All language subtitles for The Munsters s01e35 Hermans Happy Valley.engg

Lily, Grandpa, Marilyn?

Daddy's home.

Oh! Hello, dear.

My, you look happy today.

I am happy, Lily,

because, as we say
down at the parlor,

this has been a very
monumental day.

Has something happened,
Uncle Herman? Yes, Marilyn.

I have some wonderful
news! Uh, where's Grandpa?

Here I am, Herman. I
was down in the dungeon...

helping Eddie fix his train set.

Oh.

Sounds as though
you got it fixed.

Well, Herman, don't keep us hanging
in midair. What's your wonderful news?

Well, it's vacation time again,

and I have purchased
a beautiful hideaway...

where we can all relax and
enjoy our leisure moments.

Translation: Somebody
stuck him with a piece of junk.

No such thing.

I bought 10 acres in Happy Holiday
Valley through an ad in a magazine.

You bought 10 acres by mail?

You see here?

With the purchase
of any home site,

we get the use of their
wonderful recreational facilities,

excellent transportation,
and it's smog-free.

That means you
don't have to pay for it.

Uh, plenty of water.
Close to schools...

Oh, Herman, it sounds wonderful.

"For family fun and relaxation,
come to Happy Holiday Valley."

Even I'll have to admit, that
sounds like the kind of place...

I'd like to be found dead in.

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Aunt Lily?

I'm ready to leave. Is there
anything I can help you with?

No. I was just pulling
down the blinds,

so the house will look gloomy
and lived in while we're gone.

Oh, we're all going to have
such a wonderful vacation.

I'll say! Bring on the girls!

Now, you get back in your clock!

When is that silly bird
going to get girls off his mind?

Nevermore, nevermore.

Get!

Well, I guess
everything's ready.

Good-bye, Spot!

Mom, wouldn't it be better
if we left Spot in the garage?

Oh, no, Eddie. No.
Last time we did,

he drank all the gasoline
out of the power mower.

And then he got the hiccups and
melted all the wrought-iron furniture.

Are you ready to leave,
Grandpa? Just a minute.

All set?

All set.

Herman? Herman, where are you?

I'll be right with you, Lily.

I'm, uh talking to the real estate
office that handles our property,

and I'm letting him know that
we're coming up to Happy Valley.

That's right. This
is Herman Munster.

I bought 10 acres from your ad.

It-It was in that magazine,
the Jujitsu Annual.

Ah, yes. One of our
many satisfied customers.

Who is it? That
Munster character...

The one that fell for our
ad in that crummy magazine.

Uh, yes, Mr. Munster.
What can I do for you?

Well, Mr. Walters, I
thought I'd take the

family out for a spin
today to see our property.

Uh, sir, do I
understand you to say...

you are going up to
Happy Holiday Valley?

That's right. We plan
to take advantage...

of your excellent
recreational facilities, your

wonderful transportation
and your marvelous...

Uh, sir, uh, when are
you planning to go?

- Today.
- Today?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, hello?

Hmm. Must have been cut off.

I hope he doesn't think I hung up on him.
He sounded like such a pleasant fellow.

Oh, well.

Well, it's on to
Happy Holiday Valley.

Well, here we are...
Happy Holiday Valley.

You know, Herman,

I had heard that these real estate
brochures were inclined to exaggerate.

But this is more beautiful
than they described it.

Oh, it's just... it's just
absolutely breathtaking.

Uh, just as advertised.

There are the superb
transportation facilities.

Oh, and look!

Plenty of water!

Mmm. Nice and soft. Not
like the hard water at home.

And look! There's a
playground for kids!

Ooh! And here
are the excellent...

entertainment and
recreational facilities.

Well, I must say... Hmph!

You know, this is a
real s winging place!

It appears that it was fortunate running
into you gentlemen. Yes, it certainly was.

As I understand it, Mr. Curtis, you
represent, uh, Cunningham Aeronautics.

We were happy to cancel our
quick trip to Mexico to talk to you.

Good. Now, then.

We have plans
to use that area...

in and around your Happy
Holiday Valley property...

as a missile site.

I'm here to make you a flat offer of
$50,000 for the entire piece of land.

- It's a deal.
- Barney...

The man offered
$50,000, partner.

I'm sure you will
go along with me.

Yes, Barney. Fine.

This is our initial proposal.

I'll be back first thing in the
morning to finalize the deal.

Good. We'll see you then.

Good day. Good day.

Barney, we don't own all
of Happy Holiday Valley.

We unloaded some of it
to that Munster character.

Gil, baby, Munster's going up to
look at the property today, right?

Right. Okay.

So he takes one look at
that hunk of junk he bought,

we offer to refund his two grand,
which he takes back like that,

and we're in the clear
for the Cunningham deal.

Yes, but, uh, do
you think it'll work?

Look. Anyone who falls for an
ad like ours has got to be a sucker.

This Munster sounds
like a real live one.

A real live one.

Golly. I haven't had a bite since we've
been here. Patience, Eddie. Patience.

But, gee, wouldn't it be better if
we fished in a stream with water in it?

Eddie, anyone can fish
in a stream with water in it.

This is a challenge...

The kind of challenge the youth
of today is so badly in need of.

I got one.

I got one! I got one! Play
him, Grandpa! Play him!

- Don't let him get a way!
- Oh, boy. This is a whopper!

Stay with him,
Grandpa! Here he comes.

Oh, oh!

Isn't he a lovely one!

Isn't that a beauty?

Well, I for one am not
gonna be out-fished.

Well, the bait's still good.

Oh, dear me.

I'm afraid I've damaged
the recreational facilities.

Uh, pardon us. We're
looking for a Mr. Munster.

Well, I'm his niece, Marilyn.
He's not here right now.

Uh, perhaps you'd like
to talk with my Aunt Lily.

She's fixing supper. Aunt Lily!

Uh, good day, Mrs. Munster.

I'm Mr. Walters, and this
is my partner, Mr. Crane.

We, uh, sold you
folks the property.

No!

You mean, you sold us
this property? Uh, yes.

But put that down.
Violence'll get you no place.

Oh! I was just stirring
up some oxtail soup.

Oh, I can't tell you how
much we love this place.

- You love this place?
- Mmm.

It's beautiful. Isn't it,
Marilyn? Oh, it's lovely.

Uh, look, madam, I think there's
something you should know.

Uh, this is nothing
but a ghost town.

A ghost town! Isn't
that wonderful, Marilyn?

Maybe we'll have company
dropping in on us over the weekend.

Oh. Excuse us a minute.

My oxtail soup
is getting restless.

What do you think?

Maybe they heard about
the Cunningham missile deal,

and they're just trying
to boost the price up.

That's right. I'll offer them
double their money back.

- Now, you were saying?
- I'll get right down to cases, Mrs. Munster.

We're ready to pay you double your
money if you'll sell us the property back.

Oh, my, no.

We're all so crazy about it, and I'm sure
my husband wouldn't sell it at any price.

Good day, gentlemen.

Come on, Gil. I
got another angle.

Uh, thank you for
your time, madame.

And thank you for your flattering
offer. But you understand.

It's so hard to find a good vacation
spot since they closed down Devil's Island.

Yes. Well, uh, good-bye.

You said you had an
angle, Barney. What was it?

Get in.

Look. We can't
buy the place back,

so we'll scare 'em off, see?

This is a ghost
town, right? Right.

So tomorrow night, we'll
turn it into a real ghost town.

Now, these Munsters are
going to be nervous anyway,

spending their first
night in this dump.

Wait till they hear strange voices
and screams and the whole works.

They'll go out of their
skulls, and tomorrow

they'll be begging us
to take the place back.

Barney, that's a $50,000 idea.

Here we are.

How does it look? Oh, Grandpa!

That's lovely. Just
what the room needed.

Eddie, it's almost time
for you to go to bed.

When are you and your father
going to be through with the comics?

Just a second, Mom.

"And then the mechanical men
disintegrated all the spider people,

"and they disappeared
in a ball of flame.

Ooh! "Once again,
good had triumphed...

over the forces of
evil from outer space."

Oh, boy, Eddie. Uh,
that was a good one.

Uh, read me another one.

I can't now, Pop. I
have to go to bed.

Oh, darn, darn! Lily?

- Just one more?
- No, Herman.

Eddie has to get to bed.

Could I have my cowboy
outfit back now, Pop?

I'm not though playing
with it yet, Eddie.

All right. Good night,
Pop. Good night, son.

Bartender?

See what the boys in
the back room will have.

Herman, will you
stop playing cowboy...

and go outside and get
some wood for the fire?

Right away, dear.

Reach for the ceiling!

Jesse James!

Hmm. And it looks
so easy on television.

Herman. The firewood.

Yes, Lily.

Oh! Some daughters marry doctors.
Some daughters marry dentists.

You had to marry Henny Youngman.

Never mind, Grandpa.

Oh, there's some!

I think Herman's
found some wood.

Don't you just love
to watch a fire? Lily,

I've seen Chicago, San
Francisco and the burning of Rome.

You've seen one,
you've seen 'em all!

Uh, here's the wood, Lily. Ooh!

Where'd you get all
the wood, Herman?

I had to break up
a building, dear.

I do hope there
was no one in it.

Oh, Lily, I've been thinking
about those two men.

You said they were so anxious to
buy this property back. I wonder why.

Oh, it's very simple, dear.
They probably realized...

what a paradise
it really is here.

Gil, we'll have these
Munsters running in no time.

Yeah, we'll really scare 'em.

What's the matter? That.

"Died June 6." There's
a story going around...

that Big Billy comes back every
year and really spooks this place.

And today is June 6.

You big dummy. That's just a
story made up for the tourists...

to give the place some glamour.

I'm glad it's just a story,
because the last guy...

I want to run into
tonight is Big Billy.

Well, I think I'll
toddle upstairs to bed.

Good night, pussycat.

Good night, dear.
I'll be right up.

What a great
place for a vacation.

You know, this reminds me of the
places I used to haunt in the Old Country.

We used to sit around the fireplace
just like this and talk to our relatives,

some of whom we hadn't
seen in hundreds of years.

Oh, yes. Hardly
a night went by...

when someone didn't
try to get in touch with us.

I remember...

Wh... What was that?

Grandpa,

someone's trying to
get in touch with us.

Yep.

It's my no-good Cousin Humphrey.
I'd recognize his knock anywhere.

- Grandpa, aren't you going
to answer him? - Not me.

We haven't spoken since he stole
my aspirin during the Black Plague.

Hey, they're just ignoring us.

Yeah.

Here, this'll get
'em. You got a dime?

??

Listen to that Cousin Humphrey.
He always was a rotten piano player.

Knock it off, Humphrey.

??

I said, knock it off.

??

Just our luck. That no-good
piano conks out on us now.

Well, I'm not gonna let
Humphrey spoil my evening.

Why don't we all go to bed?

How do you like that?
They're going up to bed!

What are you doin'?

We'll let 'em get to sleep.

Then we'll give 'em
the real scare treatment.

Barney, don't do
that! Oh, cut it out!

It's just us!

Here. Get into this.

Herman? Herman?

Yes, Captain Kangaroo, I will
brush my teeth ev-every day.

Herman, wake up! It's me!

Hmm? What? Hmm? Huh?

What's the matter, dear?

I heard a noise downstairs! Hmm?

There it is again. Mm-hmm.

That was a noise, all right.

Herman! Herman, there's
someone downstairs!

Now, you go right down
there and see who it is!

Oh, all right,
dear, if I have to.

What are you doing with
Eddie's hat and cap pistols?

Lily, you never know
what you might run into.

I saw a Western
on television once,

and Nick Adams
was prowling around.

Barney, somebody's comin'!

Good! Wait till they
get a load of us!

Hmm. Must be some other guests.

Well, howdy, partners.
Well, I'll be hanged.

It's Big Billy! Back
from the dead!

Sir? Sir? Herman, what is it?

Hmm. They were two guests,

but I guess they
decided not to stay.

Shame, too, 'cause they
looked like a couple of fun fellas.

Hi, Mom.

Grandpa got the train
working real neat now.

Hey, are we going to Happy
Valley again for the next weekend?

I'm afraid not, Eddie.

Your father has just sold
all the property up there.

But, gee, that was the
only place we ever went to...

that seemed like home.

Now, now, Eddie.

You must not question
your old dad's decision.

Uh, that's right, Eddie.

We sold that property
to a very nice firm...

Cunningham Aeronautics.

These kind people are
working on a missile...

which, in time of trouble, is
gonna solve all our problems...

by blowing up the world.

Gee, Pop, if we can't
go to Happy Valley,

where will we
spend our vacations?

Eddie, that's, uh... That's
a very good question.

Eddie, we can always enjoy...

the peace and solitude...

of our own little
nest right here.

And as Frank Sinatra has said...

on so many occasions,

be it ever so humble,
there's no place like home.

Yes, Eddie.

Give me a house by
the side of the road,

and I'll be a friend to man.

I thought Edgar Allan
Poe was a crackup.

Ooh!

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