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1
00:00:15,996 --> 00:00:17,987
[Keys Jingling]
2
00:00:18,999 --> 00:00:21,467
Sounds like someone's at the door.
3
00:00:26,873 --> 00:00:29,171
Oh, fiddlesticks!
4
00:00:29,242 --> 00:00:34,236
Now look what you've done, Lily.
Oh, Herman.
And never mind that.
5
00:00:34,314 --> 00:00:38,648
I was hoping you'd come home.
We have a much more serious problem.
6
00:00:38,719 --> 00:00:41,620
Really? Did Grandpa
blow up the dungeon again?
7
00:00:41,688 --> 00:00:45,021
No. But Marilyn came home
from school in tears.
8
00:00:45,092 --> 00:00:48,255
She said she'd been asked
not to return to college.
9
00:00:48,328 --> 00:00:50,353
What happened?
I don't know.
10
00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:52,421
She was too upset to talk.
11
00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:55,593
Poor thing's up in her room now
crying her eyes out.
12
00:00:55,669 --> 00:00:58,604
Oh, my. I did that once
when I was younger...
13
00:00:58,672 --> 00:01:01,266
and had a terrible time
getting them back in.
14
00:01:02,376 --> 00:01:06,608
Well, we'll just have to
get her down here
and find out what the trouble is.
15
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,841
Do you suppose
it could be her marks?
16
00:01:08,915 --> 00:01:11,008
Well, it could be.
17
00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:14,986
Uh, after all,
she's your sister's child,
you know.
18
00:01:15,055 --> 00:01:17,683
She doesn't have
the Munster brains like I do.
19
00:01:18,725 --> 00:01:24,186
Is that so?
And what line were you in
when they passed out the brains?
20
00:01:24,264 --> 00:01:27,233
You're forgetting, dear.
I didn't stand in line at all.
21
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,427
They brought everything to me.
22
00:01:29,503 --> 00:01:32,097
I got curb service.
23
00:01:32,172 --> 00:01:34,163
Oh, Herman.
24
00:02:39,773 --> 00:02:42,037
Imagine, throwing you out of school.
25
00:02:42,108 --> 00:02:44,076
I'll fix that college.
26
00:02:44,144 --> 00:02:48,581
I'll turn myself into
a California student
and upset the whole campus.
27
00:02:48,648 --> 00:02:50,809
Now take it easy, Grandpa.
28
00:02:50,884 --> 00:02:53,114
Uh, there must be some explanation.
29
00:02:53,186 --> 00:02:57,054
[Sighs]
Here's the notice
they gave me at school.
30
00:02:57,123 --> 00:02:59,614
I just don't understand it.
31
00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:04,393
"Tuition in arrears
for the last quarter"?
32
00:03:04,464 --> 00:03:07,524
The college told me
I couldn't come back
till it was paid.
33
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,569
Oh, I was just so ashamed.
34
00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:12,571
But, Lily, you handle the checkbook.
35
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,005
Uh, didn't...
didn't you ever pay this?
36
00:03:15,075 --> 00:03:18,602
I'm almost sure I did.
I'll look it up.
37
00:03:18,678 --> 00:03:20,669
This is most embarrassing.
38
00:03:20,747 --> 00:03:23,716
No one in our family
has ever been
thrown out of school...
39
00:03:23,783 --> 00:03:28,015
since the time
they caught Grandpa hanging
from the rafters at Vassar.
40
00:03:28,088 --> 00:03:31,387
I only flew in there
to get out of the rain.
41
00:03:31,458 --> 00:03:33,153
For two weeks?
42
00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:36,354
See now. I paid the gas bill,
43
00:03:36,429 --> 00:03:39,057
the telephone,
our water-hardening service...
44
00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:41,896
But can't you find
a check stub for the tuition?
45
00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:46,132
[Sighs]
I'm sorry, Marilyn.
I was so sure that I paid it.
46
00:03:46,206 --> 00:03:49,198
Well, maybe it's just
one of those checks
I forgot to enter.
47
00:03:49,276 --> 00:03:52,473
Well, we can't let them
treat our niece this way.
48
00:03:52,546 --> 00:03:56,038
That's right.
I'll go down there
and handle it.
49
00:03:56,116 --> 00:03:59,643
- I'll throw a scare into them.
- Uh, no, no, Grandpa.
50
00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:02,017
I'll take care of this.
51
00:04:02,088 --> 00:04:05,353
I'll go down to that school tomorrow
and straighten the whole thing out.
52
00:04:05,425 --> 00:04:07,916
Oh, thank you, Uncle Herman.
53
00:04:07,994 --> 00:04:11,430
But... But will you be able
to take time off from
the parlor tomorrow?
54
00:04:11,498 --> 00:04:14,934
I think I can duck out around 4:00
and the boss will never miss me.
55
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:19,165
Anyway, he's gonna be busy
all afternoon interviewing
new box boys.
56
00:04:27,147 --> 00:04:30,810
What'd you say
this kid's name was again, Coach?
Mallory. Moose Mallory.
57
00:04:30,884 --> 00:04:34,581
He's been playin' high school
basketball somewhere in Kentucky
for the past six years.
58
00:04:34,654 --> 00:04:37,122
It took him six years
to get through high school?
59
00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:40,387
Jerry, our scouts' reports show
that this guy's got everything...
60
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,896
footwork like a gazelle,
hands like a gorilla,
and he's tall as a giraffe.
61
00:04:43,964 --> 00:04:46,125
Who's sponsoring him?
The S.P.C.A.?
62
00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:49,498
Okay, so he's a big dumb ape
from the hills.
63
00:04:49,569 --> 00:04:51,594
But Dean Haggerty
doesn't know that yet.
64
00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:53,832
We're gonna enroll the Moose
on a scholarship,
65
00:04:53,907 --> 00:04:57,843
and by the time he flunks out,
our team will get
national recognition,
66
00:04:57,911 --> 00:05:01,870
and yours truly
will have left Westbury
for bigger and better things.
67
00:05:01,948 --> 00:05:05,679
That Mallory was
supposed to be here at 3:30.
Do you suppose the bus was late?
68
00:05:05,752 --> 00:05:07,743
I don't know.
69
00:05:08,788 --> 00:05:11,951
His first time in the city.
Maybe we should have met him.
70
00:05:12,025 --> 00:05:15,324
That big goon could be
wandering around
like some kind of a zombie.
71
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:22,401
I guess you need a college education
to figure out the signs.
72
00:05:22,469 --> 00:05:26,701
Oh, uh...
Uh, uh, pardon me, sir.
Could you tell me how to get to...
73
00:05:28,808 --> 00:05:31,436
Oh. Uh, sorry.
74
00:05:31,511 --> 00:05:34,036
L... I thought you were alive.
75
00:05:39,886 --> 00:05:43,219
Uh, you look just like
my wife's brother standing there.
76
00:05:51,598 --> 00:05:54,431
Coach, maybe we oughta
call the bus station.
It's almost 4:30.
77
00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:56,992
We'll give this Moose another
10 minutes. Maybe he can...
78
00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:59,368
[Knocking On Door]
[Door Opens]
79
00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:04,933
Oh, uh, uh, pardon me, gentlemen.
Uh, could you help me?
80
00:06:08,481 --> 00:06:11,041
Do you suppose this is...
Has to be.
81
00:06:11,117 --> 00:06:13,984
Couldn't be two like that.
82
00:06:14,054 --> 00:06:16,488
Come on in. This is the place
you're looking for.
83
00:06:16,556 --> 00:06:18,786
Oh. Thank you.
84
00:06:21,995 --> 00:06:23,986
I'm looking for the dean's office.
85
00:06:24,064 --> 00:06:26,828
Uh, there's a matter of tuition
I'd like to straighten out.
86
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:31,132
Don't worry. You'll get to see
the dean, and we'll straighten out
that little matter of tuition.
87
00:06:31,204 --> 00:06:34,071
Fine.
Uh, first I'd like to ask
a few questions.
88
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:37,405
Have a chair.
Uh, all right.
89
00:06:38,978 --> 00:06:41,640
Uh, could we get rid of this?
90
00:06:49,189 --> 00:06:51,657
Now, how tall are you?
91
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:56,719
I'm, uh, 7 foot 3.
In your stocking feet?
92
00:06:57,797 --> 00:07:00,357
No. In my stocking feet
I'm 7 foot 4.
93
00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:02,424
I wear very thick socks.
94
00:07:04,137 --> 00:07:06,537
Well, you're gonna take
a pretty big sweat suit,
95
00:07:06,606 --> 00:07:09,370
but I think we've got one around
you can squeeze into.
96
00:07:09,442 --> 00:07:13,708
- Sweat suit?
- Yeah. No use you seeing the dean
till we run you through a little tryout.
97
00:07:15,115 --> 00:07:18,573
- How are you at passing?
- Oh, pretty good.
98
00:07:18,651 --> 00:07:22,246
I passed two trucks
and a station wagon
on the way over here.
99
00:07:23,356 --> 00:07:26,553
Jerry, show him
where the locker room is.
100
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,254
Right, Coach.
101
00:07:29,329 --> 00:07:31,320
Come on, Moose.
102
00:07:31,397 --> 00:07:33,388
Moose?
103
00:07:36,736 --> 00:07:38,727
You college kids and your nicknames.
104
00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:52,078
[Man On P.A.]
Bus from Nashville
and points south now unloading.
105
00:07:53,653 --> 00:07:56,019
Well, uh, what do you think, Pa?
106
00:07:56,089 --> 00:07:58,751
Purty fancy bus depot, Moose.
107
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:03,251
Look, they sell them paperback novels
right out in the open.
108
00:08:06,332 --> 00:08:10,428
I don't see none of them hotshot
college fellers here to meet ya.
109
00:08:10,503 --> 00:08:15,805
Well, uh, the bus was two hours late
on account of hittin' that mule.
110
00:08:15,875 --> 00:08:20,812
Maybe them hotshot college fellers
got tired of waitin' on us.
They musta.
111
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:24,475
Reckon we-uns
will have to track down
the college ourself.
112
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:27,247
Well, we best get walkin'.
113
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,311
Walkin'?
114
00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:34,555
Look, just as soon
as you start basketballing it
for that Westbury College,
115
00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:37,425
you ain't gonna have to do
no more walkin'...
116
00:08:37,497 --> 00:08:40,193
have your own "cornvertible."
117
00:08:40,266 --> 00:08:42,291
You done lost me, Pa.
118
00:08:42,368 --> 00:08:46,634
How can a little old
college basketball player
afford a "cornvertible"?
119
00:08:46,706 --> 00:08:50,403
Son, if you keep actin'
as dumb as you look,
120
00:08:50,476 --> 00:08:53,036
us Mallorys are in real trouble.
121
00:08:53,112 --> 00:08:55,205
You just play with
that little old ball...
122
00:08:55,281 --> 00:08:57,613
and leave the thinkin' to me.
123
00:08:57,684 --> 00:09:01,518
Sorry, Pa.
Well, we best get walkin'.
124
00:09:02,622 --> 00:09:04,613
Give me your hand.
125
00:09:08,795 --> 00:09:13,425
I just don't understand, gentlemen,
why I can't see the dean now.
126
00:09:13,499 --> 00:09:16,059
Because one of the rules here says...
127
00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:21,368
that before we see the dean,
we have to play a little basketball.
128
00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:24,774
Now, we don't mind doing that
for Coachie, do we?
129
00:09:24,844 --> 00:09:26,812
Well, I guess not.
130
00:09:27,814 --> 00:09:31,272
But I'll just bet you they don't have
rules like this at Princeton.
131
00:09:31,351 --> 00:09:34,149
Come on, Moosie.
Let's see you sink
a couple of baskets, huh?
132
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:37,451
- Uh, uh, that...
that basket down there?
- That's right.
133
00:09:38,591 --> 00:09:42,925
Sure. If... If... If it'll get me
to see the dean.
[Chuckles]
134
00:09:42,996 --> 00:09:46,295
But why don't you
give yourself a break
and go near the foul line...
135
00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:49,096
Wow!
Sensational!
136
00:09:49,168 --> 00:09:53,002
Yeah, that's great.
Let's see you do a few layups.
You're fantastic.
137
00:09:53,072 --> 00:09:55,563
You really think so?
[Laughs]
138
00:09:55,642 --> 00:09:58,805
Just watch this.
[Laughing]
139
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,631
[Coach]
He's great.!
140
00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:36,380
Look at that.!
Holy mackerel.!
141
00:10:49,696 --> 00:10:51,891
Wow.!
142
00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:53,933
[Chuckles]
143
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:02,308
[Laughing]
144
00:11:07,313 --> 00:11:09,611
Now can I see the dean?
145
00:11:09,682 --> 00:11:12,708
Son, after that demonstration,
you don't need to see the dean.
146
00:11:12,785 --> 00:11:15,151
Uh, but there's a matter of tuition.
147
00:11:15,221 --> 00:11:17,621
My boy, you just sign this paper,
148
00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:21,251
and believe me,
you'll never have to worry
about tuition again.
149
00:11:21,327 --> 00:11:23,420
Really? Oh.
150
00:11:26,299 --> 00:11:28,426
Well, thank you very much.
151
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:31,664
Uh, uh, can I go and change
my clothes and leave now?
152
00:11:31,738 --> 00:11:34,298
Sure, go ahead.
Yeah. We'll be seeing you, Moose.
153
00:11:34,374 --> 00:11:36,365
Oh. Thank you.
154
00:24:03,615 --> 00:24:07,483
Jerry, my boy, we're gonna have
the greatest basketball season
in the history of Westbury.
155
00:24:07,552 --> 00:24:10,715
Yeah, Coach. This Moose Mallory
is just about the...
[Knock On Door]
156
00:24:11,723 --> 00:24:15,557
Excuse us. Do you reckon
we're in the right place?
157
00:24:15,627 --> 00:24:18,926
No, fellas.
The course in television acting
is just down the hall.
158
00:24:18,997 --> 00:24:21,431
We don't know nothin'
about no playactin'.
159
00:24:21,499 --> 00:24:25,799
This here's Moose Mallory,
the basketball star,
and I'm his pa.
160
00:24:25,870 --> 00:24:30,170
He can't be Moose Mallory.
Moose Mallory was just in here,
and the coach signed him up.
161
00:24:30,241 --> 00:24:32,232
Sure. We just...
162
00:24:34,746 --> 00:24:36,680
Jerry.
163
00:24:37,682 --> 00:24:39,616
Look.
164
00:24:39,684 --> 00:24:41,618
"Herman Munster."
165
00:24:41,686 --> 00:24:44,814
You mean that...
that wasn't Moose Mallory
that we signed up before?
166
00:24:44,889 --> 00:24:48,552
Must have been some other athlete
that stumbled in here by mistake.
167
00:24:48,626 --> 00:24:51,322
Well, then this guy must be
the real Moose Mallory.
168
00:24:51,396 --> 00:24:54,593
What are we gonna do?
Look, let's not argue with fate.
169
00:24:54,666 --> 00:24:56,861
Whoever this Munster is
that fell in our laps,
170
00:24:56,935 --> 00:24:59,768
he's gonna make
any other basketball player
look like a creep.
171
00:24:59,837 --> 00:25:02,203
But how are you gonna
get rid of these hillbillies?
172
00:25:02,273 --> 00:25:05,333
They came here
all the way from Kentucky.
Easy.
173
00:25:05,410 --> 00:25:08,641
I'll just politely and graciously
explain the matter to them...
174
00:25:08,713 --> 00:25:11,511
in the fine sporting tradition
of college athletics.
175
00:25:12,550 --> 00:25:14,518
Moose.
Yes, sir?
176
00:25:14,586 --> 00:25:16,986
The, uh, job is filled.
Huh?
177
00:25:17,055 --> 00:25:20,650
Get lost, ya bum.
[Father Protesting]
178
00:25:30,468 --> 00:25:35,337
That's right, Marilyn.
Tomorrow morning, you can go to college
without a worry in the world.
179
00:25:35,406 --> 00:25:38,307
They assured me
your tuition is all taken care of.
180
00:25:38,376 --> 00:25:40,367
Oh, thank you, Uncle Herman.
181
00:25:40,445 --> 00:25:42,640
Did you have any trouble
down there, dear?
182
00:25:42,714 --> 00:25:45,239
No. Uh, not a bit.
183
00:25:45,316 --> 00:25:48,843
They have a rather strange rule
before they'll give you an interview,
184
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,378
but after a brief workout in the gym,
they were most cooperative.
185
00:25:53,424 --> 00:25:55,392
A workout in the gym?
186
00:25:55,460 --> 00:25:59,419
Yes. Uh, you see, when I walked in,
there were these two men...
[Eddie] Hey, Pop.! Pop.!
187
00:25:59,497 --> 00:26:02,591
The evening paper just came,
and it's got your name in it.
188
00:26:02,667 --> 00:26:05,431
My name?
Yeah. Right here on the sports page.
189
00:26:05,503 --> 00:26:07,437
On the sports page?
190
00:26:07,505 --> 00:26:11,669
"Coach Roger Denman
this afternoon predicted
a winning season on the courts...
191
00:26:11,743 --> 00:26:16,203
with the enrollment of
a local athlete, Herman Munster,
at Westbury College."
192
00:26:16,281 --> 00:26:19,216
Local athlete?
You, Herman?
193
00:26:19,284 --> 00:26:21,684
You enrolled at college.
194
00:26:21,753 --> 00:26:24,017
Boy, Pop! Wait till I tell the guys!
195
00:26:24,088 --> 00:26:27,580
Now why would he do a thing like that?
You went down there...
[All Chattering]
196
00:26:27,659 --> 00:26:30,355
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
197
00:26:30,428 --> 00:26:33,090
The... The, uh...
There must be a mistake.
198
00:26:33,164 --> 00:26:37,533
A-All I did was put on a sweat suit
like they asked me
and shot a few baskets.
199
00:26:37,602 --> 00:26:39,593
They said that was one of the rules.
200
00:26:39,671 --> 00:26:43,471
Then when I signed that paper,
they said the tuition
was all taken care of.
201
00:26:46,010 --> 00:26:48,808
They meant your tuition,
not Marilyn's.
202
00:26:50,081 --> 00:26:55,781
Ooh, Herman, you signed a contract
to play basketball on a scholarship.
203
00:26:55,853 --> 00:26:57,787
Oh, boy!
204
00:26:57,855 --> 00:27:01,882
Sometimes I think
you just don't have enough sense
to come in out of the rain.
205
00:27:01,959 --> 00:27:04,393
Oh, yes, I do.
206
00:27:04,462 --> 00:27:06,930
I've... I've done it lots of times.
207
00:27:06,998 --> 00:27:09,228
Herman, you're so gullible.
208
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:12,531
Why, this is even worse
than the time you went to
that television show...
209
00:27:12,603 --> 00:27:15,401
and almost wound up
as Queen for a Day.
210
00:27:16,674 --> 00:27:20,735
Now they still won't let me
back in school tomorrow.
211
00:27:20,812 --> 00:27:22,871
Oh.
212
00:27:22,947 --> 00:27:25,575
You've goofed it again, Herman.
213
00:27:26,784 --> 00:27:30,550
Well, don't just sit there
with that vacant look on your face.
214
00:27:30,621 --> 00:27:33,920
Aren't you the least bit worried
about the... the mess
you've gotten into?
215
00:27:33,991 --> 00:27:36,016
You're... You're darn right I'm worried.
216
00:27:36,094 --> 00:27:40,121
I'm trying to figure out
a way to get in shape
before the basketball season starts.
217
00:27:43,101 --> 00:27:45,092
"Herman Munster."
218
00:27:45,169 --> 00:27:50,505
Moose, that must be the fella
that rinky-dinked you
out of your basketball scholarship.
219
00:27:51,509 --> 00:27:53,500
Yeah.
220
00:27:53,578 --> 00:27:58,379
As soon as we hit the bus depot
I shoulda knowed
this town is full of fancy dudes.
221
00:27:58,449 --> 00:28:02,681
How come?
When I tried that 10-cent machine
in the washroom,
222
00:28:02,754 --> 00:28:07,191
instead of giving me a pocket comb,
it squirted "prefume" all over me.
223
00:28:07,258 --> 00:28:09,192
I don't notice it none.
224
00:28:10,194 --> 00:28:13,129
Well, maybe I didn't
get enough on me to take.
225
00:28:13,197 --> 00:28:17,361
Moose, is that Munster slicker's
address in the paper?
226
00:28:17,435 --> 00:28:20,996
Uh, "1313 Mockingbird Lane."
227
00:28:21,072 --> 00:28:23,006
Come on. Let's go.
228
00:28:23,074 --> 00:28:25,542
Me and you are gonna find that Yankee,
229
00:28:25,610 --> 00:28:29,102
and we're gonna rearrange his bones
Kentucky-style.
230
00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:31,171
Hot dog!
231
00:28:31,249 --> 00:28:34,446
His face'll look like
Annie Lou Humphrey...
232
00:28:34,519 --> 00:28:37,181
when she fell in the feedin' trough...
233
00:28:37,255 --> 00:28:41,521
and them swill-happy hogs
just about tromped her to death.
234
00:28:45,963 --> 00:28:48,022
Now, Herman, I phoned the college,
235
00:28:48,099 --> 00:28:51,535
and they said the coach will be
working in his office all evening.
236
00:28:51,602 --> 00:28:55,732
Yes. Grandpa and I want you
to go down there right now
and straighten this mess out...
237
00:28:55,807 --> 00:28:57,798
so that Marilyn can
go to school tomorrow.
238
00:28:57,875 --> 00:29:00,867
But, Lily,
I'll... I'll be so embarrassed.
239
00:29:00,945 --> 00:29:04,005
Those nice men might yell at me.
240
00:29:04,081 --> 00:29:09,212
Oh, Herman.
What are you anyway?
A man or a mouse?
241
00:29:09,287 --> 00:29:12,882
Now, Lily.
After all these years,
242
00:29:12,957 --> 00:29:15,118
you... you can't
tell the difference?
243
00:29:20,498 --> 00:29:23,092
[Wolf Howling]
244
00:29:30,274 --> 00:29:35,906
Now, Moose, I ask ya...
did you ever see a house like this
in all your born days?
245
00:29:35,980 --> 00:29:38,244
I sure didn't, Pa.
246
00:29:38,316 --> 00:29:42,309
Ain't nobody back home
could afford nothin' this fancy.
247
00:29:42,386 --> 00:29:45,287
I don't care if the Munsters
do live in a mansion.
248
00:29:45,356 --> 00:29:47,881
It ain't gonna slow me down none.
249
00:29:55,299 --> 00:29:58,291
[Heavy Footsteps Approaching]
250
00:30:03,474 --> 00:30:07,535
Yes?
What do you think, Pa?
251
00:30:07,612 --> 00:30:11,241
I think the hogs already
tromped on this boy's face.
252
00:30:11,315 --> 00:30:14,546
And then when this coach feller
throwed us out...
253
00:30:14,619 --> 00:30:18,316
and we read that you had
latched on to Moose's scholarship,
254
00:30:18,389 --> 00:30:22,985
we just come over here to marinate
your gizzard in sheep-dip.
255
00:30:23,060 --> 00:30:27,429
Uh, uh, good heavens.
I'd hate to put you to
all that trouble.
256
00:30:27,498 --> 00:30:32,959
As a matter of fact,
Herman signing up to play basketball
was only the result of a mix-up.
257
00:30:33,037 --> 00:30:35,232
Yeah, of course.
Why, when you knocked,
258
00:30:35,306 --> 00:30:38,139
he was on his way down
to straighten it all out.
259
00:30:38,209 --> 00:30:40,973
He was. Weren't you, Herman?
260
00:30:41,045 --> 00:30:44,640
Yes. L... l... I was at that.
261
00:30:44,715 --> 00:30:47,081
In the interest of fair play...
262
00:30:47,151 --> 00:30:49,881
and, uh, my gizzard.
263
00:30:49,954 --> 00:30:53,890
Well, now, that makes
a mite difference, don't it, Moose?
264
00:30:53,958 --> 00:30:57,724
It does iffen I get
my athletic scholarship.
265
00:30:57,795 --> 00:30:59,786
Uh, uh, uh, tell you what.
266
00:30:59,864 --> 00:31:03,527
Why don't you nice gentlemen
sit here while I go down
and speak to that coach.
267
00:31:03,601 --> 00:31:09,540
Oh, that's a fine idea, Herman.
And while you're gone,
I'll try to make our friends feel at home.
268
00:31:09,607 --> 00:31:13,668
See you later.
Gentlemen,
make yourselves comfortable.
269
00:31:13,744 --> 00:31:16,042
Well, thank you.
270
00:31:16,113 --> 00:31:20,914
You'll have to pardon me, mister,
for staring at your suit, but...
[Chuckles]
271
00:31:20,985 --> 00:31:24,614
If you was to come to our town
duded up like that,
272
00:31:24,689 --> 00:31:28,386
folks would bury you
before you could blink an eye.
273
00:31:28,459 --> 00:31:30,620
Oh, thank you.
274
00:31:30,695 --> 00:31:33,255
I'll consider that an invitation.
275
00:31:33,331 --> 00:31:37,427
Oh, my, Grandpa.
That fire's gone out again.
Would you mind?
276
00:31:37,501 --> 00:31:39,992
Oh, I'd be delighted.
277
00:31:40,071 --> 00:31:42,062
And I'll go and fix some tea.
278
00:31:47,445 --> 00:31:49,436
Hey, Pa.
279
00:31:49,513 --> 00:31:51,242
What is it, Moose?
280
00:31:51,315 --> 00:31:53,840
You're closer to my feet
than I am.
281
00:31:53,918 --> 00:31:56,182
Would you mind
puttin' out the fire?
282
00:31:56,253 --> 00:31:59,689
Okay, son, but don't expect me
to do it every time.
283
00:32:10,101 --> 00:32:12,092
Thank you, Pa.
284
00:32:13,237 --> 00:32:17,037
What do you mean
you won't play basketball for
this noble institution of learning?
285
00:32:17,108 --> 00:32:20,976
Are you out of your skull?
Oh. Oh. Uh, no, sir.
286
00:32:21,045 --> 00:32:23,411
L... I haven't been out of it in years.
287
00:32:24,415 --> 00:32:27,578
But, you see, I just cannot accept
this basketball scholarship.
288
00:32:27,652 --> 00:32:29,847
Oh, you want more money?
No, sir.
289
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,013
You want a convertible?
No, sir.
290
00:32:32,089 --> 00:32:34,057
A little something
under the table, huh?
291
00:32:34,125 --> 00:32:36,059
O-Of course not.
292
00:32:36,127 --> 00:32:39,756
It's just that this basketball scholarship
does not rightfully belong to me.
293
00:32:39,830 --> 00:32:41,798
It belongs to another.
294
00:32:41,866 --> 00:32:44,266
I believe you should
withdraw my name from the team...
295
00:32:44,335 --> 00:32:46,701
and award this honorarium
to Mr. Mallory...
296
00:32:46,771 --> 00:32:49,604
in the interests of justice
and fair play.
297
00:32:49,674 --> 00:32:51,835
He is out of his skull.
298
00:32:56,580 --> 00:32:58,673
Come right this way, Mr. Mallory.
299
00:32:58,749 --> 00:33:00,979
This here is our kitchen.
300
00:33:01,052 --> 00:33:03,350
Oh, a separate room
for eatin' vittles,
301
00:33:03,421 --> 00:33:07,187
and now look at all these
"modren cornveniences."
302
00:33:07,258 --> 00:33:10,819
Lookee here, Pa.
There's no pump.
303
00:33:10,895 --> 00:33:14,126
The water just comes splattering
right outta the pipe end.
304
00:33:14,198 --> 00:33:19,431
Yeah, son. That's, uh...
That's one of them new, uh, automatic
dishwashers I've heared tell about.
305
00:33:20,538 --> 00:33:22,529
- Oh.
- And this is our icebox.
306
00:33:24,108 --> 00:33:27,635
Ooh, land of Goshen!
Look at all them eggs.
307
00:33:29,380 --> 00:33:34,613
- And big uns too.
- Oh, yes. And we keep
our own vultures out in the back.
308
00:33:34,685 --> 00:33:38,951
Ooh-ee. L-I'd sure hate to
reach under one of them critters
when they was nestin'.
309
00:33:39,023 --> 00:33:40,957
Wouldn't you, Pa?
310
00:33:41,025 --> 00:33:43,016
I didn't know
you had company, Aunt Lily.
311
00:33:43,094 --> 00:33:48,122
Oh, Marilyn, this is
Mr. Moose Mallory and his father.
312
00:33:48,199 --> 00:33:52,101
How do you do?
I'm mighty glad
to meet you, ma'am.
313
00:33:52,169 --> 00:33:55,627
I declare, you're prettier
than a bucket full of hog livers.
314
00:33:55,706 --> 00:33:57,640
Oh, thank you very much.
315
00:33:57,708 --> 00:34:01,872
Yeah, I guess, uh, you could say
she is the pick of the litter.
316
00:34:01,946 --> 00:34:06,542
Marilyn, uh, why don't you
take the young man out back
and show him our garden?
317
00:34:06,617 --> 00:34:10,178
Oh, all right.
Ooh-ee.
318
00:34:10,254 --> 00:34:14,315
Oh, uh, be careful.
D-Don't step on the poison ivy.
319
00:34:14,391 --> 00:34:16,450
It's just beginning to bloom.
320
00:34:18,996 --> 00:34:23,365
Oh, ma'am, I sure hope
that your husband
can work things out...
321
00:34:23,434 --> 00:34:26,028
and get my son
on that basketball team.
322
00:34:26,103 --> 00:34:28,367
I just can't wait
to move up here...
323
00:34:28,439 --> 00:34:32,398
and live high on the hog
like y'all do.
324
00:34:32,476 --> 00:34:34,410
Munster, will you knock it off?
325
00:34:34,478 --> 00:34:37,379
You signed this paper,
and you're going to play.
326
00:34:37,448 --> 00:34:42,852
- Yeah. Where's your sportsmanship?
- I am not tearing up this contract
and signing Mallory.
327
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:46,185
But I tell you I won't play!
328
00:34:46,257 --> 00:34:48,191
I will not play!
329
00:34:48,259 --> 00:34:51,558
I won't! I won't! I won't!
330
00:34:53,998 --> 00:34:57,934
Now, uh, uh, uh,
what are you gonna do about it?
331
00:35:00,070 --> 00:35:02,561
Like I said,
332
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:06,736
I'm going to, uh,
tear up this contract
and, uh, sign Mallory.
333
00:35:11,682 --> 00:35:14,082
[Man On Radio]
And now for the local sports scene.
334
00:35:14,151 --> 00:35:17,814
Moose Mallory, the sensational
high-scoring forward
of Westbury College,
335
00:35:17,888 --> 00:35:20,823
led his team
to its 15th straight victory.
336
00:35:20,891 --> 00:35:25,191
The Moose scored 68 points
and set an all-time conference record.
337
00:35:25,262 --> 00:35:29,562
Coach Denman sees his team going to
the national championships undefeated.
338
00:35:29,633 --> 00:35:33,626
[Laughs]
That's what I wanted to hear.
And now for the local weather...
339
00:35:33,704 --> 00:35:36,730
It's nice to know
the boy's doing so well in college.
340
00:35:36,807 --> 00:35:39,071
And he has you to thank for it, dear.
341
00:35:39,143 --> 00:35:42,635
Well, Lily, if we can't
help a young man
up the ladder of success,
342
00:35:42,713 --> 00:35:45,910
we're pretty sorry excuses
for human beings.
343
00:35:47,084 --> 00:35:49,484
[Horn Honks]
Good night, everybody.
That's my date.
344
00:35:49,553 --> 00:35:51,953
- I'm going out with Moose Mallory.
- Oh.
345
00:35:52,022 --> 00:35:54,616
Good night.
346
00:35:55,693 --> 00:35:59,356
That sweet boy must see something
in Marilyn that we don't.
347
00:35:59,430 --> 00:36:01,990
[Grandpa]
Well.
348
00:36:02,066 --> 00:36:04,057
What are you gonna do, Grandpa?
349
00:36:04,134 --> 00:36:07,865
I'm gonna do a little peeking
at Moose and Marilyn.
That's what I'm gonna do.
350
00:36:08,873 --> 00:36:11,706
Well, why didn't he say so?
351
00:36:11,775 --> 00:36:13,766
[Chuckles]
Come on.
352
00:36:15,679 --> 00:36:21,015
You know, Herman, it must be hard
for a boy like Moose to struggle
through college on a scholarship.
353
00:36:21,085 --> 00:36:24,851
You're right, Lily.
I'll bet it calls for many sacrifices.
354
00:36:24,922 --> 00:36:27,390
Mmm.
355
00:36:32,029 --> 00:36:34,020
Wow!
356
00:36:40,571 --> 00:36:43,005
Get a load of that car.
357
00:36:45,142 --> 00:36:48,805
He... He must have a job
working nights
at the school cafeteria.
30535
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