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1
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:03,140
.
2
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:06,500
- The bat is now contained,
but still very much alive.
3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,340
Human movement and noise
tends to agitate the animal.
4
00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:12,920
It will not bite the skin,
5
00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:16,660
but it will aggressively
attack the eyes.
6
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,220
So please do not use the
bathroom beside room number--
7
00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:22,590
- All right, everybody,
get out your lunches.
8
00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:25,250
Quickly. Come on. Let's go.
My local bagel shop
9
00:00:25,290 --> 00:00:27,320
decided to take the morning
off, so I'm starving.
10
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,360
Come on. I need to see
what Mommy packed.
11
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,470
- Feelin' a little hangry, huh?
- No, no, no, no, no.
12
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,940
That is such an annoying word.
Don't--don't do that.
13
00:00:33,970 --> 00:00:35,470
Now, get
back of the class, Marcus.
14
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,930
- Are you serious?
- Yes, I'm serious.
15
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,500
Go, now.
16
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,710
- [slams hand]
- [sighs] Just, I can't--
17
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,440
I can't do it
with you today, man.
18
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,280
Too hungry.
[percussive music]
19
00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,180
Naw, that's not gonna work.
Turn your desk around.
20
00:00:47,220 --> 00:00:49,960
I can't look at your face.
I just can't.
21
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:52,250
- "Hangry" means horny
and angry.
22
00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:54,560
Basically, you're so horny
that you're angry.
23
00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:56,230
- All right, that's still
not working for me.
24
00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:57,700
See that leak right there?
25
00:00:57,730 --> 00:00:59,270
Try and get ya
under that leak.
26
00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:00,790
All right? Get your body
under that leak.
27
00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:02,500
Not the desk.
Your body.
28
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,290
[chair scraping]
29
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,660
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!
That's perfect.
30
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:07,510
There we go. Now...
31
00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:10,410
if none of you are willing
to share your snacks with me...
32
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:11,610
then I'm off
to the vending machine
33
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,480
for a little dose of C-13:
34
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:15,450
Cape Cod Salt and Vinegar
potato chips.
35
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,650
Have you guys had 'em?
Yum!
36
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,390
Oh, and if Marcus moves,
37
00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:21,610
you all get detention.
38
00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:23,760
[Ramones'
"Listen to My Heart"]
39
00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:25,510
- One, two, three, four!
40
00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:28,380
- * Next time
I'll listen to my heart *
41
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:31,250
* Next time,
well, I'll be smart *
42
00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:38,330
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com
43
00:01:38,370 --> 00:01:41,010
[lightly suspenseful music]
44
00:01:41,030 --> 00:01:43,400
*
45
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,810
[beeping]
46
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,480
[thunk]
47
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,570
- Unsweetened Fruit Leather?
48
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,440
That's not what C-13 is.
49
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:55,790
Hey, Ralph, Ralph,
Ralph.
50
00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:57,460
Come here, man.
Hey,
51
00:01:57,490 --> 00:01:59,360
What the hell's
going on around here?
52
00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:01,560
- Oh, well, um...
between us,
53
00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:03,430
a moth laid eggs
54
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:05,330
in the auditorium curtain.
Now, they hatched...
55
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,670
- Mm-hmm.
- Now there's moths in the air.
56
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:09,330
What loves moths?
Bats...all right?
57
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,430
And I mean bats...plural.
58
00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:13,310
- I don't care. That's not
what I'm talking about.
59
00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:14,560
Where are my chips?
What is this?
60
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,570
- Oh! The student council
is responsible
61
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,430
for what goes
in the snack machine,
62
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:20,340
and they're doing this
really cool thing right now
63
00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:21,670
called Healthy Habits.
64
00:02:21,710 --> 00:02:23,550
- Okay, tell me,
what's your day lookin' like?
65
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:25,350
Pretty light?
- Puhh. Very busy.
66
00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:27,320
- Okay. Gonna need you
to shuffle some things around,
67
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:28,690
make getting my chips back
your number one.
68
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,620
- No, Jack. You do not
wanna get involved
69
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,480
with the student council.
'Kay? I-i-it's the most
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00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,350
toxically ambitious group
of students
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00:02:35,390 --> 00:02:37,330
all together in one room.
- [scoffs]
72
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,630
Come on, Ralph,
you're telling me
73
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:40,400
you're gonna be
intimidated by a group
74
00:02:40,430 --> 00:02:42,840
of overachieving virgins?
[both laughing]
75
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:45,530
- Yes.
76
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,700
[percussive suspenseful
music]
77
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:58,470
*
78
00:02:58,510 --> 00:02:59,680
[under breath]
All right.
79
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,510
Ah, good. Grace! Hi.
80
00:03:05,550 --> 00:03:07,780
Just the person
I wanted to speak to. Hey.
81
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,650
I'm gonna need you to get
my salt and vinegar chips
82
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,490
back in the vending
machines.
83
00:03:11,530 --> 00:03:13,670
[clicks tongue]
- Oh. I'm just the secretary.
84
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:16,830
I take notes.
I count votes during elections.
85
00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:18,830
If you wanna change
a policy,
86
00:03:18,870 --> 00:03:20,640
you need to talk to
the president.
87
00:03:20,670 --> 00:03:22,110
- [groans] Ugh.
All right, fine.
88
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,640
Who's the president?
89
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:24,770
[door opens]
90
00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:26,550
- You may take your seats.
91
00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:28,700
Let's get this baby started.
92
00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:30,840
[tense music]
93
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,790
- You gotta be kidding me.
94
00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:34,740
[dramatic percussion]
95
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,480
Tssss.
- Mr. Griffin,
96
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,660
you are more than welcome
to take a seat in the back.
97
00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:40,530
- That's cute.
Why don't we skip to the part
98
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:42,420
where I get what I want--
namely chips--
99
00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:43,860
back in the vending machines?
100
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,420
- Hmm. Well, unfortunately,
101
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:47,430
we do have a little bit
of an agenda.
102
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,430
First up on the list
is the discussion
103
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,690
of our new rooftop garden...
104
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,700
which I can confirm will be
generously sponsored
105
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:56,580
by Kasperak Motors.
106
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,630
Turns out, I had a connection.
107
00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:02,580
It's a joke.
They're my parents.
108
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,410
- You guys actually listen
to him?
109
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:05,920
- Hey, I have a mandate
from the student body.
110
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:08,690
I was elected in a landslide
over Scottie Deeks.
111
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,720
And he plays football.
- Yeah, well, I'm guessing
112
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,750
Scottie Deeks
sucks pretty hard.
113
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:15,650
All right, talk about
your stupid garden.
114
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,000
Go. Hurry.
- Thank you.
115
00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:18,890
Now, on to the selection
of vegetables.
116
00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:21,500
And you know what?
I think we should vote on them
117
00:04:21,530 --> 00:04:23,470
one by one, alphabetically.
118
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:24,870
Starting with alfalfa.
119
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,910
All in favor.
all: Aye.
120
00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:28,630
- Wow. Unanimous for alfalfa.
121
00:04:28,670 --> 00:04:32,480
Absolutely wonderful.
Next up will be...
122
00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,410
buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
123
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,810
You know what?
I...completely lost my place.
124
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,940
Grace, can you read back
the alfalfa results, please?
125
00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,590
- No. Hold on a second.
Chips. Okay?
126
00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:42,410
Why don't we do chips,
all right?
127
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:43,910
I'm an adult,
and I want chips,
128
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,750
so I get chips.
- Oh, my G--
129
00:04:45,790 --> 00:04:47,730
Oh, I know
what's going on here.
130
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,200
This isn't about chips at all.
- [scoffs] What?
131
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,420
- Fired from Harvard,
stuck in Toledo,
132
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,490
and these chips are just one
more thing you can't control.
133
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:56,940
All agreed?
all: Aye.
134
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,500
- Don't vote on that!
- Let's put an end to this
135
00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:01,760
right now.
All in favor of restoring
136
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,570
Salt and vinegar chips
to the vending machine...
137
00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:07,510
Victor.
138
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,470
Wow. Motion denied.
139
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,480
Sorry, Mr. Griffin.
140
00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:14,710
- Okay.
141
00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:16,620
Yeah, all right.
142
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,480
- Bye!
143
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,620
[dramatic percussion]
144
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:27,060
.
145
00:05:27,090 --> 00:05:29,420
- Now, you would agree
that looking good
146
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,090
also helps with feeling good?
147
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,170
- I suppose.
- And you would also agree
148
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,000
that more radiant skin
149
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,910
is preferable
to less radiant skin.
150
00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:39,650
- That's hard to argue with.
151
00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:42,100
- Then we agree!
Now,
152
00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:44,910
you are trying the shimmering
skin perfector.
153
00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:47,620
Mmm. Look at those undertones.
All right?
154
00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,060
Now, that is peaches
and cream!
155
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,520
Okay? Oh!
And is that the hand
156
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:54,820
of a teenage supermodel?
157
00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:56,530
- Seems kinda young
to be a supermodel.
158
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,930
- Look at that. Mm-mm.
So I'm gonna suggest
159
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,930
a six-month supply
of the perfector, okay?
160
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,930
along with the stain
and the concealer
161
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:07,170
and the rejuvenating serum.
162
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,860
Sounds good?
163
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,630
- [softly] Yeah.
- [weakly] Yes.
164
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:13,240
- Yes. Ooh!
Hold that thought,
165
00:06:13,270 --> 00:06:15,200
because pale Jennifer
is a gold mine.
166
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,840
I'll just need your orders
by the end of the week.
167
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,080
Jennifer,
hold on a minute!
168
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,980
Jennifer!
- Why is it so terrifying
169
00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:22,950
to say no to her?
Every time Stef
170
00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:24,950
get a new side hustle,
we end up spending money.
171
00:06:24,990 --> 00:06:27,060
And you know I'm trying
to save up for that houseboat.
172
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:28,260
- We have to stand up
to her.
173
00:06:28,290 --> 00:06:30,560
I've not cut a single
penny in half
174
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,090
with those scissors
she sold me.
175
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,000
That's just not a need
I have.
176
00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:35,900
[clock ticking]
177
00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:38,270
- Okay. Everyone
shut up immediately!
178
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,670
Today we're starting
a new revenge mission.
179
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,170
Our target...
180
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,870
boom.
181
00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:47,680
- Oy vey.
- Out!
182
00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,210
Go to the principal's
office right now.
183
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,110
You, too, you sycophantic
minions.
184
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,940
- But we...we didn't
do anything.
185
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,610
- Oh, you didn't do anything?
186
00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:56,920
I think ya did.
Ha ha ha.
187
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,250
Think you did, yeah.
188
00:06:58,290 --> 00:07:00,990
Yeah, hey, Durbin.
I gotta send three kids
189
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,120
to your office right now.
190
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,330
Why? They were kissing
each other.
191
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,230
Yeah! All three of 'em were
just sitting here
192
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,230
doing kissing right here
in the middle of the classroom.
193
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,060
It was crazy.
I couldn't believe it.
194
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,570
Anyway, it was gross.
Here they come.
195
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,900
Out!
196
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:16,210
[chuckles]
197
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,740
Yep.
198
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,000
Have fun explaining that.
199
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,970
- He must have
struck out last night.
200
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:23,080
He's hangry as hell.
201
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,970
- Now, as you
may have heard,
202
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,010
Marcus refuses
to bring back my chips.
203
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:29,720
So our mission is to replace
Marcus Kasperak
204
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,180
as student council president.
205
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,290
- Can't you just buy chips
at the store?
206
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,050
- Well, it's not about
chips anymore, Sarika.
207
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:37,700
This is about principle, okay?
208
00:07:37,730 --> 00:07:39,260
And it is a little bit
about the chips.
209
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:41,620
I do love chips, you know?
It's about 60...40,
210
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,260
principle to chips
at this point for me.
211
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,640
- I get it.
- Yeah. Heather gets it.
212
00:07:45,670 --> 00:07:47,370
Thank you, Heather. So I read
the student council bylaws.
213
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,770
We only need 200 signatures
to recall Marcus
214
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,700
and replace him
with a new candidate.
215
00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:53,750
So today we're gonna be
choosing that new candidate.
216
00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:55,170
- This seems like
an overreaction.
217
00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:56,950
- All right, well,
Sarika's eliminated.
218
00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:59,050
So I wanna hear you guys
pitch yourselves,
219
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,650
campaign-style.
Anthony, you start.
220
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,050
- If I was president,
221
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,180
I'd make all the dances at Prom
slow dances.
222
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:07,260
If I'm paying 20 bucks,
I wanna feel a body.
223
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:09,030
- There ya go.
Good point.
224
00:08:09,060 --> 00:08:10,200
Okay, who's next?
Colin.
225
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,090
- I don't know
if I'm the right choice.
226
00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:13,670
There's a pretty damning
video out there
227
00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:16,190
of me blowing out another
kid's birthday candles.
228
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,200
I got excited.
- 'Kay.
229
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:20,100
Anybody else have any
skeletons in their closet?
230
00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:23,030
- I shoplift magazines
to feel alive.
231
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,970
Getting caught's the fun part.
232
00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:26,310
- You know what?
Look, Why don't we
233
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,080
skip past this and just
move on to the person
234
00:08:28,110 --> 00:08:29,250
with the most charisma.
235
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,080
Dan Decker, you in?
- [laughs] Yeah.
236
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,040
I mean, I actually did
student council
237
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,340
back I Florida,
so I'd love to--
238
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,310
- Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah--yeah, okay.
239
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,160
Don't ruin it.
All right. Uh, guys...
240
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:39,730
Dan Decker's our candidate.
241
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,320
Let's go out and let's
get those signatures, okay?
242
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:43,720
Pass those down.
I want you to be subtle.
243
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,330
But I want you to be efficient.
244
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,370
With each passing minute,
my chips get staler and staler.
245
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:53,110
- And, o-of course,
sexuality can be...
246
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:55,730
expressed in so many
different forms
247
00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:57,280
and permutations.
248
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,330
I mean, David Bowie--
[knock on door]
249
00:08:59,370 --> 00:09:02,340
- You got a minute?
- Absolutely! Yes.
250
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:05,180
Okay. I'm gonna let you guys
off with a warning.
251
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:08,210
So, uh, thank you.
[clears throat]
252
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,290
[door closes]
Okay. Yes, it's true.
253
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,860
Some of the bats have
gotten into some of the vents.
254
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,760
- What? Eew. No.
255
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,390
We need to talk
about Stef.
256
00:09:20,430 --> 00:09:23,370
[tense percussive music]
257
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,370
*
258
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,410
- Whassup, dirty Durb?
259
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,080
- Look, there is a rule
260
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,030
against soliciting
on school grounds.
261
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:34,200
- Wha--Are you kidding me?
262
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,240
Are you guys hearing
this nonsense?
263
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,750
- I am,
and I'm shocked by it.
264
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,320
- Screw you, Durbin.
265
00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:43,780
- [ahem]
Well, it is a rule,
266
00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:45,390
and I'm gonna have to
267
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,060
ask you to stop.
268
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:49,490
- Mm-hmm. Durbs, um,
you would agree that,
269
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,890
as a teacher,
I don't make a lot of money.
270
00:09:52,930 --> 00:09:55,070
- No. Not nearly
what you deserve.
271
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,900
- Mm-hmm. And you would
agree that
272
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,290
I should be able
to retire one day?
273
00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:01,730
Or would you prefer
that I die working?
274
00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:04,810
- No. I want you to die
somewhere fun.
275
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,110
- Then we're agreed.
You know what?
276
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,170
I'm so glad
277
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,120
you're on my side
with this one.
278
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:13,210
You're one of
the good ones, dirty, okay?
279
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,090
Oh, and ladies,
don't forget those orders.
280
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,450
- [quietly] Yeah.
281
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,180
*
282
00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:19,860
[whistle blows]
283
00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:23,360
- Thought this was supposed to
be a rooftop garden.
284
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,190
- Apparently,
the weight of the soil
285
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:27,200
would have made
the gym roof collapse.
286
00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:29,200
We almost killed
a lot of people--
287
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:31,100
- Victor. Mulch.
288
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,430
- I gotta mulch.
289
00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:34,740
- Hey, Jack.
290
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,480
You know, I saw the most
curious thing yesterday--
291
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,370
Dan Decker chatting up
the Spanish Club.
292
00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:43,320
At first, I was...
very confused.
293
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:45,840
And then I realized
what he was doing.
294
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,150
Courting the Latino vote.
295
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,180
- I think that club's
mostly white kids.
296
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:51,760
- Victor, shut up!
297
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,450
Anyway, I passed
an emergency resolution.
298
00:10:55,490 --> 00:10:59,230
To replace the president, it
now requires 10,000 signatures.
299
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:00,470
[dramatic musical sting]
300
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:01,520
Sorry, Jack.
301
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,460
- Mark my words,
you soulless taint.
302
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,500
I will take you down.
You'll be out of office
303
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:08,530
before you see a single
precious tomato grow.
304
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,470
Or sooner. Depending on
how long it takes
305
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:13,370
tomatoes to grow.
306
00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:16,350
- Well, depends on the size
and the soil.
307
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:17,880
By the way, we had to
find a place
308
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,340
for some gardening supplies.
309
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:22,550
Might make parking
a little bit of a mess.
310
00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:25,250
See ya, Jack.
311
00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:27,860
[tense percussive music]
312
00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:34,370
*
313
00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:40,960
[brakes squeal]
314
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,400
[dramatic music]
315
00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:50,240
.
316
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,850
- [speaking foreign
language]
317
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:58,010
- It's over, Dan.
Marcus sniffed you out.
318
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,020
Pulled some midnight
procedural bullcrap.
319
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,220
And I was left bribing some
homeless guy to move his fort
320
00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,030
so I could park
in the street.
321
00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:05,260
- His fort?
- Yeah, his house, his tent.
322
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:07,920
What--what do you want from me?
Look, time to move to plan B.
323
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,030
Where can I buy some cocaine
to plant in Marcus's locker?
324
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,260
Don't lie.
- Okay, this whole thing
325
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,940
seems like an insane
overreaction
326
00:12:12,970 --> 00:12:14,170
to missing out on some
salt and vinegar chips.
327
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,960
- This has moved
far beyond chips, okay?
328
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,600
This is personal!
- So you don't care
329
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,910
about the chips.
- A little, Dan! Okay?
330
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,900
I care about the chips
a little.
331
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,240
It's about 90-10,
Marcus-chips.
332
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,650
- Oh, there you are. Hey.
333
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,220
Did you park out front?
- Yeah.
334
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:27,950
- It's street cleaning.
They just towed your car.
335
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,440
- [shouting]
They towed my ca--
336
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,910
Ohh...okay. Student council's
outta control.
337
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:33,320
You gotta do something!
- No, no, no.
338
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:36,150
I told you, I don't want
no part of this, all right?
339
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,060
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is that Scottie Deeks?
340
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:42,060
That's the kid Marcus beat
for Student Council President?
341
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:44,940
- Scottie? Yeah.
That kid rocks.
342
00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:47,900
- This school makes no sense.
343
00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:50,080
[scoffs]
[phone tune plays]
344
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,470
Hello?
- [autotune voice] Is this
345
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,270
Jack Griffin?
- Yeah. Who's this?
346
00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:56,150
- Marcus's election.
It was rigged.
347
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:58,050
[dramatic sting]
348
00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,150
- Why are you telling me this?
349
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:01,650
And why are you singing?
- It's an Auto-Tune app.
350
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,180
Marcus has to be stopped.
351
00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:05,290
[sing-songy]
Just follow the car.
352
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,390
- Follow the car?
Wh-what does that mean?
353
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:11,050
Who is this?
- Get your dang gym clothes on!
354
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:13,120
You're not skippin' soccer
again!
355
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,220
- But my stomach
is cramping.
356
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:18,960
- You are not on your period.
That only works for girls!
357
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,970
- Follow the car!
358
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,430
[suspenseful music]
359
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,970
- Follow the car?
360
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,980
*
361
00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:32,080
Follow the car.
362
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,140
Follow the car.
363
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,020
Follow the--
364
00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:40,160
Hey, Michelle.
365
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,990
- I like the quiet.
366
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:46,290
[suspenseful music
continues]
367
00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:48,230
- All right.
368
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:55,200
*
369
00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:04,720
[dramatic musical sting]
370
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:05,970
*
371
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,280
- [chuckles]
372
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,160
*
373
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:11,550
- Hey, Grace.
- [gasps]
374
00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:14,250
- Ha ha.
Hey, quick question.
375
00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:17,330
Uh...you wanna tell me
how you got this car?
376
00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:21,400
- Uh...
[breathy laugh]
377
00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:23,540
- The garden has been planted.
378
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,160
And what grows?
379
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,210
My legacy.
[inspirational music swells]
380
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,140
[music stops]
- All right, everybody.
381
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,440
Quiet down,
and all eyes on me.
382
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:35,370
- You know what, Mr. Griffin,
I have to say,
383
00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:38,280
these interruptions are getting
a little bit ridiculous.
384
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:40,480
- Yeah. You know what I think
is ridiculous?
385
00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:42,440
The fact that anybody thought
386
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,210
you could beat dreamboat
Scottie Deeks
387
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,180
in a popularity contest.
[laughs]
388
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,490
[laughing]
You see, Marcus knew
389
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,190
he was gonna lose the election,
390
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,420
so he had his parents
bribe the vote counter--
391
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,300
my girl Grace here--
392
00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:57,400
with a brand-new car
from the family dealership.
393
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,760
Isn't that right?
394
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,210
And what did Grace do?
[laughs] Well...
395
00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:04,070
Grace, being a good
little solider...
396
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,330
she fixed the election votes.
397
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:10,210
Here is Grace's tally
of the actual votes.
398
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,810
[laughs]
Marcus didn't just lose.
399
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,410
Man...[laughing] he got
absolutely crushed!
400
00:15:14,450 --> 00:15:16,790
We got a whopping 426 votes
401
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:18,460
for Scottie Deeks.
402
00:15:18,490 --> 00:15:21,090
Wow. We got a concerning
32 votes
403
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,350
for murderer Robert Durst.
404
00:15:22,390 --> 00:15:24,200
I don't know what
that was all about.
405
00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:27,090
And a very sad and pathetic
19 votes for Marcus.
406
00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:28,530
Whoopsie-daisies!
407
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,530
[laughing]
408
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,530
- I didn't win?
409
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:36,270
Grace, is that true?
410
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,530
- Ah...
411
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:42,500
- Um, effective immediately,
412
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:45,540
I am retiring from...
413
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:48,850
public service, so...
414
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,210
I'll see some of you
in chemistry.
415
00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:57,230
- Oh, no! Oh, I--
Oh, no, I thought he knew!
416
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,130
[door closes]
I thought the whole--
417
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,470
I thought he knew!
418
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:03,230
[stammers]
You know,
419
00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:07,630
I-I have been told
that sometimes I...
420
00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:10,140
overreact.
421
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,200
[percussive music]
422
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:15,680
.
423
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:19,520
[lightly edgy music]
424
00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:21,150
- Beautiful house.
- Oh, thank you.
425
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,510
- I appreciate you
letting me come over
426
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,250
and speak to...
I, uh...
427
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:27,660
guess I owned your son
pretty hard today.
428
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:30,600
- Please. I'm so ashamed
of what we've done.
429
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,650
- Yeah. It was...
pretty psychotic.
430
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:34,590
- And was it worth it?
To get our little
431
00:16:34,630 --> 00:16:36,870
superstar elected
high school president? Ha.
432
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,670
Probably.
- Hmm.
433
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,770
Kinda seems like
you're not that ashamed.
434
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,660
I'm gonna go talk to him.
- Please.
435
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,470
Could you do me
one huge favor?
436
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,670
Tell him he won
the election.
437
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,670
- I'm not doing that.
438
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,240
- No?
439
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,780
Oh, my God.
440
00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:56,210
Oh, God.
441
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:59,560
[mellow pop song]
442
00:16:59,590 --> 00:17:02,530
*
443
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,560
- * Where could I start
444
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,190
- Whoa! Hey, uh...
445
00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:08,630
mind tossing this shirt on?
446
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,890
Getting a pretty wicked glare
off your back there, bud.
447
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,630
Uh...
448
00:17:12,670 --> 00:17:15,470
Listen, we--we mighta
let this situation
449
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,860
get a little outta hand,
you know.
450
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:19,730
Blame shared equally,
of course.
451
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:22,800
Maybe...70-30, you.
I mean...
452
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,210
let's be honest.
453
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:28,790
You, uh...
wanna talk about it?
454
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,720
- When I won the election,
I just thought
455
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,710
people were finally
starting to like me.
456
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:35,820
I don't want you to tell me
that people actually do like me
457
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:37,860
or that none of this matters
'cause it's just high school
458
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,850
or anything like that.
- Oh, no, no, no, it matters.
459
00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:41,720
It matters.
It's a serious problem for you.
460
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,290
You get in people's
business,
461
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,860
tell 'em what
they're doing wrong.
462
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,840
It's just no good. Nobody
wants to hear that stuff.
463
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:49,940
Come on, you gotta think
more about how you come off.
464
00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:51,940
But, look, it's not
entirely your fault.
465
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,200
I mean, you've clearly been
sheltered
466
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,940
by adoring parents,
you know?
467
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:57,880
Normally, this sort of
obnoxiousness
468
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:01,580
would have been wedgied
or swirlied out of you.
469
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:03,850
Who's been bullying you?
470
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:04,980
- Nobody.
471
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,630
- Huh. Well, you know,
472
00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:10,820
if it helps,
I could...I could bully you.
473
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:12,660
You know,
nothing physical.
474
00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:14,960
Just...burns, barbs,
you know.
475
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,620
Light verbal stuff.
476
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:17,990
- Isn't that
what you already do?
477
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,990
- Largely, yes, but in
this particular case,
478
00:18:20,030 --> 00:18:22,760
the intention would be
slightly more noble.
479
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,530
- Yeah.
480
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,800
That'd be nice.
481
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,270
- All right.
482
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,840
I don't do that.
483
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,590
- Okay.
484
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,710
[tense percussive music]
485
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,660
- Ow. It's hurting!
- Really scratch it.
486
00:18:38,690 --> 00:18:40,790
- I know, hurry, hurry.
[whispers] Here she comes!
487
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,550
- So...
488
00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:43,660
you beauties ready to
489
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:44,920
finalize your orders?
- Yep.
490
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,900
I got my list right here.
491
00:18:46,930 --> 00:18:49,370
- Whoa! Isn't this rash
right where you tried
492
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,940
Stef's make-up?
- Ooh...
493
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,690
- Oh, my God!
I have one too!
494
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:54,930
- Oh, no, I guess we can't buy
495
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:57,010
any of your makeup anymore
ever! I'm so sad!
496
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,680
- Hey, hey, no, no, no.
Don't be sad.
497
00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:02,050
Not when you can buy
this amazing concealer
498
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,870
that will cover that right up.
499
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:06,810
- Damn it, Stef! These are
obviously fake rashes.
500
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:09,320
We were trying to get out of
buying your make up.
501
00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:10,720
- What?
- Oh, no.
502
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,580
I think mine's turning real.
503
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:13,960
- Listen, girl,
we wanna support you,
504
00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:15,830
but we all make the same
amount of money.
505
00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:17,660
I've been wearing the same
monthly contacts
506
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,990
for the past two years.
507
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:21,700
I guess we were just worried
that if we said no,
508
00:19:21,730 --> 00:19:23,370
you were gonna get
really mad at us.
509
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,800
- Well, I'm not mad.
I'm just sad
510
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:28,330
that you feel like
you couldn't be honest.
511
00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:29,970
Look...I don't know,
512
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,770
I thought this would
be a good way
513
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,000
to make some extra dough.
514
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,310
And I really did think
it looked good.
515
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,340
- No, no, no,
it did look good.
516
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:38,880
- I don't know,
I guess I just...
517
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:40,940
feel like a smoother
complexion
518
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,940
can sometimes have
both personal
519
00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:45,610
and professional benefits.
520
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:46,980
- Yep! I'm back in.
521
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,460
- No! Stef, damn!
You're relentless!
522
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,990
- Okay. I'm sorry.
523
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:54,460
I guess I just gotta
find out what to do with
524
00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:56,890
$300 worth of beauty products.
525
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:58,740
- Hmm...
526
00:19:58,770 --> 00:20:02,740
- Long story short,
the bats have been trapped
527
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,740
with only one confirmed bite.
528
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:08,070
So get well soon,
Mrs. Denunzio.
529
00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:09,880
- Talk about handsome!
530
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:13,850
- The contouring's incredible.
531
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,780
- He honestly
looks insane.
532
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:17,360
- Books back up
on the shelves.
533
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:18,780
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
534
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:20,490
- Lastly, I'd like to
congratulate
535
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,880
the awesome Scottie Deeks
536
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,950
as our new
Student Council President.
537
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:30,360
And--Oh, disgraced former
president Marcus Kasperak
538
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,010
has accepted the position
of parliamentarian,
539
00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:37,030
so...beware,
recalcitrant legislators.
540
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:40,410
- Seems like
an unnecessary position.
541
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,900
But congrats.
542
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,910
- I'm actually excited,
you know.
543
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:46,370
It's perfect for
a policy wonk like me.
544
00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:48,680
By the way, I, um...
545
00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:50,750
Brought you these.
546
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:53,850
- Wow. Now, see,
this is likeable behavior.
547
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:56,730
[light music]
548
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,800
- Don't you think your
compulsive snacking
549
00:20:58,830 --> 00:21:01,370
belies some kinda
unaddressed anxiety that--
550
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:04,470
Right.
Back of the room.
551
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:05,700
- Yeah.
- Got it.
552
00:21:05,730 --> 00:21:07,730
Much appreciated.
553
00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:11,810
[light music]
554
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,850
- * Oh, oh, oh
39949
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