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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,502 Miss, I'm done here. 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:04,770 Oh, I've been done here for years. 3 00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,939 You don't see me getting a parade. 4 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,910 Oh, looks like we lost electricity. 5 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:16,715 Uh-oh, all the food in the refrigerator will go worse. 6 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,617 Is it a bad sign that 7 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:22,054 I can actually see everything better? 8 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:25,824 Well, we finally found lighting that made the food look edible. 9 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,626 Yeah, it's almost dark enough for Caroline 10 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:30,062 to agree to have sex in here. 11 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:34,033 Max, have you ever seen balls in light? 12 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,736 They're not pretty. 13 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,506 Nobody panic! 14 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,307 The power is out in the whole building. 15 00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:47,179 We've got less energy than a Steely Dan concert. 16 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,014 Han, you look exactly like 17 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:52,251 a Doozer from "Fraggle Rock" right now. 18 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,386 All right, we've got to keep the diner safe 19 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,355 from hooligans and looters. 20 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,257 You're still on the clock! 21 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,560 And you're on my foot. 22 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,930 Sorry, Earl, I can't see you in the dark... 23 00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:09,768 But not in a racist way. 24 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,438 And I can't see you in the light 25 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,506 in a short way. 26 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,009 Han, who would loot this diner? 27 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:20,813 Unless they're looters looking specifically for disappointment. 28 00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,685 Max? 29 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,887 Just taking this vodka 30 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,090 and cash register to a safe place. 31 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,774 Our new dessert bar is under construction 32 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,975 and it's not quite there yet. 33 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,410 Kind of like the credit card bill 34 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,278 I lied about mailing, 35 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,116 but I've chosen you two to be the first to get a preview. 36 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,651 She invited other people. They said, "No." 37 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,921 She told me there would be some hard candy. 38 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:06,125 Better be some hard candy. 39 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,427 I have peppermints inside. 40 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,929 Then we're fine. 41 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,102 So it doesn't look like much now, 42 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,905 but with a little moxie and a lot of work, 43 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,507 it's gonna be gorgeous. 44 00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,842 Like Khlo� Kardashian. 45 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:27,179 Is that the one that's a dude now? 46 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:33,385 Okay, where's my treat? 47 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,654 Impressive, 48 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,589 and you've stolen almost nothing 49 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,725 from the diner to do this. 50 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:44,796 Oh, wait, I see my sport coat is being used as a paint rag. 51 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,199 That coat's yours? 52 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,636 I thought it belonged to a service Chihuahua. 53 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:55,040 Hey, everybody. 54 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:59,945 Oh, yeah. 55 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:02,414 Hubba, hubba, hot stuff. 56 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,149 You know, if I were still single, 57 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:07,319 I'd let you spackle my hole. 58 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,556 You heard what she said, beefcake. 59 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,924 I'm not gay. 60 00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:14,826 I'm just very pro-harassment. 61 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,662 I'm proud of you, girls. 62 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:18,664 You're making your dreams come true, 63 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,633 and my dreams, too, assuming you'll allow me 64 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:22,834 to start a tab here. 65 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,504 I'll never pay. 66 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,073 Does this mean you're not paying your tab at the diner? 67 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,876 Uh-huh. 68 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,077 Earl? 69 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,313 He walks fast when he wants to. 70 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,216 I gotta get going too. 71 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,984 You know, we just came from the baby doctor, 72 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,719 and he put me on bed rest. 73 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:44,790 At first I thought the doctor said, "Bed arrest,' 74 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:47,559 which is one of my favorite games. 75 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,995 Sophie, what's wrong? Are you okay? 76 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,264 Well, I'm five months along, 77 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,366 and the baby already weighs 15 pounds, 78 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,369 so the doctor's just a little worried. 79 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,404 He's afraid it'll fall out 80 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,708 like a watermelon through a plastic grocery bag. 81 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,744 Come on, baby, let's get you in bed 82 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,145 and get your legs up. 83 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,981 I can't believe none of this has to do with sex. 84 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,382 Yeah. 85 00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:13,018 Knock, knock. It's Randy. 86 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,486 I got a six-pack... 87 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,323 And I brought some beers. 88 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:21,059 Who wants some warm, wet, deli beer? 89 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:23,462 This is why you're the best boyfriend ever. 90 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,631 Warm, wet deli beer is the official drink 91 00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,166 of my personality. 92 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,935 So, Randy, look. 93 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,271 What do you think of the new bar space? 94 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,172 I've got a bar-related question. 95 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,108 How you gonna fit in the bar? 96 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,610 It's all right here on the blueprints, see? 97 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,746 The bar goes here, so that leaves ten feet 98 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,015 for the cafe tables and the front door entrance. 99 00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:45,517 Uh, you see this number ten right here? 100 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:50,155 You see the two dashes after it? Those are inches, not feet. 101 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,426 You got 10 inches. 102 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:58,263 First time I've ever been disappointed with 10 inches. 103 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,634 Well, that's the last time I get an architect 104 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:06,305 from the "casual encounters" section of Craigslist. 105 00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,939 Ugh. 106 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,942 The lady from the pizza place next door is banging back again. 107 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,812 Yeah, they should pay less attention to our business 108 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,414 and more attention to their own. 109 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,249 There's so much oil on their pizza, 110 00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:19,151 the U.S. might invade it. 111 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,352 You know what? 112 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,753 I think we've just 113 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,055 blown past "warm beers." 114 00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:24,556 I'm gonna go get us some whiskey. 115 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,326 10 inches always looks a whole lot bigger with bourbon. 116 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,763 Oh, my God, Max, we need more space. 117 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:35,000 I know; we spend way too much time together. 118 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,368 Hey! 119 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:40,505 Enough with the noise, cupcake bitches. 120 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,543 You gotta stop with this freakin' racket already. 121 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,412 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, Gina. 122 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,748 What, 'cause I'm Italian, 123 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,184 my name's gotta be Gina? 124 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:55,954 It's Angie. Gina's my middle name. 125 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,591 Oh, I thought your middle name was "bangs a lot." 126 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,794 Angie, we're expanding our shop, 127 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,763 and we have a permit for the construction, 128 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,298 so it's above board. 129 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,700 Which, yes, even I'm surprised about. 130 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,370 You got a permit to destroy my business? 131 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:14,539 Nobody wants to eat pizza 132 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:18,043 next to this constant freaking racket. 133 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:21,546 What's your freaking point? 134 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,749 Max, I didn't know you spoke Italian. 135 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,485 Follow me. 136 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,954 I want yous to see the hell you're making. 137 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,856 Um, that's a firm pass. 138 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,758 - I'll throw in a free slice. - Okay. 139 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,268 See? 140 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,569 See what you're doing to our office 141 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,471 from all that banging next door? 142 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,273 You're destroying it. 143 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,275 Uh, look, you can't destroy a room 144 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:53,745 that has this strong of a "hostage basement" vibe. 145 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,915 You got cracks, and falling plaster, 146 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,417 and my brother and I are fed up. 147 00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:00,152 Right, Angelo? 148 00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:02,053 He says, "Right." 149 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,922 He's my twin. 150 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,358 We agree with our minds. 151 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,594 Um, Angie, when do we get that free slice? 152 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,663 Not to be pushy, but a deal is a deal, 153 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,932 and today's a carb day for me. 154 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,437 What the frig? 155 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:22,040 I just got my hair cut for our high school reunion. 156 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,475 Now it's ruined. 157 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:28,547 It's a frickin' war zone in here! 158 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,049 My father would be turning in his grave 159 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:34,486 if we'd been able to give him a proper burial. 160 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,087 How you gonna make this right? 161 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,423 Look, Angie and Angelo, 162 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,459 we're sorry about the inconvenience, 163 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,394 but it'll just be another week of construction. 164 00:07:42,396 --> 00:07:44,729 We promise to keep the noise down to a minimum. 165 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,465 Right, Max? 166 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,667 She's agreeing with her mind. 167 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,937 Hey, just came by to see if everything's okay, 168 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,506 and to say I've never seen the statue of David 169 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:57,209 with a slice of pizza over his junk. 170 00:07:57,211 --> 00:08:00,412 Who's this hunk of gabbagoul? 171 00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:02,781 This hunk is Randy, and he's my... 172 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:06,485 Lawyer, and I'm sure he's here to make sure there's no problem. 173 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,953 There's not problem, right, Angie? 174 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:11,723 The only problem I see now is that shirt on him. 175 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,862 Hi, I'm Angie, 176 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:21,266 but I'm thinking about changing my name to yours. 177 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:24,169 Props, that's a good line. 178 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:27,272 So, Angie, what do you think? 179 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,241 Can you stand another week of the construction? 180 00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:32,244 All right. 181 00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:34,012 I'll give yous two another week, 182 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,780 'cause of Randy here, 183 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:38,350 but that's the last thing I ever do for you two. 184 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:42,120 You, I'd do whatever you want.. 185 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:46,124 tonight and in perpetuity. 186 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,659 "Perpetuity"? 187 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:51,563 Better not be Italian for "the butt." 188 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,138 Guys, 189 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,608 I have a genius idea to fix the dessert bar problem. 190 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,678 What if somehow we could convince Angie 191 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,048 to let us break through the wall and rent out their back office? 192 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:13,652 Come on! 193 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,621 This is a genius idea. 194 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,457 Their business is struggling, 195 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,960 and we could pay them rent. 196 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,628 It's either that or we have to use 197 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:26,097 dollhouse furniture for the dessert bar. 198 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,299 You know what? She's right. 199 00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:28,900 It is a good idea. 200 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,570 You just gotta figure out a way to get on Angie's good side. 201 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:34,739 Maybe you bring her a bouquet of cigarettes. 202 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,043 Okay, Caroline, the only thing Angie likes about us is him, 203 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,879 and honestly, the only thing I like about us is him. 204 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:43,148 That's perfect; we should bring Randy over there 205 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,516 when we go ask her. 206 00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:47,118 Randy, this has got to work, 207 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,486 so wear a tight shirt, 208 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,789 and maybe put a little Parmesan behind your ears. 209 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,029 Uh. 210 00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:01,533 So, Angelo, any idea when your sister is getting back? 211 00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:07,939 Well, it is a long commute from hell. 212 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,475 Oh... 213 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,876 Hi, Randy. 214 00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:15,513 I would make out with you, but I just got a manicure, 215 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,550 and I like to use my nails. 216 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,953 Next time. 217 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,556 So we came here with a business proposition, 218 00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:26,691 and some delicious cupcakes. 219 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,159 I'll need the plate back. 220 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,462 Get those away from me! 221 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,031 I'm going to my reunion in a dress so tight 222 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,166 you could see the kidney Angelo gave me 223 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:39,437 from when I had renal failure from drinking too much Tab. 224 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,942 First of all, Angie, Max and I are so glad 225 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,978 to hear that you pulled through from the renal failure, 226 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,948 but the real reason we're here is... 227 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,517 did you see Randy? 228 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:53,718 Look, let's move this along. 229 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:54,953 We want to bust through this wall 230 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,588 and rent your little pizza hut here. 231 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:57,789 Well, I'm in charge, 232 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,357 and I'm not renting to yous two. 233 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,892 I don't have time for this. 234 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,328 I still don't have a date for my reunion tomorrow, 235 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,030 and this stress is bad for my face. 236 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:08,566 I already have more filler than a two-hour "Dateline." 237 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,571 Angie, how does a woman like you 238 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,774 not have a date for your reunion? 239 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,776 I mean, not to be too forward, 240 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,211 but hot magenta really brings out your eyes. 241 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,314 Well, you're not wrong. 242 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,017 You know what would be wrong? 243 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,486 If Randy didn't take you 244 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,222 to your reunion tomorrow night. 245 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:34,459 Do you want to be punched in the face with my ring hand? 246 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,094 You know what? 247 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,929 That... 248 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,432 is a great idea. 249 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:44,035 Angie, I would be honored to take your to your reunion. 250 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,370 Oh, my God! 251 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,006 Really? 252 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,842 What about Angelo? What's he supposed to do? 253 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:55,613 Angelo, do you want to bring one of these two to the reunion? 254 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,483 They're not my type. 255 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,885 Two fives make a ten, right? 256 00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,059 Oleg! 257 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,228 I know we don't really have standards here, 258 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:14,599 but the customer said that her steak shouldn't do this. 259 00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:21,272 Well, tell her not to turn the plate upside down then. 260 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,007 I'm FaceTiming with Sophie. 261 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,209 She's lonely. 262 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:27,112 Say "hi" to Caroline. 263 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,948 I'm not that lonely. 264 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:33,318 Ugh, I just scrubbed a table. 265 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,819 That is how upset I am. 266 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:37,522 I should have never let Randy go to that reunion. 267 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,424 And I should have never 268 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,761 let Buddy Holly get on that plane, 269 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,095 but what're you gonna do? 270 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:47,499 Other than play it over and over again 271 00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:50,168 in your mind for 60 years. 272 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,070 Max, it'll all be worth it 273 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,105 when we get that extra space for our dessert bar. 274 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,741 Why would God make Randy look like that 275 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,210 if not to help us get stuff? 276 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,812 I'm worried about Randy. 277 00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,647 He is strong, but she has the strength 278 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,616 of ten horny women. 279 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:07,085 Somebody talk to me. 280 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,187 I'm dying here. 281 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:12,590 I just watched all eight seasons of "Perfect Strangers." 282 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,927 I'm...I'm just...I'm... I'm Balki'd out. 283 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,898 I just felt a shift in the force. 284 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,634 Did somebody clean a table over there? 285 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,902 Is everything okay? 286 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,904 She's upset because Angie 287 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,006 from the pizza parlor next door needed a date 288 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,441 to her high school reunion, and Randy took her. 289 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,510 Well, that's hurtful. 290 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,579 I've asked Angie out twice. 291 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,582 They're not on a real date, Han. 292 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,450 He's just trying to convince her 293 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,885 to let us rent their back office. 294 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,954 Randy's wasting his time. 295 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,590 It's actually Angie's delightful brother Angelo 296 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,091 who controls the lease. 297 00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:49,494 Angelo's in charge? 298 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,197 Angelo's "delightful"? 299 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:55,366 Ugh, I am so bored 300 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:59,637 that I just got a degree from DeVry University. 301 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:04,042 So she tricked Randy 302 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,710 into going to that reunion with her? 303 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,779 I am going to the high school 304 00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:09,514 to get my man back... oh, my God, 305 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,516 I sound just like my mother. 306 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,852 We should go there and sweet-talk Angelo 307 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,386 into giving us the space. 308 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,822 Oh, but we're "not his type," 309 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,791 which is a shame, because I really wanted some of 310 00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:22,894 that 50-year-old video-game-addict money. 311 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:25,296 Well, where are we gonna get tacky dresses 312 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,131 and hair from 1986? 313 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,835 I can make you look like it's 1986 314 00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:34,939 'cause I lived in Poland in 2003! 315 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:55,894 How you doin'? 316 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:58,263 Oh, Jimmy Vecchio! 317 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,499 It's Max...Blackilini. 318 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,635 Doesn't ring a bell. 319 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:04,836 What about me? 320 00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:06,237 It's Caroline... 321 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,007 uh, Cacciatore! 322 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:12,911 Didn't we take math together with Mr. Bag-a-two-shoes? 323 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:14,646 Never heard of him. 324 00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:17,415 Eh! - Forget about it. 325 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,451 Oh, there's Angelo 326 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,819 dancing by himself. 327 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,955 No surprise there. 328 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:27,191 Wow, I've never seen a sweat-suit tux. 329 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,594 Angelo. 330 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,462 It's Max and Caroline 331 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,797 from next door. 332 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,399 Um, you probably don't recognize us. 333 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,501 I'm hoping no one does. 334 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,369 What? I can't hear you 335 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,405 with the babe alarm going off. 336 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,541 Whee-ooh, whee-ooh. 337 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:47,378 Oh, well, same to you. 338 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,781 What is that, terry cloth? 339 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,150 Actually, we came here to talk to you 340 00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,451 because we wanted to ask you 341 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,119 about renting out your back office. 342 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,921 We know you're the big cheese. 343 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,957 You know, since you're here, 344 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,558 maybe we, uh, cut a rug? 345 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:04,996 She hasn't cut her rug in about four months, so... 346 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,101 We could, uh, start off on the dance floor, 347 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,136 and if we happen to end up 348 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:15,340 in the back of an '86 Cutlass Supreme, 349 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,809 so be it. 350 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,812 So be it. Forget about it. 351 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,080 Excuse us. 352 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,649 Max, I am not a whore. 353 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:28,219 That's not what your hair, dress, and makeup say. 354 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,422 Look, you pimped Randy out for that extra space, 355 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,724 and now it's your turn. 356 00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:34,859 You want that back room, make it happen. 357 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:37,595 On the count of three, 358 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,797 say "sex." 359 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,700 You handle Angelo. 360 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,235 I've been wanting to kill someone 361 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,971 for using a selfie stick, and she is the lucky one. 362 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:50,074 Angie, God rest your soul, 363 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,777 get your hands off my boyfriend. 364 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,912 Max, what're you doing here? 365 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,248 Please tell me that's a wig. 366 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,317 She tricked you into coming here. 367 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,719 She is not in charge of the pizza place. 368 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:05,490 Her brother is. This is my hair. 369 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,225 Angie, is that true? 370 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,627 Did I do the Electric Slide for nothing? 371 00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:10,995 Well, not for nothing. 372 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:14,432 We came in second in the dance competition. 373 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,634 Okay, fine, it's true. 374 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,836 Angelo's in charge. 375 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,805 My father thought he was the smarter one 376 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,408 because he wore glasses as a kid. 377 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:26,144 Randy, are you okay? 378 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:29,814 Did the bad lady touch you in any of the good places? 379 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,216 Look, I'm sorry I lied, 380 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,585 but for what it's worth, I'm having the night of my life. 381 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:38,022 Believe it or not, I wasn't popular in high school. 382 00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,857 I didn't date a football player 383 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:42,560 or get pregnant. 384 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,096 For once, I just wanted to show up a winner. 385 00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,899 - Hey, Ange! - Oh, no. 386 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,200 Here comes Michelle Pascucci. 387 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,569 Please, don't ruin this for me. 388 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,238 Who's this, Ange? 389 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,474 What's she doing holding on to your fianc� 390 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,944 like he's the last cannoli at a wake? 391 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,482 Forgot to tell you, I got engaged. 392 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,850 Wait. 393 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,686 Unless that's not really your boyfriend. 394 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:12,423 'Cause, uh, you're known to lie. 395 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,625 Well... 396 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,627 she's not lying. 397 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,997 He's been cheating on me with her for years. 398 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:23,534 I, uh, caught 'em at the Olive Garden. 399 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,972 I smell a catfight, 400 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,775 and Drakkar Noir. 401 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,944 Catfight! 402 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:36,114 Oh, come here, bitch. Oh! 403 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,783 - Just follow my lead. - Okay, careful. 404 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,618 I spent $65 on my hair. 405 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,488 I was hoping not to touch it till next week. 406 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:47,291 Don't touch my arm, bitch! Oh! 407 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,094 Oh, I shouldn't touch your arm? 408 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:53,498 Maybe you shouldn't touch my guy. 409 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,236 Finally, this party's getting good. 410 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,638 Push me back. 411 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,206 Oh! 412 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,175 Did you just push me? 413 00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:07,111 Yeah, I pushed you, 414 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:10,348 but not as hard as your boyfriend 415 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:13,551 was pushing me in the back of the car. 416 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,654 Oh, hell no, bitch! 417 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,823 Now... OH! 418 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:22,793 I told you not to touch my hair! 419 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:25,029 Oh! - Oh, my God! 420 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,832 She's got a freakin' knife! 421 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,901 All right, I'm out, 422 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:32,069 but only because... 423 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,971 I'm on parole 424 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:37,842 for pulling out a woman's bangs on the F Train. 425 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,977 Let's get out of here, Ange. 426 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,612 Is my hair dented? 427 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:45,283 I'll fix it, hun. I got a chopstick in my purse. 428 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,821 Get over here, you sloppy second. 429 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,089 Wow. 430 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,859 I kind of like having a knight in shining... 431 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,395 what is this, aluminum foil? 432 00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:00,064 Well, it is warming up the ravioli I put in my bra. 433 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,868 Max, can I have this dance? 434 00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:11,642 So you think you and I would have dated in high school? 435 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:14,779 Well, when I was in high school, you were in your 30s, 436 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:15,980 so... 437 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,915 yeah, that sounds right. 438 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:21,619 I just convinced Angelo to let us rent the back office. 439 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,155 I mean, I may have to be his date to the Auto Show. 440 00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:26,123 Wear something nice. 441 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,125 Like a silk blouse 442 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,027 or a bikini. 443 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,864 He wants to show me off. 444 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:37,568 I never went to anything like this. 445 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,070 A reunion or a prom 446 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,005 or a class. 447 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,440 What do you do at these things? 31664

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