All language subtitles for The Munsters s01e20 Bats of a Feather.engg

But I tell you, Herman. If it has
to be a pet, our cat would be ideal.

Lily, you're just
being stubborn.

If Eddie is going to enter anything at the
school pet fair, Spot is just the animal.

He's a typical boy's pet.

Oh, Spot. There's
nothing clever about him.

Just tell me one thing he
can do besides chase trains.

Well, let's put it up
to Grandpa. Grandpa,

uh, which one of our
pets do you think Eddie

should take to the
pet fair playground?

There's no question about it.

Our cat. Or Spot?

Neither. Igor.

Igor? A bat?

Certainly. Didn't Eddie say that
one of the prizes was for intelligence?

Does that Spot have sense enough
to hang from the rafters by his toes?

Can that cat fly down to the corner
store for the evening newspaper?

Spot must be intelligent.

I-If not, why isn't he extinct
like the rest of his species?

But don't forget, Herman.
One of the things they

judge the children's
pets on is good grooming.

Spot can win that too. I told Eddie to work
on him and make him look his very best.

Hey, Dad. I don't think Spot wants
to be entered in the school fair.

He's hiding under the
stairs and won't come out.

- Now, Eddie, please.
- Can't you do something, Uncle Herman?

Marilyn...

Will you forget about Spot?
He's nothing but a big, stupid baby.

- Just a minute, Grandpa.
- Yes. Now, wait a minute, everybody.

You can handle this, Herman
dear. You coax him out.

You all seem to be forgetting.
I have a way with animals.

Hmm.

Come on, Spot.
Come on out, Spot.

Come on, Spot. Be a good boy.

This is your Uncle Hermie.

Now, Spot, come on out of there.

Come on out of there. Spot,
you're being a very bad boy.

You want to go to the school pet
fair with Eddie, don't you? Poopsy?

Well, I guess he seems
to be a little bit reluctant.

But, gee, I gotta have
a pet to take to school.

Eddie, if we leave
Spot alone for a while,

sooner or later he'll get hungry
and come out looking for somebody.

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Herman, I don't
care what you do.

You'll never be able to get
Spot to behave himself in school.

Eddie, I still think you
should take our cat.

But, gee, he
couldn't win anything.

He's just a plain, old
everyday house cat.

Well, I guess you're right.

In my opinion, Eddie, you
ought to take Igor to the pet fair.

Oh, that bat is the most
beautiful thing that flies.

Well, okay, now that I think
of it, Igor would be good.

He'd be smaller.

How do we know he'll
go for this? You know what

happened that time we
took him duck hunting.

That was terrible. He tried to fly
south with that flock of mallards.

Six weeks later, he came walking
home with his wings full of buckshot.

Good morning, Eddie, Grandpa.

Man, am I excited.

I bet I'll be the only kid with a real,
live, honest-to-goodness Transylvanian bat.

Well, as long as we couldn't
talk Spot into entering,

I guess we'll have to settle
for this silly fly-by-night.

You big dummy!

Igor, come back!

Goodness me. What
happened to him?

Wh-What happened to him? You
insulted him. That's what happened to him.

Igor. Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom!

There he goes. Oh,
Eddie, what's the matter?

Pop said mean things
about Igor, and he ran away.

I can't be the only kid in
school without a pet for the fair.

Oh, don't blame
your father too much.

Igor's always throwing tantrums.

Sometimes I think he's
nothing but a spoiled bat.

I can't go to school today.

All the kids are
gonna make fun of me.

Grandpa, I'm really
ashamed of myself.

I shouldn't have
opened my big mouth.

I let my boy down.

I'm a miserable
excuse for a father.

You know, Herman,
there's a lot of ham in you.

Don't blame me. They had
to use what was available.

Don't you worry, Herman.
Eddie will not be disappointed.

He's going to have a
pet to take to that fair.

In that case I'd like to
ask you one question.

- What?
- Not what.

Who.

Who? Me. That's who.

Grandpa, I have to admit it.

You're the greatest.

Father, I am deeply touched.

It's not every grandfather that
would do what you did for Eddie.

Shh. Here he comes now.

Oh. Here you go, son.

Now, handle it very carefully.

Igor isn't as young
as he used to be.

Good luck, Eddie. And
bring home a blue ribbon.

I bet I win first prize for
the most intelligent pet.

Well, I wouldn't count
on that too much.

Igor isn't as intelligent
as he used to be either.

You better hurry now, dear.

Say, where's Grandpa?

He's, uh, uh, hung
up in an experiment.

Uh, but he'll be with
you in spirit all the time.

Now you be a good boy. Okay.
Come on, Igor. Good-bye, everybody.

Good-bye. Good-bye.

Good luck. Good
luck, both of you.

You know, there's only
one bad feature about this.

If Grandpa does win over that
bunch of goldfish and hamsters,

there'll be no living with him.

Children, you've all
brought such interesting pets.

I'm sure your principal's going to
have trouble in choosing a winner.

Aren't you, Mr. Hazlett?
Yes, indeed, Miss Guthrie.

Oh, what lovely doves.

Johnny, that's just lovely.
Look at that squirrel.

Isn't he a cute little fellow?

Well, and what is
it we have here?

- It's me, Mr. Hazlett.
- No, Eddie. I mean in the cage.

Oh. It's my pet, Igor.

Oh.

Why, it's a bat.
Boy, what a neat pet.

Hey, Eddie, does it catch rats?
Only when it feels like dancing.

That's very nice, Eddie.

Uh, suppose you put the
cover back on the cage now.

But, gee, Mrs. Guthrie, Igor
hasn't done any of his tricks.

Well, what kind of
tricks can he do?

My pet, Igor, will
fly out of his cage,

circle the room twice and return
back to his cage on command.

Go, Igor.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, I bet Eddie
is proud of his pet.

And I'm sure Grandpa
is doing things that Igor

wouldn't have the
intelligence to think of.

I must say, I have to take
my hat off to Grandpa...

for changing himself
into a bat for Eddie's sake.

I know I wouldn't like to go
out in public looking grotesque.

But we don't want Grandpa giving
Eddie a false sense of values...

by catering to his every whim.

- Well, Eddie doesn't know it's Grandpa.
- He thinks it's Igor.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hello, Eddie. Hi, son.

Well, how did you
do at the pet fair?

How would you like to look at the
prizewinner for the most intelligent pet...

at Mockingbird Heights School?

Look.

Father, what have you done now?

Where's Igor?

Igor? Oh, I traded him off to
Timmy Brubaker for the squirrel.

Isn't he neat? Oh!

Oh! Eddie, you
naughty, naughty boy.

You traded your
grandfather for a squirrel?

There, there, Aunt Lily.
Now don't you worry.

I'm real sorry, Mom, but I
didn't know it was Grandpa.

Anyway, we only
traded for the weekend.

I'm sure he'll
be all right, Lily.

Sure. He'll be home in no time.

Boy, you should have seen him
flying after Miss Guthrie. Vroom!

Or he'll just change himself
back into his old self...

and walk home.

He can't change back to himself
in that small cage. There's no room.

Oh, Herman, what
are we gonna do?

I didn't live all these years to... to
end up as the daughter of a squirrel.

I hope those Brubakers don't
feed him peanuts and popcorn.

They always give
Grandpa heartburn.

No cause for concern. Eddie.

Yeah, Dad? Why don't
you go call your little friend,

tell him the deal is off and that he
can have his squirrel back for your bat.

Okay, Dad.

Herman, don't you think
you better call the Brubakers?

No, dear. It'll teach
Eddie self-reliance...

and how to handle little
problems like this when

they come up later on
in life with his own family.

Poor Grandpa. He was only
trying to do the right thing.

Come on.

Hello? Mrs. Brubaker?
Is Timmy there?

Oh, well, this is Eddie Munster.
You probably don't remember me.

Oh, you do remember me.

Gosh. I was only over
at your house once.

Well, I'm calling about the
bat I traded to Timmy today.

- You see, I have to
get it back. It's my grandfather. - Eddie.

Don't tell them that. They
might jack up the price.

I mean, it's a... A favorite
of my grandmother's.

Oh, it's not there.
Golly. They sold him.

- Sold him?
- Yeah. Timmy sold him to his father for 65 cents.

And Mr. Brubaker took
him down to where he works.

Where? Where? Ask
her where he works.

Where does Mr. Brubaker work?

Oh, that's nice. He
likes laboratories.

Oh, where is this laboratory?

Thanks a lot, Mrs. Brubaker.

Don't worry. There's
nothing that can hurt Grandpa.

Mr. Brubaker's a rocket expert
and works at a top secret space lab.

Oh. Well, that's simple.

We'll just go down to
the lab and pick him up.

Where is the lab, Eddie?

Washington, D.C.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Doctor.

Yes, Bruba... Here's a new
customer for our travel agency.

I... Just in time
too, Brubaker. Yes.

I brought him in on the plane with me
this morning. And guess what. What?

I bought him from
my son for 65 cents.

Sixty...

Let's put him over
here, Brubaker. Yes.

He certainly is a woolly
one, isn't he? Yes.

I've always wanted
to send a bat into orbit.

Ah.

Listen to that. It's almost
as if he understood us.

He's so eager to go.

We've known for some time that
bats, uh, possess some sort of radar.

Now we want to find out if their signals
can be picked up by our own equipment.

Ah. We're going to send
this little fellow into orbit,

and then we'll track him
with our equipment. Right.

You know what? I think we'll
send him up on that Thermal 2...

that's, uh, scheduled to be
blasted off tomorrow morning.

Oh, but, Dr. Grant, we haven't yet
succeeded in recovering a Thermal 2.

Oh, I know. But the,
uh, success of the

experiment doesn't
depend on that particular bat.

We can always get
another one, you know.

Poor bat.

This is peculiar,
Doctor. What's that?

Have you ever
known a bat to faint?

By Jove, it is
peculiar, isn't it?

Herman, don't press your
nose against the glass.

You'll get your
face all out of shape.

I'm sorry, Lily. It's just that it's my
first plane trip, and I'm so excited.

I'm worried about Grandpa.

Now, Lily, we'll be in
Washington in less than an hour.

Just settle back and
enjoy the trip the way I am.

Herman, what
are you doing? Lily,

Marilyn, Eddie... everybody out.

The propellers! The
propellers are gone!

Take it easy, Pop.
This is a jet plane.

Oh.

Of course.

You know, there is
something strange, Lily.

Before we took off, this
airplane was filled with people.

As soon as we came on and
sat down, they all got up and left.

Well, I... I guess maybe they
just came to see somebody off.

I wonder where
the stewardess is.

She hasn't come near
us since we took off.

I think she's probably new on the
job and a little nervous about flying.

Remember back at the
airport those two men had

to shove her on and
slam the door behind her?

Hey, Pop. Here comes
the girl with the food.

She's gotten over
her nervousness.

Miss, uh, uh, you're trembling.

Uh, if it's the fact that there are no
propellers, uh, you needn't worry.

It's a jet.

Thank you.

Slow down, Eddie.

Don't bolt your food. Okay.

Herman, she didn't
bring us any salt.

Oh. I'll call her.

Uh, miss? Uh, stewardess,
would you bring the salt, please?

Here you are, sir.

Hmm. You know, Lily,

I don't think that young lady has
the stuff to make a good stewardess.

Has that bat come to yet? Hmm?

Has that bat come to yet?

Oh. No.

But I put something in the cage next
to him that should bring him around...

A female bat.

Oh.

I thought they might as
well get used to one another.

I mean, after all, tomorrow
they blast off together.

Oh, that's such a good idea.

Let's leave them alone. Okay.

Hey, buddy, you been here long?

Got here Tuesday.
You're new, aren't you?

Yeah, just pulled in today.

What goes on in there anyway?

From what I hear, you just wouldn't believe
the weird things they build in there.

All kinds of kooky things
they send into outer space.

What do they look
like? Look like?

You don't think they'd
actually let us see 'em, do ya?

No, and I'm not sure
I want to anyway.

Well, here we are.

It's a shame we had to spend
all that money on a rented car.

It was impossible to
get a taxi at the airport.

I think the taxis are on strike.

When I hailed them, some
of the drivers abandoned

their cabs right in the
middle of the street.

Well, this is the
space lab, Pop.

But that signs says keep out.

And look at those
guards. So fierce-looking.

My gosh! So that's what
they're building in there.

Yeah. One of them
must have got out.

They must have built it to
send to outer space. Send out?

It looks more like
something they brought back.

Uh, pardon me. You'd better
get right back in there, mister.

Uh, m-master. Uh, sir.

They'll be looking for you.
Inside? In the laboratory?

Right this way, please.

We're... We're your friends,
you know. Thank you.

Uh, you dogfaces
are very polite.

See? See?

I told you. Your uncle can charm the
vultures out of the trees when he wants to.

Are you sure we'll be able to
accomplish the experiment tomorrow? Yes.

Excuse me. Yes, please.

Uh, gentlemen... Oh, dear.

I do believe that you
have a... Uh, gentlemen?

Oh, my. Oh!

No.

That's odd.

Well, genius.

Oh. There you are, Grandpa.

Come along.

You've been very,
very, very, very naughty.

Say, Brubaker. Not a scratch.

That thing certainly gave me
a fright walking in here like that.

Yes, but then I realize that must be
what Dr. Schweinhart and his associates...

have been working
on in such secrecy.

He always gets the most
interesting projects. Yes.

Oh, well. We have our
own work to do. Right.

Back to our bats. Yes.

I say, Brubaker, one
of them's missing.

That thing of Schweinhart's
must have taken it.

But why? Because Schweinhart
must have programmed him to do it.

That's his quaint idea of
humor, you know. Hmph.

Very unprofessional. Yes.

However, I only need this
one for the moment. Mmm.

I want to test his reflexes.

I say, Brubaker,
what's he doing?

I'm not sure. But if he were a human being,
I'd say that he was having a tantrum.

Uh-uh-uh. Tsk, tsk,
tsk. Temper. Temper.

Easy, boy. Easy,
easy, easy, easy.

That's it. Yeah.

He's a nice guy, isn't he?

Easy. I want to show
you something, Brubaker.

This over here will do fine.

You know, I'm really
going to miss him. Oh.

I want you to watch
how his radar works now.

I'm going to head
him towards the wall.

He'll fly to within inches of it, then
wheel off gracefully and avoid it.

Are you ready? Of course.

Here we go.

Well, Brubaker, it looks like
we got stuck with the stupid one.

Quick, Brubaker! Grab him!

Say, are you lookin' for a bat?

Yes. Uh... Oh.

He went that way.

That way.

Modern science.

Uh, I say there,
Corporal. Yes, sir!

Uh, would you mind calling
a cab for me for the airport?

I'm taking a plane home.

I'd fly there myself, but
I've had a very trying day.

Yes, sir!

Who's the V.I.P.? I don't
know, but he wants a cab.

Get a load of the outfit on him.
Yeah, but you know how the air force is.

It must be their
new dress uniform.

Will you come out of there, Grandpa,
and change back into yourself?

He's probably sulking
because the airline

made him ride back in
the baggage compartment.

Please, Grandpa, I'll never trade
you for a rotten, old squirrel again.

Maybe we should give
him a piece of cheese.

Maybe we oughta give
her a piece of cheese.

It's not a her. It's a him. Will you keep
out of it? We know what we're doing.

Grandpa.

How can you be there
when you're here?

Well, I just flew in
from Washington.

Herman, you grabbed the
wrong bat out of the laboratory.

That's Cleo, a female bat...

who they were gonna
send up into orbit with me.

Gee, Grandpa. It's
nice to have you back.

Oh, Grandpa, we're
glad you're home.

You're telling me. You know,
I'm as patriotic as the next fellow,

but I'm not anxious to be
the first bat on the moon.

Look! Igor's back.

Well, look how that old
rascal's going for Cleo.

Isn't it romantic?

I always thought
that bat was part wolf.

Grandpa, what are
they talking about?

Well... Excuse me, Eddie.

Herman,

I think it's about time you had a little
father-and-son talk with Eddie here.

You know, about the,
uh, bats and the bees.

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