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1
00:00:05,167 --> 00:00:08,197
- [sucking]
2
00:00:09,767 --> 00:00:12,227
[surf music]
3
00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:13,233
- WHO...
- IS...
4
00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:14,233
- THAT...
5
00:00:14,233 --> 00:00:15,403
- PERSON?
6
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,170
WHAT? I LIKE
BEING PART OF SENTENCES, TOO.
7
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:19,897
- OH, MY GOD, IT'S HIM!
IT'S MONDO.
8
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:23,970
- * WELL,
I'M THE KING OF THE OCEAN *
9
00:00:23,967 --> 00:00:25,297
* THEY CALL ME MONDO MAN *
10
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:26,470
- OH!
11
00:00:26,467 --> 00:00:27,627
- AHH!
12
00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:30,673
- * YES,
I'M THE KING OF THE OCEAN *
13
00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:32,167
* THEY CALL ME MONDO MAN *
14
00:00:32,167 --> 00:00:34,467
- [sucking]
15
00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:36,867
- * LET'S GET THIS PARTY
STARTED *
16
00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:38,697
* 'CAUSE I'M COMIN'
TO YOUR SANDS *
17
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:41,870
- [coughing]
OH, YEAH.
18
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,397
* *
19
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,600
- * I INTOXICATE
THE LADIES *
20
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,900
* THEY'RE ADDICTED
TO MY CRACK *
21
00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:49,270
[neon buzzing]
22
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:52,167
* I'VE GOT A BUDDY
WHO'S A SHARK *
23
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:54,097
* HE'S ALWAYS GOT MY BACK *
24
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,200
RIGHT, TERRY?
25
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,800
[guitar solo]
26
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,300
* I'M THE KING OF THE OCEAN *
27
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,900
* THEY CALL ME MONDO MAN *
28
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,070
* GET THOSE FUNBAGS READY *
29
00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:08,067
* 'CAUSE I'M COMING
WITH BOTH HANDS *
30
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,597
MOTORBOAT!
[gurgling]
31
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,370
all:
* HE'S THE KING OF THE OCEAN *
32
00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:15,897
* THEY CALL HIM MONDO MAN *
33
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,330
- * HE'S GOT A RED-HOT MAMA *
34
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:20,833
- * BUT WHO THE HELL'S
HIS DAD? *
35
00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:22,903
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
36
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,230
- WHO IS THE DAD?
37
00:01:24,233 --> 00:01:26,233
- I--I'M NOT SURE.
38
00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:27,503
- WHO IS THE DAD?
39
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,070
- I DON'T KNOW!
40
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,267
[laughter]
41
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,667
- HINT, IT'S THE ONE
WITH THE PENIS, DUMBASS.
42
00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:33,967
- [laughs]
43
00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:35,297
- YOU KNOW, I ALMOST DIDN'T EVEN
ASK THAT QUESTION
44
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,770
BECAUSE
IT WAS TOO STUPID.
45
00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:40,267
[rock music]
46
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,967
* *
47
00:01:46,233 --> 00:01:48,703
- MONDO, CHECK IT OUT.
48
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:51,370
- UM, YEAH, YEAH,
SKIN CANCER'S NO JOKE.
49
00:01:51,367 --> 00:01:53,667
- DUDE,
WHAT IS WITH YOU TODAY?
50
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:56,327
OH, DAD STUFF AGAIN, HUH?
51
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,273
- I MEAN, MOST OF THE TIME,
I'M COOL NOT HAVING A DAD,
52
00:01:58,267 --> 00:02:01,367
BUT SOMETIMES I JUST
WISH I KNEW WHO HE WAS.
53
00:02:01,367 --> 00:02:03,227
- SO WEIRD THAT YOUR MOM
WON'T TELL YOU.
54
00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:05,073
- WHENEVER
I TRY TO TALK TO HER ABOUT IT,
55
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:07,967
SHE THINKS SHE CAN JUST
DISTRACT ME WITH ICE CREAM,
56
00:02:07,967 --> 00:02:10,627
AS IF A DEEPLY EMOTIONAL HOLE
IN MY SOUL COULD BE FILLED
57
00:02:10,633 --> 00:02:13,573
WITH THE TEMPORARY SATISFACTION
OF A FROZEN TREAT.
58
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,527
- WHAT WERE WE TALKING
ABOUT AGAIN?
59
00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:17,203
- YOU WERE SAD ABOUT YOUR DAD.
60
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,630
- REALLY?
61
00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:22,403
BECAUSE I FEEL SO HAPPY AND
SATISFIED WITH THIS ICE CREAM.
62
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,630
[sighs] I GUESS
I'LL NEVER KNOW WHO HE IS.
63
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,433
- WELL, HEY, THERE,
STUDENT PEOPLE.
64
00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:28,673
- PRINCIPAL GURNIEL?
65
00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:30,127
YOU PLAY MUSIC
ON THE STREET?
66
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:32,533
- CAN'T AFFORD
THE HOUSEBOAT-SWINGER LIFESTYLE
67
00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:34,073
ON A PUBLIC-SCHOOL SALARY.
68
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:36,397
ANYHOO, IT SOUNDS LIKE
YOU NEED TO SEND BACK
69
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,870
YOUR DOWN-IN-THE-DUMPLINGS
FOR A BETTER HAPPY-TIZER.
70
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,067
HERE'S A LITTLE DITTY
TO PICK YOU UP.
71
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:45,567
* A FATHERLESS SON
WANDERS THE WORLD ALONE *
72
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:49,427
* NO "DAD PICS" FOLDER
ON HIS iPHONE *
73
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:53,303
* NO ONE TO TEACH HIM
HOW TO GROW UP *
74
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:58,130
* TO SPANK IT OR CRANK IT
OR PEE STANDING UP *
75
00:02:58,133 --> 00:03:00,533
- IT'S TRUE.
I SPRAY ALL OVER THE PLACE,
76
00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:02,603
LIKE A HOSE
WITH THE THUMB ON THE NOZZLE.
77
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,170
* *
78
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,627
* JUST THINK OF THE DAD THINGS
THAT I'LL NEVER KNOW *
79
00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:08,703
[thump]
[bell rings]
80
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:12,530
- * BUILDING YOUR MUSCLES
JUST LIKE THE PROS *
81
00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:16,503
- * HELPING
TO MAKE YOUR GARDEN GROW *
82
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:20,770
- * OR SELLING SPERMS
JUST FOR THE DOUGH *
83
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,597
- * BUT HAVING A DAD
CAN BE A REAL SUCK-FEST *
84
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:29,130
* WORK COMES FIRST
AND THEN ALL THE REST *
85
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:33,103
* COMING HOME DRUNK
WITH ALL HIS SLUTTY GUESTS *
86
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:37,600
- * BUT THEN THEY BUY YOU
BRAND-NEW BREASTS *
87
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,570
- * NO ONE TO TEACH ME
HOW TO GROW UP *
88
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:46,467
* TO SPANK IT OR CRANK IT
OR PEE STANDING UP *
89
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:49,467
- HEY! GET THE [bleep] AWAY
FROM MY KID, YOU PERV!
90
00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:53,827
- GETTING OLD SUCKS, VONEETA.
I MEAN, SURE I'M A MILF.
91
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,773
BUT HOW LONG BEFORE I'M A GILF
OR A G-GILF,
92
00:03:56,767 --> 00:03:59,727
OR WORSE, MY "ILF" DAYS
ARE GONE FOREVER?
93
00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,503
- OH, PLUG YOUR THREE HOLES,
SEX-FACE.
94
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,670
I KNOW YOU'RE P.M.S.-ING
ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK,
95
00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:05,727
BUT IF YOU'RE FEELIN' OLD
AND DOWN, DO WHAT I DO.
96
00:04:05,733 --> 00:04:08,603
STRAP ON THE INTERNETS
AND GIVE FACEBOOK A POKE-SEE.
97
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,830
- I DON'T KNOW.
98
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,073
I MEAN, I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO BEGIN.
99
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:14,127
- JUST POP IN A PASSWORD.
100
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:15,973
AND NOW ALL WE NEED
IS A PHOTO.
101
00:04:15,967 --> 00:04:18,327
- HMM. I DON'T KNOW
IF I HAVE A RECENT ONE.
102
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,133
- OH, I HAVE A BUNCH OF YOU
SLEEPING.
103
00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:22,203
OH, DID I SAY "SLEEPING"?
I MEANT BLINKING...
104
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,170
LATE AT NIGHT...
IN BED.
105
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,727
YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY
WHEN YOU BLINK.
106
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,430
- UGH, HIM? AND HIM?
107
00:04:29,433 --> 00:04:32,773
EVERY HORNY CREEP
I EVER DATED IS IN HERE.
108
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:33,867
- HEY, MA...
109
00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:36,297
I WAS HOPING
I COULD ASK YOU SOMETHING,
110
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,700
UH, ABOUT MY DAD.
111
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:39,800
- HONEY,
IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME.
112
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,800
HERE.
- BUT I REALLY NEED TO--
113
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,900
OH! DULCE DE LECHE!
114
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,870
[grumbling]
115
00:04:45,867 --> 00:04:47,797
- DUDE, I GOT IT!
- GOT WHAT?
116
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,130
- YOU HEARD BABS.
117
00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:51,403
EVERY GUY SHE EVER DATED
IS ON HER FACEBOOK.
118
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,400
ONE OF THOSE HORNY CREEPS
COULD BE YOUR DAD!
119
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,567
- BALLS!
WITHOUT MY MOM'S PASSWORD,
120
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:04,227
I CAN'T SEE
ANY OF THESE GUYS' PROFILES.
121
00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,503
OH, MY DAD'S SO CLOSE,
I CAN SMELL HIM.
122
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,070
[sniffs]
BABY POWDER AND CHINESE FOOD?
123
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:10,397
- EGGROLL?
[both scream]
124
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,170
- WADSKA! WHAT THE [bleep]
ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET?
125
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,727
- WE HAD A SECRET SLEEPOVER
LAST NIGHT.
126
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,203
- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
127
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,500
- WELL, IT WOULDN'T BE A SECRET
IF YOU DID!
128
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:20,900
NOW,
DO YOU WANT MY HELP
129
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,970
IN HACKING
YOUR MOTHER'S ACCOUNT, OR NOT?
130
00:05:22,967 --> 00:05:24,127
- I GUESS.
- [cracks knuckles]
131
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:27,433
[giggles]
OKAY, BARBARA "BABS" BRANDO,
132
00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:29,333
IT'S TIME
TO GET INSIDE YOU.
133
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:32,673
YOU'RE A WOMAN,
A LADY, A MOTHER WITH BREASTS!
134
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:33,967
AND WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT
TO A MOTHER?
135
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,297
YOUR CHILD, YOUR SON,
YOUR LITTLE ITTY-BITTY BABY,
136
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,130
YOUR MONDO,
YOUR LITTLE MUNCHKIN!
137
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,373
HMM, I'M CLOSE,
AREN'T I, BABS?
138
00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:42,967
YOU'RE A WOMAN OF
CERTAIN TASTES, CERTAIN WANTS,
139
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:47,197
CERTAIN DESIRES!
YOU CLEVER, CLEVER GIRL.
140
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,630
BOOM!
WE'RE IN!
141
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:51,333
- WHAT WAS THE PASSWORD?
- EH, MUNCHKINMAMA[bleep].
142
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:52,333
- NICE.
143
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,873
- 3,000 FRIENDS?
AHH!
144
00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,427
THIS WOULD BE
SO MUCH EASIER
145
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,933
IF WE ONLY KNEW YOUR
MOM'S MENSTRUAL CYCLE.
146
00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:00,703
- WHAT?
- 15th OF EVERY MONTH,
147
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,430
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
148
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:05,073
HER BREASTS SWELL UP,
AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT NOTICES?
149
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:08,327
- ALL RIGHT, FACTORING IN
A GESTATION PERIOD OF 280 DAYS
150
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:12,473
TELLS US MONDO WAS CONCEIVED
ON OR AROUND 12:05AM,
151
00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:16,397
JULY FOURTH, 1995,
PLUS OR MINUS SIX DAYS.
152
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,100
- THAT'S THE SUMMER
SHE WORKED AT DISNEY!
153
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,630
- LAND?
- WORLD.
154
00:06:19,633 --> 00:06:20,703
- [whistles]
- WHISTLE!
155
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,070
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
SHE RAN THE GELATO STAND
156
00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:24,627
IN THE INTERNATIONAL
FOOD COURT.
157
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:25,903
- AHH!
EXCELLENT.
158
00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:28,900
FILTERING OUR RESULTS BY GENDER,
FORMER EMPLOYERS
159
00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:32,800
AND OVERLY FRIENDLY MESSAGES,
DRUM ROLL PLEASE...
160
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,730
ONE OF THESE FOUR MEN
IS YOUR FATHER!
161
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:37,373
- UM, ONE OF THESE
IS A CARTOON DUCK.
162
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:40,867
- ONE OF THESE THREE MEN AND
A CARTOON DUCK IS YOUR FATHER!
163
00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:44,197
- [chomps]
164
00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:51,967
- * I WAS THE NEW GIRL *
165
00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:54,497
* I WAS THE COOL GIRL *
166
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:58,270
* NOW I'M NOTHING
BUT AN OLD COUGAR *
167
00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:03,067
* I USED TO TURN HEADS,
FALL OUT OF STRANGE BEDS *
168
00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:07,197
* NOW I'M STUCK WEARING
MY MOM JEANS INSTEAD *
169
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,170
* ALL THE BOYS USED TO SAY
SUCH SWEET THINGS *
170
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:12,597
* LIKE "GIVE US A KISS,"
AND "SHOW US YOUR [bleep]" *
171
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,070
* NOW ALL THEY CALL ME
IS "LADY" AND "MA'AM" *
172
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,827
* OH, WHAT I'D GIVE
TO HEAR JUST ONE-- *
173
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:17,873
- [bleep] DAMN!
174
00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:20,167
* I'M NOT THE NEW GIRL *
175
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:22,597
[bank alarm rings]
* I'M NOT THE COOL GIRL *
176
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:28,600
* NOW I AM ONLY
AN AGING COUGAR *
177
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,130
[fireworks explode]
- YEAH.
178
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,200
- WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
179
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,700
WHAT IF WE THREW HER
AN AWESOME PARTY?
180
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,800
- YOU YOUNG HOOCHIE-COOCHIE
FLAPPER GIRLS,
181
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,330
THINKING ALL LIFE'S PROBLEMS
182
00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,273
CAN BE SOLVED
WITH SOME SPIKED PUNCH
183
00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:46,067
AND AN ASSORTMENT OF PARAFFIN
RAINBOW LIP COVERINGS.
184
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:49,467
- LISTEN, SOMEDAY SOMEBODY'S
GONNA CALL ME A COUGAR,
185
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:52,297
OR WHATEVER PEOPLE CALL
HOT OLDER CHICKS IN THE FUTURE.
186
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,430
- SKANK.
I'M PRETTY SURE IT'LL BE SKANK.
187
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,933
THINGS TEND TO RUN
IN CYCLES.
188
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,473
- SURE, AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
ALL I KNOW
189
00:07:58,467 --> 00:08:01,497
IS THAT NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME
FEEL MORE VITAL AND ALIVE
190
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,870
THAN PARTYING
WITH MY FRIENDS
191
00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:05,327
UNTIL I'M PASSED OUT
IN A POOL OF MY OWN VOM.
192
00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:07,933
- HELLS, YEAH! MY [bleep]
IS PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW!
193
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:09,303
[bleep] DAMN,
I NEED A BEAT!
194
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:11,670
[record spins at fast speed]
195
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:14,297
[hip-hop music]
- * UH-HUH, BACK UP *
196
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,370
* HERE IT COMES *
197
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:19,067
* NOW I ROLL UP ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR DEEP *
198
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,697
* BUT AIN'T NO ONE AROUND,
THAT'S JUST ME *
199
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:24,130
* THE "T"
TO THE DOUBLE E-T-Z *
200
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:25,503
* SITTING HIGH,
SITTING FLY *
201
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,970
* LIKE PHARCYDE SAID,
I KEEP ON...
202
00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,667
- * PASSING YOU BY *
* PASSING YOU BY *
203
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:30,467
- * BUT IT AIN'T ABOUT ME *
204
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:32,867
* IT'S ABOUT "B"
BIGGITY "B," BIGGITY "A," *
205
00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:34,067
* BIGGITY "B,"
BIGGITY "Z" *
206
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,367
* I'M TALKING BABS *
- WHAT?
207
00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:36,727
- * TALKIN' BABS *
- WHO?
208
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,933
* THE QUEEN, THE DIVA,
MY REASON TO BE *
209
00:08:38,933 --> 00:08:41,973
* OUGHTA PUT THAT ASS
ON MTV *
210
00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:44,667
- OKAY, OKAY, I HEAR YOU,
MS. "T," BUT CHECK THIS,
211
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,967
WE GOT A PARTY TO PLAN,
SO...
212
00:08:46,967 --> 00:08:49,327
* SHOP 'TIL WE DROP,
WE GOTS TO COP *
213
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,773
* SWIPING PLASTIC, DROPPING CASH
LIKE WE SLINGING ROCK *
214
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:55,497
* BUYIN' UP THE BAR,
OH, SNAP, THAT'S RIGHT *
215
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,470
* BAR'S ALREADY BOUGHT *
- * BOUGHT, BOUGHT, BOUGHT *
216
00:08:57,467 --> 00:09:00,267
- NOT BAD, JEENA, BUT I THINK
IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME.
217
00:09:00,267 --> 00:09:02,127
YO, TANG,
HIT 'EM WITH THE HOOK!
218
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:05,373
- HEY-Y.
"T" TO THE "ANG."
219
00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:07,267
YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE.
220
00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:09,527
* HAU'OLI LA HANAU
IS THE WAY WE SAY *
221
00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:12,433
* GONNA GET REAL CRUNK
ON BABS' BIRTHDAY *
222
00:09:12,433 --> 00:09:14,733
* HAU'OLI LA HANAU
IS THE WAY WE SAY *
223
00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:17,873
* GONNA FREAK AND FUNK
ALL ON YOUR FACE *
224
00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:18,867
[record scratch]
225
00:09:18,867 --> 00:09:21,297
- SENDING A MASS eVITE
RIGHT NOW.
226
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:24,070
WOW, MS. TEETS. WHERE
DID YOU LEARN TO RAP LIKE THAT?
227
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,627
- OH, WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
I BANGED A LOT OF BLACK GUYS
228
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,573
AND THEY WERE
ALWAYS LISTENING TO RAP MUSIC
229
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,627
SO I GOT REALLY GOOD
AT RAPPING, OR SOMETHING.
230
00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:33,673
- SO WHO ARE
THE THREE MAYBE-DADDIES?
231
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,727
- FIRST ONE
IS NICOS PETROS.
232
00:09:35,733 --> 00:09:37,933
- HE'S
A YACHTING ENTHUSIAST!
233
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,970
- WHAT ISLAND IS THAT-A,
PAPI?
234
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,067
- YEAH, THAT'S YOUR ISLAND,
MY LITTLE PRINCE.
235
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,327
MONDONESIA,
THE ISLAND OF FORBIDDEN BIKINI.
236
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:47,973
all: [giggle]
237
00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:49,797
- [laughs]
I COULD LIVE WITH THAT.
238
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:50,870
WHO'S NEXT?
239
00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,667
- JAG KNULLERBROD.
240
00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:55,427
- DUDE! HE'S AN EFFIN'
SWEDISH ROCK STAR!
241
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,173
[Scandinavian pop music]
242
00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:59,627
- VAT CITY ARE VE IN,
FAHDER?
243
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:03,133
- YOUR CITY, SONNY. MONDOSTADT.
[crowd cheers]
244
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:05,173
NOW TAKE YOUR STAGE DIVE.
245
00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:06,667
- YEAH!
246
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:09,967
SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS GOTTA
GET IN ON THESE FANTASIES.
247
00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:11,797
I'M KILLING IT IN HERE.
248
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,170
AND THE LAST ONE?
249
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:17,427
- LORD CLIVE GOODSPEED, OF
THE BUCKINGHAMSHIRE GOODSPEEDS.
250
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,073
- OH,
LOOK AT THE RESEMBLANCE!
251
00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:20,427
IT'S LIKE I'M STARING
INTO A MIRROR.
252
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:23,367
[classical music]
253
00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:25,367
YOUR TURN, DADDY!
254
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:29,367
BEST OF LUCK HITTING A GOOGLY
ON THAT STICKY WICKET.
255
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,297
- PISH POSH. TEA?
[rings bell]
256
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,170
all: [giggle]
257
00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:34,767
- YOU HIT THE JACKPOT, DUDE.
258
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,427
NOW WE JUST NEED A WAY
TO NARROW THEM DOWN.
259
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,233
- MMM...
MAMMA MIA!
260
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:43,230
HELLO, MAMMA MIA?
THE CLASSIC SWEDE-POP MUSICAL
261
00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:45,433
AND MOTION PICTURE
OF THE SAME NAME?
262
00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:47,873
BUT THE SINGING,
THE DANCING,
263
00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:52,397
THE SEQUINED SPANDEX
THAT LINE THE BODY. OH!
264
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,870
NOTHING?
265
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:56,567
IT'S SIMPLE. WE SEND A FACEBOOK
MESSAGE FROM "BABS BRANDO,"
266
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:57,797
INVITING
THE POTENTIAL PAPAS
267
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,400
TO YOUR MOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY
THIS WEEKEND,
268
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,730
WE DO
A LITTLE PRIVATE DICK WORK,
269
00:11:00,733 --> 00:11:02,573
AND FASTER THAN YOU CAN SING
DANCING QUEEN,
270
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:04,367
YOU WILL KNOW
WHO YOUR DADDY IS!
271
00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:06,867
- THAT'S ACTUALLY
A REALLY GREAT IDEA.
272
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,797
- AND TO PUT US IN THE MOOD,
I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE
273
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,730
A DVD OF MAMMA MIA!
274
00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:16,303
LOOK MOMMY, I'M A LADY NOW!
PRETTY, PRETTY LADY!
275
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,970
OOPS, WRONG ONE.
276
00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:22,067
- WE STILL GOT SOME TIME TO KILL
BEFORE THE PARTY,
277
00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:25,627
SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
IN THE MOOD FOR--COKE, LSD?
278
00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:29,073
- HEROIN?
- OH, WE ALWAYS DO HEROIN.
279
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,167
LET'S JUST PUT IT
ON RANDOM.
280
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:33,527
PERFECT!
281
00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:35,373
- AND UNO, DOS,
TRES, QUATRO!
282
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,597
[rock music]
283
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,330
- * JERSEY GIRL
AND HER LITTLE BRAT *
284
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:44,633
* THEY HEADED WEST
AND THAT WAS THAT *
285
00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:48,103
* HUNGRY HEART
AND BORN TO RUN *
286
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:52,070
* LEFT THE SHORE
TO HAVE SOME FUN *
287
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:55,327
* WELL, WE GOT EACH OTHER
AND THAT'S ALL WE NEED *
288
00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,673
* ALL DADDY DID
WAS PLANT THE SEED *
289
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,667
* HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY *
290
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:02,967
* LITTLE BASTARD *
291
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:04,667
[saxophone solo]
292
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,097
- HEY!
293
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,700
- * HE'LL KEEP SEARCHIN'
THOSE BACK STREETS *
294
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:12,670
* FOR THE ONLY MAN
TO MAKE HIS FAMILY COMPLETE *
295
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:15,827
* DREAMS OF THE REUNION
OF THE JERSEY DAD *
296
00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:20,503
* AND THE CALIFORNIA SON,
BUT UNTIL THAT DAY COMES *
297
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,670
* WELL, WE GOT EACH OTHER
AND THAT'S ALL WE NEED *
298
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,767
* ALL DADDY DID
WAS PLANT THE SEED *
299
00:12:26,767 --> 00:12:29,567
- * HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY *
300
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,667
- * LITTLE BASTARD *
301
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,067
- VERY HEARTFELT,
VERY THEMATICAL.
302
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:37,397
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- ENCORE! ENCORE!
303
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,700
- IS THIS YOUR UNDERWEAR?
304
00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:39,870
- MAYBE.
305
00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,327
- WE'VE GOTTA GET
OVER TO THE PARTY!
306
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:44,533
I'VE GOT
SOME DADS TO MEET!
307
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:47,973
- * NOW ALL THEY CALL ME
IS "LADY" AND "MA'AM" *
308
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,627
* WHAT I WOULD GIVE
TO HEAR JUST ONE-- *
309
00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:52,103
- [bleep] DAMN!
310
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,930
[club music]
- * YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. *
311
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:57,403
* *
312
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,770
- SO WHAT'S YOUR STRATEGY?
313
00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:00,397
HOW ARE YOU GONNA KNOW
WHO YOUR DAD IS?
314
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,900
- I'LL JUST KNOW, WOODIE.
I'LL FEEL IT IN MY HEART.
315
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:06,230
- BUT THE HEART LIES.
SEMEN DOESN'T.
316
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,073
- * YEAH! *
317
00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:09,367
- WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?
318
00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:12,067
- OH, IT'S JUST
MY DAVID CARUSO SUNGLASSES.
319
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,927
THEY CAME WITH MY
"CSI JR. DNA TESTING KIT,"
320
00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:18,233
WHICH I'M GONNA USE
TO DETERMINE WHO YOUR FATHER IS!
321
00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:20,573
- * YEAH! *
322
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,697
[door opens]
323
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,230
[door closes]
324
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,833
- OKAY, THERE'S PAPA NICOS.
LET'S GO.
325
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,173
both: [chomp]
[burp]
326
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:35,897
BALLS!
327
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,300
- DUDE, THAT'S EERIE.
328
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,500
- I KNOW! WE COULDN'T BE
MORE DIFFERENT.
329
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,170
LIKE, MY POLAR OPPOSITE
IN EVERY WAY--
330
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:43,727
OOH, I LOVE THIS TUNE!
331
00:13:43,733 --> 00:13:46,733
[folk music]
332
00:13:46,733 --> 00:13:49,633
* *
333
00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:51,733
- LOOKS LIKE
THE CATCH OF THE DAY...
334
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:54,803
IS YOU.
- * YEAH! *
335
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:58,567
- [sighs]
336
00:13:58,567 --> 00:13:59,727
[door closes]
337
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:03,967
HEY! CHECK IT OUT!
WE HAVE THE SAME PENIS!
338
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,867
WE'RE PENIS TWINS!
339
00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:08,397
[taser zapping]
OH!
340
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,500
[zipper sound]
341
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:16,233
- IF IT'S YELLOW,
WADSKA SAYS "HELLO."
342
00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:18,403
- * YEAH! *
343
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,100
- HEY, SMALL WONDER,
WANT SOME PUNCH?
344
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,100
- OKAY, YOU'RE EITHER
GOING TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE,
345
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,600
OR DUNK MY HEAD
IN THE PUNCH.
346
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,570
- ACTUALLY,
I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE,
347
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:29,167
BUT THOSE IDEAS
ARE HARD TO RESIST.
348
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:31,427
- UNFIST THAT LAD.
- WHAT?
349
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,703
- I SAID UNFIST!
350
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,630
HA!
[thumping]
351
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,303
- GENTLEMAN NINJA!
RUN!
352
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:38,800
all: [whimper and moan]
353
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,770
- YOU ALL RIGHT THERE, SON?
- SON?
354
00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,327
- QUITE A HOOLIGAN,
THAT ONE.
355
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:44,133
I'M GUESSING
THERE'S A GIRL INVOLVED?
356
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,573
- THERE IS!
357
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:47,197
JEENA!
SHE'S AWESOME,
358
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,630
BUT WHENEVER I'M AROUND HER
I GET ALL TONGUE-TIED.
359
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,133
- OH,
TONGUE-TIED IS GOOD!
360
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,833
YOU JUST NEED TO BLEND IT
WITH A PROPER BRITISH ACCENT
361
00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:56,503
AND YOU'LL BE A HOBBIT-SIZED
HUGH GRANT IN NO TIME.
362
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,170
[laughs]
NOW GET TO IT!
363
00:14:58,167 --> 00:15:00,367
- 'ELLO, JEENA.
364
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:03,167
- UM, THAT'S THE WORST ACCENT
I'VE EVER HEARD.
365
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:05,667
- BOLLOCKS!
366
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,467
EXCUSE ME, PARTY-GUEST,
WOULD YOU MIND
367
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,527
SIGNING THIS BIRTHDAY CARD
FOR BABS?
368
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,833
- BE MY PLEASURE.
369
00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:12,473
BLAST!
PAPER CUT.
370
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:14,527
- OH I'M SO SORRY, HERE.
371
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:17,573
LET'S JUST DAB THAT UP
WITH THIS GLASS SPECIMEN SLIDE.
372
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:19,697
NOW LET'S SEE
IF YOU'VE MADE...
373
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:20,870
THE CUT.
374
00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:22,597
- * YEAH! *
375
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,697
- WELL, I THINK
IT'S PRETTY CLEAR
376
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,430
WHO MY FATHER IS.
377
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:29,473
- CLIVE.
- NICOS.
378
00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:30,827
- JAG.
379
00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:33,833
SO IT'S OFFICIAL--CARTOON DUCK
HAS BEEN ELIMINATED,
380
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,473
AND THE DNA RESULTS
WILL BE READY IN TEN MINUTES.
381
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:39,297
- UH, WE MAY NOT
HAVE TO WAIT THAT LONG, DUDE.
382
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,500
all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
383
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,970
- FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, BABS!
384
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:46,297
- OH, MY GOD, NICOS? JAG?
CLIVE?
385
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,670
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS IN,
WHAT, FIFTEEN YEARS?
386
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:51,167
UH, MONDO,
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
387
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,497
- 'KAY, AND I THINK YOU'LL
GET A KICK OUT OF THIS,
388
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,200
SO I HACKED INTO
YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT--SORRY--
389
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,730
PRETENDED TO BE YOU--
AGAIN SORRY--
390
00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:01,333
SENT LASCIVIOUS MESSAGES
PROMISING SEX--
391
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,633
- OH.
- MMM.
392
00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:03,833
- SUPER SORRY--
393
00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:07,103
AND INVITED THESE GUYS
HERE FOR YOUR HAPPY DAY!
394
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,700
SO WHICH ONE'S MY DADDY?
395
00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:12,603
- [chomps]
396
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,700
- YOUR DADDY?
397
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:17,670
[sighs] OH, MONDO HONEY,
NONE OF THEM ARE.
398
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:20,727
- BUT I WAS GONNA BE
A YACHTSMAN WITH NICOS.
399
00:16:20,733 --> 00:16:22,733
YACHTSMAN?
OH, NO, NO, NO.
400
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:24,703
I'M AFRAID YOU HAVE
THE WRONG IMPRESSION OF ME.
401
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,300
I STEAL BOATS,
BUT ONLY TO SMUGGLE DRUGS.
402
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:30,370
- OH, OKAY, BUT I COULD HAVE
LIVED THE ROCK STAR LIFE
403
00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:31,797
WITH MY PENIS TWIN JAG!
404
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,770
[taser zapping]
- [gags]
405
00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:37,067
- HE'LL BE FINE.
ALSO, I AM NO ROCK STAR,
406
00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:38,627
UNLESS YOU CALL
HAVING THE WORLD'S ONLY
407
00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:41,773
ONE-MAN ABBA TRIBUTE BAND
BEING A ROCK STAR.
408
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,727
- SO I GUESS
YOU'RE NOT A REAL LORD
409
00:16:43,733 --> 00:16:44,903
WITH HUNDREDS OF ACRES,
410
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,970
TEEMING WITH
A BEVY OF TOPLESS TEA MAIDENS?
411
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:49,167
- ACTUALLY,
IT'S THOUSANDS OF ACRES,
412
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:51,627
AND THE TEA MAIDENS
ARE COMPLETELY NUDE.
413
00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:53,573
BUT
I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.
414
00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:56,697
- I'M SORRY, HONEY,
THESE GUYS ARE JUST MY FRIENDS.
415
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,930
I DIDN'T
SLEEP WITH ANY OF THEM.
416
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:01,533
ALTHOUGH IF YOU HAVE
AN OPENING AS A TEA MAIDEN...
417
00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:03,973
[laughs]
ANYWAY,
418
00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,367
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.
419
00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,427
- WAIT!
NO ONE'S GOING ANYWHERE!
420
00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:14,503
I'VE GOT A POSITIVE MATCH.
YOUR FATHER IS...
421
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,670
- [chomps]
YEAH, UH, MMM.
422
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:20,427
- ME! THERE'S TRACES
OF MY DNA IN EVERY SAMPLE.
423
00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:22,333
- WADSKA, THAT DOESN'T
MAKE ANY SENSE.
424
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:27,333
- I ALWAYS SUSPECTED I WAS SOME
SORT OF TIME-TRAVELING LOTHARIO.
425
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:29,073
THIS CASE IS...
426
00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:30,327
CLOSED.
427
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,133
CHEAP-ASS BATTERIES.
428
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:37,173
* YEAH! *
429
00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:42,097
- I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT
YOUR FATHER A LONG TIME AGO.
430
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:45,470
YOUR FATHER WAS
PART OF A POWERFUL FAMILY.
431
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:46,597
- THE MOB?
432
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,630
- HE DIDN'T LIKE TO SAY,
BUT YEAH.
433
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:51,603
ANYWAY, YOUR FATHER WAS
WHAT THEY CALL A CLEANER.
434
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,430
[car explodes]
435
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:54,833
- HE GOT RID OF BODIES?
436
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,973
NO!
IT WAS MOSTLY CUSTODIAL.
437
00:17:57,967 --> 00:17:59,627
[vacuum cleaner runs]
- WHOA.
438
00:17:59,633 --> 00:18:01,303
all: [giggle]
- AND NO, THERE WEREN'T ANY
439
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,670
TOPLESS MAIDS THERE,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
440
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:07,097
ANYWAY, HE SAW SOME THINGS
THAT HE SHOULDN'T HAVE SEEN.
441
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,230
AND AFTER THAT,
HIS LIFE WAS IN DANGER.
442
00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:16,473
[beeps]
[explosion]
443
00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:17,597
- BALLS.
444
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,700
- SINCE I WAS PREGNANT,
HE WENT INTO HIDING,
445
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,600
AND I SPENT THE SUMMER
IN THE NICEST,
446
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,730
SAFEST PLACE
I COULD THINK OF--
447
00:18:23,733 --> 00:18:25,703
ORLANDO, FLORIDA.
448
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:29,730
OH, HE'S NOT YOUR DAD, BUT I DID
SMUSH THE HELL OUTTA THAT DUCK.
449
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,273
AT THE END OF THE SUMMER,
I WENT BACK TO JERSEY,
450
00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:37,067
WHERE I HAD YOU, THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
451
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,397
NOW COME ON,
LET'S GET BACK INSIDE.
452
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,270
YOUR PLAN
MAY HAVE BEEN STUPID,
453
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,967
BUT IT DID SHOW ME
THAT GUYS WILL STILL
454
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:46,767
TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD
FOR A LITTLE SLICE OF THIS.
455
00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:47,727
[glasses clink]
456
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,170
[buttons rip]
- OY.
457
00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:53,067
- WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU PROMISE
THOSE GUYS ANYWAY?
458
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:56,597
[synthesizer music]
I AM JAG, AND THIS IS...
459
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,830
ABBA-ORTION!
460
00:18:57,833 --> 00:19:01,873
[pop music]]
461
00:19:01,867 --> 00:19:08,667
- * GOT MY LADIES HERE WITH ME
AND WE'RE GONNA SET IT OFF *
462
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:11,727
* A MILF, A GILF,
AND A FUTURE SKANK, *
463
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,903
* AND WHATEVER
MS. TEETS IS CALLED *
464
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,330
- * I'M A B.B. DUBZ
WHO'S D.T.F. *
465
00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:21,703
* THAT STANDS FOR BIG-BONED
WOMAN WHO'S DOWN TO [bleep] *
466
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,070
- OKAY.
467
00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:29,527
all: * SO RAISE A GLASS
AND BABY GET SOME ASS *
468
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:36,273
- * I'M GONNA GET SUPER DRUNK
AND PASS OUT BEHIND THE STAGE *
469
00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:39,467
* IF ANY LADIES
WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE *
470
00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:43,497
* OF A BOY THAT'S UNDERAGE *
471
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,470
* I'D SAY THAT YOU'RE
ON THIN ICE, MISTER *
472
00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:49,167
* IF I WASN'T
GONNA PASS OUT FIRST *
473
00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:50,427
- AWESOME!
474
00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:57,333
all: * SO RAISE A GLASS
AND BABY GET SOME ASS *
475
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,073
- * WE CAME HERE
FOR A BRANDO BANG *
476
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,027
* WE'LL SETTLE FOR
SOME TEETS AND TANG *
477
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,803
- OH, IT'S ON.
- YEAH.
478
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,500
* *
479
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:11,570
all: * SO RAISE A GLASS
AND BABY GET SOME ASS *
480
00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:18,397
* SO RAISE A GLASS
AND BABY GET SOME ASS *
481
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:25,400
* SO RAISE A GLASS
AND BABY GET SOME ASS *
482
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,530
- SO GO GETCHA SOME.
483
00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:32,027
- * I'D LOVE TO TEACH HIM
HOW TO GROW UP *
484
00:20:32,033 --> 00:20:38,973
* TO SPANK IT, OR CRANK IT,
OR PEE STANDING UP *
485
00:20:38,967 --> 00:20:40,497
[chomp]
486
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:44,600
* OH! *
487
00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:49,200
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