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1
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,340
Oh... How much longer?
2
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,420
Well, they're usually here by now.
3
00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:40,219
If they're going to keep on
taking and bringing your telly back,
4
00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,539
then get a firm that's more punctual.
5
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:46,059
They're not so bad
averaged out over the year.
6
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:49,639
Once, when I had a bad run
with the gee-gees, they kept it in for four weeks.
7
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,799
They used to let me go round
and watch in the workshop.
8
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,739
Don't know how he's got the blasted cheek.
-Practice.
9
00:00:55,740 --> 00:01:00,179
Oh, they said they were glad to,
it were cheaper than running it back and forth.
10
00:01:00,180 --> 00:01:02,639
Have you ever thought
of keeping up the payments?
11
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,979
Oh, aye,
we all have these rash moments when we've had a few, don't we?
12
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:10,039
But the next morning
it's back to reality.
13
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,719
I don't know why they
bother with him. Huh!
14
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:17,099
They must need a customer
like him like they need watercress in a jockstrap.
15
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:20,999
I understand that his influence
dates from the time when he caught
16
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,699
the manager adjusting a horizontal
hold on her from the record counter.
17
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:30,339
Aye, in broad daylight, during
the dinner hour on the test bench.
18
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,839
Cor! I didn't half get
a touch of the static,
19
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:37,059
and I'd only nipped in for him to
solder this earring for me ferret.
20
00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:38,120
Ah, there we are!
21
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,879
Ah, have they sent thee, then, Eric?
22
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,640
Yes, they bloody have.
23
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,979
Eric's a qualified engineer.
Well done, Eric.
24
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:54,799
He did it all at night school.
Highly commendable.
25
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,279
Yeah, it was him what soldered
all my earrings for my ferrets.
26
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,419
Not everybody would.
They won't do it again, though.
27
00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:03,899
Why not? Well, the monkey bit him.
28
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:08,079
Have I got to carry it, then?
One player, three spectators?
29
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,039
You know we'd like to help
thee, Eric, but it's a question of the insurance.
30
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:13,960
You're the only one covered.
31
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,799
Since he's been qualified
he don't like these labouring jobs.
32
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,659
You're not so keen on them, either.
33
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,640
Aye. But he wasn't qualified.
34
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,499
Where's that blonde kid?
He's been bringing it lately.
35
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,579
Fell off the stupid roof, didn't he?
36
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:33,679
"Let me fix the aerial," he said.
37
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,139
So now he's got a pot on,
he's been grounded.
38
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:44,979
Ah! Nora Batty, my true love!
My own little mint humbug.
39
00:02:44,980 --> 00:02:47,379
He gets dafter. She spoke to me!
40
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:48,979
You heard her, she spoke to me!
41
00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:52,079
All right, take it downstairs,
Eric, you know where it goes.
42
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,339
Oh! My little Nora Dora.
Don't you come near me!
43
00:02:56,340 --> 00:03:01,219
What with one thing and another, he
leads a fairly full and active life.
44
00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:04,979
He's about as much use
to the community as whooping cough.
45
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:07,759
Why does he keep chasing that woman?
46
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,959
I expect because it's more fun
than actually catching her. I shall fetch my husband.
47
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:16,579
Oh, Nora, come out of that woolly
jumper and them baggy drawers... Oh!
48
00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:19,979
And show the world the real thee!
49
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:22,519
Oh, the way he embarrasses people.
50
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,239
And it's entirely self-taught.
51
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,539
He's never had a lesson in his life.
52
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:31,560
There he is! He's been on
about me drawers again. Tell him!
53
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,939
Well, say something to him!
54
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:37,799
How do, Compo? All right.
55
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,619
Don't chat to him!
56
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,360
Terrify him!
57
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,000
I brought you out
here to frighten him!
58
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,219
Oh, I see they've brought
your television back.
59
00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:51,879
Aye. But they were late, though.
60
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,159
It's that Eric, he's a bit bolshy.
61
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,679
Eh, I heard that!
62
00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:00,619
Oh, that Eric? Are you going to
let him do what he likes with me?
63
00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:03,739
What's to like about it?
64
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:08,839
Ask him. Ask him if he's aware
that he's lewd and obscene.
65
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:14,639
Course he's aware! Everybody knows
he's lewd and obscene, don't they?
66
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,559
Aye, it's common knowledge.
How's your pigeons?
67
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,639
Not so clever this season.
68
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:23,439
Don't you care? Don't you care?!
69
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,539
Course I care, woman!
70
00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:33,060
I don't spend all that bloody money
on corn for 'em to come rolling home after everybody else's! Oh, get in!
71
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:41,400
He don't know how lucky he
is to have a woman to care for him and carry him about like that.
72
00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:48,059
I think he's in love again, Cyril.
73
00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:51,939
You can always tell when his teeth
go that funny colour, white.
74
00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:54,579
You don't think he's
cleaning them again, do you?
75
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:57,000
Oh, my God, here we go.
76
00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:12,780
He's pushing his luck
a bit with the new librarians.
77
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,039
It's blowing in the wind, Jones.
78
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,059
It sounds like music, Miss Probert.
79
00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:21,939
It is music,
the sound of liberation.
80
00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:24,999
This is the age of
liberation, Jones. What is it?
81
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,999
The age of liberation, Miss Probert?
82
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,159
A few years ago, you'd have
been the slave of some male.
83
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,079
Do you really think so,
Miss Probert?
84
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,979
Definitely. You'd have been nothing
more than a sexual object.
85
00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:40,059
How fortunate to have
escaped such a humiliation.
86
00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:42,339
The plaything of some masculine oaf.
87
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:47,759
Instead of which I'm free,
lonely, and a librarian.
88
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,259
You are not lonely, Jones.
89
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:51,899
You are liberated!
90
00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:57,359
You've got the fellowship of the
movement, the comradeship of every emancipated brother female.
91
00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,019
Oh, goody.
92
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:03,139
You like men? I can't help it!
93
00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:07,379
Well, of course you can help it,
Jones! Our chairwoman did.
94
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:12,739
She went through the minefield
of divorce for the love of a lady traffic warden.
95
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:17,199
It's that simple response to
the call of duty which distinguishes our movement, Jones.
96
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,259
I was very fond of Mr Prothero.
97
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:27,159
I even felt a sort of...
gentle affection for his strangely non-symmetrical legs.
98
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,779
Commit yourself to us, Jones,
and I promise you this -
99
00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:34,600
you'll find many amongst us
with non-symmetrical legs.
100
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,499
Some cheeky hound's got
a wireless on in here.
101
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,620
I thought I could hear music,
Miss Probert.
102
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,240
You... You great...!
103
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,959
You great dozy librarian,
I nearly dropped it!
104
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,459
You have dropped it -
the clanger I've been waiting for. I've had my eye on you, you're out.
105
00:06:56,460 --> 00:07:00,259
These gentlemen will vouch for me,
I was just sitting there... Out!
106
00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:03,099
Perusing through your
educational literature...
107
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:07,279
Now! When suddenly,
this complete stranger come up and put this tranny on my hand.
108
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:09,999
Unsolicited
music on library premises.
109
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:14,659
That's typical masculine arrogance.
Out! Come on, lads, I'm appealing to you.
110
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:18,159
I don't find it very appealing,
do you? Who is he?
111
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,619
Oh, come on, don't muck about. Out!
112
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:23,939
Don't ask me, I've never seen him
before. His head's a funny shape.
113
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:29,159
Will you get out, or do I have
to use my power under the by-laws? You're a rotten lot!
114
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,759
I mean, what do we know about him
except that he likes twinkly music?
115
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,919
He reminded me of somebody.
116
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,999
That's exactly the epitaph
that I'd like on my gravestone.
117
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,019
He knows how to wear clothes... out.
118
00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:46,799
Hello, hello, hello, he's given
himself up for fingerprinting.
119
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,460
Perhaps it's his initial.
120
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,719
Just as I thought! You're all
together, you're an organised gang.
121
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,180
Get out!
122
00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,999
If you hadn't put it on so loud...
I'm disappointed in thee.
123
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,039
Tha let me down. Well, we got
thrown out at the same time as you.
124
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,499
It's humiliating
for a man of my background.
125
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,419
It's your foreground
that's noticeable these days.
126
00:08:57,420 --> 00:09:00,419
Tha didn't get thrown out wi' me,
tha got thrown out after.
127
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:03,759
They stood there, Sid,
and they let me down.
128
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,640
A disused mineshaft, I hope?
129
00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:10,839
Oh, you an' all, eh? Eh?
130
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,579
Nobody wants me.
131
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:16,719
What's up with him?
Bit of a funny time.
132
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,779
What, 27 minutes past?
133
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:21,839
He's in love again.
Oh, hell. I can hear thee.
134
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,939
Who's the lucky frauline this time?
135
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,799
He generally picks
some right snorters. Hey!
136
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,480
But then, don't we all?
137
00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:32,879
Are you going to stand there all day?
138
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,959
What is it, a lady's excuse me?
139
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,779
There's no excuse for you,
you big shapeless buttock.
140
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,299
What have you done today, eh?
141
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:43,119
Just what have you done? Apart
from stroking that bus conductress?
142
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,019
I was merely removing
a coffee stain off her uniform.
143
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:49,540
You can remove
your clever self round here and get this rubbish shifted.
144
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,439
Is there a fly there, Sid?
145
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,159
I can't see any fly.
146
00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,919
There must be a fly, else why
would he be behaving like that?
147
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,119
Oh, I know what he's up to.
148
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,459
Him and his coffee stains.
149
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:08,740
She must be a sloppy drinker
if she got one round there!
150
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,299
"Is there a fly there, Sid?"
Thank you very much.
151
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:17,059
Listen, if it's stains
you're after... You've dropped me in it now.
152
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:20,319
Will you kindly tell us why we never
see you messing about with him, eh?
153
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,839
Cleaning him up? You must be joking.
154
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,179
Don't you like a challenge?
155
00:10:25,180 --> 00:10:27,539
Hello, hello, hello.
156
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:29,079
Eh, tha can put them down.
157
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,439
Them's private and personal.
158
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,260
I took them with our
Barry's instant thingy.
159
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,579
I had to. Why?
160
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:41,659
Well, I asked her for a photo,
but she wouldn't give me one.
161
00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:45,499
Only because she doesn't like you,
it wasn't anything personal.
162
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,639
Not like him? She can't stand him!
163
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,579
High on her list of untouchables.
164
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:53,219
He comes somewhere between cobwebs
in corners and defective drains.
165
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:57,199
I'm going to wear her down
with the power of my passion.
166
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,259
He must be crackers.
She's a bigger nag than my missus.
167
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:04,740
I can't help it if I hear music
whenever she goes by.
168
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,719
Music? Her?
169
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,759
Must be mood music, all bad.
170
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,779
He's up to something,
all impetuous in Wellington boots.
171
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:19,240
If we were dead nosy, you see,
we probably would've followed him.
172
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,739
Hey, have...?
173
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,300
Well!
174
00:12:04,428 --> 00:12:07,827
'Now, you late night lovers,
here's a request for Nora.
175
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:11,527
'No address, I'm afraid, just
a signature - "lonely brown eyes".
176
00:12:11,528 --> 00:12:17,767
'Well, lonely brown eyes,
spelled A-Y-E-S, there's a novelty, I'm afraid we can't possibly enter
177
00:12:17,768 --> 00:12:22,847
into a discussion over the air
of matters of this, if I may say so, degree of frankness.
178
00:12:22,848 --> 00:12:24,427
I'm sure you'll understand.
179
00:12:24,428 --> 00:12:28,447
And before you embark on any
of several of your secret wishes
180
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:34,467
as outlined here, our advice to you
is get yourself a good solicitor, but thanks for listening.
181
00:12:34,468 --> 00:12:38,247
And here for you, lonely brown eyes,
and it's not difficult to see why,
182
00:12:38,248 --> 00:12:42,787
for the delectable,
and "right fetching even if her stockings are crinkled,"
183
00:12:42,788 --> 00:12:44,907
Nora, your request.
184
00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:49,228
♪ Some enchanted evening
185
00:12:50,848 --> 00:12:55,787
♪ You may see a stranger
186
00:12:55,788 --> 00:12:59,607
♪ You may see a stranger... ♪
187
00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:03,788
Get off! Get off!
188
00:13:07,108 --> 00:13:09,427
Oh, it's Nora, she's
getting through to me!
189
00:13:09,428 --> 00:13:11,787
All right, Nora, don't
worry, I'm coming!
190
00:13:11,788 --> 00:13:15,408
I'm coming, Nora, don't
go away, I'm coming!
191
00:13:18,728 --> 00:13:21,808
Don't worry, I'm coming, I'm coming!
192
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:28,228
'Ere, and you two
behave yourself an' all.
193
00:13:32,368 --> 00:13:35,047
All right, I'm coming!
194
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:38,207
Oh, my lovely Nora!
195
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:41,408
I hear thee, I hear thee!
196
00:13:46,648 --> 00:13:51,427
What the hell you doing,
y'daft ha'p'orth? Shut that door!
197
00:13:51,428 --> 00:13:54,607
If she wakes up before
I get a start, I'm dead.
198
00:13:54,608 --> 00:13:58,147
Is she in bed already? Don't you let
her stay up and listen to the radio?
199
00:13:58,148 --> 00:14:00,367
She does just as she likes.
200
00:14:00,368 --> 00:14:02,987
Listen, you don't mind
if I get dressed, do you?
201
00:14:02,988 --> 00:14:06,167
I daren't risk it in our house.
She's got ears like...
202
00:14:06,168 --> 00:14:08,427
The inside of a flower!
203
00:14:08,428 --> 00:14:09,968
A bloody Alsatian!
204
00:14:11,568 --> 00:14:14,327
I had a job on, sneaking
out with me clothes.
205
00:14:14,328 --> 00:14:16,087
You've got to help me, Compo.
206
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:20,727
I'm not helping thee if tha's
doing anything behind her back.
207
00:14:20,728 --> 00:14:24,127
I have nothing but the
greatest respect for your missus.
208
00:14:24,128 --> 00:14:25,987
I respect her!
209
00:14:25,988 --> 00:14:27,927
In fact, she terrifies me!
210
00:14:27,928 --> 00:14:30,827
So if you're playboying
around with other women,
211
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,867
I'm not lifting a finger
to break your Nora's heart.
212
00:14:33,868 --> 00:14:35,847
Here y'are. "Other women"?
213
00:14:35,848 --> 00:14:39,727
All I want in this world is a
bit of quiet and a few pigeons.
214
00:14:39,728 --> 00:14:41,747
I'm going back to me mam.
215
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,967
I've had enough. I'm leaving home!
216
00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:47,367
You're leaving home? Come here!
Go in, Wally, sit down.
217
00:14:47,368 --> 00:14:50,007
'Ere... No, Wally, sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
218
00:14:50,008 --> 00:14:52,307
You're leaving her? Yes! Next door?
219
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,467
Yes! On her own? Yes!
220
00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:57,747
But of course I'll help you,
Wally, of course I'll help you!
221
00:14:57,748 --> 00:15:00,627
What do you think friends are for?
222
00:15:00,628 --> 00:15:03,407
If I can get to me mam's, I'm safe.
223
00:15:03,408 --> 00:15:08,307
Aye! ♪ Some enchanted evening
224
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:12,527
♪ You may see a stranger... ♪
225
00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:18,047
What's up? Oh, God. Oh,
I thought for a minute she was here.
226
00:15:18,048 --> 00:15:19,947
Ah, that's me ferrets.
Do as you're told.
227
00:15:19,948 --> 00:15:21,547
Here y'are, put your arm in, Wally.
228
00:15:21,548 --> 00:15:24,868
Wally, put your arm in!
D'you get... Wally!
229
00:15:41,248 --> 00:15:43,407
You on your own again? Yes.
230
00:15:43,408 --> 00:15:45,587
I thought he might be with you.
231
00:15:45,588 --> 00:15:48,407
No, I haven't seen him.
232
00:15:48,408 --> 00:15:51,147
Nearly a week now. Yes.
233
00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:53,067
Much better, of course, without him.
234
00:15:53,068 --> 00:15:54,607
Oh, yes, lots of fun.
235
00:15:54,608 --> 00:15:56,707
Anyway, it saves on fags.
236
00:15:56,708 --> 00:16:00,787
I must say, without him the standard
of debate is immeasurably higher.
237
00:16:00,788 --> 00:16:02,947
By God, it is, yes.
238
00:16:02,948 --> 00:16:05,827
I mean, look what we
discussed yesterday, in depth,
239
00:16:05,828 --> 00:16:09,647
for three hours - the implications
of a reduction in the bank rate.
240
00:16:09,648 --> 00:16:11,587
Is that what it was, three hours?
241
00:16:11,588 --> 00:16:13,347
Yes. The time just goes, you see.
242
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:16,047
Whizzes by, doesn't it?
Like a snail up a drainpipe.
243
00:16:16,048 --> 00:16:17,987
Three hours! I thought it was a week.
244
00:16:17,988 --> 00:16:20,547
Well, it wouldn't drag
if we had the right topic.
245
00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:22,607
That's all we want,
is the right topic.
246
00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:24,567
Fancy Wally Batty leaving home.
247
00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:26,247
And I don't mean gossip.
248
00:16:26,248 --> 00:16:28,867
We don't need gossip,
people of our intelligence.
249
00:16:28,868 --> 00:16:30,567
We need livening up.
250
00:16:30,568 --> 00:16:33,767
I see that young lady has got
a touch of the spring again.
251
00:16:33,768 --> 00:16:36,207
I should think so.
Like a holiday for her.
252
00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:41,887
No Compo Simmonite scattering fag
ends and crumbs round her reference section. Is that all it takes?
253
00:16:41,888 --> 00:16:47,108
I wonder if he realises how
much happiness he spreads just by keeping out of the road.
254
00:17:19,968 --> 00:17:23,207
I understand they've
discovered oil in Derbyshire.
255
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,547
Fancy... Just small amounts.
256
00:17:26,548 --> 00:17:28,907
Well, it's full of holes, anyway.
257
00:17:28,908 --> 00:17:31,607
What is? Derbyshire.
Well, isn't everything?
258
00:17:31,608 --> 00:17:33,267
Yes, I suppose it is, really.
259
00:17:33,268 --> 00:17:35,607
I mean, take the unions. Again?
260
00:17:35,608 --> 00:17:37,167
My feelings exactly.
261
00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:38,947
We hear too much about them.
262
00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:40,927
Trade union movement indeed!
263
00:17:40,928 --> 00:17:46,187
It's a movement, all right,
and for the last three years we've heard nothing but diarrhoea. Hm...
264
00:17:46,188 --> 00:17:47,747
What's wrong?
265
00:17:47,748 --> 00:17:51,287
Well, it's just not
my kind of topic, Cyril.
266
00:17:51,288 --> 00:17:53,327
Well then, tell me what is.
267
00:17:53,328 --> 00:17:54,788
All right.
268
00:17:56,948 --> 00:17:58,987
Something quieter.
269
00:17:58,988 --> 00:18:00,907
Such as what?
270
00:18:00,908 --> 00:18:02,727
Go on, tell me and we'll begin.
271
00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:09,207
All right. Subject, the intervention
of the gods in human affairs
272
00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:12,807
called incarnation. Are you with me?
273
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:17,967
Now, suppose it's happening all the
time but we just don't recognise it?
274
00:18:17,968 --> 00:18:23,247
Now, here's God trying to get through
to us, and we're not listening.
275
00:18:23,248 --> 00:18:25,707
Maybe He comes as all sorts.
276
00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:30,067
I mean, why always as a person?
277
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:33,707
He's got all these other
species to look after, an' all.
278
00:18:33,708 --> 00:18:37,687
I mean, perhaps
sometimes He comes as a bird
279
00:18:37,688 --> 00:18:40,907
or a little furry creature
280
00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:47,268
or even as a greenfly,
and all we're doing is going round with the insecticide.
281
00:18:48,868 --> 00:18:52,427
What kind of a topic is that?
Well, there you are, you see?
282
00:18:52,428 --> 00:18:56,527
We're too far apart. We need somebody
between us, however scruffy he is.
283
00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:58,427
Huh! And let's face it, he is.
284
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,647
Yes. Yes.
285
00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:04,127
You see, he gives us a sort of
meeting ground in the middle.
286
00:19:04,128 --> 00:19:07,027
I wonder what he's up to.
Grimy little hermit.
287
00:19:07,028 --> 00:19:11,748
It's really none of our business,
which I always think makes it that much more interesting.
288
00:19:35,148 --> 00:19:36,728
How do, lads?
289
00:19:43,008 --> 00:19:48,087
Somebody's been going round
this area doing up tatty old men.
290
00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:52,887
I don't believe it. How
did they get him out of them old trousers without an anaesthetic?
291
00:19:52,888 --> 00:19:55,267
Don't go on with the rattle!
292
00:19:55,268 --> 00:19:56,967
It's nowt special.
293
00:19:56,968 --> 00:19:58,767
Not even my best suit.
294
00:19:58,768 --> 00:20:00,647
Do you mean there's more than one?
295
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:03,427
They belonged to her husband.
He left her the house.
296
00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:07,027
I may say, it's not a bad fit.
297
00:20:07,028 --> 00:20:10,847
The pockets were full of
pigeon coal, but other than that, it weren't in bad nick.
298
00:20:10,848 --> 00:20:13,667
She gave 'em to me.
I think she's gone off him.
299
00:20:13,668 --> 00:20:19,507
Well, listen, smoothie,
aren't you going to ask us in?
300
00:20:19,508 --> 00:20:21,407
Well, only for a minute, then.
301
00:20:21,408 --> 00:20:23,767
I've got an appointment, tha sees.
302
00:20:23,768 --> 00:20:30,487
Come on. That's what I like, a warm welcome!
-We haven't come for your telly, you know!
303
00:20:30,488 --> 00:20:35,467
I give her a hand
with the heavy work, and she helps me with the house. Heavy work?
304
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:39,847
You? The phantom employment
avoider of the social security?
305
00:20:39,848 --> 00:20:41,807
They seek him here,
they seek him there.
306
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:44,087
Ah, me and Nora
have got to stick together.
307
00:20:44,088 --> 00:20:46,367
We're the only two left on this row.
308
00:20:46,368 --> 00:20:49,907
Which reminds me,
I have an appointment in a minute.
309
00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:52,107
I'm expected for morning cocoa.
310
00:20:52,108 --> 00:20:53,807
Very space-age.
311
00:20:53,808 --> 00:20:57,987
Yeah, that were Wally's.
She gave it to him for his birthday. She said I might as well wear it.
312
00:20:57,988 --> 00:21:00,367
Getting you broken into
her schedule, is she?
313
00:21:00,368 --> 00:21:02,387
Don't you worry about me!
314
00:21:02,388 --> 00:21:06,507
Something very sinister
about all this, him becoming hygienic overnight.
315
00:21:06,508 --> 00:21:10,207
Yeah, well, I'm sorry, lads, you've
called at a very awkward time.
316
00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:14,307
I've got to go. And she is very
particular about time, is Nora.
317
00:21:14,308 --> 00:21:19,788
♪ Some enchanted evening
You'll meet the Lone Ranger... ♪
318
00:21:39,188 --> 00:21:41,168
I'll see you sometime, lads.
319
00:22:14,828 --> 00:22:17,227
And he's wearing a collar and tie!
320
00:22:17,228 --> 00:22:18,887
Get away! Aye.
321
00:22:18,888 --> 00:22:22,247
And not the one he usually wears
to keep up the tops of his trousers.
322
00:22:22,248 --> 00:22:25,187
How's he keeping them up, then?
He's wearing Wally's suits.
323
00:22:25,188 --> 00:22:29,327
Oh, the cheeky monkey.
I've heard of stepping into another bloke's shoes, but...
324
00:22:29,328 --> 00:22:31,687
And he's wearing THEM, an' all.
Oh, stone me!
325
00:22:31,688 --> 00:22:35,207
If that in't a liberty! Well,
liberty's about the last thing it is.
326
00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:38,847
She's nearly got him on a lead
already. I can't understand him.
327
00:22:38,848 --> 00:22:43,147
He's going to be indistinguishable
from any other trained domestic performer.
328
00:22:43,148 --> 00:22:46,467
Hm. Hey, d'you mind?
We've still got our pride, y'know.
329
00:22:46,468 --> 00:22:49,807
It's only the nerve that's gone.
Sorry.
330
00:22:49,808 --> 00:22:55,827
I know I've not always been
complimentary to him, especially when downwind of his feet,
331
00:22:55,828 --> 00:23:00,767
but I have no wish to see him
going to a fate worse than death with a smile on his stupid face.
332
00:23:00,768 --> 00:23:04,707
I wonder if he IS in all that deep,
or whether he's up to something.
333
00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:08,767
I know he was untidy, but you've got
to admit that with proper training
334
00:23:08,768 --> 00:23:10,807
he could be
a real devious little twot.
335
00:23:10,808 --> 00:23:13,347
There was something about that wink
he gave us.
336
00:23:13,348 --> 00:23:16,427
His eye were bloodshot.
No, it was something else.
337
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:21,427
I think we ought to have a word with
Wally Batty, husband and escapee.
338
00:23:21,428 --> 00:23:23,107
He may have the key to this lot.
339
00:23:23,108 --> 00:23:26,847
It might help if we knew
why he left home.
340
00:23:26,848 --> 00:23:30,547
Hey, you've only got to
take one look at Nora to know why he left home.
341
00:23:30,548 --> 00:23:32,427
Oh, yes? Motionless again?
342
00:23:32,428 --> 00:23:36,147
What do you think you are,
the spirit of passive resistance?
343
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:40,407
Oh, go on, get back through.
I'm coming. Coming? You've been coming all day.
344
00:23:40,408 --> 00:23:44,887
If you stick there much longer,
they'll be posting flamin' bills on you.
345
00:23:44,888 --> 00:23:47,947
Hey! Watch this space.
346
00:23:47,948 --> 00:23:51,428
How can I?
It's always stuck to a flamin' chair!
347
00:23:53,748 --> 00:23:57,727
Hey, if you do see Wally Batty,
ask him has he got any tips on how he escaped.
348
00:23:57,728 --> 00:24:00,407
Oh, you've come, have you?
349
00:24:02,368 --> 00:24:06,447
They say ivy'll grow on anything.
She's never grown on me!
350
00:24:06,448 --> 00:24:08,747
She loves him really.
351
00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:10,727
So he says.
352
00:24:10,728 --> 00:24:14,208
It used to be once a fortnight. I
don't know how he's doing these days.
353
00:24:32,788 --> 00:24:34,507
Another?
354
00:24:34,508 --> 00:24:36,907
Nay, come on, it must be my round.
355
00:24:36,908 --> 00:24:38,607
No, get them down you, Wally.
356
00:24:38,608 --> 00:24:40,907
What more can a man ask for, eh?
357
00:24:40,908 --> 00:24:43,787
A few drinks and two good listeners.
358
00:24:43,788 --> 00:24:46,067
Good health. Cheers.
359
00:24:46,068 --> 00:24:48,987
How's your poultry? They're pigeons.
360
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:52,127
I'm terribly sorry, I'm sure.
361
00:24:52,128 --> 00:24:58,927
♪ Some enchanted evening
You may see a stranger
362
00:24:58,928 --> 00:25:01,588
♪ You may see a stra...
363
00:25:04,068 --> 00:25:07,188
♪ A stranger Across a cro...
364
00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:11,568
♪ Room... ♪
365
00:25:23,848 --> 00:25:26,827
You ARE going back
to your wife, then?
366
00:25:26,828 --> 00:25:30,927
Oh, aye. In another day or so.
367
00:25:30,928 --> 00:25:33,507
I just had to have a good rest.
368
00:25:33,508 --> 00:25:35,347
Didn't Compo tell you?
369
00:25:35,348 --> 00:25:37,547
He knows you're going back?
370
00:25:37,548 --> 00:25:40,848
Oh, aye! I told him t'night I left.
371
00:25:49,908 --> 00:25:54,447
♪ Some enchanted evening... ♪
372
00:25:54,448 --> 00:25:56,027
Hoo-hoo, that's her!
373
00:25:56,028 --> 00:25:59,128
♪ You may see a stranger... ♪
374
00:26:01,548 --> 00:26:05,327
'Ey up, now come on, clear off.
I'm expecting company.
375
00:26:05,328 --> 00:26:07,467
He's expecting company. Fancy!
376
00:26:07,468 --> 00:26:09,807
Yes, you'll have to clear off.
It's private.
377
00:26:09,808 --> 00:26:11,527
I bet it is! Saucy little devil.
378
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:15,147
Look, I've got a Chinese meal in
that oven that cost me half a quid.
379
00:26:15,148 --> 00:26:17,467
Big spender. You've done it now.
380
00:26:17,468 --> 00:26:19,167
It's marriage she's after.
381
00:26:19,168 --> 00:26:22,727
I told you,
don't you worry about me!
382
00:26:22,728 --> 00:26:26,667
He thinks he's safe from matrimony
because Wally is coming back.
383
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:28,767
He's got no scruple whatsoever.
384
00:26:28,768 --> 00:26:33,707
And he's also run out of luck,
because we have just left Wally Batty at the airport.
385
00:26:33,708 --> 00:26:35,587
Divorce papers in the post.
386
00:26:35,588 --> 00:26:37,987
Never coming back again.
Gone forever.
387
00:26:37,988 --> 00:26:40,307
Decided to stay
and enjoy his freedom.
388
00:26:40,308 --> 00:26:42,067
He's only gone to see his pigeons.
389
00:26:42,068 --> 00:26:43,828
Via New Zealand?
390
00:26:47,128 --> 00:26:49,907
Hasn't he gone a funny colour?
391
00:26:49,908 --> 00:26:52,588
He doesn't look well, does he?
392
00:26:54,388 --> 00:26:56,727
Oh, Nora...
393
00:26:56,728 --> 00:26:58,447
Oh, bloody hell!
394
00:27:02,628 --> 00:27:05,668
NO! No, not that.
You'll have to get me out of it!
395
00:27:33,088 --> 00:27:37,667
Oh, my little Nora darling,
you are irresistible! Ohhh!
396
00:27:37,668 --> 00:27:41,167
Get him off! Don't you come near me!
397
00:27:41,168 --> 00:27:42,827
My God, he's had a relapse!
398
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:47,047
Come on, love, I've reserved
t'back bedroom for you! Come on. Oh, no! Yes, yes!
399
00:27:47,048 --> 00:27:51,147
Oh, Gawd...
400
00:27:51,148 --> 00:27:53,167
Oh, dear.
401
00:27:53,168 --> 00:27:55,807
And I had it all lined up, an' all.
402
00:27:55,808 --> 00:27:59,627
How far did you think
you were going to get on a handful of beanshoots?
403
00:27:59,628 --> 00:28:03,347
Well, I've got some wine. We know.
And that's not too clever, either.
404
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:08,228
Do you think he's let it breathe?
Breathe? I should think it's been inhaling near his ferrets.
405
00:28:10,808 --> 00:28:12,548
I made it meself.
406
00:28:18,608 --> 00:28:21,528
I took me wellies off!
407
00:28:23,088 --> 00:28:25,287
You rotten lot! Wally's back!
408
00:28:25,288 --> 00:28:27,787
I just seen him!
Did you hear that, Cyril?
409
00:28:27,788 --> 00:28:30,207
I should think they heard that
in Huddersfield.
410
00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:32,927
Ah, listen, there's the two
what you want to throw out.
411
00:28:32,928 --> 00:28:36,528
They scoffed my Chinese meal
and ruined my sex life!
412
00:28:37,765 --> 00:29:37,691
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