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1
00:00:03,267 --> 00:00:04,827
[ Hip-hop playing ]
2
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:26,030
MAN:
Last week on "Baby Sleuths"...
3
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,897
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
4
00:00:27,933 --> 00:00:29,733
Can't crack this
triple homicide.
5
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,897
It's been wracking
my [bleep] brain.
6
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:34,073
Looks like we don't have to.
7
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,900
[ Cooing ]
8
00:00:37,933 --> 00:00:40,373
Wow.
They're just so smart.
9
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,230
[ Cooing ]
10
00:00:42,267 --> 00:00:44,527
God, I know.
11
00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:46,167
[ Crying ]
12
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:53,097
They did it again.
13
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,630
* Uh-huh
14
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:02,667
* Poompf, poompf
15
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,570
* Oh, here we go,
here we go *
16
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,900
* Poompf, poompf
17
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:08,573
* Let's start the show
18
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,870
* Poompf, poompf
19
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,800
* Let's start the show
20
00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:14,673
* Poompf, poompf
21
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,830
* Yeah, let me start the show
22
00:01:16,867 --> 00:01:21,297
* Poompf is just the sound of
when a pillow hits the floor *
23
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:25,333
* And just because I'm poompfing
doesn't mean that I'm a whore *
24
00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:29,797
* 'Cause going down is normal
in today's United States *
25
00:01:29,833 --> 00:01:31,703
* And I expect my man
to poompf *
26
00:01:31,733 --> 00:01:33,633
* And, yo, I'm no ingrate
27
00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:36,067
* I'm gonna poompf, poompf
28
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,900
* Yeah, you know what I mean
29
00:01:37,933 --> 00:01:39,973
* Poompf, poompf
30
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,070
* Yeah, let me set the scene
31
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,900
* Yesterday was sucking
32
00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:46,403
* 'Cause my car was
broken down *
33
00:01:46,433 --> 00:01:48,003
* My clothes were stolen
34
00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:51,003
* And my cousin's daughter's
cat was drown *
35
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:52,503
* I sat in my apartment
36
00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:54,733
* I was eating curds and whey
37
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,367
* But, yo, my girlfriend
came home *
38
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,730
* And she said, "Yo,
spread those legs" *
39
00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:01,297
* I'm gonna poompf, poompf
40
00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:03,573
* Hey, yo, I didn't even care
about that cat anymore *
41
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,470
* Poompf, poompf
42
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,700
* Yeah, let me add some more
43
00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:09,503
* I was at the Jiffy Lube
44
00:02:09,533 --> 00:02:11,903
* And dude came at me hard
45
00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:13,733
* But when I said,
"No, thank you" *
46
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,067
* He was sweet
and I was charmed *
47
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:20,000
* On top of that I saw him
help a kitten from a tree *
48
00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:22,703
* So, girl, I whipped
a pillow out my purse *
49
00:02:22,733 --> 00:02:24,003
* Yeah, y'all know me
50
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:26,573
* I'm gonna poompf, poompf
51
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,900
* Oh, that's what's in store
52
00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:30,533
* Poompf, Poompf
53
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,797
* Yeah, y'all know some more
54
00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,833
* Poompf, poompf
55
00:02:34,867 --> 00:02:36,827
* Hey, yo, it's just
a nice thing to do *
56
00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:38,827
* Poompf, poompf
57
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,397
* Yeah, you know what I do
58
00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:42,833
* Poompf
59
00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:45,497
[ Dog barks ]
60
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,873
Here we go, lads, here we go.
61
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,670
Place your bets
on our next beast
62
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:53,170
to be set upon by 500 bulldogs.
63
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,730
[ Snarling ]
64
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:56,367
Bring in the beast!
65
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,600
[ Barking continues ]
66
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:02,203
Last bets!
67
00:03:02,233 --> 00:03:03,933
Folks, here we go!
68
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,570
[ Whirring ]
69
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,400
[ Cheering ]
70
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:12,333
Release the dogs!
71
00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:14,927
[ Barking ]
72
00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:19,067
[ Chomp! ]
73
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,700
[ Whining ]
74
00:03:21,733 --> 00:03:24,203
[ Growls, barks ]
75
00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:28,173
[ Zapping ]
76
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,500
Let's hear it for Stephen!
77
00:03:34,533 --> 00:03:37,003
[ Cheering ]
78
00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:39,903
* On and on
79
00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:42,573
-What?
* On and on
80
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,000
-What?
* Semen is a demon
81
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:45,403
* Let it out, let it out
-What?
82
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,833
* Semen is a demon,
let it out, let it out *
83
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:49,067
-What?
* Semen is a demon
84
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,570
* Get it out, get it out
85
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:51,970
-What?
* Semen is a demon
86
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,670
* Suck it out, suck it out
-What?
87
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,670
Right?
88
00:03:56,767 --> 00:03:58,067
ILANA:
Oh, you know, here's one.
89
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,570
Like, making fun
of British people,
90
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,000
like, as though they're, like,
hot but they're not.
91
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,073
Like...
92
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,730
[ Gurgling ]
93
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,527
Like the Royals.
94
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:10,197
The Royals.
95
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,673
Ey...
96
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:13,370
The Royals.
97
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,230
Hey, the Royals!
98
00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:17,767
ILANA: Even like Jews.
99
00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:24,727
* Trying to fit in
wherever she goes *
100
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:27,227
* Preteen with a Predator head
101
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,127
* Growing up and stuff
Like everyone else *
102
00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:34,027
* Preteen with a Predator head
103
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:37,797
* What kind of makeup
should I use? *
104
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:40,803
* They don't carry greens
and teals *
105
00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:44,673
* Preteen Predator head
106
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:47,570
* Preteen with a Predator head
107
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,900
* How do I talk with a boy?
108
00:04:50,933 --> 00:04:54,073
* Preteen with a Predator head
109
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:57,500
* Does everyone feel like me?
110
00:04:57,533 --> 00:05:01,233
* Does everyone feel like me?
111
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,000
[ Seagull squawking ]
112
00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,267
[ Whimpering ]
113
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,870
[ Chuckling ]
I'm at peace.
114
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,800
I'm -- I'm at peace.
115
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,203
[ Laughing ]
116
00:05:20,233 --> 00:05:22,133
I'm at peace!
117
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:24,597
I'm at peace.
118
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,870
If I touch a fish,
I start having an orgasm,
119
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,170
and I can't stop!
120
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,170
My privates turn into a BP
oil spill.
121
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,370
I know.
122
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,800
* Preteen Predator head
123
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:42,403
[ Cheering ]
124
00:05:42,433 --> 00:05:44,903
Hey, kiddo.
What's up?
125
00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:47,203
Oh, nothing,
Mom and Dad.
126
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:49,633
[ Laugh track ]
127
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:51,297
Oh, honey.
128
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,303
I think we know our little girl
a little better than that.
129
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:54,503
[ Studio audience gasps ]
130
00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:57,073
Come on. You can talk to us
about your feelings.
131
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,900
[ Cheering ]
132
00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:01,903
Well, okay.
It's just that...
133
00:06:01,933 --> 00:06:05,373
I'm starting to feel like
I'm not a girl anymore.
134
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,700
[ Laugh track ]
135
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,803
I feel like I'm having
woman feelings.
136
00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,973
[ Heckling ]
137
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,730
Sounds like this is
a ladies only conversation.
138
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,397
[ Cheering ]
139
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:17,733
I'm gonna go watch some LeBron
in the garage.
140
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,297
[ Ahh'ing ]
141
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,473
Yell if you need me.
142
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,700
[ Booing ]
143
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:25,503
Tabitha, have you started
your period?
144
00:06:25,533 --> 00:06:26,803
[ Cheering ]
145
00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:29,573
No, it's not that.
I like a boy.
146
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,530
[ Whooping ]
147
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,227
And I want him to like me.
148
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:36,667
But I feel like he doesn't
even know I exist.
149
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,070
[ Laughter ]
150
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:41,530
He won't even make
eye contact with me.
151
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,897
Honey, all girls
go through this.
152
00:06:43,933 --> 00:06:45,733
You just gotta be yourself,
153
00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:48,397
and if a boy likes you
for who you are,
154
00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:51,633
well, then he's gotta get
Daddy's approval.
155
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,697
Hey, no boyfriend
for my little girl!
156
00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:54,973
[ Cheering ]
157
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000
I'm not ready for that.
[ Aww'ing ]
158
00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:59,333
[ Chuckles ]
I feel better.
159
00:06:59,367 --> 00:07:00,367
Thanks.
160
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,500
[ Booing ]
161
00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:02,803
I love you, Mom.
162
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:04,133
[ Cheering ]
163
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:05,627
And Dad!
164
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,797
Love you, too, pumpkin!
165
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:09,533
[ Booing ]
166
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:13,567
* Preteen Predator head
167
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,630
Come on now!
168
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,067
You know what I want to see.
169
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:19,400
I want to see a couple
of half-naked bodies
170
00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:20,573
on the television screen.
171
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:21,970
Now don't get me wrong,
172
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,900
I'm not talking about
that full-frontal stuff.
173
00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:25,973
I'm talking about
that television tease.
174
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,900
It ain't nothing you're gonna
find on the Internet,
175
00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:29,573
because the Internet will give
you all the way.
176
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,530
And sometimes you don't want
to see it all the way.
177
00:07:31,567 --> 00:07:34,997
So that's what we're gonna get
on the television screen.
178
00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:37,103
It got to give me "the tease."
179
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,530
Like only ugly people kill
or do bad things.
180
00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:45,227
For one, bad guys are often hot.
181
00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:48,227
And, two, all animals
gotta eat to live.
182
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:51,067
And eating, most of the time,
is killing.
183
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:53,400
Even little cheetah cubs
got their beautiful mamas
184
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,973
out there running down ugly,
innocent wildebeest.
185
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,900
I'm not saying either
are villains,
186
00:07:57,933 --> 00:08:00,233
just that the ugly guy
isn't biting the throat.
187
00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:04,067
Look, turtles are out there
slowly [bleep] up some plants.
188
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:07,000
And who knows, one day, science
is gonna say, "Guess what, guys?
189
00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:10,473
We can finally hear plants,
and they are super pissed."
190
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:13,130
I suppose the best thing to do
is eat the dead.
191
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:16,027
You know, eat those that have
died of natural causes.
192
00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:19,627
Who knew that scavengers --
all super ugly, by the way --
193
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,567
are the true good guys
out there.
194
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,600
Hmm.
So ugly does not equal bad.
195
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,397
See something...
196
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,373
say -- say something.
197
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,030
See something, say something.
198
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,967
See something, say something.
199
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,670
You see something...
200
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,070
say something.
201
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,233
* Oh, yeah
202
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,127
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
203
00:08:57,167 --> 00:09:00,297
* If you are hearing this
204
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,173
* We are...you
205
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,730
* If you are hearing this
206
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:07,667
* We are...you
207
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,570
* When you're standing
on the chest of the best *
208
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,300
* Don't forget to quiver your
quiver to drop the drops *
209
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,573
* Be a receptacle
210
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,530
* For what is stored
in my musical testicles *
211
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:18,067
* I don't want to see pictures
of your animals *
212
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,370
* I don't want to see pictures
of your animals *
213
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,570
* I hate your dog
214
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,400
* By and large
215
00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:25,533
* I am buying large
216
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:28,227
* If you are hearing this
217
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:29,867
* We are...you
218
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,730
* If you are hearing this
219
00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:34,827
* We are...you
220
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:40,170
That will teach you
to keep your eyes open.
221
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:47,200
Yeah!
Take a look at that!
222
00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:50,503
Ugh! Yeah.
Party never stops.
223
00:09:50,533 --> 00:09:53,933
Ugh!
Take a look at that.
224
00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:58,533
Just have fun with life --
that's the key.
225
00:09:58,567 --> 00:10:00,367
Be fun!
226
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,330
Be [bleep] fun!
227
00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:06,097
[ Laughs ]
228
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:55,873
[ Hip-hop playing ]
229
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,400
Bye-bye.
230
00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:12,703
Chirp.
231
00:11:12,753 --> 00:11:17,303
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