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1
00:00:18,159 --> 00:00:19,009
(muttering)
2
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,536
...around something, baby.
3
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,971
I go this way,
I got something else going.
4
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:26,223
Oh, hey, America.
How you doing?
5
00:00:26,301 --> 00:00:27,851
I'm just very put out
at the moment.
6
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,188
America, Bernie Mac is vexed.
7
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,363
Listen, I walked
in the kitchen,
8
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,902
and I see trash
that's overrunning.
9
00:00:34,976 --> 00:00:36,776
Smell nasty!
Funky, foul.
10
00:00:36,853 --> 00:00:39,163
So, I asked Vanessa
11
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,279
why she didn't take
the trash out, like I told her.
12
00:00:41,358 --> 00:00:44,028
She had the audacity
to look me in the eye
13
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:46,291
and boldface lie, I tell you.
14
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:49,873
Said I never told her,
when I know good and well I did.
15
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,210
That's pathological.
16
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:54,995
That's why I banished her
to her room just now.
17
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,550
(cackling)
18
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,013
What you laughing at?
19
00:00:58,083 --> 00:01:00,133
You told me
to take out the trash!
20
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:01,390
Well, why you didn't
do it, then?
21
00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:04,230
Uh-oh.
22
00:01:06,424 --> 00:01:10,144
I could have sworn
I gave Vanessa that chore.
23
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:13,360
The kids got me
all discombobulated.
24
00:01:13,431 --> 00:01:17,401
So, I guess I punished
the poor girl for nothing.
25
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,281
Well, I'm sure she'll do
something later on.
26
00:01:20,355 --> 00:01:24,065
So, what was I getting ready
to do, America?
27
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,451
What was I...?
28
00:01:26,528 --> 00:01:28,408
Oh, yeah.
'Scuse me one minute.
29
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,008
(yelling)
Come here, boy!
30
00:01:30,082 --> 00:01:33,832
(cartoonish music playing)
31
00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,540
Baby girl, you seen my keys?
32
00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:36,590
Uh-uh.
33
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,713
You sure?
34
00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:39,800
Uncle Bernie,
pull my finger.
35
00:01:39,875 --> 00:01:41,125
What?
36
00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:43,089
Uncle Bernie, hurry.
Pull my finger.
37
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,590
Well, don't you
see I'm busy?
38
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,555
I'll pull it.
39
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,719
Ain't nobody
pulling nothing!
40
00:01:46,798 --> 00:01:47,928
Uncle Bernie, hurry.
41
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,138
I can't hold it much longer.
42
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:50,387
Pull my finger.
43
00:01:50,468 --> 00:01:52,268
Boy, you better not pass
no gas up in here.
44
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,435
Go in the bathroom,
like you got some doggone sense.
45
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:55,614
(giggles)
46
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,726
Too late.
47
00:01:56,808 --> 00:01:58,778
You stinkin'..
48
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,702
Oh, oh, 'Ness!
49
00:02:00,779 --> 00:02:01,739
Bryana!
50
00:02:01,813 --> 00:02:02,953
Oh-aw!
51
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,053
Jordan.
52
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:04,994
Thank you, Wanda.
53
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,236
Jordan!
54
00:02:06,318 --> 00:02:08,908
You know, you know
better than that.
55
00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:10,697
What was I looking for?
56
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:12,960
Y'all see
what these kids doing to me.
57
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,213
I can't think no more.
58
00:02:15,285 --> 00:02:17,285
They make my brain hot.
59
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:20,090
It's like I got a George Foreman
grill in my head,
60
00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:21,629
and I got to drain the grease.
61
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:25,298
If they keep it up,
I'm going to lose my mind.
62
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:28,048
(weeping)
And I know they gonna keep it up.
63
00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:30,141
You know it, too.
64
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:33,137
All right. Car seat,
backpack, jacket.
65
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:34,280
I think we got
everything.
66
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:35,724
No, no, no,
you don't.
67
00:02:35,798 --> 00:02:37,978
You ain't bringing that
drippy mess in my car.
68
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,318
But I'm not finished.
69
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,362
-Throw it away.
-I don't want to.
70
00:02:41,436 --> 00:02:43,526
-Throw it away.
-But I don't want to.
71
00:02:43,605 --> 00:02:45,785
Jordan!
72
00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:50,080
Uncle Bernie!
73
00:02:50,153 --> 00:02:51,703
Uncle Bernie!
74
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:52,750
(tires screech)
75
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:53,956
Oh, Lord.
76
00:02:54,032 --> 00:02:55,552
Hey, Wanda?
77
00:02:55,626 --> 00:02:57,376
Hmm?
78
00:02:57,452 --> 00:02:59,172
I think something's
wrong with me.
79
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:01,626
I can't remember nothin'.
I'm losing my memory.
80
00:03:01,706 --> 00:03:03,006
Don't worry, baby.
81
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,513
It happens to everyone
once in a while.
82
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,119
Yeah.
83
00:03:07,196 --> 00:03:08,966
But I ain't talking
every once in a while.
84
00:03:09,047 --> 00:03:12,227
It keeps up,
Baby Girl going to be on a milk carton.
85
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,680
Hey, Wanda?
86
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,021
Hmm?
87
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,346
You think I got
a brain tumor
88
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,190
or a memory cancer?
89
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:22,526
Maybe you should just
write things down.
90
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,822
Yeah.
91
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,529
She's right.
92
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:28,405
I just need a little help
on keeping things straight.
93
00:03:28,483 --> 00:03:30,783
I'm not going to let
the little devils kill
94
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,314
my brain cells, oh, no.
95
00:03:32,387 --> 00:03:33,867
See, that's
where technology come in.
96
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,501
Look. Check it out.
97
00:03:35,573 --> 00:03:37,923
It got a to-do list,
an address book,
98
00:03:37,993 --> 00:03:41,343
and a section where I can write
my little reminder notes
99
00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:43,513
like "Kill Jordan"
and "Kill Vanessa,"
100
00:03:43,581 --> 00:03:46,091
"Tell baby girl her brother
and sister ran away."
101
00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:48,347
I need to get that down.
102
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:53,403
Where did I put
that little pen thingie at?
103
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,543
I just had it.
104
00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:04,147
Don't see it.
105
00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:06,067
I cannot believe...
106
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,910
I had the thing
right around here.
107
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,072
(sighs)
108
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:12,990
Man, this is... Aw!
109
00:04:13,069 --> 00:04:14,699
Oh, my knee.
110
00:04:14,779 --> 00:04:16,909
Lord...
111
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,420
Oh, Lord!
112
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,511
(Wanda humming)
113
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:35,390
Bernie, it looks like
a drugstore in here.
114
00:04:35,467 --> 00:04:37,677
Are you okay?
115
00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:40,941
Uh, couple or few
nagging little things bothering me, baby.
116
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,414
It's those doggone kids, man.
117
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,442
They wearing me down
like a virus.
118
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,777
But you better believe,
I'm fighting back.
119
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:49,323
With the miracle
of modern medicine, I'm fighting back.
120
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:51,277
Bernie, I don't
use hair dye.
121
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,618
It's mine, baby.
122
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,423
But you've been getting
gray hair since you were 20.
123
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,416
On my head.
124
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,535
Oh...
125
00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:06,634
Well, as long as
everything still works,
126
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,836
I wouldn't
worry about it.
127
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:09,967
(loud smack)
128
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,303
(groans)
129
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,348
VANESSA:
Uncle Bernie?
130
00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:15,601
We've decided that we don't want
fish tonight.
131
00:05:15,673 --> 00:05:17,643
What you mean, you decided?
132
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,137
Well, we took a vote,
and we want Royal Burger.
133
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,400
What you mean, you took a vote?
134
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,442
Royal Burger!
Royal Burger!
135
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,820
ALL:
Royal Burger! Royal Burger!
136
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:29,493
Her, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Ain't no Royal Burger nothing.
137
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,152
Royal nothing.
We're making fish.
138
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,531
Royal Burgers
have fish.
139
00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:33,817
-♪ It's got fish ♪
-Royal Burger...
140
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,490
-♪ It's got fun ♪
-Royal Burger...
141
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,492
♪ It's got everything
under the... ♪
142
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,294
Look, look, look.
Shut up!
143
00:05:39,364 --> 00:05:42,504
I can see what they're doing,
but they can't break me down.
144
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:43,825
I'm fully medicated.
145
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,250
-♪ It's got... ♪
-Stop bouncing
146
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:46,468
Baby girl,
stop it.
147
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,006
But you promised
you'd make us Royal Burger.
148
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,222
You promised.
You lied.
149
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:52,881
Who you calling a liar, Jordan?
150
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,261
Liar, liar, liar!
151
00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:55,887
Jordan, Jordan,
you calling me...?
152
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,264
You calling me a liar?
153
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:58,560
You calling me
a liar? Huh?
154
00:05:58,633 --> 00:06:00,353
Liar, liar, liar,
liar, liar, liar...!
155
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,627
Would you quit
moving like that?
156
00:06:01,712 --> 00:06:03,562
Liar, liar, liar, liar,
liar, liar, liar, liar!
157
00:06:03,638 --> 00:06:05,648
Liar, liar, liar
liar, liar, liar!
158
00:06:05,723 --> 00:06:08,153
Royal Burger,
Royal Burger, Royal Burger...!
159
00:06:08,226 --> 00:06:10,026
VANESSA:
Uncle Bernie?
160
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,033
JORDON:
Is he okay?
161
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,705
Are you all right?
162
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,298
Ow!
163
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,134
Well, your heart is fine.
164
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:29,002
You just had an attack
of acute acid reflux--
165
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,930
painful, but far from fatal.
166
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,340
Doc, is that like heartburn?
167
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,070
Yes.
168
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,097
See, as we get older,
fatty foods and alcohol,
169
00:06:39,174 --> 00:06:41,224
overeating can
really take a toll.
170
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:44,141
So, you're saying
I ended up in the E.R. because I ate too much?
171
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:45,280
Well, that
could be a cause,
172
00:06:45,355 --> 00:06:47,275
but sometimes
it's just stress.
173
00:06:47,357 --> 00:06:49,947
Do you have any new sources
of stress in your life?
174
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,025
Look, the fact is, Mr. Mac,
you're getting older.
175
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,533
And as much as
we'd all like to
176
00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:02,211
you can't stop
the aging process.
177
00:07:04,949 --> 00:07:06,999
You just can't stop it.
178
00:07:07,076 --> 00:07:09,536
I'm talking about
the aging process.
179
00:07:09,621 --> 00:07:12,761
It didn't even start
until these kids came around.
180
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:14,722
I'll tell you one thing,
America:
181
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,342
I'm not going to let it send me
to my grave
182
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:17,839
before my time, no, sir,
183
00:07:17,921 --> 00:07:20,101
because Mac man's
going to fight back.
184
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,813
I'm going to change
my way of life.
185
00:07:22,884 --> 00:07:24,524
Get back to my old self.
186
00:07:24,594 --> 00:07:25,984
Like I was back in the day.
187
00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:27,564
Maximum Mac, baby.
188
00:07:27,639 --> 00:07:33,689
(R & B music plays)
189
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:34,910
(volume increases)
190
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,824
Hey, can you turn
down your oldies?
191
00:07:39,901 --> 00:07:41,201
I'm trying to do my homework.
192
00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:42,537
What?
193
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,002
I'm listening
to my music.
194
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,962
I don't say nothing to you,
'Nessa, when you listen
195
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,752
to that crap you call music.
196
00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,375
-Yes, you do.
-Well, it's my house.
197
00:07:49,452 --> 00:07:51,542
You want some privacy,
why don't you go to the library
198
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:52,881
or one of your friends' home?
199
00:07:52,956 --> 00:07:55,046
You got a lot
of nerve, man.
200
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:58,344
Talking about, you listen
to Mary J. Blige,
201
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:01,973
uh, uh, those Street Boys
and all that bull.
202
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,968
Talking about oldies?
203
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,730
♪ You got to fightthe power that be ♪
204
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,563
Music.
205
00:08:08,638 --> 00:08:10,948
♪ Got so many forces ♪
206
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:15,244
♪ Stayin' onthe scene, yeah ♪
207
00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:19,911
♪ Givin' up all around me ♪
208
00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:22,913
♪ Faces full of pain ♪
209
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,790
♪ You got to fightthe power that be ♪
210
00:08:25,863 --> 00:08:27,383
♪ Got it baby ♪
211
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:28,787
♪ Woo ♪
212
00:08:28,866 --> 00:08:30,006
♪ Yeah ♪
213
00:08:30,785 --> 00:08:32,245
♪ Even you and I can ♪
214
00:08:32,328 --> 00:08:33,588
♪ Fight the power ♪
215
00:08:33,663 --> 00:08:34,753
♪ Come on ♪
216
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,121
♪ Fight it ♪
217
00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:42,929
♪ Fight the power ♪
218
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:45,716
She had the nerve
to call my music oldies, man.
219
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,930
The Isley Brothers
ain't oldies, man.
220
00:08:48,011 --> 00:08:49,391
Isley Brothers's goodies.
221
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,754
Bernie--
222
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,441
when's the last time
you seen Ronald Isley?
223
00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:55,185
That brother's about
97 years old, man.
224
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,728
BERNIE:
Come on, man, come on.
225
00:08:56,811 --> 00:08:59,371
Okay, okay, okay.
He's old.
226
00:08:59,447 --> 00:09:03,487
That don't make us
old for listening to him now, Kelly?
227
00:09:03,568 --> 00:09:05,238
Come on, now, ain't
none of us old, right?
228
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,370
Uh, uh, fellows, looky here.
229
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,041
-That's a good hand.
-Read them and weep.
230
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,626
Come on, man,
come on, man, come on.
231
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:14,922
That's it for me,
man. I'm done.
232
00:09:14,996 --> 00:09:16,956
Come on, Chuy,
you done, man?
233
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,300
Chuy, what you
be talking about?
234
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:21,295
It's early,
it's only 10:30.
235
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:23,177
Yo, I got to get going too, man.
236
00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:24,604
Why do you gotta get going?
237
00:09:24,672 --> 00:09:26,852
Man, look here-- we used to play
all night long, man.
238
00:09:26,924 --> 00:09:28,984
Come on, man, we ain't never
left like this.
239
00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:30,112
What's the problem now?
240
00:09:30,186 --> 00:09:32,936
-We got kids, now, man.
-I know, see.
241
00:09:33,014 --> 00:09:35,694
See, you ain't
got no kids.
242
00:09:35,767 --> 00:09:37,117
Yeah, I'm just old, man.
243
00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:39,283
He ain't lying about that.
244
00:09:39,354 --> 00:09:41,034
Come on, Kelly,
we ain't old.
245
00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:42,205
Ain't none
of us old, man.
246
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,662
Come on,
play one more.
247
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:44,583
Chuy, come on.
248
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,748
Bam!
249
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,792
( laughs)
250
00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:53,206
Yo, you win, dog.
251
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,468
Look, I got to go crash, man.
252
00:09:55,545 --> 00:09:59,255
Come on, what you mean,
you going to crash, big fella?
253
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:00,921
Come on, you never
did me like this.
254
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,450
Oh, man, it's
3:00 a.m.
255
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,637
If I don't get
no sleep soon,
256
00:10:03,711 --> 00:10:06,011
I'm going to pay for it
in the morning.
257
00:10:06,089 --> 00:10:08,559
Okay, okay, fine, fine. Go.
258
00:10:08,633 --> 00:10:11,313
And take your lightweight
with you-- go on.
259
00:10:11,386 --> 00:10:12,936
Oh, man, come on
now, man...
260
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:13,852
You ain't never did
this to me, man.
261
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,070
Let's go.
262
00:10:16,557 --> 00:10:18,357
(mocking friends)
"Oh, it's 3:00 a.m.
263
00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:19,904
If I don't get
my beauty sleep,
264
00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:22,067
I'm going to pay for it
in the morning.
265
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:24,406
Please-- back in the day,
I could stay up all night,
266
00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:26,142
sleep an hour
and wake up fresh.
267
00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:30,197
BRYANA (quietly)
Uncle Bernie? Uncle Bernie?
268
00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:32,329
(shouting)
Uncle Bernie!
269
00:10:32,407 --> 00:10:36,377
Baby girl, please stop
hollering, please.
270
00:10:36,452 --> 00:10:38,422
(voice echoing)
Uncle Bernie,
271
00:10:38,496 --> 00:10:39,746
are you dying?
272
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:43,841
If God have mercy on me.
273
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:46,228
(shouting)
Uncle Bernie...
274
00:11:00,601 --> 00:11:03,701
(erotic moaning)
275
00:11:03,771 --> 00:11:05,201
WANDA:
That's nice.
276
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,543
BERNIE:
Yes, it is.
277
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,589
-I'm sorry.
-(beep)
278
00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:20,129
23 seconds.
279
00:11:20,204 --> 00:11:22,004
That's humbling.
280
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:24,591
What y'all looking at?
281
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:27,007
Oh, you think I'm some kind
of old man?
282
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:29,136
You think my best days
behind me?
283
00:11:29,213 --> 00:11:31,813
(tapping on can)
284
00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:35,233
Maybe they are.
285
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,573
(tapping continues)
286
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,316
Uncle Bernie,
287
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,857
will you play with me?
288
00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:46,856
Not now, baby girl.
Not now.
289
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:47,859
No, look.
290
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,740
What?
291
00:11:53,529 --> 00:11:55,579
"Daddy and me basketball.
292
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,290
Come join the fun."
293
00:11:57,366 --> 00:11:59,586
Baby girl, I don't know.
I'm too old.
294
00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,129
I don't think I'd be able
to do that.
295
00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:02,384
My body's worn out, sweetheart.
296
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,595
I ain't got it like that.
297
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:06,631
(basketball bouncing)
298
00:12:06,709 --> 00:12:08,719
I know one thing:
back in the day
299
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,795
I used to play basketball
from sunup to sundown.
300
00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:13,641
Yes, sir.
301
00:12:13,716 --> 00:12:15,976
The only reason I stopped,
we didn't have no streetlights.
302
00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:17,482
And I used to rule
the court, too.
303
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:18,813
People used to come
see me play
304
00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:20,358
all around.
305
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,440
Come on, let's go, man.
306
00:12:24,519 --> 00:12:26,649
And I'll tell you
something else:
307
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,819
That's exactly what
you and me gonna do.
308
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:29,992
And you know what else?
309
00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:30,986
We gonna win it, too.
310
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,447
Yay!
311
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,947
You want me to show you
some of my moves?
312
00:12:34,028 --> 00:12:34,948
Come on.
313
00:12:35,029 --> 00:12:37,539
Uncle Bernie will show you.
314
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:40,179
Little girl, watch me
school these guys.
315
00:12:40,251 --> 00:12:41,331
What's up, you squares?
316
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,880
Can I run with y'all?
317
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:47,639
(laughing)
318
00:12:47,717 --> 00:12:48,967
I guess, man.
319
00:12:49,043 --> 00:12:50,303
Yeah, "come on, old man."
320
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,838
Can an old man do this, huh?
321
00:12:51,921 --> 00:12:52,851
That's cool.
322
00:12:52,922 --> 00:12:54,352
You know
what I'm saying.
323
00:12:54,423 --> 00:12:55,683
Don't hurt yourself.
324
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,482
This an old man?
325
00:12:57,552 --> 00:12:58,992
Why do an old man
move like that?
326
00:12:59,062 --> 00:13:00,362
Oh... oh!
327
00:13:00,438 --> 00:13:02,148
I'm going to show you
what an old man can do.
328
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,023
Look, look, look.
329
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,400
(yells in pain)
330
00:13:06,477 --> 00:13:08,857
Oh...
331
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,572
(groaning)
332
00:13:11,649 --> 00:13:12,989
Uncle Bernie.
333
00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,537
Baby girl, don't look.
334
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:18,757
You did.
335
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,020
(motor humming)
336
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,387
Yeah, it's true, America.
337
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,100
The kids won.
338
00:13:39,176 --> 00:13:41,056
I'm over the hill now.
339
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:43,267
My time has passed.
340
00:13:43,347 --> 00:13:46,437
And trying to fight it
only makes you look foolish,
341
00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:48,777
like Fat Elvis
or Little Richard.
342
00:13:48,853 --> 00:13:51,613
♪ Whoo! ♪
I ain't got time for that.
343
00:13:51,689 --> 00:13:56,739
From now on, I got to slow down,
act my age.
344
00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:59,079
Now go on, America.
345
00:13:59,155 --> 00:14:01,705
I need to get my rest.
346
00:14:01,782 --> 00:14:03,762
(motor humming)
347
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,393
WANDA:
Oh, Bernie, you look miserable.
348
00:14:10,466 --> 00:14:13,836
Isn't there any way I can make
you more comfortable?
349
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,260
Oh, Wanda, don't do that!
350
00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:16,808
Don't, don't do that.
351
00:14:18,182 --> 00:14:19,972
There's nothing
you can do.
352
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,312
When I sit up...
when I sit up, my back hurts.
353
00:14:22,386 --> 00:14:24,106
When I lay down,
354
00:14:24,188 --> 00:14:26,808
my reflux started kicking in.
355
00:14:26,891 --> 00:14:29,151
So why don't you sit
in your chair a little?
356
00:14:29,226 --> 00:14:31,106
I can't.
357
00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,457
Hemorrhoids.
358
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,818
Well, Nurse Wanda
is running out to the store,
359
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,520
but when she gets back,
360
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:40,620
she'll give you
a little sponge bath.
361
00:14:40,696 --> 00:14:42,326
How'd the patient
like that?
362
00:14:42,406 --> 00:14:43,496
Oh...
363
00:14:43,574 --> 00:14:45,834
Oh, Wanda! My neck!
364
00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:48,850
(sighs)
365
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,547
Get away from me.
366
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,335
Jordan, Jordan, stop it.
Stop it.
367
00:14:55,419 --> 00:14:56,799
You making a mess.
368
00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:58,549
Jordan!
369
00:14:58,631 --> 00:14:59,881
Did y'all hear what I...?
370
00:14:59,957 --> 00:15:02,017
Boy, you just look
at this mess you made.
371
00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:03,433
I'm gonna whup his ass.
372
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:04,601
I'm not kidding.
373
00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:05,849
Jordan!
374
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:06,940
Look at this.
375
00:15:07,014 --> 00:15:09,024
I'm gonna whup his ass.
376
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,190
I ain't...
377
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,401
Jordan! Jordan!
378
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,107
He think I'm playing.
379
00:15:13,187 --> 00:15:15,817
He think I am playing
around here.
380
00:15:15,898 --> 00:15:17,338
I'm not playing...
381
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,276
Boy, I tell you,
I whup your ass, I'm...
382
00:15:20,361 --> 00:15:22,551
(crashing)
383
00:15:26,784 --> 00:15:28,754
Who in the heck am I kidding?
384
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:32,302
I couldn't whup his ass
if my life depended on it.
385
00:15:32,373 --> 00:15:35,353
I'm too old to be running around
after kids.
386
00:15:35,426 --> 00:15:38,296
I might really hurt myself.
387
00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:41,889
From now on,
Bernie Mac's retired.
388
00:15:41,966 --> 00:15:45,646
Now... I got time to catch up
on my reading.
389
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,459
(TV playing)
390
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:06,471
(Aretha Franklin
singing "Think")
391
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,249
♪ You better think ♪
392
00:16:07,324 --> 00:16:08,874
♪ Think ♪
393
00:16:08,943 --> 00:16:10,923
♪ Think about whatyou're trying to do to me ♪
394
00:16:10,995 --> 00:16:11,665
♪ Think ♪
395
00:16:11,746 --> 00:16:13,026
♪ Think, think ♪
396
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,416
♪ Let your mind go,let yourself be free ♪
397
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:16,969
♪ Let's go back,
let's go back ♪
398
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,763
♪ Let's go way onback when ♪
399
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,331
♪ I didn't even know you ♪
400
00:16:21,405 --> 00:16:23,385
♪ You couldn't have beentoo much more than ten ♪
401
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:24,516
♪ Just a child ♪
402
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:25,941
♪ I ain't no psychiatrist ♪
403
00:16:27,178 --> 00:16:29,268
Hey!
404
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,230
Hey!
405
00:16:31,307 --> 00:16:32,437
Here.
406
00:16:32,516 --> 00:16:34,226
Thank you, sweetheart.
Appreciate it.
407
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:37,490
♪ Think about whatyou're trying to do to me ♪
408
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,113
(snoring)
409
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,120
♪ Let your mind go,let yourself be free ♪
410
00:16:41,192 --> 00:16:42,912
♪ Oh, freedom ♪
411
00:16:42,985 --> 00:16:44,035
♪ Freedom ♪
412
00:16:44,111 --> 00:16:45,121
♪ Freedom ♪
413
00:16:45,196 --> 00:16:46,016
♪ Freedom ♪
414
00:16:46,097 --> 00:16:47,587
♪ Oh, freedom ♪
415
00:16:47,665 --> 00:16:50,455
♪ Yeah, freedom ♪
416
00:16:50,534 --> 00:16:51,604
♪ Freedom ♪
417
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,587
♪ Freedom ♪
418
00:16:52,661 --> 00:16:53,631
♪ Freedom ♪
419
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:54,918
♪ Freedom ♪
420
00:16:54,997 --> 00:16:55,807
♪ Freedom ♪
421
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:59,176
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What you doing?
422
00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:00,761
You were asleep.
423
00:17:00,836 --> 00:17:03,256
I wasn't asleep.
I was resting my eyes.
424
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,309
Turn it back.
425
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:05,521
Whatever.
426
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,697
(motor humming)
427
00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:12,859
♪ You better think ♪
428
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,380
♪ Think ♪
429
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:16,608
♪ Think about whatyou're trying to do to me ♪
430
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,065
♪ Think ♪
431
00:17:18,145 --> 00:17:20,865
♪ Let your mind go,let yourself be free ♪
432
00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:22,778
♪ People walkingaround everyday ♪
433
00:17:22,858 --> 00:17:24,908
♪ Playing games,taking score ♪
434
00:17:24,985 --> 00:17:26,985
♪ Trying to make otherpeople lose their minds ♪
435
00:17:27,071 --> 00:17:29,461
♪ Ah, be careful youdon't lose yours, oh ♪
436
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,506
WANDA:
Bernie, get out of bed.
437
00:17:33,577 --> 00:17:34,837
For what, Wanda?
438
00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:36,002
I'm tired...
439
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,190
I ain't in no shape.
440
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,474
Baby, I been trying
to get up all day...
441
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,586
Bryana's basketball game.
442
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,639
I can't play
no basketball.
443
00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:44,692
Wanda, I'm tired.
444
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,514
My back hurts
and everything.
445
00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:47,680
I ain't going to be able
to do that.
446
00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:49,308
WANDA:
Oh, you don't have to play.
447
00:17:49,385 --> 00:17:51,015
I got W.B. to fill in.
448
00:17:51,095 --> 00:17:52,855
I knew you wouldn't
be able to.
449
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:55,884
What?
450
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,002
You obviously aren't
feeling up to it.
451
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,320
Do you think you're strong
enough to go down and watch?
452
00:17:59,395 --> 00:18:00,515
Strong enough?
453
00:18:00,596 --> 00:18:02,536
Well, after the other night...
454
00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:05,135
The other night?
455
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,408
Why she got to bring that up?
456
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:09,496
That's a sensitive subject,
America.
457
00:18:09,572 --> 00:18:12,332
Now she got W.B.
taking my spot.
458
00:18:12,408 --> 00:18:13,498
That's ridiculous.
459
00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:15,326
I mean, ludicrous, absurd.
460
00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:17,131
I'm still here.
461
00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,884
I may be a lot of things,
but I ain't dead yet.
462
00:18:19,957 --> 00:18:23,337
And even if it kills me,
I'm not gonna be replaced.
463
00:18:23,419 --> 00:18:24,539
No, sir.
464
00:18:24,621 --> 00:18:27,941
There ain't no substitute
for Bernie Mac.
465
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,027
(whistle blows)
466
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:37,161
BERNIE:
Substitute, Ref!
467
00:18:44,398 --> 00:18:45,638
Uncle Bernie!
468
00:18:45,716 --> 00:18:47,156
Yo, man, what are
you doing here?
469
00:18:47,234 --> 00:18:49,414
Hey, man, thanks for
holding it down, man.
470
00:18:49,486 --> 00:18:51,496
But I had to do it
for baby girl.
471
00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:53,712
Aw, man, that's
all good, dog.
472
00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:56,132
Yo, and I'm glad to see
Bernie Mac is back.
473
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:57,262
Oh, I'm back.
474
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,140
-And dig.
-What's that?
475
00:18:58,212 --> 00:19:02,842
Little girl, she goes
to her left.
476
00:19:02,917 --> 00:19:05,097
How many daddies
do you have?
477
00:19:06,462 --> 00:19:09,472
♪♪
478
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:11,138
Baby girl, you ain't seen
nothing yet.
479
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:12,777
I'ma tell you right no--
480
00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:17,056
(whistle blows)
481
00:19:17,139 --> 00:19:20,439
That's the last time
that's going to happen.
482
00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:22,277
Yeah, what's up?
What's up?
483
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,397
Baby girl, catch this.
484
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:24,489
(whistle blows)
485
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:25,373
Here.
486
00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:27,450
Go, baby.
487
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:31,668
♪♪
488
00:19:35,532 --> 00:19:37,222
Come on.
Come on, baby girl.
489
00:19:37,293 --> 00:19:40,143
Come on, baby girl...
490
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:45,884
Yeah!
491
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:46,764
Rejected!
492
00:19:46,835 --> 00:19:48,005
(whistle blows)
493
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:48,757
Violation.
494
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,117
What you talking about?
495
00:19:50,197 --> 00:19:51,637
Sir, you cannot block
her shot like that.
496
00:19:51,715 --> 00:19:53,135
Baby, I'm trying to win
the game, man.
497
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:54,887
That's how we did back
in the day. Come on!
498
00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:56,269
Sir, this is not
a competitive event.
499
00:19:56,345 --> 00:19:58,805
At Wellington, all
the kids are winners.
500
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,273
I bet you their
team don't win. I guarantee it.
501
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:02,450
My team gonna win.
502
00:20:02,526 --> 00:20:04,436
I'm going to have to ask
you just to calm down.
503
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,900
Calm down?
What you mean calm down?
504
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:07,490
What you gonna
do if I don't?
505
00:20:07,564 --> 00:20:08,914
You gonna give me
a technical?
506
00:20:08,983 --> 00:20:10,493
Sir, again, this is
a kids' game.
507
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:11,927
There are no technicals.
508
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,122
Then I ain't got
to calm down.
509
00:20:13,195 --> 00:20:15,075
It's basketball.
This ain't field hockey!
510
00:20:15,155 --> 00:20:16,155
(whistle blows)
511
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,160
Technical!
512
00:20:17,241 --> 00:20:18,621
Come on, what you mean!
513
00:20:18,692 --> 00:20:20,922
Only reason you called it
'cause I'm black.
514
00:20:20,995 --> 00:20:23,005
Only reason.
That's some bull!
515
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:24,973
♪♪
516
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,009
Hey, baby...
517
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,478
I'm back!
518
00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:29,512
(growls)
519
00:20:29,586 --> 00:20:30,506
(crowd cheers)
520
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,191
(whistle blows)
521
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,927
You know what?
522
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,855
That felt real good.
523
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,687
I mean, I landed
on my head and all,
524
00:20:44,768 --> 00:20:46,358
but you know, the thrill
of victory
525
00:20:46,437 --> 00:20:49,317
worth a couple of more weeks
in this here scooter.
526
00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:52,868
See, everyone gets old,
whether you got kids or not.
527
00:20:52,943 --> 00:20:55,413
But I mean, well, so what?
528
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:57,957
The truth is,
I like being old.
529
00:20:58,032 --> 00:21:00,622
I like my music.
I like my movies,
530
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:03,841
and I truly like
who the heck I am.
531
00:21:03,912 --> 00:21:05,712
And I'm not just getting better
with age.
532
00:21:05,789 --> 00:21:07,419
I mean, like fine wine.
533
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:12,219
No matter how old I get,
I'll still be the Mac man.
534
00:21:12,296 --> 00:21:13,886
(footsteps thudding)
535
00:21:13,964 --> 00:21:15,644
Honey,
can you help me?
536
00:21:15,716 --> 00:21:16,926
Yeah.
537
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,889
I think I found
a gray hair.
538
00:21:18,969 --> 00:21:21,349
Bend down and let
me see it, baby.
539
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:23,810
Not on my head.
540
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:25,481
Drop it like it's hot.
541
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:27,029
Ooh...
542
00:21:31,273 --> 00:21:33,573
Here's your ride home.
543
00:21:33,650 --> 00:21:35,530
"Drop it like it's hot."
Hmm nothing.
544
00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:38,091
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
545
00:21:45,996 --> 00:21:47,636
(snoring)
546
00:22:04,306 --> 00:22:06,236
(snoring continues)
547
00:22:06,286 --> 00:22:10,836
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