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1
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♪ Love, exciting and new ♪
2
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,523
♪ come aboard ♪
3
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,780
♪ we're expecting you ♪
4
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,161
♪ and love ♪
5
00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:34,656
♪ life's sweetest reward ♪
6
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,495
♪ let it flow ♪
7
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:43,956
♪ it floats back to you ♪
8
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:47,593
♪ the love boat ♪
9
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:51,382
♪ soon will be making
another run ♪
10
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,640
♪ the love boat ♪
11
00:00:55,722 --> 00:01:00,272
♪ promises something
for everyone ♪
12
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,601
♪ set a course for adventure ♪
13
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:06,687
♪ your mind on a new romance ♪
14
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,145
♪ and love ♪
15
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,025
♪ won't hurt anymore ♪
16
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,914
♪ it's an open smile ♪
17
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:24,166
♪ on a friendly shore ♪
18
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:29,050
♪ it's love ♪
19
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:35,260
♪ welcome aboard
it's love ♪
20
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,038
I still don't think
you should take this trip.
21
00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:04,672
I just have to get away, Harry.
22
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:07,249
Now remember,
you don't need any new romances.
23
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:11,045
That Lee Marvin decision
is murder for wealthy guys like you.
24
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,591
After all,
the court made you pay off your last live-in girlfriend
25
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,546
almost half a million bucks.
26
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,886
I know, I signed the check.
27
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,272
As your lawyer,
I'm warning you that--
28
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,559
it won't happen again.
29
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,023
Good, but just in case...
30
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,068
Take these.
31
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,070
And before you even
shake hands with a girl,
32
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:39,373
be sure she signs one
of these releases freeing you of any legal obligations.
33
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,240
I'll see you next week.
34
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,867
Don't forget,
no girls, no nothing.
35
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,996
And, oh-- enjoy yourself.
36
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,469
Oh sir, listen,
let me give you a hand.
37
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,469
Oh, thanks.
38
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,764
But what I could really use
is a leg.
39
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,764
Well, what happened?
40
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,768
Car accident...
With some crazy woman driver.
41
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,481
I just want to enjoy this trip
and forget the whole thing.
42
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,692
I'm Dr. Bricker.
Just call me if you need anything.
43
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,317
Uh, that, you've gotta
get yourself.
44
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,124
Oh!
45
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,124
Oh!
46
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,790
I'm so sorry.
That was my fault.
47
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,790
It's quite all right.
48
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,290
Oh, no, no. Karen Ellison.
49
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,995
-Not you here.
-Don Barry?
50
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:35,086
I don't believe it.
51
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:35,086
This is the nut that rammed
into my car and broke my leg!
52
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,303
Now she's trying
to get yours!
53
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,432
That was your fault,
not mine!
54
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:40,469
Listen, why don't I just
show you your cabin.
55
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,973
Do you know that you caused me
the most terrifying experience of my life.
56
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,597
I may never drive a car again.
57
00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:48,143
Every pedestrian in america
will light a candle.
58
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:51,437
Good, then maybe
you'll be able to see the road better.
59
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,028
Welcome aboard
the hate boat.
60
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,655
[Julie] Hello, welcome aboard.
61
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,575
How do I find my cabin?
My name is massey--
62
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,995
well, Mr. Massey,
welcome aboard.
63
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,304
Uh, never mind.
Can you help me, miss?
64
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,339
Uh, it's promenade 110,
through those doors and left.
65
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,633
Thank you.
66
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,256
Why do you suppose
he was avoiding me?
67
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,642
I guess he just prefers
a younger woman.
68
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,891
Oh.
69
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,524
Say, over there,
with the captain. Isn't that--
70
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,060
it is! That's Mark Redding.
71
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,064
The singer?
72
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,064
Yes.
73
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,225
Where?
74
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,648
This way please.
75
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,648
Sure.
76
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:39,033
Oh, no. Here he comes.
Oh, my hair's a mess. Am I wearing lipstick?
77
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,662
Relax, you're fine.
You're the younger woman, remember?
78
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:44,029
I'd like to have you
meet our cruise director, Julie McCoy.
79
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,157
Hi, Julie.
80
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,157
How do you do.
81
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,543
Please call me Mark.
82
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,543
Okay.
83
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,539
-And this is my daughter, Vicki.
-Hey Vicki.
84
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,871
-[Gasps]
-How's it going?
85
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,419
Well, uh, perhaps you'd like
to take Mr. Redding for one of your deluxe tours?
86
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,880
Uh, I guess I could find
some time.
87
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,336
Well, Vicki, if you're too busy,
I'm sure that I could, uh--
88
00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:05,221
can I call you Mark?
89
00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:05,221
Sure.
90
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,942
[Ship horn blowing]
91
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,440
[Cheering]
92
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,288
Oh, can little me
sign your cast as well?
93
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,585
Oh, I don't need your pen.
94
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,710
I'll get a knife and carve it.
95
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,757
Sorry, there's no more room.
So many other girls, you know how it is.
96
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,931
I'd be happy to carve it
on the other leg.
97
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,761
Thanks, but I'm paying enough
getting the first one fixed.
98
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,477
Well, with all the money
you're collecting from your insurance claim,
99
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,188
you could buy a bionic leg.
100
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,898
With you around,
I'd probably need one.
101
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,106
Look, you're still better off
than I am.
102
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,730
You've made me a nervous wreck.
103
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,316
Look how my hands shake.
104
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,494
Well, it looks
like you two have stopped fighting.
105
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:04,951
Have you become friends now?
106
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,121
Friends? With him?
107
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,913
I'd rather be friends
with Frankenstein.
108
00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,503
He's perfect for you.
His parts are replaceable.
109
00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,751
Look, this is a big ship,
110
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,421
why don't you each choose
alternate decks?
111
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,290
Good idea.
112
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:20,246
I'm going down to the cardroom.
113
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,838
I only telling you that
so you won't run me down again.
114
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,014
You'll recognize me. I'll be
the one with the red carnation on his cast.
115
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:35,437
Oh, hi. I hope
you're having a good time.
116
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,310
Let me know if there's anything
I can do to help you to enjoy your cruise.
117
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,478
Uh...
118
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,276
I already gave.
119
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:48,833
You know, this boat is much
bigger than I thought it was gonna be.
120
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,988
Yeah, it's like a floating city.
121
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,697
Now you've seen the whole ship.
And this is your cabin.
122
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,368
Oh, great.
123
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,996
You know the pool up on the deck
looks like a lot of fun.
124
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,665
Why don't you meet me up there
in about 15 minutes?
125
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,674
Huh?
126
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,674
Unless you got another date?
127
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,716
[Gasps] Oh, no, 15 minutes.
128
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,763
At the pool. That'll be fine.
129
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,513
You're a sweetheart.
130
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,389
See you then.
131
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,516
Oh, Vicki, how'd you
get along with Mark Redding?
132
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,860
Honey, this is your father.
133
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:28,411
The captain.
134
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,329
Remember, we met earlier.
135
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,911
Oh, I'm sorry,
captain, merrill.
136
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,326
I was thinking
of something else.
137
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,214
Hmm.
138
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,711
Dad.
139
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,711
Mm-hmm.
140
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,002
You were much older
than mom, weren't you?
141
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,875
That's right.
142
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,882
How much older?
143
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,882
Oh, six or seven years.
144
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,675
But it didn't make
any difference, did it?
145
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,838
No, it's very common.
146
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:52,007
It usually works out better
when the man is older.
147
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,733
I agree totally.
148
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,733
You do?
149
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,029
Mm-hmm.
150
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,411
There sure are a lot of
good-looking ladies this trip.
151
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:10,908
Mmm.
152
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,950
Say, you oughta be
out there socializing.
153
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,544
No way. The only friendships
I could be interested in are with men.
154
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,865
Huh?
155
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,865
Oh?
156
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,876
Oh, you don't understand.
157
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,876
But I do, I'm a doctor.
158
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,547
But then again,
I really don't.
159
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:29,220
No, you see, men are decent.
160
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,090
What you see is what you get.
161
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,756
But them?
162
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,466
Look closely.
163
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,556
Each one of them has this
invisible wire
164
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,602
pulling you
right into the courtroom.
165
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,556
They should be forced
to wear price tags
166
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,687
just like everything else
you have to pay for.
167
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,936
Pay for?
168
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,446
I think you have
the wrong idea about the cruise business.
169
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:52,448
The only thing I ring up
is drinks.
170
00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:54,411
The best things
in life are free.
171
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,532
Free?
172
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,293
Look at this canceled check.
173
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,212
That's what the court made me
pay my last girlfriend.
174
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,132
Four hundred and sixty...
[Clears throat]
175
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,012
...thousand dollars.
176
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,879
That's more than
I made all week.
177
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,427
I keep that to remind me
not to get involved
178
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:16,601
and there are other things
in life beside girls.
179
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,470
See ya.
180
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,595
I sure hope he's wrong.
181
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,810
Me too.
182
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:28,817
If guys start giving up girls,
we're gonna be out of business.
183
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,071
The love boat will become
a bait barge.
184
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,786
[Humming]
185
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,713
[Gasps] Oh!
186
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,713
[Exclaims]
187
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,172
Oh, I'm so sorry.
188
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,842
Why do I keep doing
these terrible things?
189
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,222
That's okay, you just made
a lot of fish very happy.
190
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,680
Well, at least let me
pay for them.
191
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:57,139
No, no, no, that's okay.
[Chuckles]
192
00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,971
But you could do me one favor.
193
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:03,477
Uh, stay right here.
Don't move.
194
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,061
Give me a ten second
head start, okay?
195
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,061
[Sighs]
196
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,145
Oh!
197
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:24,964
Thanks.
198
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,880
You waiting
to see the doctor?
199
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,670
Yeah, he's gonna check my cast.
200
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:33,054
I guess it's a bit difficult
to get around on that thing.
201
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,302
Oh, not really.
I just have to watch out for stray bowling balls.
202
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,767
Well, it's good that
you can joke about it.
203
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:45,559
I can't complain.
Thanks to the insurance company, I get a free vacation.
204
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,055
With the two of us off the road,
205
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,767
so is the automobile club.
206
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:53,777
-What do you mean?
This was my first accident. -First?
207
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,911
Well, uh... maybe the second.
208
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:02,203
Now really, how many accidents
have you had?
209
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,746
Um... four.
210
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,746
Four?
211
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,250
How many accidents
have you had?
212
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,956
Oh... just a few more than you.
213
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:13,513
Oh. Then I guess it was
inevitable that we would run into each other.
214
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,219
[Chuckles]
215
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,179
Hey, uh...
216
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,097
Wanna sign my cast?
217
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:26,062
Sure, why not,
since I'm paying for it.
218
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,900
I like your accent. It's cute.
It's Swedish, isn't it?
219
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,532
Uh-huh. And so is that.
220
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:38,824
[Reads inscription]
221
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,776
[Laughs]
222
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,196
Translation...
223
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,204
"How about dinner tonight?"
224
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:50,961
Great idea! Sure.
I'll pick you up at eight o'clock.
225
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,133
Lovely.
226
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,014
[Speaking Swedish]
227
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,380
Absolutely.
Uh, what does that mean?
228
00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,842
Goodbye. See you later.
229
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,309
[Julie] To the right,
two, three.
230
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,226
Hello.
To the left.
231
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,244
Hi. You want
to join our class?
232
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,244
Sure.
233
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,779
And to the left.
234
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,492
And one more here.
235
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,624
Okay, that's good.
Now let's do flat back and touch your toes.
236
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,872
Flat back, touch your toes.
237
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:30,624
Flat back, touch your toes.
Flat back-- that's good.
238
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,631
There, you got it.
That's good.
239
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:39,966
Okay.
240
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,340
Flat back, to the left.
241
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:47,347
Flat back, touch your toes.
Flat back, touch your toes.
242
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,523
Flat and touch.
Touch your toes. Flat back. That's good.
243
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,437
Flat back, touch your toes.
244
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,479
That's real good.
245
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,855
So after the cruise,
I gotta go to Vegas
246
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,485
'cause I'm playing there
for two weeks.
247
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,202
And then back to New York,
where I'm starting--
248
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,872
hi, Mark.
249
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,872
Hi.
250
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,950
Excuse me.
Could I have your autograph?
251
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,950
Yeah, sure.
252
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,869
[Mumbling]
253
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,877
There you go.
254
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,050
Oh, right. Thanks.
255
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,050
Yeah.
256
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,970
Um... see you again?
257
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,093
Okay.
258
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,093
Okay.
259
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,637
-Very obvious, isn't she?
-What?
260
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,347
I guess you get that
all the time.
261
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,519
Huh?
262
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,573
Oh, autographs.
263
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,031
Yeah, all the time.
264
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,776
Hey, I'm gonna get
some more juice, okay?
265
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,083
Hey, looks like you've snagged
the most popular guy on board.
266
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,872
Hey, yeah and get a load
of that competition, huh?
267
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,377
What competition?
He's already found the girl who interests him right here.
268
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,000
Yeah, sure.
269
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,589
[Mark] So is this
your first cruise?
270
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,385
Oh, here you go Vicki,
see you later.
271
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,104
Bye-bye.
272
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,765
So who needs a superstar anyway?
273
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,055
You still have us.
274
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,600
[Southern accent] Hi, Mark,
could I have your autograph?
275
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,234
[Knocking]
276
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,234
[Normal voice] Who is it?
277
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,520
Hi. I brought the stuff
you wanted to borrow.
278
00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:43,855
Oh my goodness.
279
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:46,782
I see the hurricane didn't miss.
Were there any survivors?
280
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:47,912
Geez. [Chuckles]
281
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,198
How do you do all this
every day?
282
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,202
Being grown-up sure is
a lot of work.
283
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:55,544
Oh, you get used to it
gradually.
284
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,371
It's almost time for dinner
and I'm nowheres near ready.
285
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,206
I'll never be able to do this.
286
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,593
Well, how would you like
some help from an old pro?
287
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,718
Great, sure need lots of it.
288
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,679
Well, you don't need quite
so much as you think.
289
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,429
You know, the natural look
is always best.
290
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,932
It is?
291
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,932
Sure it is.
292
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,603
Let me put down these things
293
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:18,102
and then we'll see
what we can do with your hair.
294
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:20,145
Do you think
we could maybe do it up?
295
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,519
Yeah, I think maybe.
Sit down.
296
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,402
There we go.
297
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,243
Julie?
298
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,243
Hmm?
299
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,318
How long does it take to...
300
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:35,831
Look like a woman?
301
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,575
Oh, you never know.
302
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,083
Don't be in too big of a rush.
303
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,124
It'll happen soon enough.
304
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,957
Sure doesn't seem like it.
305
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,922
[Julie chuckles] I know
what you mean.
306
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,342
And I know what a difficult
time you're going through.
307
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,722
My mother used to call it
"growing pains,"
308
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,759
when you're not quite
a little girl anymore and you're not quite a grown woman.
309
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,598
But don't worry
you do get there.
310
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,229
You know, Vicki...
311
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,979
A bust doesn't have anything
to do with being a woman.
312
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,773
I mean, look at me.
I'm no Suzanne somers,
313
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,687
and I do real fine.
314
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,989
Honest.
315
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,569
Well,
enough of this seriousness.
316
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,315
Let's get your hair together.
317
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:18,118
And we will find one gorgeous,
grown-up, hairdo coming up.
318
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,543
Yeah!
319
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,081
Now did we get all the curlers?
320
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,081
I think so.
321
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,035
[Lute playing]
322
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,086
[Music continues]
323
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,419
[Applause, cheers]
324
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,729
[Applause]
325
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,650
Ah, this is what
I always dreamed of.
326
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,145
A romantic cruise,
a beautiful girl
327
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,277
and me hobbling along
behind her.
328
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,277
[Chuckles]
329
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,994
Oh! I'm so sorry.
330
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:01,456
It's all right. It's all right.
I'm getting used to it, now.
331
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,418
Maybe we should put
bells on you.
332
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,553
Thank you, Jorge.
333
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,376
Thank you for the help.
334
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,098
We make a good team.
335
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,098
Mm-hmm.
336
00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:20,345
[Clears throat]
I'm really enjoying the evening.
337
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,682
Me too.
338
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,438
Who could ever
think of us two ending up like this?
339
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,400
Do you know ever since
I was a young girl,
340
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:32,192
I've fantasized about
meeting someone like you
341
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:35,237
on a dreamy cruise
to faraway places.
342
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,624
Miles from my insurance agent.
343
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,083
[Both chuckle]
344
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,873
You know you're very lovely?
345
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,417
And that's real. The accident
did not affect my eyesight.
346
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,417
Thank you.
347
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,053
It's all kind of wonderful,
isn't it?
348
00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:57,012
You're not even
a little bit nervous?
349
00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:57,012
Why should I be?
350
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,183
Because of what I'm thinking.
351
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,675
What are you thinking?
352
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,433
We both seem such menaces.
353
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:08,438
So right after dinner,
in the interest of passenger safety...
354
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,185
I think we should go
to my cabin.
355
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:16,241
[Chuckles] Yes,
the passengers will be safer,
356
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,241
but what about me?
357
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,583
You could always run.
I could never catch you.
358
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,699
[Chuckles]
359
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,462
Good evening, merrill.
360
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,462
Good evening, Adam.
361
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,211
Good evening.
362
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,053
Oh, excuse me.
I was telling you about my little girl.
363
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,549
I think I misled you.
364
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,511
Well, well. Look at you!
365
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,974
[Chuckles] You look lovely.
366
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,974
Thanks.
367
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,150
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present my daughter, Vicki.
368
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,648
Good evening, everyone.
Please be seated.
369
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,398
Sorry I'm late.
370
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,574
Do you think the captain
would mind having me for a son-in-law?
371
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,283
[Chuckles]
372
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,123
Good evening, captain.
373
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,123
Evening, Mark.
374
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:03,409
-Hi.
-Oh, hello there.
375
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:05,413
You certainly are
full of surprises.
376
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,365
I almost didn't recognize you
when you came in.
377
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,333
You look sensational.
378
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,496
-You really think so?
-[Mark] Yeah.
379
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,995
-You gonna be
on the lido deck? -Uh-huh.
380
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:17,257
-Save me a dance?
-Okay.
381
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,841
Terrific.
382
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,176
Bye-bye.
383
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,176
Bye.
384
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,509
Remember you still
have a curfew.
385
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,137
Oh, captain, please.
386
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:27,183
I'll make it up
some other time.
387
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,650
Well...
388
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:30,938
Okay.
389
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,781
On second thought,
I think I'll turn in early.
390
00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:47,003
Whatever you say, honey.
391
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,499
It just seems a shame
to deprive so many people of seeing you
392
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,631
when you look so ravishing.
393
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,591
Maybe another time.
394
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,306
That and that,
all right?
395
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,810
Hey, how are you feeling
after dinner?
396
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,361
Oh, okay, I guess.
397
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,699
You're surrounded by that
all year 'round?
398
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,831
Yeah.
399
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,831
Mm-hmm.
400
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:27,198
How do you stand it?
401
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:30,455
Well, you sort of develop
a mental discipline.
402
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,245
Mental discipline, huh?
403
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:38,051
And that helps to, uh...
404
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,170
That and cold showers.
405
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:44,888
There's got to be something else
to do on this ship besides...
406
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:48,810
Well, sure, there's, uh...
Bingo and movies.
407
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:52,230
Movies. That'll do it.
408
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:55,020
At least I won't have to watch
any of this anymore.
409
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,689
Hey, what's playing tonight?
410
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,946
An Italian film,
"l'appassionata."
411
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,946
L'appassionata?
412
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,782
Yeah, what's that mean?
413
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,782
That means he's in trouble.
414
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:12,290
Ah, good.
Brut and chilled just right.
415
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,082
You handle that
like you're used to it.
416
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,376
Oh, of course.
I do this as a way of life.
417
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,710
I always have champagne
every time I have an accident and take a cruise.
418
00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:21,085
Ow! Ow!
419
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,723
I'm sorry. Let me see.
420
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,723
Oh! Ow.
421
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,890
[Exclaims]
422
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:30,099
Oh! Oh. Are you all right?
423
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:30,099
Mm-hmm. Uh...
424
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,022
[Both chuckle]
425
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:34,060
We are menaces.
426
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:38,324
Maybe, uh--
maybe we should stay in this cabin forever?
427
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:43,744
[Moans]
428
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,905
[Knocking]
429
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,240
I'll get it.
430
00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,793
Cablegram for Mr. Don Berry.
431
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:59,632
If he's still alive.
432
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:59,632
He sure is.
433
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,626
Here, cablegram for you.
434
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,626
You're soaked.
435
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,755
Oh, oh, that's all right.
436
00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:08,472
My robe's hanging
behind the bathroom door. Why don't you change?
437
00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:10,559
I'll do that.
438
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:18,017
Please excuse me.
439
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:26,493
Oh, no!
440
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,489
What's wrong?
441
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:31,334
What's wrong is that judging
from the report you gave them,
442
00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:33,409
your insurance company says
they're not honoring my claim.
443
00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:35,705
Oh, but you can collect
from your company.
444
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:39,419
My company was
on 60 minutes last week. The company president's missing.
445
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:42,554
What are you gonna do?
446
00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:44,459
I'm going to sue you
and your company,
447
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,338
and, if I have to, I'm gonna
put you on the witness stand
448
00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:48,644
and expose the lies
you obviously told them.
449
00:23:48,718 --> 00:23:50,508
Lies?
450
00:23:48,718 --> 00:23:50,508
Yes, lies.
451
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:53,215
I don't know what you said,
but it had to be all lies.
452
00:23:54,057 --> 00:23:56,137
Well, sue all you like.
453
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:58,646
I was obviously right about you
in the first place.
454
00:23:58,728 --> 00:24:00,018
Goodbye!
455
00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:13,200
[Francesca] No, gino,
you mustn't.
456
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:17,075
[Gino] Ah, my lips hunger
for yours.
457
00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:19,214
[Francesca] Oh, gino.
458
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:23,131
[Gino] Ahh, I take you
in my arms.
459
00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:26,721
[Gino] I kiss your cheek.
460
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,218
[Francesca] Don't.
461
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,680
[Gino] Your nose.
462
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,680
[Francesca] Stop.
463
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,180
[Gino] Your neck.
464
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:35,892
[Francesca] Don't. Stop. Please.
465
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,104
[Gino] Amore.
466
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,104
[Francesca moans]
467
00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:41,725
Don't stop.
Please don't stop.
468
00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:46,111
Gino, gino.
469
00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:49,398
[Gino] Francesca.
470
00:24:49,487 --> 00:24:51,357
[Francesca] Gino, no.
471
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,706
Must be very interesting.
472
00:25:48,713 --> 00:25:50,133
Oh, it's nothing.
473
00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,681
Just a woman's article.
474
00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:58,306
Doc, what is it about women
that attracts you most?
475
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:02,813
Well... I don't know.
476
00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,984
Brains? Beauty?
477
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:09,654
Well, I guess what attracts me
most is, uh...
478
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:10,784
A women's mind.
479
00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:13,823
That's what you go for?
480
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:17,825
Oh, absolutely.
Nothing gets to me as much as a woman's mind.
481
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:22,159
Uh, it's what's up here
that counts.
482
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,417
-What about their figures?
-Figures?
483
00:26:26,626 --> 00:26:29,336
Well, I suppose, um-- I mean--
484
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,841
oh, figures are fine, but...
485
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:34,383
I've always been
a brain man, myself.
486
00:26:34,467 --> 00:26:36,137
[Woman] Oh, there you are, doc.
487
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:38,513
I'm sorry I'm late.
488
00:26:38,596 --> 00:26:42,976
Oh, uh, Vivian. Well, I guess
we, uh, better be off.
489
00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:44,889
Well, aren't we gonna go down
to your cabin?
490
00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:44,889
To play chess.
491
00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:47,607
She's deep, very deep.
492
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:50,646
Deep.
493
00:27:18,803 --> 00:27:19,973
Hi.
494
00:27:22,932 --> 00:27:24,812
[Both chuckle]
495
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,400
Oh, don't feel bad.
496
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:30,439
It's been my experience
that men are basically fickle.
497
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,940
Oh, I wasn't interested
in him anyway.
498
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,940
Oh.
499
00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:39,282
He's coming back!
500
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:45,043
Careful, girls.
You don't want to get too much sun.
501
00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:52,251
"Girls"! That's it?
502
00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:55,337
That's all?
Oh, after last night.
503
00:27:58,009 --> 00:27:59,929
[Sobs]
504
00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:03,721
Vicki, is anything wrong?
That was a very fast exit.
505
00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:07,981
It was only like you said.
"Growing pains."
506
00:28:08,686 --> 00:28:10,436
"Growing pains"?
507
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,732
She doesn't look
like she can afford to grow much more.
508
00:28:13,316 --> 00:28:15,486
Men! You're all alike.
509
00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:34,457
Hi, I'm Angela.
510
00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:34,457
Hi.
511
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:37,966
You, uh, getting ready
in case we have to take to the lifeboats?
512
00:28:39,592 --> 00:28:42,012
Therapy. Keeps me busy.
513
00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:43,755
Uh, dry my back, would you?
514
00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:48,976
Not with your breath,
with the towel.
515
00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:53,728
You're kinda cute.
Are you taken?
516
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,821
"Taken"?
517
00:28:55,900 --> 00:28:59,950
You know, married, engaged,
girlfriend aboard?
518
00:29:00,029 --> 00:29:02,619
None of the above.
519
00:29:00,029 --> 00:29:02,619
[Gasps] Um, you missed a spot.
520
00:29:04,617 --> 00:29:06,867
[Both chuckle]
521
00:29:06,953 --> 00:29:09,333
[Sighs] It sure feels good
to be out.
522
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:11,373
Out?
523
00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:13,838
Well, I teach
at this boys' school,
524
00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:16,498
and we had
this measles epidemic.
525
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:20,878
And anyway I've been
in quarantine with ten-year-olds for six weeks.
526
00:29:21,759 --> 00:29:23,889
And I really like men
527
00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:27,020
and I've been locked up
a long time.
528
00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:31,058
So I came aboard
to catch up on some serious socializing.
529
00:29:32,645 --> 00:29:34,055
You know what I mean?
530
00:29:34,814 --> 00:29:36,324
Six weeks?
531
00:29:34,814 --> 00:29:36,324
Mm-hmm.
532
00:29:37,775 --> 00:29:40,355
Shall we, uh, discuss it
over some orange juice?
533
00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:44,365
It's full of vitamins,
and you never know when you're gonna need them.
534
00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:46,279
No, you never do.
535
00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:47,987
Two orange juice, please.
536
00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:52,497
Good.
537
00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:55,252
So let's play.
Your court or mine?
538
00:29:55,335 --> 00:29:57,875
[Gulps] Uh...
539
00:29:58,671 --> 00:30:00,381
Court.
540
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:03,045
-Would you mind
signing a form? -A what?
541
00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:04,554
Just a little piece of paper.
542
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,346
It's not for me.
It's for my lawyer.
543
00:30:06,429 --> 00:30:07,929
You see, he's kind of
superstitious.
544
00:30:08,014 --> 00:30:10,524
It'll just take a minute.
I'll be right back.
545
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,600
Save my place.
546
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,600
Well, hurry.
547
00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:40,513
Angela.
548
00:30:41,631 --> 00:30:42,921
I'm back.
549
00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:44,587
Here's the form.
550
00:30:46,344 --> 00:30:47,934
Angela, it's me.
551
00:31:05,321 --> 00:31:06,531
Going ashore?
552
00:31:06,614 --> 00:31:08,324
No, I'd probably
trip over someone
553
00:31:08,408 --> 00:31:09,948
and start
an international incident.
554
00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:12,334
Oh, go on.
You can handle that.
555
00:31:12,412 --> 00:31:14,582
Just carry a fog horn
or something.
556
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:16,624
No, I don't feel like it.
557
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,668
What's the matter?
558
00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:22,301
You see my insurance company
refuses to pay Don's claim,
559
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:24,010
and he's blaming me for it.
560
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:27,009
Things were going
so well between us.
561
00:31:27,093 --> 00:31:30,473
I really like him,
and I thought it was mutual.
562
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,465
Well he's probably forgotten
the whole thing.
563
00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:34,307
No, he was pretty angry.
564
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:38,272
You see he counted on that money
to pay for this trip.
565
00:31:38,354 --> 00:31:42,284
And now I can't convince him
it wasn't my fault.
566
00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:44,938
Then go and tell him.
567
00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:49,321
I guess we're just two ships
that collide in the night,
568
00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:50,827
and both sink.
569
00:31:52,910 --> 00:31:56,040
[Sighs] So I lost
a pretty neat guy.
570
00:31:56,122 --> 00:31:58,962
Well, that's the only thing
I'm not insured against.
571
00:32:03,504 --> 00:32:04,884
[Knocking]
572
00:32:04,964 --> 00:32:06,304
Come in.
573
00:32:09,927 --> 00:32:12,257
Oh, hello, Julie.
574
00:32:09,927 --> 00:32:12,257
Hi.
575
00:32:13,931 --> 00:32:16,641
What is it?
576
00:32:13,931 --> 00:32:16,641
Well, I don't quite
know how to put this.
577
00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:17,846
It's about Vicki.
578
00:32:17,935 --> 00:32:19,645
Oh, and Mark Redding?
579
00:32:19,729 --> 00:32:22,319
-Oh, you already know...
-[Chuckles] It's hard to miss.
580
00:32:22,398 --> 00:32:25,318
Oh, well, you see, sir,
it's her first big crush
581
00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:27,151
and I think she needs
some guidance.
582
00:32:27,236 --> 00:32:30,236
She's feeling kind of rejected
and ugly ducklingish.
583
00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:33,372
If you'd like,
I'll talk to her.
584
00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:34,991
No, thank you. I'll handle it.
585
00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:36,368
It's a crucial time
for both of us.
586
00:32:36,454 --> 00:32:38,004
I just want Vicki
to know and understand
587
00:32:38,081 --> 00:32:40,291
that I'm here for her
when she needs me.
588
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,207
I always will be.
589
00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:45,884
I just don't know exactly
what I'm going to say.
590
00:32:45,963 --> 00:32:47,553
Well, don't worry, sir.
You'll think of something.
591
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:50,762
Promise me.
592
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:50,762
Mm-hmm [chuckles]
593
00:32:50,843 --> 00:32:54,313
You can start out by telling her
she's got a great dad. Bye-bye.
594
00:33:04,315 --> 00:33:07,735
[Gopher] Land tours
will be leaving in ten minutes from the coral deck gangway.
595
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:09,489
We hope you enjoy your day.
596
00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:17,291
Why don't we have
that next round down in my cabin?
597
00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:20,120
I thought you'd never ask.
598
00:33:20,206 --> 00:33:23,496
Um... one little thing.
I have something I'd like you to sign first.
599
00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:27,174
The check?
600
00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:27,174
No, it's just
a little paper, form.
601
00:33:28,631 --> 00:33:32,011
You want me to sign something?
Before we...
602
00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:33,433
No, it's nothing really.
603
00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:45,895
Vivian?
604
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:58,947
[Isaac] Ah.
605
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:58,947
I'll have a double bourbon
with cyanide chaser.
606
00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:02,288
Uh, if you order two cyanides,
607
00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:05,333
you get to keep
the Donald duck glass we serve it in.
608
00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:09,915
What's happening?
Want to talk?
609
00:34:10,506 --> 00:34:12,256
Nah.
610
00:34:12,341 --> 00:34:15,681
I made such a jerk
of myself with someone I really care about.
611
00:34:15,762 --> 00:34:19,022
Hmm. Would you believe
that is the very first time
612
00:34:19,098 --> 00:34:21,308
that this has ever happened
on this ship?
613
00:34:21,392 --> 00:34:24,102
I slammed her head with my chin,
drenched her so she'll probably get pneumonia,
614
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:27,017
and almost shot her ear off
with a cork. How could she forgive me for that?
615
00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:32,324
Got a thought. You ready?
616
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,874
Find her and tell her
you're sorry.
617
00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:38,905
She wouldn't listen to me.
618
00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:43,960
I'd throw myself overboard,
but I'd probably miss the ocean.
619
00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:00,012
[Knocking]
620
00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:00,012
Come in.
621
00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:04,019
-Hi.
-Hi.
622
00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:09,147
I didn't see you
in the shore party and I got worried.
623
00:35:09,232 --> 00:35:11,362
I decided
to clean my room instead.
624
00:35:12,568 --> 00:35:14,448
Now I'm really worried.
[Chuckles]
625
00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:18,780
[Sighs]
626
00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:24,037
Vicki... you know
that I respect your privacy.
627
00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:29,339
But this is one of those times
when I think a girl needs a mother.
628
00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:32,668
And since I'm playing
both parts, I...
629
00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:35,554
Oh, what I'm trying to say is...
630
00:35:38,636 --> 00:35:42,306
I'd like it if you'd include me
in what's happening to your life.
631
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,015
I know you love me,
captain merrill...
632
00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:49,856
But somebody your age
could never understand.
633
00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:52,609
Well, I wasn't born this old.
[Chuckles]
634
00:35:54,026 --> 00:35:55,106
It's Mark Redding.
635
00:35:56,153 --> 00:35:57,573
You probably think I'm silly.
636
00:35:57,655 --> 00:35:59,115
No, I don't.
637
00:35:59,198 --> 00:36:01,448
It reminds me
of my first crush when I was 12.
638
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:04,905
Twelve? How old was she?
639
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:08,076
Oh, very old, almost 24.
640
00:36:08,165 --> 00:36:12,375
Miss foley, my beautiful,
beautiful sixth-grade teacher.
641
00:36:12,461 --> 00:36:15,881
You know, I used to stay in
after school just so I could clean her erasers.
642
00:36:15,965 --> 00:36:18,755
[Chuckles]
Boy, was I smitten.
643
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:20,343
I bet she never led you on.
644
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,848
Sure she did,
but not knowingly.
645
00:36:24,515 --> 00:36:26,805
She was just being nice,
like Mark has been.
646
00:36:28,519 --> 00:36:31,689
But I misunderstood
because that's what I wanted to do.
647
00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:35,321
Oh, I think I understand.
648
00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:37,985
Naturally,
she broke my heart.
649
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:40,740
She eloped
with the football coach, a real zombie.
650
00:36:41,616 --> 00:36:44,446
But I had the last laugh.
I showed her.
651
00:36:44,535 --> 00:36:46,495
-How?
-I stopped cleaning her erasers.
652
00:36:46,579 --> 00:36:48,209
[Chuckles]
653
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:52,668
Vicki.
654
00:36:52,752 --> 00:36:56,802
The most important thing
is you keep liking yourself, just the way you are right now.
655
00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:00,553
Okay?
656
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:03,927
Okay.
657
00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:07,811
Don't forget,
it's the big dance tonight. I expect to see you there.
658
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:11,602
But what about my curfew?
I'm supposed to be in bed by 10:00.
659
00:37:11,687 --> 00:37:14,017
Well, we can forget
that tonight.
660
00:37:14,106 --> 00:37:16,566
Who could ever sleep
in such a clean room?
661
00:37:34,251 --> 00:37:36,381
It's really kinda sad, gopher.
662
00:37:34,251 --> 00:37:36,381
Hmm?
663
00:37:36,462 --> 00:37:40,342
He's crazy about Karen.
But he won't do anything about it.
664
00:37:40,424 --> 00:37:42,844
We ought to help him.
665
00:37:40,424 --> 00:37:42,844
I don't know about that, man.
666
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:45,847
When those two get together,
the free world is in danger.
667
00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:49,560
Yeah, but if they don't latch on
to each other, they're gonna end up finding someone else,
668
00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:55,362
which means two unsuspecting
strangers are gonna end up in a demolition derby.
669
00:37:55,439 --> 00:37:57,979
Okay, tell you what.
I'll get Karen.
670
00:37:58,067 --> 00:38:01,027
But what if he leaves?
671
00:37:58,067 --> 00:38:01,027
He won't.
He kind of likes it here.
672
00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:02,412
Okay.
673
00:38:06,575 --> 00:38:08,575
Um, is there anything else
I can get you?
674
00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:10,831
Oh, no, thanks.
I'm gonna finish this and go.
675
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:15,078
Go? You can't! Um...
676
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,047
The next drink is on the house.
677
00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:19,259
How come?
678
00:38:20,172 --> 00:38:21,222
Captain's orders.
679
00:38:21,298 --> 00:38:23,218
You see we have our special
680
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:25,390
happy hour for, uh...
681
00:38:25,469 --> 00:38:26,429
Hobblers!
682
00:38:26,512 --> 00:38:28,722
Not for me. I'll be leaving.
683
00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:31,062
Okay.
684
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:32,982
[Humming]
685
00:38:49,618 --> 00:38:51,408
[Band playing dance music]
686
00:38:55,374 --> 00:38:56,834
-[Music stops]
-[People cheer]
687
00:38:58,044 --> 00:39:00,714
[Julie] Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we have a very special treat.
688
00:39:00,796 --> 00:39:02,966
May I introduce Mark Redding!
689
00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:06,391
[Band plays drumroll, fanfare]
690
00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:13,385
[Band playing rock ‘n' roll]
691
00:39:21,525 --> 00:39:25,315
♪ When I see you
walkin' down the street ♪
692
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:28,494
♪ I remember ♪
693
00:39:28,574 --> 00:39:33,124
♪ everything about you
oh, so sweet ♪
694
00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:34,964
♪ so warm and tender ♪
695
00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:40,249
♪ ooh
I can't stop lovin' you ♪
696
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:43,956
♪ it's all I want to do ♪
697
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:47,008
♪ every time I see you ♪
698
00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:54,482
♪ when I see
the sunlight in your hair ♪
699
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,768
♪ the moonlight in your eyes ♪
700
00:39:56,852 --> 00:40:00,772
♪ suddenly, I know how much
you really care ♪
701
00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:03,475
♪ I realize ♪
702
00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:08,657
♪ ooh
I can't stop lovin' you ♪
703
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:12,329
♪ it's all I want to do ♪
704
00:40:12,409 --> 00:40:15,579
♪ every time I see you ♪
705
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:20,459
♪ every time I see you ♪
706
00:40:20,543 --> 00:40:23,253
♪ I'm in love again ♪
707
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:27,591
♪ every time I see you ♪
708
00:40:27,675 --> 00:40:31,845
♪ I know
I am such a lucky man ♪
709
00:40:31,929 --> 00:40:34,519
[Saxophonist playing solo]
710
00:40:45,943 --> 00:40:51,203
♪ Ooh
I can't stop lovin' you ♪
711
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:54,872
♪ it's all I want to do ♪
712
00:40:54,952 --> 00:40:58,042
♪ every time I see you ♪
713
00:40:58,122 --> 00:41:00,712
♪ every time, baby ♪
714
00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:02,841
[Audience applauds, cheers]
715
00:41:11,677 --> 00:41:15,057
Wait! Wait, please.
I can explain.
716
00:41:18,475 --> 00:41:20,975
[Band playing dance music]
717
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,360
Excuse me,
are you into dancing?
718
00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:33,948
There's no point in it.
719
00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:40,541
You're a pretty girl.
We'd dance. I'd get interested in you.
720
00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:43,423
We go outside in the moonlight.
I get more interested.
721
00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:46,750
I ask you to sign this form,
then, poof! You split.
722
00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:49,337
-Not necessarily.
-So there's no point--
723
00:41:52,843 --> 00:41:56,433
-you mean you would sign it?
-Why not? If everything else was okay.
724
00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:00,853
Why not? Sure.
725
00:42:03,187 --> 00:42:07,107
It's sorta noisy.
You want to skip the dance and go right on to the moonlight.
726
00:42:07,983 --> 00:42:10,153
Oh, sounds promising.
727
00:42:10,736 --> 00:42:12,236
Yes.
728
00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:14,453
Promising.
729
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:32,471
Looks like the captain
is bending the curfew rules just a wee bit.
730
00:42:32,549 --> 00:42:34,679
Bending? I think
they're completely shattered.
731
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:37,970
[Music ends]
732
00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:39,965
[Captain chuckles]
733
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:46,768
Captain, you're the love boat's
answer to John Travolta.
734
00:42:46,855 --> 00:42:48,605
Thank you, Adam. Thank you.
735
00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:50,031
Hey, Vicki.
736
00:42:50,109 --> 00:42:51,819
Oh, Mark.
A marvelous show. I enjoyed it.
737
00:42:51,902 --> 00:42:53,452
Thank you very much.
738
00:42:53,529 --> 00:42:55,819
Well, Vicki?
You want to show me some new steps?
739
00:42:55,906 --> 00:42:58,326
I'm sorry,
but I already promised the next dance to doc.
740
00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:00,159
You did?
741
00:43:01,036 --> 00:43:02,036
She did, she sure did.
742
00:43:02,121 --> 00:43:04,251
[Mark] Oh. Well, uh...
743
00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:06,035
Maybe later, huh?
744
00:43:11,964 --> 00:43:14,724
Well, good for her,
she got even.
745
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,760
There's no reason for her
not to dance with Mark.
746
00:43:16,844 --> 00:43:19,014
He didn't deliberately
try to hurt her.
747
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:22,886
If she felt stronger
about herself there'd be no need for this "getting even."
748
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:26,515
Well, captain, your daughter,
like the rest of us, is only human,
749
00:43:26,603 --> 00:43:28,563
and, you know, sometimes
you're getting over someone
750
00:43:28,647 --> 00:43:31,727
is a tiny bit easier
when you get even a little.
751
00:43:41,910 --> 00:43:43,910
Isaac, have you seen
my crutches?
752
00:43:43,996 --> 00:43:45,996
Um, did you come in with them?
753
00:43:46,081 --> 00:43:47,751
How do you think I got here?
By taxi?
754
00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:49,043
They were right here.
755
00:43:49,126 --> 00:43:51,046
That's the third pair today!
756
00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:54,298
Can you describe 'em?
You know, I better go report these stolen.
757
00:43:54,381 --> 00:43:56,381
Hey, what's going on?
758
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,547
Was he badly hurt?
759
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,547
Well, you know
how clumsy he is.
760
00:43:58,635 --> 00:44:01,055
See, he tripped
and he hit his head and he keeps calling your name,
761
00:44:01,138 --> 00:44:02,388
"Karen, Karen."
762
00:44:01,138 --> 00:44:02,388
Karen!
763
00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:04,433
See, he said it again.
764
00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:04,433
Are you all right?
765
00:44:04,516 --> 00:44:06,686
Well, he's a fast healer.
766
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:08,899
What's this all about?
767
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:08,899
Hmm.
768
00:44:08,979 --> 00:44:11,939
He told me you'd been
in an accident.
769
00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:15,194
Well, it's part of my job.
I'm the love boat liar.
770
00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:15,194
[Isaac] But it's the truth.
771
00:44:15,277 --> 00:44:18,607
Because, of all the accidents
you two have been in, this has been the worst kind.
772
00:44:18,697 --> 00:44:21,027
Because he's been hurt here.
773
00:44:21,116 --> 00:44:22,736
I really don't think, uh--
774
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:25,036
so you two just better
get your act together. You know?
775
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,540
Yeah, you're not getting
your crutches back until you do.
776
00:44:31,794 --> 00:44:33,094
[Laughs]
777
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:44,433
I'm sorry about last night.
778
00:44:44,515 --> 00:44:47,015
Let's never mention
the accident again.
779
00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:49,438
What accident?
780
00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:01,736
-What's wrong?
-[Gulps]
781
00:45:01,824 --> 00:45:03,034
I think I swallowed
your earring.
782
00:45:10,582 --> 00:45:14,042
[Stereo: Soft music]
783
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:25,006
Oh, boy.
I wish I met you the first day.
784
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:27,597
No. We'll have plenty of time
to make up for it.
785
00:45:29,017 --> 00:45:30,597
Getting kind of late.
786
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:33,310
I know.
787
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:35,147
I should get you
back to your cabin.
788
00:45:36,024 --> 00:45:38,444
Oh, I'd rather stay here,
if you don't mind.
789
00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:41,028
[Both chuckle]
790
00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:45,077
You sure you don't mind
about the paper?
791
00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:45,077
No.
792
00:45:50,956 --> 00:45:53,286
It's gone. I must've...
793
00:45:55,377 --> 00:45:56,457
Left it--
794
00:45:57,629 --> 00:45:58,879
it'll just...
795
00:45:59,381 --> 00:46:00,551
Take me a...
796
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:05,104
[Moans]
797
00:46:07,639 --> 00:46:10,059
The hell with my lawyer.
798
00:46:39,922 --> 00:46:41,172
Ah.
799
00:46:41,256 --> 00:46:43,376
We just wanted to thank you.
800
00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:45,047
My pleasure.
801
00:46:45,135 --> 00:46:47,345
You're all very special people.
Thank you.
802
00:46:45,135 --> 00:46:47,345
Mm-hmm.
803
00:46:47,429 --> 00:46:49,679
We'll be coming back.
804
00:46:47,429 --> 00:46:49,679
Oh. Well, in that case,
I'll double our insurance.
805
00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:51,055
[Both chuckle]
806
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:52,561
Till then.
807
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:52,561
So long.
808
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,187
[Julie] Bye.
809
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,187
[Man] So long.
810
00:46:55,270 --> 00:46:56,610
Oh, goodbye.
811
00:46:55,270 --> 00:46:56,610
Bye-bye.
812
00:46:56,688 --> 00:46:58,568
Bye. Thanks for everything.
813
00:46:56,688 --> 00:46:58,568
Yes.
814
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:00,896
Wonderful. So long.
815
00:47:01,944 --> 00:47:03,534
Well, what's your prediction?
816
00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:06,322
Oh, definite marriage.
Think they'll have children?
817
00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:09,736
Whether they want to or not.
818
00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:09,736
[Laughs]
819
00:47:10,827 --> 00:47:12,247
We can go right from here
820
00:47:12,329 --> 00:47:14,209
to my place in Santa Barbara,
spend a week there.
821
00:47:14,289 --> 00:47:16,119
A week?
822
00:47:14,289 --> 00:47:16,119
Or longer.
823
00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:18,588
And no more papers to sign,
none of that.
824
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,879
I think this is the beginning
of something really solid.
825
00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:24,715
Uh...
826
00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:24,715
Anything wrong?
827
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,640
Yeah, I don't know
how to ask you this,
828
00:47:26,718 --> 00:47:29,258
but I'm gonna have to ask
for your signature.
829
00:47:29,346 --> 00:47:31,096
My signature?
830
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:32,931
[Chuckles]
Well, it's not me. It's my silly attorney.
831
00:47:33,016 --> 00:47:36,726
You see...
My last romance cost me a fortune.
832
00:47:41,024 --> 00:47:43,494
Vivian, where have you been
the last two days?
833
00:47:43,569 --> 00:47:45,399
Oh... playing chess.
834
00:47:46,488 --> 00:47:47,528
Bye.
835
00:47:49,992 --> 00:47:51,412
Bye-bye.
836
00:47:49,992 --> 00:47:51,412
Goodbye.
837
00:47:52,327 --> 00:47:53,947
Bye, Vicki.
838
00:47:52,327 --> 00:47:53,947
Bye-bye.
839
00:47:54,037 --> 00:47:56,117
[Vivian] Bye-bye.
840
00:47:54,037 --> 00:47:56,117
Bye.
841
00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:58,876
Well, there goes
the first man in my life.
842
00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:01,133
Well, you'll
get another one.
843
00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:03,091
I've already got one.
844
00:48:03,171 --> 00:48:04,631
You have?
845
00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:07,179
[Chuckles]
846
00:48:07,229 --> 00:48:11,779
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