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1
00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:29,839
I wonder if I ought to give
up betting on the horses?
2
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,239
I don't believe it. I should give
up losing, just bet on winners.
3
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:37,079
Maybe I'd start betting on the dogs?
4
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,859
Oh, now I believe it.
5
00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:41,399
You see, I didn't quite
understand at first.
6
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,399
I thought he was flirting
dangerously with common sense,
7
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:48,559
but he isn't. Are you? No.
You had me worried for a minute.
8
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,139
The world is changing that fast,
you don't know what to rely on.
9
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:55,819
But if he abandons stupidity,
that's my last certainty gone.
10
00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:59,339
Well, my last certainty's
gone an' all - come in fifth.
11
00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:02,979
Well, you won't be able to put so
much on dogs - they're smaller.
12
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,660
So that'll save you some money.
13
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,899
I think I fancy an ice lolly.
14
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:13,659
I mean, take dovetail joints.
Well, where are they?
15
00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:17,539
I don't know, you tell us,
you just invited us on the tour.
16
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:21,539
Well, there aren't any.
Well, how the hell can we see them, you daft pillock?!
17
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,819
Well, that's the whole point,
they've disappeared.
18
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:27,859
Another standard of
quality gone from our lives.
19
00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,099
Nah, people never
looked at them any road.
20
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:33,279
Do you imagine that's what they
used to do on Sunday afternoons?
21
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,419
Say, "Ey-up, let's go
out for an hour and have a look at some dovetail joints"?
22
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:42,559
You didn't have to go looking
for them! They knew they could rely on them being there.
23
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,019
They knew their
drawers wouldn't fall to pieces if somebody gave them a bit of a tug.
24
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:50,959
Oh, I see, so that's what they
used to do on a Sunday afternoon.
25
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,239
There's no good
talking to some people.
26
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,759
Serves me right for
lowering me class barrier.
27
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,119
You lowered it all right when you
went out with Mabel Duckingfield.
28
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,179
I never went out with Mabel
Duckingfield! You did! Never!
29
00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:04,199
I saw you together on the clay bank!
30
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,799
Well, she foisted herself onto
my bird-watching expeditions but I never invited her.
31
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,099
Come off it! It's perfectly true!
32
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:14,380
I'd get out there, all keyed
up for a peep at a wimple...
33
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:19,599
..there'd be a rustle in the bushes
and, damn me, Mabel Duckingfield.
34
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,959
And would she hell as lay quiet
and let me poke twigs in her hat?
35
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,739
And it wasn't funny!
36
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:29,399
I bet she cost me more, that girl,
ornithologically speaking...
37
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,779
You what? He means that while he
was out with Mabel Duckingfield,
38
00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:36,319
he never got much more than a
glimpse of a few tail feathers!
39
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,200
Ey-up, it's good enough for a start!
40
00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:46,519
I see Gordon Hardcroft's lass
has got herself wed.
41
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,919
Setting a good example to her father.
42
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,119
Maybe he'll have a go now.
43
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,919
How long's he been
living with Jinny now?
44
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:59,339
Well, not long after the first
buzz bomb he moved as lodger into her spare bedroom.
45
00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:02,039
Though I'm not suggesting
there was any connection.
46
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,379
Knowing Gordon, I bet it weren't
long before there were a connection!
47
00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:10,179
You're worse than women
with the gossip, you two.
48
00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:12,939
Well, we've not had so much practice.
49
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:16,979
Ah! They buried old man
Flowers last Thursday then.
50
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:20,300
I didn't even know he were dead.
Well, I suppose he must have been.
51
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,579
Hey, Norm, I wonder
what it's like being dead.
52
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:30,219
Well, no worse than living in
bad digs, say, in Manchester.
53
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:33,480
Don't worry about it - if old man
Flowers can do it, anybody can.
54
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,219
You should try the
consolations of religion.
55
00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:40,139
Who wants to spend all
of eternity in a chapel?
56
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:43,219
And half of them not
decorated, any road.
57
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:45,779
No, I'm not going to go
if I can't take my ferrets.
58
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:50,879
Well, look at this! Little
Billy Aubrey's dead and buried.
59
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,839
I don't believe it.
60
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,659
Makes you think. Certainly does.
61
00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:59,840
I wonder what they're
doing with his motorbike.
62
00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:13,619
What the devil do you want
a motorbike for? Birds. Eh?
63
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,439
You can always get birds
if you're on two wheels.
64
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,499
I'm not saying that we do want a
motorbike, it's just that if we did,
65
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:24,839
then we'd want a slow old thing like
Billy's, just to potter about on.
66
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,019
It's something we could all drive,
67
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:30,039
and with the price of
petrol being what it is...
68
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,619
We'd get 70 to a gallon.
69
00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:33,159
And that's only accidents.
70
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,799
Haven't you seen it?
71
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,979
It's not your gleaming speed bird,
it's more your ruptured duck.
72
00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:43,459
So you're going to
take advantage of the widow in her hour of bereavement?
73
00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:47,039
Haven't you seen Billy's
misses either? Annie Aubrey?
74
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,560
Oh, you've a treat in store!
75
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,779
Call yourself an insurance man?
Now, don't come here,
76
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:56,339
you silly faggot, till
you've got a fistful of brass.
77
00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:59,179
Get to it quick enough, now's
the time to get some rich old hat.
78
00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:04,719
Coming here with daft tales - it's
risks he's running, not insurance!
79
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,759
Sorry to hear about your Billy,
Annie. Why, what's he done?
80
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,679
He's dead. Oh, aye.
81
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,500
I'll never get used to it. Come in.
82
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,320
Get on, get in.
83
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,540
Get on back.
84
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,280
That's it. All right, off we go.
85
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:22,500
What the bloody hell
do you think you're doing? You might have killed...
86
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,900
Help!
87
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,639
Come on!
88
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,059
Ey-up, come on!
89
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:52,459
Hey, you know you're not supposed to
be in a place where they serve food.
90
00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:56,019
Not since you've had
that skin complaint.
91
00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,879
I've just about had enough
of you, you little layabout!
92
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,420
Don't come in here with...
93
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:06,219
Don't come in here
with jokes like that!
94
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:09,319
I weren't joking, Ivy, love.
I like laying on your chest.
95
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,800
Oh, get out!
96
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,519
What are you grinning at?!
97
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:18,199
They're all crackers, you know,
him and his dozy friends.
98
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,559
But don't you worry,
it's not contagious.
99
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,839
They don't leave out
nasty on the crockery.
100
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,879
Like a tip.
101
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,919
Cyril, you can't withdraw
from motorcycling circles
102
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,699
before we've even
got the engine started.
103
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:33,959
You've just nearly
killed me in free wheel!
104
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,559
Ah, that were nowt.
105
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,479
We can do better than that.
I believe it,
106
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,139
I believe it.
I've seen the writing on the wall.
107
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:45,459
What's it say? "Beware of little
scruffy twots in the saddle."
108
00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:48,939
A midget cowboy?
Hey, I wonder who that could be?
109
00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:52,299
Listen, Cyril, it'll be different
when we get the engine going.
110
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:55,019
It will and all - I shall be
watching from a safe distance.
111
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,539
No, but you see, when we've
got the engine going,
112
00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,199
then you've got more control.
113
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:04,579
Now we'll have a bit of a practice on
some waste ground and then we'll all get kitted out in the suitable gear.
114
00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:05,740
Like bandages?
115
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,279
All right, steady how you go,
love, watch the road.
116
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,800
Hate anything to run
over your little puddings.
117
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:19,279
Ya big flossy, messing
around with the girls!
118
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,979
It's a proprietor's duty to
foster good customer relations.
119
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:26,339
I know what sort of relations
you'd foster given half a chance.
120
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,599
Not yours for a flamin' start. Oh!
121
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,919
Hey, what's up with him then?
Playing hard to get?
122
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,159
Nah, he's just getting nervous.
And all we're trying to do is to
123
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,039
introduce him to the freest
thing on the road today.
124
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,879
Not that horrible bird
you used to knock about with?
125
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:44,819
No, we've just bought little
Billy Aubrey's old outfit.
126
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:47,479
His old outfit?
What, the Royal Navy?
127
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,579
No, you daft Elsie,
his motorbike and sidecar!
128
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:54,399
Oh, I thought... I knew we'd lost
a few ships, but bloody hell!
129
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,559
WE'VE just bought?
130
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,919
Well, I told you I would owe you
my share till I get a windfall.
131
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:03,219
And their Annie has just given us
all Billy's old riding gear,
132
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,639
and funnily enough,
it's just about my size.
133
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:10,199
Which is more than can be said
for that horrible bird that you used to knock about with.
134
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,679
Ruby?
The one built like a forklift truck.
135
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,819
Oh, Pauline. What was Ruby like?
136
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:18,980
Oh, she had black hair.
Oh, I remember, on her legs.
137
00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:22,359
No, she wore it in a bun.
138
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,639
She often had it trailing
in her soup and all!
139
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,999
Hello, the Black Tulip!
140
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,759
Davo Cogden! Ey-up, Davo.
141
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,639
Whose is that motorcycle
combination parked outside,
142
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,600
halfway across flaming High Street?
143
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,639
How's your mum, David?
Yes, tell me, is this the same Davo Cogden who attended
144
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,879
evening classes with me last winter,
145
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,899
a course of six lectures on Western
philosophy and a wine tasting?
146
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:53,039
We had just defeated
the Japanese at Mandalay.
147
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,679
I was having a bath in a
steel helmet when a voice said,
148
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,179
"I know that face."
149
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:03,399
And there he was,
covered in Japanese blood but smiling, Davo Cogden.
150
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,180
You've got two seconds to move it.
Fast!
151
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,379
Some might say it's a
powerful sexual symbol,
152
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,319
but I think
the wheels are too short.
153
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,479
Can you see his carburettor?
154
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,100
Only when I bend down.
155
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:27,000
It's all gone dark.
Somebody put the lights on!
156
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,740
Oh, me tongue!
157
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:54,719
Come on inside.
He can't even put the hat on.
158
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,640
Get in, get in.
159
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,639
Now, just take it easy.
160
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,299
I hate biting my tong.
161
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,099
Your "tong"? It's a tongue.
162
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,519
I don't care what it is,
I hate biting it.
163
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,379
I'm surprised you should say that,
164
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:16,499
I was only thinking
how well you were doing it.
165
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:19,159
It weren't me that were doing
it, it were thee. Rubbish.
166
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,299
Time you could control it.
167
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:24,779
You can't have a great slippery
lump rolling about your mouth.
168
00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:26,999
Make it behave.
It does behave normally.
169
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,199
Well it can't be doing
if it's leaping in the way when your teeth are going past.
170
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,479
Must be a terrible life,
being a tongue, having to keep your head down all the time.
171
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,399
Must be terrible life being his
tongue, with all the rubbish he
172
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,399
keeps sliding down it. What rubbish?
173
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,499
All those rotting great sandwiches
of yours, for a start.
174
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:47,319
What must he make of them? He must
think he's being buried alive.
175
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,479
Get off!
What do you think you're doing?!
176
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,159
Well, you are tough, aren't you?
177
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,359
You're the test pilot,
nerves of steel.
178
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,779
You're going to nip out there
any minute and zoom off
179
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,060
into the wild blue yonder.
180
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:00,580
I'm only going to
drive round the bloody yard!
181
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,060
That's right, on you get.
182
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:17,859
Hang on, hang on.
183
00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:21,680
Not much good trying to
start it without turning on the petrol, is it?
184
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,240
OK, go on.
185
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,719
Wait a minute, I want the goggles.
186
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,660
I can't drive it
without the goggles.
187
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,420
Hang on, wait a minute. That's it.
188
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,839
Oh, me nose!
189
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,760
Me nose! Me nose!
190
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,099
Take him inside.
191
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,700
Oh, dear! Oh, me nose, oh, me nose!
192
00:13:06,573 --> 00:13:10,732
I have never seen such
a blasted performance.
193
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,652
You were only going round the yard,
194
00:13:12,653 --> 00:13:14,852
so what do you want
goggles for anyway?
195
00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:17,832
Because it's dangerous if you
don't wear them on a motorbike,
196
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:23,012
you might get grit in your eyes.
But you're not planning on driving and having your eyes open, are you?
197
00:13:23,013 --> 00:13:24,932
Not till you've got
used to the damn thing.
198
00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:28,332
Goggles! I suppose you'd like us
ready with a fire tender.
199
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,072
But you're entirely without
a parachute, you know,
200
00:13:31,073 --> 00:13:32,192
if you have to bail out.
201
00:13:32,193 --> 00:13:34,752
Oh, it's all right for you, you've
got your feet on the ground now.
202
00:13:34,753 --> 00:13:39,633
You just wait till I get
you back in that sidecar.
203
00:13:41,173 --> 00:13:44,472
Oh, oh, oh... Has it stopped?
204
00:13:44,473 --> 00:13:48,012
Well, it doesn't seem to be ticking.
Maybe you forgot to wind it.
205
00:13:48,013 --> 00:13:50,032
That's not very likely.
206
00:13:50,033 --> 00:13:53,672
He keeps poking about with it.
Leave it alone! You'll wear it out.
207
00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:56,932
It's all right for you,
you didn't get a clonk, did you?
208
00:13:56,933 --> 00:13:59,552
I can tell you,
conks is painful things.
209
00:13:59,553 --> 00:14:01,592
It made my eyes water,
tell you that much.
210
00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:05,773
Yes, it's funny that. I mean,
if you bang your knee, it doesn't make your toes leak.
211
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,832
And what about acupuncture?
212
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:12,933
Oh, it'll be all right. He'll have
a repair outfit in the tool kit.
213
00:14:14,533 --> 00:14:17,473
Are you ready for the off then,
Biggles?
214
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:36,132
Please excuse my poor blind friend.
215
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:38,732
I thought that you fighter
pilots were supposed to be
216
00:14:38,733 --> 00:14:42,032
bung full of carrots, what's all
this about seeing in the dark?
217
00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:44,232
Well, the goggles
have all got misted up.
218
00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:45,933
Well, leave them up there now.
Come on.
219
00:14:49,093 --> 00:14:51,672
Come on, come on. Sit on it.
220
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,032
Sit on it!
221
00:14:54,033 --> 00:14:55,493
All right! Go on.
222
00:15:00,113 --> 00:15:01,573
Switch her on.
223
00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:05,973
Stand back, stand back.
224
00:15:11,473 --> 00:15:12,933
Tickle the carburettor.
225
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:38,993
I told you tickle it,
not bump it!
226
00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:08,533
Well, now that you've
discovered where you really need your goggles, what next?
227
00:16:11,093 --> 00:16:14,712
I think my welly must have slipped.
228
00:16:14,713 --> 00:16:17,092
But I think I've got
the knack now though.
229
00:16:17,093 --> 00:16:19,812
Well, I wouldn't be too
sure after a clout like that.
230
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:23,013
Before you start boasting,
I would do a bit of stocktaking.
231
00:16:24,613 --> 00:16:27,212
That made me feel
quite sick for a moment.
232
00:16:27,213 --> 00:16:30,312
I've been feeling
sick since we started.
233
00:16:30,313 --> 00:16:34,632
I've never seen such a
maladjusted performance. Have you put a jinx on it?
234
00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:36,212
I haven't put owt on it.
235
00:16:36,213 --> 00:16:39,972
Don't worry, it's wearing off now.
236
00:16:39,973 --> 00:16:43,592
Oh, I'm getting my rag up now,
I tell you! Steady, steady...
237
00:16:43,593 --> 00:16:46,132
I'll show that black oily
pillock next time, I tell you.
238
00:16:46,133 --> 00:16:50,592
I don't think I can go through
all that again. The suspense you feel, it's killing me.
239
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:54,292
Don't worry, don't worry,
it's all coming back to me.
240
00:16:54,293 --> 00:16:57,992
Ah, we can see that. The same
kind of mechanical idiocy
241
00:16:57,993 --> 00:17:01,092
that broke my clockwork
Napoleon at school.
242
00:17:01,093 --> 00:17:03,232
Oh, Cyril, don't you bear a grudge?
243
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:06,052
Three and 11, it cost me,
in them days.
244
00:17:06,053 --> 00:17:08,992
Well, I only wanted to see
what he'd got up his jacket.
245
00:17:08,993 --> 00:17:11,472
It had two blasted
holes where its keys went.
246
00:17:11,473 --> 00:17:16,032
Oh, so that's why he always had
his hand in there. It must have been useful for storing his plans.
247
00:17:16,033 --> 00:17:19,552
You turned him on
and he pointed towards Moscow.
248
00:17:19,553 --> 00:17:21,972
But you went and bust his spring.
249
00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:26,312
And now he's stuck eternally
with his hand pointing down the front of his trousers.
250
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:29,632
Who would want to buy
an old Napoleon any road?
251
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,672
You were just trying to creep
round the history teacher.
252
00:17:32,673 --> 00:17:37,252
Anybody else with three and 11 would
have bought themselves a motorboat,
253
00:17:37,253 --> 00:17:41,252
and then with the change,
they could have had a quick sail around Audrey Singleton.
254
00:17:41,253 --> 00:17:45,552
Well, never mind about motorboats,
what about motorbikes?
255
00:17:45,553 --> 00:17:49,813
Are you ready to leap
fearlessly into the saddle and away then, Flash?
256
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:03,072
I am ready when they are.
Well, get off with you then.
257
00:18:03,073 --> 00:18:05,733
Are you coming? Yes,
when we hear that engine start.
258
00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,592
Will he be all right, do you think?
259
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,912
Oh, he shouldn't come
to much harm out there.
260
00:18:15,913 --> 00:18:18,152
Well he hasn't done so
bad up to now, has he?
261
00:18:18,153 --> 00:18:20,232
Probably better
with nobody staring at him.
262
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:24,212
I wonder which way he's pointing,
I can't remember. Does it matter?
263
00:18:24,213 --> 00:18:25,932
Well, it does if she
gallops away with him.
264
00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:28,872
I understood they had
something called steering.
265
00:18:28,873 --> 00:18:32,132
There are things you can twist,
aren't there? Like your spine.
266
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:34,252
We're not going to pamper him.
267
00:18:34,253 --> 00:18:36,872
We're not going out there
to bother him anymore.
268
00:18:36,873 --> 00:18:40,052
Two Scotches, please. We've
carried him all over the place.
269
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:42,612
It's time he had a bit
of personal responsibility.
270
00:18:42,613 --> 00:18:46,572
Yes, I agree, Cyril, but
what you've got to remember is that he's not all that bright.
271
00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:48,292
Well, you could say that,
272
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,573
but I prefer to think of
him as downright stupid.
273
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:57,492
In compensation, God, in his wisdom,
gave him a low natural cunning,
274
00:18:57,493 --> 00:19:01,253
but would that sort of package deal
have included the use of a motorbike?
275
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,392
Anyway, absent friend.
276
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,893
Down his Brands Hatch.
277
00:19:08,493 --> 00:19:10,772
We should have heard
him kicking it by now.
278
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:14,192
I'll bet he's tried to push that
starter with his hand this time,
279
00:19:14,193 --> 00:19:16,653
and it's swung round
and clocked him on the chin.
280
00:19:30,093 --> 00:19:32,672
Maybe he's stretched out
on the floor bleeding.
281
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:34,133
Can't see him from here.
282
00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:41,152
He's been picked up, obviously,
by a passing ambulance.
283
00:19:41,153 --> 00:19:44,772
Why not a band of marauding
Indians? Don't be so damned cheerful.
284
00:19:44,773 --> 00:19:46,253
Where is he then?
285
00:19:50,053 --> 00:19:52,472
Here, where have you been?
286
00:19:52,473 --> 00:19:54,152
Have you broken anything?
287
00:19:54,153 --> 00:19:56,692
Not whistling to keep
our spirits up, are you?
288
00:19:56,693 --> 00:20:00,632
I've been for a widdle.
I've not broken anything.
289
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,892
We've been sitting
in the pub, you barm key,
290
00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:04,832
expecting to hear you!
291
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:07,613
Why?! I only had three halves!
292
00:20:08,913 --> 00:20:10,353
Don't encourage him.
293
00:20:12,213 --> 00:20:17,492
We might all have been better
off if the Wright brothers had never got off the ground with an aeroplane.
294
00:20:17,493 --> 00:20:19,312
There's always the atomic bomb.
295
00:20:19,313 --> 00:20:23,672
I know, but if they'd had to
drop it from a bicycle, it might have made them think a bit.
296
00:20:30,873 --> 00:20:33,512
What about this thing? Ho-ho!
297
00:20:33,513 --> 00:20:37,333
I ain't had so much fun since my
ferrets bit the rent man, haha!
298
00:20:55,873 --> 00:20:57,532
Right then,
299
00:20:57,533 --> 00:21:01,892
I'll get kitted out and then
we'll go for a little run.
300
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:03,333
Get the gear.
301
00:21:41,953 --> 00:21:44,913
Come on then, off with your coat.
302
00:21:50,053 --> 00:21:53,192
Look at him - like a
World War One rusty torpedo.
303
00:21:53,193 --> 00:21:56,332
Put him in the water,
give his wellies a spin
304
00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:57,933
and he'd go for miles.
305
00:22:01,173 --> 00:22:03,832
Not an unpleasing
appearance, I like it.
306
00:22:03,833 --> 00:22:07,572
Look, either get me out of here
or hand my beer in.
307
00:22:07,573 --> 00:22:10,152
And how am I going to go home
when the sandwiches come?
308
00:22:10,153 --> 00:22:11,692
Like a little pig?
309
00:22:11,693 --> 00:22:13,912
Aye, probably.
310
00:22:13,913 --> 00:22:15,733
That's it. Pull the sleeves in.
311
00:22:17,313 --> 00:22:21,192
This never belonged to Little Billy,
this might have belonged to Annie.
312
00:22:21,193 --> 00:22:24,832
Or maybe it was something
they did together, like frightening the rent man.
313
00:22:24,833 --> 00:22:29,732
Come on, on with your coat again.
Not a very good fit, is it?
314
00:22:29,733 --> 00:22:31,372
Like his teeth.
315
00:22:31,373 --> 00:22:33,613
Wait, you!
316
00:22:35,213 --> 00:22:38,952
Hey, I hope Little Billy
really was dead
317
00:22:38,953 --> 00:22:42,853
when they found him all stiff,
and not just having a nap in these.
318
00:22:44,473 --> 00:22:46,832
Now then,
let's get them trousers off.
319
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:48,293
All right. Come on then.
320
00:22:52,593 --> 00:22:54,552
Push it through. I'm pushing it!
321
00:22:54,553 --> 00:22:58,252
Push it! Ey-up, ey-up,
there's only one thing for it.
322
00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:01,432
We'll have to take his wellies off.
Oh, dear.
323
00:23:01,433 --> 00:23:02,893
Oh, dear.
324
00:23:11,213 --> 00:23:14,392
Ah, well, that's life.
325
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,413
Sometimes roses, and sometimes feet.
326
00:23:19,373 --> 00:23:22,832
Now get your feet through as quick
as you can and into your wellies,
327
00:23:22,833 --> 00:23:25,493
and don't leave them out a
moment longer than is necessary.
328
00:23:27,093 --> 00:23:30,173
And if you touch those sandwiches
again, I'll kill you.
329
00:23:35,513 --> 00:23:37,812
You'll have to help me
on with my wellies.
330
00:23:44,133 --> 00:23:48,512
Hey, I hope you know how you're
getting me into this, because you've got to get me out.
331
00:23:48,513 --> 00:23:52,613
It's easy, you just
chalk an arrow on the wall every time you come to a corner.
332
00:23:58,293 --> 00:24:00,273
Hey, watch it! Oh!
333
00:24:02,093 --> 00:24:04,172
Will you be quiet and concentrate?!
334
00:24:04,173 --> 00:24:06,052
I am concentrating!
335
00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:08,173
And would you like
to guess whereabouts?
336
00:24:10,733 --> 00:24:13,072
Right, that is finished.
337
00:24:13,073 --> 00:24:15,032
I wouldn't be at all surprised.
338
00:24:15,033 --> 00:24:16,333
Now then...
339
00:24:21,773 --> 00:24:25,652
Hey hey, it's like
being in a glass bucket.
340
00:24:25,653 --> 00:24:27,253
Aha, that's what I wanted.
341
00:24:31,813 --> 00:24:35,173
Serves you right, you greedy
little gannet.
342
00:24:36,553 --> 00:24:38,692
You know what
they've done, don't you?
343
00:24:38,693 --> 00:24:43,232
They've buried Little Billy in his
riding suit and this is his coffin.
344
00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:46,572
I hope all the buttons don't
just fall off
345
00:24:46,573 --> 00:24:49,292
and the whole thing swings open.
346
00:24:49,293 --> 00:24:51,313
I would not wish to see that.
347
00:24:52,373 --> 00:24:55,852
The larva of the caddisfly
picks up bits of debris
348
00:24:55,853 --> 00:24:59,512
and sticks it all over
itself to form a kind of shell.
349
00:24:59,513 --> 00:25:04,012
Do you realise there's every
possibility that when you come back out it'll be as a butterfly?
350
00:25:04,013 --> 00:25:06,032
Oh, give us a kiss.
351
00:25:06,033 --> 00:25:08,693
Come on, then.
Get your gauntlets on.
352
00:25:14,093 --> 00:25:17,653
That's it. My God, look at him,
Baron von Richthofen.
353
00:25:19,693 --> 00:25:22,673
Come on, wolf of the
skies, lead the way.
354
00:25:25,913 --> 00:25:27,373
I do beg your pardon.
355
00:25:31,953 --> 00:25:34,932
My Eadie used to wear
nighties like this.
356
00:25:34,933 --> 00:25:39,052
On a full moon, you could see right
through to her main idea.
357
00:25:39,053 --> 00:25:41,752
It's a lot of
clobber for a motorbike.
358
00:25:41,753 --> 00:25:44,273
You'd think he were togged up
for the lift-off.
359
00:25:46,933 --> 00:25:49,033
Now remember, don't
thump it this time.
360
00:26:00,193 --> 00:26:01,653
What a way to go.
361
00:26:19,993 --> 00:26:21,712
Where's the instruction book?
362
00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:23,792
In my jacket pocket.
363
00:26:23,793 --> 00:26:25,293
Under all that lot?!
364
00:26:34,453 --> 00:26:36,652
I hate him. No, you don't.
365
00:26:36,653 --> 00:26:38,973
Are you sure?
366
00:26:40,653 --> 00:26:44,853
Pretty sure. That's funny,
I thought I hated him.
367
00:26:45,933 --> 00:26:48,592
Puts your head in glass
buckets, doesn't he?
368
00:26:48,593 --> 00:26:50,152
Gives me fags.
369
00:26:50,153 --> 00:26:53,933
And it was only a short while ago
he was giving you a V-sign.
370
00:26:55,653 --> 00:26:57,252
That's true.
371
00:26:57,253 --> 00:27:01,712
Well, there you are, you see?
Nobody's all bad.
372
00:27:01,713 --> 00:27:03,493
Come on!
373
00:27:04,305 --> 00:28:04,463
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