Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:05,208
[Theme - Jack Jones, "the love
boat theme"]
2
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:18,557
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,313
Come aboard.
4
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:27,033
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:35,410
And love, life's
sweetest reward.
6
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:43,843
Let it flow, it
floats back to you.
7
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:51,758
The love boat soon will
be making another run.
8
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:58,313
The love boat promises
something for everyone.
9
00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:03,271
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
10
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:15,664
And love won't hurt anymore.
11
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:21,462
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
12
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:24,415
It's love.
13
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,261
Welcome aboard, it's love.
14
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:42,562
[Music playing]
15
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,912
Gopher, I want you to check
the chef's seafood requisition.
16
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,207
So we're over stocked
Maine's going to be
17
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,330
ordering lobsters from us.
18
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,876
Well, if it's any help,
sir, I know a place where
19
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,880
we can a great buy on bibs.
20
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:10,843
Don't help me.
21
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:11,712
Nice try though, goph.
22
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,508
And Julie?
23
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:13,720
Yes, sir?
24
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,260
Please try to schedule
some recent films.
25
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,854
I'm almost positive Elizabeth
Taylor made a few movies
26
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,889
after "national velvet."
27
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:21,984
If you'd like a list of
them, I'll give Liz a call.
28
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:22,888
I have her home phone number.
29
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,556
Well, before you
call, Adam, please
30
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,435
check the medical supplies.
31
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,071
Make sure the back
orders are noted.
32
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,899
You've been very lax
in your inventories.
33
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,407
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
34
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:39,989
Captain: Oh, and Isaac?
35
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,236
Sir?
36
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,197
The line wanted me to extend
its congratulations to you.
37
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,208
On our last cruise, 38
bar glasses were broken.
38
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,172
That's a three-day
cruise record.
39
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,301
We're writing the
guinness people to see
40
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,918
if it's a new world record.
41
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,165
I'm sorry, sir.
42
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,006
I'll do better.
43
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,507
- Any questions.
- No.
44
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,684
No.
45
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,931
And dad, everybody
has something to do.
46
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,104
How about a job for me?
47
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,891
Vicki, you already have
the hardest job of all.
48
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,896
Growing up is always
a difficult chore.
49
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,858
Dad, that's not the
kind of chore I want.
50
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,478
Dad, I want to work.
51
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,396
I want to feel useful,
instead of feeling
52
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,284
like I'm in everybody's way.
53
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,661
Darling, you're not in
anybody's way, honestly, honey.
54
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,117
All right, dismissed.
55
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:22,831
Thank you, sir.
56
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,791
Sir, thank you.
57
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,292
Oh, I'm sorry.
58
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,543
You see, I'm even in your way.
59
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:40,929
[Theme - dionne Warwick, "love
boat"]
60
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,635
Oh, Isaac, look here they
come again, the merry widows.
61
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:46,805
I'm so excited.
62
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:51,693
[Interposing voices]
63
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,443
Back for their
annual bridge marathon.
64
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,363
I know.
65
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,992
Once those ladies
start playing bridge,
66
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,659
even a tidal can't
get their attention.
67
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,158
- Hello.
- Hello.
68
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:01,119
Welcome aboard.
69
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,829
It's nice to have
you all back again.
70
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:03,869
Good to have you back, yes.
71
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,662
Where's Mrs. Brody?
72
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,535
Oh, we lost her.
73
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,043
Oh, no, Mrs. Brody died.
74
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:11,995
No.
75
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,415
We lost her to backgammon.
76
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,843
But we have new fourth,
Mrs. Simpson, who is just as
77
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,303
crazy, about bridge as we are.
78
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,434
Well, hello, welcome aboard.
79
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,010
Mrs. Simpson, it's
nice to have you with us.
80
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,465
Thank you, it's not--
81
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:24,684
Shirley, cut the small talk.
82
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,854
We're here to play bridge.
83
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,232
Hi, I'm Dr. Leonhardt.
84
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,348
I just checked in
a few minutes ago,
85
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,185
and I just wondered if you
could show me to my cabin?
86
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,650
Julie: Oh, of course,
Dr. Leonhardt.
87
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,320
Just go straight through
the lobby to the elevator.
88
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,359
Julie, these ladies are
headed in the same direction.
89
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,941
Maybe they might show
the doctor to his cabin?
90
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:38,697
Good idea.
91
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:39,528
Uh-- ladies, you don't mind.
92
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,362
I see you have
your usual cabins.
93
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,617
- Yes.
- That's right.
94
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,409
Well, I'd be delighted to
have such charming escorts.
95
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,334
Listen, we've got to
get our bridge started.
96
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,333
Yeah, all right.
97
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,706
Did I hear you mention bridge?
98
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,673
Yes, that's all we came for.
99
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,086
Oh, I've always wanted
to learn that game.
100
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,394
I just never had the time.
101
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,178
Well, you doctors
are kept very busy.
102
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,762
What branch of
medicine are you in?
103
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,558
Building Bridges.
104
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,600
Oh.
105
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:09,643
I'm a dentist.
106
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,886
Oh.
107
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,557
And it's my professional
opinion, that you
108
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,515
have a very lovely smile.
109
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,276
Oh.
110
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:20,318
Shirley, you came
here to play bridge,
111
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,613
not to get fitted for one.
112
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:35,128
[Interposing voices]
113
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,592
Oh, oh.
114
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,090
Doc, doc, doc, look.
115
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,132
Oh.
116
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,335
Boy, if she isn't
a slice of heaven,
117
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,386
my eyes go back into
the shop for repairs.
118
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,140
Yeah, then you better
call for an appointment.
119
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:49,062
She's sailed with us before.
120
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,430
I spent an evening with her.
121
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:54,056
It was like trying to
snuggle up to an iceberg.
122
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,265
You know, doc,
let's face it, there
123
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:58,114
might be one or two women
out there that won't tumble
124
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,361
with your infamous charms.
125
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,702
Gopher, at medical school,
I majored in erogenous zones.
126
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,279
If I can't hit the spot,
they're clinically dead.
127
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:08,164
Well, well, what a
delightful surprise--
128
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,792
Linda Trent.
129
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,039
So nice to see you again.
130
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,750
I'd like to introduce
you to gopher Smith.
131
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,790
Linda Trent.
132
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,134
Hi, I can't help noticing
you're in aloha 152.
133
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,171
Aloha 152.
134
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,835
Well, I'll have
to remember that.
135
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,545
Oh, don't bother.
136
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,595
I've already had my flu shots.
137
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:32,229
I guess, some guys just can't
take iceberg for an answer.
138
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,443
Hello.
139
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,153
Goodbye.
140
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,864
Well, a real fun girl.
141
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,864
Oh, I wouldn't
take it personally.
142
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,566
The lady might have a
south-sea island body,
143
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,986
but she definitely has a
north-pole personality.
144
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:50,696
I'll have her melting
by the end of the cruise.
145
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,035
Hey.
146
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,211
He's going to have frost bite
by the time we hit acapulco.
147
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:56,920
I got $10 smackeroos
says he's a winner.
148
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:57,829
- Oh?
- Mm.
149
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,957
Make it $25.
150
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:01,495
Ok.
151
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,507
You're on, sucker.
152
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:10,184
[Boat horn]
153
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:14,063
[Theme - dionne Warwick, "love
boat"]
154
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:41,670
Two hearts.
155
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,178
Ethel, it only took god
six days to create the world.
156
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:50,598
He didn't have
this rotten hand.
157
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,848
Did you say two hearts?
158
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:53,390
How could you remember?
159
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,142
It was so long ago.
160
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,643
I think I'll pass.
161
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,148
Doris: Shirley, two--
162
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,193
Ethel: Signals?
163
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,356
Oh, I'll never play with
her if she's signaling.
164
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,905
Shirley: I wasn't signaling.
165
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,068
I was waving to Dr. Leonhardt.
166
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:16,327
Doris: Sure, and I wear
petite in pantyhose.
167
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,792
Hello, ladies.
168
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,292
Hello, doctor leonhardt.
169
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,583
Goodbye, doctor leonhardt.
170
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,466
Two no trump.
171
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:37,846
Hi.
172
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,484
You're blocking the sun.
173
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,266
How's this?
174
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:42,725
A little farther.
175
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:46,438
Ok?
176
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,985
Farther.
177
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,490
Is this all right.
178
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,242
Nope, I can still hear you.
179
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,791
Watch how an
expert handles this.
180
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,579
Excuse me, is
this chair occupied?
181
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,417
I really don't know.
182
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,672
That's the oldest
line in the world.
183
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,220
You're doing great.
184
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,181
Well, actually,
the only reason I ask
185
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,812
is because I usually like to
keep one empty chair between me
186
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,139
and another passenger.
187
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,894
That way, I don't get involved
in any casual, inane shipboard
188
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,097
conversations.
189
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,226
You know, that's exactly how--
190
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,612
Barry: See, you're
doing it already.
191
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,729
I better make that two chairs.
192
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:38,827
Hi, Isaac.
193
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,041
Hi, doc.
194
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:43,461
Got anything back
there for a headache?
195
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,631
You're the doctor.
196
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,169
Well, I don't mean to
get rid of a headache.
197
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,752
I mean to get one.
198
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,047
Hey, guys, you want me to
help you serve some drinks?
199
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,092
Oh, come on, Vicki,
now you know minors are
200
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,715
not allowed to serve liquor.
201
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:56,513
Right.
202
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:02,975
Hi, sweetheart.
203
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,730
Hi, dad.
204
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:09,819
I wonder what's
bothering Vicki?
205
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:10,690
She seems a little glum.
206
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,566
Oh, she's just growing up now.
207
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,203
She just wants to feel useful.
208
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:15,871
Why don't you give her a job?
209
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,618
A job?
210
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,080
Like what?
211
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,830
Like anything.
212
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,711
Hey, why don't you
make her your secretary?
213
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:23,908
Oh, come on.
214
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,038
Adam, I need a secretary,
like you need dating lessons.
215
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,245
Well, then, maybe
you need a secretary.
216
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:28,706
I've been striking
out a lot lately.
217
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,506
How you doing?
218
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,306
Fine.
219
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,228
Well, guess i'd
better be going.
220
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:48,230
I have a lot of paperwork
to do, letters to write.
221
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,654
Want me to help you?
222
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,693
Hey, that's not a bad idea.
223
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,736
Would you?
224
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:54,569
What?
225
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:55,913
Would you help me?
226
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:56,948
Well, sure.
227
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,491
It would certainly
make things a lot easier.
228
00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,334
You know what?
229
00:10:59,408 --> 00:10:59,988
What?
230
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,286
You're my new secretary.
231
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,909
Oh, daddy, thank you.
232
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,247
Come on, secretary.
233
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:10,922
[Music playing]
234
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,932
And I'll have six of these.
235
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,428
Hmm, let's see?
236
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,930
One, two, three, four,
five, six of these.
237
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,393
And chewy Taffy.
238
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,845
Oh, I'd pass on the
Taffy, if I were you.
239
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,556
Your fillings will
never forgive you.
240
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,266
Am I going to get billed
for this, doctor leonhardt?
241
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,146
Oh, call me frank.
242
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,993
And I wouldn't dream of it--
free professional opinion.
243
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:35,279
Aha.
244
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,071
Ok.
245
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:41,084
What is your professional
opinion on peanuts?
246
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,618
They go very
good with martinis.
247
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:43,451
Aha.
248
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,616
Two of those.
249
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,463
For that, you get billed.
250
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,869
That'll do it.
251
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,497
Actually, see, this stuff
is all for the other ladies.
252
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,464
Oh, sure, sure.
253
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,085
Well, you see, the new girl
has to run all the errands.
254
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,222
- I see.
- Yeah.
255
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:56,968
Thank you.
256
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,508
Your wife must appreciate having
a dentist around the house.
257
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,467
Oh, I don't think so.
258
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,437
She's married to a lawyer.
259
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,058
We've been divorced
for a long time.
260
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,016
And you've never remarried?
261
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,395
Huh-uh.
262
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,571
Well, a dentist must meet
a lot of attractive women.
263
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,989
Yeah, but it's pretty
hard to establish
264
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:19,818
a relationship with somebody
you see only twice a year.
265
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:20,985
How about you, Shirley?
266
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:21,993
You happily married?
267
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,244
I used to be.
268
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,655
My husband passed away.
269
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:25,373
Oh, I'm sorry.
270
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,163
No, no, no, that's ok.
271
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,366
It hurt for a long time.
272
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,416
But, well now, i'm
getting back on my feet,
273
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:31,249
traveling, seeing friends.
274
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,043
Playing bridge.
275
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,247
Brid-- bridge!
276
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,666
Oh, the ladies will kill me.
277
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:36,674
Yeah, wait a minute.
278
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,915
How about a bridge
lesson over some drinks?
279
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:38,967
No, no, i--
280
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,089
I'm sure you can get
away for a few hours.
281
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,296
Not even for good behavior.
282
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:42,255
I'm sorry.
283
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,314
Yeah, but-- oh.
284
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,108
[Knocking]
285
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,073
Uh-- come in.
286
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,283
Hi, Vicki.
287
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,572
Oh, hey, how's
your new job going?
288
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:03,406
Oh, fine, thanks, goph.
289
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,411
I mean, Mr. Smith.
290
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,794
Oh, gosh, looks like
you're working hard.
291
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,830
You almost filled this basket.
292
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,714
Where's your dad?
293
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,669
I need to talk to him.
294
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:14,879
Well, do you have
an appointment?
295
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,540
No, I don't.
296
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,708
Well, how's Friday, 3:00?
297
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,717
Gopher, I'm glad you're here.
298
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:21,969
I wanted to see you.
299
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,221
I had a little trouble getting
past your secretary, sir.
300
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,392
Well, every ship's captain
needs an efficient girl Friday.
301
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,812
[Phone ringing]
302
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,982
Office of the captain,
Victoria stubing speaking.
303
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:33,732
Oh, fine.
304
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,112
How are you?
305
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,439
Who is it?
306
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,856
Oh, no, I'm afraid not.
307
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:40,744
He's in a conference
at the moment.
308
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,609
Would you like to
leave your number
309
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,986
and I'll have him
get back to you?
310
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,544
One moment, please?
311
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,198
Are you in for our cruise
director, Ms. McCoy.
312
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,746
It's Julie.
313
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:51,499
Well, I don't know.
314
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:51,910
She didn't give her first name.
315
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:08,005
Oh, get my $25 bucks ready.
316
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:11,227
I see our would-be Casanova
is all by his lonesome.
317
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,268
Oh, not for long.
318
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,112
Oh, I get it.
319
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,648
He's gotten our miss Julie here
to seat Linda at his table.
320
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,243
I haven't pulled that tired
old trick since high school.
321
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,988
Well--
322
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:23,780
hi, Julie.
323
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:24,782
Oh, hello.
324
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:27,453
Have you got a nice,
quiet table for me?
325
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,873
You know, I thought
you might enjoy
326
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:32,201
sitting with that gentleman
over there, Barry styles.
327
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,868
He seems very nice and
besides, he requested
328
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:35,287
you for his dinner party.
329
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,504
Oh, did he?
330
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,626
Is something else available?
331
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,302
I'm really not interested
in sitting with anybody,
332
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,011
and certainly not him.
333
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:48,431
Oh, gee, well, everything else
is either taken or reserved.
334
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,102
I'm afraid it's the only
seat left in the room.
335
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:54,561
Well, I'll work it out.
336
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:55,353
Julie: Ok.
337
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,152
Hang on to your epaulets,
and watch miss rejection put
338
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,947
his ego into intensive care.
339
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:08,322
I still have faith in him.
340
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,077
Yeah?
341
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:10,739
Yeah.
342
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:11,696
Enough to double our bet?
343
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,405
Huh?
344
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,204
Uh-huh?
- Yeah.
345
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,997
Ok.
346
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,790
$50.
347
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,964
Gopher, you just weren't
meant to be a rich man.
348
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,375
For a man so anxious to avoid
casual, inane conversation,
349
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,625
you certainly went
to a lot of trouble
350
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,676
to maneuver me to this table.
351
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,470
Well, you--
352
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:28,932
and don't deny it.
353
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:29,511
Julie told me.
354
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,255
Oh, I'm not denying it.
355
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,847
You see I realized you want
to be alone as much as I do.
356
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,603
Since I'm such a
fast eater, I'm done.
357
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,805
The table is yours.
358
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,355
He's doing as well
with her as you did.
359
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,867
Now look, I may have
struck out with the lady,
360
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:53,198
but he didn't even
get up to bat.
361
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,655
Uh-- how's it going old man?
362
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,495
Right on schedule.
363
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,594
One diamond.
364
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,552
And take away the beans.
365
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,053
I double, and
bring back the beans.
366
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,966
One heart, and bring me a
baked potato instead of beans.
367
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,265
I pass on the hand,
and I pass on the beans.
368
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,810
Two hearts.
369
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:22,364
Pass, and pass
the salt, please?
370
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,269
Thank you.
371
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,228
Four of heats.
372
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,897
You're welcome.
373
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:29,736
Doris: Pass.
374
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,572
Ethel: Pass.
375
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,027
Shirley?
376
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:33,367
I'd love to.
377
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,240
Huh?
378
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,116
Huh?
379
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:39,673
Oh, I'd love to play bridge.
380
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,748
Now's your chance, honey.
381
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,455
Throw a card, uh--
382
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,245
just one.
383
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,389
What happened?
384
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,140
This isn't a gym.
385
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,471
Good evening, captain.
386
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,266
Vicki, or miss stubing.
387
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,229
I've been worried about you.
388
00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:58,768
You're really late for dinner.
389
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,601
You must be starved.
390
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,096
Well, not really.
391
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,357
I was so busy with all this
paperwork, I lost my appetite.
392
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,980
Oh, but do you
think you could sign
393
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,106
these so that I could get them
in the mail in the next port.
394
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,113
Well, can't we do
this tomorrow morning?
395
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,614
You're making me feel
like Simon lagree.
396
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,777
Who?
397
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,485
Adam: Simon lagree,
he was the Darth Vader
398
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,615
when your dad was your age.
399
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,873
Are you sure you don't want
just a little something to eat?
400
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,036
Captain, I'm fine.
401
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:22,964
I ordered a hamburger and
I'll eat it in the office.
402
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,341
But there's still
lots to catch up on.
403
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,177
Something wrong?
404
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,801
Broccoli looks
a bit overcooked.
405
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,888
I'll send a memo to the chef.
406
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:50,648
[Music playing]
407
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,800
Hi.
408
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,513
The girls are waiting.
409
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,513
I don't have much time.
410
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,974
Oh, then we'll just
have to dance fast.
411
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,684
Come on.
412
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:23,185
Here you go, two
champagne cocktails.
413
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,398
Now, are you going to drink
both of these at the same time?
414
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,359
No.
415
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,018
One is for Linda.
416
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:33,277
Linda, you've been on
that diet much too long.
417
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,032
Don't worry.
418
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,412
She'll be here.
419
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,700
Ok.
420
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,373
Oh, excuse me.
421
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,541
Uh-- I'm sorry, I
forgot you're uh-- uh--
422
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,499
- Linda.
- Linda.
423
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,208
Linda.
424
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,788
Would you mind helping me out?
425
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,714
You see, I'm celebrating a very
special anniversary tonight.
426
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:49,464
Mm?
427
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,705
Mm-hmm.
428
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,166
This marks one full year
of my being celibate.
429
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,127
Celibate?
430
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,716
You mean, you-- oh.
431
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,563
What is this?
432
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,178
Some sort of put on?
433
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:01,845
No, I'm celibate.
434
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,812
No sex for an entire year.
435
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,023
And I must say, it's
been very enjoyable.
436
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,944
Of course, it does
have its drawbacks.
437
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:13,903
When you're celibate, there's
no one to clink your glass with.
438
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,356
Are you some sort of a monk?
439
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,526
No.
440
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:22,075
No, I just got tired of all
those quickie relationships.
441
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,040
You mean, you gave
up sex completely.
442
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,173
Completely.
443
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,499
It's like giving up smoking.
444
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:32,464
You cut down to one cigarette
a day, you're still a smoker.
445
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:33,756
I'm impressed.
446
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,759
Well, I just felt it was
time to try something new.
447
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,222
But I'm sure you've
heard of the movement.
448
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,432
It's been on all the talk
shows, and magazines, and books.
449
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,603
It's called the new celibacy.
450
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:46,771
Some people refer to it as
the joy of not having joy.
451
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,522
You know, I can
see how a person
452
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:52,194
could get to a place like that
in this sex-oriented world.
453
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:56,784
I myself, if you have noticed,
am terribly turned off to men.
454
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,492
Oh, really?
455
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,162
It's all that
grabbing and pulling.
456
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,620
It's disgusting.
457
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,620
My sentiments exactly.
458
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,161
Do you know, I've come
home with scratches
459
00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:06,455
that didn't heal for weeks?
460
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:14,458
I've always felt that intimacy
was supposed to be beautiful.
461
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,466
Instead, it's just
become trivial.
462
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,719
Well, here's to a
new kind of intimacy
463
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:21,392
without the tyranny of sex.
464
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,074
I'm glad you could
get away, Shirley.
465
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:39,401
Oh, So am I. But one dance
is hardly getting away.
466
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,948
Oh, those girls
run a tight ship.
467
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,331
I'm thinking of
starting a mutiny.
468
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,004
Listen, I have to get back.
469
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,670
Oh, well, how about the
promenade deck in an hour?
470
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:51,669
I'll be there.
471
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,670
All right.
472
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:08,678
Vicki, as captain
of this ship,
473
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:09,387
don't you think I
should be notified
474
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,346
when we run into a hurricane?
475
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,267
Well, if things had been
organized to begin with,
476
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,976
then things around
here wouldn't look
477
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,686
so disorganized while
they're being reorganized.
478
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,146
Naturally.
479
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,737
Vicki, I think you've done
enough work for one day.
480
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,033
Why don't you get to bed?
481
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,526
Oh, well I've got to
finish just typing first.
482
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,707
Excuse me.
483
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,828
Miss stubing?
484
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:31,794
Hmm?
485
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:32,793
You are my secretary, right?
486
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:33,714
Right.
487
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,042
I'm your boss, right?
488
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,916
Right.
489
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:41,093
Speaking to you as your boss,
I'm ordering you to go to bed.
490
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:44,094
Very well.
491
00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:45,097
Vicki?
492
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,058
Hmm?
493
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,889
You're off duty now.
494
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,604
You think you can give
your father a kiss?
495
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:52,935
Oh.
496
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,560
Goodnight, daddy.
497
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:56,937
Goodnight, sweetheart.
498
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,490
I can't get over it.
499
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:04,242
For a solid year,
you haven't had
500
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:07,082
a single intimate relationship?
501
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,409
That's right.
502
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,373
I suppose before
that, you weren't so--
503
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:11,584
are you kidding?
504
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,963
I was so wild, I could get
turned on by a navel orange.
505
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,132
That was I call discipline.
506
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:17,920
Oh, I'd love to hear more.
507
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,963
You want to come in for awhile?
508
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,257
You mean, in your cabin?
509
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,130
Just the two of us?
510
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:23,756
Mm-hmm.
511
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,392
You think it's safe?
512
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,639
Who would I be safer with?
513
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:28,391
A lot of men.
514
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,262
Is this safe for you?
515
00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,807
I mean, you think
it's safe for me?
516
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:33,311
Believe me, there
will be no scratches.
517
00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:35,603
Not even a hickey.
518
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,147
I don't know.
519
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:37,940
Come on.
520
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:51,502
I was beginning to think
I'd never see you alone.
521
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:53,208
It wasn't easy.
522
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,958
I'd never had to develop a
headache on such short notice.
523
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,091
I'm surprised that didn't
make you continue playing
524
00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,248
while they massaged your head.
525
00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:05,297
Oh, Shirley, i'm-- i'm
so glad you're here.
526
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:15,024
So am I.
527
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,312
Headache better?
528
00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:17,734
Couldn't be better.
529
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:19,233
This is the best
headache I ever had.
530
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,360
I knew it.
531
00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:28,117
I knew there was
something up when I saw
532
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,488
her putting some lipstick on.
533
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,655
[Inaudible]
534
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:33,623
Nobody puts on lipstick
when she's planning
535
00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:35,373
to have a headache, alone.
536
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:39,785
[Inaudible]
537
00:23:39,876 --> 00:23:42,166
Come ashore with me tomorrow.
538
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,514
Let me show you puerto vallarta.
539
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,719
I know the most wonderful
little cafe that serves
540
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,430
the best margaritas in Mexico.
541
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,220
Oh.
542
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:52,683
Oh, that sounds terrific.
543
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,814
Yeah, but the girls
are counting on me.
544
00:23:54,891 --> 00:23:56,351
Frank: Well, tell them
you still have a headache.
545
00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:57,234
Shirley: Mm-mm.
- It'll only take a few hours.
546
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:58,900
- No, I can't.
- Please?
547
00:23:58,979 --> 00:23:59,649
Can't.
548
00:23:59,729 --> 00:23:59,979
Please?
549
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,693
Can't.
550
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:04,404
Ok.
551
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:05,404
Ok.
552
00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:06,985
I'll meet you in the
purse's lobby at 11:00.
553
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:07,900
Marvelous.
554
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:10,698
Oh.
555
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:12,532
But you know something,
getting a date
556
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:15,287
with you is tougher
than pulling teeth.
557
00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:25,423
What does she
thinks she's doing?
558
00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:28,875
She knows we can't play
bridge without a fourth.
559
00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,547
Giving up a bridge
game for a date, hmm.
560
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:35,017
That girl just doesn't know
how to have a good time.
561
00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:36,018
[Inaudible]
562
00:24:36,099 --> 00:24:40,309
We came here to play
bridge and we will.
563
00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:42,185
Tomorrow, that dentist
is going to have
564
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:44,112
his appointment canceled.
565
00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:49,451
Barry: When I finally
understood that sex didn't have
566
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:52,619
to be the end result
of every relationship,
567
00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:54,869
my women friends
and I began to enjoy
568
00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:56,241
each other in a whole new way.
569
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,788
Of course.
570
00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:00,711
Well, uh-- that way, you
could channel all that animal
571
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:03,250
energy into higher things--
572
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,915
music, literature, art.
573
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,343
Exactly.
574
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,092
Ever since I've
become celibate, I've
575
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,344
reached greater spiritual
heights, greater awareness.
576
00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:13,676
Well, I remember one
wonderful weekend
577
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:18,182
when my date and I checked
into a romantic little hideaway
578
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:23,606
and locked the door, and
together we knitted an Afghan.
579
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,898
That's what I'm looking for.
580
00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:26,022
What size do you wear?
581
00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:34,162
Oh, you know, I wonder if
it's possible for two people
582
00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:38,251
to spend a whole weekend
together and not want to--
583
00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:39,658
you know?
584
00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:40,956
Well, at first I felt
the same as you do.
585
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:44,289
And that's why I had to spend
the night alone with a woman,
586
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:47,336
just to test myself,
you understand?
587
00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,760
I understand.
588
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:51,129
I'd like to take
that kind of test.
589
00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,886
Someday, you should.
590
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,759
It's the only way
to prove to yourself
591
00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:56,965
that you've got the willpower.
592
00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,175
No, I don't mean someday--
593
00:25:58,265 --> 00:26:00,095
now, with you.
594
00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,563
With me?
595
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:03,563
Where else am I going to
find someone that I know hasn't
596
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,435
a sexual thought about me?
597
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,772
Besides, I'd really
like to find out
598
00:26:06,856 --> 00:26:11,486
if I have the inner strength
to reach that kind of purity.
599
00:26:11,569 --> 00:26:12,569
Oh, I'm sure you do.
600
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:14,324
How am I going to know
unless I take the test?
601
00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:20,083
Please?
602
00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:22,331
Well, ok.
603
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,424
I'll stay.
604
00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:25,668
But I'm doing this against
my better judgment.
605
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:26,790
Thank you.
606
00:26:26,876 --> 00:26:27,916
I really appreciate it.
607
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:28,753
My pleasure.
608
00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:54,698
I knew it.
I knew it.
609
00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:55,199
- What?
- I knew it.
610
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,990
What happened?
611
00:26:57,073 --> 00:26:58,373
Well, I knew you
couldn't hold out?
612
00:26:58,450 --> 00:26:59,200
What did I do?
613
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,704
There I was, fast asleep.
614
00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:03,156
I was perfectly-- I was dreaming
I was making fudge brownies
615
00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:05,036
and you kissed me.
616
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:05,923
I'm sorry.
617
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,749
I'm sorry.
618
00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:08,594
Wait a second.
619
00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:09,668
Wait a second.
620
00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:11,843
You don't have to leave.
621
00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:15,471
Won't happen again, I promise.
622
00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,340
Ok.
623
00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:17,676
But this is your last chance.
624
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:37,157
[Music playing]
625
00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:56,512
[Inaudible]
626
00:27:56,591 --> 00:27:58,391
Good morning, Dr. Leonhardt.
627
00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:00,098
Oh, good morning, ladies.
628
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,048
Would you like to join me?
629
00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:04,597
[Interposing voices]
630
00:28:04,682 --> 00:28:06,562
Well, I'm glad to see you
take time out from bridge
631
00:28:06,643 --> 00:28:09,153
for a little nourishment.
632
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,309
Well, we can't
play yet anyhow.
633
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,728
We're waiting for Shirley.
634
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:14,817
Don't tell me she overslept?
635
00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:17,031
Oh, no, no, no,
she's on the phone.
636
00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:18,952
Ship De jour.
637
00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:23,660
Husbands can be such a
pain in the neck, can't they?
638
00:28:23,743 --> 00:28:26,543
Why Ethel, I think
it's wonderful.
639
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,291
If my husband were
still living, I'd love
640
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,834
him to call me twice a day.
641
00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:31,627
But ladies--
642
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:33,289
Doris, how much
can he miss her?
643
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,548
This is a short cruise.
644
00:28:35,630 --> 00:28:36,300
Wait a minute.
645
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:36,881
Wait a minute.
646
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:37,625
I don't understand.
647
00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:39,125
I thought Shirley was a widow?
648
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,087
Oh, a widow.
649
00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:42,966
[Laughing]
650
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:45,014
Oh, no.
651
00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:46,348
Yeah, that's a new one.
652
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:49,313
She usually calls
herself a divorcee.
653
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,654
Sounds younger.
654
00:28:50,728 --> 00:28:53,518
Oh, but don't worry,
doctor leonhardt,
655
00:28:53,606 --> 00:28:56,606
if Shirley would like to have
a little shipboard fling,
656
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:59,323
I mean, who are we to mix in?
657
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:02,034
Our lips are sealed.
658
00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:09,825
Look at this.
659
00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:12,214
All crew members,
until further notice,
660
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:15,672
there will be a daily
inspection, every day, daily.
661
00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:19,013
Remember, it's a pleasure
to view a neat-looking crew,
662
00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:21,130
signed captain m. Stubing.
663
00:29:21,217 --> 00:29:23,337
Daily inspection--
that's crazy.
664
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:26,138
Do I look any different
today than I did yesterday?
665
00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:26,852
Unfortunately, no.
666
00:29:31,686 --> 00:29:32,346
Hey.
667
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:33,147
What's going on?
668
00:29:33,229 --> 00:29:35,519
Take a look.
669
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,357
All crew members
from your captain.
670
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,493
Please submit a written
report each morning of what
671
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,280
your day's activities will be.
672
00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:47,583
Remember, a day that's planned
well, will turn out just swell.
673
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:51,160
What's the captain writing
here, memos or fortune cookies?
674
00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:51,997
Good morning, everyone.
675
00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:52,831
Good morning, sir.
676
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:53,666
[Interposing voices]
677
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:57,090
Well, uh-- what's
so interesting?
678
00:29:57,170 --> 00:30:00,050
Vicki.
679
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:00,471
Good morning, everyone.
680
00:30:00,548 --> 00:30:01,798
Morning.
681
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:07,183
[Interposing voices]
682
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:10,063
Isaac: No loitering
around the bulletin board.
683
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:15,521
Uh-- merrill, I know it isn't
easy to fire your own daughter.
684
00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:16,895
Oh, don't worry.
685
00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:18,821
I'm sure she'll get tired
of it all before long.
686
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:21,440
Well maybe there's a
way we can make her tired.
687
00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:33,754
I can't remember when I
had a more restful night.
688
00:30:33,831 --> 00:30:36,921
Why, i-- I didn't even
realize you were next to me.
689
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:40,051
Except for that
little mistake I made.
690
00:30:40,129 --> 00:30:41,089
I'm sorry.
691
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,722
I still can't believe
I tried to kiss you.
692
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,010
Well, don't dwell on it.
693
00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:46,643
You did very well
for a first time.
694
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:47,929
You just don't have my
depth of control yet.
695
00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:51,642
You know, I haven't
come across a man like you
696
00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:52,894
in a long time.
697
00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:56,266
And to think, I didn't even
want to come on this cruise.
698
00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:58,864
I was afraid of being stuck
with some shipboard lothario.
699
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:02,900
My friends had to
practically push me on board.
700
00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:06,946
You are so
refreshingly different.
701
00:31:07,031 --> 00:31:09,451
Thanks.
702
00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:10,954
Well, have a nice day.
703
00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:19,538
Julie (on megaphone):
Ladies and gentlemen,
704
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:21,547
welcome to puerto vallarta.
705
00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:24,259
Land tours will be
leaving in one half hour.
706
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:31,603
Shirley: Gopher?
707
00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:36,101
Uh-- excuse me, gopher, have
you seen doctor leonhardt?
708
00:31:36,185 --> 00:31:38,055
The doctor, the dentist,
that doctor leonhardt?
709
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:38,976
Yes.
710
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:39,983
He was the first
one off the ship.
711
00:31:40,064 --> 00:31:41,444
I guess he wanted to
make a full day of it.
712
00:31:41,524 --> 00:31:42,324
Aha.
713
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,320
Uh-- did he leave
a message for me?
714
00:31:45,403 --> 00:31:46,363
No message.
715
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:47,606
Was he supposed
to meet you here?
716
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:48,987
No-- yeah, well, uh--
717
00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:51,833
i-- I just thought maybe i'd
catch him before he left.
718
00:31:51,909 --> 00:31:54,039
Well, if I run into
him, I'll tell him
719
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,330
you were looking for him.
720
00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:57,373
No-- uh-- well, uh--
721
00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,167
thank you.
722
00:32:02,545 --> 00:32:05,295
[Interposing voices]
723
00:32:05,381 --> 00:32:06,721
Jeez.
724
00:32:06,799 --> 00:32:08,679
You're both talking, and I
can't follow either of you.
725
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:09,340
One at a time.
726
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:11,177
All right.
727
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:12,262
The first thing
I need is for you
728
00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:14,557
to pull all your files
on every passenger who's
729
00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:16,481
ever taken a cruise with us.
730
00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:18,849
Make sure all their names are
alphabetized, because what
731
00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:21,516
we're going to do--
732
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:25,686
or what you're going
to do is compile a list
733
00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,317
and we're going to send
Christmas cards to everybody
734
00:32:28,404 --> 00:32:29,534
who has ever sailed with us.
735
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:30,784
Isn't that a great idea?
736
00:32:30,865 --> 00:32:32,235
Well, I guess so, but Julie--
737
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,695
oh, and make sure that
you make a special notation
738
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,946
on all the cards of the
passengers that have taken
739
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,208
more than one trip with us.
740
00:32:38,289 --> 00:32:40,829
Now, listen Vicki, after
you get that project underway,
741
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,587
what I need you to
do is very important
742
00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:46,630
because I want you to make
a list of all the passengers
743
00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:48,054
that are on the
ship and find out
744
00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:48,682
what their favorite drink is.
745
00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:49,548
Then give me the list.
746
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,894
I'll keep it behind the bar.
747
00:32:51,969 --> 00:32:53,929
When they come in, I will have
their drinks ready for them
748
00:32:54,013 --> 00:32:55,393
before their shorts
hit the store.
749
00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:56,683
[Interposing voices]
750
00:32:56,766 --> 00:32:59,226
Vicki, did you get a count
of the cotton balls and tongue
751
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:00,770
depressors like I asked you?
752
00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:02,313
Well, I'm working on it, doc.
753
00:33:02,397 --> 00:33:04,397
Vicki, did you type
that letter to my mom yet?
754
00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:05,782
No, but I will.
755
00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:07,688
Oh boy, what a great
idea the captain had making
756
00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:08,567
Vicki our secretary, huh?
757
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,033
Oh, marvelous idea.
758
00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:12,033
Well, my dad said he
was going to keep me busy.
759
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:15,025
I didn't think he meant
for the rest of my life.
760
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:18,288
Vicki, are you sure
you can handle all this?
761
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:19,411
No problem.
762
00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:20,747
Good, because
after lunch, we have
763
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,042
a lot more stuff for you to
do, like paperclips, pencils--
764
00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:24,496
I need pencils,
number two pencils--
765
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:34,345
[interposing voices]
766
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:39,099
[Music playing]
767
00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:49,685
Hi, Linda.
768
00:33:49,777 --> 00:33:52,157
No puerto vallarta for you?
769
00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:53,108
Mm-mm.
770
00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:53,777
No?
771
00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:54,615
You're missing a fun trip.
772
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,079
I'm missing a fun
trip right here.
773
00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:56,949
Mm.
774
00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:58,954
Sounds like a
problem of the heart.
775
00:33:59,036 --> 00:33:59,696
Barry?
776
00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:00,747
Mm.
777
00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:02,290
You know, I thought it
was so nice to finally
778
00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:03,623
meet a man that
didn't come on to me
779
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,288
the first minute he met me.
780
00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:07,457
That would be nice.
781
00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:08,955
Yeah, except for
one thing, I think
782
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,127
I could really fall for this
guy, and would you believe it?
783
00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:12,795
He's kicked the habit.
784
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,554
You wouldn't mean
he's stopped smoking?
785
00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:15,795
Are you kidding?
786
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:17,557
That's the only thing
you will do in bed.
787
00:34:17,638 --> 00:34:19,678
I don't know.
788
00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:21,726
I guess somewhere along
the line some bad lady must
789
00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:23,309
have really turned him off.
790
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:25,944
Well, that doesn't mean that
some good lady can't come along
791
00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:28,272
and turn him right back on.
792
00:34:28,357 --> 00:34:28,857
Yeah.
793
00:34:28,941 --> 00:34:30,861
Look at it this way.
794
00:34:30,943 --> 00:34:33,533
You're Florence nightingale and
you're giving aid and comfort
795
00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:37,163
to some poor sick soldier.
796
00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:38,491
Yeah.
797
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:40,326
Maybe I better go practice
rolling my bandages.
798
00:34:40,411 --> 00:34:44,711
[Laughing]
799
00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,263
Doris: Get me bridge and a
two pound box of chocolates
800
00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:53,339
and I'm in heaven.
801
00:34:53,424 --> 00:34:54,684
You're going to
get there fast,
802
00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:59,849
Doris, if you don't stop getting
chocolate all over these cards.
803
00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:00,931
Well, ok.
804
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:04,595
Shirley?
805
00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:05,435
Hmm?
806
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:06,730
Oh, I'm sorry.
807
00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:09,653
Why didn't you play my ace?
808
00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:11,532
I'm sorry, I didn't see it.
809
00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:13,609
Thanks for the gift.
810
00:35:13,694 --> 00:35:16,074
Shirley, wake up.
811
00:35:16,155 --> 00:35:17,405
Don't you have any clubs?
812
00:35:17,490 --> 00:35:20,080
Sorry.
813
00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:22,079
Oh, we all make mistakes.
814
00:35:22,161 --> 00:35:24,871
I just don't seem to
be able to concentrate.
815
00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:28,706
Well here, have a chocolate.
816
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,463
That always helps
me concentrate.
817
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:31,915
You should be in
a trance by now.
818
00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:39,347
Oh, Shirley, what is
the matter with you?
819
00:35:39,428 --> 00:35:40,388
I'm ruining all your fun.
820
00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:41,351
I--
821
00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,600
of course not.
822
00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:45,063
We're having a great time.
823
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,733
I'm spoiling it for you and I
just can't seem to help myself.
824
00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:49,862
I-- really, i--
825
00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:52,109
i-- I really am sorry.
826
00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:52,901
I--
827
00:36:00,157 --> 00:36:01,237
Listen, I think we were wrong.
828
00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:05,035
I didn't realize she
cared that much for him.
829
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:07,501
I think I hate myself.
830
00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:08,752
Me too.
831
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:12,133
Oh, Doris, how can you
eat at a time like this?
832
00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:17,934
She can.
833
00:36:20,761 --> 00:36:21,931
Julie (on megaphone):
We hope you enjoyed
834
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,763
your stay in puerto vallarta.
835
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,678
Our next stop is the
port of Los Angeles.
836
00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:30,098
Captain: See you
later, Vicki, oh--
837
00:36:30,187 --> 00:36:32,477
miss stubing.
838
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:34,525
Uh-- merrill, how's
the plan coming?
839
00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:35,939
Has Vicki quit her job yet?
840
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:36,987
Not yet.
841
00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:37,949
Incredible.
842
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:38,909
After all the work
we've piled up on her,
843
00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:41,118
she hasn't even complained?
844
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,779
Not a word.
845
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:45,117
Well, you should be very
proud of her, merrill.
846
00:36:45,202 --> 00:36:45,792
Oh, I am, Adam.
847
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:47,460
I'm always proud of her.
848
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:52,458
But tell me this, what do
we do if Vicki doesn't quit?
849
00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:53,963
Don't worry.
850
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:54,745
We'll jump ship.
851
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:04,684
[Music playing]
852
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:51,852
I didn't even think
I'd see you again,
853
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,726
much less be dancing with you.
854
00:37:54,814 --> 00:37:55,774
Why?
855
00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:57,316
Well, when you left so
abruptly this morning,
856
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:02,280
I got the distinct feeling
I was making you uneasy.
857
00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:07,083
That maybe I was threatening
your vow of celibacy.
858
00:38:07,159 --> 00:38:07,949
No.
859
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:08,575
I don't think anyone
could do that.
860
00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:10,411
No offense.
861
00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:12,666
It's just that i'm
a different guy
862
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:13,668
from the Barry of last year.
863
00:38:16,502 --> 00:38:28,222
I'll bet at this time
last year, that was you,
864
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:38,266
all over some poor girl,
cheek to cheek, nose to nose,
865
00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:40,227
lips to lips.
866
00:38:40,317 --> 00:38:41,357
Yeah, that was me.
867
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,324
I didn't miss a spot.
868
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:49,406
I suppose you
were also a nibbler.
869
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,793
Like a rabbit in
a field of corn.
870
00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:58,172
Now ears to me are
just hearing devices.
871
00:38:58,252 --> 00:39:02,802
Doesn't all this body contact
bring back any fond memories?
872
00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:06,722
Well, actually it does.
873
00:39:06,802 --> 00:39:08,512
It reminds me of
the last super bowl
874
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:11,056
when the linebackers
racked up the quarterback.
875
00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:31,911
Frank, uh-- we got
something to tell you.
876
00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:33,084
Another surprise?
877
00:39:33,162 --> 00:39:35,292
If it's anything
like the last one,
878
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:36,293
I better make this a double.
879
00:39:36,373 --> 00:39:41,053
Frank, listen,
Shirley's husband's dead.
880
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,128
Dead?
881
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:43,804
Well, when did it happen?
882
00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:46,381
About a year ago.
883
00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:49,467
A year?
884
00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:51,603
Why did you tell me
he was still alive?
885
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,640
We made it up.
886
00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:57,475
Ethel: It was the only way
to save our bridge game.
887
00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,731
Oh, frank, can you
ever forgive us?
888
00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:01,404
Doris: If you don't, we won't
tell you where Shirley is.
889
00:40:09,031 --> 00:40:09,661
Forgiven.
890
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:10,740
Oh, good.
891
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,460
I don't why I let you talk me
into coming here for more wine?
892
00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:23,835
As a matter of fact, I think
you've had quite a few too many
893
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:25,711
already.
894
00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:26,838
Oh, don't be such
a stick in the mud.
895
00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:29,224
This is special.
896
00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:31,801
This is our last night.
897
00:40:31,887 --> 00:40:32,637
Come on.
898
00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:34,271
Relax.
899
00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:38,018
Let's loosen this tie here, huh?
900
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:39,902
And let's get rid
of this jacket.
901
00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:40,689
Mm.
902
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:49,860
[Inaudible] That's a
little bit better, hmm?
903
00:40:49,947 --> 00:40:51,527
A toast.
904
00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:53,025
To celibacy.
905
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:53,867
To ecstasy.
906
00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:03,460
Now, Linda, don't
do anything rash.
907
00:41:03,544 --> 00:41:04,554
Remember my vow.
908
00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:06,258
Oh, I know all about your vow.
909
00:41:06,338 --> 00:41:07,588
I thought you and I
were more interested
910
00:41:07,673 --> 00:41:08,843
in the spiritual side?
911
00:41:08,924 --> 00:41:11,304
I love your spiritual side.
912
00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:11,885
I can't believe that
after a year of purity,
913
00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:13,889
I'm backsliding.
914
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:15,561
Where did I go wrong?
915
00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:15,969
Don't fight it.
916
00:41:16,056 --> 00:41:17,976
Oh, well.
917
00:41:18,058 --> 00:41:19,478
I just hope you'll
respect me in the morning.
918
00:41:27,943 --> 00:41:29,903
Shirley?
919
00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:31,907
Frank.
920
00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:33,069
I'd like to explain
about this morning.
921
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:36,077
There's nothing to explain.
922
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,410
You just decided to go ashore
without me, that's all.
923
00:41:38,495 --> 00:41:39,865
That's not all.
924
00:41:39,955 --> 00:41:41,285
I left without you
because I thought
925
00:41:41,373 --> 00:41:43,923
you were one of those
part-time wives who
926
00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:46,801
was looking for a
meaningless shipboard fling.
927
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,259
Well, that wasn't for me.
928
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,469
Shirley: Well, I told
you I was a widow.
929
00:41:50,549 --> 00:41:51,719
Where did you ever get the
idea that I was married?
930
00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:58,517
No, they didn't.
931
00:41:58,599 --> 00:41:58,969
They couldn't have.
932
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:00,268
I mean, really.
933
00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:03,441
Don't be angry
with them Shirley.
934
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,940
Bridge is all they have.
935
00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:07,823
Think of what we could have.
936
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:08,610
Hey.
937
00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:17,914
You know, we're the
first bridge foursome I've
938
00:42:17,993 --> 00:42:19,373
ever seen with three dummies.
939
00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:51,034
Is that you, dad?
940
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:52,570
It's the captain.
941
00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:55,783
Oh-- oh, I must
have fallen asleep.
942
00:42:55,864 --> 00:42:56,914
I'm sorry.
943
00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:59,331
Miss stubing, I don't
consider sleeping on the job
944
00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,410
the same as doing the job.
945
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,155
But it was only
for a minute, dad.
946
00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:05,538
It's captain.
947
00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,084
And if I dozed off
for only a minute,
948
00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,167
where do you think this
ship might wind up?
949
00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:11,763
I'm sorry.
950
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:17,339
Vicki, this isn't easy
for me, but as the captain,
951
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:19,178
I've learned the
true meaning of duty,
952
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:22,563
responsibility, leadership.
953
00:43:22,641 --> 00:43:27,691
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to relieve you of your duties.
954
00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,691
You are?
955
00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:31,693
I mean, you are.
956
00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:35,195
We all appreciate your
dedication to your job.
957
00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:38,819
Now, it's a company policy
that you receive some sort
958
00:43:38,907 --> 00:43:42,157
of severance pay, so I've
decided that yours will
959
00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:45,874
be the largest banana
royal chocolate
960
00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:48,206
chip rainbow sherbet
ice cream sundae
961
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:50,252
ever made aboard this ship.
962
00:43:50,336 --> 00:43:52,296
That was for the sundae.
963
00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:54,049
What was that for?
964
00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:55,341
For firing me.
965
00:43:58,177 --> 00:44:01,927
[Music playing]
966
00:44:04,099 --> 00:44:08,229
Oh, Barry, I feel so guilty
about pulling that dirty trick
967
00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:09,522
on you last night,
but believe me,
968
00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:15,145
I only did it to show
you that I love you.
969
00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:17,735
I'm sorry.
970
00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:19,111
You're sorry.
971
00:44:19,198 --> 00:44:22,408
When it comes to dirty tricks,
you're strictly little league.
972
00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:23,453
Meaning?
973
00:44:23,535 --> 00:44:26,495
Well, right now i'm
torn between two feelings.
974
00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:29,460
One is wonderful and
the other is rotten.
975
00:44:29,541 --> 00:44:32,251
Wonderful, because I just had
the experience of a lifetime
976
00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:36,586
with a super lady and rotten
because this whole celibacy
977
00:44:36,673 --> 00:44:39,763
thing was just a scheme.
978
00:44:39,843 --> 00:44:40,803
A scheme?
979
00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:45,096
I'm about as
celibate as a mink.
980
00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:48,142
Get out.
981
00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:51,227
Ok.
982
00:44:51,313 --> 00:44:53,323
But there's one little
extra piece of information
983
00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:55,029
you ought to know.
984
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:56,239
I love you too.
985
00:44:56,318 --> 00:45:00,448
I really love you.
986
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,781
What is, uh--
987
00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:03,445
that part of the routine?
988
00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,454
Does that go along with
the rest of the scam,
989
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:08,246
you tell them you love them,
they'll forgive you anything.
990
00:45:08,330 --> 00:45:09,620
I don't blame you
for not believing me,
991
00:45:09,706 --> 00:45:12,416
but for what it's
worth, it's the truth.
992
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:19,215
After all, why would
I have confessed?
993
00:45:25,931 --> 00:45:26,641
Barry?
994
00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:32,311
You do?
995
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,516
You really do love me?
996
00:45:44,908 --> 00:45:46,198
[Laughing]
997
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,655
What's so funny?
998
00:45:47,744 --> 00:45:48,834
I was just thinking,
I hope all of our sons
999
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:50,752
grow up to be celibate,
just like their old man.
1000
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:07,812
[Music playing]
1001
00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,023
Well, it looks
like Dr. Leonhardt
1002
00:46:14,104 --> 00:46:16,024
took you out of the
bridge club, Mr. Simpson.
1003
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,606
Well, not exactly.
1004
00:46:17,691 --> 00:46:19,741
We're switching
to honeymoon bridge.
1005
00:46:19,818 --> 00:46:21,148
Awe, congratulations.
1006
00:46:21,236 --> 00:46:22,356
Thank you.
1007
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:23,486
- Thanks for sailing with us.
- Bye bye.
1008
00:46:23,572 --> 00:46:24,032
Hope you like
1009
00:46:24,114 --> 00:46:25,124
[interposing voices]
1010
00:46:25,199 --> 00:46:25,869
Oh, Shirley--
1011
00:46:25,949 --> 00:46:28,369
Shirley, can you
ever forgive us?
1012
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:29,872
Oh, [inaudible]
1013
00:46:29,953 --> 00:46:30,873
Oh, I feel terrible.
1014
00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:32,044
Oh, honey, no.
1015
00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:35,712
Shirley, Doris hasn't had
any chocolate in 12 hours.
1016
00:46:35,792 --> 00:46:37,252
Oh, we're sorry, honest.
1017
00:46:37,336 --> 00:46:38,586
No, it's ok.
Why?
1018
00:46:38,670 --> 00:46:39,630
It was wonderful.
1019
00:46:39,713 --> 00:46:40,843
Really?
1020
00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:43,553
Let's just say that, uh--
it's water under the bridge.
1021
00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:45,974
[Interposing voices]
1022
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:47,973
All right, after
that, we leave.
1023
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:49,255
[Interposing voices]
1024
00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:50,218
Congratulations.
1025
00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:51,387
We'll miss you.
1026
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:52,555
Bye.
1027
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:53,393
Here, let me give
you hand with this.
1028
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:53,977
Oh, no, no.
1029
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:55,561
Don't bother, Isaac.
1030
00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,226
Doris likes to
carry her own candy.
1031
00:46:58,315 --> 00:46:58,605
Goodbye.
1032
00:46:58,690 --> 00:47:01,490
Bye bye.
1033
00:47:01,568 --> 00:47:02,738
Thanks for sailing with us.
1034
00:47:02,819 --> 00:47:03,569
Bye bye.
1035
00:47:08,075 --> 00:47:09,155
Uh-- nice cruise, Linda?
1036
00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:10,873
Yes.
1037
00:47:10,953 --> 00:47:10,993
Thank you, Dr. Bricker.
1038
00:47:14,581 --> 00:47:15,751
I told you.
1039
00:47:15,832 --> 00:47:17,712
She came on by herself and
that's the way she's leaving.
1040
00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:18,713
$50 bucks, please?
1041
00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:23,256
Well, so long, doc.
1042
00:47:23,340 --> 00:47:25,130
Barry.
1043
00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:26,427
If you ever want to
talk to the iceberg,
1044
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,140
she'll be thawing out
around my fireplace.
1045
00:47:39,731 --> 00:47:41,651
Doc, let me tell you a
little something about women.
1046
00:47:41,733 --> 00:47:44,493
Gopher, at a time like this,
silence is not only golden,
1047
00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:45,650
but it could save your life.
1048
00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:52,996
Well, Vicki, how does it feel
to be a lady of leisure again?
1049
00:47:53,078 --> 00:47:54,158
Well, I love
it, but, you know,
1050
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:56,076
I can't spend the rest
of my life doing nothing.
1051
00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:58,044
Oh, I wouldn't mind a
couple of weeks of that.
1052
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,625
Did I hear spend the rest
of my life doing nothing?
1053
00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,052
Gopher, tell her how it's done.
1054
00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:03,760
Careful, doc.
1055
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:04,629
I'll tel them about Linda.
1056
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:06,215
Oh, you wouldn't, would you?
1057
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:09,340
Oh, Julie, I want you to
remind you to talk to the chef
1058
00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:10,798
before our next trip.
1059
00:48:10,887 --> 00:48:12,677
I think the desserts
should be a little fancier.
1060
00:48:12,764 --> 00:48:13,974
Yes, sir.
1061
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,727
Well, dad, you know that I can
bake cakes and other things--
1062
00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:31,028
[Theme music]
1063
00:48:31,078 --> 00:48:35,628
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
72881
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
