All language subtitles for Brad Neelys Harg Nallin Sclopio Peepio s01e01 Streep.eng
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,713
[ Hip-hop playing ]
2
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:26,264
MAN: Hey, audience,
it's time for "Cute Corner,"
3
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:30,034
where you imagine the cute
animals that I describe.
4
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:33,004
Ready?
Okay, guys, close your eyes.
5
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,173
Imagine a ladybug
with a pug head on a leaf
6
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,565
with his tongue out
and whimpering.
7
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:40,907
Ahh!
8
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:44,751
Next, imagine
a scrunchy-faced kitty.
9
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,948
Crimp, crimp. Mmm!
10
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,720
Next, think of little arms,
11
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,790
fat tummy, googly-eyed,
licky lick.
12
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,360
[ Muttering ]
13
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:59,759
And a nippy, trembling,
skimpy knobber.
14
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,763
Click, clack, oh.
[ Mutters ]
15
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,095
Aw, him chilly.
16
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,601
Oh, shiver, shiver.
[ Chuckles ]
17
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,103
Next up, get ready to imagine
18
00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,596
a goose...
[ Quacks ]
19
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:14,068
...with a monster
human [bleep]
20
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,808
Mm-hmm!
21
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,883
And, finally, picture
in your wittle heady-wed
22
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,582
a pretty little baby fawn
licking up a sugar cube.
23
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,486
Okay.
[ Gags ]
24
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:28,358
This has been "Cute Corner"!
25
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,958
MAN: You can do this.
26
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:37,303
The only person who can stop you
is you.
27
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:40,571
And you're not
gonna give up, no.
28
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:44,341
Don't listen to the negative
voices telling you to quit.
29
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,072
You're a champion.
30
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,336
And champions just do it.
31
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:52,847
No! Stop!
32
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,752
Brian, why?!
33
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,988
That's not my name!
34
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,533
My name is Doo Doo Man!
See?
35
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,859
And I'm a champion!
36
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,256
That's three times!
37
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,668
In one day.
38
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,199
I don't know how he does it,
frankly.
39
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,138
[ Birds chirping ]
40
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,840
What's up, girl?
I know you're there.
41
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,341
-Hey, oh.
-What's up, girl?
42
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:20,373
[ Ting! ]
43
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,638
[ Beat plays ]
44
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,775
* What's up?
45
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,550
* Yo, yo, yo
46
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,678
Jamba Jews!
47
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,184
* We're in your face
48
00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:29,176
What's up, girl?
49
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,147
Jamba Jews!
50
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,024
* Hey, yo, what is up?
51
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,562
* Hey, yo, yo, yo
52
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:40,228
* Whaaat's uuuup, giiiirl?
53
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,631
-Send nudes, girl.
-What's up, girl?
54
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,033
Hey, just hear me out, girl.
55
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,034
Hey, girl, what's up?
56
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:48,896
MAN: Big Dumb Siren!
57
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,636
It's finally available
in stores.
58
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,481
Big Dumb Siren for the top
of your bitch-ass head.
59
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,978
Perfect for idiots, [bleep] ups,
60
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,810
ne'er-do-wells, jackanapes,
61
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,246
loose-lipped pimps,
62
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,381
goblin sisters, [bleep]-a-boos,
63
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,016
[bleep]-a-boo bonzais,
fake-ass tricks,
64
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,722
punk-ass chumps,
snotty well moms,
65
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,715
and evildoers!
66
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,327
Big Dumb Siren!
67
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:14,229
* I ain't gonna hear that
68
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,562
* Ain't gonna hear that
69
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,726
* Ain't gonna hear that
70
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:17,904
* Ain't gonna hear that
71
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,201
* Ain't gonna hear that
72
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,733
* Ain't gonna hear that
73
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,038
* Ain't gonna hear that
74
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,669
* Ain't gonna hear that
75
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:28,114
MAN:
"The Lord of the Things."
76
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,211
Once, there was
a very general man
77
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:35,515
who had a normal life
that we can all relate to.
78
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,049
Then he had to do a thing.
79
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:41,755
And when he did,
he became its lord.
80
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:45,689
He seemed to have authority
over a thing or two,
81
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,256
but like most of us,
82
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:50,725
he sometimes wanted
two things equally.
83
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,204
He had to choose one thing.
84
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,203
And there were consequences,
85
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,635
but they were not
insurmountable.
86
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:04,111
At last, some people helped him
and some did not.
87
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,884
Finally, there many things
he could not get around
88
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,454
to lording over.
89
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:12,592
He ended up always having lived
in a place with people.
90
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,660
And sometimes it was night.
91
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:18,158
And sometimes it was day.
92
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:23,801
And he lorded and he lorded
and he lorded...
93
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,971
over a good deal of things.
94
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:32,210
He was "The Lord of the Things."
95
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,978
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
96
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,310
Rule number one.
97
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,946
If your girl got a hurt foot,
98
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,021
don't you dare ask
for a blow job.
99
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,321
Stay hard, my friends.
100
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,322
* Bitches and dicks
101
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,988
* You know there ain't nothing
102
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,355
* But bitches and dicks
103
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,704
* You know there ain't
nothing but *
104
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,099
* Bitches and dicks
105
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,600
* You know there ain't
nothing but *
106
00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,972
* Bitches and dicks
107
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,340
* You know there ain't
nothing but *
108
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,300
* Bitches and dicks
109
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:07,508
* Come on with your bitches
and dicks *
110
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:10,541
* Mmm, I got your bitches
and dicks *
111
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:14,048
* Come on with your bitches
and dicks *
112
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,851
Excuse me, family.
[ Screams ]
113
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,218
But when you was
taking out my bag
114
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:27,356
of gizzards and lizards
and neck bones and stuff,
115
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:29,325
did you happen to see
a wedding ring in there?
116
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:33,173
Because my fiancé
is very angry at me.
117
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,200
[ Shutters clicking ]
118
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,435
[ Techno playing ]
119
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,220
* I ain't gonna hear that
120
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,752
* Ain't gonna hear that
121
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,987
* Ain't gonna hear that
122
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,562
* Ain't gonna hear that
123
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:58,731
[ Gavel bangs ]
124
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,899
And now we'll hear
from our local swamp hag.
125
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,399
You have the floor.
126
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:06,371
My God damn bog
is drying up, y'all.
127
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,440
I don't buy no lotions
or moisturizers.
128
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:12,539
I moisten myself with
the [bleep] swamp, okay?
129
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,513
I eat lizards, dude.
130
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,542
I eat frogs.
131
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,506
And guess what,
they're all dying.
132
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:20,405
So, ergo, I'm dying,
mother-[bleep]
133
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:23,048
I'm a swamp hag!
[ Spectators murmuring ]
134
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,693
Order in the court.
135
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,049
Let her talk.
136
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,057
I gotta maintain my --
137
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,089
my translucence.
138
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,434
Gotta stay wet as [bleep]
139
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,261
The swamp keeps my hair
and my down there
140
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,466
in a constant state of squish.
141
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,929
That's my thing.
142
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:43,767
[ Slowly ]
I am a swamp hag!
143
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,444
Now, I said my piece.
144
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:49,084
Anybody got, like,
a bucket of crawdads
145
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,739
or a loaf of moldy bread?
146
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,108
No?
147
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,605
Oh [bleep] all y'all.
148
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,977
[ Microphone feedback ]
149
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,345
Order, order!
150
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,586
Yo, it's me, G.
151
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,161
Dog Dog.
152
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,089
Got that jolting J., y'all.
153
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,934
Got the hat floating
on my pate, pate.
154
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,960
Absolutely no bottoms, yo,
155
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,796
'cause global warming
be real real.
156
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,302
Hey, peaces to my Lisas.
157
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,774
Name's Dog Dog, man.
158
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:22,979
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
159
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,810
* We have cocks
160
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:26,806
* Cock cocks
161
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:27,977
* Cock cocks
162
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,945
* We have cocks
163
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,083
* Cock cocks
164
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,418
* Cock cocky cocks
165
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,752
* There are Cheetos
on the floor *
166
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,017
* There are Cheetos
on the floor *
167
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,356
* We have cocks
168
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,791
* Cock cocks
169
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,527
* Cock cocks
170
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,267
You say you're better than me
at Geology?
171
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,339
Ha! Yeah, right,
calcite.
172
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,498
In your dreams,
Plasticine.
173
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,468
Har har, feldspar.
I mean, get mina-real.
174
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,807
[ Chuckles ]
Gotta say no, isotope.
175
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,013
Like hell, common shale.
176
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,184
My ass, noble gas.
177
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,882
Screw you, archipelago.
178
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,684
You wish, fossil fish.
179
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,216
Go home, limestone.
Whatever.
180
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,652
Na-uh, gypsum.
181
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,387
No way, yellow cake.
182
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,891
Get lost, permafrost.
183
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,363
Take a hike, quartzite.
184
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,361
Suck a [bleep]
metamorphic.
185
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:14,493
Damn it, granite.
186
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,628
Is your ass sick,
Jurassic?
187
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:19,404
The teacher loves me more,
ocean floor.
188
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,372
She's mine, alkaline.
189
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:24,541
We're actually
best friends.
190
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,506
MAN: Donald Sutherland-flavored
potato ships.
191
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,212
It's just not a meal
without 'em.
192
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:36,754
Now with even more of that
sweet, savory D.S. kick.
193
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,554
The other brands just don't know
how to bring across
194
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:43,017
that full flavor
of Donald Sutherland.
195
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,526
But we know.
And we bring it.
196
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,899
From the Sutherland
to your land.
197
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:53,429
Come on, Bubba.
You know you want some.
198
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,068
That's why I SCUBA dive.
199
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,407
All of the snorkelers,
200
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,741
they all wish they could get
the views
201
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,907
that we certified divers
can get.
202
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:10,176
I'm talking caves,
I'm talking deeper water,
203
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:13,847
I'm talking sea floor
and long, long --
204
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:18,557
* Butch Cassidy,
Sundance Kid *
205
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:26,472
* Butch Cassidy,
Sundance Kiiiiiid-d! *
206
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,982
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
207
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,250
Rule number four --
never publicly floss,
208
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,050
pick, spit, blow, expel,
or stretch.
209
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,294
Stay likable, my friends.
210
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,887
* One, two, three
211
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,422
* We got a 30-pack
212
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:54,328
* In a plastic sack
213
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:57,131
* We got a 30-pack
214
00:09:57,164 --> 00:10:00,634
* In a plastic sack
215
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,168
* Well, let me tell
the tale *
216
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,942
* Of an ordinary Thursday
217
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,441
* Me and mine feeling fine,
but kind of thirsty *
218
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,783
* We roll up to the store
219
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,478
* On the street
by Billy Crudup's *
220
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,479
* And we tell the man
to give us what we want *
221
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,411
* We got a 30-pack
222
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:17,177
* In a plastic sack
223
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,987
* We got a 30-pack
224
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,620
* In a plastic sack
225
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:24,856
* And we're cool
226
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,527
MAN: You can't quit.
227
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:32,532
You are a champion.
228
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,965
Your name is not Brian.
229
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:39,013
You are Doo Doo Man.
230
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:44,679
And now you are going to run
for president.
231
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:47,352
* Ain't gonna hear that
232
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,550
[ Hip-hop playing ]
233
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,800
Bye-bye.
234
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:05,672
Chirp.
235
00:11:05,722 --> 00:11:10,272
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
15762
