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1
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,574
Oh, simple Allison.
2
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:12,534
Previously On "Kevin
Can Himself"...
3
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:15,363
I just don't know when I got
so isolated from everyone.
4
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,147
You blew up my life.
Was that just for fun?
5
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,801
I felt sorry for you.
6
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,387
I was hoping to do
some computer research.
7
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,153
About a woman who decides
to kill her husband.
8
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:26,461
I killed with oxycodone and
made it look like an O.D.
9
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,724
These types of pills get abused.
10
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,726
Yeah, I've heard.
11
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,162
I swear I know someone.
12
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,337
Thank you.
13
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:36,036
Oh, it's drugs. Shit.
14
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,130
Dad!
15
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:45,132
I hope you still
have some contacts
16
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,413
in the Miracles
Department of the church,
17
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:47,569
because this... Oh.
18
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,092
Qualifies.
19
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:51,921
That is a great bag.
20
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,705
Very roomy.
21
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,838
I think he's talking
about what's inside.
22
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,970
Please don't be alive.
Please don't be alive.
23
00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,624
Also, please don't be dead.
24
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,429
So, there I was,
walking down the street.
25
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,107
No one else was
around when... boom!
26
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,806
This just appeared
in front of me.
27
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,984
Kevin!
28
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:14,639
"Hart Live at the
Worcester Centrum."
29
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,467
W... You took that?!
30
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:19,557
The wind took it off the side
of the Worcester Centrum.
31
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,429
And it's got your name on it,
32
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,561
so legally, it belongs to you.
33
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:26,521
Wow, your grasp of the legal
system is so interesting.
34
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:29,045
My public defender
said the same thing.
35
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,135
Let's hang my banner off
the side of the house, yeah?
36
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,181
After we staple the
good sheets over
37
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,052
anything that
doesn't say "Kevin."
38
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,836
Why would you
specify the good...
39
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,360
Never mind.
40
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:42,058
Alright, ideas on
how we can do this?
41
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,973
I got my dad's towing winches.
42
00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,366
You're a winch.
43
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,848
No, guys, we use
the towing winches
44
00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,415
to do a pulley system.
45
00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,765
A "system?" Patty,
we're climbing one roof.
46
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,071
We're not gonna take Vegas.
47
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,420
I know.
48
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,205
Neil, you shimmy
up the drain pipe
49
00:01:58,248 --> 00:02:00,120
and hang it off the
old lightning rod.
50
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,904
I'm sure it doesn't
do anything important.
51
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,079
Please be careful.
52
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,472
On it. Fine! Do it your way!
53
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,474
Oh. I'd say break a leg...
54
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:07,668
Wait, I'm stuck!...but
Neil most definitely will.
55
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,501
My brother broke his leg.
56
00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:36,199
40 megs of OxyContin, comin' up.
57
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,203
Remember you missed prom
'cause Neil got a concussion?
58
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:43,250
Yeah, Terrance.
59
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:46,078
That's why I didn't
go to the prom.
60
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:48,820
I called ahead, you know.
They should be ready.
61
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,082
Gotta wait all day?
62
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,521
You know, these
pills are pricey.
63
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:56,045
I could get my hands on
some generics for you.
64
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,438
In the future.
65
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,875
It's alright.
Medicaid covers it.
66
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,268
I mean, like
67
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,487
they only give you 10 of these.
68
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:06,273
So if your brother
ever needs a refill,
69
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:09,580
come back and see
me for the generic.
70
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,367
Oh, I...
71
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,936
No.
72
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:20,939
You got a degree.
73
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,550
A good job.
74
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:25,117
Don't be an idiot with
this stuff, Terrance.
75
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,858
With what?
76
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,257
Okay, lady, let's get
you out of this chair.
77
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,911
Ooh. You got it?
78
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,869
I'm not an invalid yet.
79
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:40,437
Okay. Okay.
80
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:46,443
Oh, before I forget,
hand me my pocket book.
81
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,142
I think you'll like it.
82
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,928
Nobody has taken it out in ages,
83
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,104
so, eh, just keep it.
84
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,501
Thanks.
85
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,459
Oh, Jesus.
86
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,679
Oh...
87
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:07,682
Hey. You okay?
88
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,336
It's just this damn sciatica.
89
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,339
My do-gooder sister-in-law's
90
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,602
taken to picking up
my groceries for me.
91
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,299
I-I-It's just hard.
92
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,692
Friggin' doctor visits
93
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,215
are too expensive
without insurance,
94
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,564
and the pain is just...
95
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:24,133
You know, some
days, it's just bad.
96
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,135
Judi.
97
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:29,007
I'm fine.
98
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,806
I'm gonna be needing
some generics.
99
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:03,215
What the hell are
you doing here?
100
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:04,410
I... You've never
been in here before.
101
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:07,568
I know. But I want a wash.
102
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,876
Like Barb gets.
103
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,400
No, you don't. Yes, I do.
104
00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:15,532
I need them. I need it.
105
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:16,881
Why?
106
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:19,580
Back pain.
107
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:24,672
Bullshit. Okay, well, how
the hell would you know?
108
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,911
Because you're a terrible liar. Even
you don't believe what you're saying.
109
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,416
Oh, Jesus, why does
this have to be so hard?
110
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,158
I don't have anything for you.
111
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,378
Of course you don't.
112
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:39,687
You'll have to wait till
I re-up Monday afternoon.
113
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,471
W... Monday?
114
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:44,256
Like, this Monday? Like,
three da... Like, 72 hours?
115
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,302
We all know you can do math.
116
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,218
Okay, that... Monday is great.
117
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,872
That is amazing.
118
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:54,441
I will be here for
the wash on Monday.
119
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,225
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
120
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,487
Okay.
121
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,228
But for now, get out of here.
122
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:02,013
Is it, like, dangerous
or something?
123
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,319
No.
124
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,670
I'm just done being around you.
125
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,240
Thank you.
126
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:17,638
Here for another free coffee?
127
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,727
Wait, you serve
free coffee here?
128
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,338
Uh, you keep leaving
before you actually pay.
129
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,732
Oh, my gosh. You're right.
130
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,256
I... Well, I promise
to pay for this one...
131
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,040
And the other two.
132
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:30,757
It's been sitting for a
while. Make a fresh pot.
133
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,566
No, no, I'm not picky.
134
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,744
Um...
135
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:40,269
I am sorry for the other night.
136
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,184
Just had a really bad day,
137
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:45,274
and you were saying some
stuff that I didn't, uh...
138
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,536
It's not a big deal.
139
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,452
Wha... No, I was rude.
140
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,846
When I'm around you, I feel...
141
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:55,023
I don't know... 15,
and I was a brat at 15.
142
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,504
So I am sorry.
143
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,727
It's cold. I told you
I'd make a new pot.
144
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,337
I c... it's not...
No, no.
145
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,775
No, it's okay. I deserve this.
146
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,779
Mmm.
147
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:14,085
Mm. Mm. So stoic.
148
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:21,745
I'm sorry, too.
149
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,748
I think I was kinda
harsh to cover the fact
150
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,795
that seeing you again
makes me feel a little
151
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:28,883
guilty.
152
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,102
Oh, yeah?
153
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,409
When I was working the
steps with my sponsor,
154
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,368
I listed out people
to make amends to,
155
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:38,545
and you were on there.
156
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:41,373
Maybe towards the
top.
157
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:44,159
If anyone deserved a call...
158
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,900
I just didn't do it.
159
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,380
What, did you lose my number?
160
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,339
Nope, just a coward.
161
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,695
You know, I'm getting my
chip in AA tomorrow night.
162
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,218
Eight years sober.
163
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:01,393
Eight years? Yeah.
164
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,004
Wow!
165
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,702
Feel like I don't even
know this version of you.
166
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,837
You look the same, though.
167
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:14,189
I like that you
think I'm the same.
168
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,627
You are.
169
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:22,458
They say to invite
people to these things.
170
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,462
Would you come?
171
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,378
Consider it me making my amends.
172
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,603
So, you got a special occasion
you wanna look nice for?
173
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:39,170
Sure, my husband's
taking me to Paris.
174
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,784
No, this is self-care.
175
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,873
Woman: Last time, we
did those swoopy layers.
176
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,744
Cathy in accountin'
says, "Nice haircut."
177
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,529
And I knew what she meant.
178
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,444
Woman
on a band. Can you imagine?
179
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,794
No.
180
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,186
Woman: Hey.
181
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,840
Hey, Cindy.
182
00:08:56,884 --> 00:09:00,061
Hoping you can squeeze
me in for a wash?
183
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,063
Okay, great.
184
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,456
One sec, hon.
185
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,676
Let's have a look at the book.
186
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:11,115
So, thing is, I'm cleaned
out at the moment.
187
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,901
Oh. We had a couple people
in rough shape this week,
188
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,400
needed a bit more, but
I'm re-upping Monday.
189
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:18,209
I sorta need 'em now.
190
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,342
Listen, Cindy, I know
your knee's blown,
191
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,649
but for a day or two,
toss back a few ibuprofen.
192
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,085
It'll be fine.
193
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,043
Patty. Ibuprofen?
Are you serious?!
194
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,527
I really need them.
195
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,921
Okay.
196
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,792
Let me see what I can do, okay?
197
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:37,664
Thank you.Yeah.
198
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,144
Thank you. Oh.
199
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,929
For last time.
200
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:44,845
Thanks f-for frontin' for me.
201
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,934
It won't happen again.
202
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,196
No big thing.
203
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,516
Hey, babe, you might want
to keep your coat on,
204
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,476
'cause it's about to
get "chili" in here.
205
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,870
Chili, the food.
206
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,717
Thank you for
clearing that up, Neil.
207
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,353
Can't you just buy
the chili this year?
208
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,399
Sweet Allison.
209
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:19,706
The Renzulli Brothers
don't plow our street
210
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,621
in exchange for
store-bought chili.
211
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,989
No, they do it
'cause we pay taxes.
212
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:26,190
The Renzulli Brothers
plow our street
213
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,628
early and often because
we bribe them in,
214
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,326
and I quote, "Yummy-nummy
chili in their tummies."
215
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:34,285
That's right, and this year,
216
00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:35,722
we're making an
extra-special batch
217
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,549
with deep-fried turkey meat...
218
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,726
Prepared, of course,
using my brand-new
219
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:43,381
55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless
Steel Turkey Deep Fryer.
220
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:44,687
Ooh!
221
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,646
She is a sexy
little contraption.
222
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,691
I call her the "Dirty Birdie."
223
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,214
Is that the, uh...
224
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,999
The thing that's set
up in our driveway?
225
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:53,783
Bingo! Best to do it outdoors.
226
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:56,003
Frying a turkey can
be very dangerous.
227
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,744
Yeah, sometimes they explode,
228
00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,311
and no one knows why.
229
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:01,704
Sounds violent.
230
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:05,621
Don't worry, Mom,
I'll be careful.
231
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,623
Oh.
232
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,321
Neil's cooking the
exploding turkey.
233
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,106
Yeah. Why?
234
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,411
I guess I was just confused
235
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:14,761
'cause you usually
cook the meat,
236
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,153
so I thought it was your chili.
237
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,286
It is, since I'm the
magician behind it.
238
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,985
Uh, well, you know, we
both work on it, so...
239
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,596
Yeah, but I'm the main magician.
240
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,947
You're the random
audience member
241
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,166
we can all agree I've
never met before.
242
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,996
Um, you're wrong.
243
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,303
What?
244
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,000
I said "no offense."
245
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,393
No, you didn't.
246
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,786
I'm wrong?
247
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,310
Uh, if I'm so wrong,
248
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,355
how come my plans, ideas,
and goof-arounds work out
249
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:46,053
99% of the time?
250
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,795
Uh, 'cause you got me jukin'
stats and crackin' skulls.
251
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,231
You need me.
252
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,363
Pssh, I don't need anybody.
253
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,974
Fine, then I'll take my
254
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,647
55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless
Steel Turkey Deep Fryer
255
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,064
and make my own chili,
256
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:59,936
and it's gonna blow
yours into the water.
257
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:04,854
A chili cook-off?
258
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,702
Good luck making anything
the Renzulli Bros respect
259
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,988
without my help.
260
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:11,208
Pfff. I don't need your help!
261
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,298
'Cause I've got Allison! Oh!
262
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,387
She's gonna help
me cook the chili,
263
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,259
and she is way better than you.
264
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,523
I can't believe
you'd stoop that low.
265
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,830
Oh, we're playing
limbo now, baby.
266
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,049
You don't even know
how low I can go!
267
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,572
Welcome to the Dream Team, baby.
268
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,969
Yeah, you get out of
here with that turkey.
269
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,275
Leave my carrot!
270
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,918
Allison: Neil's
not in there. Geez.
271
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,723
Starting to think I
should tie a little bell
272
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:12,835
to all your cardigans.
273
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,924
This is a new look for you.
274
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,361
No, it's actually an old look.
275
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:21,061
I used to have a burger every
day after swim practice.
276
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,453
I had to earn it.
277
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:23,890
You go swimming today?
278
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,240
Nope, but I earned it.
279
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,459
And
280
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,548
the second one was only 50¢,
281
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,768
and I can't pass
up a deal, so...
282
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,162
You want it?
283
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,173
Mm.
284
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,784
Of course you're the kind
of girl who's always cold.
285
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,787
Why are you eating outside?
286
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,183
Um, I'm just stalling.
287
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:59,012
Kevin's inside. He and
Neil got into a fight.
288
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,970
They don't do that.
They do now, I guess.
289
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,972
It was nice for the
first 30 seconds
290
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,210
until Kevin started
looking to me
291
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:05,932
to fill the Neil-sized hole.
292
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,324
As soon as I go in there,
293
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,499
he's gonna put me to work.
294
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,023
So, don't do it.
295
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,026
Like that's an option.
296
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,985
He's just gonna
whine until I, like,
297
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,770
drive 90 miles to
get pork belly,
298
00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,729
or something stupid like that.
299
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:23,558
This fight between 'em's
gonna be the end of me.
300
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,429
Allison, I'm always impressed
301
00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:27,388
with how you can make
nothing to do with you
302
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,172
all about you.
303
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,782
Okay.
304
00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:32,219
Well, if I'm so obnoxious,
305
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:33,742
why don't you go in there
306
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,962
and deal with Kevin's
chili hysteria?
307
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,964
Or go home and deal with Neil's.
308
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,922
Go on, Patty. Go
be one of the boys.
309
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,798
I knew it.
310
00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:48,670
You hate them as much as I do.
311
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:52,326
I don't hate them. Yes, you do.
312
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,241
I knew it.
313
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:56,199
I knew there was
something else going on.
314
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,803
I just didn't know
it was selling drugs.
315
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,682
Can you just be cool?
316
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,424
I'm right.
317
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,817
That's way better.
318
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,952
Kurt: I'm so glad you're
eating healthy with me.
319
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,347
I can't do anything alone.
320
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,108
Glad my company is
good for something.
321
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:19,135
You're good for more than that.
322
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,661
Got "Ray Donovan"
all ready to go.
323
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,402
I'm hooked. Ugh.
324
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,578
His accent's for shit, though.
325
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,971
Yeah.
326
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,582
It's true.
327
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:36,413
Mmm.
328
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:42,289
Guess how much
this salad cost us?
329
00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:43,768
60¢.
330
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,815
Well, no.
331
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:51,080
I mean, $2.49, though?
332
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,300
Plus the dressing,
which we already had,
333
00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:56,607
but at a salad bar, we'd
be paying 7 bucks each...
334
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,435
Plus tip and tax.
335
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,414
Maybe by summer,
we'll save up enough
336
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,831
for our own place on the Cape...
337
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,833
Show off our skinny
arms on the beach.
338
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:07,444
Yeah, maybe.
339
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,074
Hey, maybe tonight, we could...
340
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:31,120
Do you mind if we don't tonight?
341
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,949
Oh, yeah. Of course.
342
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,343
I'm just really tired.
343
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:39,041
Yeah, you don't have to explain.
344
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:42,479
It's... I'm always happy
just sitting here with you.
345
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,440
Yeah. Me, too.
346
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,364
Hey, babe.
347
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,322
It's Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
348
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:02,456
Ugh, it's the day of rest.
349
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,720
Only for lazy people like
Neil who lose chili cook-offs
350
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,896
'cause they rest
on their Lauras.
351
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,593
Rest on their what?
352
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,354
Like, when you're sleeping
with some chick named Laura
353
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,703
and you don't want to
get out of the bed,
354
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,076
you're lazy.
355
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:18,037
I learn so much
being married to you.
356
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,342
I love you, too, babe.
357
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,996
I have to go run an errand,
358
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,346
but it's for a huge surprise
I have planned for ya.
359
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:25,783
Planned for me? Of course.
360
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,718
Well, last time you said you
had something planned for me,
361
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,613
you and Neil went to
Rock 'N' Roll Camp.
362
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,008
Who doesn't like
a weekend alone?
363
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:37,969
Now, I expect you back here this
afternoon for your surprise.
364
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:41,364
Kevin and Allison,
together forevah!
365
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:13,004
And I never called
before, Terrance.
366
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:15,006
Isn't it good that I'm out?
367
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:19,228
I mean, I'm... I'm
selling, right?
368
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:22,492
And this is important, so...
369
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,581
Hell...
370
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,192
Geez.
371
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,719
Oh, hell.
372
00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:37,377
Yes?
373
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:40,031
Um, I was hoping
you did walk-ins?
374
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,468
Look, I said Monday, okay?
375
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,880
Why is everybody up
my ass this week?
376
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,253
I mean it.
377
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,603
I was hoping you
could give me, like,
378
00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:48,127
a beachy wave or somethin'.
379
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,912
You say "hoping" a lot.
380
00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:54,350
Well, it's nicer
than saying "I want."
381
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,485
Just a curl, not a whole wash.
382
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,792
I'll take it.
383
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,620
Whee!
384
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:06,232
You got a special occasion
you wanna look nice for?
385
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:07,972
Uh, I was hop...
386
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:10,236
I want to look nice,
387
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,456
but, uh, I'm not sure
it's a special occasion.
388
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,024
I... Well, promise
you won't tell Kevin?
389
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,504
We're in that
390
00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,264
mutually-assured-destruction
territory now, yeah?
391
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,855
Right.
392
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:24,250
Well, uh, I am seeing an ex.
393
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,252
Well, not really an ex.
394
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:28,515
He, um... We used to
bus tables together
395
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,517
at this really terrible
Mexican restaurant...
396
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,866
Aunt Chiladas?
397
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,259
No, Sloppy José's.
398
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:35,043
Yeah.
399
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:38,220
I guess we never
actually, like, "dated."
400
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:41,267
He was always with
this girl from Amherst.
401
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,138
Jenn, with two "N's."
402
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,966
Mm, I hate her.
403
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:48,535
Um, I would lock up and he
would turn the sign off,
404
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,841
and then we would go
in back in the kitchen
405
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,713
and fool around.
406
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,106
And I didn't know
Jenn that well,
407
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:57,935
so it didn't seem
quite as terrible.
408
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:01,069
It just felt like I
wanted to beat her.
409
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:03,289
And it was fun and dangerous.
410
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,900
Having sex in front
of the tortilla chips
411
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,641
is your idea of dangerous?
412
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:10,383
Well, it's the worst
thing I've ever done.
413
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,167
So, you're gonna go fool around.
414
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,560
No.
415
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,301
Kinda sounds like you want to.
416
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,694
He's married. You're married.
417
00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:19,261
E... Of co... Yes, of course.
418
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,871
We're both married, yes.
419
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,438
It's not gonna happen.
420
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,572
And this is what you're wearing?
421
00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:26,964
Hey.
422
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,576
I'm just saying.
423
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:31,882
You have that wrap
dress from the Gap.
424
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:35,321
Well, I'm going to go
home and change, okay?
425
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:38,149
So, what about you?
426
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,195
You have fun hanging
out with Kurt?
427
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,892
Huh?
428
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,591
Did you have fun?
429
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:47,333
Uh, yeah.
430
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,812
It was fine.
431
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:51,162
Okay, did you go out, or...?
432
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:55,558
No. Oh, okay.
433
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:57,908
Well, that's nice.
A man who can cook.
434
00:20:57,952 --> 00:21:00,259
Unless he's bad at
it. Is he bad at it?
435
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,173
I don't know. He... He's Kurt.
436
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,175
He opened a bag of
salad, put it on a plate,
437
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,612
and then watched me eat it.
438
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:10,181
Okay, well, I'd take that
over being chained to Kevin
439
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,923
while he makes the world's
most disgusting chili.
440
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:18,755
Kurt thinks we're
eating healthy together.
441
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:21,647
That cheeseburger
I had last night
442
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:23,020
was my third this week.
443
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,590
Shut up.
444
00:21:29,679 --> 00:21:32,639
Oh, you got all done up
for me, huh, sweetie?
445
00:21:32,682 --> 00:21:34,989
Really putting yourself
out there, aren't ya?
446
00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:37,513
Yeah, settling in to
your new profession.
447
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:39,385
Hey, let me know if
you want me to set up
448
00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:41,952
any more appointments
under the bridge.
449
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:50,483
Yes, hello.
450
00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:53,224
Um, I was just walking by
Clark Street Elementary,
451
00:21:53,268 --> 00:21:54,878
and I saw a man selling drugs.
452
00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,664
And I followed him to the
auto body on Buckingham Ave.
453
00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:59,970
He works there.
454
00:22:00,014 --> 00:22:01,426
Please help, because I
don't want this monster
455
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:04,323
getting children
hooked on drugs.
456
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,150
Okay, well, you're welcome.
457
00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:07,978
Thank you for your time.
458
00:22:08,022 --> 00:22:09,415
Okay, bye-bye.
459
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:19,076
Kev, you back yet?
460
00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:31,524
Jesus Christ, Kev, come on.
461
00:22:43,057 --> 00:22:44,450
Oh, hey!
462
00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:46,016
Perfect timing!
463
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,931
Guess what I got?
464
00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:50,020
A pig.
465
00:22:50,064 --> 00:22:51,457
Dinga-ding-ding!
466
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,372
This is our trump card, baby!
467
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:55,243
It's, um, staring at me.
468
00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:56,853
Can you...
469
00:22:56,897 --> 00:22:59,029
Oh, there you go.
Much better.
470
00:22:59,073 --> 00:23:00,335
Peek-a-boo! Oh!
471
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,728
Just kidding.
472
00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:03,294
Ah!
473
00:23:03,338 --> 00:23:04,731
I'm just kidding.
474
00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,560
Stupid Neil thinks
he's gonna win
475
00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:09,475
with bird meat when I
got a pig on my side!
476
00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,436
This is game over,
right here.
477
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,525
Certainly is for the pig.
478
00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:18,527
I'm gonna cook him
as God intended...
479
00:23:18,571 --> 00:23:21,051
All night long over
a roaring open flame
480
00:23:21,095 --> 00:23:22,444
10 feet from our house.
481
00:23:22,488 --> 00:23:24,446
It's gonna be a
great time, babe!
482
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:25,621
You're gonna love it.
483
00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:29,190
I'm gonna love it?
484
00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:31,322
Oh, yes. That's my surprise.
485
00:23:31,366 --> 00:23:33,803
You and me... Kevin
and Allison...
486
00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:36,458
The greatest duo that this
backyard has ever seen.
487
00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:38,286
We got eight hours
of togetherness
488
00:23:38,329 --> 00:23:40,288
over a roasting pig.
489
00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:42,551
You want me to be here?
490
00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:44,379
I can't do this on my own!
491
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,859
Not that I need anyone!
492
00:23:45,902 --> 00:23:47,774
Okay, well, all you have to do
493
00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:50,080
is just watch an open flame
and try not to fall asleep,
494
00:23:50,124 --> 00:23:51,734
so w-why do you need me here?
495
00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:54,433
It's so much more than
just not falling asleep.
496
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,652
Neil and I...
497
00:23:58,393 --> 00:24:00,787
That neighbor guy and I
498
00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,442
used to do this sort
of stuff all the time.
499
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,618
Come on, it's gonna
be the best time.
500
00:24:05,661 --> 00:24:08,185
We got an excuse to pound
beers all night long.
501
00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:09,796
And then, around 3:00 A.M.,
502
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:11,208
I'll do my line-for-line
reenactment
503
00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,929
of "Good Will Hunting."
504
00:24:12,973 --> 00:24:15,715
Oh, as great as that
sounds, I... Allison.
505
00:24:15,758 --> 00:24:17,107
It's not your fault.
506
00:24:17,151 --> 00:24:18,805
Yeah, I-I know.
507
00:24:18,848 --> 00:24:20,197
It's not your fault, Allison.
508
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,547
Yes. No, I understand.
509
00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:22,722
Allison. It's from the film.
510
00:24:22,765 --> 00:24:24,114
It's not your fault. Uh-huh.
511
00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:26,203
I mean, see? How great is that?!
512
00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,031
Where else are you gonna be?
513
00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:29,511
Well, I have a work...
514
00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:31,905
I have a work at
the package store.
515
00:24:33,254 --> 00:24:34,821
I'll be here.
516
00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:36,518
Waitin' for you.
517
00:24:38,259 --> 00:24:39,303
Oh! "So will I!"
518
00:24:42,219 --> 00:24:43,699
Oh!
519
00:24:45,266 --> 00:24:46,354
It was his fault!
520
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:55,929
Hey.
521
00:24:55,972 --> 00:24:57,583
Would you just
hold on one second?
522
00:24:57,626 --> 00:24:58,932
Yeah, sure.
523
00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,368
Hey.
524
00:25:00,411 --> 00:25:01,587
Hi. Oh, my God.
525
00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:04,372
Uh... S-Sorry. Hi.
526
00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:05,939
So glad you made it.
527
00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:07,375
Ugh. Uh, you look great.
528
00:25:07,418 --> 00:25:10,857
Oh, thank you.
529
00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,859
Uh, I-I don't really
know what to do.
530
00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:14,600
I've never been to
one of these before.
531
00:25:14,643 --> 00:25:16,602
Oh, yeah, don't worry.
It's not a big deal.
532
00:25:16,645 --> 00:25:18,734
Um, you've never
been to a meeting?
533
00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:20,170
No.
534
00:25:20,214 --> 00:25:21,868
Do you think I should have?
535
00:25:21,911 --> 00:25:24,261
No. No, please. That's
not what I meant.
536
00:25:24,305 --> 00:25:26,176
Um, you're the most
self-controlled person
537
00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:27,351
I ever met.
538
00:25:27,395 --> 00:25:29,571
Well, it's been a while.
539
00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:31,399
Maybe I've changed.
540
00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:33,532
Totally lost it.
541
00:25:34,837 --> 00:25:38,275
Eh, I'm not buying it.
542
00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:42,018
Okay.
543
00:25:42,062 --> 00:25:44,020
Kurt: Bon appétit.
544
00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:50,461
Man: The road to Big Trout
Lake is a narrow corridor
545
00:25:50,505 --> 00:25:53,029
filled with twists,
turns, and steep hills...
546
00:25:53,073 --> 00:25:55,466
Mmm... that make
ordinary runs challenging
547
00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:58,905
and mega-hauls like
Todd's an outright gamble.
548
00:25:58,948 --> 00:26:01,429
Hey, you need the
Honda this week?
549
00:26:01,472 --> 00:26:02,778
Maybe.
550
00:26:04,258 --> 00:26:06,739
I'll let you know.
551
00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:09,916
Oh.
552
00:26:09,959 --> 00:26:12,788
"Bon appétit" means
you can start eating.
553
00:26:14,529 --> 00:26:16,923
Uh...
554
00:26:16,966 --> 00:26:20,448
Can we please just
have some real food?
555
00:26:20,491 --> 00:26:23,494
W-Wha... Thi... But this is.
556
00:26:23,538 --> 00:26:26,236
This... This is... This is
protein and vegetables. No, Kurt.
557
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,458
I would like some
real-ass food, you know?
558
00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:32,242
With carbs and animal fat
559
00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:33,686
so I don't have to
keep speed-eating
560
00:26:33,722 --> 00:26:35,942
alone in my car on
the way over here.
561
00:26:35,985 --> 00:26:38,684
It's lonely and I'm
getting heartburn.
562
00:26:39,728 --> 00:26:41,382
Yeah, o-okay.
563
00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:43,079
I'll order something.
564
00:26:43,123 --> 00:26:44,951
Thank you!
565
00:26:44,994 --> 00:26:46,953
Yes, God! Thank you!
566
00:26:46,996 --> 00:26:49,477
Ugh.
567
00:26:51,522 --> 00:26:54,569
Ooh, maybe chimichangas!
568
00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:58,704
Once again, welcome
to the Sunday Trinity.
569
00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:03,622
Big Book Discussion Meeting
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
570
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:06,755
I've stated that
I'm an alcoholic.
571
00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:10,280
Are there any other
alcoholics present tonight?
572
00:27:10,324 --> 00:27:14,284
We also celebrate the
anniversaries at this meeting.
573
00:27:14,328 --> 00:27:18,549
An anniversary is defined
as 365 days free of alcohol
574
00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:21,770
or anything else that
affects you from the neck up.
575
00:27:21,814 --> 00:27:23,903
We have one anniversary tonight,
576
00:27:23,946 --> 00:27:26,688
and that is Sam,
celebrating eight years.
577
00:27:26,732 --> 00:27:27,994
Get up here, Sam.
578
00:27:39,179 --> 00:27:40,702
Hey, I'm Sam.
579
00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:42,182
Alcoholic.
580
00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:44,750
Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam.
Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam.
581
00:27:44,793 --> 00:27:46,752
Uh, I dragged myself
into the Program
582
00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:49,189
when I finally hit rock bottom.
583
00:27:49,232 --> 00:27:51,582
One night, I got so loaded
584
00:27:51,626 --> 00:27:55,804
that I stole a bundle of heroin
from some guy I met at a bar...
585
00:27:55,848 --> 00:27:58,198
Too drunk to even
remember his name.
586
00:27:58,241 --> 00:27:59,852
Jason, maybe?
587
00:27:59,895 --> 00:28:04,378
If he'd caught me, I bet
he would've killed me.
588
00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:07,598
I can still feel that fear and
that shame, and that's good.
589
00:28:07,642 --> 00:28:09,818
It keeps the cycle
from starting again.
590
00:28:09,862 --> 00:28:14,562
I've been done with destructive
patterns for eight years.
591
00:28:14,605 --> 00:28:17,217
I'm not going back.
592
00:28:28,576 --> 00:28:30,796
Oh.
593
00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:33,059
Um, thank you so
much for having me.
594
00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:34,843
Really? This... Yeah.
595
00:28:34,887 --> 00:28:37,759
Uh, I know these
things can be painful.
596
00:28:37,803 --> 00:28:40,066
Oddly, I'm, uh... I'm proud.
597
00:28:40,109 --> 00:28:41,415
I... Woman: Sam.
598
00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:43,330
Oh, hey! Hey.
599
00:28:43,373 --> 00:28:44,655
What are you doing here? Oh,
I wanted to surprise you.
600
00:28:44,679 --> 00:28:45,985
Did I miss it?
601
00:28:46,028 --> 00:28:48,074
Yeah, but that's okay.
There's plenty more.
602
00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:50,772
My dad was at the house
looking at tile samples,
603
00:28:50,816 --> 00:28:52,513
and I lost track of time.
604
00:28:52,556 --> 00:28:54,167
Sorry. Eh, that's okay.
605
00:28:54,210 --> 00:28:55,646
House looks great
though.
606
00:28:55,690 --> 00:28:58,519
Good. Uh, Jenn, this is Allison.
607
00:28:58,562 --> 00:28:59,825
Allison, my wife, Jenn.
608
00:28:59,868 --> 00:29:01,740
Hi.Hi. Oh. Hi.
609
00:29:01,783 --> 00:29:03,785
Uh, we've actually met before.
610
00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:06,048
I, uh, worked with
Sam in high school.
611
00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:07,397
Oh, how sweet of you to come.
612
00:29:07,441 --> 00:29:08,703
Of course.
613
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,879
It's a big deal.
614
00:29:12,663 --> 00:29:14,665
Sorry, you got, um...
You have something.
615
00:29:15,710 --> 00:29:17,233
Oh.
616
00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:21,629
Is that a bean?
617
00:29:21,672 --> 00:29:23,109
A pinto bean.
618
00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:25,111
It's, uh... It's from a chili.
619
00:29:25,154 --> 00:29:26,460
Oh.
620
00:29:32,683 --> 00:29:34,903
Um, anyway...
621
00:30:09,459 --> 00:30:11,461
Hello.
622
00:30:20,514 --> 00:30:22,864
I can't do it! What?
623
00:30:22,908 --> 00:30:24,910
I can't hurt him!
624
00:30:24,953 --> 00:30:28,087
You cooked him over a
fire all night long.
625
00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:30,263
That was different.
This is murder!
626
00:30:32,221 --> 00:30:35,921
We had a totally
life-changing night together.
627
00:30:35,964 --> 00:30:38,140
You and the already-dead pig?
628
00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:39,750
Don't say it like that.
629
00:30:39,794 --> 00:30:41,491
You don't know.
You weren't here.
630
00:30:42,536 --> 00:30:44,799
I slept here.
631
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,148
But you were late.
632
00:30:46,192 --> 00:30:47,933
You totally missed
the connection I had
633
00:30:47,976 --> 00:30:50,544
with this beautiful creature.
634
00:30:50,587 --> 00:30:53,547
We talked about real
big-picture stuff, you know?
635
00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:55,636
Life. Love.
636
00:30:55,679 --> 00:30:57,768
How dudes who say they
don't pee in the shower
637
00:30:57,812 --> 00:30:59,553
are definitely lying.
638
00:31:00,989 --> 00:31:02,686
Do you pee in the shower?
639
00:31:02,730 --> 00:31:04,210
No.
640
00:31:05,951 --> 00:31:07,561
Look, the point is,
641
00:31:07,604 --> 00:31:09,519
there's no way that I can
cut up my best friend!
642
00:31:09,563 --> 00:31:12,522
Ok... Do you think that this
might possibly be about Neil?
643
00:31:12,566 --> 00:31:14,263
Of course not.
644
00:31:14,307 --> 00:31:17,223
This is about my new
friend, Piggy Stardust.
645
00:31:19,051 --> 00:31:22,968
And worse... about how,
now I'm completely screwed
646
00:31:23,011 --> 00:31:24,795
because I got no
meat for the chili!
647
00:31:24,839 --> 00:31:27,233
Just give them vegetarian chili.
648
00:31:27,276 --> 00:31:30,540
Vegetarian chili is worse
than no chili at all.
649
00:31:30,584 --> 00:31:32,238
Nobody wants salad soup!
650
00:31:32,281 --> 00:31:34,240
Well, then, you'll just be
651
00:31:34,283 --> 00:31:36,043
the laughing stock of
the whole neighborhood.
652
00:31:36,068 --> 00:31:38,200
You're right.
653
00:31:38,244 --> 00:31:39,636
Oh.
654
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:41,116
I won't be able to
leave the house.
655
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,813
That's it.
656
00:31:42,857 --> 00:31:46,426
I'm gonna become a
Kermit. A "Kermit"?
657
00:31:46,469 --> 00:31:49,168
Yeah... someone who's alone
and inside all the time.
658
00:31:49,211 --> 00:31:51,561
Like Kermit always
hiding from Miss Piggy.
659
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:55,609
This is when you
feel humiliation?
660
00:31:55,652 --> 00:31:57,959
You definitely
pee in our shower.
661
00:31:58,003 --> 00:32:00,266
I'm never leaving
this house again,
662
00:32:00,309 --> 00:32:03,312
and you're gonna be here right
by my side the whole time.
663
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,272
In it till we kick it, baby!
664
00:32:06,315 --> 00:32:07,664
Lucky you.
665
00:32:07,708 --> 00:32:10,363
So lucky.
666
00:32:10,406 --> 00:32:12,843
Alright, I'm gonna go upstairs
667
00:32:12,887 --> 00:32:15,585
and stew this out over a bath.
668
00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:20,025
You're gonna have
to come up in 45
669
00:32:20,068 --> 00:32:22,201
with a beer and
a sandwich. Oh...
670
00:32:22,244 --> 00:32:24,420
Not that
I need anyone!
671
00:32:40,871 --> 00:32:44,049
It's a dangerous thing,
falsely accusing someone...
672
00:32:44,092 --> 00:32:46,312
Especially a guy high
up in the community.
673
00:32:46,355 --> 00:32:48,053
Good job, family.
674
00:32:48,096 --> 00:32:50,707
Might as well accuse
Father O'Donnell
675
00:32:50,751 --> 00:32:51,795
of peddling pills.
676
00:32:51,839 --> 00:32:53,884
So, please, keep in mind,
677
00:32:53,928 --> 00:32:55,408
if you're full of crap,
678
00:32:55,451 --> 00:32:57,801
no one would think twice
about sending you to Walpole.
679
00:32:57,845 --> 00:32:59,692
And I'll tell my friends over
there that you touch little kids.
680
00:33:02,806 --> 00:33:04,895
I swear on my mother's life,
681
00:33:04,939 --> 00:33:06,810
this is the guy you're
looking for, okay?
682
00:33:06,854 --> 00:33:08,073
Who am I? I'm nobody.
683
00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:09,726
Whoever ratted me out, like...
684
00:33:09,770 --> 00:33:11,902
Listen, pal, the amount of
stuff you got caught with,
685
00:33:11,946 --> 00:33:13,730
that's an intent to distribute.
686
00:33:13,774 --> 00:33:15,341
Forget intent to distribute.
687
00:33:15,384 --> 00:33:17,430
It's like Black Friday in there.
688
00:33:17,473 --> 00:33:20,955
Yeah, we'll see.
689
00:33:28,528 --> 00:33:30,158
Terrance: If you have any
questions, give me a call.
690
00:33:31,574 --> 00:33:33,794
Hey, buddy.
691
00:33:34,882 --> 00:33:36,362
How can I help you?
692
00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:38,364
Uh, it's Monday.
693
00:33:38,407 --> 00:33:40,540
I'm here for the generics.
694
00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:42,672
You're not supposed to call.
695
00:33:42,716 --> 00:33:44,674
I know. I know, I'm sorry.
696
00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:47,199
It was a huge mistake.
It won't happen again.
697
00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:52,552
Terrance.
698
00:33:52,595 --> 00:33:54,075
Please.
699
00:33:57,992 --> 00:33:59,254
Thank you, Terrance.
700
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:02,301
I love you, Terrance.
701
00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:07,436
Oh. Hey.
702
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,003
Hey.
703
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,831
Back for more Lipitor, huh?
704
00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:14,791
Maybe it's all those,
uh, carbs and animal fat.
705
00:34:16,532 --> 00:34:19,274
S... Listen, last night,
706
00:34:19,318 --> 00:34:21,972
I think I just got
confused, right?
707
00:34:22,016 --> 00:34:23,167
Because we had...
708
00:34:23,191 --> 00:34:24,975
Officer: Worcester PD!
709
00:34:25,019 --> 00:34:28,153
Everybody stay where you are.
710
00:34:28,196 --> 00:34:30,155
Sir, put your hands
behind your back.
711
00:34:30,198 --> 00:34:31,765
Don't move.
712
00:34:31,808 --> 00:34:33,419
You're
under arrest.
713
00:34:33,462 --> 00:34:35,377
You have the right
to remain silent.
714
00:34:35,421 --> 00:34:36,987
Anything you say can
and will be used...
715
00:34:43,037 --> 00:34:45,431
Well, they say
witnesses can't leave
716
00:34:45,474 --> 00:34:48,173
for another 45, at least, so...
717
00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:51,219
Great.
718
00:34:51,263 --> 00:34:52,742
Oh, here.
719
00:34:52,786 --> 00:34:55,310
I'm not cold.
720
00:34:55,354 --> 00:34:56,877
Okay.
721
00:35:02,491 --> 00:35:04,885
That was insane.
722
00:35:04,928 --> 00:35:07,148
It was terrifying.
723
00:35:08,454 --> 00:35:10,847
Yeah.
724
00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:14,242
It reminded me of this one
4th of July when I was a kid.
725
00:35:14,286 --> 00:35:16,636
I couldn't have
been more than 3,
726
00:35:16,679 --> 00:35:20,466
and my parents took me into
town to see the fireworks.
727
00:35:20,509 --> 00:35:22,642
Dad put me up on his shoulders.
728
00:35:22,685 --> 00:35:24,252
They started up...
729
00:35:24,296 --> 00:35:27,777
These huge explosions
right above us.
730
00:35:27,821 --> 00:35:30,215
I remember thinking, like,
731
00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:33,043
"The world is on fire."
732
00:35:33,087 --> 00:35:36,046
Sound
hit me in my chest.
733
00:35:36,090 --> 00:35:37,787
Smoke was in my eyes.
734
00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:40,225
Everybody just
laughing and smiling.
735
00:35:40,268 --> 00:35:43,793
Like, they didn't understand.
736
00:35:45,534 --> 00:35:47,362
This was the end.
737
00:35:48,668 --> 00:35:50,931
Kurt, what the
hell are you doing?
738
00:35:50,974 --> 00:35:52,628
Being that close to death
739
00:35:52,672 --> 00:35:55,501
makes you think... really...
740
00:35:55,544 --> 00:35:57,677
About what's important
741
00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,767
and what you can't live without.
742
00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:02,334
And, Patty...
743
00:36:03,683 --> 00:36:05,163
Oh.
744
00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:08,601
I can't live without you
a-and your chimichangas.
745
00:36:18,872 --> 00:36:20,830
Okay, it's Monday.
746
00:36:20,874 --> 00:36:22,832
Time...
747
00:36:22,876 --> 00:36:25,835
Whoa. You okay?
748
00:36:25,879 --> 00:36:27,272
Rough morning.
749
00:36:27,315 --> 00:36:29,839
Ye... Well, I guess
that, but, how?
750
00:36:29,883 --> 00:36:31,232
What happened? You okay?
751
00:36:32,625 --> 00:36:35,628
Okay, what's with all the
questions all the time?
752
00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:39,153
I... W... I don't ask you
stuff to piss you off.
753
00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,547
I just want to know the answers.
754
00:36:44,593 --> 00:36:45,899
Why?
755
00:36:46,943 --> 00:36:48,554
Because
756
00:36:48,597 --> 00:36:51,252
uh, I thought I knew
your whole thing.
757
00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:55,430
We practically spent
the last 10 years
758
00:36:55,474 --> 00:36:56,910
in the same room,
759
00:36:56,953 --> 00:36:58,322
but no one knows that
I'm buying drugs,
760
00:36:58,346 --> 00:36:59,869
and I'm guessing
that no one knows
761
00:36:59,913 --> 00:37:02,089
that you're selling them.
762
00:37:02,132 --> 00:37:05,310
Unless Kurt's some kind
of secret drug mule.
763
00:37:06,746 --> 00:37:08,574
No.
764
00:37:08,617 --> 00:37:11,881
He has no idea.
765
00:37:16,930 --> 00:37:19,324
If he did,
766
00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:25,330
he probably wouldn't
have, like, proposed.
767
00:37:25,373 --> 00:37:27,854
Wha... Ser...
768
00:37:31,901 --> 00:37:33,729
Seriously?
769
00:37:35,165 --> 00:37:36,732
Yeah.
770
00:37:36,776 --> 00:37:38,343
Ooh.
771
00:37:38,386 --> 00:37:41,824
Um, what does the
ring look like?
772
00:37:41,868 --> 00:37:43,304
There was no ring.
773
00:37:43,348 --> 00:37:45,915
It was in the parking
lot of the pharmacy.
774
00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:47,613
That...
775
00:37:47,656 --> 00:37:48,962
Hmm.
776
00:37:49,005 --> 00:37:50,703
Yeah, m-minutes
after we were caught
777
00:37:50,746 --> 00:37:52,922
in the middle of a drug raid.
778
00:37:52,966 --> 00:37:54,794
At the pharmacy?
779
00:37:54,837 --> 00:37:56,622
Was that your...
780
00:37:56,665 --> 00:38:00,190
Yep, my friend was hauled
off in a pair of handcuffs
781
00:38:00,234 --> 00:38:03,368
and my stash is in an
evidence bag somewhere.
782
00:38:03,411 --> 00:38:06,284
And that's when Kurt
decided to propose.
783
00:38:07,981 --> 00:38:11,593
Okay, uh, so, does that
mean that y-you're...
784
00:38:11,637 --> 00:38:14,161
I'm out. Dry. No pills.
785
00:38:14,204 --> 00:38:16,294
Nothing. God damn it.
786
00:38:16,337 --> 00:38:18,687
Well, hey, it's not my fault.
787
00:38:20,472 --> 00:38:21,971
Blame the corner-kid-asshole
at the auto body
788
00:38:21,995 --> 00:38:23,344
who got arrested
789
00:38:23,388 --> 00:38:26,042
and gave up the
area's only supplier.
790
00:38:27,435 --> 00:38:28,828
Maybe this is good.
791
00:38:28,871 --> 00:38:30,656
This whole s... Like,
selling this shit...
792
00:38:30,699 --> 00:38:31,744
It's too much trouble.
793
00:38:31,787 --> 00:38:33,311
Bu... No.
794
00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:34,636
I was close to
going off the rails.
795
00:38:34,660 --> 00:38:37,271
My hair's startin' to
break from the stress.
796
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,422
Hey, we can't give up on this.
797
00:38:38,446 --> 00:38:40,013
Okay?
798
00:38:40,056 --> 00:38:42,972
I-I can't deal with
going home right now,
799
00:38:43,016 --> 00:38:46,585
so, um, why don't we
grab a bite and...
800
00:38:46,628 --> 00:38:50,066
Real food... And
just talk about it?
801
00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:53,461
I have to
get home to Neil.
802
00:38:53,505 --> 00:38:55,420
When he deep-fried the turkey,
803
00:38:55,463 --> 00:38:58,379
it exploded and
burnt up his arms.
804
00:38:58,423 --> 00:39:00,425
This goddamn chili.
805
00:39:00,468 --> 00:39:02,557
He didn't even make the chili.
806
00:39:02,601 --> 00:39:04,429
Just a pile of deep-fried turkey
807
00:39:04,472 --> 00:39:06,431
sittin' on the kitchen counter.
808
00:39:06,474 --> 00:39:09,303
I can smell it from downstairs.
809
00:39:12,741 --> 00:39:16,528
I think I know how to make
both our lives easier.
810
00:39:18,878 --> 00:39:21,359
We just have to make them
think that it's their
811
00:39:21,402 --> 00:39:23,012
brilliant idea to
merge ingredients.
812
00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:26,625
My lame-ass batch of
vegetarian stew...
813
00:39:26,668 --> 00:39:29,323
And my gorgeous
pile of manly meat.
814
00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,238
Into the greatest
friendship chili
815
00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:32,718
this world has ever tasted.
816
00:39:32,761 --> 00:39:34,372
Well, I gotta give
this a little test.
817
00:39:34,415 --> 00:39:35,740
W... No, no, no, no.
Pete, I love you,
818
00:39:35,764 --> 00:39:37,481
but you smell like the
pellets at a petting zoo,
819
00:39:37,505 --> 00:39:39,812
and I need you to stay five
feet away from the chili.
820
00:39:41,335 --> 00:39:42,423
Well, how is that okay?
821
00:39:42,467 --> 00:39:44,120
Because it's my chili.
822
00:39:44,164 --> 00:39:46,471
I'm sorry.
823
00:39:46,514 --> 00:39:48,037
Ourchili.
824
00:39:48,081 --> 00:39:49,450
I'm so glad we were
both man enough to admit
825
00:39:49,474 --> 00:39:50,953
we need each other.
826
00:39:50,997 --> 00:39:54,043
In a totally normal way.
In a totally normal way.
827
00:39:54,087 --> 00:39:56,065
You ask me, you could both
do with some more time apart.
828
00:39:56,089 --> 00:39:57,482
No.No, no, no.
829
00:39:57,525 --> 00:40:00,354
No, he... Kevin needs a Neil.
830
00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:01,505
We've already begun planning
831
00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:03,183
to make up for the
lost goofin' time.
832
00:40:03,226 --> 00:40:05,490
Yeah, water balloon fight.
Then, "Ace Ventura" marathon
833
00:40:05,533 --> 00:40:07,970
followed by one of our epic
games of hide and seek.
834
00:40:08,014 --> 00:40:10,538
Allison, you might not see
me for the next 24 hours.
835
00:40:10,582 --> 00:40:12,540
Oh, no!
836
00:40:12,584 --> 00:40:15,282
But first, let's get this
chili to the Renzulli Brothers.
837
00:40:15,325 --> 00:40:16,675
To the Kev-mobile!
838
00:40:16,718 --> 00:40:18,503
Let's go.
839
00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:19,765
Come on. Left. Ow. Ow.
840
00:40:19,808 --> 00:40:21,070
Left. Ow.
841
00:40:21,114 --> 00:40:23,290
Left. Keep going. Ow!
842
00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:28,121
It's looking at me.
843
00:40:28,164 --> 00:40:30,558
Yeah, it does that.
844
00:40:32,386 --> 00:40:34,997
So, I guess they just
assume you'll clean it up.
845
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:37,173
Okay, what are we
gonna do about this?
846
00:40:38,566 --> 00:40:41,787
Chainsaw? N... I mean the pills.
847
00:40:41,830 --> 00:40:44,093
Listen, Allison, I already
told you at the salon.
848
00:40:44,137 --> 00:40:46,487
I'm out, okay? Patty,
you don't understand.
849
00:40:46,531 --> 00:40:48,315
I need this, and you're m...
850
00:40:48,358 --> 00:40:49,795
The only one that can help.
851
00:40:49,838 --> 00:40:51,361
Okay, you know what?
852
00:40:51,405 --> 00:40:53,407
We're sharing so much
now? You like answers?
853
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:55,104
So do I.
854
00:40:55,148 --> 00:40:57,367
Why do you actually need these?
855
00:40:57,411 --> 00:40:59,021
What the hell's been
going on with you?
856
00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:02,111
I just...
857
00:41:02,155 --> 00:41:05,767
I'm in a really bad place.
858
00:41:05,811 --> 00:41:08,814
The night that you told me
that Kevin drained the account,
859
00:41:08,857 --> 00:41:11,120
I lost it.
860
00:41:11,164 --> 00:41:13,819
I went on a bender.
861
00:41:13,862 --> 00:41:16,125
That powder that you
wiped off my face,
862
00:41:16,169 --> 00:41:18,127
that was coke.
863
00:41:18,171 --> 00:41:19,564
"Cain."
864
00:41:19,607 --> 00:41:21,740
Ye... I know what you meant.
865
00:41:21,783 --> 00:41:24,003
Somethin' in me just snapped,
866
00:41:24,046 --> 00:41:27,572
and I made this decision.
867
00:41:27,615 --> 00:41:30,226
I don't know if I
should tell you.
868
00:41:35,449 --> 00:41:40,149
Um, I got blackout drunk,
869
00:41:40,193 --> 00:41:41,847
and apparently,
870
00:41:41,890 --> 00:41:44,414
I stole a bunch of oxys
from this guy at a bar.
871
00:41:44,458 --> 00:41:46,591
I was so drunk, I don't
even remember his name.
872
00:41:46,634 --> 00:41:49,419
It was, um, Jason, maybe.
873
00:41:49,463 --> 00:41:51,596
And they must be hard to get,
874
00:41:51,639 --> 00:41:52,877
because he won't
take money for them,
875
00:41:52,901 --> 00:41:57,602
and he said that I g...
I'd better get more.
876
00:41:57,645 --> 00:42:01,388
Patty, I screwed
up, and I'm scared.
877
00:42:01,431 --> 00:42:03,259
Please.
878
00:42:06,436 --> 00:42:09,178
Okay. I...
879
00:42:09,222 --> 00:42:11,441
I got no guarantee.
880
00:42:11,485 --> 00:42:15,271
But I may have a
connection in Vermont.
881
00:42:15,315 --> 00:42:16,901
I'll make a few phone
calls. Oh, thank you.
882
00:42:16,925 --> 00:42:18,318
Well, don't thank me yet.
883
00:42:18,361 --> 00:42:20,886
I mean, if this works,
I'll go up there soon.
884
00:42:20,929 --> 00:42:22,627
But even if I get anything,
885
00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:24,367
I'm using this
pipeline once, okay?
886
00:42:24,411 --> 00:42:26,065
Of course, of course.
887
00:42:26,108 --> 00:42:27,457
I'll get your stuff
888
00:42:27,501 --> 00:42:28,652
and enough to wean
my clients off,
889
00:42:28,676 --> 00:42:30,199
and then, I'm done.
890
00:42:30,243 --> 00:42:31,723
Yes, sure.
891
00:42:31,766 --> 00:42:34,290
And I think you
should come with me.
892
00:42:36,641 --> 00:42:38,207
Really?
893
00:42:39,861 --> 00:42:41,210
I need a car.
894
00:42:41,254 --> 00:42:42,777
You can borrow Kevin's.
895
00:42:44,083 --> 00:42:45,824
Oh. Okay.
896
00:42:45,867 --> 00:42:47,652
Yeah, okay.
897
00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:50,045
We'll... We'll go together.
898
00:42:54,528 --> 00:42:56,661
God, it smells like
death out here.
899
00:43:05,017 --> 00:43:07,628
On the next "Kevin Can
Himself"...
900
00:43:07,672 --> 00:43:09,499
I can't live like this anymore.
901
00:43:09,543 --> 00:43:11,893
I can't.Kevin:
Allison's cute and all,
902
00:43:11,937 --> 00:43:14,287
but sometimes I think
she thinks I'm an idiot.
903
00:43:14,330 --> 00:43:16,289
The world revolves around him.
904
00:43:16,332 --> 00:43:17,943
I really need those pills.
905
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:21,381
Patty O'Connor?
Detective Tammy Ridgeway.
906
00:43:21,424 --> 00:43:23,688
Worcester PD.We're
not bonding, okay?
907
00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:25,298
They're looking to trade.
908
00:43:25,341 --> 00:43:26,647
Oh.
909
00:43:26,691 --> 00:43:27,735
Allison?
910
00:43:27,779 --> 00:43:29,519
It's going to be fine.
62299
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