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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,167 --> 00:00:08,197 - [sucking] 2 00:00:09,767 --> 00:00:12,227 [surf music] 3 00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:13,233 - WHO... - IS... 4 00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:14,233 - THAT... 5 00:00:14,233 --> 00:00:15,403 - PERSON? 6 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,170 WHAT? I LIKE BEING PART OF SENTENCES, TOO. 7 00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:19,897 - OH, MY GOD, IT'S HIM! IT'S MONDO. 8 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:23,970 - * WELL, I'M THE KING OF THE OCEAN * 9 00:00:23,967 --> 00:00:25,297 * THEY CALL ME MONDO MAN * 10 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:26,470 - OH! 11 00:00:26,467 --> 00:00:27,627 - AHH! 12 00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:30,673 - * YES, I'M THE KING OF THE OCEAN * 13 00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:32,167 * THEY CALL ME MONDO MAN * 14 00:00:32,167 --> 00:00:34,467 - [sucking] 15 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:36,867 - * LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED * 16 00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:38,697 * 'CAUSE I'M COMIN' TO YOUR SANDS * 17 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:41,870 - [coughing] OH, YEAH. 18 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,397 * * 19 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,600 - * I INTOXICATE THE LADIES * 20 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,900 * THEY'RE ADDICTED TO MY CRACK * 21 00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:49,270 [neon buzzing] 22 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:52,167 * I'VE GOT A BUDDY WHO'S A SHARK * 23 00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:54,097 * HE'S ALWAYS GOT MY BACK * 24 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,200 RIGHT, TERRY? 25 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,800 [guitar solo] 26 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,300 * I'M THE KING OF THE OCEAN * 27 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,900 * THEY CALL ME MONDO MAN * 28 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,070 * GET THOSE FUNBAGS READY * 29 00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:08,067 * 'CAUSE I'M COMING WITH BOTH HANDS * 30 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,597 MOTORBOAT! [gurgling] 31 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,370 all: * HE'S THE KING OF THE OCEAN * 32 00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:15,897 * THEY CALL HIM MONDO MAN * 33 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,330 - * HE'S GOT A RED-HOT MAMA * 34 00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:20,833 - * BUT WHO THE HELL'S HIS DAD? * 35 00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:22,903 - WHAT DID YOU SAY? 36 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,230 - WHO IS THE DAD? 37 00:01:24,233 --> 00:01:26,233 - I--I'M NOT SURE. 38 00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:27,503 - WHO IS THE DAD? 39 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,070 - I DON'T KNOW! 40 00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,267 [laughter] 41 00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,667 - HINT, IT'S THE ONE WITH THE PENIS, DUMBASS. 42 00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:33,967 - [laughs] 43 00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:35,297 - YOU KNOW, I ALMOST DIDN'T EVEN ASK THAT QUESTION 44 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,770 BECAUSE IT WAS TOO STUPID. 45 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:40,267 [rock music] 46 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,967 * * 47 00:01:46,233 --> 00:01:48,703 - MONDO, CHECK IT OUT. 48 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:51,370 - UM, YEAH, YEAH, SKIN CANCER'S NO JOKE. 49 00:01:51,367 --> 00:01:53,667 - DUDE, WHAT IS WITH YOU TODAY? 50 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:56,327 OH, DAD STUFF AGAIN, HUH? 51 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,273 - I MEAN, MOST OF THE TIME, I'M COOL NOT HAVING A DAD, 52 00:01:58,267 --> 00:02:01,367 BUT SOMETIMES I JUST WISH I KNEW WHO HE WAS. 53 00:02:01,367 --> 00:02:03,227 - SO WEIRD THAT YOUR MOM WON'T TELL YOU. 54 00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:05,073 - WHENEVER I TRY TO TALK TO HER ABOUT IT, 55 00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:07,967 SHE THINKS SHE CAN JUST DISTRACT ME WITH ICE CREAM, 56 00:02:07,967 --> 00:02:10,627 AS IF A DEEPLY EMOTIONAL HOLE IN MY SOUL COULD BE FILLED 57 00:02:10,633 --> 00:02:13,573 WITH THE TEMPORARY SATISFACTION OF A FROZEN TREAT. 58 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,527 - WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN? 59 00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:17,203 - YOU WERE SAD ABOUT YOUR DAD. 60 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,630 - REALLY? 61 00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:22,403 BECAUSE I FEEL SO HAPPY AND SATISFIED WITH THIS ICE CREAM. 62 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,630 [sighs] I GUESS I'LL NEVER KNOW WHO HE IS. 63 00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,433 - WELL, HEY, THERE, STUDENT PEOPLE. 64 00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:28,673 - PRINCIPAL GURNIEL? 65 00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:30,127 YOU PLAY MUSIC ON THE STREET? 66 00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:32,533 - CAN'T AFFORD THE HOUSEBOAT-SWINGER LIFESTYLE 67 00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:34,073 ON A PUBLIC-SCHOOL SALARY. 68 00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:36,397 ANYHOO, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO SEND BACK 69 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,870 YOUR DOWN-IN-THE-DUMPLINGS FOR A BETTER HAPPY-TIZER. 70 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,067 HERE'S A LITTLE DITTY TO PICK YOU UP. 71 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:45,567 * A FATHERLESS SON WANDERS THE WORLD ALONE * 72 00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:49,427 * NO "DAD PICS" FOLDER ON HIS iPHONE * 73 00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:53,303 * NO ONE TO TEACH HIM HOW TO GROW UP * 74 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:58,130 * TO SPANK IT OR CRANK IT OR PEE STANDING UP * 75 00:02:58,133 --> 00:03:00,533 - IT'S TRUE. I SPRAY ALL OVER THE PLACE, 76 00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:02,603 LIKE A HOSE WITH THE THUMB ON THE NOZZLE. 77 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,170 * * 78 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,627 * JUST THINK OF THE DAD THINGS THAT I'LL NEVER KNOW * 79 00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:08,703 [thump] [bell rings] 80 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:12,530 - * BUILDING YOUR MUSCLES JUST LIKE THE PROS * 81 00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:16,503 - * HELPING TO MAKE YOUR GARDEN GROW * 82 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:20,770 - * OR SELLING SPERMS JUST FOR THE DOUGH * 83 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,597 - * BUT HAVING A DAD CAN BE A REAL SUCK-FEST * 84 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:29,130 * WORK COMES FIRST AND THEN ALL THE REST * 85 00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:33,103 * COMING HOME DRUNK WITH ALL HIS SLUTTY GUESTS * 86 00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:37,600 - * BUT THEN THEY BUY YOU BRAND-NEW BREASTS * 87 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,570 - * NO ONE TO TEACH ME HOW TO GROW UP * 88 00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:46,467 * TO SPANK IT OR CRANK IT OR PEE STANDING UP * 89 00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:49,467 - HEY! GET THE [bleep] AWAY FROM MY KID, YOU PERV! 90 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:53,827 - GETTING OLD SUCKS, VONEETA. I MEAN, SURE I'M A MILF. 91 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,773 BUT HOW LONG BEFORE I'M A GILF OR A G-GILF, 92 00:03:56,767 --> 00:03:59,727 OR WORSE, MY "ILF" DAYS ARE GONE FOREVER? 93 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,503 - OH, PLUG YOUR THREE HOLES, SEX-FACE. 94 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,670 I KNOW YOU'RE P.M.S.-ING ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK, 95 00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:05,727 BUT IF YOU'RE FEELIN' OLD AND DOWN, DO WHAT I DO. 96 00:04:05,733 --> 00:04:08,603 STRAP ON THE INTERNETS AND GIVE FACEBOOK A POKE-SEE. 97 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,830 - I DON'T KNOW. 98 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,073 I MEAN, I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. 99 00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:14,127 - JUST POP IN A PASSWORD. 100 00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:15,973 AND NOW ALL WE NEED IS A PHOTO. 101 00:04:15,967 --> 00:04:18,327 - HMM. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A RECENT ONE. 102 00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,133 - OH, I HAVE A BUNCH OF YOU SLEEPING. 103 00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:22,203 OH, DID I SAY "SLEEPING"? I MEANT BLINKING... 104 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,170 LATE AT NIGHT... IN BED. 105 00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,727 YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY WHEN YOU BLINK. 106 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,430 - UGH, HIM? AND HIM? 107 00:04:29,433 --> 00:04:32,773 EVERY HORNY CREEP I EVER DATED IS IN HERE. 108 00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:33,867 - HEY, MA... 109 00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:36,297 I WAS HOPING I COULD ASK YOU SOMETHING, 110 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,700 UH, ABOUT MY DAD. 111 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:39,800 - HONEY, IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME. 112 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,800 HERE. - BUT I REALLY NEED TO-- 113 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,900 OH! DULCE DE LECHE! 114 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,870 [grumbling] 115 00:04:45,867 --> 00:04:47,797 - DUDE, I GOT IT! - GOT WHAT? 116 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,130 - YOU HEARD BABS. 117 00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:51,403 EVERY GUY SHE EVER DATED IS ON HER FACEBOOK. 118 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,400 ONE OF THOSE HORNY CREEPS COULD BE YOUR DAD! 119 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,567 - BALLS! WITHOUT MY MOM'S PASSWORD, 120 00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:04,227 I CAN'T SEE ANY OF THESE GUYS' PROFILES. 121 00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,503 OH, MY DAD'S SO CLOSE, I CAN SMELL HIM. 122 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,070 [sniffs] BABY POWDER AND CHINESE FOOD? 123 00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:10,397 - EGGROLL? [both scream] 124 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,170 - WADSKA! WHAT THE [bleep] ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET? 125 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,727 - WE HAD A SECRET SLEEPOVER LAST NIGHT. 126 00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,203 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 127 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,500 - WELL, IT WOULDN'T BE A SECRET IF YOU DID! 128 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:20,900 NOW, DO YOU WANT MY HELP 129 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,970 IN HACKING YOUR MOTHER'S ACCOUNT, OR NOT? 130 00:05:22,967 --> 00:05:24,127 - I GUESS. - [cracks knuckles] 131 00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:27,433 [giggles] OKAY, BARBARA "BABS" BRANDO, 132 00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:29,333 IT'S TIME TO GET INSIDE YOU. 133 00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:32,673 YOU'RE A WOMAN, A LADY, A MOTHER WITH BREASTS! 134 00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:33,967 AND WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT TO A MOTHER? 135 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,297 YOUR CHILD, YOUR SON, YOUR LITTLE ITTY-BITTY BABY, 136 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,130 YOUR MONDO, YOUR LITTLE MUNCHKIN! 137 00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,373 HMM, I'M CLOSE, AREN'T I, BABS? 138 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:42,967 YOU'RE A WOMAN OF CERTAIN TASTES, CERTAIN WANTS, 139 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:47,197 CERTAIN DESIRES! YOU CLEVER, CLEVER GIRL. 140 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,630 BOOM! WE'RE IN! 141 00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:51,333 - WHAT WAS THE PASSWORD? - EH, MUNCHKINMAMA[bleep]. 142 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:52,333 - NICE. 143 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,873 - 3,000 FRIENDS? AHH! 144 00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,427 THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER 145 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,933 IF WE ONLY KNEW YOUR MOM'S MENSTRUAL CYCLE. 146 00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:00,703 - WHAT? - 15th OF EVERY MONTH, 147 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,430 LIKE CLOCKWORK. 148 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:05,073 HER BREASTS SWELL UP, AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT NOTICES? 149 00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:08,327 - ALL RIGHT, FACTORING IN A GESTATION PERIOD OF 280 DAYS 150 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:12,473 TELLS US MONDO WAS CONCEIVED ON OR AROUND 12:05AM, 151 00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:16,397 JULY FOURTH, 1995, PLUS OR MINUS SIX DAYS. 152 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,100 - THAT'S THE SUMMER SHE WORKED AT DISNEY! 153 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,630 - LAND? - WORLD. 154 00:06:19,633 --> 00:06:20,703 - [whistles] - WHISTLE! 155 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,070 - I KNOW, RIGHT? SHE RAN THE GELATO STAND 156 00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:24,627 IN THE INTERNATIONAL FOOD COURT. 157 00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:25,903 - AHH! EXCELLENT. 158 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:28,900 FILTERING OUR RESULTS BY GENDER, FORMER EMPLOYERS 159 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:32,800 AND OVERLY FRIENDLY MESSAGES, DRUM ROLL PLEASE... 160 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,730 ONE OF THESE FOUR MEN IS YOUR FATHER! 161 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:37,373 - UM, ONE OF THESE IS A CARTOON DUCK. 162 00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:40,867 - ONE OF THESE THREE MEN AND A CARTOON DUCK IS YOUR FATHER! 163 00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:44,197 - [chomps] 164 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:51,967 - * I WAS THE NEW GIRL * 165 00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:54,497 * I WAS THE COOL GIRL * 166 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:58,270 * NOW I'M NOTHING BUT AN OLD COUGAR * 167 00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:03,067 * I USED TO TURN HEADS, FALL OUT OF STRANGE BEDS * 168 00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:07,197 * NOW I'M STUCK WEARING MY MOM JEANS INSTEAD * 169 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,170 * ALL THE BOYS USED TO SAY SUCH SWEET THINGS * 170 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:12,597 * LIKE "GIVE US A KISS," AND "SHOW US YOUR [bleep]" * 171 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,070 * NOW ALL THEY CALL ME IS "LADY" AND "MA'AM" * 172 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,827 * OH, WHAT I'D GIVE TO HEAR JUST ONE-- * 173 00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:17,873 - [bleep] DAMN! 174 00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:20,167 * I'M NOT THE NEW GIRL * 175 00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:22,597 [bank alarm rings] * I'M NOT THE COOL GIRL * 176 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:28,600 * NOW I AM ONLY AN AGING COUGAR * 177 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,130 [fireworks explode] - YEAH. 178 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,200 - WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING. 179 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,700 WHAT IF WE THREW HER AN AWESOME PARTY? 180 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,800 - YOU YOUNG HOOCHIE-COOCHIE FLAPPER GIRLS, 181 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,330 THINKING ALL LIFE'S PROBLEMS 182 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,273 CAN BE SOLVED WITH SOME SPIKED PUNCH 183 00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:46,067 AND AN ASSORTMENT OF PARAFFIN RAINBOW LIP COVERINGS. 184 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:49,467 - LISTEN, SOMEDAY SOMEBODY'S GONNA CALL ME A COUGAR, 185 00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:52,297 OR WHATEVER PEOPLE CALL HOT OLDER CHICKS IN THE FUTURE. 186 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,430 - SKANK. I'M PRETTY SURE IT'LL BE SKANK. 187 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,933 THINGS TEND TO RUN IN CYCLES. 188 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,473 - SURE, AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, ALL I KNOW 189 00:07:58,467 --> 00:08:01,497 IS THAT NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME FEEL MORE VITAL AND ALIVE 190 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,870 THAN PARTYING WITH MY FRIENDS 191 00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:05,327 UNTIL I'M PASSED OUT IN A POOL OF MY OWN VOM. 192 00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:07,933 - HELLS, YEAH! MY [bleep] IS PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW! 193 00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:09,303 [bleep] DAMN, I NEED A BEAT! 194 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:11,670 [record spins at fast speed] 195 00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:14,297 [hip-hop music] - * UH-HUH, BACK UP * 196 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,370 * HERE IT COMES * 197 00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:19,067 * NOW I ROLL UP ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR DEEP * 198 00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,697 * BUT AIN'T NO ONE AROUND, THAT'S JUST ME * 199 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:24,130 * THE "T" TO THE DOUBLE E-T-Z * 200 00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:25,503 * SITTING HIGH, SITTING FLY * 201 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,970 * LIKE PHARCYDE SAID, I KEEP ON... 202 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,667 - * PASSING YOU BY * * PASSING YOU BY * 203 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:30,467 - * BUT IT AIN'T ABOUT ME * 204 00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:32,867 * IT'S ABOUT "B" BIGGITY "B," BIGGITY "A," * 205 00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:34,067 * BIGGITY "B," BIGGITY "Z" * 206 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,367 * I'M TALKING BABS * - WHAT? 207 00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:36,727 - * TALKIN' BABS * - WHO? 208 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,933 * THE QUEEN, THE DIVA, MY REASON TO BE * 209 00:08:38,933 --> 00:08:41,973 * OUGHTA PUT THAT ASS ON MTV * 210 00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:44,667 - OKAY, OKAY, I HEAR YOU, MS. "T," BUT CHECK THIS, 211 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,967 WE GOT A PARTY TO PLAN, SO... 212 00:08:46,967 --> 00:08:49,327 * SHOP 'TIL WE DROP, WE GOTS TO COP * 213 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,773 * SWIPING PLASTIC, DROPPING CASH LIKE WE SLINGING ROCK * 214 00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:55,497 * BUYIN' UP THE BAR, OH, SNAP, THAT'S RIGHT * 215 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,470 * BAR'S ALREADY BOUGHT * - * BOUGHT, BOUGHT, BOUGHT * 216 00:08:57,467 --> 00:09:00,267 - NOT BAD, JEENA, BUT I THINK IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME. 217 00:09:00,267 --> 00:09:02,127 YO, TANG, HIT 'EM WITH THE HOOK! 218 00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:05,373 - HEY-Y. "T" TO THE "ANG." 219 00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:07,267 YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE. 220 00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:09,527 * HAU'OLI LA HANAU IS THE WAY WE SAY * 221 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:12,433 * GONNA GET REAL CRUNK ON BABS' BIRTHDAY * 222 00:09:12,433 --> 00:09:14,733 * HAU'OLI LA HANAU IS THE WAY WE SAY * 223 00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:17,873 * GONNA FREAK AND FUNK ALL ON YOUR FACE * 224 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:18,867 [record scratch] 225 00:09:18,867 --> 00:09:21,297 - SENDING A MASS eVITE RIGHT NOW. 226 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:24,070 WOW, MS. TEETS. WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO RAP LIKE THAT? 227 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,627 - OH, WELL, LET'S JUST SAY I BANGED A LOT OF BLACK GUYS 228 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,573 AND THEY WERE ALWAYS LISTENING TO RAP MUSIC 229 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,627 SO I GOT REALLY GOOD AT RAPPING, OR SOMETHING. 230 00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:33,673 - SO WHO ARE THE THREE MAYBE-DADDIES? 231 00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,727 - FIRST ONE IS NICOS PETROS. 232 00:09:35,733 --> 00:09:37,933 - HE'S A YACHTING ENTHUSIAST! 233 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,970 - WHAT ISLAND IS THAT-A, PAPI? 234 00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,067 - YEAH, THAT'S YOUR ISLAND, MY LITTLE PRINCE. 235 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,327 MONDONESIA, THE ISLAND OF FORBIDDEN BIKINI. 236 00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:47,973 all: [giggle] 237 00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:49,797 - [laughs] I COULD LIVE WITH THAT. 238 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:50,870 WHO'S NEXT? 239 00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,667 - JAG KNULLERBROD. 240 00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:55,427 - DUDE! HE'S AN EFFIN' SWEDISH ROCK STAR! 241 00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,173 [Scandinavian pop music] 242 00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:59,627 - VAT CITY ARE VE IN, FAHDER? 243 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:03,133 - YOUR CITY, SONNY. MONDOSTADT. [crowd cheers] 244 00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:05,173 NOW TAKE YOUR STAGE DIVE. 245 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:06,667 - YEAH! 246 00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:09,967 SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS GOTTA GET IN ON THESE FANTASIES. 247 00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:11,797 I'M KILLING IT IN HERE. 248 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,170 AND THE LAST ONE? 249 00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:17,427 - LORD CLIVE GOODSPEED, OF THE BUCKINGHAMSHIRE GOODSPEEDS. 250 00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,073 - OH, LOOK AT THE RESEMBLANCE! 251 00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:20,427 IT'S LIKE I'M STARING INTO A MIRROR. 252 00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:23,367 [classical music] 253 00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:25,367 YOUR TURN, DADDY! 254 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:29,367 BEST OF LUCK HITTING A GOOGLY ON THAT STICKY WICKET. 255 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,297 - PISH POSH. TEA? [rings bell] 256 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,170 all: [giggle] 257 00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:34,767 - YOU HIT THE JACKPOT, DUDE. 258 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,427 NOW WE JUST NEED A WAY TO NARROW THEM DOWN. 259 00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,233 - MMM... MAMMA MIA! 260 00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:43,230 HELLO, MAMMA MIA? THE CLASSIC SWEDE-POP MUSICAL 261 00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:45,433 AND MOTION PICTURE OF THE SAME NAME? 262 00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:47,873 BUT THE SINGING, THE DANCING, 263 00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:52,397 THE SEQUINED SPANDEX THAT LINE THE BODY. OH! 264 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,870 NOTHING? 265 00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:56,567 IT'S SIMPLE. WE SEND A FACEBOOK MESSAGE FROM "BABS BRANDO," 266 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:57,797 INVITING THE POTENTIAL PAPAS 267 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,400 TO YOUR MOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY THIS WEEKEND, 268 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,730 WE DO A LITTLE PRIVATE DICK WORK, 269 00:11:00,733 --> 00:11:02,573 AND FASTER THAN YOU CAN SING DANCING QUEEN, 270 00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:04,367 YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOUR DADDY IS! 271 00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:06,867 - THAT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY GREAT IDEA. 272 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,797 - AND TO PUT US IN THE MOOD, I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE 273 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,730 A DVD OF MAMMA MIA! 274 00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:16,303 LOOK MOMMY, I'M A LADY NOW! PRETTY, PRETTY LADY! 275 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,970 OOPS, WRONG ONE. 276 00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:22,067 - WE STILL GOT SOME TIME TO KILL BEFORE THE PARTY, 277 00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:25,627 SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS IN THE MOOD FOR--COKE, LSD? 278 00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:29,073 - HEROIN? - OH, WE ALWAYS DO HEROIN. 279 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,167 LET'S JUST PUT IT ON RANDOM. 280 00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:33,527 PERFECT! 281 00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:35,373 - AND UNO, DOS, TRES, QUATRO! 282 00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,597 [rock music] 283 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,330 - * JERSEY GIRL AND HER LITTLE BRAT * 284 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:44,633 * THEY HEADED WEST AND THAT WAS THAT * 285 00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:48,103 * HUNGRY HEART AND BORN TO RUN * 286 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:52,070 * LEFT THE SHORE TO HAVE SOME FUN * 287 00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:55,327 * WELL, WE GOT EACH OTHER AND THAT'S ALL WE NEED * 288 00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,673 * ALL DADDY DID WAS PLANT THE SEED * 289 00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,667 * HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY * 290 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:02,967 * LITTLE BASTARD * 291 00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:04,667 [saxophone solo] 292 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,097 - HEY! 293 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,700 - * HE'LL KEEP SEARCHIN' THOSE BACK STREETS * 294 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:12,670 * FOR THE ONLY MAN TO MAKE HIS FAMILY COMPLETE * 295 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:15,827 * DREAMS OF THE REUNION OF THE JERSEY DAD * 296 00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:20,503 * AND THE CALIFORNIA SON, BUT UNTIL THAT DAY COMES * 297 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,670 * WELL, WE GOT EACH OTHER AND THAT'S ALL WE NEED * 298 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,767 * ALL DADDY DID WAS PLANT THE SEED * 299 00:12:26,767 --> 00:12:29,567 - * HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY * 300 00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,667 - * LITTLE BASTARD * 301 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,067 - VERY HEARTFELT, VERY THEMATICAL. 302 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:37,397 - I KNOW, RIGHT? - ENCORE! ENCORE! 303 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,700 - IS THIS YOUR UNDERWEAR? 304 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:39,870 - MAYBE. 305 00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,327 - WE'VE GOTTA GET OVER TO THE PARTY! 306 00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:44,533 I'VE GOT SOME DADS TO MEET! 307 00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:47,973 - * NOW ALL THEY CALL ME IS "LADY" AND "MA'AM" * 308 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,627 * WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO HEAR JUST ONE-- * 309 00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:52,103 - [bleep] DAMN! 310 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,930 [club music] - * YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. * 311 00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:57,403 * * 312 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,770 - SO WHAT'S YOUR STRATEGY? 313 00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:00,397 HOW ARE YOU GONNA KNOW WHO YOUR DAD IS? 314 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,900 - I'LL JUST KNOW, WOODIE. I'LL FEEL IT IN MY HEART. 315 00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:06,230 - BUT THE HEART LIES. SEMEN DOESN'T. 316 00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,073 - * YEAH! * 317 00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:09,367 - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 318 00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:12,067 - OH, IT'S JUST MY DAVID CARUSO SUNGLASSES. 319 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,927 THEY CAME WITH MY "CSI JR. DNA TESTING KIT," 320 00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:18,233 WHICH I'M GONNA USE TO DETERMINE WHO YOUR FATHER IS! 321 00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:20,573 - * YEAH! * 322 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,697 [door opens] 323 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,230 [door closes] 324 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,833 - OKAY, THERE'S PAPA NICOS. LET'S GO. 325 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,173 both: [chomp] [burp] 326 00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:35,897 BALLS! 327 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,300 - DUDE, THAT'S EERIE. 328 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,500 - I KNOW! WE COULDN'T BE MORE DIFFERENT. 329 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,170 LIKE, MY POLAR OPPOSITE IN EVERY WAY-- 330 00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:43,727 OOH, I LOVE THIS TUNE! 331 00:13:43,733 --> 00:13:46,733 [folk music] 332 00:13:46,733 --> 00:13:49,633 * * 333 00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:51,733 - LOOKS LIKE THE CATCH OF THE DAY... 334 00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:54,803 IS YOU. - * YEAH! * 335 00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:58,567 - [sighs] 336 00:13:58,567 --> 00:13:59,727 [door closes] 337 00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:03,967 HEY! CHECK IT OUT! WE HAVE THE SAME PENIS! 338 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,867 WE'RE PENIS TWINS! 339 00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:08,397 [taser zapping] OH! 340 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,500 [zipper sound] 341 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:16,233 - IF IT'S YELLOW, WADSKA SAYS "HELLO." 342 00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:18,403 - * YEAH! * 343 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,100 - HEY, SMALL WONDER, WANT SOME PUNCH? 344 00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,100 - OKAY, YOU'RE EITHER GOING TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE, 345 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,600 OR DUNK MY HEAD IN THE PUNCH. 346 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,570 - ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE, 347 00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:29,167 BUT THOSE IDEAS ARE HARD TO RESIST. 348 00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:31,427 - UNFIST THAT LAD. - WHAT? 349 00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,703 - I SAID UNFIST! 350 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,630 HA! [thumping] 351 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,303 - GENTLEMAN NINJA! RUN! 352 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:38,800 all: [whimper and moan] 353 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,770 - YOU ALL RIGHT THERE, SON? - SON? 354 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,327 - QUITE A HOOLIGAN, THAT ONE. 355 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:44,133 I'M GUESSING THERE'S A GIRL INVOLVED? 356 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,573 - THERE IS! 357 00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:47,197 JEENA! SHE'S AWESOME, 358 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,630 BUT WHENEVER I'M AROUND HER I GET ALL TONGUE-TIED. 359 00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,133 - OH, TONGUE-TIED IS GOOD! 360 00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,833 YOU JUST NEED TO BLEND IT WITH A PROPER BRITISH ACCENT 361 00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:56,503 AND YOU'LL BE A HOBBIT-SIZED HUGH GRANT IN NO TIME. 362 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,170 [laughs] NOW GET TO IT! 363 00:14:58,167 --> 00:15:00,367 - 'ELLO, JEENA. 364 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:03,167 - UM, THAT'S THE WORST ACCENT I'VE EVER HEARD. 365 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:05,667 - BOLLOCKS! 366 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,467 EXCUSE ME, PARTY-GUEST, WOULD YOU MIND 367 00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,527 SIGNING THIS BIRTHDAY CARD FOR BABS? 368 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,833 - BE MY PLEASURE. 369 00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:12,473 BLAST! PAPER CUT. 370 00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:14,527 - OH I'M SO SORRY, HERE. 371 00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:17,573 LET'S JUST DAB THAT UP WITH THIS GLASS SPECIMEN SLIDE. 372 00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:19,697 NOW LET'S SEE IF YOU'VE MADE... 373 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:20,870 THE CUT. 374 00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:22,597 - * YEAH! * 375 00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,697 - WELL, I THINK IT'S PRETTY CLEAR 376 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,430 WHO MY FATHER IS. 377 00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:29,473 - CLIVE. - NICOS. 378 00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:30,827 - JAG. 379 00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:33,833 SO IT'S OFFICIAL--CARTOON DUCK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED, 380 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,473 AND THE DNA RESULTS WILL BE READY IN TEN MINUTES. 381 00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:39,297 - UH, WE MAY NOT HAVE TO WAIT THAT LONG, DUDE. 382 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,500 all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 383 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,970 - FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, BABS! 384 00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:46,297 - OH, MY GOD, NICOS? JAG? CLIVE? 385 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,670 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS IN, WHAT, FIFTEEN YEARS? 386 00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:51,167 UH, MONDO, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 387 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,497 - 'KAY, AND I THINK YOU'LL GET A KICK OUT OF THIS, 388 00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,200 SO I HACKED INTO YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT--SORRY-- 389 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,730 PRETENDED TO BE YOU-- AGAIN SORRY-- 390 00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:01,333 SENT LASCIVIOUS MESSAGES PROMISING SEX-- 391 00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,633 - OH. - MMM. 392 00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:03,833 - SUPER SORRY-- 393 00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:07,103 AND INVITED THESE GUYS HERE FOR YOUR HAPPY DAY! 394 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,700 SO WHICH ONE'S MY DADDY? 395 00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:12,603 - [chomps] 396 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,700 - YOUR DADDY? 397 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:17,670 [sighs] OH, MONDO HONEY, NONE OF THEM ARE. 398 00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:20,727 - BUT I WAS GONNA BE A YACHTSMAN WITH NICOS. 399 00:16:20,733 --> 00:16:22,733 YACHTSMAN? OH, NO, NO, NO. 400 00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:24,703 I'M AFRAID YOU HAVE THE WRONG IMPRESSION OF ME. 401 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,300 I STEAL BOATS, BUT ONLY TO SMUGGLE DRUGS. 402 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:30,370 - OH, OKAY, BUT I COULD HAVE LIVED THE ROCK STAR LIFE 403 00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:31,797 WITH MY PENIS TWIN JAG! 404 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,770 [taser zapping] - [gags] 405 00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:37,067 - HE'LL BE FINE. ALSO, I AM NO ROCK STAR, 406 00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:38,627 UNLESS YOU CALL HAVING THE WORLD'S ONLY 407 00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:41,773 ONE-MAN ABBA TRIBUTE BAND BEING A ROCK STAR. 408 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,727 - SO I GUESS YOU'RE NOT A REAL LORD 409 00:16:43,733 --> 00:16:44,903 WITH HUNDREDS OF ACRES, 410 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,970 TEEMING WITH A BEVY OF TOPLESS TEA MAIDENS? 411 00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:49,167 - ACTUALLY, IT'S THOUSANDS OF ACRES, 412 00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:51,627 AND THE TEA MAIDENS ARE COMPLETELY NUDE. 413 00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:53,573 BUT I AM NOT YOUR FATHER. 414 00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:56,697 - I'M SORRY, HONEY, THESE GUYS ARE JUST MY FRIENDS. 415 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,930 I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH ANY OF THEM. 416 00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:01,533 ALTHOUGH IF YOU HAVE AN OPENING AS A TEA MAIDEN... 417 00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:03,973 [laughs] ANYWAY, 418 00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,367 YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK. 419 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,427 - WAIT! NO ONE'S GOING ANYWHERE! 420 00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:14,503 I'VE GOT A POSITIVE MATCH. YOUR FATHER IS... 421 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,670 - [chomps] YEAH, UH, MMM. 422 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:20,427 - ME! THERE'S TRACES OF MY DNA IN EVERY SAMPLE. 423 00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:22,333 - WADSKA, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 424 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:27,333 - I ALWAYS SUSPECTED I WAS SOME SORT OF TIME-TRAVELING LOTHARIO. 425 00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:29,073 THIS CASE IS... 426 00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:30,327 CLOSED. 427 00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,133 CHEAP-ASS BATTERIES. 428 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:37,173 * YEAH! * 429 00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:42,097 - I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR FATHER A LONG TIME AGO. 430 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:45,470 YOUR FATHER WAS PART OF A POWERFUL FAMILY. 431 00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:46,597 - THE MOB? 432 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,630 - HE DIDN'T LIKE TO SAY, BUT YEAH. 433 00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:51,603 ANYWAY, YOUR FATHER WAS WHAT THEY CALL A CLEANER. 434 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,430 [car explodes] 435 00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:54,833 - HE GOT RID OF BODIES? 436 00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,973 NO! IT WAS MOSTLY CUSTODIAL. 437 00:17:57,967 --> 00:17:59,627 [vacuum cleaner runs] - WHOA. 438 00:17:59,633 --> 00:18:01,303 all: [giggle] - AND NO, THERE WEREN'T ANY 439 00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,670 TOPLESS MAIDS THERE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 440 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:07,097 ANYWAY, HE SAW SOME THINGS THAT HE SHOULDN'T HAVE SEEN. 441 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,230 AND AFTER THAT, HIS LIFE WAS IN DANGER. 442 00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:16,473 [beeps] [explosion] 443 00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:17,597 - BALLS. 444 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,700 - SINCE I WAS PREGNANT, HE WENT INTO HIDING, 445 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,600 AND I SPENT THE SUMMER IN THE NICEST, 446 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,730 SAFEST PLACE I COULD THINK OF-- 447 00:18:23,733 --> 00:18:25,703 ORLANDO, FLORIDA. 448 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:29,730 OH, HE'S NOT YOUR DAD, BUT I DID SMUSH THE HELL OUTTA THAT DUCK. 449 00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,273 AT THE END OF THE SUMMER, I WENT BACK TO JERSEY, 450 00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:37,067 WHERE I HAD YOU, THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. 451 00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,397 NOW COME ON, LET'S GET BACK INSIDE. 452 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,270 YOUR PLAN MAY HAVE BEEN STUPID, 453 00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,967 BUT IT DID SHOW ME THAT GUYS WILL STILL 454 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:46,767 TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD FOR A LITTLE SLICE OF THIS. 455 00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:47,727 [glasses clink] 456 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,170 [buttons rip] - OY. 457 00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:53,067 - WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU PROMISE THOSE GUYS ANYWAY? 458 00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:56,597 [synthesizer music] I AM JAG, AND THIS IS... 459 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,830 ABBA-ORTION! 460 00:18:57,833 --> 00:19:01,873 [pop music]] 461 00:19:01,867 --> 00:19:08,667 - * GOT MY LADIES HERE WITH ME AND WE'RE GONNA SET IT OFF * 462 00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:11,727 * A MILF, A GILF, AND A FUTURE SKANK, * 463 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,903 * AND WHATEVER MS. TEETS IS CALLED * 464 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,330 - * I'M A B.B. DUBZ WHO'S D.T.F. * 465 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:21,703 * THAT STANDS FOR BIG-BONED WOMAN WHO'S DOWN TO [bleep] * 466 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,070 - OKAY. 467 00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:29,527 all: * SO RAISE A GLASS AND BABY GET SOME ASS * 468 00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:36,273 - * I'M GONNA GET SUPER DRUNK AND PASS OUT BEHIND THE STAGE * 469 00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:39,467 * IF ANY LADIES WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE * 470 00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:43,497 * OF A BOY THAT'S UNDERAGE * 471 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,470 * I'D SAY THAT YOU'RE ON THIN ICE, MISTER * 472 00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:49,167 * IF I WASN'T GONNA PASS OUT FIRST * 473 00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:50,427 - AWESOME! 474 00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:57,333 all: * SO RAISE A GLASS AND BABY GET SOME ASS * 475 00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,073 - * WE CAME HERE FOR A BRANDO BANG * 476 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,027 * WE'LL SETTLE FOR SOME TEETS AND TANG * 477 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,803 - OH, IT'S ON. - YEAH. 478 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,500 * * 479 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:11,570 all: * SO RAISE A GLASS AND BABY GET SOME ASS * 480 00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:18,397 * SO RAISE A GLASS AND BABY GET SOME ASS * 481 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:25,400 * SO RAISE A GLASS AND BABY GET SOME ASS * 482 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,530 - SO GO GETCHA SOME. 483 00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:32,027 - * I'D LOVE TO TEACH HIM HOW TO GROW UP * 484 00:20:32,033 --> 00:20:38,973 * TO SPANK IT, OR CRANK IT, OR PEE STANDING UP * 485 00:20:38,967 --> 00:20:40,497 [chomp] 486 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:44,600 * OH! * 487 00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:49,200 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35708

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