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1
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,756
♪ Love ♪
2
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,768
♪ exciting and new ♪
3
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:22,942
♪ come aboard ♪
4
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:26,612
♪ we're expecting you ♪
5
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:30,913
♪ and love ♪
6
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:34,779
♪ life's sweetest reward ♪
7
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,998
♪ let it flow ♪
8
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,960
♪ it floats back to you ♪
9
00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:46,422
♪ the love boat ♪
10
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:51,474
♪ soon will be making
another run ♪
11
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,761
♪ the love boat ♪
12
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:58,976
♪ promises something
for everyone ♪
13
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:01,478
♪ set a course for adventure ♪
14
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:07,781
♪ your mind on a new romance ♪
15
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:11,149
♪ and love ♪
16
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:15,447
♪ won't hurt anymore ♪
17
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:19,163
♪ it's an open smile ♪
18
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:23,705
♪ on a friendly shore ♪
19
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:28,172
♪ it's love ♪
20
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:34,264
♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪
21
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,855
Excuse me, sir.
22
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,026
Uh, miss.
23
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,026
Yes?
24
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:55,663
I'm Mr. Heyman.
25
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,120
I just came from my cabin,
and it's the wrong one.
26
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,201
And I'm his wife,
and I'm in the same cabin,
27
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,656
so mine must be wrong, too.
28
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,326
Well, don't worry.
29
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:05,214
I'll take care of everything
right after we sail,
30
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,341
but right now I have to go
out on deck
31
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,088
and welcome the Dallas
cowboys cheerleaders.
32
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,260
Excuse me.
33
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:13,678
Gee, that sounds like fun.
Let's go watch the cheerleaders.
34
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,218
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
35
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,221
Are you crazy?
36
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,062
We have half a million dollars
in diamonds to find.
37
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,518
Come on.
38
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,518
Ohh.
39
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,558
I've been neglecting my reading
for months.
40
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:24,392
I thought
I'd start to catch up.
41
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,107
Hey, me too. This trip, instead
of wasting my spare time,
42
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,358
I thought
I'd improve my mind.
43
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,109
Excuse me, please. One side.
Watch it. Trying to get through.
44
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,691
Hey, relax, man.
Relax. What is it?
45
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,436
Guys, please!
I just want to get through!
46
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,148
Take it easy!
47
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,067
Do you mind, guys?
I just --
48
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,275
gopher, you're an officer
of this ship.
49
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,735
You're supposed to conduct
yourself
50
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,735
with the proper decorum.
51
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,906
Will you please --
52
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,624
listen, gopher, how can you
command respect when you act
53
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:43,754
like an immature kid?
54
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,790
Oh, sorry.
I apologize.
55
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,166
Accepted.
Now what is the big rush?
56
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,263
Nothing. It's just that the
Dallas cowboys cheerleaders
57
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,929
have come onboard,
and I want to get a look.
58
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,969
Wait a minute!
59
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,765
[ Drumroll ]
60
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,390
Ladies and gentlemen,
here they are!
61
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:09,767
Welcome aboard the Dallas
cowboys cheerleaders!
62
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,186
[ Peppy music plays ]
63
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,800
Ohh.
64
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,800
Ohh.
65
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,098
[ Music continues ]
66
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,477
[ Music stops ]
67
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:02,454
Watch the professor.
Maybe you'll learn something.
68
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,043
Hi.
69
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,998
On behalf of the entire ship,
70
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,920
but especially myself,
welcome aboard.
71
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,432
Oh, I didn't expect to find
such a young captain.
72
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,551
Well, actually,
I'm not the captain.
73
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,008
Oh?
74
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,558
I'm the ship's doctor.
75
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,351
My father's a doctor.
76
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,814
Oh?
77
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:33,364
Maybe you know him.
He's about your age.
78
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,729
Nice going, professor.
79
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:41,530
Well, uh, if there's anything
I can do, just holler.
80
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,534
Yee-haw!
81
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,534
Yee-haw!
82
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,534
Yee-haw!
83
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,534
Yee-haw!
84
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,327
[ Laughter ]
85
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,411
[ Gasps ]
Don't look now, Stacey.
86
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:51,166
Isn't that the guy who's been
chasing you all over Dallas?
87
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,173
Oh, no.
88
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,173
I guess
he came to see you off.
89
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,625
Some guys just can't take no
for an answer.
90
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:06,345
Uh-oh. Sherlock Holmes
has picked up your trail.
91
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:16,565
Hi. I'm Mark Scott.
We met in Dallas.
92
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,189
Did Stacey sherman
make the trip with you?
93
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,357
Stacey?
Um, I don't see her.
94
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:26,737
Yeah. Better tie your shoelaces.
You might trip.
95
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,245
Hi, Stacey.
96
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:31,869
Oh, Mark. Hi.
97
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,746
Tying my shoelaces.
98
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:37,843
It was nice of you
to come see me off.
99
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,760
Oh, I'm not seeing you off.
I'm coming.
100
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,391
Excuse us.
101
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,929
Look, Mark, I don't know what
you're trying to prove,
102
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,603
but there is nothing
between us.
103
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,731
There never has been
anything between us,
104
00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:53,228
and there never will be
anything between us, period.
105
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,561
I understand.
106
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,015
Good.
107
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,105
How about drinks on lido deck
in an hour?
108
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,280
Now, bill...
109
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,280
Mm-hmm.
110
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:07,453
At first, Wendy's liable to be
a little standoffish.
111
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,453
She might be
a lot standoffish.
112
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,115
She never did approve of the men
I went with.
113
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,785
Ellen, I've never seen you
quite so nervous.
114
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,464
Now calm down.
Everything's gonna be just fine.
115
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,803
I want you to get to know
each other really well.
116
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:24,299
Your wish,
memsahib, is my command.
117
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:25,973
The sooner
she gets to know you,
118
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,682
the sooner
she'll learn to love you.
119
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,012
Mm-hmm.
120
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,467
And that'll be two of us
that loves you.
121
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,966
Mm-hmm.
122
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,308
[ Both chuckle ]
123
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,694
Listen,
I better go check in.
124
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:37,561
You wait right here.
125
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,647
Don't you move.
I'll be right back.
126
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,032
If you're missing,
I'll cut my throat.
127
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,199
Mom!
128
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,162
Wendy!
129
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,953
Ohhh!
130
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,996
Mom, about bill --
131
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,330
now, honey, now,
give him a chance.
132
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,836
You'll like him.
I know you will.
133
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:03,129
Wait till you meet him.
He's kind, and he's considerate.
134
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,844
He's got a cute sense of humor,
and he's romantic, and --
135
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,295
and here he is.
136
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,675
This is bill Kelly.
137
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,801
My daughter Wendy.
138
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:11,347
Bill!
139
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:13,350
Oh, bill,
welcome to the family.
140
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:15,692
Listen, I have to check in
with the other girls,
141
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,348
but we'll get better acquainted
afterwards, okay?
142
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:20,187
Ohh.
143
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,033
I'm amazed.
144
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:27,199
She actually sounded like
she was happy to meet you.
145
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,580
And I only had my charm
turned on "low," too.
146
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,253
Attention all visitors --
final call.
147
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,040
10 minutes to sailing.
148
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,043
I've got to hand it to you,
captain.
149
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,708
It's going to be
a wonderful show.
150
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,376
Well, thanks to you
and Mrs. Hartnett.
151
00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:47,724
Without your support, there
wouldn't be this charity cruise
152
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,390
or an acapulco orphanage.
153
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,348
Well, the hartnett greeting card
company became successful
154
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,020
catering to those fortunate
enough to have families.
155
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,729
It's only right that we remember
those who don't.
156
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,690
Oh, speaking of families,
aren't we supposed to meet
157
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,611
your new vice president
and his family?
158
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,860
Yes. Paul Turner,
but I don't see him yet.
159
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,992
He's a fine young man
with a wonderful family,
160
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,239
so I understand.
I can't wait to meet them.
161
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,572
Yes. Well, if you have
any problems on the cruise,
162
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:12,117
let me know.
163
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,870
I'll see what I can do.
164
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,791
Oh, captain, I hear you have
165
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,410
the smoothest-running ship
in the fleet.
166
00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:20,117
What could possibly go wrong?
167
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,208
Shh! That's what the captain
of the Titanic said.
168
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,969
Uh, excuse me.
169
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:31,339
My name is Paul Turner, and I
was delayed at the office.
170
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,467
Has, uh --
has my family arrived yet?
171
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,514
Yes, sir,
about 10 minutes ago.
172
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,098
They did?
173
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,812
Yes. Don't you remember --
174
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,892
two ladies
and a boy with brown hair?
175
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:40,847
Ahh.
176
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,437
Brown hair? That's, uh...
177
00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:45,612
That's your son.
178
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,741
Right again. Right.
My son with the brown hair.
179
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,948
Would you mind
pointing him out to me?
180
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,109
I mean, would you mind
telling me where my family is?
181
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,658
They're right over there.
182
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:56,791
There we go. That's right.
Oh, yes, thank you.
183
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:57,949
Excuse me.
184
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:01,077
Excuse me. Are you folks from
the glazer talent agency?
185
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,455
Right.
186
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,455
That's us.
187
00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:06,001
Say, this isn't gonna be
such a bad job after all.
188
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,127
You're cute.
189
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,973
That's nice. Pretend like
we know each other, okay?
190
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,339
Hi, mom. Hi.
Oh, very nice.
191
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:13,966
Um, ha ha ha ha.
192
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:17,143
My name is Paul Turner.
And you are?
193
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,023
Mabel Higgins.
194
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,519
I'm supposed to be playing
your mother.
195
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:21,981
Right. Right.
196
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,351
Would you like
a couple of beers?
197
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:24,647
No, thank you.
198
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,980
Some son
you turned out to be.
199
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:28,476
Wait a minute.
200
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,277
How old are you?
I asked for a 12-year-old.
201
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,162
I can fake being 12.
202
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,199
I'm Lola lachey.
203
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:37,622
I'm playing your wife,
and I don't have to fake it.
204
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,202
Yeah. Well, you're doing
a nice job.
205
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,498
It's really too much.
Too much.
206
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:45,001
Oh, you see, Mr. Hartnett
is my boss.
207
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:48,174
He insists that all his
employees be family men.
208
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,054
I wanted this job real badly,
so I lied on my application.
209
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,802
Anyway, everything was going
good, and then he asked us
210
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,854
to take our family
on this trip, and...
211
00:09:55,928 --> 00:10:00,468
Oh, we get the picture.
Welcome to the family, son.
212
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,518
Mom, son, and, well...
213
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:05,021
Family -- let's go, family.
214
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,824
Nice. Hi, kids.
[ Mumbles ]
215
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:08,518
Whew!
216
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:10,527
Uh, cabin a-216.
217
00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,649
That's below deck,
it's the port side,
218
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:16,697
just aft of the beam.
Downstairs to your left.
219
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:19,202
"Aft of the beam"?
220
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,575
I'm gonna be the world's first
12-year-old girl captain.
221
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,542
Has miss Logan
come onboard yet?
222
00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,252
I haven't seen her,
captain merrill.
223
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,713
Me neither, sir.
224
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:27,842
Are you sure?
225
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,708
Sir, Stella Logan is my all-time
favorite movie actress.
226
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,336
If she came onboard,
I would notice her.
227
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,053
Well, I just want to be safe.
228
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,223
There's no way she can get by
without my recognizing her.
229
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,103
Blond hair, blue eyes, beauty
Mark on the right side.
230
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:43,061
It's not on the right side,
it's on the left side.
231
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,392
Sir, take my word for it --
it is on the right side.
232
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,558
The left side.
233
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,355
The right side.
234
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,355
The left side.
235
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,939
Madam, would you keep out
of this, please?
236
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:53,034
Sir, I know for a fact
it is on the right s--
237
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:56,070
originally.
Then she went to Hollywood,
238
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,565
they changed her name
and moved the beauty Mark.
239
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,237
Come, Vicki.
We have work to do.
240
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,236
Nice meeting you!
241
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,867
It's just the excitement
of seeing you, miss Logan.
242
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,754
He's not the only one
who feels that way.
243
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,922
I'm captain merrill stubing.
Welcome aboard.
244
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,632
Captain stubing,
so happy to meet you.
245
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:15,133
We were all thrilled when you
agreed to be chairperson
246
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,086
for our charity cruise.
247
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,585
My only regret is
you won't be performing.
248
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,257
Well, there's just been
so much work
249
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:24,477
organizing the annual drive
for the orphanage.
250
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,438
Besides, I'm far too rusty.
251
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,849
Stella Logan? Never.
252
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,478
Won't you reconsider?
253
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:36,946
Some other time, but it's
awfully nice to be asked.
254
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:40,119
Well, it looks like it's going
to be a wonderful cruise...
255
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,369
Maybe.
256
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:44,120
Stella! My dear.
257
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,293
What are you doing here?
258
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:50,002
Are you on vacation or hiding
out after your last picture?
259
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,594
Neither one.
260
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:55,299
Oh, captain stubing,
this is Elliot Norman,
261
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,971
the renowned critic
and winner
262
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:02,260
of this year's idi amin
humanitarian award.
263
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,636
Well, everyone has heard
of Mr. Norman --
264
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:08,273
the critic who can kill a play
or career with a single word.
265
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:11,192
Captain, I sincerely hope
that you know more about the sea
266
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,652
than you do about the theater.
267
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:15,111
Yes. Well...
I'll be looking forward
268
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,822
to having both of you
at my table for dinner.
269
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:18,823
Oh, thank you very much.
270
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,994
Thank you, captain.
You're very gracious.
271
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:21,663
Nice to be aboard.
272
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,330
Well,
you've done it again.
273
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,830
You've been aboard
30 seconds,
274
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,871
and already
you've insulted the captain.
275
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,495
Part of my charm, I think --
don't you?
276
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,333
Well, Stella,
now getting back to you.
277
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,048
That last film of yours --
278
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:39,339
how in the world did you pick
anything so utterly worthless?
279
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,175
I've had practice...
280
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,890
Or have you forgotten?
281
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:46,350
I was once engaged to you.
282
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,682
You never had it so good.
283
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:51,847
[ Air horn blows ]
284
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:55,607
[ Indistinct shouting ]
285
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:09,370
We gotta get into the same cabin
we had last time,
286
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,035
and we gotta get our hands
on that lamp.
287
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,344
Ooh, I hope the diamonds
are still in it.
288
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,548
I love diamonds.
289
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,049
"I, I, I."
What about me?
290
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:23,552
"Me love diamonds"?
291
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,056
We should have smuggled them off
on the last trip.
292
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,219
[ Laughs ]
293
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,557
Didn't you see the dock swarming
with customs officials?
294
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,234
They were on to something.
295
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,522
We would have paid a fortune
in duty.
296
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,105
Now...the heat's off.
297
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:40,401
Yeah. You're telling me
the heat's off.
298
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:43,696
Our marriage is as cold as
tomorrow's TV dinner.
299
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:47,031
Look...
300
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,197
We don't cut it together
anymore, okay?
301
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:52,866
So let's get our hands
on the diamonds, divvy 'em up,
302
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,917
and we can each go
our own way.
303
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,460
Huh?
304
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,554
Whatever you say.
305
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,509
[ Knock on door ]
306
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,344
Come in.
307
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:07,096
Hi. I'm sorry I was so abrupt
with you earlier.
308
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,059
Oh, that's okay.
Look, uh...
309
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,929
We took this cruise
a month ago,
310
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,596
and we specifically asked
for the same cabin again --
311
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,606
coral deck, room 101.
312
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,979
Oh, well,
that's the problem.
313
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:19,685
You see,
for the past 4 weeks,
314
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,605
we've been expanding
our crew quarters,
315
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,954
and coral 101
is now gopher's cabin.
316
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,529
Gopher?
317
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:26,624
Our purser.
318
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,279
[ Chuckles ]
319
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,947
That's neat.
320
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:33,785
How do you train an animal
to do that?
321
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:38,252
No. You see, "gopher"
is our purser's nickname.
322
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,875
Oh.
323
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,423
I'm sorry I wasn't able
to help you with this,
324
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:46,087
but I'm sure you'll be
very happy in this cabin.
325
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,256
If there's anything else
I can do --
326
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,755
oh, no thanks.
That's, uh, quite all right.
327
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,649
"How did you train
an animal to do that?"
328
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,309
It's not an animal.
329
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,147
Didn't you hear?
It's the purser's nickname.
330
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,074
Here you are.
Thank you very much.
331
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:08,818
Ahhh.
332
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,661
No, no. No, no, no, no.
333
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,661
It's real comfy.
334
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,825
Oh. Oh. Up, up. Oh, no.
Yeah. Pull. Up. Up.
335
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:17,174
[ Stammering ]
336
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,459
Look, why don't you
and grandma
337
00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:21,963
go inside and let me and daddy
rest a bit, huh?
338
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,666
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
339
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:24,666
You see, uh, ohhh.
340
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,677
Why don't you share the room
with Mrs. Higgins,
341
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,010
and the boy and I
will sleep here?
342
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,224
That's a better idea.
343
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,394
Look, I'm a method actress.
Don't you know what that means?
344
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:33,273
You're a good one, too.
345
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,179
Yes, I know that.
I know what that is.
346
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,307
It means that I have to live
the part I'm playing.
347
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,484
If I'm going to act
the part of your wife,
348
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,863
I have to do all the things
your wife would do.
349
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,030
You do?
350
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,030
I do.
351
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,029
Well, why don't you try
nagging instead?
352
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:50,031
Hey, listen, if we're bunking
together, I gotta warn you --
353
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,025
you snore, I kick.
Got it?
354
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,327
How will I know I'm snoring
if I'm sleeping?
355
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,672
Better wear shinguards
to bed.
356
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,918
[ Glass breaks ]
357
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:01,459
An entire six-pack.
[ Groans ]
358
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,342
I can't take it!
359
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,103
Cute.
360
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,096
Ohh!
361
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,096
Oh, I'm sorry.
362
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,895
Oh, I'm --
no, I'm sorry.
363
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,608
I'm sorry.
364
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,069
I just ran out of the room,
and I didn't, uh...
365
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,279
Sorry.
366
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,109
Oh, it's all right.
No, I'm --
367
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,904
I didn't mean
to bump in to you.
368
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,817
Oh, no. I bumped in to you.
I just --
369
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,566
[ mumbles ]
370
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,028
[ Sighs ]
371
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,408
My fault.
372
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,044
I'm really sorry.
373
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,251
No, no. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
374
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,331
I'm really sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry sorry.
375
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:45,252
Bye.
376
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,257
[ Sighs ]
377
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,589
Wow.
378
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,974
I'm irresistible.
379
00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,141
[ Disco music plays ]
380
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,588
They're worth all the effort
we went through to get them.
381
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,386
They're fabulous.
382
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,470
Yeah. If we could harness
all that energy,
383
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,135
we wouldn't have to
worry about a fuel shortage.
384
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,274
And just think --
this is only a rehearsal.
385
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,771
[ Music continues ]
386
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,548
I think I'm getting
too much sun.
387
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,050
I'm gonna go back to the cabin
and take a nap.
388
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,182
Do you want to join me?
389
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,009
Oh, um...
390
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,215
Why don't you run along?
391
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:21,635
I'll stay and keep an eye
on Wendy. Hmm?
392
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:22,935
Okay.
393
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,193
Attagirl, Wendy.
394
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,122
[ Audience clapping ]
395
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,711
Okay, girls, that's it for now.
396
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,422
[ Music stops ]
397
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,422
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
but you needn't applaud.
398
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,588
Just a simple reverent bow
would be quite enough.
399
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,757
Excuse me, but I think i'd
better get back to work.
400
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,556
See you later.
401
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,889
Well, I think I'd better get
back to work, too.
402
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,935
Oh, please, Stella, not again.
I show up and you leave --
403
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,109
is that gonna happen
all through the cruise?
404
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,568
I hope not.
405
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,648
I mean, I hope you're not going
to keep showing up.
406
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,740
I think I could get used
to this life.
407
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,583
Yeah. Too bad the cowboys
can't play football on a ship.
408
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,739
I don't see
your friend Mark around.
409
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,538
I guess he got the hint.
410
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,292
Don't bet on it.
411
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,127
That guy never quits.
412
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:35,762
He's cute, Stacey.
Why don't you give him a chance?
413
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,091
He just doesn't appeal to me.
There's no chemistry.
414
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:41,717
Maybe you're suffering
from a chemical imbalance.
415
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,425
[ Chuckles ]
416
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,885
No. There's just too much
going on in my life right now
417
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,476
for me to have time
to even think
418
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,101
about getting serious
with a man,
419
00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:50,647
especially him.
420
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:51,901
Mm.
421
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,282
I'd like to set up shop
with your rejects.
422
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,739
Hey, that's a great idea.
423
00:19:56,820 --> 00:20:00,240
You're my friends --
save my life.
424
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,124
All you have to do
is keep him occupied.
425
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,741
Keep him busy
for about three days.
426
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:06,957
That way he doesn't have time
to bother me.
427
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,329
Oh, please.
Come on, please.
428
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,956
Hi. For you.
429
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,504
Isaac's best health-food
drink -- an egg, a banana...
430
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,588
Come on, Mark.
431
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:18,802
Let's see if you're as handsome
when you're wet.
432
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,344
Take my word for it.
433
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,025
Oh, excuse me, captain.
Are you very busy?
434
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:45,657
Oh, no.
Thank you, Jeff.
435
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,664
Excuse me, but could I have
a moment of your time?
436
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,167
I realize that it's
very much off-limits,
437
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,170
but I very much need
your advice.
438
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,671
Oh, you want advice?
439
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,513
Strange, isn't it?
440
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:59,508
Especially coming from someone
who has spent his lifetime
441
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,801
telling other people what
they're doing is wrong.
442
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:04,346
Well, how can I help you?
443
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,469
Well, I'll make it brief.
444
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:11,846
I have written a musical,
and I think it's good.
445
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,187
So far, no problem.
446
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:14,361
Oh, big problem.
447
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:18,819
Now, the leading role requires
an actress of enormous talent.
448
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:23,032
She must have great warmth and
wit, be strong yet vulnerable,
449
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:26,075
glamorous yet real --
450
00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:28,869
well, in other words,
Stella Logan.
451
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,084
And she turned you down?
452
00:21:31,164 --> 00:21:34,584
She doesn't even know
the play exists.
453
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:39,378
But I know that if I asked her
to read it, she'd refuse.
454
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:42,054
Because you wrote it.
455
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:47,314
Stella and I were once...
Very much in love.
456
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,849
And when that ended,
I was very, very hurt indeed,
457
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:53,564
and I was angry.
458
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,685
Perhaps unconsciously, I looked
for flaws in her performance,
459
00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,863
maybe found some
that weren't even there,
460
00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:02,402
and I wrote about them.
461
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:07,407
Well, in that case, I couldn't
blame her for turning you down.
462
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,042
I wish you luck.
463
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:14,369
I would stand a chance if
someone else gave her the play,
464
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,918
said it was from some --
oh, I don't know --
465
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,632
some young playwright.
Then she might read it.
466
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:24,433
Especially if that someone were
a person she respected,
467
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:27,049
trusted, looked up to.
468
00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:30,217
Did you ever sell refrigerators
to eskimos?
469
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,767
No...
470
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,730
Air conditioners.
471
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,995
We gotta find that gopher guy.
472
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,579
I'm getting nervous
about the lamp.
473
00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:56,794
Relax.
Do you like my dress?
474
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,455
I bought it for the cruise.
475
00:22:58,543 --> 00:22:59,963
So what else is new?
476
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,625
Oh, my shoes and my purse.
477
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:04,343
Don't you ever get tired
of shopping?
478
00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:06,644
Well, what else
is there to do?
479
00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:10,178
You're always out with the guys
or sitting in front of the TV
480
00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:12,603
watching football or baseball
or --
481
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:14,312
what's that other one --
482
00:23:14,392 --> 00:23:16,772
the one with the sticks
and the skates and the ice?
483
00:23:16,853 --> 00:23:18,153
It's hockey!
484
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,560
Are you sure?
485
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,816
Hey, gopher!
486
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:25,361
Hey.
There's our guy.
487
00:23:25,445 --> 00:23:27,405
He's got the lamp.
488
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:28,989
You, uh...
489
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:31,494
Think you can handle him?
Huh?
490
00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:33,156
Sure.
491
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:36,865
Besides, if I'm going to be
single again,
492
00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:39,457
I'd better get used to it.
493
00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:40,343
Anyway, there I was,
494
00:23:40,418 --> 00:23:42,958
fresh out of college
with just a diploma --
495
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:45,626
you've been monopolizing
the entire conversation.
496
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:47,795
I want to get to know
your family better.
497
00:23:47,884 --> 00:23:50,684
The family would love to get to
know you better, too, Ted.
498
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:53,432
Uh, Fred.
499
00:23:58,728 --> 00:23:59,688
Son.
500
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,311
Yes, dad?
501
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:04,358
Clean up your act
or swim home.
502
00:24:04,442 --> 00:24:07,322
How about some dessert?
503
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:09,824
We haven't even had
the soup yet.
504
00:24:09,906 --> 00:24:11,236
Right. That's right.
505
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:13,584
Well, we're all
such creatures of habit,
506
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:16,200
it's nice to change things
around every now and then,
507
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,158
don't you think?
508
00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:18,827
No, I don't think.
509
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:24,705
Hi.
510
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,546
Oh, hi.
511
00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:28,011
Hey, the rest of the girls
aren't here yet,
512
00:24:28,091 --> 00:24:29,591
but if you'd like,
I can show you to your table.
513
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:31,926
Oh, thanks, Julie.
I'll wait for them here.
514
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,762
Okay, but watch out
for flying butter.
515
00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:35,677
Who's he?
516
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,851
Hi. Guess who.
517
00:24:39,936 --> 00:24:42,726
Mark. Whoopee.
518
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:44,574
I reserved an intimate table
for two.
519
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:47,069
Oh, I have to eat with
the rest of the girls. Sorry.
520
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,072
Well, I talked to
your director, Suzanne.
521
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,704
She said it's okay.
522
00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:52,120
Mark, I told you.
523
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,529
There you are.
524
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:56,577
We've been looking
all over for you.
525
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:57,701
I was --
526
00:24:57,787 --> 00:24:59,577
you're not trying to stand us up
for dinner, are you?
527
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,424
Dinner?
528
00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:02,418
Dinner?
I thought you'd never ask.
529
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,380
We'd love too.
530
00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:13,598
Hi.
531
00:25:13,678 --> 00:25:15,928
Does that mean
you're free for dinner?
532
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,894
Oh, if you don't mind eating
at an intimate table for two.
533
00:25:18,975 --> 00:25:21,435
Well, actually, I'd rather be
with a bunch of guys,
534
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:23,059
but what has to be
has to be.
535
00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:26,146
Oh, I bet you're
a real heartbreaker.
536
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:26,943
Moi?
537
00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,488
I am very impressed
with you, Wendy.
538
00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:34,622
You girls really work hard.
539
00:25:34,699 --> 00:25:37,739
It's rigorous,
but we've got to stay in shape.
540
00:25:37,827 --> 00:25:41,407
All this talk about exercise
is making me hungry.
541
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:44,458
Wendy, is that all you're
having -- a salad?
542
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:48,132
When I was little, she had to
bully me to eat my Greens.
543
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:49,463
Now, that's not true.
544
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,838
I never bullied you --
I bribed you.
545
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,465
[ Laughter ]
546
00:25:53,551 --> 00:25:56,141
Here -- have a little taste
of fettuccine.
547
00:25:56,221 --> 00:26:00,351
There's not enough room in my
uniform for a little fettuccine.
548
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:02,643
But it's just a mouthful.
549
00:26:02,727 --> 00:26:04,687
Mother, I'm in training.
550
00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:11,494
I do think Wendy knows
what's best for her.
551
00:26:11,569 --> 00:26:14,739
All you need is one look
to tell that.
552
00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:17,985
But there's no reason
you shouldn't eat.
553
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:19,736
You're not in training.
Hmm?
554
00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:30,505
It was a very small part, but it
was my first Broadway show,
555
00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:33,378
and I stood on the stage
and went absolutely blank.
556
00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:35,716
Oh, it must have been
a horrible feeling.
557
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:37,052
Oh, the worst.
558
00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:40,017
I couldn't remember
one single word.
559
00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:42,728
I remember.
I reviewed the show.
560
00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,269
Oh, yes.
561
00:26:44,352 --> 00:26:48,902
And you said my performance
was "unforgettable."
562
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:51,362
That was rather clever
of me, I thought.
563
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,993
Oh, very clever of you.
564
00:26:53,069 --> 00:26:55,699
I can't begin to tell you
how thrilled I was
565
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:58,450
to be the butt of one of
your little jokes.
566
00:27:02,245 --> 00:27:06,245
Yes, well,
uh, speaking of plays,
567
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:07,883
there's a young writer I know
568
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:10,549
who learned
that you were coming onboard,
569
00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:13,378
and he asked me if I
could get you to read his play.
570
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:15,175
He wrote it especially for you.
571
00:27:15,258 --> 00:27:19,178
Oh, captain...
572
00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:23,772
Well, I'd love to, but, really,
I have too much work to do.
573
00:27:23,850 --> 00:27:26,100
I'd be delighted to read it,
captain --
574
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:28,686
well, I mean, that is,
if the young playwright
575
00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:30,572
can take
professional criticism.
576
00:27:30,648 --> 00:27:33,028
No. I wouldn't put anyone
through that.
577
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:34,239
I'll read it.
578
00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:36,399
You're very kind, miss Logan.
579
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,658
I know how much
he'll appreciate it.
580
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:52,587
[ Disco music plays ]
581
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:09,808
I don't know how they remember
all those different steps.
582
00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:12,266
Disco's not that hard.
You want to try it?
583
00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:14,937
The last new dance I learned
was a waltz.
584
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,236
You know, you really hooked
yourself up
585
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,110
with an old stick-in-the-mud.
586
00:28:19,197 --> 00:28:21,197
Lady, I would rather
waltz with you
587
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,122
than boogie
with anyone else.
588
00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:23,951
Ohh.
589
00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:26,285
Dipping is such fun.
590
00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:28,161
Hey! How come you two
aren't out there dancing?
591
00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:29,868
We're waiting
for the dipping music.
592
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,458
And what about you?
593
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:33,093
Nobody's asked me.
594
00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:35,709
Well, I can remedy that
right now.
595
00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:37,507
Would you care to boogie?
596
00:28:37,590 --> 00:28:38,970
I would love to.
597
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:41,470
And I promise you
the very next waltz.
598
00:28:59,362 --> 00:29:00,452
Would you excuse me?
599
00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:01,660
Sure.
600
00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:05,490
Excuse me.
601
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:07,117
Mark!
Mark, let's dance.
602
00:29:07,203 --> 00:29:08,503
Sure.
603
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,330
I thought he'd never leave.
604
00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:12,745
[ Music continues ]
605
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:33,685
Excuse me.
606
00:29:33,771 --> 00:29:36,691
Would you ask the band
to play a waltz?
607
00:29:36,774 --> 00:29:38,234
A waltz? Sure.
608
00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:41,028
Oh, it's on me.
I'm a Strauss freak.
609
00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:42,992
Hey.
610
00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:57,168
[ Slurping ]
611
00:30:02,091 --> 00:30:03,591
[ Blows ]
612
00:30:03,676 --> 00:30:04,546
Ah!
613
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,346
Knock it off!
614
00:30:06,429 --> 00:30:08,599
Don't blame me.
It's hereditary.
615
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:11,641
May I have another zombie?
616
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:11,641
No.
617
00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:13,846
A Cuba libre?
618
00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:13,846
No.
619
00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,767
What about a Mai Tai?
620
00:30:15,855 --> 00:30:17,935
Why do you drink so much?
621
00:30:18,024 --> 00:30:21,284
It all started
when vivien Leigh
622
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:24,911
beat me out for
"gone with the wind."
623
00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:26,739
Hi! How's everybody
doing tonight?
624
00:30:26,824 --> 00:30:28,084
Not bad, cutie.
625
00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:29,869
How about yourself?
626
00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:30,953
Uh, good.
627
00:30:31,037 --> 00:30:33,287
I like sailors.
I remember --
628
00:30:33,373 --> 00:30:34,923
uh, ciao. Ciao. Ciao.
629
00:30:34,999 --> 00:30:35,789
Ahoy.
630
00:30:35,875 --> 00:30:37,085
Stop it! Stop it!
631
00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,588
I want you all to behave
yourselves.
632
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:39,880
[ Slurping ]
633
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,263
Now cut that out!
634
00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:43,379
All right.
You can have a...
635
00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:43,876
A what?
636
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:45,217
...cup of coffee.
637
00:30:45,301 --> 00:30:48,391
Oh, what a thrill.
638
00:30:48,471 --> 00:30:49,811
Excuse me.
639
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,270
Anchors aweigh.
640
00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:59,107
Hi, Isaac.
641
00:30:59,190 --> 00:31:01,320
Can I have a --
642
00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:03,780
oh, wow!
643
00:31:03,861 --> 00:31:06,241
An "oh, wow"?
644
00:31:09,158 --> 00:31:10,448
That was fantastic.
645
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:12,115
It was fantastic?
646
00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:13,873
And I don't even know
what I put in it.
647
00:31:13,955 --> 00:31:14,825
What?
648
00:31:14,914 --> 00:31:15,874
Huh?
649
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,667
Make that a double.
650
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:18,790
Oh.
651
00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:25,970
Hey, hey.
652
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:28,470
There's the gopher.
653
00:31:30,221 --> 00:31:32,641
Oh...
654
00:31:38,354 --> 00:31:39,654
Hi.
655
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,481
Good evening.
656
00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:45,816
Well, not yet, but it could be
if I'm lucky.
657
00:31:45,903 --> 00:31:48,113
I beg your pardon?
658
00:31:48,197 --> 00:31:51,327
I've had my eye on you
all day.
659
00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:53,489
You're kidding.
660
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:56,618
Did anyone ever tell you you're
a very attractive man?
661
00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:57,706
You know something?
662
00:31:57,790 --> 00:32:01,290
This must be my night, because
that girl over there --
663
00:32:01,377 --> 00:32:04,007
she just called me "cutie."
Hmm?
664
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:09,178
Well, she has good taste,
but she'll never get you back.
665
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,930
Oh, we leaving?
666
00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:13,182
Bill is fabulous.
667
00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:15,524
I could dance with him
all night.
668
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,850
You bring out the teenager
in me, young lady.
669
00:32:17,935 --> 00:32:19,975
It looks like you need
a drink, too.
670
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,023
I'll order us some.
How about you, honey?
671
00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:24,686
How about a geritol fizz?
672
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,686
I'll be right back.
673
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:31,068
Oh, mom, bill's everything
you said he was.
674
00:32:31,157 --> 00:32:32,867
He really is perfect.
675
00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:34,040
Did I say that?
676
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:37,208
Uh-huh.
677
00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:40,708
All right. He's perfect, but
perfection isn't everything.
678
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:44,052
I bet he snores, or worse yet,
cracks his knuckles,
679
00:32:44,128 --> 00:32:46,708
and I know
how you love that.
680
00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:50,218
Did you notice his teeth?
I bet you he has caps.
681
00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:54,181
When you love someone, those
things don't matter.
682
00:32:54,263 --> 00:32:56,223
He's a Pittsburgh steelers
fan.
683
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:57,517
Oh, hey, I happened --
684
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,730
you promised you wouldn't say
anything.
685
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:04,691
Well, for one more dance,
I'll forgive and forget.
686
00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:08,494
Okay. Pittsburgh...
I'm awful sorry.
687
00:33:22,417 --> 00:33:23,917
There you go.
688
00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:25,551
Thank you very much,
miss Logan.
689
00:33:25,628 --> 00:33:26,548
Thank you.
690
00:33:26,629 --> 00:33:27,919
Hello.
691
00:33:26,629 --> 00:33:27,919
Hi.
692
00:33:28,005 --> 00:33:29,585
And what is your name?
693
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:31,934
Vicki, and I've seen every one
of your movies.
694
00:33:32,009 --> 00:33:33,299
How old are you, Vicki?
695
00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:34,596
12.
696
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:37,429
You must have seen one a week
since birth.
697
00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:39,135
Thank you again, miss Logan.
698
00:33:39,225 --> 00:33:40,685
My pleasure.
699
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,268
[ Music stops ]
700
00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:46,766
[ Applause ]
701
00:33:49,318 --> 00:33:51,738
Thank you.
That's my bar tab.
702
00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:54,781
You never were a very big
tipper, were you?
703
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:58,946
Now, why did I have to run in
to you on this cruise? Why?
704
00:33:59,036 --> 00:34:02,116
Call it fate, kismet.
705
00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:04,456
Rotten luck.
706
00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:09,302
Stella, darling,
seriously, honestly...
707
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:14,260
Have you no feeling
for me left at all?
708
00:34:14,343 --> 00:34:16,303
Yes.
709
00:34:16,387 --> 00:34:21,477
My analyst calls it
deep-seated hatred.
710
00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:23,639
Well,
you're luckier than I am.
711
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:27,188
My analyst says I'm still
hopelessly in love with you.
712
00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:33,815
Is it so unbelievable?
713
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:36,485
Oh, I know the classic third act
is boy gets girl,
714
00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:39,084
and you and I are beyond
the boy-and-girl stage,
715
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:44,120
but we still could have
our happy ending, you know?
716
00:34:44,207 --> 00:34:45,747
Elliot --
717
00:34:45,833 --> 00:34:48,133
oh, I know I've written
some rotten things
718
00:34:48,211 --> 00:34:49,711
about you in the past,
719
00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:52,006
but, dear, you must learn
the difference
720
00:34:52,089 --> 00:34:54,629
between the personal
and the professional.
721
00:34:54,717 --> 00:34:56,717
Now, for instance,
I have a friend
722
00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:59,223
who has this beautiful
thoroughbred horse --
723
00:34:59,305 --> 00:35:01,305
a most exquisite animal,
perfectly wonderful,
724
00:35:01,390 --> 00:35:03,350
but I doubt
if I'd bet on him.
725
00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:05,904
[ Laughing ] In fact,
a friend of mine said
726
00:35:05,978 --> 00:35:09,818
that he couldn't win a race
if his tail were on fire.
727
00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:13,189
Is that what you're
comparing me to -- a horse?
728
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:14,897
Oh, but that's
a bad analogy.
729
00:35:14,987 --> 00:35:16,237
So that's what I am --
730
00:35:16,322 --> 00:35:18,662
a horse that can't run
with his tail on fire?
731
00:35:18,741 --> 00:35:19,621
Now, darling --
732
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:21,870
I'd like to see
your tail on fire.
733
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:24,583
As a matter of fact,
I'd like to strike the match.
734
00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:40,389
What are you looking at?
735
00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:44,061
You're so handsome.
I can't wait to see your cabin.
736
00:35:44,141 --> 00:35:45,891
Right. Well, actually,
it's not much of a cabin.
737
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:48,557
We'd probably be more
comfortable in yours.
738
00:35:48,646 --> 00:35:52,356
Oh, no! I mean --
I mean, going to your cabin
739
00:35:52,441 --> 00:35:55,281
makes me feel
much more romantic.
740
00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:59,281
Well, on second thought,
you'll probably love it.
741
00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:06,624
Right.
742
00:36:14,672 --> 00:36:16,592
Look, if you'd rather go
to your cabin --
743
00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:18,184
oh, no, no.
744
00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:23,639
This has everything --
everything I could ever want.
745
00:36:26,851 --> 00:36:29,021
Don't you want to go
freshen up first?
746
00:36:29,103 --> 00:36:30,403
Freshen up?
747
00:36:30,479 --> 00:36:32,109
Uh-huh.
748
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:34,480
Right. Right.
I was gonna do that.
749
00:36:44,076 --> 00:36:45,156
Sorry to be so long.
750
00:36:46,662 --> 00:36:48,962
Oh, is there
a problem with that?
751
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,960
Here. Wait a minute.
Maybe the bulb's loose.
752
00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:55,303
Oh, it's beautiful.
753
00:36:55,379 --> 00:36:56,759
So are you.
754
00:36:56,839 --> 00:36:58,339
Very unusual.
755
00:36:58,424 --> 00:36:59,804
Yeah.
There are only two like it.
756
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:03,144
Two? Oh. You're lucky
to have a pair.
757
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,181
Well, I only have one left.
758
00:37:05,264 --> 00:37:06,474
Oh.
759
00:37:06,557 --> 00:37:08,767
Yeah.
I swapped it with Isaac...
760
00:37:08,851 --> 00:37:10,021
Isaac?
761
00:37:10,102 --> 00:37:11,772
...for this.
762
00:37:11,854 --> 00:37:15,784
Yeah. It's much better
for reading in bed...
763
00:37:15,858 --> 00:37:17,988
And other things.
764
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:19,149
I'm bushed.
765
00:37:19,236 --> 00:37:21,106
Me too. Bushed.
766
00:37:19,236 --> 00:37:21,106
Ohh.
767
00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:23,117
Yeah. I'm really bushed.
768
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,659
Well, thanks
for a lovely evening.
769
00:37:24,742 --> 00:37:26,702
Whoa! Wait a minute.
770
00:37:26,786 --> 00:37:29,996
If you like, we can just use
that for reading, you know?!
771
00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:31,331
Norma!
772
00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:35,210
Keep in touch!
773
00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:40,591
Capt. Stubing:
Welcome to puerto vallarta.
774
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,835
The temperature is a glorious
80 degrees.
775
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:44,387
Have a nice day.
776
00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:47,099
All set?
777
00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:48,981
Be ready in a minute.
778
00:37:49,058 --> 00:37:50,058
I'm writing Suzanne a note
so she knows where I'm going.
779
00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:51,732
Oh.
780
00:37:51,811 --> 00:37:55,521
Wendy, this is very sweet
of you, but you shouldn't.
781
00:37:55,606 --> 00:37:57,016
I want to do it.
782
00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,188
It's my gift to both of you.
783
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:03,197
Look, how often does a girl get
a chance to buy wedding rings
784
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,030
for her mother and father?
785
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,576
Oh, I know she's gonna love it,
and so will I.
786
00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:08,870
You're terrific.
787
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:11,873
Are you sure mother
will be sleeping late?
788
00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:14,036
Well, with the way
she was dancing last night,
789
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:16,205
her legs won't wake up
until noon.
790
00:38:16,293 --> 00:38:19,053
Good. We'll be back
before she knows we're gone.
791
00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:21,220
I can't wait to see her face
when we surprise her.
792
00:38:21,298 --> 00:38:22,838
This is
for Suzanne Mitchell.
793
00:38:22,925 --> 00:38:24,175
Thank you.
794
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,681
47...
795
00:38:31,767 --> 00:38:33,887
...48...
796
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,108
...49...
797
00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:37,768
...50...
798
00:38:37,857 --> 00:38:39,437
...51...
799
00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:41,105
...52...
800
00:38:41,193 --> 00:38:43,073
...53...
801
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:44,744
...54...
802
00:38:44,822 --> 00:38:46,412
...55...
803
00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:48,370
...56...
804
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,041
You guys act like you've never
seen a woman before.
805
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,580
Oh, those aren't just women,
those are works of art.
806
00:38:53,664 --> 00:38:55,084
Works of art?
807
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:57,416
I think you all ought to have
your heads examined.
808
00:38:57,501 --> 00:39:00,091
I don't care if my head's
broken, as long as my eyes work.
809
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:02,801
...64...
810
00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:04,932
I think
they're falling for me, man.
811
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:05,839
Oh, yeah?
812
00:39:05,926 --> 00:39:07,886
Yeah. Look at how hard
they're breathing.
813
00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:09,060
Oh, really?
814
00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:13,268
Hey, isn't that Roger staubach,
the Dallas quarterback?
815
00:39:13,350 --> 00:39:14,730
Where?!
816
00:39:14,810 --> 00:39:17,810
[ Chuckling ]
817
00:39:17,897 --> 00:39:20,187
If you'll excuse me.
818
00:39:22,985 --> 00:39:24,605
You see the two guys
with the gopher?
819
00:39:24,695 --> 00:39:26,405
The one with the specs
is the doctor,
820
00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:27,699
but the other one is Isaac.
821
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:29,452
He's the one
that's got our lamp now.
822
00:39:29,533 --> 00:39:31,123
How are we gonna get
into his room?
823
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,832
Leave that to me --
duck soup.
824
00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:37,003
No thanks.
I just had breakfast.
825
00:39:37,083 --> 00:39:40,093
...83...
826
00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:41,129
...84...
827
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:42,132
Hi, texi.
828
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:42,132
Hi, Stacey.
829
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,133
Hi.
830
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,295
Hi. Are you one of the new
cheerleaders now?
831
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,474
No. They said I don't have
the legs for it.
832
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:51,932
Mark taught us this routine.
We may use it in a show.
833
00:39:52,014 --> 00:39:53,684
Okay if I join you?
834
00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:56,096
Sure, if you think
you can keep up with us.
835
00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:57,475
Sure.
836
00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,191
...93...
837
00:39:59,271 --> 00:40:01,151
...94...
838
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,862
...95...
839
00:40:02,942 --> 00:40:04,612
...96...
840
00:40:04,693 --> 00:40:06,323
...97...
841
00:40:06,403 --> 00:40:07,993
...98...
842
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,372
...99...
843
00:40:09,448 --> 00:40:11,158
...100...
844
00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:13,542
Okay. That's it.
845
00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:16,459
Thank you, Stacey.
846
00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:21,499
You keep going to 93 --
that's where you came in.
847
00:40:21,585 --> 00:40:23,835
Let's all count for her.
848
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:25,301
...1...
849
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:26,671
...2...
850
00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:29,007
That's good,
and keep counting.
851
00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:30,683
...4...
852
00:40:30,761 --> 00:40:32,681
...5...
853
00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:35,023
All right, everybody.
Let's go get a tall, cool drink.
854
00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:35,889
Looks good, Stacey.
855
00:40:38,435 --> 00:40:40,185
Bye, Stacey.
856
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,061
Bye-bye.
857
00:40:42,148 --> 00:40:43,518
...8...
858
00:40:43,607 --> 00:40:45,317
...9...
859
00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:46,901
...10...
860
00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:48,566
...11...
861
00:40:48,654 --> 00:40:50,574
Keep going.
862
00:40:50,656 --> 00:40:52,156
...13...
863
00:40:52,241 --> 00:40:53,871
...14...
864
00:40:53,951 --> 00:40:55,371
...15...
865
00:40:55,452 --> 00:40:57,412
Whatcha reading?
866
00:40:57,496 --> 00:41:03,706
"The making of the president."
Sounds like hot stuff.
867
00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:05,384
Can I read it
when you're finished?
868
00:41:05,462 --> 00:41:06,632
Yeah, sure.
869
00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:18,886
Boy, you sure are
a fast reader, honey.
870
00:41:20,477 --> 00:41:21,437
Miss...
871
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,060
Please don't get up
872
00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,977
and don't interrupt me
for the next 30 seconds.
873
00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:29,696
My name is Paul Turner, and i'm
single, and I'm in good health.
874
00:41:29,778 --> 00:41:31,528
I don't have any scars
or disability,
875
00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:33,414
and, uh, well,
I'm a college graduate,
876
00:41:33,490 --> 00:41:36,080
and I have a good job, and I've
saved a couple of dollars.
877
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,790
I've got a great
record collection.
878
00:41:37,870 --> 00:41:39,210
I'm madly in love with you.
879
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:40,408
[ Giggles ]
880
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:43,418
[ Sighs ] I'm sorry.
You must think I'm --
881
00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:44,500
wonderful.
882
00:41:44,585 --> 00:41:46,415
Yeah, I knew you'd sa--
883
00:41:46,503 --> 00:41:48,093
what did you say?
884
00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:50,592
I said
I think you're wonderful.
885
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:51,934
Do you mean that?
886
00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:53,049
Mm-hmm.
887
00:41:53,135 --> 00:41:55,095
Would you have dinner
with me tonight?
888
00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:58,559
Oh, oh, yes.
I'd love to.
889
00:41:58,641 --> 00:41:59,601
You would?
890
00:41:58,641 --> 00:41:59,601
Uh-huh.
891
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:00,893
That's nice.
That's great.
892
00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:02,646
That's great and nice.
That's...
893
00:42:04,897 --> 00:42:06,607
What's the matter?
894
00:42:08,901 --> 00:42:11,241
[ Sighs ]
I'm sorry.
895
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,240
I can't have dinner
with you tonight.
896
00:42:13,322 --> 00:42:15,242
Ohh.
897
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:17,834
W-W-Wait a minute.
You see that family over there?
898
00:42:17,910 --> 00:42:19,330
They're friends of mine
from the old neighborhood,
899
00:42:19,411 --> 00:42:21,081
and they're kind of poor.
I said I would look after them.
900
00:42:21,163 --> 00:42:23,463
Maybe we could meet
after dinner?
901
00:42:23,540 --> 00:42:26,960
You're not only wonderful,
you're a good person, too.
902
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:29,304
Yes.
After dinner here on deck.
903
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:30,630
It's a date.
904
00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:33,634
Oh, I've got to run.
Bye.
905
00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:35,217
Bye. Bye-bye.
906
00:42:35,302 --> 00:42:35,842
Bye.
907
00:42:35,928 --> 00:42:37,808
Bye.
908
00:42:37,888 --> 00:42:38,888
Bye.
909
00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:41,393
Bye.
910
00:42:41,475 --> 00:42:42,425
This is exciting.
911
00:42:42,518 --> 00:42:44,438
You know, I've been doing
a little writing myself.
912
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,810
Oh, yeah?
913
00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:48,267
But I never thought anyone
would write a book about me.
914
00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:49,647
My publisher will love it.
915
00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:52,783
I've written three books
about bartenders,
916
00:42:52,861 --> 00:42:54,661
each one a bestseller.
917
00:42:54,738 --> 00:42:55,988
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
918
00:42:56,073 --> 00:42:58,533
[ Chuckles ]
919
00:42:58,617 --> 00:43:02,157
So, uh, tell me some more
about your life, huh?
920
00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:04,156
Well, once the president
of the United States
921
00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:05,828
came up to the bar
while I was working.
922
00:43:05,916 --> 00:43:07,206
Do you want to hear about that?
923
00:43:05,916 --> 00:43:07,206
Yeah, yeah.
924
00:43:07,293 --> 00:43:09,383
Okay.
Now, the president --
925
00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:12,131
I'll tell you which one
in a minute --
926
00:43:12,214 --> 00:43:14,174
he walks right over to me,
927
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:18,048
but before he could order, two
guys rush in, guns drawn --
928
00:43:18,137 --> 00:43:20,507
say, don't you want to write
this down?
929
00:43:20,597 --> 00:43:21,467
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
930
00:43:21,557 --> 00:43:23,977
Say, haven't you got
any better light in here?
931
00:43:24,059 --> 00:43:25,559
You know,
my eyes aren't so great.
932
00:43:25,644 --> 00:43:26,524
No. Sorry.
933
00:43:26,603 --> 00:43:29,863
Anyway, the president jumped
over the bar --
934
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:32,190
you know what you need
in here?
935
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:34,146
You need a nice lamp --
936
00:43:34,236 --> 00:43:37,866
you know, maybe something
with sort of a sailor flavor.
937
00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:40,738
That's right -- my lamp!
938
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,746
Oh, I had one,
but I loaned it to doc
939
00:43:43,829 --> 00:43:45,369
while he was getting
his cabin redecorated.
940
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:47,116
Ah.
941
00:43:47,207 --> 00:43:48,997
Well, that should do it.
This book will be dynamite.
942
00:43:49,084 --> 00:43:50,714
But I'm right in the middle
of a story.
943
00:43:50,794 --> 00:43:51,754
Oh, that's great.
944
00:43:51,837 --> 00:43:53,707
Always leave the readers
wanting something more.
945
00:43:53,797 --> 00:43:55,667
I always end my books
that way.
946
00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:57,428
In the middle of a story?
947
00:43:57,509 --> 00:44:01,179
Yeah. Then I start the next book
with the end of that story.
948
00:44:01,263 --> 00:44:02,723
It's a writer's trick, huh?
949
00:44:02,806 --> 00:44:05,056
I wonder why Charles dickens
never did that.
950
00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:06,232
Hey, it's never too late.
951
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:08,400
Tell your friend Charlie
to try it, huh?
952
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:24,996
[ Ragtime music plays ]
953
00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,353
Marvelous.
954
00:44:49,728 --> 00:44:52,228
Great, fellas! If you do this
this well tomorrow night,
955
00:44:52,314 --> 00:44:54,074
you'll be a smash!
956
00:44:54,149 --> 00:44:55,569
All right.
957
00:44:54,149 --> 00:44:55,569
Thanks a lot.
958
00:44:55,651 --> 00:44:56,941
See you later.
Okay.
959
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,647
Well, hello.
960
00:44:58,737 --> 00:45:01,447
Gosh, I'd give anything to be
able to tap-dance like you.
961
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:03,582
Well, you can.
It's really very easy.
962
00:45:03,659 --> 00:45:04,829
Really?
963
00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:07,910
Of course.
Tap-dancing just looks hard.
964
00:45:07,996 --> 00:45:10,456
You know,
the captain is right.
965
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:13,631
Why don't you show us
a couple of steps?
966
00:45:13,710 --> 00:45:15,630
Me?
967
00:45:13,710 --> 00:45:15,630
Uh-huh.
968
00:45:15,712 --> 00:45:18,132
[ Chuckles ] No.
I-I don't think so.
969
00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:21,135
I mean,
it's been a long time, and...
970
00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:25,178
You wouldn't mind, then, if I
gave you a couple of pointers?
971
00:45:25,264 --> 00:45:26,934
Would you really?
972
00:45:27,015 --> 00:45:28,425
I'd love to.
973
00:45:28,517 --> 00:45:30,017
Well, look, would it be
all right if I just watched?
974
00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:31,192
Oh, no.
No, sirree.
975
00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:32,980
You're going to join
this group.
976
00:45:33,063 --> 00:45:35,983
Hal, give us a little
"tea for two."
977
00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:38,646
[ "Tea for two" plays ]
978
00:45:38,735 --> 00:45:40,145
There you go.
979
00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:46,695
Around.
980
00:45:46,785 --> 00:45:48,865
Back.
981
00:46:07,389 --> 00:46:09,179
[ Music stops ]
982
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:13,725
You did it!
983
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:13,725
Well, thank you very much.
984
00:46:13,812 --> 00:46:16,732
How about that?
And with only just one lesson.
985
00:46:16,815 --> 00:46:17,685
Very impressive.
986
00:46:17,774 --> 00:46:19,154
You really think so?
987
00:46:19,234 --> 00:46:20,574
Well, I would say --
988
00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:23,412
lesson number 2 --
don't look for criticism.
989
00:46:23,489 --> 00:46:25,819
You'll get plenty
without asking.
990
00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:27,528
I was only about to suggest
991
00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:30,038
lemonade for the entire
corps De ballet.
992
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,040
If that includes me, super!
993
00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:34,042
I think this is a good time
994
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:36,544
for me to read
that new play you mentioned.
995
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:37,837
I pass.
996
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,340
Sorry.
997
00:46:39,421 --> 00:46:41,841
My loss.
Shall we?
998
00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:50,562
You've made
her entire year.
999
00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:52,681
She's a wonderful girl.
1000
00:46:52,768 --> 00:46:56,808
You'd make mine if you'd appear
in the show tomorrow.
1001
00:46:56,897 --> 00:46:59,017
Well, you're wonderful, too,
1002
00:46:59,107 --> 00:47:02,437
but you'll have a good enough
year without me.
1003
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:06,905
Wow.
1004
00:47:14,581 --> 00:47:15,581
Excuse me.
1005
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:18,086
Aren't you Ms. Mitchell, the
cheerleaders' director?
1006
00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:19,458
Yes.
1007
00:47:19,545 --> 00:47:21,585
I'm trying to locate my
daughter, Wendy ames.
1008
00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:23,422
Mrs. Ames, I heard
you were onboard.
1009
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:24,757
So nice to meet you.
1010
00:47:24,841 --> 00:47:26,591
Thank you.
Nice to meet you.
1011
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:29,177
I know Wendy's
not supposed to eat much,
1012
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:32,143
but she hasn't shown up for
either breakfast or lunch.
1013
00:47:32,224 --> 00:47:35,234
Well, she told me she was taking
a quick run into town.
1014
00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:36,560
She wrote me a note.
1015
00:47:36,645 --> 00:47:38,935
She said she'd be back
any time now.
1016
00:47:39,022 --> 00:47:40,482
I wouldn't worry, Mrs. Ames.
1017
00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:42,606
Wendy's in good hands.
She's with bill.
1018
00:47:42,693 --> 00:47:45,403
Oh...
1019
00:47:45,487 --> 00:47:47,197
So that's where he is.
1020
00:47:54,329 --> 00:47:55,909
"Please marry me, Lisa.
1021
00:47:55,998 --> 00:47:58,538
"I love you more
than words can say.
1022
00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:01,245
You're on my thoughts
all night and day."
1023
00:48:01,336 --> 00:48:04,416
Well, Turner, this is
the first time I've seen you
1024
00:48:04,506 --> 00:48:05,916
without your family.
1025
00:48:06,008 --> 00:48:08,548
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Hartnett,
uh, family --
1026
00:48:08,635 --> 00:48:10,255
yes, well,
they're taking a nap --
1027
00:48:10,345 --> 00:48:11,635
snack --
they're having a snack.
1028
00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:15,642
"Marry me, Lisa,
I love you"?
1029
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:18,686
Oh, yes. Uh, oh, uh --
1030
00:48:18,770 --> 00:48:20,610
well, that's a new idea
in greeting cards --
1031
00:48:20,689 --> 00:48:21,189
personalized.
1032
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:24,483
Oh? Not bad.
1033
00:48:24,568 --> 00:48:28,108
It might create an inventory
problem, but we're on vacation.
1034
00:48:28,196 --> 00:48:30,316
We'll talk about that
when we get back.
1035
00:48:30,407 --> 00:48:32,277
Go to your family.
1036
00:48:32,367 --> 00:48:35,327
I will.
I do -- [ Mumbles ]
1037
00:48:35,412 --> 00:48:38,252
Imagine --
working on vacation.
1038
00:48:38,332 --> 00:48:40,462
Can I pick employees,
or can I pick 'em?
1039
00:48:40,542 --> 00:48:41,342
You can pick 'em.
1040
00:48:41,418 --> 00:48:43,838
That's what I said --
I can pick 'em.
1041
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:44,960
You can pick 'em.
1042
00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:46,837
Yes, I pick 'em.
1043
00:48:49,092 --> 00:48:51,512
It was really sweet of you
to come here, miss Logan.
1044
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,465
Well, I know
the next couple of days
1045
00:48:53,555 --> 00:48:55,055
are going to be rather hectic,
1046
00:48:55,140 --> 00:48:57,310
so I just wanted
all of you girls to know
1047
00:48:57,392 --> 00:48:59,692
how much I've enjoyed
working with you.
1048
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:03,820
That goes double
for all of us.
1049
00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:04,859
Well, Stacey.
1050
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,362
Miss Logan.
1051
00:49:06,443 --> 00:49:09,033
The girls will fill you in
on the details,
1052
00:49:09,112 --> 00:49:12,242
but, basically, I just came
to say thank you.
1053
00:49:12,324 --> 00:49:14,454
Are you all right, Stacey?
1054
00:49:14,534 --> 00:49:16,204
Yes, fine. Perfect.
1055
00:49:16,286 --> 00:49:18,326
Well...
1056
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:24,003
...if you need me...
1057
00:49:24,086 --> 00:49:27,546
Thanks, miss Logan.
1058
00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:29,221
Are you sure you're okay,
Stacey?
1059
00:49:29,299 --> 00:49:31,049
Yeah. Couldn't be better.
1060
00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:33,224
Listen -- you guys have been
great the way you've taken Mark
1061
00:49:33,303 --> 00:49:34,893
off my hands.
1062
00:49:34,971 --> 00:49:36,261
Oh, no problem.
1063
00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:38,428
It's probably ruining the trip
for you.
1064
00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:40,887
Maybe I should spend some time
with him.
1065
00:49:40,977 --> 00:49:43,227
Don't be silly.
He's good company.
1066
00:49:43,313 --> 00:49:45,233
Besides,
what are friends for?
1067
00:49:45,315 --> 00:49:47,725
Thanks.
Where's Allie?
1068
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:50,738
She's out for a stroll
with Mark.
1069
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:53,951
Oh, so you're taking turns
with him?
1070
00:49:54,032 --> 00:49:57,122
No. Allie's taking
all the turns now.
1071
00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:03,917
[ Chuckling ]
1072
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,420
Uh, excuse me.
1073
00:50:05,502 --> 00:50:06,382
Yes, ma'am?
1074
00:50:06,461 --> 00:50:08,921
I saw you talking to my daughter
last night.
1075
00:50:09,005 --> 00:50:11,585
I wonder if you happened to have
seen her in town?
1076
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:14,085
Wendy -- she has kind of
short golden brown hair.
1077
00:50:14,177 --> 00:50:16,757
Wendy! Right -- the Dallas
cowboys cheerleader. Right.
1078
00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:18,927
Yeah. I did see her
in town with a man,
1079
00:50:19,015 --> 00:50:21,135
and I think you're gonna lose
a daughter.
1080
00:50:21,226 --> 00:50:22,886
They were trying on
wedding rings.
1081
00:50:27,524 --> 00:50:28,944
Mom!
1082
00:50:32,529 --> 00:50:35,119
Sorry.
We kind of got waylaid.
1083
00:50:35,198 --> 00:50:37,658
I'm afraid our quick cab ride
into town turned into
1084
00:50:37,743 --> 00:50:41,463
one cab ride, two buses --
no, three buses --
1085
00:50:41,538 --> 00:50:45,578
and a very undignified
donkey ride.
1086
00:50:45,667 --> 00:50:48,167
I'm beginning to think
that I'm the donkey.
1087
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:52,133
Oh. We didn't mean to upset you,
but we just couldn't help it.
1088
00:50:52,215 --> 00:50:54,295
I understand.
1089
00:50:55,886 --> 00:50:58,306
She doesn't understand
the half of it.
1090
00:50:58,356 --> 00:51:02,906
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