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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:45,832 I'm just a penny on the train track 2 00:00:45,916 --> 00:00:48,502 Waiting for my judgment day 3 00:00:49,044 --> 00:00:52,256 Come on, baby girl, let me see those legs 4 00:00:52,381 --> 00:00:55,050 Before I get flattened away 5 00:00:55,509 --> 00:00:57,260 I wait 6 00:00:58,929 --> 00:01:00,889 Yeah, I wait 7 00:01:02,307 --> 00:01:07,104 For something good, for something great 8 00:01:09,356 --> 00:01:12,567 Stopping in somebody's old home town 9 00:01:12,651 --> 00:01:15,737 Gotta get that midnight meal 10 00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:19,366 If you can't get behind your own life 11 00:01:19,449 --> 00:01:22,369 Get behind the driving wheel 12 00:01:22,452 --> 00:01:27,457 And go, just go 13 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:34,131 Find a place that you don't know 14 00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:39,636 Ran into a friend just the other night 15 00:01:39,761 --> 00:01:42,264 Got a badge, he's a local cop 16 00:01:43,265 --> 00:01:46,309 Haven't seen that boy in over seven years 17 00:01:46,435 --> 00:01:49,312 Since out of high school I dropped 18 00:01:49,396 --> 00:01:55,026 I see, I see 19 00:01:56,987 --> 00:02:01,742 All the things that I should be 20 00:02:24,431 --> 00:02:26,641 I wait 21 00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:28,226 Yeah, I wait 22 00:02:30,187 --> 00:02:34,816 For something good, for something great 23 00:02:37,694 --> 00:02:39,404 Dude! You're totally missing it! 24 00:02:39,696 --> 00:02:43,033 It's fucking crazy here, man! Dude! Kev. 25 00:02:43,158 --> 00:02:45,368 I've got an idea. I want you to drop what you are doing. 26 00:02:45,494 --> 00:02:49,998 I want you to come down here and take a picture of this for the paper! 27 00:02:50,081 --> 00:02:53,877 Now that, my friend, is front page material. Lateski. 28 00:02:59,424 --> 00:03:01,134 Hey, Mom! Gina, Morris and I are gonna leave 29 00:03:01,218 --> 00:03:03,053 for Fieldmont right after school today. 30 00:03:03,136 --> 00:03:06,348 Honey, I completely forgot about that. Can you do it next weekend? 31 00:03:06,431 --> 00:03:10,143 Derek was gonna take me into the city tomorrow night for dinner. 32 00:03:10,227 --> 00:03:12,354 - God! It's already 7:00? - We can't. 33 00:03:12,437 --> 00:03:15,023 Morris has a scholarship meeting and we're signed up for the campus tour. 34 00:03:15,106 --> 00:03:17,400 - Carter. - Hi. What's up Ms. B? 35 00:03:19,194 --> 00:03:23,448 Dude, she totally threw off my groove! I was almost at the top level. 36 00:03:24,074 --> 00:03:25,325 - Hey, Carter. - What's up, man? 37 00:03:25,408 --> 00:03:27,452 What's up, little people? 38 00:03:29,996 --> 00:03:31,414 Running a little bit low. 39 00:03:31,498 --> 00:03:33,375 Kev! Can I ask you a question? 40 00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:36,503 You know that book that Miss Dangle makes everybody read about the mice? 41 00:03:36,586 --> 00:03:39,756 - You mean Of Mice and Men? - Bingo! That's the one, yeah. 42 00:03:39,881 --> 00:03:41,341 So let me get this straight. 43 00:03:41,424 --> 00:03:45,845 These two dudes dream of buying a farm together to raise rabbits? 44 00:03:46,596 --> 00:03:48,056 Hmm. 45 00:03:48,139 --> 00:03:51,768 And I'm no expert, but doesn't that seem a little... 46 00:03:51,893 --> 00:03:55,897 I don't know. Kind of G-A-Y? 47 00:03:56,314 --> 00:03:57,774 Dude, I think you're kind of missing the point. 48 00:03:57,857 --> 00:04:00,777 - We can spell, Carter. - Yeah, dumb A-S-S. 49 00:04:01,736 --> 00:04:03,530 Dude. Satan's children, I swear. Spawn of Satan. 50 00:04:08,034 --> 00:04:11,454 Right. Come on, guys! Mrs. Seavers is here. Let's go! 51 00:04:12,789 --> 00:04:14,666 Grab your backpacks. 52 00:04:22,382 --> 00:04:23,341 Oh, yeah! 53 00:04:23,466 --> 00:04:24,801 All right, see you guys! 54 00:04:34,477 --> 00:04:37,480 Would you look at this guy? Why do we have to hang out with him? 55 00:04:37,564 --> 00:04:38,940 - Hey, Morris. - Hey, guys. 56 00:04:39,024 --> 00:04:41,609 Hey, Morris, what's up with all the geek books? 57 00:04:41,735 --> 00:04:43,611 I've got a scholarship interview in a day, Carter. 58 00:04:43,695 --> 00:04:45,780 And my parents are up my ass about it. 59 00:04:45,905 --> 00:04:47,949 Morris, your parents are always up your ass. 60 00:04:48,074 --> 00:04:50,702 Besides, don't you want to go to some fancy-shmancy Ivy League school? 61 00:04:50,827 --> 00:04:52,787 Guys, come on! Do we really have to start this early? 62 00:04:52,871 --> 00:04:54,622 Well, apparently, it's not my choice, Carter. 63 00:04:54,748 --> 00:04:56,624 At least Kevin will be there. Right, Kev? 64 00:04:56,708 --> 00:04:59,502 Yep. Hey, did you grab your stuff so we can split right after school today? 65 00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:01,379 Yeah. It's in my... 66 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,015 Yeah, the technique was a little off, but the timing was better. 67 00:05:12,098 --> 00:05:13,349 And by the way, she's easy, 68 00:05:13,475 --> 00:05:17,312 but not in the, like, I'm-gonna-fuck-Morris kind of way easy. 69 00:05:18,146 --> 00:05:19,564 Come on, Kev, I've got to pee. I need you to shake it. 70 00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:20,774 Carter. 71 00:05:25,195 --> 00:05:27,280 You sure you don't wanna come with us this weekend, man? 72 00:05:27,363 --> 00:05:29,491 What? There's no reason for him to come. 73 00:05:29,616 --> 00:05:33,828 You know what, Morris? I think, for the first time, you and I are on the same page. 74 00:05:33,953 --> 00:05:36,247 I don't know. Campus tours and scholarship interviews, 75 00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:37,832 sounds like a real blastie-blast. 76 00:05:37,916 --> 00:05:41,169 But I think I'd rather sock myself in the nuts. 77 00:05:41,252 --> 00:05:42,545 I mean, seriously, look at this thing. 78 00:05:42,629 --> 00:05:45,548 Like, where are all the hotties, you know? Show some skin. 79 00:05:45,632 --> 00:05:47,050 - Hey. - Hey! 80 00:05:48,134 --> 00:05:50,053 - Hey, Gina. - Hey, Gina. 81 00:05:50,678 --> 00:05:53,515 Kevin, really, just... Listen, don't take this the wrong way. 82 00:05:53,598 --> 00:05:56,643 But I need to talk to your friend outside, alone. 83 00:05:56,726 --> 00:05:58,394 Nice! Does that mean you're gonna 84 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,022 blow him underneath the bleachers? 85 00:06:02,774 --> 00:06:04,400 Yeah. That's exactly what I'm gonna do. 86 00:06:04,526 --> 00:06:07,195 Awesome! You kids have fun! High five! 87 00:06:10,532 --> 00:06:11,658 I got my high five, dude. 88 00:06:11,741 --> 00:06:13,159 Does he give you a high five like that? 89 00:06:13,243 --> 00:06:14,744 See you... 90 00:06:14,869 --> 00:06:17,121 Here's your brochure, though. Have a good weekend. 91 00:06:18,748 --> 00:06:20,124 Miami? 92 00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:24,712 - When did you apply there? - A couple months ago. 93 00:06:25,296 --> 00:06:26,381 What about us? 94 00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:28,174 I mean, what about our plans to go to Fieldmont together? 95 00:06:28,258 --> 00:06:30,552 And the campus tour this weekend? 96 00:06:30,635 --> 00:06:32,470 Just go without me. 97 00:06:33,763 --> 00:06:37,475 Look, it's senior year. 98 00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:43,398 It's, like, so exciting, and I wanna party, and I wanna have fun. 99 00:06:43,481 --> 00:06:47,277 And you're, like, not fun. 100 00:06:49,737 --> 00:06:53,700 Like, so what? So I don't drink very much, you know. We still have fun. 101 00:06:53,783 --> 00:06:55,576 Like our Friday nights at mini golf. 102 00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:56,995 Yeah, they're kind of boring. 103 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,747 Our camping trips, the school carnival, studying together? 104 00:06:59,872 --> 00:07:02,917 Standing around while you're taking pictures of everything? 105 00:07:03,042 --> 00:07:04,961 - Thrilling! - Gina... 106 00:07:05,086 --> 00:07:06,462 When we were freshmen, it was one thing. 107 00:07:06,546 --> 00:07:11,050 But this is our time to really go crazy! We're supposed to be partying. 108 00:07:11,134 --> 00:07:14,304 And you, you're just... You're a loser! 109 00:07:17,015 --> 00:07:18,725 Kevin, it's over. 110 00:07:19,225 --> 00:07:23,938 College is just around the corner, and I can't let you ruin my senior year. 111 00:07:26,524 --> 00:07:28,026 That's mine. 112 00:07:28,609 --> 00:07:30,820 Okay, so let me get this straight. 113 00:07:31,237 --> 00:07:34,699 You didn't get blown under the bleachers? 114 00:07:34,824 --> 00:07:38,328 No! Dude, have you been listening to me? She dumped me! 115 00:07:38,453 --> 00:07:40,455 I was dumped once. 116 00:07:40,538 --> 00:07:42,415 Morris, you're such a fucking liar, dude. 117 00:07:42,498 --> 00:07:45,293 - You've never even had a girlfriend. - Shut up, Carter. Yes, I did. 118 00:07:45,418 --> 00:07:47,336 Remember, Kev? You introduced me to her. 119 00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:48,588 - Right. - She was real. 120 00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:52,258 - We went to physics camp together. - Maybe more like fantasy camp. 121 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,719 Come on, you guys. Do you mind? I'm having a breakdown here. 122 00:07:54,844 --> 00:07:56,179 What am I supposed to do now? 123 00:07:56,262 --> 00:07:58,598 It was all set. First, we'd go to college together, 124 00:07:58,681 --> 00:08:01,934 and then we'd get married, have a couple kids, one girl, one boy. 125 00:08:02,018 --> 00:08:05,563 Dude, is that the kind of shit you would say to Gina? 126 00:08:05,688 --> 00:08:08,649 God! No wonder she dumped your ass. You're fucking lame. 127 00:08:09,317 --> 00:08:12,070 - What's up, fellows? - What's up, Fletcher? 128 00:08:13,112 --> 00:08:14,280 What's up with Negative Nancy over here? 129 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,240 Gina dumped him. He's having a breakdown. 130 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:20,203 Cool. So are you guys going on some sort of road trip to Fieldmont this weekend? 131 00:08:20,328 --> 00:08:22,622 - I don't think I'm going anymore. - That's too bad. 132 00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:25,249 I just went there last weekend to visit my bro. 133 00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:26,417 I almost didn't make it back. 134 00:08:26,542 --> 00:08:29,295 "Almost didn't make it back"? Dude, it's just college. 135 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,631 Yeah, yeah, just college. Yeah, see, that's what I thought, too. 136 00:08:31,714 --> 00:08:34,175 And then I went, and I'm telling you guys right now, 137 00:08:34,258 --> 00:08:37,595 it is fucking nuts, man. It's retarded. 138 00:08:38,304 --> 00:08:40,223 Why? What happened? 139 00:08:40,306 --> 00:08:42,350 You guys want to know? 140 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:45,311 Basically, this is how it went down. 141 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,979 I didn't sleep for three days, okay? 142 00:08:47,063 --> 00:08:48,439 I don't have any money left in my bank account. 143 00:08:48,564 --> 00:08:49,690 I maxed out my parents' credit card, 144 00:08:49,816 --> 00:08:51,859 which was only supposed to be used in case of an emergency. 145 00:08:51,943 --> 00:08:54,028 I lost my cell phone, which is actually my dad's cell phone. 146 00:08:54,111 --> 00:08:55,738 So he's pissed about that and the credit card. 147 00:08:55,863 --> 00:08:58,991 I tried smoking a tampon, which I thought was a big fat joint. 148 00:08:59,075 --> 00:09:01,828 Still got high. Stole a car, got in a bar fight, ate some goldfish. 149 00:09:01,911 --> 00:09:04,455 Played naked Frisbee, did some whip-its, wet my brother's bed twice. 150 00:09:04,580 --> 00:09:05,540 Shit my pants, once, 151 00:09:05,665 --> 00:09:08,251 but please don't tell anyone, 'cause I'm kind of embarrassed about that. 152 00:09:08,376 --> 00:09:12,088 Saw two girls make out. With tongue! With tongue! 153 00:09:12,255 --> 00:09:14,507 Watched my brother's roommates eat as many cheeseburgers as they could 154 00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:15,591 until one of them puked. 155 00:09:15,716 --> 00:09:17,593 Found a tattoo on my lower back of a unicorn. 156 00:09:17,718 --> 00:09:18,719 Don't remember getting that. 157 00:09:18,845 --> 00:09:20,763 Figure I'll just tell people it's some sort of killer unicorn. 158 00:09:20,888 --> 00:09:22,056 You know? So it doesn't seem so gay. 159 00:09:22,181 --> 00:09:24,725 I laughed. I cried. Fell in love. 160 00:09:25,476 --> 00:09:28,771 Yeah, and did I mention earlier that I got laid? 161 00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:31,732 Three times. Different girls, yeah. 162 00:09:31,816 --> 00:09:35,903 So all in all, I'd say it was pretty much the best weekend of my fucking life. 163 00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:37,196 Yeah. 164 00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:39,907 Dude, you should go. 165 00:09:42,285 --> 00:09:45,538 What if I could have a weekend like that, a weekend like Fletcher's? 166 00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:49,041 How? No way. Who knows if he's even telling the truth? 167 00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:51,252 Come on, man. What if he was? You heard him. 168 00:09:51,335 --> 00:09:56,215 All the craziness, the partying, the sex, the drinking, it sounds incredible. 169 00:09:57,425 --> 00:09:59,427 You know, maybe I'll even get a tattoo. 170 00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:02,263 Wait, you're joking, right? 171 00:10:02,597 --> 00:10:07,226 You got me, Kev. That's a good one. Partying, drinking, sex. Up top. 172 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:11,272 I'm not kidding, Morris. You know, maybe Gina's right, I'm no fun. 173 00:10:11,397 --> 00:10:13,733 A weekend like Fletcher's is exactly what I need. 174 00:10:13,816 --> 00:10:17,737 Kev, having some crazy weekend to get back at Gina is a really bad idea. 175 00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:20,823 Or a really good idea, and I say go for it. 176 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,369 Bitch. 177 00:10:26,245 --> 00:10:27,246 You know what? I'm gonna go for it. 178 00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:29,206 In fact, I'm gonna have a better weekend than Fletcher. 179 00:10:29,332 --> 00:10:30,458 Yes! 180 00:10:33,252 --> 00:10:34,462 Dude, I am so going. 181 00:10:35,004 --> 00:10:37,840 I gotta move 182 00:10:37,923 --> 00:10:42,011 While the streets ahead are sunny 183 00:10:42,136 --> 00:10:47,350 Fall in love with some honey Oh, mama 184 00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:51,187 I gotta move 185 00:10:53,272 --> 00:10:57,902 It's time I broke out into the open 186 00:10:58,027 --> 00:11:00,780 You know I'll settle down again some day 187 00:11:00,863 --> 00:11:03,366 Dude, this is definitely better than the brochure! 188 00:11:03,449 --> 00:11:05,242 Yeah, man, I've got a good feeling about this. 189 00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,452 Good feeling? What kind of good feeling? 190 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,370 Like your-boy-Carter's-gonna-get-laid kind of feeling? 191 00:11:08,496 --> 00:11:10,915 'Cause I have that feeling too, and I love it! 192 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,459 I don't know, man, just everything. I'm ready to have fun. 193 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:16,087 Yeah, man, good! Positive vibes. Positive vibes. 194 00:11:16,212 --> 00:11:20,633 Okay, Kev, it says here that the campus tour is at 12:30 tomorrow afternoon. 195 00:11:20,716 --> 00:11:24,804 And there's a pre-frosh reception tonight before dinner in the main... 196 00:11:24,887 --> 00:11:27,306 Okay, that's enough! That is enough. No more. 197 00:11:27,389 --> 00:11:28,432 That's our schedule for the weekend! 198 00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:32,019 Dude, Morris, fuck schedules, man! We're in college now. 199 00:11:32,103 --> 00:11:33,896 You know what that means? 200 00:11:34,021 --> 00:11:37,733 No parents! No curfew! Free fucking beer! 201 00:11:37,858 --> 00:11:40,736 It does not get any better than this! 202 00:11:41,654 --> 00:11:44,532 Except for that. Dude, slow down, slow down. 203 00:11:44,615 --> 00:11:46,700 Hey, what's up, ladies? You on your way to class? 204 00:11:46,784 --> 00:11:49,203 No. We just like carrying all these books around for fun. 205 00:11:49,286 --> 00:11:53,249 Right! A girl's got to read, huh? Awesome. 206 00:11:53,332 --> 00:11:56,252 So, look, we're in town for the weekend, and we were just kind of wondering 207 00:11:56,377 --> 00:11:58,671 if you guys could, I mean, I don't know, show us around? 208 00:11:58,754 --> 00:12:01,090 New guys, huh? What college are you visiting from? 209 00:12:01,173 --> 00:12:03,592 No, no, see, we're not in college. 210 00:12:03,717 --> 00:12:07,137 - We're actually still in high school. - What the fuck? 211 00:12:07,263 --> 00:12:08,389 - I hate you so much! - Stop it! 212 00:12:08,514 --> 00:12:10,057 You're crushing my testicles! 213 00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:12,685 - What my friend meant to say was... - Fuck off! 214 00:12:12,768 --> 00:12:15,563 All righty then. I'll see you guys later. 215 00:12:15,646 --> 00:12:18,899 Hey, green shirt, if I give you $5 right now, 216 00:12:19,024 --> 00:12:21,735 would you fart in a can and let me just keep it in my bedroom? 217 00:12:21,861 --> 00:12:23,612 I'll never open it! I promise. 218 00:12:26,824 --> 00:12:29,785 These dorms are whack. Why do we have to stay here? 219 00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,203 You don't have to, Carter. 220 00:12:31,287 --> 00:12:34,290 This is where the admissions board put me and Kevin. 221 00:12:34,373 --> 00:12:37,376 Look, I got a cousin who's a legacy in one of the fraternities. 222 00:12:37,459 --> 00:12:39,378 I'm sure if we go there, they'll hook us up. 223 00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:42,339 - Yeah, my parents would love that. - Yeah. 224 00:12:42,464 --> 00:12:46,677 Enough, you guys! Look, I don't see what's so bad about this, Carter. 225 00:12:53,809 --> 00:12:55,144 - What? - God! 226 00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,189 - Hi. - Hey, there. 227 00:12:59,315 --> 00:13:00,441 I'm Morris. 228 00:13:01,317 --> 00:13:04,486 I'm Kevin, Kevin Brewer, prospective freshman. 229 00:13:04,612 --> 00:13:07,114 We're supposed to be staying in your room this weekend. 230 00:13:07,197 --> 00:13:08,657 Right. 231 00:13:10,117 --> 00:13:13,996 Look, fellows, I'm gonna need about 20, 30 minutes to finish up here, okay? 232 00:13:14,079 --> 00:13:16,248 So just come back later. 233 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:21,920 Probably just working out. 234 00:13:22,004 --> 00:13:24,882 Yeah, he's just working out one of these. 235 00:13:28,636 --> 00:13:30,429 - Disgusting! - How's that frat house sound, guys? 236 00:13:30,512 --> 00:13:31,639 Pretty good? Awesome. 237 00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:39,772 Okay, dude, do you actually know where you're going? 238 00:13:39,855 --> 00:13:42,941 Dude, relax! It's right up here, I think. 239 00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:44,902 All right, dude, I'm not perfect, all right? 240 00:13:45,027 --> 00:13:46,653 All these Greek letters look the same to me. 241 00:13:46,779 --> 00:13:48,364 Maybe we should go back and try the dorm again. 242 00:13:48,489 --> 00:13:50,991 You shut your mouth! Shut your mouth! 243 00:13:51,116 --> 00:13:52,326 Or not. That's cool, too. 244 00:13:57,873 --> 00:14:02,461 Holy shit. Those chicks definitely weren't in the brochure. 245 00:14:02,544 --> 00:14:04,171 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 246 00:14:05,047 --> 00:14:07,132 - What's up, college girls? - Ladies. 247 00:14:07,216 --> 00:14:09,843 - I'm Morris. - Hi, Morris. 248 00:14:10,552 --> 00:14:14,390 - She said my name. - Chicks are smoking hot! Yeah. 249 00:14:16,558 --> 00:14:20,145 "Chicks are smoking hot"? Come on, real smooth, Carter. 250 00:14:22,648 --> 00:14:24,066 Yeah. Smooth. 251 00:14:24,149 --> 00:14:25,692 Whatever! All you got out was your name. 252 00:14:25,818 --> 00:14:27,361 Which she repeated back to me, I'd like to note. 253 00:14:27,486 --> 00:14:28,445 Shut up. 254 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:34,701 Jesus! 255 00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:36,954 - Nut shot. - Ten points! 256 00:14:37,079 --> 00:14:38,372 Get some. 257 00:14:38,872 --> 00:14:40,749 Shitty news, dudes. 258 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:45,546 Dean Chandler has denied our petition, and we're still on probation. 259 00:14:45,629 --> 00:14:46,797 Shit! 260 00:14:47,256 --> 00:14:50,884 I guess he's taking that whole singing thing pretty seriously. 261 00:14:51,009 --> 00:14:52,845 Looking good, Goose. 262 00:14:52,928 --> 00:14:56,348 Looks like we got another semester without any pledges. 263 00:14:56,431 --> 00:14:58,308 This fucking blows, man! 264 00:14:58,433 --> 00:15:01,937 What's the point of college if you can't have pledges? 265 00:15:02,062 --> 00:15:03,230 Shit! 266 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,608 Fuck! 267 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,486 Fuck! 268 00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:13,490 Son of a... 269 00:15:16,618 --> 00:15:19,037 That's it. This just might be the year to graduate. 270 00:15:19,121 --> 00:15:20,247 - What? - What? 271 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:22,165 - No. - Yeah, I didn't think it'd come so soon. 272 00:15:22,291 --> 00:15:24,918 You can't graduate. You're Bearcat. 273 00:15:25,043 --> 00:15:27,004 - You're an institution. - I know. 274 00:15:27,129 --> 00:15:29,089 I'm scared to graduate. 275 00:15:29,214 --> 00:15:32,426 It seems like torturing pledges, that's all I'm good at. 276 00:15:32,551 --> 00:15:34,803 That's not true, and you know that. 277 00:15:34,928 --> 00:15:39,182 You're good at a lot of things. Cooper, tell him what he's good at. 278 00:15:40,309 --> 00:15:44,062 Like... Like the keg toss. 279 00:15:45,314 --> 00:15:47,274 And you take the biggest dumps in the house. Right? 280 00:15:47,357 --> 00:15:51,111 Yeah. Nobody beats you at that. It's like a real gift. 281 00:15:51,194 --> 00:15:54,740 It is, isn't it? Thanks, guys. I feel a lot better. 282 00:15:55,657 --> 00:15:57,784 - Hang in there, big guy. - You're all right. 283 00:15:57,910 --> 00:15:59,453 Hang in there. 284 00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:07,294 We'll figure this whole pledge thing out, I promise. 285 00:16:19,806 --> 00:16:22,476 Hey, man, is this the Beta Phi house? 286 00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:24,811 What? You can't read Greek? 287 00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:26,980 My cousin is a legacy here. 288 00:16:27,064 --> 00:16:29,399 - Yeah? Who's your cousin? - Toby Scott. 289 00:16:29,524 --> 00:16:31,068 You mean Queef? 290 00:16:32,527 --> 00:16:34,112 - What? - Queef. 291 00:16:34,946 --> 00:16:37,366 - What's a queef? - A pussy fart. 292 00:16:38,116 --> 00:16:39,701 It's his pledge name. 293 00:16:39,826 --> 00:16:42,329 - Who'd want that name? - Yeah, he earned it. 294 00:16:42,454 --> 00:16:47,250 I'd like to help you guys out, with you being his cousin and everything, but... 295 00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:50,003 Hey! Wait, wait, wait, wait! 296 00:16:50,087 --> 00:16:52,673 Come on, man. Look, we're in high school, you know? 297 00:16:52,798 --> 00:16:55,842 We're just up here to party, you know? Is that too much to ask? 298 00:16:55,926 --> 00:16:59,346 You guys are a bunch of high school kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 299 00:16:59,429 --> 00:17:01,640 No, okay? Go try the dorms. 300 00:17:05,185 --> 00:17:07,687 - A legacy, dude? - Yeah, he's... I... 301 00:17:07,813 --> 00:17:10,857 I can't believe they call Toby "Queef." Toby kicks ass. 302 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,028 What did those guys want? 303 00:17:15,112 --> 00:17:19,366 A couple of high school kids looking to crash here for the weekend. 304 00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:22,327 One of them was Queef's cousin. Remember him? 305 00:17:22,411 --> 00:17:26,623 God, that guy could toss a salad. That thing he did with his tongue? 306 00:17:27,624 --> 00:17:29,793 Sorry. That guy's a loser. 307 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:33,046 So, they're looking for a place to crash, huh? 308 00:17:35,132 --> 00:17:37,759 - Maybe we should let them stay. - What, are you serious? 309 00:17:37,884 --> 00:17:38,885 What the hell are we gonna do with a bunch 310 00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,930 of fucking high school kids here all weekend? 311 00:17:44,683 --> 00:17:47,018 Brothers. - Do it, man! 312 00:17:47,519 --> 00:17:49,521 - Listen up. - Boner. 313 00:17:49,604 --> 00:17:51,690 Goose, shut the fuck up. 314 00:17:54,276 --> 00:17:56,611 These guys. What's your names? 315 00:17:57,195 --> 00:17:59,030 I'm Kevin, and this is Morris and Carter. 316 00:17:59,114 --> 00:18:01,741 Okay, whatever. These guys are our guests for the weekend. 317 00:18:03,201 --> 00:18:06,079 Well, see, technically, we're supposed to stay in the dorms, 318 00:18:06,163 --> 00:18:08,206 but our roommate's a little... 319 00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:09,583 Technically, you're a fag! ...preoccupied. 320 00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:11,126 Yeah, he's jerking off. 321 00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:13,920 Pussy! Fuck hole! Did we say you could talk? 322 00:18:14,045 --> 00:18:17,841 Bearcat! Relax, big man. They didn't mean anything by it. 323 00:18:19,759 --> 00:18:22,637 Sorry. He's got anger management issues. 324 00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:24,639 How about I show you guys where you are staying? 325 00:18:24,764 --> 00:18:26,141 Put your stuff away? 326 00:18:26,224 --> 00:18:27,934 - Morris, do you like the sound of that? - Party! 327 00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:30,270 Party! Party! Party! - Party! Party! Party! 328 00:18:30,353 --> 00:18:32,439 - Party! Party! Party! - Party! Party! Party! 329 00:18:32,522 --> 00:18:34,566 - Party! Party! Party! - Party! Party! Party! 330 00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:36,443 - Party! Party! Party! - Party! Party! Party! 331 00:18:37,402 --> 00:18:38,528 What's up, shit face? 332 00:18:38,653 --> 00:18:41,489 This is usually where we let our pledges stay. 333 00:18:41,615 --> 00:18:46,620 We call this room the dungeon, but don't let the name scare you. 334 00:18:48,163 --> 00:18:50,040 You're gonna love it. 335 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,255 Watch the step. 336 00:19:14,397 --> 00:19:16,524 Yeah, this place fucking sucks. 337 00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:18,985 Dude, it beats some guy jerking, all right? 338 00:19:19,069 --> 00:19:22,405 Like we said, all of our guest rooms are taken tonight. 339 00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:25,617 Yeah. We feel really bad about having to put you guys down here. 340 00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:29,245 - Is that a rat? - A rat? No. Probably just a shadow. 341 00:19:29,371 --> 00:19:30,955 And don't you guys worry. 342 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:33,958 We're gonna give you the 411 on all the great parties this weekend. 343 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:38,463 In fact, I think that the Lambdas are having a kegger tonight. 344 00:19:38,546 --> 00:19:41,049 Keggers? We love keggers. Right, Kev? Keggers, keggers! 345 00:19:41,174 --> 00:19:42,550 We are all about keggers. 346 00:19:42,676 --> 00:19:45,970 Cool. Well, you guys are gonna love the Lambdas. 347 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,103 Bearcat! 348 00:19:55,563 --> 00:19:57,524 - What the fuck is up with that... - Are you talking? 349 00:19:57,649 --> 00:20:01,194 - No, man. I'm chilling. What? - Yeah. Shut the fuck up. 350 00:20:05,573 --> 00:20:07,033 So excited! 351 00:20:07,117 --> 00:20:10,787 All right, guys. This is it. Party time. 352 00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:13,790 Let's do the rundown. Rubbers? 353 00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:16,084 Check. 354 00:20:16,209 --> 00:20:17,877 Breath mints? 355 00:20:21,381 --> 00:20:22,674 Check. 356 00:20:22,757 --> 00:20:24,134 Retainers? 357 00:20:27,554 --> 00:20:31,057 I was kidding. That's so fucking gross. Put that away. 358 00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:36,813 - So, you guys sure about this? - Relax, man. It's just a frat party. 359 00:20:37,355 --> 00:20:38,857 What? 360 00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:41,359 What? We're here to learn about college, right? 361 00:20:41,443 --> 00:20:43,736 God, I love the new attitude, Kevin. It looks good on you, man. 362 00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,572 It makes your eyes pop and your hair shine. 363 00:20:45,655 --> 00:20:49,367 It makes your shirt look better. Good times. Good times. All right, guys. 364 00:20:49,451 --> 00:20:53,413 Hold onto your socks, because this is going to be awesome. 365 00:20:55,999 --> 00:20:59,377 Hey, guys! Come on in! The kegs are full and the Jacuzzi's hot! 366 00:20:59,461 --> 00:21:00,587 Yeah! 367 00:21:01,254 --> 00:21:02,422 Party! 368 00:21:03,006 --> 00:21:04,174 Yeah! 369 00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:09,304 What's up? Going on? Ladies? 370 00:21:13,975 --> 00:21:15,810 There's a lot of dudes here, right? 371 00:21:15,935 --> 00:21:18,354 Yeah. It's a total sausage fest. 372 00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:21,149 Check it out! 373 00:21:21,274 --> 00:21:24,777 These guys are so drunk they're making out with each other. 374 00:21:24,903 --> 00:21:26,279 Morris, I don't think they're drunk. 375 00:21:26,362 --> 00:21:28,740 Who wants to play glow-in-the-dark boners now? 376 00:21:29,949 --> 00:21:32,493 It's boner tag! It's boner tag! 377 00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:43,755 Why would they send us to an all-gay fraternity? Do we look gay? 378 00:21:43,838 --> 00:21:48,176 Maybe they found out how many times you've been laid and just assumed. 379 00:21:48,301 --> 00:21:49,469 Real funny, Carter. 380 00:21:49,552 --> 00:21:54,182 Look, my cousin's a legacy. I doubt they're gonna do that to us on purpose. 381 00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:58,895 Don't worry! That was not full of my piss or anything. 382 00:22:00,230 --> 00:22:01,940 Just Bearcat's. 383 00:22:02,023 --> 00:22:03,149 Yeah! 384 00:22:03,232 --> 00:22:05,985 Hey, how was the party? Did you guys find any dates? 385 00:22:06,069 --> 00:22:08,029 Yeah, real funny, guys. We almost got jumped back there. 386 00:22:08,154 --> 00:22:11,157 Watch your step, pre-frosh! This ain't high school! 387 00:22:11,282 --> 00:22:13,993 Welcome to college, boys. Enjoy. 388 00:22:16,871 --> 00:22:17,872 Crap. 389 00:22:19,248 --> 00:22:22,085 Don't talk about it 390 00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:26,089 Oh, boy, don't talk about it 391 00:22:26,214 --> 00:22:30,051 If you do, I'll die 392 00:22:37,475 --> 00:22:39,352 Holy shit! This is insane! 393 00:22:39,435 --> 00:22:42,188 No, man. This is fucking college. 394 00:22:45,775 --> 00:22:48,403 God bless America for such a place! 395 00:22:49,404 --> 00:22:51,322 Let's rock this bitch. 396 00:22:59,747 --> 00:23:02,583 Hey! Hey! Hey! What's up, fellows? 397 00:23:03,251 --> 00:23:07,255 Look, we feel like absolute shit for what happened earlier. 398 00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:11,759 - Yeah. We think you guys are cool. - Yeah. It was just a joke. 399 00:23:11,843 --> 00:23:15,096 We weren't trying to be like assholes or anything. 400 00:23:15,763 --> 00:23:16,764 Let us make it up to you. 401 00:23:16,889 --> 00:23:18,307 We're gonna go do some body shots. 402 00:23:18,433 --> 00:23:21,561 And we would love it if you guys would come with us. 403 00:23:21,644 --> 00:23:23,104 Dude, we are so down! 404 00:23:23,229 --> 00:23:25,732 Actually, you know what? I just filled up, so I'm cool. 405 00:23:25,857 --> 00:23:28,568 Yeah, I think I'm gonna take a pass, too. 406 00:23:29,736 --> 00:23:32,238 Lame and lamer. 407 00:23:34,365 --> 00:23:37,368 Just saying, man, I guess Gina was right. 408 00:23:40,121 --> 00:23:41,497 Dude, where's the bathroom? 409 00:23:41,622 --> 00:23:45,126 All right. All right, you know what? Fuck it! I'm in. 410 00:23:47,211 --> 00:23:49,589 - Bottle. - This is awesome. 411 00:23:55,011 --> 00:23:56,262 Salt. 412 00:23:59,432 --> 00:24:00,641 Limes. 413 00:24:03,811 --> 00:24:05,188 And lube. 414 00:24:06,898 --> 00:24:08,399 - What the hell is that for? - Just in case. 415 00:24:08,483 --> 00:24:13,112 We probably won't need it. You guys... You guys are gonna love this. 416 00:24:13,237 --> 00:24:15,198 Where did the girls go? 417 00:24:15,323 --> 00:24:16,282 Unfortunately, 418 00:24:17,617 --> 00:24:19,035 the girls had to go home early. 419 00:24:20,369 --> 00:24:23,164 So who are we doing body shots off of? 420 00:24:23,289 --> 00:24:26,292 - Great question, Mike. - Morris. 421 00:24:26,417 --> 00:24:29,795 Bearcat was nice enough to take their place. 422 00:24:29,879 --> 00:24:31,339 Bearcat? 423 00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:35,301 Yeah! 424 00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:51,025 That's right, motherfuckers! 425 00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:53,069 - Okay, we're outta here, let's go. - Yeah. 426 00:24:53,194 --> 00:24:54,362 Where are you guys going? 427 00:24:54,487 --> 00:24:58,783 Yeah, we thought you guys were cool. We thought you wanted to party. 428 00:24:58,866 --> 00:25:00,618 Guess we were wrong. 429 00:25:00,701 --> 00:25:04,497 Well, have fun back at the dorm, you fucking pussies. 430 00:25:58,634 --> 00:26:00,970 Do it! Do it! Do it! - Do it! Do it! Do it! 431 00:26:01,095 --> 00:26:03,431 - Do it! Do it! Do it! - Do it! Do it! Do it! 432 00:26:03,556 --> 00:26:06,017 - Do it! Do it! Do it! - Do it! Do it! Do it! 433 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,935 Do that shot! - Yeah! 434 00:26:08,060 --> 00:26:09,562 Do that shot! Do it! 435 00:26:13,315 --> 00:26:14,775 Watch this! 436 00:26:28,622 --> 00:26:30,499 You are my best friend! 437 00:26:30,624 --> 00:26:33,169 All the girls and the boys And people making noise 438 00:26:33,294 --> 00:26:34,420 Just let me hear you shout 439 00:26:34,545 --> 00:26:36,255 Bring them out Bring them out 440 00:26:36,338 --> 00:26:39,008 Everything's spinning around me. I'm drunk right now. 441 00:26:39,133 --> 00:26:42,595 Doing shots of tequila out of some guy's ass crack will do that to you. 442 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,181 Whatever, man. You guys are lightweights. I don't feel shit! 443 00:26:45,306 --> 00:26:46,891 Is that a fat joke, you bitch? 444 00:26:46,974 --> 00:26:48,893 - Here! Video me! - Okay. 445 00:26:50,686 --> 00:26:53,647 Yeah, wait till Gina sees this! Party! 446 00:26:58,569 --> 00:27:00,529 Party! 447 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,704 Pump up your fist If you twist like this 448 00:27:08,829 --> 00:27:09,955 Till the lights go out 449 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,290 Bring them out Bring them out 450 00:27:12,666 --> 00:27:14,668 Katie 451 00:27:14,752 --> 00:27:17,505 I don't know why I even try 452 00:27:17,630 --> 00:27:19,798 'Cause lately 453 00:27:19,924 --> 00:27:22,510 You're always out with other guys 454 00:27:22,635 --> 00:27:25,054 Pretty baby 455 00:27:25,179 --> 00:27:27,640 Don't you know I'll treat you right 456 00:27:27,765 --> 00:27:30,267 I'll go crazy 457 00:27:30,351 --> 00:27:33,646 If you pass me up tonight 458 00:27:33,896 --> 00:27:36,315 Hey, hey, hey, hey 459 00:27:36,398 --> 00:27:38,734 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey 460 00:27:38,859 --> 00:27:41,278 All this time can't get it off my mind 461 00:27:41,362 --> 00:27:42,988 Dance the night away 462 00:27:43,113 --> 00:27:44,073 Keep rocking with me 463 00:27:44,198 --> 00:27:46,450 When the grooves all right Rocking all night 464 00:27:46,534 --> 00:27:48,619 I want to hear you say 465 00:27:48,953 --> 00:27:51,497 All the girls and the boys And people making noise 466 00:27:51,580 --> 00:27:52,873 Just let me hear you shout 467 00:27:52,998 --> 00:27:54,291 Bring them out Bring them out 468 00:27:54,375 --> 00:27:56,669 All the girls and the boys And people making noise 469 00:27:56,794 --> 00:27:58,337 Just let me hear you shout 470 00:27:58,462 --> 00:27:59,505 Bring them out Bring them out 471 00:27:59,630 --> 00:28:01,507 Pump up your fist If you twist like this 472 00:28:03,342 --> 00:28:03,842 Till the lights go out 473 00:28:03,968 --> 00:28:04,927 Bring them out Bring them out 474 00:28:05,052 --> 00:28:06,720 Wake up 475 00:28:06,845 --> 00:28:09,515 I'm calling you up I need a ride 476 00:28:09,598 --> 00:28:11,725 We're gonna shake up 477 00:28:11,850 --> 00:28:14,561 So hurry it up, no wasted time 478 00:28:14,687 --> 00:28:17,731 The girls in their makeup In black and white 479 00:28:17,856 --> 00:28:20,067 Exchanging looks tonight 480 00:28:20,192 --> 00:28:23,070 I just ran into some other friends of mine 481 00:28:23,153 --> 00:28:25,572 Someone's coming round To pick them up at nine 482 00:28:25,698 --> 00:28:28,200 All the girls and the boys And people making noise 483 00:28:28,325 --> 00:28:29,326 Just let me hear you shout 484 00:28:29,410 --> 00:28:30,953 Bring them out Bring them out 485 00:28:32,621 --> 00:28:33,622 Fuck yeah! 486 00:28:51,001 --> 00:28:52,252 Drink! 487 00:28:53,795 --> 00:28:56,965 - Sorry. What? - I made the shot. Now you drink. 488 00:28:57,090 --> 00:28:59,634 Yeah, yeah, right. Cool. All right. 489 00:29:04,472 --> 00:29:07,183 - So when do I get a turn? - When I miss. 490 00:29:08,852 --> 00:29:10,645 You kids having fun? 491 00:29:12,689 --> 00:29:14,899 What? I can't play? 492 00:29:16,651 --> 00:29:21,281 What do you say we wrap up this game and bring it up to my room? 493 00:29:21,823 --> 00:29:23,116 Minus the dickhead. 494 00:29:23,241 --> 00:29:25,285 Yeah. I think I'll pass. 495 00:29:30,707 --> 00:29:33,668 Could I get the beer? No? Later? Well, okay. 496 00:29:34,961 --> 00:29:37,505 - What an a-hole. - Tell me about it. 497 00:29:37,964 --> 00:29:39,841 Anyway, where were we? 498 00:29:42,177 --> 00:29:43,386 Nice. 499 00:29:45,847 --> 00:29:48,850 Nitrous in the hizzie! Who wants a balloon? 500 00:29:51,186 --> 00:29:53,688 Granola Bar! Can I have one, please? 501 00:29:53,771 --> 00:29:55,982 Whoa, whoa, whoa! The lady needs a balloon. 502 00:29:56,065 --> 00:29:57,901 There you go, darling, that one's just for you. 503 00:29:58,026 --> 00:30:00,028 - I'm gonna sit. - All right. 504 00:30:03,865 --> 00:30:07,827 Hey, here you go. Have a balloon. 505 00:30:07,911 --> 00:30:10,705 This balloon's for you! Have a balloon! 506 00:30:12,373 --> 00:30:13,666 No, no. 507 00:30:14,792 --> 00:30:19,464 You have to inhale it. It makes chicks crazy horny, like her. 508 00:30:19,881 --> 00:30:21,132 Wow. 509 00:30:24,936 --> 00:30:26,729 Feel the flow. 510 00:30:30,608 --> 00:30:35,321 Hey, I saw a laundry room back there. You want to go make out or something? 511 00:30:35,905 --> 00:30:38,783 - Oh, my God! Are you serious? - Yeah. 512 00:30:38,908 --> 00:30:42,829 I haven't heard a line like that since, like, high school. Later. 513 00:30:43,788 --> 00:30:45,665 You've got flat tits! 514 00:30:46,708 --> 00:30:47,917 Do you mind? 515 00:30:48,001 --> 00:30:51,796 What? Yeah, absolutely. Have a... Have a sip. 516 00:30:54,549 --> 00:30:57,677 Or down the whole thing. That's cool. Whatever. 517 00:31:06,269 --> 00:31:09,605 I'm so getting laid. Excuse me. Excuse me! 518 00:31:10,023 --> 00:31:11,566 Excuse me. Excuse me! 519 00:31:11,649 --> 00:31:13,276 What's up? How's it going? 520 00:31:13,401 --> 00:31:15,778 Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! 521 00:31:15,862 --> 00:31:17,780 You're bigger than me. Excuse me! Excuse me! 522 00:31:27,999 --> 00:31:29,667 This is awesome! 523 00:31:40,887 --> 00:31:43,097 Wait. What was that? 524 00:31:45,224 --> 00:31:47,560 Shit! I think someone's coming. 525 00:31:51,022 --> 00:31:52,065 - No, no, no. The bed, the bed! - What? 526 00:31:52,190 --> 00:31:53,274 - I'm not gonna fit under there! - You'll fit! 527 00:31:53,357 --> 00:31:56,152 - I will not fit under this bed. - Get under! 528 00:32:01,074 --> 00:32:03,076 Are you sure this room's okay? 529 00:32:03,201 --> 00:32:06,788 It's fine. Relax, okay? Everyone's downstairs. 530 00:32:07,205 --> 00:32:09,582 - Are you sure? - Yeah. Positive. 531 00:32:09,957 --> 00:32:13,294 I'm just a little nervous, you know? I've never really been with a girl before. 532 00:32:13,753 --> 00:32:18,257 Don't worry. I'll be gentle. I promise. 533 00:32:35,399 --> 00:32:38,528 Morris, maybe it's because I'm really high right now, 534 00:32:38,611 --> 00:32:40,905 but I will just go for this. 535 00:32:40,988 --> 00:32:43,407 Go for what? You want another... 536 00:32:54,293 --> 00:32:58,422 Sorry. Your hand is down my pants. 537 00:32:58,506 --> 00:33:00,424 I know. Just relax. 538 00:33:01,717 --> 00:33:03,094 Sweet! 539 00:33:04,387 --> 00:33:07,139 Oh, God! That feels so good! 540 00:33:07,932 --> 00:33:11,519 - Your hands are like butter! - Are like butter. 541 00:33:12,812 --> 00:33:16,107 You know, normally, I'd be doing this to myself, 542 00:33:16,816 --> 00:33:19,151 but this is way better. 543 00:33:19,235 --> 00:33:22,655 Plus, I don't have to worry about my mom walking in, and... 544 00:33:29,328 --> 00:33:31,789 Heather? Hello? 545 00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:36,210 Damn it! So close! 546 00:33:48,421 --> 00:33:49,672 Cop! 547 00:33:51,507 --> 00:33:52,883 - What's your problem? - Hey, come on. 548 00:33:53,009 --> 00:33:54,719 - Run! - Who is that? 549 00:33:56,887 --> 00:33:59,682 Party's busted! Everybody run! 550 00:34:04,270 --> 00:34:05,646 That sucks. 551 00:34:13,779 --> 00:34:15,197 That feels so good. 552 00:34:15,323 --> 00:34:18,075 I almost forgot. - You carry that with you? 553 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,411 They don't call it a pocket rocket for nothing. 554 00:34:26,459 --> 00:34:27,877 You got it? 555 00:34:28,836 --> 00:34:31,297 Yeah. I got it. Where were we? 556 00:34:37,845 --> 00:34:40,306 I didn't know you were so kinky. 557 00:34:45,519 --> 00:34:46,687 Yeah! 558 00:34:47,646 --> 00:34:49,648 Kiss me. Kiss me now. 559 00:34:49,732 --> 00:34:51,984 Really? - Kiss me! 560 00:34:52,068 --> 00:34:53,819 Do it! 561 00:34:53,903 --> 00:34:56,572 - What was that? - I didn't hear anything. 562 00:34:56,697 --> 00:34:59,200 Are you sure? - Yeah. Just relax. 563 00:34:59,784 --> 00:35:02,244 What the fuck do you know about welfare reform? 564 00:35:02,328 --> 00:35:04,830 Come on down and check it out. 565 00:35:17,593 --> 00:35:22,056 So, I don't really know what this means, 566 00:35:23,307 --> 00:35:27,561 but Amy says that she's under the bed with your friend Carter. 567 00:35:30,106 --> 00:35:32,441 - Should I be worried? - Yeah, definitely. 568 00:35:32,525 --> 00:35:34,068 Okay. 569 00:35:34,151 --> 00:35:37,029 Wait a second. Why aren't they on top of the bed? 570 00:35:37,113 --> 00:35:39,115 That's a good question. 571 00:35:41,742 --> 00:35:44,578 So what are you guys? Freshmen? 572 00:35:46,455 --> 00:35:49,291 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we're freshmen. Yep. 573 00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:51,043 What's your major? 574 00:35:51,126 --> 00:35:53,003 Uh... 575 00:35:53,128 --> 00:35:55,589 - Photography. - Really? 576 00:35:56,298 --> 00:36:00,803 I love photography. I really suck, but that's cool. 577 00:36:00,928 --> 00:36:02,638 I heard they have a really great program here. 578 00:36:02,763 --> 00:36:05,307 Yeah. It's supposed to be one of the best in the country. 579 00:36:05,432 --> 00:36:08,018 Maybe you can give me a lesson sometime. 580 00:36:08,143 --> 00:36:09,645 Yeah, sure. 581 00:36:14,483 --> 00:36:15,985 That was so hot. 582 00:36:16,110 --> 00:36:17,778 Please tell me you're as horny as I am right now. 583 00:36:17,862 --> 00:36:18,863 - Hornier. - Good. 584 00:36:18,988 --> 00:36:20,155 What's up, man? 585 00:36:20,281 --> 00:36:24,201 Wow, motherfucker, I can't believe we did that shit last night. 586 00:36:38,465 --> 00:36:39,883 What the... 587 00:36:41,510 --> 00:36:43,345 Christmas came early! 588 00:36:55,858 --> 00:36:59,153 - Here we are. - Yep. Here we are. 589 00:37:00,321 --> 00:37:03,365 You know, you're different than most college guys. 590 00:37:03,490 --> 00:37:07,286 Well, you know, I don't even really feel like a college guy. 591 00:37:08,078 --> 00:37:10,998 Yeah. I could tell. But it's a good thing. 592 00:37:15,961 --> 00:37:18,422 - Maybe I'll see you around. - Yeah. 593 00:37:19,340 --> 00:37:21,675 - I hope so. - Okay. Bye. 594 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,427 In the night sky 595 00:37:25,054 --> 00:37:28,057 In the night sky 596 00:37:29,183 --> 00:37:32,102 In the night sky 597 00:37:37,399 --> 00:37:42,154 In the night sky It used to be home 598 00:37:45,199 --> 00:37:47,034 - Kevin! - Jesus, what? 599 00:37:48,202 --> 00:37:49,578 What do you want? 600 00:38:21,443 --> 00:38:24,571 Morris. Wake up, sleepy. 601 00:38:33,288 --> 00:38:35,999 Holy shit. Did we... 602 00:38:36,125 --> 00:38:38,460 Heck, yeah! All night long. 603 00:38:39,628 --> 00:38:41,046 Give it to me again, big boy! 604 00:38:41,130 --> 00:38:43,757 This is the greatest day of my life. 605 00:38:45,801 --> 00:38:49,513 Hey, Dad. Dad! What are you doing here? 606 00:38:49,638 --> 00:38:54,977 You missed your interview, Morris. You blew it, the scholarship, Fieldmont, 607 00:38:56,311 --> 00:38:57,771 everything. 608 00:39:07,656 --> 00:39:08,907 Shit! 609 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,787 The interview! 610 00:39:24,506 --> 00:39:25,799 Give it up 611 00:39:29,011 --> 00:39:30,345 Give it up 612 00:39:33,599 --> 00:39:34,892 Give it up 613 00:39:38,186 --> 00:39:39,146 Give it up 614 00:39:45,652 --> 00:39:48,238 Apparently, Mr. Hooper's a no-show. 615 00:39:52,910 --> 00:39:54,369 Thank God! 616 00:39:55,537 --> 00:39:58,415 You're still here. I'm sorry I'm late. 617 00:40:03,211 --> 00:40:08,050 Now, behind me is the bronze statue of a revolutionary war hero, 618 00:40:08,133 --> 00:40:10,385 General W.S. Fieldmont. 619 00:40:10,510 --> 00:40:14,306 It has become one of the most sacred landmarks of our time. 620 00:40:16,475 --> 00:40:20,312 My life is over. My parents are gonna disown me. 621 00:40:20,395 --> 00:40:25,275 - Dude, they probably didn't even notice. - Didn't notice? Did you see my face? 622 00:40:26,693 --> 00:40:29,696 Yeah, dude, I did. That shit was so funny. 623 00:40:29,780 --> 00:40:33,408 Whatever, dude. Just kiss the scholarship bye-bye and move on. 624 00:40:33,533 --> 00:40:34,910 And where the hell is Kevin, by the way? 625 00:40:35,035 --> 00:40:37,496 You know, he should've been here by now. This is his campus tour. 626 00:40:37,579 --> 00:40:41,458 He probably just hooked up last night. At least someone did. 627 00:40:42,417 --> 00:40:44,544 You don't think something happened to him, do you? 628 00:40:44,670 --> 00:40:48,256 Dude, it's college. What could possibly happen to him? 629 00:41:09,653 --> 00:41:14,116 Looking good, Kev. A lot hairier than I thought you'd be. 630 00:41:19,830 --> 00:41:22,165 - Check it out. - Hey! 631 00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:24,918 - Nice diaper! - Looking good, buddy! 632 00:41:28,964 --> 00:41:31,299 Okay. This is really embarrassing. 633 00:41:31,383 --> 00:41:33,802 Yeah, it's not really the highlight of my day either, Carter. 634 00:41:33,885 --> 00:41:35,137 Why would they do this to you? 635 00:41:35,262 --> 00:41:40,058 I don't know. Because they can, I guess. There's some clothes in my car. Try... 636 00:41:48,650 --> 00:41:49,901 Maybe we should just go home. 637 00:41:49,985 --> 00:41:51,736 We're not going anywhere, all right? Not yet. 638 00:41:51,820 --> 00:41:54,239 Why not? What are you trying to prove? 639 00:41:54,322 --> 00:41:57,784 I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm just trying to have fun. 640 00:41:57,909 --> 00:42:00,579 Amen to that! God, I love the new Kevin! 641 00:42:00,662 --> 00:42:02,372 You call this having a good time? 642 00:42:02,497 --> 00:42:05,876 I'll get back at them. It could have been worse. 643 00:42:06,001 --> 00:42:08,837 What could be worse than getting duct-taped naked to a statue all night? 644 00:42:09,171 --> 00:42:12,674 Hey, what's up, Gina? It's that boring guy you dumped! 645 00:42:12,799 --> 00:42:14,509 Fieldmont rocks! 646 00:42:25,187 --> 00:42:27,105 Dude, maybe the message didn't even send. 647 00:42:27,189 --> 00:42:29,816 You know what? Whatever, I'm kind of hoping it did. 648 00:42:29,941 --> 00:42:33,361 Really? Well, in that case, let's do like a whole Kevin party series. 649 00:42:33,445 --> 00:42:35,238 - We'll post it online... - Yeah, dude, don't push it. 650 00:42:35,363 --> 00:42:36,489 Okay. 651 00:42:39,367 --> 00:42:42,037 Come on, Morris. Being stuck here isn't the worst thing. 652 00:42:42,162 --> 00:42:44,664 You know, I mean, it's probably for the best. 653 00:42:44,748 --> 00:42:45,957 How's it for the best? 654 00:42:46,041 --> 00:42:48,460 Because if you went home now, you know exactly what would happen. 655 00:42:48,543 --> 00:42:52,005 Yeah! Your parents would go ape-shit on your ass for blowing the big interview. 656 00:42:52,130 --> 00:42:54,549 And now at least you could probably talk to that Dean Chandler guy. 657 00:42:54,633 --> 00:42:56,635 You know, explain what happened. 658 00:42:56,718 --> 00:42:58,428 You really think that would work? 659 00:42:58,553 --> 00:43:00,722 I think it's worth a shot. What do you have to lose? 660 00:43:00,847 --> 00:43:02,015 And you may see that Heather chick again 661 00:43:02,098 --> 00:43:04,643 and get more than a half hand job. 662 00:43:06,394 --> 00:43:08,730 I think he'll definitely see her again. 663 00:43:12,317 --> 00:43:13,735 Yeah. 664 00:43:40,261 --> 00:43:45,266 By the way, I sort of accidentally told Kendall we were in college last night. 665 00:44:24,359 --> 00:44:26,486 Looks like those high school fuckers aren't as stupid as we thought. 666 00:44:26,611 --> 00:44:28,530 They got front row seats to nipple city. 667 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,496 Motherfuckers! 668 00:44:38,039 --> 00:44:40,041 It's part of the whole sorority experience. 669 00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:43,712 Fraternities throw parties, and we have charity events. 670 00:44:43,795 --> 00:44:45,672 Nice! Are any of them naked? 671 00:44:46,881 --> 00:44:49,968 All right, bitches, you're up! This isn't social hour! 672 00:44:50,093 --> 00:44:51,845 So I guess you better go, huh? 673 00:44:51,970 --> 00:44:53,888 Yeah, but maybe if you're lucky, 674 00:44:53,972 --> 00:44:56,724 we'll let you guys buy us a few beers tonight at Bruno's. 675 00:44:56,808 --> 00:44:58,643 - What's that? - A bar. 676 00:44:59,144 --> 00:45:01,896 Wait. You guys do go to bars, right? 677 00:45:03,064 --> 00:45:06,985 - Bars? Yeah. All the time. - Every day. I'm always at the bar. 678 00:45:07,527 --> 00:45:10,029 Just make sure you bring this guy. 679 00:45:10,488 --> 00:45:12,031 - This guy? - Me? 680 00:45:12,157 --> 00:45:13,408 Yeah, you. 681 00:45:13,491 --> 00:45:17,120 Last night was the first frat party I actually enjoyed. 682 00:45:17,245 --> 00:45:18,872 Because of me? 683 00:45:19,164 --> 00:45:22,625 - Okay. - Well, we'll see you guys tonight then. 684 00:45:24,627 --> 00:45:27,922 Hey, I was thinking maybe we could, you know, 685 00:45:28,006 --> 00:45:29,883 finish what we started last night. 686 00:45:30,008 --> 00:45:33,219 Maybe. Just try not to pass out on me this time. 687 00:45:37,056 --> 00:45:38,141 God, that girl fucking rocks. 688 00:45:42,020 --> 00:45:43,062 - Kev? - Yeah? 689 00:45:43,188 --> 00:45:49,235 On a scale of one to ten, I like boobies at, like, 9,000. Seriously. 690 00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,279 What's up, fellows? 691 00:45:51,988 --> 00:45:52,989 Hey, Kevin! 692 00:45:53,072 --> 00:45:57,493 Heard you and the General got a little cozy last night. Jesus Christ! 693 00:45:58,119 --> 00:46:00,163 Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one, Teague. 694 00:46:00,246 --> 00:46:04,209 Hey, I don't suppose you know what happened to my car, do you? 695 00:46:08,296 --> 00:46:10,757 - So that's how it's gonna be, Teague? - That's right, pre-frosh. 696 00:46:10,882 --> 00:46:13,801 In fact, we got a job for you three douche bags. 697 00:46:13,885 --> 00:46:15,970 What kind of job? 698 00:46:16,054 --> 00:46:20,183 Nothing much. We're just gonna need you to clean the house for our party tonight. 699 00:46:20,266 --> 00:46:24,562 Maybe wash my car. You know how I like to keep my ride clean. 700 00:46:24,687 --> 00:46:26,940 Where did I put them keys? 701 00:46:37,575 --> 00:46:41,245 - Fuck that! No! - Am I sensing some hostility? 702 00:46:41,371 --> 00:46:42,413 Wait, are you guys serious? 703 00:46:42,538 --> 00:46:43,957 Well, you guys didn't think your room and board 704 00:46:44,082 --> 00:46:45,416 were gonna be free here, did you? 705 00:46:45,541 --> 00:46:47,585 We're not cleaning your house! No fucking way! 706 00:46:47,710 --> 00:46:50,505 Well, maybe your little girlfriends over there would like to find out 707 00:46:50,588 --> 00:46:52,966 you guys are still in high school. 708 00:46:53,091 --> 00:46:54,425 How do you know we didn't already tell them? 709 00:46:54,550 --> 00:46:59,013 Because if you did, they wouldn't be giving you the time of day, you little dicks. 710 00:46:59,097 --> 00:47:01,516 Better get to work now, boys! 711 00:47:01,599 --> 00:47:03,309 Pick the keys up. 712 00:47:06,854 --> 00:47:07,981 Boom! 713 00:47:10,858 --> 00:47:13,569 And Kevin? Kevy? 714 00:47:15,071 --> 00:47:16,864 Don't waste your time with Kendall. 715 00:47:16,948 --> 00:47:19,242 You don't want my sloppy seconds, do you? 716 00:47:19,325 --> 00:47:22,787 Unless you're into that? You fucking sicko! Go inside. 717 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:32,505 Dude, why do we have to clean? Don't they got pledges to do this shit? 718 00:47:32,630 --> 00:47:35,591 Dude, I think this weekend we are the pledges. 719 00:47:49,647 --> 00:47:51,691 Don't let them take it all away 720 00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:58,489 I'm down on my luck I'm out on the streets 721 00:47:58,614 --> 00:48:01,033 I'm at wit's end I've nearly been beat 722 00:48:01,159 --> 00:48:04,120 See they've taken my home They've taken my wife 723 00:48:04,245 --> 00:48:06,539 They've taken my job And they've taken my life 724 00:48:06,664 --> 00:48:09,292 But there's one thing That they will not take 725 00:48:09,375 --> 00:48:12,128 That I will hold till the end Until my dying day 726 00:48:12,211 --> 00:48:14,839 'Cause it's part of me And it's time that we say 727 00:48:14,964 --> 00:48:17,967 They will not take it all away! 728 00:48:33,149 --> 00:48:35,026 Don't let them take it all away 729 00:48:38,571 --> 00:48:40,573 It's getting harder every day 730 00:48:44,035 --> 00:48:46,037 Brothers, sisters, hear me say 731 00:48:50,166 --> 00:48:53,002 I'm pounding the pavement Through thick and thin 732 00:48:53,085 --> 00:48:55,463 Good times and bad I just can't win 733 00:48:55,546 --> 00:48:58,549 I've been beat on, kicked on Insulted to my face 734 00:48:58,633 --> 00:49:00,927 The whole bleeding world thinks I'm a bleeding disgrace 735 00:49:01,052 --> 00:49:04,013 Yeah, they can own my body But they'll never own my mind 736 00:49:04,096 --> 00:49:06,349 So they better face the facts 'Cause now is the time 737 00:49:06,432 --> 00:49:09,393 Till we all join hands And all of us say 738 00:49:09,518 --> 00:49:12,355 They will not take it all away 739 00:49:23,950 --> 00:49:26,702 That's really funny. 'Cause I've been cleaning all day, 740 00:49:26,827 --> 00:49:29,247 so you think that it'd be funny to come in and throw a cup down. 741 00:49:29,330 --> 00:49:32,291 Because I've been working really hard and you want to ruin that for me. 742 00:49:32,416 --> 00:49:36,128 I love that! You're just... You're so fucking cool, you bitch. 743 00:49:36,254 --> 00:49:39,590 Yeah, get some, you punk-ass bitch! Come here, you steaming fuck! 744 00:49:49,016 --> 00:49:53,562 - I don't know if this is a good idea. - You want that scholarship, don't you? 745 00:49:54,772 --> 00:49:55,898 Go on. 746 00:50:00,611 --> 00:50:05,741 Come on, man! You can do it! I believe in you! You're the coolest, bro! 747 00:50:06,867 --> 00:50:10,287 - Yeah, he's totally fucked. Yep. - Yeah, totally. 748 00:50:10,621 --> 00:50:12,039 Shit! Run away! 749 00:50:13,624 --> 00:50:19,547 Let's just say that this morning was, well, rather shocking. 750 00:50:20,089 --> 00:50:23,092 Heck, I didn't even know what some of those words meant. 751 00:50:23,217 --> 00:50:25,469 I had to search the Internet for them. 752 00:50:25,594 --> 00:50:29,932 But I guess that's what happens when you choose to stay at a frat house, 753 00:50:30,016 --> 00:50:32,977 rather than the dorm room we assigned you. 754 00:50:33,060 --> 00:50:35,980 I know, sir. It was a bad choice. 755 00:50:36,063 --> 00:50:41,110 Christ, if I had my way, I'd kick every fraternity off this campus. 756 00:50:41,235 --> 00:50:46,282 Do you know that those animals suck nitrous oxide 757 00:50:46,407 --> 00:50:49,577 out of balloons just to get high? 758 00:50:49,660 --> 00:50:51,912 Really? That's just awful! 759 00:50:54,665 --> 00:50:59,086 Mr. Hooper, there is no doubt that you are academically gifted, 760 00:51:00,421 --> 00:51:05,468 but the scholarships we give out here are about much more than just that. 761 00:51:05,593 --> 00:51:07,595 Dean Chandler, that's me. 762 00:51:08,387 --> 00:51:10,473 My family has a long history at Fieldmont, 763 00:51:10,598 --> 00:51:13,267 and I'd like to continue that legacy. 764 00:51:13,350 --> 00:51:15,978 Well, you know, son, I guess you're gonna have to prove it to me. 765 00:51:16,061 --> 00:51:18,022 For, as of right now, Mr. Hooper, 766 00:51:18,105 --> 00:51:22,276 you and your scholarship are hanging by a thread. 767 00:51:27,823 --> 00:51:30,618 God! You're so lame! 768 00:51:30,701 --> 00:51:32,536 Dude, where have you been? It's go time! 769 00:51:32,661 --> 00:51:37,208 Relax! Relax! I just had to run a little errand. 770 00:51:38,209 --> 00:51:42,046 All my years of hard work have finally paid off! That's my boy. 771 00:51:44,256 --> 00:51:46,467 - Nice. - What's wrong, Morris? 772 00:51:48,093 --> 00:51:51,347 What's wrong? I'm having a breakdown, Kevin! 773 00:51:51,430 --> 00:51:53,307 Or have you forgotten what that feels like? 774 00:51:53,390 --> 00:51:55,392 - I understand, man. - What am I gonna do? 775 00:51:55,476 --> 00:51:59,355 Somehow, I have to convince the Dean that I actually want to go here. 776 00:51:59,438 --> 00:52:01,607 Well, look, there's nothing you can do about it tonight, all right? 777 00:52:01,732 --> 00:52:05,528 - So let's just go get our girls. Here. - This doesn't even look like me. 778 00:52:05,653 --> 00:52:07,655 Whatever, Morris. Just tell the bouncer you don't photograph well. 779 00:52:07,780 --> 00:52:09,323 Let me see it. 780 00:52:10,699 --> 00:52:15,246 Dude, this will totally work! You guys are both just so ugly. 781 00:52:15,371 --> 00:52:17,498 You're a little uglier, but it'll be good. Don't worry about it. 782 00:52:19,542 --> 00:52:21,252 Laquisha? 783 00:52:21,377 --> 00:52:25,172 Man, you actually expect me to buy that your name is Laquisha? 784 00:52:25,965 --> 00:52:28,509 You know what? I like how you roll, dog. You in. 785 00:52:28,592 --> 00:52:30,844 10 bucks cover tonight, guys. 786 00:52:32,346 --> 00:52:33,555 Shit! 787 00:52:34,265 --> 00:52:36,809 - Sorry, guys. No dough, no go. - Fuck! 788 00:52:37,601 --> 00:52:38,727 Let the ladies through. 789 00:52:38,811 --> 00:52:41,272 Let the ladies through. Let the ladies through. 790 00:52:41,355 --> 00:52:45,567 - What was that? They didn't pay. - Did you see the size of those racks? 791 00:52:47,278 --> 00:52:50,864 - No. - Yeah, you big, big man. 792 00:52:50,948 --> 00:52:53,492 You like that when I squeeze them together for you? 793 00:52:53,617 --> 00:52:54,576 I said no. 794 00:52:58,539 --> 00:53:01,041 I cannot believe those assholes ripped us off. 795 00:53:01,125 --> 00:53:03,627 They've done pretty much everything else to us so far this weekend. 796 00:53:03,711 --> 00:53:05,462 Why not that? 797 00:53:05,587 --> 00:53:07,047 Man, do you think this is what it's going to be like 798 00:53:07,172 --> 00:53:10,134 - when we're really in college? - Who knows? 799 00:53:10,217 --> 00:53:13,303 Well, we probably won't all be together. I know that. 800 00:53:13,429 --> 00:53:16,015 God, Morris, you're such a fucking baby! Would you stop being a girl? 801 00:53:16,140 --> 00:53:19,268 - Would you please just shut up? - What? It's true! 802 00:53:19,393 --> 00:53:22,771 Think about it, guys. This is it! Senior year. 803 00:53:24,857 --> 00:53:26,900 Man, he's right. This is it. 804 00:53:26,984 --> 00:53:29,403 You know, all the more of a reason to take advantage of being here. 805 00:53:29,486 --> 00:53:31,071 All right, I'm not sitting around. Come on, you guys! 806 00:53:31,155 --> 00:53:32,197 Where are you going? 807 00:53:32,322 --> 00:53:34,783 What do you think? We've got a frat party to go to. Come on! 808 00:53:34,908 --> 00:53:37,286 - What about the girls? - Shut up. 809 00:53:41,415 --> 00:53:42,499 - It hurts. - Morris, let's go! 810 00:53:42,624 --> 00:53:44,001 Come on. 811 00:53:44,126 --> 00:53:47,087 - Wait for me! - You're so slow! You're so slow! 812 00:53:48,005 --> 00:53:51,008 I was on my way up She was on her way down 813 00:53:51,133 --> 00:53:54,887 And I didn't know I crossed that line 814 00:53:55,012 --> 00:53:59,475 Make me sick to my stomach When I think of that woman 815 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,394 Sitting in this cell of mine 816 00:54:02,811 --> 00:54:06,690 I said, "Goddamn, I'm only a man" 817 00:54:06,815 --> 00:54:09,985 Give me 15 years to life 818 00:54:10,861 --> 00:54:12,654 Jailbait 819 00:54:43,393 --> 00:54:45,145 Come on, cowboy. 820 00:54:46,730 --> 00:54:47,815 Yeah! 821 00:54:48,690 --> 00:54:51,860 You guys ready to celebrate? All right! 822 00:54:55,572 --> 00:54:57,324 Where's my whip? 823 00:54:58,784 --> 00:55:01,161 You want to be my bitch, huh? 824 00:55:05,541 --> 00:55:06,875 Pass it on. 825 00:55:36,613 --> 00:55:40,701 - Fellows, it's not polite to stare! - What the fuck, man? What's up? 826 00:55:41,285 --> 00:55:45,038 Ladies, I want you to meet some very special guests. 827 00:55:45,122 --> 00:55:46,790 - Hi, boys. - What's up? 828 00:55:46,915 --> 00:55:50,585 - Hi, cutie. - Me? Hi. 829 00:55:50,711 --> 00:55:52,963 Wait. You're the Penthouse Pet of the Year. 830 00:55:53,088 --> 00:55:54,214 Mmm-hmm. 831 00:55:54,298 --> 00:55:57,676 - And you're... - On the cover of Penthouse Letters. 832 00:55:57,801 --> 00:56:00,595 Fellows! Good for you for staying current. 833 00:56:02,055 --> 00:56:06,268 Where were we? Where were we? Where were... 834 00:56:09,187 --> 00:56:11,440 Yeah, that's right. Ladies? 835 00:56:11,565 --> 00:56:14,818 These guys were nice enough to pay for all this. 836 00:56:14,943 --> 00:56:17,446 Wait a second. That's what you did with our money? You paid for this party? 837 00:56:17,571 --> 00:56:20,449 Hey, kegs aren't cheap these days, my man. 838 00:56:20,574 --> 00:56:22,576 Neither are the circus animals we got coming later. 839 00:56:22,659 --> 00:56:24,369 Wait! You couldn't have paid for this. 840 00:56:24,494 --> 00:56:25,912 We didn't even have that much money in our wallets. 841 00:56:25,996 --> 00:56:29,624 - Yeah. - Yeah. What's up with that? 842 00:56:29,750 --> 00:56:31,460 Luckily, you guys had some plastic. 843 00:56:31,585 --> 00:56:33,378 God, my parents gave me that in case of an emergency. 844 00:56:33,503 --> 00:56:35,464 Well, good thing they got such a high limit! 845 00:56:35,547 --> 00:56:39,134 We almost maxed those puppies out. Especially on this guy. 846 00:56:39,843 --> 00:56:41,261 Verne Troyer? 847 00:56:41,803 --> 00:56:43,972 - That's Mini-Me. - Verne! 848 00:56:47,017 --> 00:56:50,729 - Why do you keep hitting me? Fuck! - Shut up, bitch! 849 00:56:51,772 --> 00:56:53,190 Fucking Mini-Me. 850 00:56:53,315 --> 00:56:56,568 It was Bearcat's idea. God, I love that guy. 851 00:56:58,195 --> 00:57:02,157 Anyhow, we've gotta go be social. 852 00:57:02,282 --> 00:57:05,827 You douche bags have fun. Okay? Okay. 853 00:57:05,952 --> 00:57:07,120 Babies? 854 00:57:10,082 --> 00:57:13,210 That was so weird, but so hot! Dude, she grabbed my nipple! 855 00:57:13,335 --> 00:57:15,295 Dude, she twisted my nipple, dude! 856 00:57:15,420 --> 00:57:18,673 So, basically, this is our party. 857 00:57:18,757 --> 00:57:23,678 - Yeah. In a roundabout way, I guess it is. - Why don't I like where this is going? 858 00:57:23,762 --> 00:57:25,847 Come on, Morris! I mean, we paid for it. We may as well enjoy it. 859 00:57:25,972 --> 00:57:28,558 - That's my boy! - Come on! Who wants to keg stand? 860 00:57:28,683 --> 00:57:31,561 Me! Me! I'm first! I wanna go first! Please. 861 00:57:36,066 --> 00:57:39,027 - Have you ever done one of these before? - No, but it looks like fun, huh, man? 862 00:57:39,152 --> 00:57:40,362 Yeah. Real fun. 863 00:57:40,487 --> 00:57:42,113 All right, here, make sure you get a good shot. 864 00:57:42,239 --> 00:57:44,616 Wait, I thought you didn't want to send Gina any more videos. 865 00:57:44,741 --> 00:57:46,952 I changed my mind, all right? Wait till she sees this one. 866 00:57:47,077 --> 00:57:49,037 - Nice! - Kev, come on. 867 00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:52,040 What's happening? You don't have to do this. 868 00:57:52,749 --> 00:57:55,210 Yeah, I do, Morris, all right? And you should lighten up and do one, too. 869 00:57:55,293 --> 00:57:57,128 Yeah, fuck nugget. 870 00:57:57,254 --> 00:57:59,965 Me? No way. That's a bad idea. 871 00:58:00,090 --> 00:58:03,218 - I'm already on thin ice with the Dean. - Whatever! 872 00:58:04,469 --> 00:58:08,890 You know what? I think I'm gonna go and find something non-alcoholic to drink. 873 00:58:08,974 --> 00:58:10,100 You guys have fun puking on yourselves. 874 00:58:10,225 --> 00:58:13,562 Okay. We will, buddy. I love you! Call me later. Be safe. 875 00:58:13,645 --> 00:58:17,065 - All right, whatever. Let's do this thing! - All right. 876 00:58:17,148 --> 00:58:20,068 Yeah. Be careful with him, guys. He's fragile. 877 00:58:20,151 --> 00:58:22,445 Bitches spit, Kev. Bitches spit. 878 00:58:34,708 --> 00:58:37,961 - Hey, is there alcohol in there? - In the punch? 879 00:58:39,671 --> 00:58:42,299 No, not at all. 880 00:58:42,424 --> 00:58:46,886 In fact, this is non-alcoholic for our designated drivers. 881 00:58:48,305 --> 00:58:51,600 - Really? - Big old Bearcat wouldn't lie to you. 882 00:58:51,725 --> 00:58:55,061 After last night, I feel like we bonded. 883 00:58:55,145 --> 00:58:59,357 In fact, if you don't believe me, have a taste. 884 00:59:01,693 --> 00:59:03,528 Hey, can I have some punch? 885 00:59:03,653 --> 00:59:05,905 Hey, safety first. 886 00:59:06,489 --> 00:59:08,742 - Another designated driver. - Thank you. 887 00:59:12,412 --> 00:59:18,043 - Wow! It's pretty good. - Drink up, buddy. You look thirsty. 888 00:59:18,168 --> 00:59:21,171 Thanks, Bearcat. You're all right. 889 00:59:21,296 --> 00:59:24,049 Listen to me. If anybody, 890 00:59:24,174 --> 00:59:28,595 and I mean anybody, fucks with you tonight, find me. 891 00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:30,180 I got your front. 892 00:59:30,305 --> 00:59:33,600 - Don't you mean "back"? - If that's how you want it. 893 00:59:34,809 --> 00:59:37,604 If you feel something moving in your pants, don't fight it! 894 00:59:38,688 --> 00:59:40,148 Who's fucking on my floor? 895 00:59:44,652 --> 00:59:47,364 - Heather! - I know you! 896 00:59:47,447 --> 00:59:49,741 Hey, Teague, who's the blonde? 897 00:59:50,575 --> 00:59:54,621 Hey! Kendall! I'm glad you made it. Let me get you girls some beers. 898 00:59:54,746 --> 00:59:57,040 No, thanks, Teague. Not now. 899 00:59:57,123 --> 01:00:01,336 If you're looking for who I think you're looking for, don't bother. 900 01:00:01,461 --> 01:00:04,214 He's a loser, him and his little friends. 901 01:00:04,631 --> 01:00:08,259 Are you really that jealous? 902 01:00:08,384 --> 01:00:11,805 You had your chance, Teague, and thank God you blew it. 903 01:00:29,190 --> 01:00:31,651 - Yeah! - I wanna drink! I wanna drink! 904 01:00:32,652 --> 01:00:36,030 - Fuck, yeah! - You are so awesome! 905 01:00:36,155 --> 01:00:38,157 - Verne! - Verne! Hey, Verne! 906 01:00:38,282 --> 01:00:41,202 - Fuck you, prick! - I love you, too! 907 01:00:41,285 --> 01:00:43,788 - Hey, man, did you get that one? - Dude, you fucking drained the thing! 908 01:00:43,871 --> 01:00:47,750 - Holy shit. Oh, hey, hey! Look, look! - Ladies! 909 01:00:47,875 --> 01:00:50,211 Hey, Kendall! Kendall, hey! 910 01:00:50,294 --> 01:00:51,546 What's up, ladies? 911 01:00:51,671 --> 01:00:53,005 We were hoping you guys would show up. 912 01:00:53,089 --> 01:00:56,467 Yeah, we waited at the bar tonight for, like, two hours. 913 01:00:56,551 --> 01:00:58,135 Yeah. Way to blow us off. 914 01:00:58,219 --> 01:01:02,181 Amy, girl, you know I'd never blow you off. 915 01:01:02,306 --> 01:01:06,686 Especially last night, you know, after the lesbian thing. 916 01:01:06,769 --> 01:01:09,438 Hey, hey, look, the bouncer wouldn't let us in, 'cause our IDs sucked. 917 01:01:09,564 --> 01:01:11,524 We got in just fine, and we don't even have ID. 918 01:01:11,649 --> 01:01:15,695 Yeah, but, see, you guys got tits, and those things are like gold. 919 01:01:16,445 --> 01:01:19,031 Hey, but you know what? You know what we're gonna do? 920 01:01:19,115 --> 01:01:23,494 Let us make it up to you, okay, 'cause you still need those beers, right? 921 01:01:23,619 --> 01:01:26,747 - I think you've had plenty. - Me? Come on! Please! 922 01:01:28,666 --> 01:01:30,668 I'm just getting started. 923 01:01:32,420 --> 01:01:34,422 All right, well, I'm gonna get you those beers. 924 01:01:34,547 --> 01:01:35,548 We're gonna get you the beers. 925 01:01:35,631 --> 01:01:37,592 - So don't move. - Let's go! 926 01:01:38,050 --> 01:01:40,970 - Excuse me, boobies! Look out! - Wait. Where's Morris? 927 01:01:48,436 --> 01:01:50,021 - Cocksucking motherfucker! - Fuck you! 928 01:01:50,104 --> 01:01:52,565 Come on back and fight like a man! 929 01:01:55,568 --> 01:01:57,361 So, let's go 930 01:01:57,570 --> 01:01:59,447 And get wasted 931 01:02:00,406 --> 01:02:02,825 Let's go Let's go 932 01:02:02,908 --> 01:02:05,453 And get high 933 01:02:05,578 --> 01:02:07,079 Let's go 934 01:02:10,750 --> 01:02:13,169 Look who's here! Little high school friends. 935 01:02:13,252 --> 01:02:16,422 Hey, come on, don't be a dick, Teague. Fill us up. 936 01:02:16,964 --> 01:02:19,175 - What'd you say? - I said fill us up, fucktard. 937 01:02:19,258 --> 01:02:20,801 Or is that too complicated for your small... 938 01:02:20,926 --> 01:02:24,055 Hey, hey! Hey, hey! He meant that in the nicest way possible. 939 01:02:24,180 --> 01:02:27,433 Stop being an asshole, Teague, and give them our beer. 940 01:02:27,558 --> 01:02:31,395 So you want some beer for your ladies? 941 01:02:32,688 --> 01:02:33,981 All right. 942 01:02:35,775 --> 01:02:40,071 You know what? You guys put up with a lot of shit these past couple of days, 943 01:02:40,196 --> 01:02:42,448 and you deserve this beer. 944 01:02:43,574 --> 01:02:45,618 In fact, hold on. 945 01:02:49,663 --> 01:02:52,124 Hey, everybody, listen up! I've got a quick announcement to make! 946 01:02:52,249 --> 01:02:56,045 - Lay off, Teague. - Trust me, Kendall. You're gonna love this. 947 01:02:56,837 --> 01:03:01,300 See these guys right here? These guys are pre-frosh. 948 01:03:02,885 --> 01:03:06,597 - That's right! They're high school kids! - High school? 949 01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:07,723 High school? 950 01:03:07,807 --> 01:03:12,895 All right, come on now, once upon a time we were high school kids, too. 951 01:03:13,896 --> 01:03:16,190 - No way! - Come on. 952 01:03:16,315 --> 01:03:17,274 Grow up! 953 01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,110 All right, shut up! 954 01:03:19,735 --> 01:03:21,445 These guys are cool. 955 01:03:21,862 --> 01:03:25,032 They're good guys who want a beer and a good time. 956 01:03:26,075 --> 01:03:27,660 Give them one. 957 01:03:27,785 --> 01:03:30,246 Here it is. Your beer. 958 01:03:40,589 --> 01:03:44,802 What the fuck? Stop peeing on me! What are you doing? 959 01:03:44,885 --> 01:03:46,637 Would you fucking stop peeing on me, you little shit? 960 01:03:46,762 --> 01:03:51,433 Say what? Nobody talks to my bear kitten like that! 961 01:03:51,517 --> 01:03:54,520 What me and him got, you'll never understand. 962 01:03:54,645 --> 01:03:55,980 Pick me up, bitch! 963 01:03:56,063 --> 01:03:58,274 Stop calling me bitch! This is my frat. You're embarrassing me. 964 01:03:58,357 --> 01:03:59,775 And now let's get fucked up! 965 01:04:09,493 --> 01:04:11,954 - Kendall, wait! - Nice one. 966 01:04:17,042 --> 01:04:20,004 - Oh, my word, that was fun. - That's not dancing. 967 01:04:21,338 --> 01:04:22,923 They can't dance. 968 01:04:23,674 --> 01:04:25,134 Jim! Look out! 969 01:04:27,344 --> 01:04:31,849 - Sweet Jesus! That was close! - Hi! Dean Chandler! 970 01:04:31,974 --> 01:04:34,351 Just the guy I wanted to talk to. 971 01:04:37,229 --> 01:04:40,149 Oh, my God! 972 01:04:50,784 --> 01:04:52,453 I'm so dead. 973 01:04:52,578 --> 01:04:56,790 Yeah, well, at least you didn't get beer poured on you by about 300 people. 974 01:04:56,916 --> 01:04:58,667 Yeah, Kendall looked pretty pissed back there, huh? 975 01:04:58,751 --> 01:04:59,752 Pissed? 976 01:04:59,877 --> 01:05:04,506 Dude, it looked like she was gonna shoot fucking daggers out of her eyeballs. 977 01:05:07,343 --> 01:05:09,553 Kev? Kev! Where you going? 978 01:05:09,637 --> 01:05:12,473 I'm gonna go apologize. You coming with me? 979 01:05:24,777 --> 01:05:28,781 Hey! Shut the fuck up! This is my favorite part! Watch this shit! 980 01:05:39,416 --> 01:05:40,709 Dude. 981 01:05:42,378 --> 01:05:44,338 There's Goose! There's Goose! 982 01:05:45,964 --> 01:05:48,467 Shit, that's funny! Hey, play that shit again! 983 01:05:48,550 --> 01:05:50,094 Play it in slow-mo! 984 01:05:50,219 --> 01:05:53,681 - You guys do this shit for fun? - All day, every day. 985 01:05:53,806 --> 01:05:56,975 - Butch up, Goose! Stop being a pussy! - Yeah! 986 01:06:00,145 --> 01:06:04,316 I just saw those high school kids heading over to the sorority house. 987 01:06:04,900 --> 01:06:06,276 Just saying. 988 01:06:11,156 --> 01:06:12,116 No way. 989 01:06:15,744 --> 01:06:17,079 What? 990 01:06:17,162 --> 01:06:21,125 - Can I talk to you alone for a minute? - Why? So you can tell me more lies? 991 01:06:21,250 --> 01:06:23,419 - No, thanks. - Hey! Wait! 992 01:06:26,755 --> 01:06:30,467 - Come on, I leave tomorrow. - You know, I thought you were different. 993 01:06:30,592 --> 01:06:34,221 But you're just like the rest of them. Have a nice drive. 994 01:06:36,849 --> 01:06:38,350 College blows! 995 01:06:39,935 --> 01:06:42,104 You think I'll ever see Heather again? 996 01:06:42,187 --> 01:06:45,190 Probably not, Morris. I pretty much blew it for all of us. 997 01:06:45,274 --> 01:06:47,276 So that was my last shot to score with Amy. 998 01:06:47,359 --> 01:06:49,444 All I wanna do is bang one college chick this weekend. 999 01:06:49,528 --> 01:06:51,613 Is that so much to ask? 1000 01:06:51,697 --> 01:06:53,198 What the hell? 1001 01:06:55,951 --> 01:06:57,911 My glasses! My glasses! 1002 01:07:00,706 --> 01:07:03,584 Get them in the van! Get them in. 1003 01:07:04,168 --> 01:07:05,544 Get them in. 1004 01:07:16,054 --> 01:07:19,516 You pukes are worthless. - Worthless! 1005 01:07:19,641 --> 01:07:23,437 Nothing but a bunch of goddamn high school kids! 1006 01:07:23,562 --> 01:07:26,148 Goddamn high school kids! 1007 01:07:31,028 --> 01:07:35,324 I can't believe we're even out here wasting our time on you. 1008 01:07:35,407 --> 01:07:38,202 Wasting our motherfucking time! 1009 01:07:38,327 --> 01:07:41,038 Dude, what's with the repeating? It's fucking killing me. 1010 01:07:41,163 --> 01:07:45,542 Sorry! It's stupid. Can I get a hug? 1011 01:07:48,086 --> 01:07:51,465 Just go stand over there and look fucking mean. 1012 01:07:51,590 --> 01:07:52,633 Do the growl thing. 1013 01:07:52,758 --> 01:07:56,553 Come on, man, I'll jeeper creeper these motherfuckers. Hug me. 1014 01:08:07,105 --> 01:08:11,568 We got beer to drink. So it's been fun, kind of. 1015 01:08:13,278 --> 01:08:15,072 By the way, 1016 01:08:15,197 --> 01:08:19,409 have you guys ever seen a pig stampede before? 1017 01:08:19,534 --> 01:08:22,412 - Fucked up. Pig stampede. - Pig stampede! 1018 01:08:22,496 --> 01:08:24,706 Pig stampede! Pig stampede! - Pig stampede! Pig stampede! 1019 01:08:24,790 --> 01:08:27,417 - Pig stampede! Pig stampede! - Pig stampede! Pig stampede! 1020 01:08:27,542 --> 01:08:30,671 - Pig stampede! Pig stampede! - Pig stampede! Pig stampede! 1021 01:08:40,138 --> 01:08:43,392 Get out of the front seat, bitch! I called shotgun! 1022 01:08:48,438 --> 01:08:50,190 Shit! Run! 1023 01:08:59,324 --> 01:09:02,202 Keep running, you little sicko pig fuckers! 1024 01:09:07,666 --> 01:09:08,709 This sucks. 1025 01:09:08,834 --> 01:09:12,254 Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious, Carter. 1026 01:09:12,337 --> 01:09:17,134 You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I think I actually miss high school. 1027 01:09:19,261 --> 01:09:21,096 - What, Kevin? - Nothing. Forget it. 1028 01:09:21,179 --> 01:09:23,014 Don't forget it. If you have something to say, fucking say it! 1029 01:09:23,140 --> 01:09:25,559 Okay, fine, you want it? Here it is. You're full of shit, Carter! 1030 01:09:25,684 --> 01:09:26,685 I'm full of shit? 1031 01:09:26,810 --> 01:09:29,020 Yeah! You're always talking such a big fucking game, man. 1032 01:09:29,146 --> 01:09:32,441 You know what? Newsflash! He's never even been laid. 1033 01:09:34,526 --> 01:09:39,823 - So, that's how it's gonna be, huh, Kevin? - No, no, no. Wait. You're still a virgin? 1034 01:09:39,906 --> 01:09:44,077 - Man! This is great. - Yeah, whatever, Morris! Shut up! 1035 01:09:44,202 --> 01:09:45,662 You know what, Kev? Stop dumping on us 1036 01:09:45,787 --> 01:09:47,789 'cause the weekend didn't turn out the way you thought it would! 1037 01:09:47,873 --> 01:09:49,583 Yeah, probably because I've been listening to you too much. 1038 01:09:49,708 --> 01:09:54,087 Yeah, 'cause it was my idea to try to prove Gina wrong and lie to Kendall! 1039 01:09:54,212 --> 01:09:57,007 - That was all you, man! - Guys, come on. Let's not fight. 1040 01:09:57,090 --> 01:09:59,509 You know what? Stay out of it, Morris! You're not part of this! 1041 01:09:59,593 --> 01:10:00,969 I'm not part of this? 1042 01:10:01,052 --> 01:10:03,054 This was supposed to be yours and my weekend here. 1043 01:10:03,138 --> 01:10:04,639 Dude, whatever. I didn't mean it like that. 1044 01:10:04,723 --> 01:10:06,600 No, but while we're comparing shitty weekends, 1045 01:10:06,725 --> 01:10:07,767 here's one for you. 1046 01:10:07,893 --> 01:10:10,520 My face got written on before my scholarship interview, 1047 01:10:10,645 --> 01:10:12,522 a pig just snacked on my nuts, 1048 01:10:12,647 --> 01:10:14,524 and, oh, yeah, I almost forgot about this one, 1049 01:10:14,649 --> 01:10:16,151 I puked on the Dean's car, 1050 01:10:16,276 --> 01:10:18,570 which pretty much means that I'm not getting my scholarship! 1051 01:10:18,695 --> 01:10:19,988 God, Morris! Ever since you got here 1052 01:10:20,071 --> 01:10:22,199 you whine, whine, whine about your fucking scholarship. 1053 01:10:22,324 --> 01:10:23,408 You don't even want to go here. 1054 01:10:23,533 --> 01:10:26,036 It's not about what I want! You know how my parents are! 1055 01:10:26,161 --> 01:10:28,538 Yeah, well, then grow some fucking balls and stand up to them. 1056 01:10:28,663 --> 01:10:30,040 It's not that easy. 1057 01:10:30,123 --> 01:10:32,375 Hey, man, what's next? They're gonna choose what job you take? 1058 01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:35,295 - What girl you marry? - Dude, lay off, Kev! 1059 01:10:36,129 --> 01:10:37,923 That's a first. You're sticking up for Morris, man? 1060 01:10:38,048 --> 01:10:40,926 - You bag on him more than anyone. - That's not true and you fucking know it! 1061 01:10:41,051 --> 01:10:42,219 Ha! 1062 01:10:43,178 --> 01:10:45,555 Okay, you know what, Morris? Fuck you! 1063 01:10:45,639 --> 01:10:48,141 That's the last time I ever have your fucking back! 1064 01:10:48,266 --> 01:10:52,646 You know what? Fuck you, too, Kevin, for dumping all your bullshit on us. 1065 01:10:56,399 --> 01:10:58,151 All right, fine, Morris. Yeah, walk away with him. 1066 01:10:58,276 --> 01:11:00,904 Why don't you hold his hand while you're at it? 1067 01:11:00,987 --> 01:11:05,033 - Fuck you, Kevin. - Dropping the F-bomb, big man. 1068 01:11:05,116 --> 01:11:07,243 What is that, the first time you ever used it? 1069 01:11:07,369 --> 01:11:09,371 I'm telling your parents! 1070 01:11:10,622 --> 01:11:11,706 Fuck! 1071 01:11:11,790 --> 01:11:14,042 We do not know 1072 01:11:17,504 --> 01:11:18,630 How things work 1073 01:11:18,630 --> 01:11:19,172 How things work 1074 01:11:22,300 --> 01:11:25,512 We do not know 1075 01:11:29,391 --> 01:11:31,768 Where you go 1076 01:11:37,399 --> 01:11:38,733 In the night 1077 01:11:41,486 --> 01:11:43,113 Through the door 1078 01:11:45,281 --> 01:11:49,411 Through the door that holds you 1079 01:11:53,164 --> 01:11:57,335 Through the door that holds you 1080 01:12:00,255 --> 01:12:02,257 Out of the blue 1081 01:12:09,347 --> 01:12:12,642 We do not know 1082 01:12:17,272 --> 01:12:21,276 The door that holds you 1083 01:12:24,195 --> 01:12:26,322 Silent as glue 1084 01:12:28,783 --> 01:12:31,077 We stand under it 1085 01:12:31,870 --> 01:12:34,289 But we don't understand it 1086 01:12:36,708 --> 01:12:38,793 The door that holds you 1087 01:12:44,090 --> 01:12:46,801 Silent as glue 1088 01:12:49,012 --> 01:12:54,267 And stars fall on 1089 01:12:57,604 --> 01:13:02,734 Stars fall on 1090 01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:07,197 Silent as glue 1091 01:13:27,425 --> 01:13:31,554 - Nice look. - This? Yeah, thanks. 1092 01:13:34,641 --> 01:13:35,808 So... 1093 01:13:40,605 --> 01:13:42,899 - Look, about what happened... - Don't even go there. 1094 01:13:42,982 --> 01:13:46,736 - Just let me explain. - I really don't want to hear it, Kevin. 1095 01:13:46,819 --> 01:13:48,696 I don't even know who you are. 1096 01:13:48,780 --> 01:13:51,241 Yeah, to be honest, I'm not even sure I know anymore. 1097 01:13:51,324 --> 01:13:53,868 Maybe it's time you figure that out. 1098 01:13:55,870 --> 01:14:00,750 You know, high school, college, it wouldn't have mattered to me. 1099 01:14:00,875 --> 01:14:03,127 Yeah, I know. It's so stupid. 1100 01:14:03,253 --> 01:14:07,298 You know, I came down here thinking I needed to change who I was. 1101 01:14:08,466 --> 01:14:10,551 Lying to you was just part of it. 1102 01:14:10,677 --> 01:14:13,263 I thought you were pretty great. Why would you want to change that? 1103 01:14:13,388 --> 01:14:14,847 I don't know. 1104 01:14:16,266 --> 01:14:18,226 You don't know? 1105 01:14:18,309 --> 01:14:21,813 Like, I mean, I kind of liked who I was, or I am. 1106 01:14:21,938 --> 01:14:25,108 You know, a little uptight at times, responsible. 1107 01:14:29,404 --> 01:14:32,240 God, I really screwed up this weekend. 1108 01:14:32,323 --> 01:14:34,826 You know, now Morris and Carter are pissed at each other. 1109 01:14:34,951 --> 01:14:36,911 They're both pissed at me. 1110 01:14:39,038 --> 01:14:43,001 You just seem like the kind of person who doesn't make mistakes. 1111 01:14:43,376 --> 01:14:44,419 Ha! 1112 01:14:46,504 --> 01:14:49,507 A couple weeks ago... Brace yourself. 1113 01:14:51,968 --> 01:14:53,886 I hooked up with Teague. 1114 01:14:54,012 --> 01:14:56,597 - Huge mistake. - Yeah, he kinda told me. 1115 01:14:58,641 --> 01:15:00,977 Why not? He told the whole campus. 1116 01:15:03,563 --> 01:15:06,357 Why'd you do it? I mean, with a guy like Teague? 1117 01:15:06,482 --> 01:15:09,110 - He is so... - For all the wrong reasons. 1118 01:15:10,862 --> 01:15:13,740 He was good-looking. He made me feel special, 1119 01:15:15,491 --> 01:15:17,952 and since he was a really good liar, 1120 01:15:18,077 --> 01:15:23,750 he made believe that it was more than just a one-night thing. 1121 01:15:26,502 --> 01:15:28,671 - Ouch. - Yeah. 1122 01:15:29,380 --> 01:15:32,633 It was kind of why I freaked out tonight. 1123 01:15:34,761 --> 01:15:40,224 I found out that you lied and I assumed that you were just like Teague. 1124 01:15:40,349 --> 01:15:43,478 Oh, God, please, look, I'm nothing like that guy. 1125 01:15:45,688 --> 01:15:48,107 I'm really sorry about everything. 1126 01:15:50,359 --> 01:15:52,820 Is this the real Kevin talking? 1127 01:15:52,904 --> 01:15:56,240 Or is this the new and improved college Kevin talking? 1128 01:15:56,365 --> 01:15:57,492 No, this is the real me, 1129 01:15:57,575 --> 01:16:01,162 the uptight, responsible, un-fun high school one. 1130 01:16:03,414 --> 01:16:06,584 Good. Apology accepted then. 1131 01:16:10,755 --> 01:16:13,966 All right, well, I gotta go find Carter and Morris. 1132 01:16:15,468 --> 01:16:19,722 Before you go, can I please give you some clothes? 1133 01:16:23,893 --> 01:16:27,730 - Morris? Morris, wake up! - Kevin? 1134 01:16:29,941 --> 01:16:32,401 - What's with the... - Where's Carter? 1135 01:16:38,824 --> 01:16:43,329 Look, you guys. I've been thinking all night. I just want to say I'm sorry 1136 01:16:44,288 --> 01:16:46,040 about everything. 1137 01:16:46,123 --> 01:16:49,210 - You said some harsh things, man. - Yeah, I know. 1138 01:16:50,294 --> 01:16:54,382 I've realized a lot about myself this weekend, and you guys. 1139 01:16:54,507 --> 01:16:56,384 I didn't mean what I said. 1140 01:16:56,467 --> 01:16:59,053 I've just been so hung up on what Gina told me 1141 01:16:59,136 --> 01:17:03,599 that I haven't even stopped to think that, you know, maybe she was wrong. 1142 01:17:05,309 --> 01:17:06,310 You guys are my best friends. 1143 01:17:06,435 --> 01:17:10,106 I'm not gonna let some stupid weekend at college ruin that. 1144 01:17:11,816 --> 01:17:15,611 Whatever, man. It's cool. I like the boring Kevin more anyway. 1145 01:17:15,903 --> 01:17:17,863 Thanks, Carter. I think. 1146 01:17:21,325 --> 01:17:22,618 Morris? 1147 01:17:24,287 --> 01:17:28,666 We all said some stuff, you know? No biggie. I'm over it. 1148 01:17:29,625 --> 01:17:32,545 Sorry I, like, freaked out and lost my shit. 1149 01:17:38,884 --> 01:17:40,261 You guys, 1150 01:17:42,346 --> 01:17:44,724 that was so gay. 1151 01:17:44,849 --> 01:17:47,852 That was like the third gayest thing we've done this weekend. 1152 01:17:47,977 --> 01:17:51,105 - It's getting out of hand. - All right, look. Does this mean we're cool? 1153 01:17:51,188 --> 01:17:53,607 Yeah, man. For sure. 1154 01:17:53,691 --> 01:17:56,694 Okay! So now that we're done arguing like a bunch of chicks, 1155 01:17:56,777 --> 01:18:01,157 - what the hell are we doing out here? - Go ahead and look for yourselves. 1156 01:18:05,286 --> 01:18:07,496 - Is that all our stuff? - Yeah. 1157 01:18:07,580 --> 01:18:11,917 - They even threw in all our rubbers. - Those taint-sucking ball junkies. 1158 01:18:13,335 --> 01:18:14,378 Yep. 1159 01:18:31,896 --> 01:18:34,523 - Can we go home now? - No. Not yet. 1160 01:18:34,648 --> 01:18:37,860 - Dude, why the fuck would we stay? - The weekend's over, Kevin. 1161 01:18:37,985 --> 01:18:39,570 It's pretty clear we're not wanted here anymore. 1162 01:18:39,695 --> 01:18:41,530 Come on, you guys. We've got to stand up for ourselves. 1163 01:18:41,655 --> 01:18:43,824 No, we don't. We need to go home. 1164 01:18:43,908 --> 01:18:45,201 Come on, man. After all the shit we've been through? 1165 01:18:45,326 --> 01:18:48,037 We can't leave like this, Morris. 1166 01:18:48,120 --> 01:18:51,540 Besides, I can't stand up to these fraternity assholes on my own. 1167 01:18:51,624 --> 01:18:56,545 All right, fuck it! If I'm not gonna get laid, I might as well get revenge, right? 1168 01:19:00,090 --> 01:19:03,093 Come on, Morris. We can't do this without you. 1169 01:19:04,678 --> 01:19:08,140 Come on, man. Just think about it. Who wrote "hairy balls" on your face? 1170 01:19:08,265 --> 01:19:09,767 - Fraternity guys. - Yeah. 1171 01:19:09,892 --> 01:19:12,269 Who made you wash their car, drink out of some dude's belly button 1172 01:19:12,394 --> 01:19:13,896 and puke all over the Dean's car? 1173 01:19:14,021 --> 01:19:15,022 Who stripped you naked 1174 01:19:15,147 --> 01:19:17,274 and made you feel like a little bitch all weekend long? 1175 01:19:17,399 --> 01:19:21,070 - Fraternity guys! - Yeah, that's right, the fraternity guys. 1176 01:19:21,153 --> 01:19:22,571 Look, man, you want to stand up to your parents? 1177 01:19:22,696 --> 01:19:25,866 Why don't you start by taking a stand here first? 1178 01:19:26,367 --> 01:19:28,869 Let's take those motherfuckers down. 1179 01:19:46,595 --> 01:19:48,472 Fuck! 1180 01:19:56,522 --> 01:19:58,941 One, two. 1181 01:20:00,776 --> 01:20:03,571 - Four, five... - Dude, open the door! 1182 01:21:20,564 --> 01:21:22,024 Get over here! 1183 01:21:45,923 --> 01:21:49,510 Five, four, three, two... 1184 01:21:54,932 --> 01:21:59,061 - Dude, are you sure this is going to work? - Trust me. It's physics. 1185 01:22:24,878 --> 01:22:26,213 Fuck. 1186 01:22:43,355 --> 01:22:45,607 - What the fuck? - Nothing's happening. 1187 01:22:45,732 --> 01:22:47,192 Maybe the matches blew out. 1188 01:23:06,044 --> 01:23:07,379 What the... 1189 01:23:11,049 --> 01:23:13,135 Shit! Fuck! 1190 01:23:17,264 --> 01:23:18,765 What the fuck? 1191 01:23:36,325 --> 01:23:37,659 Fucking pig! 1192 01:23:39,036 --> 01:23:40,537 Fucking shit! 1193 01:23:47,836 --> 01:23:49,046 Oh, shit! 1194 01:23:52,549 --> 01:23:56,011 - What the fuck is happening? - There's pigs everywhere! 1195 01:24:01,475 --> 01:24:03,727 Fuck me! God damn it! 1196 01:24:06,980 --> 01:24:08,482 What the fuck? 1197 01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:11,693 It's beer! 1198 01:24:13,570 --> 01:24:15,489 It's fucking beer, man! 1199 01:24:34,883 --> 01:24:38,053 Hey, you guys, you got to come outside! 1200 01:24:38,178 --> 01:24:41,181 I think the Beta Chi House is on fire or something. 1201 01:25:02,619 --> 01:25:04,079 Fuck you, pig! 1202 01:25:08,792 --> 01:25:10,585 Nice hair cut, buddy! 1203 01:25:14,464 --> 01:25:16,049 - Bearcat. - Wait! 1204 01:25:19,219 --> 01:25:22,597 Wait! Can I flush first, guys? Come on! 1205 01:25:22,681 --> 01:25:25,809 You boys are in a world of shit now. Disturbing the peace, 1206 01:25:25,934 --> 01:25:28,270 destruction of property, stealing farm animals! 1207 01:25:28,353 --> 01:25:31,523 What the hell are you talking about? It wasn't us! 1208 01:25:33,733 --> 01:25:38,363 - It was those fuckers right there! - Officer, we don't even go here. 1209 01:25:38,488 --> 01:25:40,490 No. We're just a bunch of high school kids. 1210 01:25:40,615 --> 01:25:44,077 You know, Officer, frankly, I'm appalled at the behavior on this campus. 1211 01:25:44,202 --> 01:25:46,288 Motherfuckers! 1212 01:25:46,413 --> 01:25:47,747 Fuck you! 1213 01:25:47,831 --> 01:25:51,751 Careful there, buddy. You've got a little cut from a straight razor on your nipple. 1214 01:25:51,835 --> 01:25:53,420 Wait, wait! Wait! 1215 01:25:55,338 --> 01:25:57,215 - Where's my car? - Plastic pussy stole it! 1216 01:25:57,340 --> 01:25:58,717 Where's my fucking car? 1217 01:26:05,724 --> 01:26:07,642 This was donated by a group of our alumni. 1218 01:26:07,767 --> 01:26:10,395 This has made a very welcome addition to our campus. 1219 01:26:10,520 --> 01:26:14,107 And I'm sure that your child will embrace their studies... 1220 01:26:14,232 --> 01:26:17,986 Why don't we go ahead, guys? Just follow me. Come on, guys. 1221 01:26:24,075 --> 01:26:26,620 So, wait. You're in high school? 1222 01:26:26,703 --> 01:26:30,123 Yeah. I just came here to visit for the weekend, like you guys. 1223 01:26:30,206 --> 01:26:34,544 - But you even drink like a college girl. - Really? Thanks. 1224 01:26:36,796 --> 01:26:41,968 - So I guess this is it, huh? - Well, it doesn't have to be. 1225 01:26:44,512 --> 01:26:45,805 Carter! 1226 01:26:48,391 --> 01:26:51,353 Spank me, tiger! Yeah! 1227 01:26:58,360 --> 01:27:01,529 - I guess I better... - Morris. 1228 01:27:04,949 --> 01:27:07,869 Think you're gonna go here next year? 1229 01:27:07,994 --> 01:27:11,206 After this weekend, I kind of feel like I already do. 1230 01:27:11,331 --> 01:27:14,751 Plus, I already have a girlfriend lined up, so... 1231 01:27:14,876 --> 01:27:16,836 Yeah? And who's that? 1232 01:27:18,880 --> 01:27:22,467 Someone I met. She plays a mean game of quarters. 1233 01:27:24,052 --> 01:27:28,473 So I guess that means I'll be getting my photography lessons after all. 1234 01:27:48,660 --> 01:27:52,080 - So that's everything. - I guess we should get on the road. 1235 01:27:52,163 --> 01:27:54,374 Wait. You know what? Hang on. 1236 01:28:03,842 --> 01:28:06,094 All right, guys. Let's go home. 1237 01:28:19,858 --> 01:28:21,734 Here comes trouble. 1238 01:28:21,818 --> 01:28:25,572 - Hey, Kevin. - Hey, Gina. 1239 01:28:25,655 --> 01:28:27,991 So I got your video message. 1240 01:28:28,575 --> 01:28:30,577 Looks like you guys had a pretty crazy weekend. 1241 01:28:30,702 --> 01:28:32,036 Hell, yeah! 1242 01:28:34,038 --> 01:28:35,790 - Yeah! - Breath mint. 1243 01:28:38,168 --> 01:28:43,590 Anyway, well, it kind of made me think a lot 1244 01:28:43,673 --> 01:28:47,552 about you and me and, you know, us. 1245 01:28:49,304 --> 01:28:51,806 Why don't we just forget this whole break-up thing ever happened? 1246 01:28:51,890 --> 01:28:53,474 What do you say? 1247 01:28:55,268 --> 01:28:56,561 Well... 1248 01:28:59,856 --> 01:29:01,065 You know, 1249 01:29:02,984 --> 01:29:04,611 I don't think so. 1250 01:29:06,571 --> 01:29:09,741 - What? - Yeah, you see, I've moved on. 1251 01:29:11,701 --> 01:29:15,788 Moved on? We've only been broken up for, like, three days. 1252 01:29:15,914 --> 01:29:18,833 Yeah, well, a lot can happen in three days. 1253 01:29:19,208 --> 01:29:25,381 And, Gina, that guy you saw? Yeah, that's not really me. 1254 01:29:26,591 --> 01:29:28,927 Well, see you around. 1255 01:29:29,052 --> 01:29:32,221 And get a boob job, Gina. Lift. 1256 01:29:33,973 --> 01:29:37,769 Kevin! Wait! Seriously! 1257 01:29:42,523 --> 01:29:45,360 So what do you guys want to do next weekend? 1258 01:29:45,443 --> 01:29:48,446 Next weekend? Aren't you grounded for, like, the next six months? 1259 01:29:48,529 --> 01:29:51,532 Fuck that! No problem. I can just sneak out. 1260 01:29:53,201 --> 01:29:56,704 You know, I've got a cousin that goes to U of I. 1261 01:30:12,595 --> 01:30:15,640 I'll pay you $5 a sniff, either one of your farts. 1262 01:30:15,765 --> 01:30:19,394 I just want to cherish your gaseous fumes. 1263 01:30:19,519 --> 01:30:21,437 It can be a birthday present. My birthday's coming up! 1264 01:30:21,854 --> 01:30:23,606 Yeah! Lost my shoe. 1265 01:30:26,401 --> 01:30:28,277 Dude, you gotta see the shots I got from last night's game. 1266 01:30:28,403 --> 01:30:30,822 I got one where Stoloff is mid-air right over the inset... 1267 01:30:30,947 --> 01:30:33,658 Insectercide? Whatever the hell... What the... 1268 01:30:35,701 --> 01:30:39,455 Dean Chandler has denied our petition, and we're still on probation. 1269 01:30:39,580 --> 01:30:41,082 - Shit. - Yeah. 1270 01:30:41,249 --> 01:30:42,542 Okay, cut! 1271 01:30:44,961 --> 01:30:48,506 Our camping trips? Our... The school... 1272 01:30:48,589 --> 01:30:50,758 Thing that was awesome that we did together. Remember that? 1273 01:30:50,883 --> 01:30:53,344 It was you and me. What's the line? 1274 01:30:55,638 --> 01:30:59,100 Looks like my years of hard work have finally paid off! 1275 01:31:00,977 --> 01:31:01,936 What's the matter, Morris? 1276 01:31:02,019 --> 01:31:04,397 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 1277 01:31:04,480 --> 01:31:08,151 I've taken some whip-its, you know, the cracker shit. 1278 01:31:12,071 --> 01:31:14,323 Whatever, man. You guys are lightweights. I don't feel shit. 1279 01:31:14,449 --> 01:31:18,828 - Mom's a lightweight. - Here... Fuck you, dude! 1280 01:31:20,371 --> 01:31:22,456 Well, it doesn't have to be. 1281 01:31:27,378 --> 01:31:28,671 Is that our stuff? 1282 01:31:28,796 --> 01:31:31,632 Yeah. They even threw all our rubbers in. 1283 01:31:32,466 --> 01:31:34,886 Those scrotum-eating baby rapers. 1284 01:31:37,013 --> 01:31:39,390 Those taint-sucking ball junkies. 1285 01:31:45,021 --> 01:31:47,481 Those jizz-guzzling monkey fuckers. 1286 01:31:52,528 --> 01:31:55,114 You sucked in Austin Powers. Mike Myers carried you. 1287 01:31:55,198 --> 01:31:57,200 You didn't even say nothing, bitch. 1288 01:31:57,325 --> 01:31:59,911 Dude, you're doing it wrong, anyway. You gotta flip it, bitch. 1289 01:32:00,036 --> 01:32:01,495 Fucking beat you... 1290 01:32:04,457 --> 01:32:07,376 Dude, this is so much better than the brochure. 1291 01:32:07,501 --> 01:32:09,295 I know, man. I've got a good feeling about this. 1292 01:32:09,378 --> 01:32:13,758 - I'm sorry, K.B. just said he had a boner. - He said he had a boner. 1293 01:32:13,841 --> 01:32:15,176 Can we cut? Cut. 1294 01:32:15,760 --> 01:32:17,845 I've got to ask you a favor. 1295 01:32:18,763 --> 01:32:20,348 You know that book about the mice 1296 01:32:20,473 --> 01:32:23,643 that Miss Dangle is asking everybody to read? 1297 01:32:23,726 --> 01:32:26,312 - That's way too much cereal. - Swallow. 1298 01:32:28,230 --> 01:32:30,733 Twin powers, activate! 1299 01:32:31,984 --> 01:32:36,238 Form of a screaming... Screaming manimal! 1300 01:32:40,534 --> 01:32:44,622 Bearcat's gay and he wants to do me 1301 01:32:45,790 --> 01:32:49,961 I'm gonna punch his face And then he'll sue me 1302 01:32:51,253 --> 01:32:55,091 I'm going home with pussy on my pee-pee 1303 01:32:56,300 --> 01:33:03,057 Gonna tell my friends That college is the shitty, yeah 1304 01:33:04,600 --> 01:33:06,060 Eat that shit 1305 01:33:06,143 --> 01:33:07,395 And cut! 1306 01:34:12,293 --> 01:34:13,335 Subtitles by LeapinLar 99742