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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,575 Arliss: For most of us, 2 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:16,216 the dream of becoming a champion 3 00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:17,952 remains a fantasy. 4 00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:20,547 But for a special few, 5 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,060 it is very much a reality. 6 00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:24,392 We cheer them. 7 00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:25,987 We live through them. 8 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:29,059 Athletes are our last warriors. 9 00:00:29,128 --> 00:00:32,598 My job is to make their dreams come true. 10 00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:36,173 My name is Arliss Michaels. 11 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,436 I represent athletes. 12 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:39,665 These are my stories. 13 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:43,379 ♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪ 14 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:46,883 ♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪ 15 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:50,376 ♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪ 16 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:54,050 ♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪ 17 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,860 ♪ It happens to be true ♪ 18 00:00:57,924 --> 00:01:01,494 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 19 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,931 ♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪ 20 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:08,668 ♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪ 21 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,135 ♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪ 22 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:15,735 ♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪ 23 00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:19,378 ♪ No matter what you do ♪ 24 00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:22,145 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 25 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:24,783 Uh-huh. 26 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,151 Ha-ha-ha-huh. I got it. 27 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,820 All 200 acres. 28 00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:30,088 Great, close this deal fast. 29 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,316 No no no, faster than that. 30 00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,661 Send the papers over n... owww! 31 00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:36,356 Jeez, what was your last job, slicing beef? 32 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,629 Ahh... very very funny, Arliss. 33 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:42,138 All right, you are officially flu free for another year. 34 00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:45,241 Okay, I've cleared everyone's schedule for tomorrow's meeting. 35 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:46,635 What meeting? 36 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:48,466 My Enhance presentation. 37 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,341 Enhance, this isn't another one of your 38 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,310 cleanse your karma, clean your body things, is it? 39 00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:55,379 It's a revolutionary new product. 40 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,248 You'll want our clients endorsing it. 41 00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:58,847 How...! Revolutionary? 42 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,588 I'll tell you when we're all together. 43 00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:01,793 Can't wait. 44 00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:03,264 (giggles) 45 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,123 Stanley, I'm goin' to Ken Wynn's reception. 46 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,731 I'll be back in a couple hours. 47 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,963 Since when are you interested in state politics? 48 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,198 Since I have a former client who's a state assemblyman. 49 00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:13,104 Uh, former state assemblyman. 50 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,926 He's still got four more days in office, 51 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:18,611 four glorious, productive days. 52 00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:22,136 Make sure the wuss gets his shot. 53 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:30,049 Uh... when you come up for air, it's time for your flu shot. 54 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,746 I don't do flu shots. 55 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,518 Well, you should, you took 35 sick days last year. 56 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,517 Yeah, but I wasn't sick. 57 00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:37,619 You big baby! 58 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:38,760 It's just a little needle. 59 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,285 No, no, I don't do needles! 60 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,130 Not big ones, not short ones, not any ones. 61 00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,426 I don't like the needle, I don't like the syringe, 62 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,568 I don't even like those little alcohol pads. 63 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:48,874 It doesn't hurt. 64 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,035 You gotta get over this phobia. 65 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,844 It's not a phobia, it's a fuckin' fear! 66 00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:55,036 Ooh! Scared? 67 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,208 Little needle? Stop it! 68 00:02:56,275 --> 00:02:57,315 - Little pinprick? - Oh... you know... 69 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,313 Ooh, little pinprick, ouch! Ooh, ooh, football. 70 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:00,579 Ooh! 71 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,377 It's great to see so many of you 72 00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,518 turned out on a very warm day. 73 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,524 I hope you're all sufficiently liquored up. 74 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:07,986 (laughter) 75 00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:11,258 This thank you party is for a man I believed in 76 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:14,894 ever since he was quarterback of my beloved SC. 77 00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:17,731 After two terms as the best goddamn assemblyman 78 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:21,367 this state's ever seen, he's stepping down. 79 00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:24,274 But hopefully... not out. 80 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,967 Will you welcome my friend, 81 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,809 our friend, Ken Wynn? 82 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:28,944 Kenny, get up here. 83 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:32,078 (applause) 84 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,145 Thanks. 85 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:36,822 (applause continues) 86 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,183 Ken: Thank you all so much. 87 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,021 Especially like to thank our host, 88 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,316 Eli Narrow, 89 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,557 for allowing us to use his principality. 90 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,393 (laughter) 91 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:49,198 And I decree you shall all enjoy your asses off. 92 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:52,372 I've been asked why I've decided not to run again. 93 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:55,402 Especially because there's more work to be done. 94 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:58,168 Better pay for teachers... 95 00:03:58,237 --> 00:03:59,737 single payer health care, 96 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:00,806 and above all, 97 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:05,040 stricter laws to prohibit the sale of handguns 98 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:07,481 under any circumstances! 99 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,477 (applause) 100 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:13,019 But after I cast my final vote in Sacramento this week, 101 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,646 I'm gonna take some time off. 102 00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:18,761 (audience muttering) 103 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,325 Hey, why didn't you react like this 104 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,563 when I retired from the Rams, huh? 105 00:04:22,628 --> 00:04:24,628 Because you were four and 12. 106 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,467 (laughter) 107 00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,042 Ahhh, state legislature's gonna miss you, Kenny. 108 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,612 You know, I'm gonna miss it too, Arliss, 109 00:04:30,636 --> 00:04:32,306 I did a lotta good work there. 110 00:04:32,371 --> 00:04:34,091 Well, you still got one more vote on Friday, 111 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,180 a not so unimportant one, I might add. 112 00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,012 I assume you bought the land. 113 00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:39,747 Every square foot of it. 114 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,312 So are we still on for Friday night? 115 00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:42,920 I'm taking care of my end here. 116 00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,952 Arliss... you're not trying to talk my boy 117 00:04:45,017 --> 00:04:46,347 into playing again, are you? 118 00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:47,719 Actually, with the talent pool 119 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,127 what it is today, he probably could. 120 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,255 C'mon, with my knees. 121 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,763 Bullshit, you were the best quarterback S.C. ever had. 122 00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,285 You'd be the best governor the state ever had. 123 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,501 Hey, Eli... are you really gonna personally fund 124 00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:00,274 a new football stadium for S.C.? 125 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,003 If the NFL will grant me the Los Angeles franchise. 126 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,299 So, that's gonna run what, 127 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,740 about... billion dollars? 128 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:07,906 Closer to two billion. 129 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,324 You know, a billion here, a billion there, 130 00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,942 pretty soon you're talki" serious money. 131 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,281 Of course, it won't hurt 132 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,816 if I get some tax breaks from the state. 133 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,582 Friends helpin' friends? 134 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,790 Eli: That's the way it works. 135 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,691 - (Eli/Ken chuckling) - C'mon, I flew in Kobe from Japan. 136 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:23,364 What was he doin' there? 137 00:05:23,422 --> 00:05:25,092 Kobe beef, not Bryant. 138 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,228 - Huh... - (laughing) 139 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,762 Eli: Sports agents. 140 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,127 For thousands of years, 141 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:32,625 women have gone to extraordinary lengths to attract men. 142 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,397 Corsets. 143 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:39,073 Extreme footwear. 144 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:40,738 Breast augmentation. 145 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,237 And most recently... 146 00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:44,539 Botox. 147 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:47,350 - Ooh... - Meanwhile, men have had to make do 148 00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,783 With their God-given looks 149 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:52,248 and their wallets to attract the opposite sex. 150 00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,416 That is, until now. 151 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,432 Behold... "Enhance." 152 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:00,792 The miracle... 153 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,200 wonder pants! 154 00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:06,504 You've got to be kidding. 155 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:09,266 If we provide clients as spokesmodels, 156 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,895 Enhance people will give AMM 157 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,710 six percent of the gross. 158 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,042 Six percent. 159 00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:17,477 Rita, our clients aren't gonna endorse this! 160 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,413 It's a sensitive area. 161 00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,608 And it deserves attention. 162 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:22,921 This is a way to package... 163 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,652 the package. 164 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,817 What client's gonna wanna admit 165 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,746 that he has a little dick and needs this? 166 00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,561 Hey, I do not have a little dick! 167 00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:31,623 For one. 168 00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,227 Kirby. 169 00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:34,362 Kirby! 170 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,427 Uhh! 171 00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:36,664 Rough night? 172 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,869 Oh, no. Uh... 173 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,171 Mr. Michaels, there's a special courier in your office. 174 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,144 Ooh, ooh, uh, Stanley, I need a check cut to J & M Realty 175 00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:47,313 for 1.2 million dollars ASAP! 176 00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:49,013 Arliss, what about my deal? 177 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,305 Good luck. 178 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,548 Jesus Christ! 179 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,354 Sign here. 180 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:57,545 Initial here. 181 00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,517 Mm! Bill Romanowski, 182 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,145 How's the Raiders' lethal linebacker? 183 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,290 Great, how you doin', Arliss, what's up? 184 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,726 Look, I'm, uh, having a little dinner party 185 00:07:05,791 --> 00:07:07,131 for Kenny Wynn Friday night, 186 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,703 and I'd really appreciate it if you could fly in to make it. 187 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:10,802 Ken Wynn. 188 00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,113 I remember when I knocked the piss 189 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,431 outta of that little shit in my rookie season. 190 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,370 Ancient history, he's a big fan of yours. 191 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,095 He is? 192 00:07:18,170 --> 00:07:19,510 Okay, I'll do it. 193 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:22,612 Great, I'll e-mail you the particulars. (chuckles) 194 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:23,875 Here's your check. 195 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,513 Uh, here's your check. 196 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,308 Thank you. 197 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,280 So, uh... 198 00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,118 what did you buy from J & M Realty? 199 00:07:31,183 --> 00:07:33,163 Oh, I just made a little land purchase in Apple Valley. 200 00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:34,445 Apple Valley, ucch! 201 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,930 There's nothin' out there except scorpions 202 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,385 and the Roy Rogers museum. 203 00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:39,956 I got a tip they might be developing there. 204 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,886 Developing what? 205 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,831 A gated community. Lodging for 2,000. 206 00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,427 And I guarantee you some of our clients 207 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,069 will wind up spending time there. 208 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,844 Did I mention the exercise yard? 209 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:51,702 Exercise yard, huh. 210 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,511 Sounds like they're building a prison. 211 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,081 No, you're not. 212 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,853 On Friday afternoon, my friend Ken Wynn 213 00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:03,422 will cast a swing vote to put a state prison in... 214 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,952 Apple Valley! 215 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,787 The state will then pay moi, 216 00:08:06,852 --> 00:08:09,322 three times what moi paid for it. 217 00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:11,758 A little bling bling for the new Sing Sing. 218 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,264 Nice friend you have. 219 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,526 Great friend I have. 220 00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:16,063 And he'll make a great governor. 221 00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:17,158 Governor? 222 00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:19,169 That's right, and keep Friday night open. 223 00:08:19,231 --> 00:08:20,531 Ken's gonna launch his campaign. 224 00:08:20,599 --> 00:08:22,839 I've invited a select group of clients over to his house, 225 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,542 so Ken can get to know them, 226 00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:25,843 understand their problems. 227 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,705 Put the touch on them for money. 228 00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:30,313 Oh, believe me, he'll touch on an issue close to their wallets. 229 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:32,876 Oh... which reminds me, I need Jerry Colangelo's phone number. 230 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:34,205 Okay. 231 00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,778 What's the matter with you? 232 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,049 You're sweatin' like a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. 233 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:40,148 Goddammit, are you sick? 234 00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,119 You should've taken that flu shot. 235 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,518 You didn't take your flu shot? 236 00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,519 It's hot in here, I'm fine. 237 00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:46,871 Well, be sure you're fine Friday. 238 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,396 Yeah... try going to bed Thursday. 239 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:55,031 You're the shooting star of the shooting guards. 240 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,301 You are Reggie Miller. You're a confident man, 241 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,870 a secure man, a man others want to emulate. 242 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,010 True. 243 00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,484 Yes, you are the total package. 244 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:08,583 Which is why you're the one to reinvent the package. 245 00:09:08,647 --> 00:09:09,677 Behold... 246 00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,852 You have got to be kidding me. 247 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,320 I don't need that. 248 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,419 No! Of course you don't. 249 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,391 But say you're, uh, swimming in the ocean, 250 00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,059 and the water's really cold? 251 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,828 Don't you wanna look right when you get back to the hotel? 252 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,427 Are you saying I have a small johnson? 253 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,599 No, no no no. 254 00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:29,476 Yes, you are, you're sayi" I have a small johnson. 255 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:30,602 No, I... I... I... I... 256 00:09:30,669 --> 00:09:33,169 You must think I'm a point guard. Here, look for yourself. 257 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,109 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, thank you! 258 00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,712 You know, you may talk like a liberal, 259 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,081 but you sure eat like a conservative. 260 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:47,490 Sarah... thanks so much, you outdid yourself again. 261 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:48,823 Thank you, Mr. Wynn. 262 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:49,888 How's your son? 263 00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,215 Any word yet from Berkeley? 264 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:52,690 Oh, he got in. 265 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,728 That letter you wrote must have helped. 266 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:57,104 Having you as a mother helped. 267 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,231 Nicest part of the job, 268 00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,569 Being able to help a kid like that. 269 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:03,705 Of course, now I gotta give 270 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,206 the commencement address at Berkeley this year. 271 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,542 Friends helping friends. 272 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:11,738 C'mon, I wanna show you something. 273 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:19,085 (Arliss chuckles) 274 00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,991 Hey, check this one out. 275 00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:23,363 Oh, nice. 276 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:24,462 Who's R.F.? 277 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:25,933 Robert Ford. 278 00:10:25,991 --> 00:10:28,261 The man who shot Jesse James in the back. 279 00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:30,697 Fitting for a politician, don't you think? 280 00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:31,903 Yeah. 281 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,934 Eli gave this to me from his collection. 282 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,500 My first day in office. 283 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,639 Guess you better keep your collection under wraps, 284 00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:41,144 at least until the polls show differently. 285 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,007 So where are you on Friday night? 286 00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:44,735 Okay, we got Tyrone Wheatley, 287 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,310 Bill Romanowski, and Jeremy Roenick. 288 00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:49,649 And where are you Friday afternoon? 289 00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,685 In Sacramento, makin' you richer. 290 00:10:52,751 --> 00:10:54,851 Friends helping friends. 291 00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:59,463 You know, Arliss... 292 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:02,725 my last campaign cost less than a million. 293 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:05,525 Runnin' for governor is gonna be 20 times that. 294 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,468 Different game, different rules. 295 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:10,573 I wish I didn't have to be a slave to the polls. 296 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,506 It shouldn't be a goddamn popularity contest. 297 00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:16,812 Kenny... all elections are popularity contests. 298 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,146 I don't care if it's the president of the United States, 299 00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:21,181 the Academy Awards, or the prom queen. 300 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,417 The most popular person at that point, wins. 301 00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:26,123 It's all in the game. 302 00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:30,723 ♪ Many a tear has to fall ♪ 303 00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:32,659 ♪ Doo doo mm doo doo ♪ 304 00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:36,355 ♪ But it's all in the game ♪ 305 00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:39,098 ♪ Doo doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo ♪ 306 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,900 (both laughing) 307 00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:46,808 I'm sorry to interrupt you. Mr. Eli Narrow is on hold. 308 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,272 Oh, thank you, Sarah. 309 00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:53,384 Hello, Eli. 310 00:11:53,445 --> 00:11:55,545 Ken, you see the Times today? 311 00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:58,854 Big article on gun control. You are quoted at length. 312 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,648 Terrific, what section? 313 00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:01,849 Right where you should be, 314 00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:02,921 Front page. 315 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,355 Front page of the L.A. Times. 316 00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:05,423 Good. 317 00:12:05,457 --> 00:12:07,557 By the way, something you should think about... 318 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,528 Uh-huh. 319 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,726 ♪ Soon he'll be there by your side ♪ 320 00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:20,609 ♪ With a sweet, okay, doo doo, doo doo doo doo ♪ 321 00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:25,678 Your girlfriend won't think you have a small penis, 322 00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,214 she knows what you al... 323 00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,649 (dial tone) 324 00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:32,693 Ha ha! No takers. 325 00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,021 What did you expect? 326 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,916 What are you doing with Kirby's boots? 327 00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,788 I found them on the copy machine. 328 00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:39,286 What? 329 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:43,528 All right, big guy, looking good. 330 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,526 Rita what do I do when I get these women home? 331 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,068 Do I take it off or leave it on? 332 00:12:47,132 --> 00:12:48,702 I'm leaving. 333 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,737 Kirby, you left your... 334 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,874 What the hell are you doing? 335 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,639 They were cleaning the restrooms. 336 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,038 And you couldn't wait. 337 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,749 Hey, you hungry, you wanna grab some lunch? 338 00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:01,077 I just had... breakfast. 339 00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:02,276 Me, too. 340 00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:03,728 But I feel like a burger and a shake. 341 00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:07,219 Here are your boots, try not to shit in them. 342 00:13:10,522 --> 00:13:12,562 Luis, it's gonna be a guy's night out, 343 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,625 Dinner, a few laughs, a couple of 12-ounce curls. 344 00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,334 Yeah, okay, count me in. 345 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,296 Now, what's up with my contract extension? 346 00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,405 Okay, that's my next call. 347 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,476 Colangelo wants to give you 348 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,070 a two-year extension for 15 million. 349 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,765 Now, Arliss, you know I should get 20. 350 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,067 Of course you should, and don't worry, you will get 20. 351 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,009 Arliss Michaels will never sell you short. 352 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,584 See you in a few hours. 353 00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:34,984 Kirby, I need Jerry Colangelo's phone number, now! 354 00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:38,477 So, Leavenworth Larry, still working the phones, ey? 355 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,950 I'm almost home. 356 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,260 And so is Ken from Sacramento. 357 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:47,392 You are the great and powerful warden of Oz. 358 00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,129 Arliss. 359 00:13:49,194 --> 00:13:51,664 I got, uh, Jerry Colangelo's cell phone number. 360 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:52,770 Great, thanks. 361 00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,331 I hope you washed your hands. 362 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,000 Fuck you. 363 00:13:58,137 --> 00:13:59,467 Arliss... 364 00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,568 I don't like to do this, but, uh... 365 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,710 I think Kirby's on something. 366 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,576 Why would you say that? 367 00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,584 Oh, merely an empirical observation 368 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,716 of his completely fucked up behavior. 369 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,752 Ah, that's just Kirby. 370 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:13,847 Probably got the goddamn flu. 371 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:17,319 Oh, the China white flu, the Peruvian flake strain? 372 00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:18,789 The eight ball sniffle? 373 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:21,287 Do you mind? Jerry, hi, Arliss, look, before you say a word, 374 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,730 I just got off the phone with Luis. 375 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,295 Now, he wants 20 million, 376 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,863 but I'll get him down to 17.5, 377 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,431 but only if you do me a favor tonight. 378 00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,499 Like, go to a party for Ken Wynn? 379 00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:30,798 Exactly! 380 00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:32,939 How did you know that? 381 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,065 Is this Jerry Colangelo? 382 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:37,039 No, Arliss, it's Gonzo, Luis Gonzalez. 383 00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:38,749 I... I can't hear you, I got a terrible connection. 384 00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:39,847 (imitates static) 385 00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:42,012 You're not gonna sell me short, huh? 386 00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,521 Go to hell, Arliss, you're fired. 387 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,228 Kirby! 388 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:56,957 Don't lie to me, are you on drugs? 389 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,459 What? No. 390 00:14:58,530 --> 00:14:59,870 Don't lie to me! 391 00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,132 I'm not lying. 392 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,400 You just gave me Gonzo's number instead of Colangelo's. 393 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,470 I did? 394 00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:06,544 Yeah, you did. 395 00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:07,665 And he fired us! 396 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,910 Oh, shit, I'm sorry. 397 00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,194 You cost me a lot of fucking money, 398 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,449 Now what the hell's going on with you? 399 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:14,177 I don't know, I think I might be allergic to something. 400 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,706 Yeah, competency! 401 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:17,031 Now, listen to me, this dinner tonight 402 00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:18,619 Is very, very important. 403 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:19,934 You better have your shit together. 404 00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,492 No mistakes, no excuses. 405 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:23,463 I've got to know that I can count on you. 406 00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:24,822 Can I? 407 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,830 Yes, you can. 408 00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:29,132 Don't just say yes, you're sure? 409 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:31,064 I'm sure. 410 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,230 You better be. 411 00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:38,965 (jazz music playing) 412 00:15:39,037 --> 00:15:41,267 Enjoy. Enjoy, have a good time. 413 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,980 Hey, let me top you off there. 414 00:15:43,041 --> 00:15:45,611 Okay, cheers, drink up, drink up, whoo. 415 00:15:45,677 --> 00:15:47,377 A Jeremy Roenick original. 416 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,346 Now, Kirby, I'd better not see that on ebay. 417 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,275 Oh, no, no, no, you won't, here you go. 418 00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,990 Don't forget your drink, all right, okay. 419 00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:56,522 Okay, here's for Daytona, here's for Talladega. 420 00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:57,658 Enjoy. 421 00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:00,293 Hey, don't drink that while you're driving. 422 00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:01,589 Tyrone Wheatley, 423 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:03,630 how's the bangin' back of the silver and black? 424 00:16:03,695 --> 00:16:05,755 I'm hungry. Where's Ken? 425 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,631 Does he know you invited us to his house? 426 00:16:07,699 --> 00:16:08,699 Oh, he's on his way. 427 00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,484 You know, Sacramento Airport's always jammed. 428 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,972 Hey, fellas. Sorry I'm late. 429 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,708 Hope you animals left me some food. 430 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:17,283 (chuckling) Plenty. 431 00:16:17,342 --> 00:16:19,012 Good to see you, Ken. 432 00:16:19,077 --> 00:16:20,207 Did you vote? 433 00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,559 - Sure did. - Goodie, let's get going. 434 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,650 - Great. - Guys, guys, gather 'round, 435 00:16:23,715 --> 00:16:25,875 Gather 'round, gather 'round. 436 00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:27,491 Look, I called you over here tonight 437 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:31,263 because as athletes, you all share a common bond, 438 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:34,663 one that those who have never competed will never understand. 439 00:16:34,726 --> 00:16:37,326 When one of us needs help, we're all there for him. 440 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:38,456 Damn right! 441 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:39,600 All: Yeah... 442 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,735 Well, one of us needs your help. 443 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,096 Ken? 444 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,898 This can't leave the room. 445 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,770 But I couldn't think of a better group to tell first. 446 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,280 I've decided to run for governor of California. 447 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,612 Oh... God, all right, huh? 448 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,948 That's great Ken. 449 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,612 But none of us live in California. 450 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,921 Exactly. 451 00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:58,032 A lot of you are from here, 452 00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,130 You spend most of your time here, 453 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,521 Yet you don't live here, how come? 454 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:01,686 All: Taxes. 455 00:17:01,753 --> 00:17:02,793 Taxes! 456 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,325 You live in Florida, you live in Nevada, 457 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,156 You live in Texas, for God's sake, why? 458 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,985 Because they have no state income tax there. 459 00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:10,561 Damn right. 460 00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:13,329 But what if you could live in California? 461 00:17:13,398 --> 00:17:16,738 If I'm elected governor, I'm gonna make it my priority 462 00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:19,712 to repeal the California state income tax. 463 00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:20,941 Right on! 464 00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:22,736 Hell, yeah, right on. 465 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:25,038 Now, look, putting Ken in the governor's mansion's 466 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,450 gonna take a lot of work. 467 00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:30,822 And more importantly a lot, a lot of financial support. 468 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,983 How much do you need? 469 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,590 $50,000 a piece. 470 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:34,852 A piece? 471 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,800 I know it's a lot of money, but you're gonna make it back 472 00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:37,892 tenfold over your career. 473 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:40,156 Boy, I like that math, I'm in! 474 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,355 I'm in too. 475 00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:43,456 Well, hell, if they're in, I'm in too. 476 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,309 But, hey, Arliss, I didn't bring my checkbook with me. 477 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,670 Oh, no problem, I can take Visa, Master Card, 478 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:51,173 American Express, no Diners Club, please. 479 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,836 "FOK"? What's "FOK"? 480 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,035 Oh, that's F-O-K, Friends of Ken. 481 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:57,007 Just sign right there, yes, who's next? 482 00:17:57,075 --> 00:17:59,475 Me! But I'm not putting in 50k. 483 00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,505 Raiders offense puts in 50k, 484 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,880 Raiders defense puts in 100k. 485 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,349 Hey, are you gonna take that? 486 00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,387 C'mon, man, go right up, don't be a pussy. 487 00:18:07,452 --> 00:18:08,452 140. 488 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,220 Ooooh! 140, ooh... 489 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,319 145! 490 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,590 Ching-ching, ching-ching, ching-ching, 491 00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:14,729 ching-ching. 492 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:15,793 Kirby: Yes! 493 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,666 You done good tonight, pal. 494 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:25,804 Ah, it was like shootin' fish in a barrel. 495 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,311 Ooh, yeah. 496 00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:30,213 Check out this Colt. 497 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,535 - You see that R.F.? - Mm-hm. 498 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,610 Roberta Flack. 499 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,148 Aahhh! 500 00:18:34,212 --> 00:18:35,252 (makes shooting noise) 501 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:41,246 So, you wanted $400,000, I got you almost eight. 502 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,190 Awesome, I don't know how I'll ever repay you. 503 00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:46,626 You already have, mon frere. 504 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,162 Arliss, we gotta talk. 505 00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:52,197 Oh, no, we need to sing. 506 00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:55,774 ♪ Many a tear has to fall ♪ 507 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,994 ♪ But it's all... ♪ 508 00:18:57,987 --> 00:19:00,137 I voted against the prison in Apple Valley. 509 00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,505 You did what? 510 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:04,243 Last night, when I got the call from Eli, 511 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,379 he told me that the latest polls show 512 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:09,375 that the people in Apple Valley don't want a prison. 513 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,617 I can't risk losing those votes. 514 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:16,086 It was good advice. 515 00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:17,364 For you maybe! 516 00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:18,632 But what the fuck am I supposed to do 517 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,027 with 200 acres in the desert? 518 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:21,892 Look, we'll work something out later. 519 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,300 I won't forget this. 520 00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:24,832 You already forgot this! 521 00:19:24,896 --> 00:19:26,826 I mean, FOK, Friends of Ken, 522 00:19:26,898 --> 00:19:27,928 well, you sure fucked me! 523 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,970 It's just politics, Arliss, you said yourself, 524 00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:32,536 different game, different rules. 525 00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:34,944 No, no, no, it's the same rule, the Golden Rule. 526 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,177 Eli's got the gold, so he makes the rules. 527 00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:39,352 I notice you didn't tell me 'til you already had all their money! 528 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,648 Arliss, shit happens. 529 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:42,713 - The... - (gunshot) 530 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:44,018 Aah! 531 00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:45,252 Arliss? 532 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,491 (moaning) 533 00:19:51,556 --> 00:19:53,086 He's coming around. 534 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:54,658 (muttering) Fr... Friends of Ken... 535 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,004 Friends of Ken... 536 00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:59,362 Oh, I can't believe he was shot. 537 00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:02,071 It was only a matter of time. 538 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,965 Am I in heaven? 539 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,467 No, Cedars. 540 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,168 You're a lucky man, Mr. Michaels. 541 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,710 The bullet passed right through your thigh. 542 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,936 Now, you make sure he stays off his feet. 543 00:20:14,312 --> 00:20:15,682 Ahh... 544 00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,315 Oh, Arliss. 545 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,693 Oh, don't cry, Rita, I'll be okay. 546 00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:23,192 Yeah, she's only crying because her Wonder Pants deal deflated. 547 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,421 I am not. 548 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,525 Where is he? 549 00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:31,861 Where's Kirby? 550 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,630 He's in a room across the hall. 551 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:35,800 Aaaah! 552 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,277 Arliss, there's something you should know. 553 00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,472 I know I'm gonna kill him. 554 00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,637 Arliss... 555 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:40,765 Kirby! 556 00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:41,839 Stanley: Arliss! 557 00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:42,873 Kirby, where are you? 558 00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,011 Arliss! 559 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,076 Rita: His flap is open. 560 00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:47,280 I'm gonna kill you, you cocksucker! 561 00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:48,875 Ooh. 562 00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,177 Get out...! 563 00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:51,318 Hey! 564 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:54,528 The doctor wants to start you 565 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:58,123 on two insulin shots a day, six units each. 566 00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,860 You should start feeling normal again. 567 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,185 Does it have to be injected, 568 00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:02,629 I can't take a pill or something? 569 00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:05,164 Sorry, not with type 1 diabetes. 570 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:07,200 Now, after you load the syringe, 571 00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:10,165 pinch some stomach fat and just pop it in. 572 00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:11,765 Do you want me to do it for you? 573 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:15,867 No... no, I... I'm gonna have to do it, so... 574 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,411 might as well do it. 575 00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:19,206 Hey. 576 00:21:19,277 --> 00:21:22,877 Sure hope the food's better on this side of the hall. 577 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,718 Arliss, I'm really sorry that I shot you, 578 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,294 I didn't know the gun was loaded. 579 00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:28,892 It's okay, I'll live. 580 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,094 Barely. 581 00:21:31,656 --> 00:21:33,826 Can you believe this shit? 582 00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:36,062 I mean, I've always thought of myself as an athlete, 583 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,798 You know, strong, healthy... 584 00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:41,004 Christ, n... now this. 585 00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,536 Hey... you brush your teeth twice a day, 586 00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:45,842 you'll inject yourself twice a day, no big deal. 587 00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,074 I hate needles. 588 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,410 I hate snakes. 589 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,714 Really? I don't mind snakes. 590 00:21:57,282 --> 00:22:00,452 One, two, three! 591 00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:03,894 Okay, it's no problem we'll go again. 592 00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,285 Ready? Ready, on three. 593 00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:08,327 One, two, three! 594 00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:09,563 Uhh! 595 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:13,330 Oh. 596 00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:14,728 Whew! 597 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,900 Ehh... that wasn't so bad. 598 00:22:16,968 --> 00:22:20,168 (laughs) No, I mean, first I shot you, and then I shot me. 599 00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:22,338 Knock, knock. Can we come in? 600 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:24,207 Hey, heard everyone's all right. 601 00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:25,606 Thank God. 602 00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:27,177 Yeah, I appreciate your concern. 603 00:22:27,245 --> 00:22:29,505 Arliss... we have a problem. 604 00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:31,781 Kirby's got diabetes and I almost lost my dick. 605 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:32,950 What's your problem? 606 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,018 If it gets out that it was Ken's gun that shot you 607 00:22:35,086 --> 00:22:37,616 in Ken's house, then it could hurt Ken's campaign. 608 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:40,589 If on the other hand, we say it was your gun, 609 00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:42,429 then it becomes an unfortunate accident, 610 00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:43,934 we all move on. 611 00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:46,695 What kind of an asshole keeps a loaded gun 612 00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:48,425 in his display cabinet? 613 00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,170 If, on the other hand, we say it was your gun, 614 00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:54,736 it becomes an unfortunate accident, we all move on. 615 00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:56,366 Tragedy in my own home, 616 00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:58,481 yet another reason for gun control. 617 00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,253 You know, Ken, why don't we go the other way? 618 00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:01,878 Why don't we really publicize this, 619 00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,147 and get out the NRA vote? 620 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,275 Gentlemen, we have to resolve this. 621 00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:07,890 Arliss, we can't let this little mishap 622 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:10,423 blow Ken's shot at the governor's mansion. 623 00:23:10,488 --> 00:23:14,088 Arliss, voters think I'm the total package. 624 00:23:15,126 --> 00:23:17,456 Why don't you two just go fuck yourself... 625 00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:19,469 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Kirby. 626 00:23:19,497 --> 00:23:21,797 Hold on a second. 627 00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:23,867 Maybe we can work this out. 628 00:23:23,935 --> 00:23:28,265 After all, it's just friends helping friends. 629 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:33,909 Hello, I'm Ken Wynn, former All-American 630 00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:36,919 former All-Pro, and former state assemblyman. 631 00:23:36,982 --> 00:23:39,852 So I know what it takes to break down the opposition. 632 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,788 That's why I'm suitin' up in Wonder Pants. 633 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:49,287 Beats the hell out of dodgin' tacklers and kissin' babies. 634 00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:53,331 Announcer: Wwwwwonder Pants! from Enhance. 635 00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:54,698 Project the power. 636 00:23:56,134 --> 00:23:59,174 But you know, he doesn't look as good as me. 637 00:23:59,237 --> 00:24:02,337 Rita, your candidate just, shall we say, 638 00:24:02,407 --> 00:24:04,607 Stuffed the ballet box. (chuckles) 639 00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:06,076 How's the groundbreaking coming? 640 00:24:06,144 --> 00:24:07,554 The Enhance people love the site. 641 00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:10,922 It's got good freeway access and lots of room for expansion. 642 00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:13,222 Hey, what kind of spider's that? 643 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:14,715 (screaming) 644 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:16,416 Rita, Rita? 645 00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:18,558 Here you go, Kirby. 646 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,593 Oh, I almost forgot, no alcohol for you. 647 00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:23,499 Hold on, that's only got three grams of carbohydrates. 648 00:24:23,561 --> 00:24:24,801 I can have half a glass. 649 00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:26,363 Half a glass it is. 650 00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:27,801 To the glass half full. 651 00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:29,326 To the glass... 652 00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:30,795 All: half full. 653 00:24:30,869 --> 00:24:33,309 My name is Arliss Michaels. 654 00:24:33,371 --> 00:24:35,241 I represent athletes. 655 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,707 These are my stories. 656 00:24:39,210 --> 00:24:41,510 ♪ He's a drunkard and a thief ♪ 657 00:24:41,579 --> 00:24:43,679 ♪ A devil and a priest ♪ 658 00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:47,018 ♪ Inside every angle, every sigh ♪ 659 00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,815 ♪♪ 660 00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:52,218 ♪ Better hope that you are quicker ♪ 661 00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:56,030 ♪ 'Cause he's not givin' any free rides ♪ 662 00:24:56,094 --> 00:24:58,904 ♪ His reputation's got around ♪ 663 00:24:58,964 --> 00:25:00,634 ♪ He's as rabid as a hound ♪ 664 00:25:00,699 --> 00:25:05,469 ♪ If there's a space then you better hide ♪ 665 00:25:05,537 --> 00:25:07,707 ♪ He's a trickster and a player ♪ 666 00:25:07,772 --> 00:25:09,742 ♪ And you haven't got a prayer ♪ 667 00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:13,878 ♪ If you think that he has a good side ♪ 668 00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:19,515 ♪ He's a fast-talkin' two-faced man ♪ 669 00:25:19,584 --> 00:25:22,894 ♪ Fast-talkin' two-faced man ♪ 670 00:25:22,954 --> 00:25:27,564 ♪♪ 671 00:25:32,831 --> 00:25:35,501 ♪ Ooh-ooh- ooh ♪ 672 00:25:40,839 --> 00:25:42,439 ♪ He probably sold his mother ♪ 673 00:25:42,507 --> 00:25:44,807 ♪ For the chance to con his brother ♪ 674 00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:48,946 ♪ And took every penny he had ♪ 675 00:25:49,014 --> 00:25:53,924 ♪♪ 676 00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:57,015 ♪ All while he was packin' his bags ♪ 677 00:25:57,088 --> 00:26:03,158 ♪ He's a fast-talkin' two-faced man ♪ 678 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:06,258 ♪ Fast-talkin' two-faced man ♪ 679 00:26:06,308 --> 00:26:10,858 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 47860

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