeles.

Boo.

Ben.

You're expecting the 82nd airborne?

I thought you flew home.

So did Henry.

Just an act.

I figured it was the only way I could get rid of him

so I can be alone with you.

But you went with him.

I went to the airport with him.

And when we got on the plane, I sneaked back off

and doubled back to the ship.

Oh, you are awful.

What about sweet Louise?

I thought you were more interested in her.

I was just using her to get to you.

Besides, she's-- she's the smartest dog in the world.

She'll find her way back home, just

like I found my way back home.

You're home Mary Frances.

Believe that.

I do, Ben.

The next one, we have to make an appearance at the governor's

charity benefit.

I can arrange for you to take Mary Jo dempsey.

That's the dempsey family.

Hmm.

Of shaker heights.

Robert, you're not even listening to me.

I'm sorry.

I can't stop thinking about Erica.

After the way that girl took advantage of you.

I'm not sure about that anymore.

I was awfully hard on her.

Maybe I should have heard her out.

Here are your drinks.

Erica.

What are you doing in that outfit?

Working as a barmaid.

I got this job to help my parents pay for our wedding.

Oh.

Oh, I can't believe your parents would have any trouble

paying for a wedding.

Just 'cause my last name's dupont doesn't mean

that I come from a rich family.

You mean, you're-- you're not--

your father isn't a--

sorry to disappoint you.

What about the beach house and the car?

You assumed that they were mine.

I was too afraid to tell you that they weren't.

The truth is, Robert, i'm just an ordinary daughter

of an ordinary autoworker from a very ordinary town.

My family's just as good as anybody else's.

Here's your ring back.

I was wrong to let you think that I'm somebody that I'm not.

Well, i--

I'm glad we found out that she wasn't worthy of you

before the wedding.

Is that what you think, mother?

Because she's not rich, she's not good enough for me.

Now, Robert.

No.

Let me talk.

Did you marry dad because he was rich?

I may be a little old fashioned, but I

want to marry a woman because I love her,

not because she qualifies for top billing

in the social register.

Vicki, I don't understand.

If gopher found my cable, why didn't he bring-- why,

why, why, why didn't he bring it to me instead of sending

you to bring me to him?

Well, you see, captain donahue, gopher

thinks it's your cable, but he's still

trying to fit all the little pieces of paper together.

He's what?

Welcome direct, I'm board Julie, your coy cruiser.

[Giggling]

Welcome aboard.

I'm Julie director, your cruise McCoy.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

You're on fiesta deck, cabin 153.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

You're on the aloha deck, cabin 133.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

You're on the coral deck, cabin 123.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Julie mccruise, you're coy director.

[Giggling]

Hi.

Welcome a-cruise.

I'm Julie McCoy, you're coy director.

(Whispering) Doc, what's going on?

Welcome direct.

I'm board Julie, your coy cruiser.

Uh, every so often Julie has a cruise director break down.

Nothing serious.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Julie mccruise, your coy director.

Hi.

Welcome McCoy.

I'm Julie cruise, your board of directors.

[Giggling]

This'll calm her down in no time.

[Giggling]

Hi.

Welcome abroad.

Hi, welcome aboard.

Hi, welcome aboard.

Hi, welcome aboard.

[Giggling]

That really felt good.

Mary Frances, I loved you like a sister.

But that Henry started after you just to get to sweet Louise.

Oh, now, Ben, don't be too hard on him.

I'm not.

I'm not.

He brought me to my senses.

I mean, then I saw you in a whole new light.

And I said to myself, I love her more than I do that dog.

And that bum's going to get both of them.

You really are a romantic.

Yeah.

So, uh, can I come in?

No, not tonight.

We have plenty of time for that.

And I have had a hard day, believe me.

I know.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night.

Henry?

Where have you been so long?

What are you doing here?

Well, I've been waiting for hours

to spring this surprise on you.

And you are surprised, aren't you?

Oh, yes.

Oh.

I, uh, I thought you flew home.

Oh, that's what that dummy Ben thought, too.

Oh.

The whole thing was just a little idea

of mine to get rid of him.

Oh.

And i-- I'll just bet that you put him on that plane,

and then you sneaked off.

Well, it wasn't hard.

He was so intent on getting back to sweet Louise.

Well.

Now you know who really loves you.

Yes, I think I do.

You know what?

I forgot to ask you to marry me.

What are you doing here?

I left you on the plane.

What are you doing here?

I left you on the plane.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Sit down.

Come on, sit down.

The winner takes me to breakfast.

I'll be here early.

Don't count on it, ginger bird man.

Robert.

Erica, I came to tell you it doesn't make a difference

to me if you're rich or poor.

I love you.

And I want to try and pick up where

we left off before the cruise.

But one thing.

If you, if you've found another guy--

oh, Robert.

Adam's just an old friend.

But that's not our problem.

Our marriage would never work.

Why?

Because as your mother would say, when you marry a man,

you marry his family, as well.

I couldn't stand the thought of waking

up every morning being judged for all the things

that I'm not.

Then I'll just have to insist.

Robert, I told you that the marriage would never, ever--

this isn't the ring that you gave me.

This is my mother's, the ring my father gave

her when they were engaged.

She wants you to have it.

Your mother?

After what happened last night,

she was afraid the other ring might have some,

some bad memories attached.

She said that this ring is nothing but good memories.

And we'll give it even more good memories.

Uh, captain stubing, there is something--

captain donahue, didn't they teach you

at the maritime academy to knock on the commanding

officer's door?

Well, need I remind you I still am the captain of this ship.

Oh, I know that you are the captain of this ship.

Who else would take a job like this

with that weird crew of yours?

Pardon.

They happen to be the best crew afloat.

The best crew--

well, then you had better check this ship

because it must be sinking.

Captain donahue, is this part of your strategy

to oust me from that chair?

That chair.

You must be kidding.

That chair?

I wouldn't take command of this ship

now if my life depended on it, not with that looney

tune crew of yours.

You know, captain stubing, at your next port of call,

you ought to drop them off at a funny farm.

Funny farm.

[Knocking]

Ah-ha.

I, uh, I wonder if any of you knows what caused captain

donahue to develop a sudden aversion to taking command

of the pacific Princess.

I have no idea.

I don't know why.

In any event, I'd like to thank each and every one of you

for doing whatever you did that none of you

knows absolutely anything about.

You're welcome.

[Talking over each other]

Are you kidding me?

Oh, thank you very much.

This has been a wonderful trip.

It certainly has been, all things considered.

Well, have you made your choice yet?

No, not yet.

But I will be back for a honeymoon

trip with one of them.

Well, bigamy can be fun.

With these two?

No thanks.

- Give my best to Louise. - Yes.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

Thanks, Adam.

You've been such a good friend.

You're welcome.

I'm just happy you and Robert got together again.

Not half as happy as I am.

When's the big day?

Three weeks, four days, and, uh, two hours,

but who's counting?

Goodbye.

Bye, Adam.

Oh, bye-bye, doctor.

Doctor.

Goodbye, captain donahue.

I hope you learned something as an observer.

I know I did.

Yes.

Well, thank you very much.

Oh, here they come.

Bye, captain.

And good luck, which you are going to need.

Goodbye, captain donahue.

See you later.

So long.

Thanks for sailing with us.

What did you all do to make him react like that?

Nothing, sir.

He just observed us doing our jobs.

Yeah, just like always.

None of you seem that strange to me.

But maybe that's because we're all used to each other.

[Music playing]

[Theme music]

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