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1
00:00:02,953 --> 00:00:05,673
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:20,471 --> 00:00:22,721
What the heck
is going on with you?
3
00:00:22,798 --> 00:00:24,148
Look like a cat
threw you up.
4
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,774
I'm expressing myself.
5
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,057
Aunt Wanda said I could.
6
00:00:28,136 --> 00:00:29,766
WANDA:
Well, you know, she was sad.
7
00:00:29,846 --> 00:00:31,856
Uh-huh.
See, she has to wear that uniform all the time
8
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,902
and she said she never gets
to wear her cute clothes,
9
00:00:33,975 --> 00:00:35,155
so I told...
Cute?
10
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:37,235
She look like she broke.
11
00:00:37,312 --> 00:00:39,162
WANDA: (laughs) I told her
12
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:40,389
that she could wear
her things
13
00:00:40,465 --> 00:00:42,525
after school
and on the weekends.
14
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,669
(door opens)
15
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:44,914
Uncle Bernie, I finished
spreading the manure
16
00:00:44,986 --> 00:00:45,866
around the yard.
17
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,996
(gasps)
18
00:00:48,073 --> 00:00:50,923
Oh, my God.
19
00:00:50,992 --> 00:00:52,752
Did you get any
on the lawn?
20
00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:54,208
And look at this?
21
00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:55,657
I found a colony of beetles
22
00:00:55,739 --> 00:00:57,599
under that big piece
of slate in the back.
23
00:00:57,674 --> 00:00:59,104
BERNIE: Get that out
of the house! Stop, stop.
24
00:00:59,176 --> 00:01:00,486
Get out the house
right now.
25
00:01:00,569 --> 00:01:02,679
You got this whole house
smelling like a barn.
26
00:01:02,754 --> 00:01:03,924
What's wrong with you?
Ugh.
27
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,558
Okay, but I'm coming back
for my cash.
28
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:07,733
No checks this time.
29
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,286
(door shuts)
30
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:13,400
Raising kids is like
tending to a garden.
31
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:17,073
Each plant
has its own special need.
32
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,904
Some need room to grow,
blossom...
33
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,990
express themselves, like Bryana.
34
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,946
Others are fragile,
35
00:01:25,026 --> 00:01:28,156
need constant attention,
like Jordan.
36
00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:30,088
And then there are the others.
37
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:33,171
Where they're just unruly,
38
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:35,173
grow too fast,
39
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:37,915
run wild, like...
40
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:40,258
So, can-can I go to Rap Fest
41
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,843
with my friends next Saturday?
42
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:43,218
And that's when
43
00:01:43,295 --> 00:01:46,095
any good gardener
has to prune back.
44
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:47,933
Make sure they stay in their row
45
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,928
and don't cross the line.
46
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,650
You know what I mean, America?
47
00:01:53,054 --> 00:01:54,534
Wait a minute.
48
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:58,739
You're asking,
can you go downtown
49
00:01:59,644 --> 00:02:01,284
to a party, right?
50
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,744
With over 19,000
51
00:02:03,815 --> 00:02:06,235
screaming individuals,
52
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:08,342
high on God knows what.
53
00:02:09,279 --> 00:02:11,299
Uh, is-is that what
you're asking?
54
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,246
Uh, well, I think
what your uncle is trying to say
55
00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:18,167
is that it's not
a good idea.
56
00:02:18,246 --> 00:02:19,886
So that's a "no"
from both of you?
57
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,675
That's a "hell, no"
58
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,143
from both of us.
59
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,010
Hell, no.
60
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,211
(scoffs)
61
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,269
I think she's on drugs
or dog food.
62
00:02:31,343 --> 00:02:33,573
Uh, hmm, yeah,
only two more weeks
63
00:02:33,645 --> 00:02:35,845
and I'll have enough money
to buy my new bike.
64
00:02:35,931 --> 00:02:37,061
Already?
65
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,770
You must be
working your butt off.
66
00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:39,910
Feel my calluses.
67
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,025
These are working man's
hands.
68
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,067
Soft.
Well, I use moisturizer.
69
00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:46,777
You have to if you want
to keep them nice.
70
00:02:46,858 --> 00:02:49,708
(soft dramatic music playing)
71
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,930
SINGER: ♪ Hey girl ♪
72
00:03:00,622 --> 00:03:04,172
(fireworks popping)
SINGER: ♪ Tell me ♪
73
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:07,755
♪ What you need ♪
74
00:03:07,837 --> 00:03:09,647
Your shoelace is untied.
75
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,604
You look stupid
with your mouth wide open.
76
00:03:13,677 --> 00:03:15,227
SINGER: ♪ I like your style ♪
77
00:03:15,303 --> 00:03:17,703
Uh, hi,
my name's Jordan.
78
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,019
Do you go to this school?
79
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,020
'Cause I go to this school.
80
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:21,951
Uh,
81
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,368
you want to play
on the jungle gym?
82
00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:26,682
Come on, black people.
83
00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:28,287
Come on, let's go.
We're late.
84
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:29,882
(chuckles)
85
00:03:32,737 --> 00:03:33,957
(mutters)
86
00:03:36,157 --> 00:03:37,827
Come on, pinball.
87
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:38,843
Let's go.
88
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,676
GIRL: I've got it!
89
00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:50,725
Yes!
90
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,885
Who was that little girl?
91
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,808
A friend.
92
00:03:56,886 --> 00:03:58,136
Just a friend?
93
00:03:58,221 --> 00:04:00,311
Her name's Nef.
Short for Nefertari.
94
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:02,820
You know,
like the African princess?
95
00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:06,072
Oh, sounds like
somebody has a crush.
96
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,486
♪ Jordan got
a girlfriend ♪
97
00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:08,824
♪ Jordan got
a girlfriend ♪
98
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,568
Oh, stop it,
Baby Girl.
99
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:11,680
Grow up.
100
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:13,287
♪ Jordan got a girlfriend ♪
101
00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:15,290
♪ Jordan got a girlfriend ♪
102
00:04:15,363 --> 00:04:17,303
Uncle Bernie,
can you take me to the mall?
103
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,129
What, you save
for your bike already?
104
00:04:21,202 --> 00:04:22,962
Actually, I'm gonna hold off
on my bike.
105
00:04:23,038 --> 00:04:25,008
I think I'm going to get
a little present for Nef.
106
00:04:25,081 --> 00:04:27,021
Nef...
107
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:29,352
That's that girl who's not
your girlfriend, right?
108
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,933
(laughing)
109
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,215
Let me see what you got.
110
00:04:34,299 --> 00:04:37,279
Um, I want to buy her
this brooch.
111
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,976
You do, huh?
112
00:04:42,057 --> 00:04:43,337
Whew...
113
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,407
That look like
it's for a 60-year-old lady.
114
00:04:46,778 --> 00:04:48,898
Look, son,
you want to send a message
115
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,030
that you like her, right?
116
00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:51,106
Yeah.
117
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,121
Okay, so what about
these hearts?
118
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,794
What's this gold
one say?
119
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,622
The gold one say
you really like her.
120
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,497
And what about the one
with the diamonds?
121
00:04:59,574 --> 00:05:03,054
I think the diamond says,
Jordan, that I like her.
122
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,378
Yeah.
123
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:05,884
Just go with the heart.
124
00:05:05,955 --> 00:05:08,965
Okay.
Plus, it's on sale.
125
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,092
Okay, you go get ready.
126
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,302
I'll make a phone call.
127
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,012
I'll meet you
in the front, okay?
128
00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:14,968
You see that, America?
129
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,968
The little man getting
some bling for his girl.
130
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,981
Soon we're gonna have
a little player on our hands.
131
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,564
Look out, girls.
132
00:05:22,639 --> 00:05:25,229
There's a man on the loose.
133
00:05:25,308 --> 00:05:26,688
See, I didn't say man,
134
00:05:26,768 --> 00:05:29,068
I said man.
135
00:05:29,145 --> 00:05:31,075
Big difference.
136
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,496
(chuckling)
137
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,195
(grunts)
138
00:05:36,277 --> 00:05:39,377
(groaning)
139
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,998
Put some on...
Why don't you just lock me up
140
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,746
and throw away
the key?
141
00:05:44,828 --> 00:05:47,458
Why don't you quit being
so doggone dramatic?
142
00:05:47,539 --> 00:05:49,599
I'm sitting up here
trying to protect you.
143
00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:51,564
I'm looking out for you.
144
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,855
Ungrateful little kid.
Yeah, I tell you.
145
00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:59,432
(sighs) But it's
the concert of the year.
146
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:00,479
Everyone's going.
147
00:06:00,552 --> 00:06:01,892
Even the white girls.
148
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,190
I don't care if they blue.
149
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,653
Why can't you
just trust me?
150
00:06:05,723 --> 00:06:07,193
It's not that
I don't trust you.
151
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,527
I don't trust them.
152
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,525
All those guys
with the testosterone.
153
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:12,704
They want one thing.
154
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,952
One thing is on they mind.
155
00:06:15,024 --> 00:06:16,204
That's you
156
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,116
and all the other girls
you gonna be with.
157
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:19,754
(sighs)
Whatever.
158
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:20,840
Yeah, whatever.
159
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,879
They ain't gonna get it.
160
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,250
Not according to my watch.
161
00:06:28,746 --> 00:06:30,836
Uncle Bernie! Uncle Bernie!
She loved it.
162
00:06:30,915 --> 00:06:33,005
She said it was the prettiest
bracelet she'd ever seen.
163
00:06:33,084 --> 00:06:35,344
I told you, you did it
with the Mac style.
164
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:36,800
Boy, look at that smile.
165
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,140
She even invited me
to the movies on Saturday.
166
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,219
My first date!
167
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,720
No kidding.
168
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,521
I tell you
what I'm gonna do.
169
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:44,769
I'm gonna spring
for everything.
170
00:06:44,846 --> 00:06:46,306
I'm paying
for everything.
171
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:48,479
Wow.
And remember one thing, Jordan,
172
00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:49,568
and this is important.
173
00:06:49,651 --> 00:06:52,821
A true man always
treats his lady.
174
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:55,360
Ain't none of that
Dutch stuff, okay?
175
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,070
Okay.
What you gonna see?
176
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,070
I don't know.
177
00:06:58,151 --> 00:06:59,581
You don't know?
178
00:06:59,661 --> 00:07:02,331
Mm-mmm.
Man, come here.
179
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:03,915
What's wrong with you?
180
00:07:04,699 --> 00:07:06,549
Come on. You don't know.
181
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,996
You take her
to a horror movie.
182
00:07:09,078 --> 00:07:10,038
A part come on,
183
00:07:10,121 --> 00:07:11,921
scare the hell out of her.
184
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,262
She'll grab your arm.
185
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,513
She'll cling to you.
186
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:16,514
"Oh, Jordan, Jordan,
187
00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:18,256
oh, Jordan,
188
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,428
oh!"
189
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,970
Here you go,
you real smooth.
190
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,770
"I'm right here, baby."
191
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,943
Real low.
Let me hear you say it.
192
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,402
I'm right here, baby.
193
00:07:27,472 --> 00:07:29,562
Yeah, boy, yeah,
yeah, you got it.
194
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:31,225
Then she cling on to you.
195
00:07:31,309 --> 00:07:32,939
And as the movie progress,
196
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,493
you know she still...
197
00:07:34,562 --> 00:07:36,402
"Oh, oh, oh."
198
00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:38,361
And the guy comes
and chops her neck off.
199
00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:40,211
"Oh, oh, oh!"
200
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:41,775
And then you tell her,
you say,
201
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,951
"I'll be right back.
I need to use the washroom."
202
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,210
"No, Jordan! Don't go.
203
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,540
Don't go nowhere!"
204
00:07:46,616 --> 00:07:48,626
You sit there real cool.
205
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,706
"I'll be right here, baby."
206
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:54,058
That's when you know
you got her.
207
00:07:55,926 --> 00:07:59,216
(sighs)
Can I ask you something?
208
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,599
What?
You don't want me to go to that concert
209
00:08:01,673 --> 00:08:03,143
because of the guys
I'll be around,
210
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,766
right?
Right .
211
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,781
Well, why are you trying to turn
Jordan into one of them?
212
00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:09,443
What are you talking about?
(scoffs) He was telling me
213
00:08:09,514 --> 00:08:11,484
about all the little Mac
player moves
214
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,818
you were showing him
for his date.
215
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,613
Nessa,
it's a big difference
216
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:16,911
between a male
and female.
217
00:08:16,988 --> 00:08:18,408
I keep trying
to tell you that.
218
00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:20,450
Oh, I see,
it's okay for him to go
219
00:08:20,525 --> 00:08:21,695
to the movies on a date,
220
00:08:21,776 --> 00:08:23,696
but I can't go to a concert
with my friends?
221
00:08:23,778 --> 00:08:24,728
Right.
222
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,155
That's a double standard.
223
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,669
Now you understand.
224
00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,547
Stand a little bit
over there for me.
225
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,342
You-you know what I mean.
(scoffs)
226
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:38,505
(door shuts)
One day I'm gonna kill her.
227
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,975
(music playing)
228
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,022
Uh-oh.
229
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,728
All right.
230
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,358
You dawg.
231
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,653
You had a good time, huh?
232
00:08:54,726 --> 00:08:55,646
Things went well, huh?
233
00:08:55,727 --> 00:08:56,857
It went great.
234
00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,646
Oh, man, I'm happy for you.
235
00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:00,004
Did you see a scary picture?
236
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,031
No, we saw
Butterflies in October.
237
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,658
BERNIE:
Butterflies in October?
238
00:09:03,735 --> 00:09:06,485
Was that about a scary butterfly
with fangs or something?
239
00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:08,621
No, it was about some girl
240
00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:11,218
and her feelings and all.
241
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,878
She wanted to see it. Not bad.
242
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,384
Hmm.
243
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,376
You sit close to her?
244
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,718
Put your arms around her?
245
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:21,382
Nah, she sat two people down,
246
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,051
in between Jackie
and Chloe.
247
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,063
Red Vine?
248
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,112
Yeah, I'll take one.
249
00:09:30,595 --> 00:09:33,395
Sat two people down.
250
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,233
Jordan said it was a date.
251
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,528
Doesn't sound like any date
I ever been on.
252
00:09:38,603 --> 00:09:39,703
But that's okay.
253
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,320
The boy's a slow starter.
254
00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:43,447
At least he got a hug.
255
00:09:43,524 --> 00:09:45,744
And the important thing
of it is...
256
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,238
♪ Jordan got a girlfriend ♪
257
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,050
♪ Jordan got a girlfriend ♪
258
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,128
Doesn't he?
259
00:09:55,745 --> 00:09:58,345
(indistinct chatter)
260
00:10:10,968 --> 00:10:12,638
Oh, Lord!
261
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,150
He doesn't have a girlfriend!
262
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:17,283
He is the girlfriend.
263
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:24,358
♪ Two, four, six,
eight then twelve ♪
264
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,960
♪ And 23 to 34... ♪
265
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:35,124
America, there's two kind of men
in this world:
266
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,671
boyfriend,
and then just got friends.
267
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,419
See, just a friend is a guy
who goes shopping with the girl,
268
00:10:40,498 --> 00:10:41,878
tell her
her hair color look nice,
269
00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:44,768
listen to her complain
about her real boyfriend.
270
00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,054
But let me tell you something,
America.
271
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:49,510
No man wants to be
just a friend.
272
00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:53,150
So what you want them
to do, make out?
273
00:10:53,228 --> 00:10:55,358
The boy was skipping rope!
274
00:10:56,013 --> 00:10:57,903
He was turning.
275
00:10:57,974 --> 00:11:00,404
Turning rope.
I feel so much better now.
276
00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:01,686
Oh, good, honey.
They're kids.
277
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,653
I think their romance
is sweet.
278
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:05,661
Wanda...
279
00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:08,742
let me tell you something.
280
00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:11,868
I'm about to nip it
in the bud.
281
00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:12,886
Ten years from now,
282
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,458
the boy will be
sitting up there
283
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,366
carrying her handbag,
284
00:11:16,451 --> 00:11:17,901
buying her shoes,
285
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,798
or any other
of that feminine stuff,
286
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,069
he'll be doing it.
287
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,917
Hold that.
I'm going to put a break to it.
288
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:25,179
Because I'm not going
to be handling it.
289
00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:26,550
I'm not gonna have it.
290
00:11:26,627 --> 00:11:28,467
I'm gonna stop it
right now.
291
00:11:28,546 --> 00:11:30,226
Okay, wait a minute.
292
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:33,096
You stay out of it.
293
00:11:33,176 --> 00:11:34,526
Promise me
you'll stay out of it.
294
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,645
(drops shoes)
295
00:11:39,724 --> 00:11:40,904
Whatever.
(mutters)
296
00:11:40,975 --> 00:11:42,475
You don't know
what you're talking about.
297
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,760
Somebody set up there.
298
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,744
Hey, girl, did you
take out that trash?
299
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,067
Nope.
BERNIE: What do you mean, "no?"
300
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,213
You go back in there
and take the garbage out.
301
00:11:50,285 --> 00:11:51,775
I mean, traditionally,
302
00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,871
taking out the trash
is a boy's job.
303
00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:56,496
I'm a girl, so I don't think
I should have to do it.
304
00:11:56,574 --> 00:11:58,214
You wanted double standards,
305
00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,544
you got 'em.
306
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:00,889
What she say to me?
307
00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:03,262
Nessa, you better stop
right there
308
00:12:03,339 --> 00:12:05,639
and take out that doggone trash.
309
00:12:05,717 --> 00:12:07,547
Nessa?
VANESSA: No.
310
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,517
Get a boy to do it.
311
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,688
Go take this garbage out!
312
00:12:13,382 --> 00:12:14,312
Hi, Uncle Bernie.
313
00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:15,283
Hey.
314
00:12:15,351 --> 00:12:18,491
(upbeat music playing)
315
00:12:21,724 --> 00:12:24,444
America,
I'm living in a madhouse.
316
00:12:24,519 --> 00:12:27,609
(upbeat music playing)
317
00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:29,868
Nessa, come take out this trash!
318
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,621
Couldn't you find
somebody else
319
00:12:32,693 --> 00:12:34,453
to turn the rope
for her, Jordan?
320
00:12:34,529 --> 00:12:37,039
Yeah, she likes the way
I turn it, though.
321
00:12:37,114 --> 00:12:39,964
But don't you wanna be sitting
next to her in a movie?
322
00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:43,344
Or holding her hand,
walking down the street?
323
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:45,512
Or her scribbling
in your notebook?
324
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,810
VANESSA: (scoffs) Unbelievable.
325
00:12:49,627 --> 00:12:50,887
Look, you don't understand.
326
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,760
It's different for a girl
than it is boys.
327
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,720
You just don't
understand.
328
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:56,690
(sighs)
329
00:12:58,052 --> 00:13:00,142
You-you understand
what I'm saying, don't you?
330
00:13:00,221 --> 00:13:01,401
Yeah, I'm listening.
331
00:13:01,472 --> 00:13:03,032
So what do you think?
332
00:13:05,268 --> 00:13:08,608
Hmm.
You got a dance coming up.
333
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,318
Son, this is when
you make your move.
334
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:12,208
I'll show her
one of my tricks.
335
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:16,040
I'll even explain to her
how it's done.
336
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,407
That's sweet, Jordan,
337
00:13:18,489 --> 00:13:20,669
but sweet
don't get the girl.
338
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,501
You know,
you got to break her down.
339
00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:25,548
Keep her at a distance.
340
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:28,510
Then you reel her
in real slow.
341
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:31,183
You treat her
like the big fish.
342
00:13:31,252 --> 00:13:32,582
Okay?
343
00:13:32,654 --> 00:13:33,684
I'm going to break it
down to you
344
00:13:33,754 --> 00:13:35,014
how you treat a woman,
345
00:13:35,089 --> 00:13:37,609
especially when
you're all alone.
346
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:40,823
She wouldn't understand.
Yeah.
347
00:13:40,895 --> 00:13:42,685
But when you get a woman...
348
00:13:42,763 --> 00:13:45,363
And the man says,
"I'll hold your monkey for you."
349
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,693
(all laugh)
350
00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:49,278
I'm next.
Will you turn for me?
351
00:13:49,353 --> 00:13:51,493
Not now, men are talking.
352
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,764
(chuckles)
353
00:13:55,109 --> 00:13:56,369
Are you going to the dance
this weekend?
354
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,884
Yeah. Are you?
355
00:13:57,954 --> 00:14:01,084
I might come through.
Excuse me.
356
00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:04,337
Yeah, that's a great joke
I saw on a website.
357
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,959
It was so funny...
358
00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:09,057
(music playing)
359
00:14:13,544 --> 00:14:14,644
Uncle Bernie,
Hmm?
360
00:14:14,712 --> 00:14:16,722
I'm not sure
about this new strategy.
361
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,981
I think I hurt
her feelings.
362
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,477
Oh, you just got
under her skin a little bit.
363
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,480
That shows
she likes you, man.
364
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,597
What are you
teaching him?
365
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,693
I'm teaching him
how to be a man.
366
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:28,975
You hurt that girl's feelings,
you apologize to her.
367
00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:31,490
That's what a real man
would do.
368
00:14:31,562 --> 00:14:32,742
All that's coming
out of her mouth.
369
00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,743
She'll say
any doggone thing.
370
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,569
Let me ask you
a question.
371
00:14:36,651 --> 00:14:38,581
Am I a nice guy?
372
00:14:38,653 --> 00:14:40,493
Not really.
(chuckles)
373
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,575
Who did your aunt marry?
JORDAN: You.
374
00:14:42,657 --> 00:14:43,957
You see the grief and the pain
375
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:45,583
your sister's giving me
about the rappers?
376
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:47,420
You see them
turning rope?
377
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,745
No.
I rest my case.
378
00:14:48,829 --> 00:14:52,639
Jordan, you just stay
your sweet self.
379
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,297
No such thing as sweet.
380
00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:55,637
Sweet get the sucker.
381
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,385
The sucker get licked.
382
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,513
Come on. Let's go
in the other room.
383
00:14:58,589 --> 00:14:59,649
Let's talk to you
about being a man.
384
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:01,474
She can't tell you
about being no man.
385
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:04,650
(hip-hop music playing)
386
00:15:12,436 --> 00:15:15,366
♪♪
387
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:22,997
What's up?
388
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:24,622
Hi, Jordan.
389
00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:27,119
Is that punch as sweet
as you look?
390
00:15:27,201 --> 00:15:28,051
(scoffs)
391
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:30,668
Yeah, they always do put
392
00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:33,756
a bit too much lemonade
in there, huh?
393
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,023
So, you want to be
my girl, or what?
394
00:15:36,711 --> 00:15:38,591
Your girl?
395
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,301
I don't even
wanna be your friend.
396
00:15:40,381 --> 00:15:42,011
Huh. Yeah, that's funny.
397
00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:43,811
(mutters)
Here.
398
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,988
(hip-hop music playing)
399
00:15:52,476 --> 00:15:55,406
♪♪
400
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:05,094
(dramatic music playing)
401
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,169
(sighs)
402
00:16:11,245 --> 00:16:12,135
(jewelry clatters)
403
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,561
Can I get you anything?
404
00:16:28,179 --> 00:16:30,649
Can't you see
his little heart is broken?
405
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,243
What kind of great advice
did you give him?
406
00:16:34,185 --> 00:16:36,315
Oh, Wanda, come on.
407
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,485
When he was running around here
acting like a little chump,
408
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:40,685
buying her everything,
409
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,867
she was crazy about him.
410
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:46,247
But all of a sudden now,
he grew up real quick
411
00:16:46,322 --> 00:16:47,502
and now he's a man,
412
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,333
she don't like him no more.
413
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,498
Before that man
becomes a man,
414
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,337
he's going to get
a million doors
415
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,472
slammed in his face.
416
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,097
Later for her.
417
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,219
(door slams)
418
00:16:59,293 --> 00:17:01,093
See, America?
419
00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:03,350
Door slam all in your face.
420
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,312
Huh! I don't care.
421
00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:07,142
I'm a man.
422
00:17:07,218 --> 00:17:09,348
'Cause men get over it.
423
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,348
Damn sure rude, though,
ain't it?
424
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,650
You know it is, America.
425
00:17:12,723 --> 00:17:14,363
Uncalled for.
426
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:15,533
Heifer.
427
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,739
Hey, what's up, little man?
428
00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:22,706
Nothing.
429
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:28,155
Oh, he went to some
school dance
430
00:17:28,239 --> 00:17:31,079
and some girl at school
refused to dance with him
431
00:17:31,158 --> 00:17:34,378
and he been shook up
about it ever since.
432
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,683
I told him shake it off.
433
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,045
Pfft. That's what I'd do,
man. Move on.
434
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,718
There's more than one fish
in the sea, man,
435
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,262
and they all pretty.
(laughing)
436
00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:42,755
That's great advice
from someone
437
00:17:42,837 --> 00:17:44,217
who hardly ever has
a woman.
438
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:45,426
(all laugh)
439
00:17:45,506 --> 00:17:47,096
Oh, let me tell you
something.
440
00:17:47,174 --> 00:17:48,394
I got 'em, baby.
441
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,267
It's just I run
through them so fast,
442
00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:51,234
you miss 'em.
443
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:52,233
It's like, whoosh,
444
00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:53,444
running through
the finish line.
445
00:17:53,514 --> 00:17:54,734
Right, right.
KELLY: Whoa, whoa,
446
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,267
take it easy, man.
447
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,662
I don't know if that's
necessarily the message
448
00:17:57,735 --> 00:18:00,115
you want to be sending
to an impressionable young man.
449
00:18:01,656 --> 00:18:03,906
Seriously, y'all,
women are treasures
450
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,413
and you should treat them
451
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,124
like the jewels they are.
452
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:08,204
You know what I'm saying?
453
00:18:08,279 --> 00:18:10,079
(laughing)
454
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,436
Oh, man.
Oh, man!
455
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:13,615
Hey, Kelly, Kelly.
I didn't know you had a uterus.
456
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:16,501
(all laughing)
457
00:18:16,579 --> 00:18:17,679
(laughing stops)
458
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,353
Hey, baby.
459
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,520
Oh, man.
460
00:18:29,592 --> 00:18:31,432
Man, what'd you do?
461
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,640
I'm just being a man.
462
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,940
Yeah, you just
being a man
463
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:36,113
who's sleeping
on the couch tonight.
464
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,106
(laughing)
465
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,574
I ain't sweatin' that.
466
00:18:39,643 --> 00:18:41,283
Tonight.
(mutters)
467
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:42,393
(hip-hop music playing)
468
00:18:44,899 --> 00:18:46,449
What, you gonna give me
some ice cream
469
00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:47,775
and I'm not supposed
to be mad at you?
470
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,450
I bought your favorite.
471
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:51,959
What's my favorite?
472
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:56,502
Pistachio Sunrise.
473
00:18:56,577 --> 00:18:58,287
You went all the way
to Baked Ice for that?
474
00:18:58,370 --> 00:18:59,260
I sure did,
475
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:01,128
Pasadena, bad traffic.
476
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,257
Aw,
477
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,383
thank you, honey.
That was very sweet.
478
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:05,310
Mm-hmm.
479
00:19:06,921 --> 00:19:08,471
Mm.
480
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:10,347
Mm.
481
00:19:10,424 --> 00:19:12,314
Mm!
Honey,
482
00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:14,614
Bernie Mac's
a sweet man.
483
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,597
I am sweet,
ain't I, baby?
484
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,234
Mm-hmm.
485
00:19:18,307 --> 00:19:19,977
But, honey...
Hmm?
486
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,479
how come it's not okay
for Jordan
487
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,200
to be a sweet little boy?
488
00:19:28,108 --> 00:19:29,578
Trickeration!
489
00:19:29,652 --> 00:19:31,452
She set me up.
490
00:19:31,528 --> 00:19:33,368
She don't understand, America.
491
00:19:33,447 --> 00:19:34,827
I'm hard!
492
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,287
I can afford to be sweet.
493
00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:39,538
You dig down down
beneath my sweetness,
494
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,090
there's hardness.
495
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:43,433
You dig down through
the boy's sweetness,
496
00:19:43,507 --> 00:19:45,337
you just find more soft.
497
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,847
There's a difference.
498
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,033
(indistinct chatter)
499
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,898
MAN:
She said he's improving.
500
00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:06,700
Aw, she's wearing
her pink scrunchie.
501
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,485
Go ahead.
502
00:20:11,568 --> 00:20:12,958
No, I'm cool.
503
00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:15,536
Nah, you ain't cool.
504
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,474
Go on, get your girl.
Go ahead.
505
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,854
Just don't give her any fl...
506
00:20:26,417 --> 00:20:27,767
flowers.
507
00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:37,444
This is for you.
508
00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:41,363
SINGER: ♪ Oh baby ♪
509
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,600
You messed up that time
510
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,075
because Toni
wasn't turning it right.
511
00:20:44,685 --> 00:20:45,725
Can I turn for you?
512
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:46,901
SINGER: ♪ La, la, la ♪
513
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:50,499
SINGER: ♪ La, la, oh baby ♪
514
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:53,783
You see that?
515
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,701
He got a kiss this time!
516
00:20:55,779 --> 00:20:57,709
And you know what that mean?
517
00:20:57,781 --> 00:20:59,921
♪ Jordan got a girlfriend ♪
518
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,962
♪ Jordan got a girlfriend ♪
519
00:21:02,036 --> 00:21:05,586
Yeah. That's what
I'm talkin' about.
520
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:06,804
Yeah, baby.
521
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:09,434
SINGER: ♪ Oh, baby ♪
522
00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:14,814
She'll put her arms
around you,
523
00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:17,642
and her head
touch your head.
524
00:21:17,718 --> 00:21:20,808
And her hand
will go across your belly,
525
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:22,438
if you know
what I'm talking about.
526
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:25,624
(chuckling)
527
00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:29,647
(chuckling)
528
00:21:29,730 --> 00:21:32,830
(chuckling)
529
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,623
Pimp live.
530
00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:40,797
(both continue chuckling)
531
00:21:46,497 --> 00:21:47,637
Captioned by Visual Data
532
00:21:47,687 --> 00:21:52,237
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35513
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