Original subtitles

Judge Bosco: * Hey, wake up Steve: * Huh?

* I changed your water. You're just sleeping *

* Get up, goat pig

-* Oh-whoa, oh-oh -* Get up, goat pig

[ Scatting ] * What?

* What's that?

* Is that the new straw?

* Yes

* I brought you a flock of straw *

-* Freeoo batch -* Um, fresh

* When will you let me go, Judge Bosco? *

* You see a man on his knees *

* Pleadin' with you

* Covered in piss and grabbin' a zis *

* A robe you're wearing, oh *

* Is this a robe you're wearing? *

* Abazo * Order in the court

* I don't answer to these questions *

-* Oh-ayy -* Let's hug first

* You're so soft for a judge *

* I didn't become a judge for nothing *

* Thank you so much for comforting me *

* Quite sure you just took my keys *

* Say, "Hi," to Ratman for me *

* Will do

[ Hushed ] * I got her keys, haa

* Nothing, I just

* I said, "I got your keys" *

-* You have my keys? -* Yeah

* Give them back * No. You don't know it, though *

* I don't know * You don't know I got your keys *

* I suspected it * It was a swipe, I snuck it in *

* You're always worried, but you didn't check *

* You know, you trust me 'cause I'm blind *

* Judge Bosco trusts the disabled *

That's what you say, right, every day? *

-* I'm not gonna say that -Okay.

* Can you say it, though, for me? * * I can't say that

* Just say, "Judge Bosco trusts the disabled" *

-* I can't -* Just say it

* Judge Bosco, me, I trust the disabled *

* Can you say, "differently-abled"? *

Can you say, "Jus gomo mee on my moni *

* I trust the differently-abled" *

-* Definitely not -* Bye-bye

* Oh, goodness

* Uh, session 11C

* How are you feeling?

-* I feel forlorn -Good.

* Do you think it's 'cause no one loves you in your life? *

* Why would you say that?

* I'm just making an observation *

-* People love me -* Do they actually love you?

* Do you believe that they love you? *

* How do you know if someone truly loves you? *

* I mean, have you ever, never, ever had anybody die for you? *

* No * Well, I don't think anyone ever loved you, then *

* Charlene loves me

* What do you mean nobody loves me? *

* Charlene loves me. We got married *

* I can't quantify her love * Did she love you

* when she was screwing all those other guys? *

* You say that like it was so many *

* It was one, maybe two * * No

God damn it. * No

* What are some physical symptoms of sadness, doctor? *

* Doctor? * Have you been losing weight? *

* No, but dry, cracked feet? *

* That's not a symptom

* Maybe your skin is just trying to get away from you *

* All right, I have a little reward for you *

* Yes, ma'am * I have a cloth with some lukewarm water *

* It feels so good. I don't deserve that, though *

* Close your eyes. I don't want it to get in your eyes *

* Bad * Don't move. I'm just gonna put a little handcuff on you *

* Connected to the thing

* Why? Please

* I need to go home

* And make love to my stay-at-home husband *

-* You don't have to -- -* But I'll be right back

* I'll be back in a little bit * * You don't need to tell me

* Stuff like that * Look, I've been staring

* At your unattractive penis for a long time *

* I need to remember what a good penis looks like *

* Let me go have a quickie, and I'll be right back *

**

* Then I knock over the TV

* Then I keep going on

* Open the door, Ratman's over there sleeping *

* Better not wake him up

* Better not wake him up

[ Ratman snores ]

* I find a little office

* What is going on here?

* Holy shit

* I'm going through files -- what's this? *

* Oh, my Curtis, Curtis is in -- *

* Curtis is -- I grab the phone *

* Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep beep-ity beep-beep *

-Charlene speaking. -* Charlene, I gotta be quiet

* I'm sneaking around the goat farm *

Why are you at the goat farm? * You're not surprised

Oh, right. Steve, oh, my goodness.

I thought -- I'm gonna come clean. There was a murder pact.

* This paper says, "Fake murder pact" *

* Did they rope you into that? *

Uh, I signed my name on some shady documents that,

if actions have consequences, I am probably done for,

which is why I am very surprised that you are alive.

* Dang it. I'm so attracted to you *

* You beautiful woman

I am coated in a thin film of sweat

out of both anxiety and attraction

just from hearing the words of murder

coming out of your mouth.

* But we gotta help Curtis

Yeah, let's put these bygones behind us.

* Wh--What -- What are you -- What are you doing right now? *

I'm at a café. Well, hang -- Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.

I said no arugula on this panini.

* What word did you just say? *

This needs to go back. * Can you say that word again? *

-Arugula? -* One more time

-Aru-- Is it -- Arugula. -* God, I love you

I did not ask for spicy lettuce on my panini.

-* What is spicy lettuce? -Arugula.

* I've got all the information about where Curtis is *

* And would you believe it, Ratman's in on the game *

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

* But you know who we both love so much? *

* Spell it with me "C" *

"A."

* No, it's spelled "C-U" *

Oh, okay. Sorry.

I thought you were talking about, um, Carl.

* "C"

"U." * "R"

"T." * "I"

* Sssss

* That spells Curtis I know where he is *

* I got this Excel spreadsheet *

* covered in a Pentecostal star for Satan *

If you have a flash drive on you,

yeah, can you put that Excel file onto the flash drive?

* I could send a fax

* Are you by fax? You're in luck.

This café is a Fax Café,

and every table has its own fax machine.

* You think that's real funny, don't you? *

[ Laughs ] Every table in this café only seats one

because of the room needed for the fax machine.

Wait a second.

A pentagram has five sides.

Curtis has six letters in his name.

So that just doesn't make any geometrical sense.

I'm very smart.

-* What's 5 plus 6? -11.

* What is the name of an 11-nighted boot? *

A monodecahedron.

* Curtis is being held in the old factory *

* By the Shriner Temple

Right, in a prison that is shaped like a monodecahedron.

* I can't believe it

[ Engine starts ]

[ Groans, coughs ]

Okay. Sorry. That was heartburn.

[ Tires screech ]

[ Crash! ]

Okay. I'm at -- I'm at entrance 7.

* I'm just about to disable the power on the trip zone *

Okay. I'm -- I'm scanning. I'm heat scanning.

* Do you have the silencer on? *

The si-- The silencer?

* I'm gonna drop out of radio communication *

* You sambose in there

I'm going to bounce your signal

off of the lead pipes in the corner,

which will transmit it into room 19.

* Oh, my God, you got him. He fell down *

Okay. Curtis should be able to hear it now.

* Steve? * Curtis, we're coming for you *

* Okay, drop the communication, Charlene * Okay.

* We're at the front door * Okay. Hang on.

Guys, hang on just one second, okay?

I'm sorry. Oh, they're coming in?

Okay. -* Okay

I'm so sorry, but I have to go, like, right now.

Okay? * Okay I'll save him without you *

Oh, really? No, guys. I'm serious. I got to hang up.

All right? -* Okay, see ya

* You set my brother free

* Wait, sorry, what are we doing? *

-* Steve? -* Curtis

* I know your guys' plans

* and I know you put a lot of energy *

* into keeping me out of the picture *

* and I lost -- -* A lot of energy?

* What do you know? -* I know everything

* I have a bucket of hot water that I'm gonna throw at you *

* Ouchie * How are you gonna stop me? *

* You noticed my cool blind-person stick, right? *

* Well, check this out -- It's actually a javelin. *

* Whoa, could I check it out? *

* 'cause I wanna see it, too *

* No * I javed her

* Oh, Curtis -* You hit her?

* Yeah, slicey doo-doob

* Could you please call 911? *

* I hate hearing things like this *

-* My leg really hurts -Oh, no. It's okay.

All right. Sorry. There is somebody else in the room.

Don't worry about it. -* Oh, you're back, Charlene

Yep. Just got in. -* Please

* Please, there's just a lot of blood *

[ Sniffs ] * Steve

* Curtis, it's me, Steve * Who are you?

* You smell like Charlene, but you smell like goats *

-* I'm Steve -And me Charlene.

* I'm the real Steve, I was replaced with goats *

* Let me see your eyes

* Oh, God, I did that *

-Okay, guys. -* I did that to you

I have -- I have to leave the room. I don't know.

Oh, you know what? -* Where you going, Charlene?

My one last option is the men's room.

Hang on. Okay.

* Curtis, I've got these files, and I snuck in here *

* With perfect stealth

* Let me see those files

* Am I being set free? -Okay, good.

* Curtis, it's worse than I ever thought *

* What's going on? * You remember that tube

* That comes out of the back of your head? *

* No. What are you talking about? *

* This one. This big, ribbed tube *

* What the heck is that doing there? I never saw that *

* It's been pumping pink sludge out of you *

* Since we were 6 years old

* What are you talking about? I never saw that *

* Curtis, the sludge is your sadness *

* And I didn't think much of it before *

Are you reading this? -* It's all right

* I don't need to think about it *

* It says, "Power of the county runs on Curtis sadness" *

* I'm not even that sad

* I've never spent an entire day in bed *

* I cry sometimes, but the moments pass *

* It's 'cause they suck it out of you *

So, look, Curtis, it's true. At first, I didn't know --

[ Toilet flushes ] Jesus Christ.

* Charlene, get off the toilet *

* and come back into me where you belong *

* Throughout my life I've been sleeping *

* with the people that you love *

* And I don't think it's my fault *

* So they set up all of my old flames? *

* You know that Muscle Milk I used to eat? *

* It was full of hormones that make me horny *

God damn it. Hang on.

* Charlene, do you feel okay? *

I haven't pressed the button.

It just keeps going off by itself.

Oh, you know what? It's because of the detector,

and I'm, like, standing near it.

It keeps thinking I'm walking away from it.

-* Charlene -I'm just going to stand still.

* I'm gonna reach and grab the -- *

* Rip off the Band-Aid off, baby * * No, no, no, no

* Don't do it * Let me take it out

* Oh-oh-oh * Charlene, can you get out of the bathroom? *

* I don't -- I don't see the but-- release *

No. I hear blood-curdling screams

coming from the other building. [ Toilet flushes ]

Okay. I-I can't do this. One second.

* Charlene, just be sort of for once in your life *

* I found the button

* You guys just wanna be a group again? *

* Wanna look out for each other and love each other? *

I think after all this, that's really all that we have left.

* I guess I agree with that *

* Yeah -* What am I hungry for?

* I've been eating pellets for the last three hours *

* Honestly, I just want some ice cream *

* Just cold, creamy ice cream *

* Pistachio

* Sounds stupid, but it's the truth *

* Let's go

* We've been through so much, Curtis *

* I'm glad the adventure's over *

-* I know -* Maybe we'll do it again

* I know

* You look good

* I know

* Charlene is a beautiful wife you have *

* I know, I know, I know, I know, I know *

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