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1
00:00:19,537 --> 00:00:21,597
Oh, hi, America.
Just one second.
2
00:00:23,682 --> 00:00:25,062
Hey, listen to this.
3
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:28,313
"Gratitude:
the quality or feeling
4
00:00:28,386 --> 00:00:30,436
of being grateful or thankful
5
00:00:30,514 --> 00:00:34,784
as in 'He expressed gratitude
to everyone on his staff.'"
6
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:35,990
That's nice.
7
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,790
Let's see what else we got here.
8
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,163
Okay, hey, hey, listen to this.
9
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:44,382
"Thankless: not likely
to be appreciated or rewarded.
10
00:00:44,453 --> 00:00:49,083
Unappreciated,
as in 'A thankless job.'"
11
00:00:49,157 --> 00:00:50,867
All right.
That's kind of nice there.
12
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,001
Hold on, I want to see something
else, look for something else.
13
00:00:53,078 --> 00:00:54,538
Okay, this is real nice.
14
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,011
A "skunk."
15
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,301
"A black and white
striped mammal
16
00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:01,046
of the weasel family..."
17
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:02,468
We know some people like that.
18
00:01:02,546 --> 00:01:05,756
"...that emits a pungent odor
when attacked.
19
00:01:05,841 --> 00:01:07,691
Or a despicable person."
20
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:11,238
America, let's see if I can
use that in a sentence.
21
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:16,566
Those thankless little skunks
have no gratitude.
22
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:20,113
One more second, America,
one more second.
23
00:01:20,188 --> 00:01:23,528
Let me look up
"justifiable homicide."
24
00:01:23,608 --> 00:01:25,208
Yeah, yeah.
25
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:28,365
Sorry, dogs, but tonight
the cards are screaming
26
00:01:28,446 --> 00:01:30,746
"Here you go, W.B.
Get yours."
27
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,124
(laughing)
28
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,420
Yeah, it's all right.
29
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:34,893
Consider it a loan, baby.
30
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,502
You'll be paying
double Saturday.
31
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:37,960
-Yeah,
we're going. -Okay.
32
00:01:38,039 --> 00:01:39,209
Mm, don't promise
anything.
33
00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:40,761
We got that thing
at Bona Vista.
34
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,054
What thing you talking about?
35
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,394
The father-daughter
dance, man.
36
00:01:43,461 --> 00:01:45,221
Sophia's so excited
about it.
37
00:01:45,297 --> 00:01:47,397
She made me go out
and buy a new suit.
38
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,144
Oh, it was about time, man,
'cause that tight polyester suit
39
00:01:50,218 --> 00:01:52,608
with the big-ass lapels
done been over.
40
00:01:52,688 --> 00:01:54,098
(laughing)
41
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:55,911
Hey, what are you
wearing to the dance?
42
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,983
Huh?
43
00:01:58,059 --> 00:01:59,329
What are you wearing
to the dance?
44
00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:01,403
Um... I haven't thought
about right now
45
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,953
but I want to play cards,
I want my money back.
46
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,534
Whoa, hold up, man.
47
00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:07,449
You plan what you're wearing
to get the morning paper.
48
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,327
You don't know nothing about
this dance, do you?
49
00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:11,454
That's not true.
That's not true.
50
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,581
Big fella,
you know that's not true.
51
00:02:13,658 --> 00:02:14,928
You know..
52
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,630
Nessa's just probably
waiting till last minute.
53
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,043
You know, Chuy,
you know how she is.
54
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,045
Bernie.
55
00:02:19,122 --> 00:02:20,512
The dance is Saturday
56
00:02:20,582 --> 00:02:22,012
and she hasn't asked you yet?
57
00:02:22,083 --> 00:02:23,183
(laughs)
58
00:02:23,251 --> 00:02:25,301
You ain't going
to a damn thing.
59
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:26,728
Yup.
60
00:02:29,674 --> 00:02:31,144
Not true.
61
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,438
Look, America, I'm sure Nessa,
man, she's going to ask me.
62
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,845
It just take her a little time
to do something nice.
63
00:02:35,931 --> 00:02:37,091
You know, she's got to dig
64
00:02:37,165 --> 00:02:38,265
through all that layer
of her evil.
65
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:40,980
She'll do the right thing.
66
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:44,821
She'll, she'll do that thing.
67
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,488
So what's up, kids?
68
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,920
What's happening this week,
anything special?
69
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:49,924
I get my cast off.
70
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,485
We might not
have time, Jordan.
71
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,661
But it itches.
72
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:53,749
Use this.
73
00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:55,543
Anybody else?
74
00:02:55,617 --> 00:02:56,667
Uncle Bernie, I...
75
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,083
Not now, baby girl.
76
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,085
Nessa, what's going on?
77
00:03:00,163 --> 00:03:01,883
What's rocking, baby?
What's popping?
78
00:03:01,957 --> 00:03:03,007
What's swinging
this weekend?
79
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,803
What's rocking, huh?
Oh, Bernie...
80
00:03:04,876 --> 00:03:07,506
the Richters wanted to
know if they could reschedule.
81
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:08,587
Hell, no.
82
00:03:08,664 --> 00:03:09,864
You know, I hate the
Richters.
83
00:03:09,932 --> 00:03:12,852
They do manage our money.
84
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,226
Damn.
85
00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:15,652
So, Nessa...
86
00:03:17,514 --> 00:03:20,984
Oh, yeah, old Nessa's slick.
87
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,903
Acting like
she didn't get the hint.
88
00:03:22,978 --> 00:03:25,528
You know, maybe I should be
a little bit more blatant.
89
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:28,065
Like hit her
over the head with it.
90
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,493
BERNIE:
♪ Something don't look right ♪
91
00:03:30,568 --> 00:03:32,908
♪ Something
don't look right ♪
92
00:03:32,988 --> 00:03:35,038
♪ Salt belongs over here ♪
93
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,325
♪ Pepper belongs
right here ♪
94
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:39,183
♪ Now the table
looks right ♪
95
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,713
♪ All right ♪
96
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,337
Is there any butter?
97
00:03:42,414 --> 00:03:44,554
♪ You want butter? ♪
98
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,218
♪ You want butter, oh...♪
99
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:49,054
♪ Here your butter ♪
100
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,469
♪ There your butter ♪
101
00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:51,717
Thanks.
102
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:52,848
♪ You're welcome ♪
103
00:03:52,924 --> 00:03:54,144
You're silly, Uncle Bernie.
104
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,767
♪ Say what? ♪
105
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:58,654
♪ I got it ♪
106
00:03:58,722 --> 00:04:00,202
♪ I got it ♪
107
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,774
♪ I got it ♪
108
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,280
♪ I got it ♪
109
00:04:04,519 --> 00:04:05,699
♪ Look, Nessa ♪
110
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,504
♪ Look, Nessa ♪
111
00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:14,075
Those were some
of my finest moves.
112
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:17,964
America, I'm starting to think
she's not going to even ask me.
113
00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:19,253
All right, fine.
114
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:20,926
After all I've done for her.
115
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,884
Saved her
from a life on the streets.
116
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,708
You know, if you take in
a stray dog, it'll lick you.
117
00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:28,130
You may catch something,
but it'll lick you.
118
00:04:28,209 --> 00:04:29,629
Fine.
119
00:04:29,711 --> 00:04:32,431
And you know what else, America?
120
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:35,225
I don't even care
about the dance anymore.
121
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:39,059
I wouldn't go to that dance
if she asked me.
122
00:04:39,137 --> 00:04:40,097
Why won't she ask me
to the dance?
123
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,730
Honey, just ask her.
124
00:04:41,806 --> 00:04:43,186
No.
125
00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:44,816
It's her dance.
126
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:47,783
Hawkins don't ask Sadie,
Sadie asks Hawkins.
127
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:48,854
That's the rule.
128
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,292
That's the way
it's always been.
129
00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:56,664
You, uh, want me to take
your mind off of it?
130
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,412
Mm, no.
131
00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:00,910
I want to stew.
132
00:05:04,245 --> 00:05:06,545
Okay.
133
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:09,303
WANDA:
Okay, why don't you want to go with him?
134
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,676
What?
Vanessa, I know you
135
00:05:11,753 --> 00:05:13,973
and I know you want
to go to this dance.
136
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,057
You do want to go, right?
137
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:17,811
Well, yeah, but...
138
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,524
And you see how badly
your uncle wants to go.
139
00:05:20,595 --> 00:05:22,775
How can you not see it?
140
00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:25,663
Want some salt?
141
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:31,573
It would mean a lot to him
if you'd ask him.
142
00:05:31,648 --> 00:05:33,668
We don't even get along.
143
00:05:35,318 --> 00:05:38,908
Okay, I know you two
may butt heads
144
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:44,382
but are you telling me that you
can't get along for one night?
145
00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:47,460
For me?
146
00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:50,303
But Uncle Bernie is so...
147
00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:52,265
Okay, well,
would you go with him?
148
00:05:52,344 --> 00:05:54,844
Sweetie, I married him.
149
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,691
Oh, yeah.
150
00:06:01,812 --> 00:06:06,032
Saturday night, meet me
at the front door at 7:00.
151
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,613
America, she got
a lot of damn nerve.
152
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:12,396
That's no way
to invite someone to a dance.
153
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,950
Let me read "invite."
154
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:18,373
"Invite: to request
the participation of another
155
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,495
in a kindly, courteous
and complimentary way."
156
00:06:21,573 --> 00:06:25,213
Kindly, courteous,
complimentary way.
157
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,655
You know,
I ought to turn her down
158
00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:28,377
and not even go
to her funky little dance.
159
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,925
Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.
160
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,100
It's important to her.
161
00:06:45,221 --> 00:06:46,151
How do I look, baby?
162
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,562
Baby, you look handsome.
163
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,400
I want to go to
a father-daughter dance, too.
164
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,487
Oh, sweetie, I have
a special night planned
165
00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:53,902
for you and your brother.
166
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,160
Can we go to Video Fun Zone?
Please, please, please?
167
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,703
Okay, okay,
Jordan, relax.
168
00:06:58,776 --> 00:07:00,786
We will talk about it
when your sister
169
00:07:00,862 --> 00:07:03,162
and your uncle has let
for the dance, okay?
170
00:07:03,239 --> 00:07:04,199
Okay.
Okay.
171
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:09,794
That boy on speed,
you know that?
172
00:07:09,871 --> 00:07:11,301
Wow, Wanda.
173
00:07:11,381 --> 00:07:13,181
JORDAN: Whoa!
BABY GIRL: Ooh!
174
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,406
Nessa...
175
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,215
you look beautiful.
176
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:23,350
Thanks.
177
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,566
You look... nice.
178
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,440
Wow.
179
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,039
This is for you.
180
00:07:38,107 --> 00:07:39,077
Ready, sir?
181
00:07:39,901 --> 00:07:40,581
My lady
182
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,450
your carriage
awaits you.
183
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,543
Oh, a limo! Cool!
184
00:07:45,615 --> 00:07:47,575
Bernie, this is
her special night.
185
00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,963
I want you to be
on your best behavior.
186
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:50,966
What?
187
00:07:51,046 --> 00:07:52,496
Like I'm a little kid.
188
00:07:52,580 --> 00:07:55,340
Baby, I'm always
on my best behavior.
189
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:56,776
Honey, I mean it.
190
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,261
She had some reservations
about asking you.
191
00:07:59,337 --> 00:08:00,717
Just keep that in mind.
192
00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:02,107
Well, who else
she going to ask?
193
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,412
Her daddy?
194
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,603
He won't be available
for five to ten years.
195
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,270
And that's on
good behavior.
196
00:08:06,344 --> 00:08:07,274
Baby, stop.
197
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,015
Wanda, she's right, she's right.
198
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,617
She got a point.
199
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,268
It's a father-and-daughter dance
and her father's not around.
200
00:08:13,351 --> 00:08:15,281
And you know what else?
201
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,780
I'm going to give her
a special Bernie Mac father-and-daughter dance.
202
00:08:17,855 --> 00:08:20,695
One she'll never forget
'cause I'm made like that.
203
00:08:20,775 --> 00:08:22,075
America, I'm a giver.
204
00:08:22,151 --> 00:08:24,421
Now her daddy,
on the other hand...
205
00:08:24,496 --> 00:08:25,866
Let's move on.
206
00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:27,147
♪ With this World Trade ♪
207
00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:28,832
♪ Naw brave any orderbut confoldure ♪
208
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:29,958
♪ Better make it home ♪
209
00:08:30,034 --> 00:08:31,254
♪ When nothin seemsto matter ♪
210
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:32,667
♪ That's when, see,everything can go ♪
211
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,115
♪ Any which way ♪
212
00:08:34,197 --> 00:08:35,457
♪ They got me fooled seethe Henny with the J ♪
213
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:36,770
♪ Front porch,chillin broke ♪
214
00:08:36,841 --> 00:08:38,511
♪ Country folk, I'm Nappywith my ways yo ♪
215
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,009
♪ All my life been po' ♪
216
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,796
♪ But it really don'tmatter no mo' ♪
217
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:43,650
♪ And they wonder ♪
218
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:46,023
(snapping fingers)
219
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,518
This is nice, baby.
220
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:52,306
Bernie.
Wooh, hey!
221
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:53,910
Hey, what's up, boy?
222
00:08:53,984 --> 00:08:56,584
How you doing?
You look good, man.
223
00:08:56,653 --> 00:08:58,213
I got them fooled,
don't I?
224
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,527
Hope you got your
moves down for the contest tonight.
225
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,117
We could use
a little competition.
226
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:04,581
Oh, you take us on, man?
Look, look, look.
227
00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:06,162
Huh?
You know what?
228
00:09:06,237 --> 00:09:08,447
I got the combination, boy.
I got the combination
229
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,615
Woo!
No, you don't.
230
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,040
By the end of the night,
Nessa and I, man
231
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,958
our shoes are going to be
bronzed in the trophy case.
232
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:17,131
Watch and see tonight.
Am I right, baby?
233
00:09:17,206 --> 00:09:19,166
All right, fathers,
grab your daughters
234
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,310
get on the dance floor
235
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,835
and show me
what you got for me.
236
00:09:21,919 --> 00:09:24,849
Let's show them
what we got.
237
00:09:24,922 --> 00:09:26,892
Back up off.
Let tell you something.
238
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,426
Back up.
Back up off it.
239
00:09:28,509 --> 00:09:29,859
Back, back, back up off it.
240
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,314
Come on, Nessa.
241
00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:33,808
Me and you, baby,
it's our time.
242
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:36,190
No, this songs
kind of whack. Maybe later.
243
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:41,651
"And the littlest ladybug slid
down the anteater's throat
244
00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:44,661
in search of
her friend the ant."
245
00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:46,494
Oh, please.
Can we watch videos?
246
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,083
Stop interrupting.
247
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,374
I said after dinner.
248
00:09:49,447 --> 00:09:51,207
Then can we eat already?
I'm hungry.
249
00:09:51,282 --> 00:09:54,422
Jordan, you watched me put
the pizza in five minutes ago.
250
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,794
Now would you stop?
251
00:09:56,871 --> 00:09:59,341
Aunt Wanda, what happens
to the ladybug?
252
00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:02,465
Okay, so, "The littlest ladybug
253
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,007
slid down the anteater's throat
254
00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:06,347
in search of her friend the ant
255
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:07,392
and...
256
00:10:07,465 --> 00:10:09,095
Um...
257
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,015
Oh, boy.
258
00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:12,694
The last page is missing.
259
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,443
But what happened
to the ladybug and the ant?
260
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:16,355
They die.
261
00:10:16,432 --> 00:10:17,692
Hey, Jordan
262
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:18,897
don't tell her that.
263
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,740
Baby, you know what?
264
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:24,156
I'm sure they lived
happily ever after.
265
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,242
But how do we know?
266
00:10:25,316 --> 00:10:26,616
They last page is missing.
267
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:27,907
You know why
268
00:10:27,985 --> 00:10:29,405
the last page is missing?
269
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:30,577
'Cause the anteater ate it.
270
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:31,755
Just like he ate
271
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,751
the ladybug and the ant.
272
00:10:33,825 --> 00:10:37,035
He chewed them up and he ate it.
(sobbing)
273
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,920
Jordan, you may not want
this special night
274
00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:41,056
but your sister and I do.
275
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,966
The ant is dead.
276
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,763
You know what?
You should just go somewhere
277
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,051
and sit down for a while.
278
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,720
Gladly.
279
00:10:48,798 --> 00:10:51,068
No, the ant
is not dead.
280
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,937
Don't do that, please.
281
00:10:56,013 --> 00:10:57,533
Hey, hey, baby, Nessa,
who's that?
282
00:10:57,607 --> 00:10:59,107
Uh, Mr. Cowan.
283
00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:00,533
That's your favorite
teacher, ain't it?
284
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:01,730
Mr. Cowan!
285
00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:02,911
What are
you doing?
286
00:11:02,987 --> 00:11:03,947
Come on, come on, come on.
287
00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:05,411
Hey, Cowan!
Come on, baby.
288
00:11:05,481 --> 00:11:06,491
Mr. Mac, good to see you again.
289
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:07,536
What's up, baby?
How you doing?
290
00:11:07,617 --> 00:11:08,807
I'm doing fine.
291
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:09,985
You're my niece's
favorite teacher, man.
292
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,409
All she talks
about is you.
293
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:12,947
You, you, you.
294
00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:14,590
"Mr. Cowan" this,
"Mr. Cowan" that.
295
00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:15,916
The house
can't stand you.
296
00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:17,752
Baby girl,
you make her sick.
297
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,417
She's says, "Why don't
you marry Mr. Cowan,"
298
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:20,595
Uncle Bernie.
299
00:11:20,672 --> 00:11:21,922
Why don't we go get some punch?
300
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:23,258
Okay, sure,
we get some punch.
301
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:24,722
Mr. Cowan,
it's a pleasure, boy.
302
00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,382
You're a cool white boy.
303
00:11:26,461 --> 00:11:27,761
Oh, thank you.
304
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:29,507
That's Mr. Cowan, baby.
305
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,099
Why did you do that?
306
00:11:31,174 --> 00:11:32,694
What you talking about?
I'm making you look good.
307
00:11:32,767 --> 00:11:33,767
Why are you acting like this?
308
00:11:33,843 --> 00:11:34,733
How am I acting?
309
00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:37,601
You're acting like you're crazy.
310
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,940
I'm acting like
I'm crazy?
311
00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:42,686
Crazy?!
Oh, I'm crazy.
312
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:43,939
What kind of fool wants to dance
313
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:46,450
at a father-and-daughter dance,
huh?
314
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,112
Mac, keep it together.
315
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:51,445
It's her night.
It's her night.
316
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:54,497
Don't say nothing.
317
00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:56,332
(sobbing)
318
00:11:56,407 --> 00:11:57,827
Bryana, please stop crying.
319
00:11:57,909 --> 00:12:00,459
Oh, okay. Could you just
turn to the last page
320
00:12:00,536 --> 00:12:03,836
and tell me what happened
with the ladybug and the ant?
321
00:12:03,915 --> 00:12:06,125
No, excuse you,
I did buy the book.
322
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:08,629
It's just missing the last page.
323
00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:10,761
He is really getting
on my nerves.
324
00:12:10,838 --> 00:12:12,218
Why can't he be normal?
325
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,468
I'm sure he's no
worse than my dad.
326
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,484
(tapping on microphone)
327
00:12:15,551 --> 00:12:16,981
BERNIE:
What's up, you squares?
328
00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:20,493
Todd A.L.7's
in the house tonight.
329
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:21,725
I take it back.
330
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:25,228
Oh, my God!
Look at your dad!
331
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:25,871
Uncle.
332
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,315
My dad's in prison.
333
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:29,606
Right now, tonight,
I want to dedicate this song
334
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,324
to a beautiful, finicky
young lady
335
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:35,040
who just can't find
the right song for her tonight.
336
00:12:35,112 --> 00:12:36,832
But I'm going to play a song
for her I know
337
00:12:36,906 --> 00:12:38,286
she cold going to dig
338
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,996
'cause I took her to ten stores
to buy this single.
339
00:12:41,077 --> 00:12:44,587
Listen, beautiful thing,
chocolate thunder
340
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:45,844
you meet me on the center
341
00:12:45,915 --> 00:12:47,795
killer floor
here tonight
342
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:49,465
and I'll show you
how it's done.
343
00:12:49,544 --> 00:12:50,934
Oh, yeah.
344
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:52,143
Ha. Here you go.
345
00:12:52,213 --> 00:12:53,603
♪ ♪
346
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:54,563
Want to see something?
347
00:12:54,632 --> 00:12:59,562
See some magic?
Watch.
348
00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:00,897
Huh. I'm popping.
349
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,480
Look, listen, and learn.
350
00:13:02,557 --> 00:13:04,567
Yeah, come on.
Get it.
351
00:13:04,642 --> 00:13:06,282
Come on. Get it. Huh.
352
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:07,611
Right here.
353
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:10,487
I'm waiting for you.
354
00:13:10,565 --> 00:13:12,655
Oh, yeah.
355
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,327
She'll be out
in a few minutes.
356
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:18,372
She probably went
to the bathroom or something.
357
00:13:18,447 --> 00:13:20,497
Nessa?
358
00:13:20,575 --> 00:13:22,125
♪ ♪
359
00:13:23,744 --> 00:13:26,344
Nessa?
360
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:29,144
Nessa?
361
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,566
Nessa!
362
00:13:47,018 --> 00:13:50,368
Excuse me.
Do you know Nessa?
363
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:57,790
Can you believe this?
364
00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,366
The Mac Man ditched?
365
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:01,787
Hey, I am trying to be
a father to someone
366
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:04,166
who don't know to act
like a daughter.
367
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:05,963
Just rude, mean, hateful.
368
00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:09,207
Wouldn't know what to do
with a daddy if she had one.
369
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:10,880
Huh. America,
this is a disaster.
370
00:14:10,958 --> 00:14:13,548
I can't imagine this evening
going any worse.
371
00:14:13,628 --> 00:14:17,098
To me, this'll end up
bustin' some old boo!
372
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:20,403
(spy music playing)
373
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,670
(screaming)
374
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:53,085
Hey, Nessa.
375
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:54,517
Hey!
376
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,554
Excuse me.
377
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:58,098
This is the
girls' bathroom.
378
00:14:58,172 --> 00:14:59,222
Yeah, yeah,
I know, I know.
379
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:00,898
You all got
enough blush on anyway.
380
00:15:00,975 --> 00:15:03,975
Save some for high school.
Go ahead. Y'all get on out of here.
381
00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:05,613
Come on,
get on out of here!
382
00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:09,187
Fast...
383
00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:10,646
Oh my God.
Whatever.
384
00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:12,276
Nessa?
385
00:15:12,353 --> 00:15:15,453
Nessa, I know
you in here.
386
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,067
I can see the shoes
that you ditched me in.
387
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:18,409
Leave me alone.
388
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,784
Come on, Ness.
389
00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:21,580
I know how you feel.
390
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,594
I know you're really sad
because your real father can't be here.
391
00:15:24,666 --> 00:15:26,116
What?
392
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,287
I know why you didn't ask me
to come to the dance.
393
00:15:28,369 --> 00:15:30,919
I know you kind of upset
about...
394
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:32,307
your real father's situation.
395
00:15:32,382 --> 00:15:36,052
You know... from him being
in the joint and everything.
396
00:15:36,127 --> 00:15:37,837
This has nothing to do
with my dad.
397
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,350
Come on, Nessa, this is me.
You can talk to me.
398
00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:42,813
Half of the girls here
aren't with their real dads.
399
00:15:42,883 --> 00:15:45,523
Okay, then, well, Nessa,
if it ain't your real father
400
00:15:45,594 --> 00:15:47,024
what's the problem then?
401
00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:48,646
My problem is you.
402
00:15:48,723 --> 00:15:51,693
I didn't want to ask you
because I knew it would be a disaster.
403
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,941
We don't get along at home,
so why should we here?
404
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:57,655
Wow, Nessa.
405
00:15:57,732 --> 00:15:59,572
You mean to tell me that...
406
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,374
your father ain't got nothing
to do with this?
407
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:03,204
That this is personal?
408
00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:04,709
Duh.
409
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:12,094
Okay, then, Nessa.
410
00:16:12,163 --> 00:16:13,973
It's on.
411
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,668
Oh, it's on for real now
412
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:18,970
and I'm going to do
just like your real daddy:
413
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,645
I'm going to leave.
414
00:16:30,264 --> 00:16:33,274
Ooh!
415
00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:34,480
(gasps)
416
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,940
What in the world?
417
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,070
What did you do?!
418
00:16:37,146 --> 00:16:38,396
It was an accident!
I swear!
419
00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:40,041
The nozzle came off
the paint can
420
00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:42,366
and it wouldn't
stop coming!
421
00:16:42,443 --> 00:16:44,793
Where's the paint can now?
422
00:16:45,946 --> 00:16:48,966
(gasping):
My Pratesi sheets are in there!
423
00:16:52,286 --> 00:16:54,006
(moans)
424
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:57,768
Oh, you are so dead.
425
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,852
♪♪
426
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,058
Limousine coming.
427
00:17:04,131 --> 00:17:05,721
I have to get
my shawl.
428
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,980
By the time you get it,
it'll be here.
429
00:17:09,053 --> 00:17:11,403
D.J.:
All right, fathers and daughters
430
00:17:11,481 --> 00:17:15,111
it's now time for the
father-daughter dance contest!
431
00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:17,904
You better bring it,
take your daughter's left hand
432
00:17:17,978 --> 00:17:19,988
with your right hand,
and let's come to the floor.
433
00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:21,034
Hit it!
434
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:24,447
♪♪
435
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:28,407
America, I refuse to let
this night end this way.
436
00:17:28,489 --> 00:17:30,579
I don't care what Nessa say.
437
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:32,088
We can have fun together
438
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,498
and I'm going to show her
that we can get along.
439
00:17:34,578 --> 00:17:36,668
Even if I have to drag her
kicking and screaming
440
00:17:36,747 --> 00:17:38,507
we're going to get
in that dance contest.
441
00:17:38,582 --> 00:17:40,762
It's pop time.
It's my night.
442
00:17:40,835 --> 00:17:42,805
Oh, yeah.
443
00:17:44,004 --> 00:17:45,104
Nessa...
444
00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:46,392
What are you doin?
445
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:47,505
Come on, come on,
we're going to win this contest.
446
00:17:47,584 --> 00:17:48,854
Come on.
I'm not dancing with you.
447
00:17:48,926 --> 00:17:50,556
All right,
fathers and daughters
448
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:54,190
let's get this party started
with... the bump.
449
00:17:54,265 --> 00:17:56,565
Just follow me.
Follow me. Come on.
450
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,276
Come on, Nessa. Bump!
451
00:17:59,353 --> 00:18:00,453
Yeah!
452
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:01,490
Now you mad.
453
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,658
Come on, Nessa, look at you.
454
00:18:03,732 --> 00:18:05,082
♪ Party was jumping ♪
455
00:18:06,527 --> 00:18:08,577
Get your hips goin'...
456
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,788
All right, dads and lasses,
I need everybody
457
00:18:10,865 --> 00:18:13,495
and I want to know
if you can Harlem make it.
458
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,290
I need everybody
to Harlem shake it.
459
00:18:15,369 --> 00:18:16,459
What?
460
00:18:16,537 --> 00:18:17,587
What that?
461
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,497
♪ Stash in the dash ♪
462
00:18:18,581 --> 00:18:19,791
♪ Hole through heaters ♪
463
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,796
♪ Blocka! Put holesthrough beaters ♪
464
00:18:21,876 --> 00:18:23,796
♪ Ghetto Fab strollthrough Cheetahs ♪
465
00:18:23,878 --> 00:18:25,888
♪ Balling, Brooklyn dawn ♪
466
00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,113
♪ Addicted to Cryshooked on Don ♪
467
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,154
$300 sheets!
468
00:18:30,226 --> 00:18:31,176
Ow!
469
00:18:31,260 --> 00:18:34,310
$300 just...
can't go and be still!
470
00:18:34,388 --> 00:18:36,188
Gotta just ruin
my new sheets
471
00:18:36,265 --> 00:18:37,475
you little monster!
472
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:38,978
Aunt Wanda.
473
00:18:39,059 --> 00:18:40,609
$300... Uh!
474
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,106
But Aunt Wanda!
475
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:43,158
What?
476
00:18:43,239 --> 00:18:44,619
Something's burning.
477
00:18:44,699 --> 00:18:47,029
(gasping):
Whoo! My pizza!
478
00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:52,199
Oh! Oh, oh!
479
00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:54,371
(shrieking)
480
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,670
Where's the phone?
481
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:59,354
(yelling, whimpering)
482
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:00,812
Help!
483
00:19:00,882 --> 00:19:03,052
Okay, we're down
to our last two couples
484
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:05,425
so we're going to see
if y'all can bank head bounce.
485
00:19:05,502 --> 00:19:08,512
♪ It's a Midwest thang, yall ♪
486
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,223
♪ And they ain't got a clue ♪
487
00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:11,169
♪ They ain't got a clue ♪
488
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,601
♪ Why my Cutlass blue ♪
489
00:19:12,676 --> 00:19:15,016
♪ And I got themthangs on that too ♪
490
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:18,609
♪ It's a Midwest swang,y'all ♪
491
00:19:18,682 --> 00:19:20,202
♪ And they ain't gotta trip ♪
492
00:19:20,276 --> 00:19:21,356
♪ They ain't got a trip ♪
493
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,039
♪ While we swing and dip ♪
494
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:26,281
(coughing)
495
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,161
(groaning)
496
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:30,494
(laughing)
497
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:34,289
D.J.:
And it looks like we have a winner!
498
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,369
Oh... oh, we lost.
499
00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:37,500
Yeah, we did.
500
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:41,206
That's sad.
Yeah, that is sad.
501
00:19:41,288 --> 00:19:42,168
(panting)
502
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,378
Do me a favor.
Hmm?
503
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:45,468
Help your uncle
get over there.
504
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:46,932
All right, you ready?
Okay.
505
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:50,191
Give me an hour, I'll come back,
I'm going to kill 'em.
506
00:19:57,388 --> 00:19:58,308
Hey, Wanda!
507
00:19:58,389 --> 00:19:59,309
Here.
508
00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:00,310
(chuckling)
509
00:20:00,391 --> 00:20:01,571
Thank you.
510
00:20:01,642 --> 00:20:03,902
Baby, you all right?
511
00:20:03,978 --> 00:20:06,358
False alarm.
I burned some pizza.
512
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:07,578
My stuff okay?
513
00:20:07,657 --> 00:20:10,737
Yeah, and the kids are, too,
thank you very much.
514
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:11,872
Oh, no, I'm s....
515
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,624
You had a rough night, huh?
516
00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:15,246
It was a total disaster.
517
00:20:15,322 --> 00:20:17,412
No, it wasn't,
it was awesome!
518
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:18,455
You had a good time?
519
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:19,964
Yeah! Uncle Bernie
520
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,419
the cheese caught on fire,
and the alarm went off.
521
00:20:22,496 --> 00:20:23,916
Then the firemen came.
522
00:20:23,998 --> 00:20:25,508
I got to ride
in the fire engine
523
00:20:25,582 --> 00:20:26,722
and hold the axe!
524
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,216
That axe save lives, you know.
525
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:29,644
Uncle Bernie, can I have an axe?
526
00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:30,692
No.
Please.
527
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,845
No.
Can I have your axe?
528
00:20:31,922 --> 00:20:33,852
No.
529
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,358
Look, I'm
really tired.
530
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:36,734
I'm going
to go to bed.
531
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,312
Good night,
Uncle Bernie.
532
00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:40,277
Good night, Nessa.
533
00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:41,606
-See you, baby.
-See you.
534
00:20:41,682 --> 00:20:43,112
Good night, Nessa.
535
00:20:43,183 --> 00:20:45,953
Good night.
536
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,502
"Good night,
Uncle Bernie."
537
00:20:48,572 --> 00:20:50,532
I'm a hell
of a man, Wanda.
538
00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:53,157
Hell of a man.
539
00:20:53,235 --> 00:20:55,735
Mm, a relationship:
540
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:59,501
"an emotional or other
connection between people."
541
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:04,005
Well, hmm, I guess we got
the other, and that's a start.
542
00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:06,798
America, we could build on that.
543
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:09,684
Let's see what else
I got up in here.
544
00:21:09,752 --> 00:21:12,592
Here's a good one--
all right, relapse:
545
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:15,641
"to fall or slip back
into a former state."
546
00:21:15,716 --> 00:21:17,306
Oh, Lord.
547
00:21:17,384 --> 00:21:19,864
Y'all pray for me, America.
548
00:21:22,732 --> 00:21:25,862
(moaning)
(crew laughing)
549
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:27,334
-That's bull.
-Yeah, that's some bull.
550
00:21:27,403 --> 00:21:28,943
I think we lost.
Uh, I think we did.
551
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:31,111
That's sad.
That is sad.
552
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,540
-Lost to some Latino.
-(giggles)
553
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,330
Let's move on.
554
00:21:35,411 --> 00:21:38,121
Yeah. Hey.
Is that a nurse over there?
555
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,827
No, that...
That ain't...?
556
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:41,967
No, uh-uh.
She look like it.
557
00:21:42,043 --> 00:21:43,543
Come on.
Take me over there.
558
00:21:43,619 --> 00:21:46,629
Let's see if she'll give me
some mouth-to-mouth.
559
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:47,495
That's a he.
560
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:50,875
Oh. Let's try him anyway.
561
00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:52,389
Don't walk so fast.
562
00:21:52,470 --> 00:21:55,020
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
563
00:21:55,070 --> 00:21:59,620
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