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♪ There's a kind
of special house ♪
2
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,140
♪ with a kind of special room
3
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:23,015
♪ with a kind of special
atmosphere
4
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,770
♪ with a click
of the ol' clock ♪
5
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,099
♪ going tick-a-tick-a-tock ♪
6
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,355
♪ shh! Susan slept here ♪
7
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,358
♪ oh, I can't
describe the house ♪
8
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,064
♪ and I can't describe
the room ♪
9
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,401
♪ but the atmosphere
is warm and dear ♪
10
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:41,329
♪ with the friendly whippoorwill
singing on her windowsill ♪
11
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:45,409
♪ shh! Susan slept here ♪
12
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:48,711
♪ sunlight kisses her shoulder ♪
13
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:52,211
♪ that's one light
I'm jealous of ♪
14
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:56,136
♪ mirror, mirror, mirror,
jealous 'cause you're near her ♪
15
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:59,714
♪ jealous "cause
you hold my love ♪
16
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:03,097
♪ I'm an ordinary guy
with extraordinary luck ♪
17
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:07,056
♪ 'cause it's Susan
who's in my career ♪
18
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:11,143
♪ and I'm tackin' up a sign
on that ticker of mine ♪
19
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:12,977
♪ Susan ♪
20
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,405
♪ Susan ♪
21
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:21,738
♪ Susan slept here ♪
22
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,625
My name is Oscar.
I live in Hollywood.
23
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:30,000
My family first
settled here in 1928.
24
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,671
We love Hollywood.
25
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:35,751
The orange groves, palm trees,
Louella, the freeways,
26
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:36,971
and movie studios.
27
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,796
Every year,
around income tax time,
28
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,757
we throw a surprise party.
29
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:46,262
Here are some newsreel shots of
the first one I attended.
30
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,352
We boys were all lined up,
waiting to be awarded
31
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:52,275
to deserving members
of the motion picture industry.
32
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,854
How I hoped I'd be awarded to
this deserving member.
33
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,282
She was the girl voted
the best supporting actress.
34
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:02,069
But instead, they gave one of
my brothers to her.
35
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,120
Oh, brother!
36
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:07,621
Me, I was awarded to the author
of the best screenplay,
37
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:08,829
Mark Christopher.
38
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:12,163
Nice guy, but he's no
supporting actress.
39
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,124
Being around a writer,
you get to know his problems.
40
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,130
My writer had two problems:
41
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,759
One of them lived in Pasadena...
Isabella.
42
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,680
She had everything.
43
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:27,853
And she wanted Mark to stop working and
share everything she had in Pasadena.
44
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,814
Problem number two
was Mark's work.
45
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,643
Ever since he won me,
he'd been in a rut,
46
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:39,072
writing the same type of movie...
Light, frothy comedies.
47
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,525
Like the clown who wanted
to play Hamlet,
48
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,578
Mark wanted to prove
he could write serious.
49
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,655
But the studio didn't
take him serious,
50
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:50,083
so Hamlet said farewell
to his weekly stipend
51
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:53,002
and the cop at the gate.
52
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,672
After that, Mark worked at home.
53
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,842
Here I'd been living
a well-polished but dull life.
54
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,967
Things were less dull after my
writer started writing at home.
55
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,016
It was nice to have
another man around the house.
56
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,722
By the night before Christmas,
57
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,224
he'd been working on
the serious story for months
58
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,055
and it was only half-done,
59
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,937
but it was coming along
real great.
60
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,734
This stinks!
61
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:18,864
The more I type,
62
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,821
the more I wonder if
he could ever write.
63
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,865
Now miss Maude, you know Mr.
Mark can write.
64
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:25,785
Didn't he just write a
hit for Jane Russell?
65
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:32,664
This story is not what
made that picture a hit.
66
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,585
I love her pictures. Don't you?
67
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,884
I despise all gorgeous women
with gorgeous figures,
68
00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,376
especially when
they're gorgeous.
69
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,361
Hey, woman of distinction,
70
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,114
I thought you gave up drinking.
71
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,069
I only say that when I'm loaded.
72
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,578
When I sober up, I come to
my senses and get loaded.
73
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,214
Here's to you, junior.
74
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,880
Don't call me junior...
75
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,838
Or I'll cancel your mambo
lessons at Arthur Murray's!
76
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,226
Uh, excuse me.
77
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,148
I'm sorry.
78
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,519
Oh, excuse me.
79
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,292
Mr. Christopher.
80
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,412
You dropped this.
81
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,166
Oh, would you put it up
there for me, please?
82
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,007
Thank you.
83
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,086
Thanks for picking it up.
84
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,792
It's Christmas.
85
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,389
Do you mind if I come in?
86
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:10,966
Why didn't you use your key?
87
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,722
I hadn't thought of that.
88
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,013
My, my.
89
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:18,974
We're still Christmas shopping
90
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,147
like we're still
employed, aren't we?
91
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,605
Well, our financial condition
will be vastly improved
92
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,986
by the completion of our script.
93
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,783
Eh, Maude?
94
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,658
How did you like the new scene
where they get married?
95
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,082
How did you like the new
scene where they meet?
96
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,994
Hey, you got a date
in 20 minutes.
97
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,748
You'd better get into
your space suit.
98
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,135
Can I have the rest of
the night off, boss?
99
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:48,841
Sure.
100
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,843
Don't forget your
Christmas present.
101
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,846
You may have just earned it.
102
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,930
A girl can always use
another mink coat.
103
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,730
"Merry Christmas to Maude."
104
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,982
Oh, now that's clever writing.
105
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:05,983
Thanks.
106
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,609
You give mother my best.
107
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,612
By the way, how is she?
108
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,820
Still hoping somebody will
give me a man for Christmas.
109
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,039
How does it look?
110
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,241
Looks like there
ain't no Santa Claus.
111
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:21,169
Well, merry Christmas
to you both.
112
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,120
Merry Christmas.
113
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:22,874
Merry Christmas.
114
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,501
I heard you.
115
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,305
As you said,
116
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,012
I've got a date with a girl.
117
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,885
Chicken.
118
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,109
There ain't no Santa Claus.
119
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:12,012
I'm convinced your secretary
has no taste in men.
120
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,386
Well, she usually has
good taste in scripts.
121
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:17,853
Ah, forget it.
122
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,554
She's just got
the Christmas blues.
123
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,439
Ah, Christmases aren't
what they used to be.
124
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,613
Remember when we
were in the Navy?
125
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,399
That Christmas on Guam?
126
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,777
Aren't you ever going
to get out of the Navy?
127
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,236
My happiest days.
128
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,616
I thought Yale was.
129
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,412
Dear old Yale, my happiest days.
130
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,745
What were yours?
131
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,085
Oh, when I thought Hollywood
thought I could write something
132
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,416
besides escapist stuff.
133
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,803
Don't sell it short.
134
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,173
Who else can write for
Fred Astaire like you?
135
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,509
And that must be Fred now!
136
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,735
Oh, sorry, the Christmas party
must be down the hall.
137
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,066
Hey, wait a minute!
138
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:17,281
I'm Hanlon, police department.
139
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,497
Remember?
140
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,781
Oh, of course, sergeant Hanlon.
141
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,562
You were technical advisor on the
private eye and the chorus girl.
142
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,371
The same.
143
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,372
Who's he?
144
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:26,202
He's Virgil.
145
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,129
What does Virgil do here?
146
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,831
He works for Mark. He's Mark's...
147
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,051
Right hand.
148
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,501
His man Friday, his Dr. Watson,
149
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:33,801
his Boswell, his Rochester,
150
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,587
like ham and eggs I am.
151
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,207
The main thing I do is listen
to his ideas, when he had them.
152
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,389
Where did he ever get
a guy like this?
153
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,604
In the Navy.
154
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,313
I was his commanding officer.
155
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:47,975
Is that the bar?
156
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,310
Yes, and that's the liquor
in the bottles.
157
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,521
Don't mind him. He's off duty.
158
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,823
Well, I'll tell
Mark you're here.
159
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,492
Tell him we got a present for him.
Ain't we, Monty?
160
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,820
I think the whole idea smells.
161
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,701
Present? Hey, Mark
will appreciate that.
162
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,032
He should. It's a girl.
163
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,633
A what?
164
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,376
When I was working
at the studio,
165
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:15,631
Mark used to talk about
166
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,287
an idea he had for
a serious story...
167
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,884
About a juvenile delinquent.
168
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,431
Said he'd like to talk to some
169
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,385
of these 16-, 17-year-old
kids we pick up.
170
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,437
Well, I'll go down
and get his present.
171
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,731
We got her handcuffed
to the steering wheel.
172
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:32,026
We want to make
sure she's comfortable.
173
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,117
Drink a lot of coffee,
don't you?
174
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,619
Only black.
175
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,951
It's the cream and
sugar that hurts you.
176
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,207
Where's Isabella's present?
177
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,628
Well..hello there.
178
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:55,844
Hi.
179
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,169
I don't think we've met.
180
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,908
That's because you
never saw me before.
181
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,130
Detective sergeant Maizel.
182
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,510
I'm Sam Hanlon's buddy.
183
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:02,966
Oh. How's Sam?
184
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:03,971
Still the same.
185
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:04,972
Still in homicide?
186
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,428
No, he switched to vice.
187
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,388
You meet a livelier
class of people.
188
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,771
Sam just went downstairs. Got a
Christmas present for you in the car.
189
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,192
Just what you need.
190
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,689
Christmas present for me?
191
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,237
Sam shouldn't have done that.
192
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,906
No. We didn't get
anyone for him.
193
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,742
Hollywood home
for wayward girls.
194
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,744
Hollywood home for... Virgil.
195
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,416
Is Mark there?
196
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,207
Our song.
197
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,216
Hello, Isabella.
I'm just leaving.
198
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:41,591
If you can tear yourself away
199
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,884
from the snorkel commander,
200
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,511
I'd like to remind you, Mark,
201
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,763
this is not one of those
Hollywood buffet dinners.
202
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,516
We're sitting down
promptly at 8:00.
203
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,017
Put in a good word for me
with the assistant Butler.
204
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,475
Maybe he'll sneak me in
through his pantry.
205
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,860
Let me go! Let me go,
you dirty...
206
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,240
Let me go!
207
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,662
How are you, Mark?
208
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:07,660
Hello, Sam.
209
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,537
Mark, meet Susan Landis.
210
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:10,752
Where is she?
211
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,659
Take it easy, kid!
212
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,996
I had to tell her my
grandmother lived here.
213
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,152
It was the only way I could
get her out of the car.
214
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,007
You liar! You double-crosser!
215
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,709
Communist!
216
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,135
Come... come here, you!
217
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,483
No, you don't!
218
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,940
Mark? Mark,
are you listening to me?
219
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:38,770
No!
220
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,105
Mark! Mark!
221
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,031
Oh, Isabella, I'm just leaving.
222
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,325
Are you having a Christmas
party without me?
223
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:45,782
Party? Of course not, honey.
224
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,515
I'm giving Virgil his
Christmas present.
225
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,707
I'm just leaving.
226
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,703
Sam, what is this?
227
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,939
Remember that time at the studio
we were talking about girls?
228
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,403
He's giving her to
you for Christmas.
229
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,046
Uh-huh, I knew this
was a frame-up!
230
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,668
Nobody's given me to anybody,
231
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,796
for Christmas or new
year's or any other time!
232
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,218
Easy, Susie!
233
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,546
She's the character
in your delinquent movie.
234
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,302
Oh, no...
235
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,600
Not the "I'm gonna get you
in the movies" routine!
236
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:10,426
There's no such movie.
237
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,103
There will be, if you use her.
238
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,055
What could I possibly
use her for?
239
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,275
Yeah, what?
240
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,228
I pass.
241
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,058
Research!
242
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,734
Look, you talk to her tonight,
243
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,227
and by tomorrow,
you got a story!
244
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,317
And you've been doing
it the hard way.
245
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,444
Are you the boss here, mister?
246
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,061
Well, I've got my name on the
lease, if that's what you mean.
247
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,241
Well, do I get out or don't I?
248
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,572
You sure do, honey.
249
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:31,451
You and me both.
250
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,668
Come on.
251
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,584
Now, where do you live?
252
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,796
She don't...
253
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,419
Unless you call a
reformatory living.
254
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,418
- Reformatory?
- What did she do?
255
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:40,674
Hit a sailor over the head
256
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:41,843
with a beer bottle.
257
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,259
Hit a sailor?
258
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,927
Maybe she was trying
to launch him.
259
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,219
Where was the shore patrol?
260
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,592
Who do you think she hit?
261
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,015
He had it coming to him!
262
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,468
Well, as an old seafaring
man, I agree with you.
263
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,394
Now, Sam, this is very
thoughtful of you,
264
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,125
but I'm working on another
script right now.
265
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:55,934
Be a good boy, will you,
266
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,461
and take this kid
home to her mother?
267
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,525
Who knows from her mother?
268
00:12:58,736 --> 00:12:59,350
She took a powder,
269
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,901
ran off with some guy.
270
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,979
That's all we can
get out of the kid.
271
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,780
So she's a juvenile delinquent.
272
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,733
No folks, no relatives.
273
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,273
The state's gonna keep her
locked up until she's old enough
274
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,945
to drink what's in
the beer bottle.
275
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,281
Hmm. Susan, how old are you?
276
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,160
17.
277
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,377
See you boys later.
278
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,461
She'll be 18 next June.
279
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,504
It's only 6 months.
280
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,124
Come to see us
when you graduate.
281
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,380
Gee, Mark, I was just trying
to do the decent thing.
282
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,949
I didn't think it
was right for a kid
283
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,531
to spend Christmas
in jail, that's all.
284
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,840
See? I told you
the whole idea smelled!
285
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,717
Sam figured you'd take her in
286
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,453
so we could say we didn't pick her
up until the day after Christmas.
287
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,684
Yeah. Come on, kid.
288
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:34,896
You're not wanted.
289
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,649
Sam.
290
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,478
Wait a minute.
291
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,046
Maybe Maude could
take care of her.
292
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,480
What bar do you suggest I call?
293
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:43,697
How about Maude’s mother?
294
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,050
- Same question.
- Same question.
295
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,074
I know, stop joking.
296
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,159
Who's Maude?
297
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,484
Maude is my secretary, female.
298
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,365
Maude's got to
come home sometime.
299
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,663
All right, Sam, I'll have
Maude take care of her.
300
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,073
Aw, gee, thanks, Mark.
301
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,124
Susie? You're gonna
have a nice Christmas.
302
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,898
Now you be a good girl and don't make
any trouble for Maude, you hear?
303
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,662
We'll pick you up
the day after tomorrow.
304
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,920
Just blow the siren.
I'll be waiting.
305
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,380
Remember, you guys,
she's underage.
306
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:16,352
Lay one hand on her and
that's all, brother.
307
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,583
Well, wait till you
taste my crepe suzettes.
308
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,036
OK, Susan, come on.
309
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,166
Come on in, make
yourself at home.
310
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,341
Old salt will rush you
some chow and phone Maude,
311
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,088
and then... crepe suzettes?
312
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,304
Virgil!
313
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,514
Virgil! Virgil!
314
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,059
I suppose old salt's
gone to find Maude.
315
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,556
You corny Hollywood wolf!
316
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,493
Who are you kidding
with that Maude gimmick?
317
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,086
If you think I'm staying
alone in a house
318
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,754
with a man who lives in an
apartment, you're crazy!
319
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:04,563
Quiet!
320
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,020
Go research someone else,
you big oaf!
321
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,605
Let me go, you big bully!
322
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:09,825
Put me... oh!
323
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,319
Merry Christmas.
324
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,194
Let me go!
Let me go, you big liar!
325
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,406
Will you let me go?
326
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,626
You can't get me now!
327
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,545
Put me down!
328
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,214
Let me go! Aah!
329
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,994
Now you listen to me,
miss Landis...
330
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,179
You... ohh!
331
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,467
Now listen to me, Susan... oww!
332
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,670
Now what are you planning to do?
333
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:45,900
Jump out the window.
334
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:47,863
Let me help you.
335
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:48,815
And hurry up!
336
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,316
I don't want to catch cold!
337
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,531
When they pick up my
bruised and bleeding body,
338
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:57,782
I’ll tell them...
339
00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,990
Oh, grow up and stop
dramatizing yourself.
340
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,369
I'll try Maude.
341
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,577
I am grown-up!
342
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,836
Grown-up enough to know
why they brought me here.
343
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,464
All that guck about bringing
me here for ideas for a movie.
344
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,965
I'll bet you got ideas!
345
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,639
Young lady, the day has not
arrived when a man my age...
346
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,307
I don't know any men your age,
347
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,519
but they're probably just
as bad as any men my age!
348
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,062
I'm sure. They just don't
wear diapers, that's all.
349
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,990
And stop looking at me
like I'm Jack the ripper.
350
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,811
Don't forget what that cop said.
351
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,443
I'm underage, and don't
you lay a hand on me!
352
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,100
You're cold.
353
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,599
Would you like
something to drink?
354
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,510
You want to get me drunk!
355
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,354
Yeah, I want to get you drunk.
356
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,852
Loaded. Pie-eyed. Stinking!
357
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,275
Tight as a hoot owl!
358
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,820
High as a kite! Blind as a bat!
359
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,693
Now do you feel safer?
360
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,112
Christmas Eve.
361
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,284
Good samaritan rides again.
362
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,933
You get so dramatic
about everything.
363
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:21,696
You ought to be an actress.
364
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,076
I am an actress!
365
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,332
I loved you in the outlaw.
366
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,032
I never played that part.
367
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,038
Oh, you didn't.
368
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,369
Did you ever see Peter Pan?
369
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,044
With Maude Adams,
Eva le Gallienne,
370
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,713
Betty Bronson, or Walt Disney?
371
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,005
No, with Susan Landis,
372
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,379
at San Fernando
valley sunset high.
373
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,051
That one I missed,
thank goodness.
374
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,549
The school paper said,
375
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,723
"Susan Landis was
utterly captivating."
376
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,220
I believe it, tinker bell.
377
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,678
I, too, have been utterly
captivated by the versatility
378
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,396
of your histrionic performance.
379
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,189
Histronomic?
380
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,921
You know, I'd forgotten
what 17-year-old,
381
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:51,650
emotional kids are like.
382
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,568
I've been going out
with middle-aged women.
383
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,739
20, 21.
384
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,689
You talk like a writer.
385
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,649
I just don't write
like a writer.
386
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,029
You don't look like a writer.
387
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,804
That's because I've
done so much writing.
388
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,743
While we're waiting, would you
care to see my scrapbooks?
389
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,574
Is that like etchings?
390
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:07,794
Better!
391
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,581
Oh, I got another idea.
392
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:17,464
An old cinema I wrote is
returning to haunt me tonight.
393
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,715
A picture you wrote?
394
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,636
A picture I wrote.
395
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:33,108
And now for your
Christmas Eve movie matinee,
396
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,687
brought to you by
Eureka used cars.
397
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:38,898
Remember Eureka on the corner
of third and central.
398
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,608
And now for our movie.
399
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,820
For the first time on television,
at this time of night,
400
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,905
dance, girlie, dance.
401
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,871
Watch the credits, you'll
see my name... Christopher.
402
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,714
Oh, fine, now Maude’s out.
403
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,712
I never heard of these actors.
404
00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,088
You weren't born yet.
405
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,713
There now, you see? Written by...
406
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,798
"Screenplay by Rex Wallace
407
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:06,725
"and George Samuel chiles.
408
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:10,054
"Adapted from an idea
by John Augustus close,
409
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,890
"and story by William
and Mary Ellionius
410
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,145
"and Barney Z. Ogley.
411
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,603
Additional dialogue by..."
412
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,608
I didn't see your name.
413
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,468
Well, right after
"additional dialogue."
414
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,279
That was me... Mark Christopher.
415
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,156
You have to read fast
in pictures.
416
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,372
It's a guild rule.
417
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,829
Aren't we gonna watch it?
418
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,531
It's a terrible picture.
419
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:31,151
I couldn't stand to hear another
word of that dialogue, ever.
420
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,916
Hey, here's your name!
421
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,793
"By Mark Christopher."
422
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,967
You wrote the gob
and the geisha girl?
423
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,138
You wrote this?
424
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,179
I got this from
a lending library!
425
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:47,179
That part about the crazy
sailor and that sexy nurse,
426
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,010
when he was in that
crazy hospital...
427
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,015
Crazy!
428
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,266
Real nervous.
429
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:54,651
Could I?
430
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:55,921
Haven't you had any dinner?
431
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,936
Oh, sure. The cops
bought me 4 hot dogs,
432
00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,190
but they ate 2 of them.
433
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:00,647
I'll get you some food.
434
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,777
Susan!
435
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,191
Yes?
436
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,114
Not in the head!
437
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,054
There's some milk
and cookies in the kitchen.
438
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,078
Hurry up, we're late.
439
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,827
I'm sorry about his head.
440
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,199
Where are we going?
441
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,078
We're just going. Get a move on.
442
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,034
Well, that's Hollywood.
443
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,997
A couple of years ago, I'm one of
the stars at the academy awards.
444
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,333
Now I'm a widescreen nutcracker.
445
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,968
And then I was in a musical
comedy in high school.
446
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:15,146
I met a composer who had
ulterior motives on me.
447
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,518
Now why can't I think
of plots like that?
448
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,771
Do you think a good
plot helps a story?
449
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,852
It sort of rounds it out.
450
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,278
Hey, where are we headed?
451
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:24,856
Didn't you have a date?
452
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,191
Yup. We're going to see
a girlfriend of mine,
453
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:28,947
and for some reason, I'm late.
454
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,619
She's broad-minded, isn't she?
455
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:33,868
You bringing another
woman along, I mean.
456
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,632
You're going to stay put
until I can find Maude.
457
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,284
She'll pick you up
sometime tomorrow.
458
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,093
Stay put where?
459
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,095
Here in this motel.
460
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,892
I've never been to a motel.
461
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,291
The experience will do you
good, make a woman out of you.
462
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,771
Merry Christmas. Yeah.
463
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,315
We'd like a room... for her.
464
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:01,984
How old are you, kid?
465
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:03,436
17.
466
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,746
Merry Christmas.
467
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:23,001
There sure are a lot of
motels in Hollywood,
468
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,582
aren't there, Mr. Christopher?
469
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,488
You'd think one of them
would have a vacancy.
470
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,512
Not on Christmas Eve.
471
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:28,638
Well, don't worry.
472
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:30,492
Like I told you before, I
can sleep on your couch
473
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:31,301
in my clothes.
474
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:32,552
No couch.
475
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,596
Sleeping in your clothes
is comfortable.
476
00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:36,248
You just have to get
in the right position
477
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:37,557
so the buttons don't hurt.
478
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:38,979
No couch!
479
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,191
Why do you want
to get rid of me?
480
00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:45,603
I'm research for your movie.
481
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:47,734
No movie, and you're
sleeping here.
482
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,648
I'm going to a real dull dinner.
483
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,149
I'll doze through
the fish course
484
00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:53,223
and probably catch a couple of
catnaps during the baked Alaska
485
00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:54,327
and the senator's speech...
486
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,623
Oh, here we are.
487
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,093
And then if I need sleep,
I'll go to a motel.
488
00:22:58,294 --> 00:22:59,409
And /'ll run away!
489
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,334
That's ridiculous. Hold this.
490
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,048
Sure, maybe it is,
491
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,413
but if you have to
go to a motel,
492
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:06,708
I'm causing you trouble.
493
00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:08,838
And I don't want to
cause any trouble.
494
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,099
Just tell me where you
keep the extra blankets.
495
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,312
In the bedroom closet.
496
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:18,594
Where will you stay?
497
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,975
When I get back,
I'll try the couch.
498
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:22,977
I hate to take your bed.
499
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,193
No, that's all right.
500
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,484
I don't sleep good anywhere.
501
00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:27,903
That's not healthy.
Why don't you?
502
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,106
No time. It takes 24 hours a day
503
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:31,595
to write a story
and convince a girl
504
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,029
you're not the marrying type.
505
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:36,533
You mean you let a girl
keep you from sleeping?
506
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:39,616
It's been the policy of our
firm for a great many years.
507
00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:44,037
Good night, and lock
the door behind you.
508
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:48,708
Merry Christmas,
Mr. Christopher.
509
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:53,637
Same to you, Susan.
510
00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:56,636
Merry Christmas.
511
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,126
Oh, good evening.
512
00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:23,872
Mr. Christopher!
513
00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:27,037
Mr. Christopher?
514
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:29,319
Are you on your way
to keep that date?
515
00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:30,753
Yes, I am. Why?
516
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,302
Well, I, uh, don't think
you have it anymore.
517
00:24:33,514 --> 00:24:34,554
You see, the phone rang...
518
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,640
You didn't answer it?
519
00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,008
Well, all I said was, "hello,"
520
00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:38,139
and the other lady said...
521
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,683
Do you know an Isabella?
522
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:41,562
I did.
523
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:42,810
Well, after I said "hello,"
524
00:24:42,856 --> 00:24:44,266
she didn't say
anything for awhile,
525
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,724
so I explained what I was
doing in your bedroom.
526
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:49,981
She didn't say anything
for awhile again.
527
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:52,612
Then she said a lot of things.
528
00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:54,823
And she said she hoped you and I
529
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:56,320
had a very nice Christmas,
530
00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:57,847
and that she was going
out for a drink
531
00:24:57,871 --> 00:24:59,031
with the assistant Butler.
532
00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:01,239
Are you going up or down?
533
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:02,823
It's immaterial to me.
534
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:04,043
Me, too.
535
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:08,170
Mr. Christopher? What do
assistant butlers do?
536
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:19,177
Mr. Christopher,
are you mad at me?
537
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:29,277
Night.
538
00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:03,930
This is the end, Melville.
539
00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:07,013
Melinda, listen to reason.
540
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:16,565
I can't. I can't
forgive you, Melville.
541
00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:20,823
Ooh, you and that woman!
542
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:22,994
I told you, Melinda,
543
00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:25,038
it was just one of those things.
544
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,911
I love you.
545
00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:29,869
Get out! Get out!
546
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:34,795
All right.
That's the way you want it.
547
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:39,253
Melinda, crying: That's
the way I want it.
548
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:44,433
Melinda, you're crying.
549
00:26:46,563 --> 00:26:48,770
Melinda, sobbing: No, I'm not!
550
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:51,815
Melinda, my love,
551
00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:54,142
we'll go away.
552
00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:58,780
The riviera.
553
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:04,867
Oh, Melville.
I'm so happy...
554
00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,284
So happy, happy.
555
00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:16,756
Great additional dialogue, huh?
556
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,469
I thought you'd gone to bed.
557
00:27:21,682 --> 00:27:22,922
I'm afraid to go to bed.
558
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:24,973
Well, what are you afraid of?
559
00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:27,642
I'm afraid I'll fall asleep.
560
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:36,977
Here, put this on.
561
00:27:37,197 --> 00:27:38,633
I don't like to play
cards with a girl
562
00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,272
unless she's nice and warm.
563
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,365
Cards.
564
00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:05,009
We'll play gin rummy until
you feel you can trust me.
565
00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:07,967
I don't play gin rummy.
566
00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,018
Canasta?
567
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:12,391
No.
568
00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:16,396
OK. I'll teach you
how to play gin.
569
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,076
What do we play for?
570
00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:32,954
We'll just play.
571
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:36,378
Why don't we play for who gets the
bedroom and who sleeps out here?
572
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:38,956
All right.
573
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:41,833
What if it's a tie?
574
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:52,060
You start this game by dealing
10 cards to each player.
575
00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:24,675
Well, here it is Christmas.
576
00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:28,801
Christmas in Hollywood is no different
from Christmas all over the world.
577
00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:30,257
It's a day of peace.
578
00:29:38,986 --> 00:29:44,401
And now, hold my
hand, sung by Don Cornell.
579
00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:49,406
J so this is
the kingdom of heaven ♪
580
00:29:51,581 --> 00:29:55,540
♪ so this is the sweet
promised land ♪
581
00:29:58,547 --> 00:30:02,916
♪ while angels tell of love,
don't break the spell of love 2»
582
00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:08,219
♪ hold my hand ♪
583
00:30:08,432 --> 00:30:13,472
♪ so this is
the garden of Eden ♪
584
00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:20,855
♪ in dreams,
it was never so grand ♪
585
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:26,189
♪ let's never leave again,
Adam and Eve again ♪
586
00:30:27,701 --> 00:30:32,070
♪ hold my hand ♪
587
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:38,455
♪ this is the secret
of what bliss is ♪
588
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:46,546
♪ for bliss is
what your kiss is ♪
589
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:51,256
♪ at last I understand ♪
590
00:30:54,227 --> 00:31:00,439
♪ so this is
the kingdom of heaven ♪
591
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:06,486
♪ and here on the threshold
we stand ♪
592
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:14,286
♪ pass through the portal now,
we'll be mortal now ♪
593
00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:17,706
♪ hold my hand ♪
594
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:23,214
hello?
595
00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:26,169
Not you again.
When did you get back?
596
00:31:26,385 --> 00:31:28,125
Oh, I've been here all night.
597
00:31:28,345 --> 00:31:31,508
Isabella, yelling: Let me speak to Mr.
Christopher!
598
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,931
Shh! He's still asleep. We were
up pretty late playing games.
599
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:36,758
What?
600
00:31:36,978 --> 00:31:41,972
Card games. I beat him
15 straight at gin rummy.
601
00:31:45,195 --> 00:31:47,561
Oh, if you'll excuse me now,
my eggs are scrambling.
602
00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:49,863
Bye, Isabella.
603
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,025
Yes?
604
00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:37,236
How do you want
your scrambled eggs?
605
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:38,787
Scrambled.
606
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:40,705
Good, because that's
the way I made them.
607
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,329
We're eating on the porch.
608
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:51,542
In case you woke up and
wanted to make pie crust?
609
00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:56,171
Well, you're a man, aren't you?
610
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:59,929
There's a nasty rumor
to that effect, yes.
611
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,510
Let's eat.
612
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,933
No. Please.
613
00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:16,866
I don't think you'll
need this anymore.
614
00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,865
OK, let's forget you're
a man and I'm a woman.
615
00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:23,164
OK, you be the man,
I'll be the woman.
616
00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:31,039
You know, for a man,
you make pretty good coffee.
617
00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:32,795
Oh, anybody can cook.
618
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:34,331
That's what my
mother always said.
619
00:33:34,387 --> 00:33:35,672
You made coffee for your mother?
620
00:33:35,889 --> 00:33:38,005
Whenever she had a hangover.
621
00:33:38,225 --> 00:33:40,557
Oh, don't get me wrong. She
didn't always drink a lot.
622
00:33:40,769 --> 00:33:42,179
You have to understand.
623
00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:45,353
My mom was more like my
girlfriend than my mother.
624
00:33:45,565 --> 00:33:48,307
She was only 17 when
I was born... my age.
625
00:33:48,527 --> 00:33:50,108
Eggs?
626
00:33:51,154 --> 00:33:53,145
Mom always seemed so...
627
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:56,235
Mom always seemed
so young to me,
628
00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:59,693
but I guess she isn't,
really. She's 34.
629
00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:01,911
That's old?
630
00:34:02,123 --> 00:34:03,988
Isn't it?
631
00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:07,250
I'm older than that.
632
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:12,668
Older than 347?
633
00:34:14,094 --> 00:34:17,552
35, but don't kick it around.
634
00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:19,345
I tell everybody I'm 29.
635
00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:24,568
Tell me more about your mother, like
why she ran away with that fellow.
636
00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:28,097
After pop died, she tried real hard
to support me, waiting tables.
637
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:32,355
It was just tough luck that all the
men she ever met were phonies.
638
00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:33,902
Who's the phony
she ran away with?
639
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:38,069
He's no phony.
He's the real thing.
640
00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:42,243
He must be, running off with your
mother, leaving you like this.
641
00:34:42,455 --> 00:34:44,070
I made them do it.
642
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:45,497
You did what?
643
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,621
He had to go to Peru
on a construction job,
644
00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:50,273
and they wanted me
to go, but I figured,
645
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:52,834
"some honeymoon,
with a kid along."
646
00:34:53,049 --> 00:34:56,758
In a marriage, you got to
get off to the right start.
647
00:34:56,970 --> 00:34:59,586
I know she'll be happy.
648
00:34:59,806 --> 00:35:02,923
Well, didn't mom worry about
what might happen to you?
649
00:35:03,184 --> 00:35:04,640
Oh, sure, but I fixed that, too.
650
00:35:04,853 --> 00:35:06,373
I told her I was going
to marry George,
651
00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:07,923
the boy I went
through school with.
652
00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:09,106
She liked him.
653
00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:12,357
She left me her written consent
to marry whenever I wanted.
654
00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:14,355
I'm a minor, you know.
655
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:18,689
Oh, yes, I believe that
was mentioned last night.
656
00:35:19,409 --> 00:35:23,652
I like George, too, but
I'm not in love with him.
657
00:35:23,872 --> 00:35:26,579
I don't believe in
marriage without love.
658
00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:27,791
Do you?
659
00:35:28,585 --> 00:35:30,667
No, no.
660
00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:32,289
Oh, no, no, in... in marriage,
661
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:34,837
you got to get off
to a right start.
662
00:35:39,804 --> 00:35:43,843
Well, you'll be the only girl on the
prison farm getting mail from Peru.
663
00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:46,391
Save the stamps
for me, will you?
664
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:54,858
If you're calling Maude, tell her...
Tell her not to hurry.
665
00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:58,153
I mean, I have a lot
of dishes and things to do.
666
00:35:58,365 --> 00:36:00,731
OK, there's the kitchen.
Start doing.
667
00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:02,486
Yes, sir.
668
00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:17,797
Oh, no, captain, not yet.
I'm not slept out.
669
00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:23,491
Merry Christmas, coward, and how are
the crepe suzettes coming along?
670
00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:24,880
All right, I'm fired.
671
00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:26,385
You're hired again.
672
00:36:26,601 --> 00:36:28,361
Borrow some clothes
from Harvey's daughter...
673
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,706
She's about the same size as
Susan... bring the clothes and Harvey
674
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:31,890
over here right away, hmm?
675
00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:35,065
Who needs a lawyer
on Christmas day?
676
00:36:35,276 --> 00:36:37,813
Or did junior miss use
her beer bottle on Maude?
677
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,029
Maude never got here.
678
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:41,859
Never got there?
679
00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:43,110
Susan slept here.
680
00:36:43,326 --> 00:36:45,112
I know who needs
a lawyer Christmas day.
681
00:36:45,328 --> 00:36:47,068
Now, don't make a move
until I get there.
682
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:49,779
Don't even talk.
Your phone may be tapped.
683
00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:54,959
And wipe your fingerprints off... off
everything. And think up a fast alibi.
684
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,001
You know who that is?
685
00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:44,254
Well, if it's Isabella, she certainly
doesn't look like she sounds.
686
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:45,677
She's beautiful.
687
00:37:45,889 --> 00:37:48,756
That's Isabella,
and she is beautiful.
688
00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:51,762
But then, most women are
beautiful in one way or another.
689
00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:53,343
That's what makes it
so difficult.
690
00:37:53,563 --> 00:37:55,019
Makes what so difficult?
691
00:37:56,316 --> 00:37:57,522
Marrying the right one.
692
00:37:57,734 --> 00:37:59,395
What's so hard about that?
693
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:01,647
Well, if man can't find
all beauty in one woman,
694
00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:03,674
does he settle for the beauty
he can see with his eyes,
695
00:38:03,698 --> 00:38:05,188
or is beauty within
more important?
696
00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:06,614
Am I talking like a writer?
697
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:08,407
Mmm, but I like it.
698
00:38:09,370 --> 00:38:13,033
This is you, Susan.
You're beautiful within.
699
00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:16,207
You sacrificed your happiness
for someone else's.
700
00:38:16,419 --> 00:38:20,628
You talk like a writer. I'd
settle for beauty you could see.
701
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,547
I'd like to pass street
corners and get passed at.
702
00:38:24,844 --> 00:38:28,632
Nobody even whistles at me,
except George, that is.
703
00:38:28,848 --> 00:38:31,089
You know, I'd like to get a dye
job and a facial like her.
704
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:32,970
Isabella's a natural blonde.
705
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:34,843
You sure?
706
00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:38,021
We're very good friends.
She told me.
707
00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:41,899
Oh. Well.
708
00:38:42,111 --> 00:38:46,696
If I was dressed like her... real
George, cool, all gone, low cut...
709
00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:51,447
You know, clothes that
are really with it... hey.
710
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,583
Merry Christmas, Susan.
711
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:01,745
Isn't this what
you were giving her?
712
00:39:01,965 --> 00:39:04,798
That was last Christmas
Eve... long time ago.
713
00:39:05,093 --> 00:39:06,128
Open it.
714
00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:11,300
I don't think I should take another
woman's present, but I will.
715
00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:23,603
Oh, no, I won't.
Not this, Mr. Christopher.
716
00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:27,404
Go ahead. Isabella has a
whole closet full of mink...
717
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:30,823
One in every color
from every husband.
718
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,026
A mink.
719
00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:35,119
A real mink?
720
00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:38,823
Mm-hmm. That's for
being a good cook.
721
00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:40,328
Imagine, me in a mink.
722
00:39:40,545 --> 00:39:43,537
You know, Mr. Christopher, some
girls will do anything for a mink.
723
00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:45,371
Yeah, I've heard.
724
00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:48,800
And now, Susan, you're the
perfect combination for any man.
725
00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:51,298
Beauty within
and beauty without.
726
00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:58,010
There, you got your whistle. Now
go look at yourself in the mirror.
727
00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:08,774
Mr. Christopher.
728
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:09,990
Yes?
729
00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:14,199
I can't look in the mirror.
730
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,527
Why not?
731
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:19,159
If I see myself in it,
I'll never take it off.
732
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:21,954
Then, never take it off.
733
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:25,165
Be out of place where I'm going,
734
00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:27,585
but thanks, Mr. Christopher.
735
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:32,260
I've never been so happy, and thank you for
the whistle, too, even if you didn't mean it.
736
00:40:33,389 --> 00:40:35,380
I meant every pucker.
737
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:44,142
Mr. Christopher, would
you like me to kiss you?
738
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:46,270
Why?
739
00:40:46,486 --> 00:40:48,522
Because you gave me a mink.
740
00:40:48,738 --> 00:40:51,946
Absolutely not. Wasn't
that kind of mink.
741
00:40:52,909 --> 00:40:55,150
Would you like to kiss me?
742
00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:58,112
Why?
743
00:40:58,331 --> 00:41:00,196
Because it's Christmas.
744
00:41:02,627 --> 00:41:05,790
I've never been kissed
under a mistletoe.
745
00:41:08,174 --> 00:41:12,417
Well, that's, uh,
that's different.
746
00:41:30,530 --> 00:41:32,395
Researching?
747
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,690
Look, Harvey, no hands.
748
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:40,245
Leave him alone. He's overage.
749
00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:43,781
Here's the dress.
750
00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,084
Susan.
751
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:50,838
Susan, here.
752
00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:54,386
Another present?
753
00:41:54,554 --> 00:41:56,010
Put it on.
754
00:41:58,558 --> 00:42:02,016
Yeah. Don't forget your feet.
755
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:10,100
Well, it's, uh, about
time you got here.
756
00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:12,230
Sorry I kept you waiting.
757
00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:15,217
How would you like
your daughter to spend
758
00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:17,448
the next 6 months in jail
with hardened criminals?
759
00:42:19,412 --> 00:42:21,448
Mmm, might do her good.
760
00:42:21,664 --> 00:42:23,184
We've had a lot of
trouble with Miriam,
761
00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,209
ever since she tried to
join a college fraternity.
762
00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:27,033
Now, every law has a loophole.
763
00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:29,118
What can we do, Harvey?
She's a nice kid.
764
00:42:29,338 --> 00:42:32,671
You and Isabella can adopt her,
if you don't tell Isabella.
765
00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:34,590
Look, Mark.
766
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:37,722
Stray juveniles who get picked up by
cops are wards of the juvenile court.
767
00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:40,034
If they get picked up for conking
people with beer bottles,
768
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:41,058
that's a criminal charge.
769
00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:42,715
They get sent to a prison farm.
770
00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:45,722
6 months, case closed,
quod erat demonstrandum.
771
00:42:45,938 --> 00:42:47,053
Where's the black coffee?
772
00:42:47,273 --> 00:42:48,273
You and me both. Come on.
773
00:42:48,441 --> 00:42:50,557
Now, stop acting like a lawyer.
Use your brain.
774
00:42:50,777 --> 00:42:51,937
What about vagrancy?
775
00:42:52,153 --> 00:42:54,690
It's all right, for
those who like it.
776
00:42:56,365 --> 00:42:59,528
But suppose I can get the cops to
forget about the beer bottle charge
777
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:01,280
and just book her on vagrancy?
778
00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:04,183
It's a much less serious offense,
but it's still a criminal charge...
779
00:43:04,207 --> 00:43:07,165
Same result... unless she can prove
a visible means of support.
780
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:10,038
What if I tell the court I'll
be responsible for her support?
781
00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:12,290
Any judge who starts handing
out 17-year-old chicks
782
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,624
to 35-year-old bachelors will
become president next election.
783
00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:17,696
Of course, you could fool the
court by marrying the girl
784
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,506
and supporting her
on what you haven't got.
785
00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:20,962
And that reminds me.
786
00:43:21,182 --> 00:43:23,264
This Christmas morning
lecture on jurisprudence
787
00:43:23,476 --> 00:43:25,307
will cost you an extra fee,
788
00:43:25,561 --> 00:43:26,561
which you haven't got.
789
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:28,261
I'll get it.
790
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:30,221
Please. You work here.
791
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:36,311
Oh, Sam! Sam, come in.
Merry Christmas.
792
00:43:36,531 --> 00:43:37,896
Just the lad I want to see.
793
00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:39,116
Where's the kid?
794
00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:41,720
Say, about Susan and that
beer bottle charge...
795
00:43:41,744 --> 00:43:42,744
No, no charge.
796
00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:43,972
Shore patrol got big-hearted.
797
00:43:43,996 --> 00:43:45,236
She'll be booked on a vagrancy.
798
00:43:45,373 --> 00:43:46,112
Oh, great.
799
00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:48,197
Where is she? I got
to take her in now.
800
00:43:48,417 --> 00:43:50,157
Now? You said tomorrow.
801
00:43:50,378 --> 00:43:51,658
Eh, it's all my partner's fault.
802
00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:53,816
He spilled the beans about the
kid's Christmas vacation.
803
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,400
Captain heard about it this morning.
Boy, did he hit the ceiling.
804
00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:58,124
But you can't take
her in now, uh...
805
00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:01,586
Sam... Sam, you were right. There's
a great story in this girl.
806
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:03,046
I just need time to develop it.
807
00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:04,930
The old man don't know
from developing.
808
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:06,679
He wants the kid
brought in today.
809
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:07,978
Where's she at, Maude’s?
810
00:44:08,062 --> 00:44:09,422
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's at Maude’s.
811
00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:11,458
Well, call Maude, tell her
to bring the kid right over.
812
00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:13,544
What I mean is, she's on the way
to Maude’s. Virgil is taking her.
813
00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:14,568
Virgil?
814
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:15,107
Yeah.
815
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,839
You trust that little
girl with Virgil?
816
00:44:18,114 --> 00:44:19,114
What was that?
817
00:44:19,282 --> 00:44:20,282
Georgette making coffee.
818
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:21,689
She sure shook
the joint doing it.
819
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:23,869
Come to think of it,
I don't trust Virgil, either.
820
00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:27,991
You better hurry up
to Maude’s right away, huh?
821
00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:31,995
Hello?
822
00:44:32,211 --> 00:44:34,497
Answering your own
phone for a change?
823
00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:38,127
What happened to the 12-year-old
cardsharp with the goo-goo voice?
824
00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:39,673
If you mean me, I'm still here.
825
00:44:39,886 --> 00:44:41,342
Get off the phone!
826
00:44:41,554 --> 00:44:43,840
Not until I have
a word with you.
827
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:45,921
I didn't mean you, I meant you.
828
00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:48,351
Sam!
829
00:44:49,645 --> 00:44:51,055
What is it, Sam?
You want something?
830
00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:53,272
Just a cup of Georgette's
java to steady my nerves.
831
00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:54,138
Well, it's Christmas.
832
00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:56,189
You're my guest.
I'll get the coffee.
833
00:44:58,154 --> 00:44:59,314
Gee, that was fast.
834
00:44:59,530 --> 00:45:01,300
Georgette has this place
beautifully organized.
835
00:45:01,324 --> 00:45:02,734
Drink up.
836
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:05,721
Ah, gee. Never should have brought the
kid over here in the first place.
837
00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:09,185
Time the captain gets through with me, I'll
be directing traffic at Hollywood and vine.
838
00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:10,533
Oh, he can't do that to you.
839
00:45:10,750 --> 00:45:12,911
Yeah? I'll wave to you
when you drive by.
840
00:45:13,127 --> 00:45:14,127
Where is Maude’s place?
841
00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:16,039
1259 Beverly stage drive.
842
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:18,837
How do I know where he went?
I'm in the bedroom.
843
00:45:20,593 --> 00:45:21,924
Go get him!
844
00:45:22,136 --> 00:45:23,751
I can't! I'm not dressed!
845
00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:26,838
Isabella, I can explain everything,
if you'll just listen.
846
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:36,059
What did he mean,
he didn't trust me?
847
00:45:36,275 --> 00:45:37,606
Calm down, lieutenant.
848
00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:39,922
Mark, as your attorney, I must
warn you that you are now not only
849
00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:42,506
involved with a minor, but that
you have misrepresented the facts
850
00:45:42,657 --> 00:45:43,657
to the police.
851
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:44,981
You lied to a cop.
852
00:45:45,201 --> 00:45:47,362
Maude will take care of that.
853
00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:02,456
You talk, I can't.
854
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,792
Maude?
855
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:05,797
I'm not sure.
I haven't looked yet.
856
00:46:06,013 --> 00:46:07,594
Listen, secretary,
there's going to be
857
00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:10,219
a cop knocking on your door
in about 20 minutes.
858
00:46:10,434 --> 00:46:15,679
Cop? My door? What
did I do last night?
859
00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:18,043
I don't know, but when he gets
there, don't open the door.
860
00:46:18,067 --> 00:46:21,309
Oh, I can't even open my eyes.
861
00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:23,882
Merry Christmas, and we're going
to start a new script tomorrow.
862
00:46:23,906 --> 00:46:29,401
Oh, fine... hey,
how old is this cop?
863
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:30,620
Too old for you.
864
00:46:30,746 --> 00:46:31,781
What about mother?
865
00:46:31,998 --> 00:46:33,283
Too young for mother.
866
00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:34,864
Now, remember,
don't open the door.
867
00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:37,959
I won't even look under the bed.
868
00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:45,291
Again, as your attorney, I'm telling
you to get rid of the girl.
869
00:46:45,511 --> 00:46:46,967
I'll take her to
the police station.
870
00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:48,427
How do I look?
871
00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:50,471
Nice.
872
00:46:56,605 --> 00:46:57,811
Real nice.
873
00:46:58,024 --> 00:47:00,766
Smell me. I borrowed
some of your Cologne.
874
00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:05,565
Smells better on you.
875
00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:09,315
Mark.
876
00:47:11,287 --> 00:47:13,869
Susan, this is my attorney,
877
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,321
Harvey Butterworth.
878
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:16,541
Hi.
879
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:18,282
Go wrap up your old clothes.
880
00:47:19,128 --> 00:47:21,039
We're leaving.
881
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,586
Do what he says, Susan.
882
00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:36,885
Sure, Mr. Christopher.
883
00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:12,507
I wish you could have heard
her this morning, Harvey.
884
00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:14,964
She's got a lot of character
for such a youngster.
885
00:48:15,184 --> 00:48:18,676
Maybe so, but you've
got no choice, Mark.
886
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,722
Virgil suggested one.
I could marry her.
887
00:48:22,942 --> 00:48:25,058
You can't marry this girl, Mark.
888
00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:26,892
Why, I've got
a daughter her age.
889
00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:29,650
I'll get a lawyer
with an older daughter.
890
00:48:31,659 --> 00:48:33,490
Didn't you say it was
the prison farm,
891
00:48:33,702 --> 00:48:35,863
unless she could show
visible means of support?
892
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,080
Ask your new lawyer.
893
00:48:37,123 --> 00:48:38,123
I get it.
894
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,201
Listen, Harriet Beecher Stowe,
895
00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:41,749
I know you probably
need an ending
896
00:48:41,961 --> 00:48:44,247
for this great epic you're
going to write about Susan,
897
00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:45,873
but you don't have to live it.
898
00:48:46,090 --> 00:48:48,581
Mark, for her, it will
only be 6 months in jail,
899
00:48:48,801 --> 00:48:50,211
but for you, it can
be a lifetime.
900
00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:51,708
Even if you get a quick divorce,
901
00:48:51,804 --> 00:48:52,964
have you thought of alimony?
902
00:48:53,180 --> 00:48:55,387
This is California...
Community property.
903
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:58,090
Fine, we'll share
joint custody of Oscar.
904
00:48:58,310 --> 00:49:00,096
What are we running a fever for?
905
00:49:00,312 --> 00:49:02,394
He can't marry her.
906
00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:05,692
Why not?
907
00:49:05,860 --> 00:49:08,818
1... Isabella will shoot you
down with her skeet gun.
908
00:49:09,029 --> 00:49:10,394
Oh, Isabella's too tall for me.
909
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:12,855
2... there's a 3-day
waiting law in this state.
910
00:49:13,075 --> 00:49:14,281
Ever heard of Nevada?
911
00:49:14,493 --> 00:49:17,235
3... she's underage. Can't marry
without parent's consent.
912
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,266
Take it easy, both of you guys.
913
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:21,576
She's got her mother's
consent in black and white.
914
00:49:22,334 --> 00:49:24,916
I'll just tide her over the
holidays, keep her out of jail.
915
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:26,960
Won't be a real marriage,
just an expedient.
916
00:49:27,173 --> 00:49:30,461
We've all forgotten
one thing... the bride.
917
00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:32,596
A girl with all the character
you claim she's got
918
00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:36,466
isn't going to hop into holy matrimony
with a stranger she only met...
919
00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:40,345
I'll go find those cops.
920
00:49:40,561 --> 00:49:43,177
Thanks for a very
nice Christmas.
921
00:49:43,397 --> 00:49:44,397
Susan.
922
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:47,439
Susan.
923
00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:48,891
I listened.
924
00:49:49,570 --> 00:49:52,152
Nobody has to marry me
because I'm an...
925
00:49:52,364 --> 00:49:53,900
I'm an expedient.
926
00:49:54,116 --> 00:49:56,027
Susan, all I meant was...
927
00:49:56,243 --> 00:49:58,154
When I get married,
Mr. Christopher,
928
00:49:58,370 --> 00:50:01,487
it has to be the biggest
day in my life.
929
00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:04,574
Like I told you, I don't believe
930
00:50:04,793 --> 00:50:09,036
in marriage without
love, on both sides.
931
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:14,501
If you had asked me for real,
I would have said that...
932
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:18,713
Don't forget to take the cake
out of the oven in 10 minutes.
933
00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:25,727
Character she's got.
934
00:50:28,484 --> 00:50:29,815
We'll be back tomorrow.
935
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:31,027
From where?
936
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,310
- Las Vegas.
- Las Vegas.
937
00:50:35,241 --> 00:50:37,983
Remind me to take that wedding
cake out of the oven.
938
00:50:39,245 --> 00:50:40,485
He can't be serious.
939
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:42,599
Oh, he's serious, and he'll
convince her he's serious,
940
00:50:42,623 --> 00:50:44,976
and she'll take him serious, and
he'll start writing serious,
941
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,706
and we'll all be
in serious trouble.
942
00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:49,105
I don't believe it. Even my
psychiatrist won't believe it.
943
00:50:49,129 --> 00:50:53,042
If I may quote, "it's easier to fall in
love in 12 hours than it is in 12 months."
944
00:50:53,259 --> 00:50:54,419
Who said that?
945
00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:56,171
Me.
946
00:51:01,684 --> 00:51:03,094
They said my partner was here.
947
00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:05,892
He'll be back. Merry Christmas.
948
00:51:06,105 --> 00:51:07,470
There's the bar. Help yourself.
949
00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:09,646
Where do you keep the milk?
950
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:12,440
My captain just
gave me an ulcer.
951
00:51:12,653 --> 00:51:14,189
In the kitchen.
952
00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:24,574
Hello.
953
00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:25,825
Hello, Louella?
954
00:51:26,041 --> 00:51:26,621
Yes.
955
00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:27,834
This is Virgil.
956
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:28,918
Merry Christmas.
957
00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:30,230
Oh, merry Christmas to you, too.
958
00:51:30,254 --> 00:51:31,039
Thank you.
959
00:51:31,255 --> 00:51:32,540
I have a present for you.
960
00:51:32,756 --> 00:51:33,541
My, how nice.
961
00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:35,735
You know that scoop you've been
after about Mark and Isabella?
962
00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:36,759
You bet I do.
963
00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:38,196
Well, he's finally
getting married,
964
00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:39,406
and he wants you to be
the first to know.
965
00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:40,761
Well, lucky Isabella.
966
00:51:40,973 --> 00:51:42,884
No, not to Isabella.
967
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,431
What? Well, who on earth?
968
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,923
She's a debutante from Virginia.
969
00:51:47,104 --> 00:51:48,389
Susan Beauregard Landis.
970
00:51:48,606 --> 00:51:49,891
Landis? I don't recall...
971
00:51:50,107 --> 00:51:51,563
You know, the Virginia Landises?
972
00:51:52,526 --> 00:51:53,526
The tobacco people.
973
00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:57,799
She's the beautiful cigarette
heiress, just graduated from Vassar.
974
00:51:57,823 --> 00:52:00,109
Landis? L-a-n-d-I-s?
975
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:02,775
What a scoop.
976
00:52:02,995 --> 00:52:05,577
Virginia debutante weds Hollywood's
most eligible bachelor
977
00:52:05,789 --> 00:52:07,495
while Pasadena burns.
978
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:08,708
When's the wedding?
979
00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:10,077
Tonight in Vegas.
980
00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:12,376
That's pretty fast work.
981
00:52:12,588 --> 00:52:16,831
Yes. Yes, I guess you might say
it was a whirlwind courtship.
982
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:20,421
I don't mind
the whirlwind courtship,
983
00:52:20,638 --> 00:52:24,256
it's that joint custody of me
I'm worried about.
984
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:20,023
It's kind of past
my bedtime, you know.
985
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:21,695
Well, you're a...
986
00:53:21,907 --> 00:53:25,525
You're a mad woman.
I can dance all night.
987
00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,452
Had enough dancing?
988
00:53:32,668 --> 00:53:36,331
Me? No, I'm just
getting started.
989
00:53:52,312 --> 00:53:54,803
Some honeymoon, eh?
990
00:53:55,023 --> 00:53:57,355
When I start, I can't stop.
991
00:54:58,337 --> 00:54:59,697
Good morning, Sylvester.
992
00:54:59,755 --> 00:55:01,962
Good morning, Mr. Christopher.
993
00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:06,292
Say, would you open my door?
There's a key in my pocket.
994
00:55:06,512 --> 00:55:08,798
Sure, Mr. Christopher.
995
00:55:09,014 --> 00:55:10,970
I won her in Vegas.
996
00:55:12,184 --> 00:55:13,970
Did you say "Vegas"?
997
00:55:14,186 --> 00:55:16,848
I rolled 7 straight passes.
998
00:56:54,328 --> 00:56:55,989
Well, thanks.
999
00:56:56,204 --> 00:56:57,640
Did you do everything
I asked you to do...
1000
00:56:57,664 --> 00:56:58,949
Tell Maude about the cabin?
1001
00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:01,077
Sure, I'm Virgil,
the human switchboard.
1002
00:57:01,293 --> 00:57:02,893
You woke me up, so I
woke everybody else.
1003
00:57:03,045 --> 00:57:03,784
Well, how was Las Vegas?
1004
00:57:04,004 --> 00:57:05,398
Did you tell Maude to
bring her typewriter?
1005
00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:06,733
Carbon, paper,
ribbons, erasers...
1006
00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:08,437
She's loaded for a bear.
How was Las Vegas?
1007
00:57:08,508 --> 00:57:09,777
Did you tell her
to bring warm clothes?
1008
00:57:09,801 --> 00:57:11,541
She knows about the snow.
How was Las Vegas?
1009
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:13,377
- You wouldn't believe it.
- I'll try.
1010
00:57:13,597 --> 00:57:15,883
Night before last, I slept
on this sofa all night.
1011
00:57:16,099 --> 00:57:19,136
All night last night, I danced.
My feet are killing me.
1012
00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:20,809
I tried.
Cut it out, will you?
1013
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:22,341
Good morning, Mr. Mark.
1014
00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:24,054
Is it true what
Louella Parsons says?
1015
00:57:24,274 --> 00:57:26,060
Georgette,
make a big pot of coffee.
1016
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:27,061
It's true!
1017
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:28,733
What did Louella say?
1018
00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:32,233
"All Hollywood,
except this columnist,
1019
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,064
"was taken by surprise
this morning
1020
00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:37,151
"when Mark Christopher, one
of our better comedy writers,
1021
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:41,997
"a 17-year-old nonprofessional
from the San Fernando valley.
1022
00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:43,915
"They were introduced
by the vice squad
1023
00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:46,618
of the Los Angeles
police department."
1024
00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:56,253
Mark, so help me, I was
as surprised as you are.
1025
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,509
When I read it,
my tattoo turned over.
1026
00:57:58,725 --> 00:58:01,512
I wanted to explain it to Isabella
before it got in the papers.
1027
00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:04,457
Safer you should write the baby-faced
killer a letter from big bear.
1028
00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:06,142
Any suggestions what to say?
1029
00:58:06,358 --> 00:58:09,316
Well, George Washington's farewell
address to his troops always plays.
1030
00:58:10,946 --> 00:58:12,652
Let Georgette get it.
1031
00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:15,703
Yeah, especially if it's Isabella, out
for early morning target practice.
1032
00:58:15,826 --> 00:58:18,158
Come on. We've got to talk.
1033
00:58:19,287 --> 00:58:21,047
Georgette, take good care
of Susan, will you?
1034
00:58:21,081 --> 00:58:23,101
She's going to stay here, and I'll
be back in a couple of months.
1035
00:58:23,125 --> 00:58:24,894
Aren't you going on a honeymoon?
1036
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:28,126
His feet can't take it.
Better answer the door.
1037
00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:35,046
For the bride.
1038
00:58:35,262 --> 00:58:36,262
For the groom.
1039
00:58:36,430 --> 00:58:38,170
We made a package deal.
1040
00:58:38,390 --> 00:58:39,880
Well, thank you.
1041
00:58:40,100 --> 00:58:41,580
Would you mind
telling me who you are?
1042
00:58:41,768 --> 00:58:43,884
We're the bridesmaids
from the vice squad.
1043
00:58:44,104 --> 00:58:46,186
Oh, yes! I read
about you gentlemen.
1044
00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:48,229
Come in.
1045
00:58:48,442 --> 00:58:49,727
The bride's here.
1046
00:58:49,943 --> 00:58:52,525
The groom stepped out
for a couple of months.
1047
00:58:56,116 --> 00:58:57,902
Congratulations,
Mr. Christopher.
1048
00:58:58,118 --> 00:59:00,484
Oh, thank you, thank you.
1049
00:59:05,333 --> 00:59:07,540
I'm still available.
1050
00:59:20,515 --> 00:59:21,595
Forget about the neighbors.
1051
00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,340
Just being neighborly.
1052
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,016
Now, you just
take care of Susan.
1053
00:59:25,228 --> 00:59:26,956
See that she eats right
and gets plenty of sleep.
1054
00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:28,595
Get her some clothes,
a lot of clothes.
1055
00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:31,431
Poor kid's probably never had
anything decent to wear.
1056
00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:32,962
Let her enjoy life
a couple of months
1057
00:59:32,986 --> 00:59:34,942
before Harvey draws up
the annulment papers.
1058
00:59:35,155 --> 00:59:38,522
When I get back, maybe we
can get her a job. Here.
1059
00:59:39,618 --> 00:59:42,155
Heave anchor.
1060
00:59:50,629 --> 00:59:52,961
Oh, miss Isabella.
1061
00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:54,959
Miss Isabella?
1062
00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:56,175
Yes?
1063
00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:57,958
Mr. Mark is out.
1064
00:59:58,178 --> 01:00:00,544
Lucky for him.
1065
01:00:04,142 --> 01:00:07,976
Uh, can I be
of assistance, ma'am?
1066
01:00:08,188 --> 01:00:12,147
Thank you. I have a few old,
tired mementos to retrieve.
1067
01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:14,399
These gentlemen
are friends of Mr. Mark's
1068
01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:16,109
from the vice squad.
1069
01:00:17,948 --> 01:00:20,314
Oh, how nice! My favorite squad.
1070
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:23,492
I believe I read about you
in this morning's paper.
1071
01:00:23,703 --> 01:00:26,035
Having fun playing cupid?
1072
01:00:26,248 --> 01:00:28,830
Aw, shucks, ma'am.
It was nothin'...
1073
01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:31,454
Just a little idea of mine
that happened to pan out.
1074
01:00:33,338 --> 01:00:35,795
Oh, I am sorry,
1075
01:00:36,007 --> 01:00:38,999
but they were flat
anyway, weren't they?
1076
01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:08,361
Let's stop, darling.
1077
01:01:08,582 --> 01:01:10,618
My feet hurt.
1078
01:01:20,343 --> 01:01:21,343
Oh, you're...
1079
01:01:21,469 --> 01:01:23,334
Your husband's fiancee.
1080
01:01:23,889 --> 01:01:25,800
How did you get in here?
1081
01:01:26,224 --> 01:01:28,180
I was just going
to ask you the same thing.
1082
01:01:28,602 --> 01:01:29,682
I live here!
1083
01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:31,681
Mark and I are married!
1084
01:01:31,897 --> 01:01:33,512
Really?
1085
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:36,143
I adore your negligee.
1086
01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:37,849
So original.
1087
01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:40,360
You must show me the
rest of your trousseau,
1088
01:01:40,572 --> 01:01:42,028
before you leave.
1089
01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:44,652
What makes you think
I'm leaving?
1090
01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:46,608
I thought you'd want
to spend your honeymoon
1091
01:01:46,828 --> 01:01:48,693
with the groom,
and he's already left.
1092
01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:50,279
Where is he?
1093
01:01:50,582 --> 01:01:51,622
If this were my honeymoon,
1094
01:01:51,750 --> 01:01:54,958
I'd know... exactly.
1095
01:01:55,545 --> 01:01:56,545
Mark!
1096
01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:57,372
Mark?
1097
01:01:57,589 --> 01:01:59,204
The party's over, Cinderella.
1098
01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:01,360
I'll see that you get a ticket
to Reno and enough cash
1099
01:02:01,384 --> 01:02:03,375
to make you the
belle of skid row.
1100
01:02:05,347 --> 01:02:07,303
Sergeant Hanlon,
where is my husband?
1101
01:02:07,515 --> 01:02:08,515
I don't know, Susie...
1102
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:10,883
I mean, uh, heh,
Mrs. Christopher.
1103
01:02:11,102 --> 01:02:12,933
"Mrs. Christopher"?
1104
01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:16,855
Well, as Mrs. Christopher,
is this my house?
1105
01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:19,934
Half of it.
It's community property.
1106
01:02:20,153 --> 01:02:22,769
Well, she's standing on my half.
1107
01:02:22,989 --> 01:02:26,106
Would you kindly throw
her out of my half?
1108
01:02:26,326 --> 01:02:30,069
My father is senator
Rufus d. Alexander.
1109
01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:31,448
You'll still have to leave.
1110
01:02:31,665 --> 01:02:33,246
You'll have to carry me out.
1111
01:02:33,458 --> 01:02:34,789
Hold my cheese sandwich!
1112
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,457
The senator will
have you broken!
1113
01:02:36,670 --> 01:02:37,910
Ha! A democrat!
1114
01:02:38,129 --> 01:02:40,461
He's got his own troubles.
1115
01:02:40,674 --> 01:02:42,630
Oh! Enough of this!
1116
01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:44,048
Put me down!
1117
01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:47,128
I can't hear you, lady.
I got flat feet.
1118
01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:49,804
Isabella! What are you
doing up there?
1119
01:02:50,016 --> 01:02:52,302
Wishing I were a republican.
1120
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:53,634
Don't forget this.
1121
01:02:56,856 --> 01:02:59,973
Put me down, you big oaf!
1122
01:03:00,193 --> 01:03:02,559
You'll hear about this!
1123
01:03:05,407 --> 01:03:07,648
Which way to sun valley?
1124
01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:12,406
All right, all right. What's
she got to gripe about?
1125
01:03:12,664 --> 01:03:13,704
He married her, didn't he?
1126
01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,701
She's just worried
about the next census.
1127
01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:18,479
Look, the guy gave her his name so
she wouldn't have to wear a number.
1128
01:03:18,503 --> 01:03:19,583
She's sitting pretty.
1129
01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,582
That's not why he married me.
1130
01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:23,413
Did he tell you he loved you?
1131
01:03:23,633 --> 01:03:25,419
He didn't have to.
1132
01:03:25,635 --> 01:03:26,920
I could tell.
1133
01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:30,254
I could tell!
1134
01:03:31,516 --> 01:03:34,349
What is this, lieutenant...
A Navy court marshal...
1135
01:03:34,561 --> 01:03:37,974
Or do you just like
to pick on little girls?
1136
01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:40,684
I made breakfast
for Mrs. Christopher.
1137
01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:43,186
Well, I don't think Mrs.
Christopher's very hungry.
1138
01:03:43,403 --> 01:03:44,893
Oh? Something wrong?
1139
01:03:45,113 --> 01:03:47,695
Yeah. You can put the
eggs back in the shells.
1140
01:03:47,907 --> 01:03:49,022
OK.
1141
01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:51,528
Well, I'm off to
the winter wonderland.
1142
01:03:51,745 --> 01:03:53,076
One for the road.
1143
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,403
Get a script out of him.
1144
01:03:54,622 --> 01:03:56,382
Let's salvage something
out of this marriage.
1145
01:03:56,416 --> 01:03:57,747
I can handle a writer.
1146
01:03:57,959 --> 01:04:00,041
I just hope you can
handle a writer's bride.
1147
01:04:00,253 --> 01:04:01,959
She'll be fine.
I'll get her a playpen
1148
01:04:02,172 --> 01:04:04,003
and a two-month supply
of comic books.
1149
01:04:04,215 --> 01:04:06,171
You can read them yourself!
1150
01:04:06,885 --> 01:04:08,876
Well, if raggedy Ann
isn't here again.
1151
01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:11,131
Don't you ever get tired
of changing clothes?
1152
01:04:11,348 --> 01:04:13,589
I'm tired of being pushed
around, but I guess you're not.
1153
01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:16,345
You're a big nothing! You
and your crew cut haircut
1154
01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:18,039
and your sailor talk and
your crepe Suzette...
1155
01:04:18,063 --> 01:04:19,519
Are you all through?
1156
01:04:19,731 --> 01:04:21,471
Yes!
1157
01:04:21,691 --> 01:04:22,691
No!
1158
01:04:22,734 --> 01:04:24,270
Who needs you? Not Mark!
1159
01:04:24,486 --> 01:04:26,647
He's got a cook to cook and
a secretary to secretary!
1160
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:29,570
You can stick around in a phony job
he made up for you, but not me!
1161
01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,819
I'm not going to be
a phony wife!
1162
01:04:33,620 --> 01:04:35,030
Now, are you all through?
1163
01:04:35,246 --> 01:04:38,204
I sure am, and don't
try to stop me!
1164
01:04:38,416 --> 01:04:40,122
Me?
1165
01:04:41,044 --> 01:04:42,909
Stop you?
1166
01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:45,495
Susan! Listen to me!
1167
01:04:45,715 --> 01:04:46,715
Su...
1168
01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:49,631
Well, who are you?
1169
01:04:51,888 --> 01:04:53,799
I'm bigger than you are, Susan!
1170
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:55,221
Now, leave me alone!
1171
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:56,433
Let me go!
1172
01:04:56,559 --> 01:04:58,220
After I've talked to you
like a mother.
1173
01:04:58,436 --> 01:05:00,051
What do you know
about motherhood?
1174
01:05:00,271 --> 01:05:03,388
I happen to have typed the
script to Stella Dallas.
1175
01:05:04,692 --> 01:05:06,648
Georgette, this is
Mrs. Christopher.
1176
01:05:06,861 --> 01:05:08,226
Good morning!
1177
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:10,653
You ready for breakfast now?
1178
01:05:13,284 --> 01:05:16,026
I wouldn't leave
on an empty stomach.
1179
01:05:16,913 --> 01:05:18,824
If I were you,
I wouldn't leave at all.
1180
01:05:19,624 --> 01:05:21,330
Don't make the same
mistake I did.
1181
01:05:21,543 --> 01:05:23,079
You? When?
1182
01:05:24,045 --> 01:05:26,127
Years ago...
1183
01:05:26,339 --> 01:05:28,921
Back home in north Dakota.
1184
01:05:29,134 --> 01:05:31,921
I ran out on a man
I was crazy about,
1185
01:05:32,137 --> 01:05:34,799
just because I thought
he was a little crazy.
1186
01:05:35,014 --> 01:05:36,094
That figures.
1187
01:05:36,307 --> 01:05:39,299
Your husband's better
than crazy. He's a writer!
1188
01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:43,103
And you'll be just another
story to him, Susie,
1189
01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:46,932
unless you love him enough to
stay and put the ending on it.
1190
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:50,940
Don't let the senator's
daughter write the fade-out!
1191
01:05:54,451 --> 01:05:56,658
Oh, get me. Heh!
1192
01:05:56,870 --> 01:05:58,110
I'm ready for TV.
1193
01:05:58,329 --> 01:06:00,285
Get me my skis, son.
I got to mush.
1194
01:06:00,498 --> 01:06:01,783
Have you had breakfast, miss...
1195
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,956
Snodgrass.
1196
01:06:04,169 --> 01:06:06,376
No, I didn't have
a chance, honey.
1197
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:10,672
I... I dashed out of bed to saks
for these arctic typing clothes.
1198
01:06:10,884 --> 01:06:11,919
Georgette,
1199
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:13,415
will you warm up
my old breakfast
1200
01:06:13,595 --> 01:06:15,551
and make a new one
for miss snodgrass?
1201
01:06:15,763 --> 01:06:16,878
Yes, ma'am!
1202
01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:19,885
Thank you, Mrs. Christopher!
1203
01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:22,387
Wouldn't want you to leave
on an empty stomach.
1204
01:06:35,325 --> 01:06:37,361
Oscar, voice-over:
While my writer was away,
1205
01:06:37,577 --> 01:06:39,317
his bride did a little
spring cleaning
1206
01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:42,654
and, uh, "sprung" these
rare old documentaries.
1207
01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:45,115
Old home movies are great,
1208
01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:48,668
but not when there's
a new wife in the old home.
1209
01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:13,669
Ah, Mrs. Christopher.
1210
01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:15,087
How'd you do today?
1211
01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:16,506
That's wonderful.
1212
01:08:16,718 --> 01:08:20,051
Yesterday, you were
thrown 4 times.
1213
01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:26,850
Well, if it isn't Annie Oakley.
1214
01:08:31,107 --> 01:08:33,348
Hey, I got to talk to you.
1215
01:08:35,612 --> 01:08:37,853
I'm late for my golf lesson.
1216
01:08:58,176 --> 01:09:00,176
If you can find time in
your Olympic game schedule,
1217
01:09:00,303 --> 01:09:01,634
I'd appreciate
an hour tomorrow...
1218
01:09:01,846 --> 01:09:03,711
Say, between skin diving
and push-ups,
1219
01:09:03,931 --> 01:09:07,139
or if that's not convenient, between
the discus throw and the high hurdles?
1220
01:09:07,352 --> 01:09:08,933
Harvey wants to see you.
1221
01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:11,227
What does he want me for?
1222
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:13,896
Oh, uh, just the joint
income tax return.
1223
01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:15,723
You have to sign.
1224
01:09:15,943 --> 01:09:17,103
OK.
1225
01:09:18,321 --> 01:09:20,107
Aren't you wasting your time?
1226
01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:22,780
It takes more than
sports to make a wife.
1227
01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:26,701
Anything that society
girl can do, I can do.
1228
01:09:26,913 --> 01:09:29,450
Her golf score isn't
why he went with her.
1229
01:09:34,629 --> 01:09:36,335
Why don't you tell me
which mountain
1230
01:09:36,547 --> 01:09:38,663
Daniel Boone is hiding behind?
1231
01:09:38,883 --> 01:09:39,998
Uh-uh. Nothing doing.
1232
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:41,882
Mark's coming along
great on the story.
1233
01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:44,177
No interruptions.
1234
01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:46,380
If I find out where he is...
1235
01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:48,715
I'll interrupt him... but good!
1236
01:10:37,108 --> 01:10:39,394
Attagal, Susie!
1237
01:10:39,610 --> 01:10:41,896
I'm proud to be your mother!
1238
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:47,482
Dracula's daughter.
1239
01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:50,444
Oh, Isabella, what is this?
1240
01:10:51,581 --> 01:10:54,243
Don't you like it?
1241
01:10:54,459 --> 01:10:56,120
Why, they told me
this is the type
1242
01:10:56,335 --> 01:10:58,747
you're marrying this season...
1243
01:10:58,963 --> 01:11:00,578
Real gone!
1244
01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:05,295
That's a very bad imitation
of a very nice kid.
1245
01:11:05,511 --> 01:11:07,843
I can be a very nice kid, too.
1246
01:11:08,055 --> 01:11:09,055
Got any references?
1247
01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:10,503
Why did you really come up here?
1248
01:11:10,683 --> 01:11:13,299
To tell you I understand
and I forgive you.
1249
01:11:13,519 --> 01:11:15,180
You earned your merit badge.
1250
01:11:15,396 --> 01:11:17,637
You kept the juvenile
delinquent out of jail.
1251
01:11:17,857 --> 01:11:20,098
Now let's talk about the future,
1252
01:11:20,276 --> 01:11:22,483
if mother Hubbard
will excuse us?
1253
01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:24,401
Hubba-hubba! Good-bye, script.
1254
01:11:24,614 --> 01:11:26,104
Wait a minute, Maude.
1255
01:11:26,324 --> 01:11:29,282
Isabella, we haven't any future.
We never did have.
1256
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,610
All right, Mark.
1257
01:11:32,830 --> 01:11:35,321
I did want to make
one last attempt.
1258
01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:38,829
I'm sorry I made fun
of your wife.
1259
01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:43,788
Good luck on the story.
1260
01:11:44,008 --> 01:11:45,964
Wait.
1261
01:11:46,177 --> 01:11:47,792
Don't go away upset.
1262
01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,298
We're both grown-up.
Let's act that way.
1263
01:11:50,515 --> 01:11:51,800
I'd better leave.
1264
01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:53,305
Don't leave
till after breakfast.
1265
01:11:53,518 --> 01:11:55,474
Maude will whip something up.
1266
01:11:55,686 --> 01:11:57,551
You don't really
want me to stay.
1267
01:11:57,772 --> 01:11:58,807
Yes, I do.
1268
01:11:59,023 --> 01:12:01,639
We both do, don't we, Maude?
1269
01:12:01,859 --> 01:12:05,443
Come on, Isabella.
Stay for breakfast.
1270
01:18:14,940 --> 01:18:16,805
Here you are, Susan.
1271
01:18:17,026 --> 01:18:18,562
Just sign on the dotted line.
1272
01:18:18,777 --> 01:18:19,892
All the copies.
1273
01:18:20,112 --> 01:18:21,397
Joint income tax papers?
1274
01:18:21,614 --> 01:18:22,854
These are the annulment papers.
1275
01:18:22,948 --> 01:18:24,313
Just sign here.
1276
01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:27,574
Annulment papers?
1277
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:29,735
Mark made you a free woman,
1278
01:18:29,955 --> 01:18:32,742
now you're making
him a free man.
1279
01:18:32,958 --> 01:18:35,290
Just a simple little
annulment, Susan.
1280
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:37,426
And since you and Mark
aren't really married...
1281
01:18:38,172 --> 01:18:39,662
But we are married.
1282
01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:42,339
We drove to Las Vegas and came
back with a wedding license.
1283
01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:43,551
You're lucky.
1284
01:18:43,761 --> 01:18:45,405
Usually people don't
come back with anything.
1285
01:18:45,429 --> 01:18:47,169
Susan, you don't understand.
1286
01:18:47,389 --> 01:18:48,549
I understand.
1287
01:18:48,766 --> 01:18:50,097
Mark wants a divorce,
1288
01:18:50,309 --> 01:18:51,869
and you're just calling
it a fancy name.
1289
01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:53,805
I wish that were true,
1290
01:18:54,021 --> 01:18:56,103
but it happens that Mark
can't get a divorce.
1291
01:18:56,941 --> 01:18:58,977
He can't? Why not?
1292
01:18:59,193 --> 01:19:01,559
Because you and Mark
were never...
1293
01:19:01,779 --> 01:19:03,565
Alone together.
1294
01:19:03,781 --> 01:19:05,737
Uh, if you'll just sign here.
1295
01:19:06,325 --> 01:19:09,237
Thank you for the
pen I'm not using.
1296
01:19:09,995 --> 01:19:13,112
Tell my husband
I'm a married woman.
1297
01:19:13,332 --> 01:19:15,869
I expect to stay unannulled
1298
01:19:16,085 --> 01:19:19,202
until I'm divorced.
1299
01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:27,418
Now what do we do?
1300
01:19:27,638 --> 01:19:28,638
I don't know about you,
1301
01:19:28,806 --> 01:19:30,592
but I gotta go pick Miriam up.
1302
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,097
She's my daughter, you know.
1303
01:19:32,309 --> 01:19:36,097
I think she's living in a
tent on the 40-yard line.
1304
01:19:36,313 --> 01:19:39,601
And then, I've got
to see my psychiatrist.
1305
01:19:52,955 --> 01:19:54,320
Yes, miss?
1306
01:19:54,540 --> 01:19:55,700
Mrs.
1307
01:19:55,916 --> 01:19:57,452
And I'll have a bowl
of strawberries,
1308
01:19:57,668 --> 01:19:58,895
a glass of milk,
and a side order
1309
01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:00,409
of mixed pickles.
1310
01:20:01,380 --> 01:20:02,620
Strawberries...
1311
01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:05,001
Milk...
1312
01:20:07,886 --> 01:20:09,422
A side order of...?
1313
01:20:09,638 --> 01:20:10,798
Pickles.
1314
01:20:11,015 --> 01:20:12,380
Anything wrong?
1315
01:20:12,599 --> 01:20:14,965
You want strawberries
and pickles for breakfast?
1316
01:20:15,185 --> 01:20:17,141
Mixed pickles. A lot of them.
1317
01:20:17,354 --> 01:20:18,354
Yes, miss.
1318
01:20:18,522 --> 01:20:20,478
Mrs!
1319
01:20:34,413 --> 01:20:35,778
Here you are, miss.
1320
01:20:44,798 --> 01:20:46,083
I just love strawberries
1321
01:20:46,300 --> 01:20:47,580
and mixed pickles for breakfast,
1322
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,500
don't you?
1323
01:20:51,805 --> 01:20:54,888
This just isn't my day.
1324
01:21:29,301 --> 01:21:30,632
I'm glad you called, Harvey.
1325
01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:32,044
Maude just left with Isabella.
1326
01:21:32,096 --> 01:21:34,132
I think Isabella's
going to sue me.
1327
01:21:34,348 --> 01:21:35,804
She broke her leg skiing.
1328
01:21:37,351 --> 01:21:39,433
Says Maude steered
her into a tree.
1329
01:21:39,645 --> 01:21:42,557
Mark. A smart client always
levels with his own lawyer.
1330
01:21:42,773 --> 01:21:44,855
How do you expect me to
get you an annulment?
1331
01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:46,067
I have leveled.
1332
01:21:46,193 --> 01:21:47,228
At this very moment,
1333
01:21:47,444 --> 01:21:49,981
I am not more than 20
feet away from your wife.
1334
01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:53,155
And she is devouring
two plates of...
1335
01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:57,034
Pickles and strawberries?!
1336
01:21:58,330 --> 01:21:59,820
Why, that's impossible.
1337
01:22:00,040 --> 01:22:02,156
Virgil was supposed to ta...
1338
01:22:05,546 --> 01:22:06,956
Virgil!
1339
01:22:17,808 --> 01:22:19,639
Hello?
1340
01:22:21,186 --> 01:22:22,551
Just a minute.
1341
01:22:22,771 --> 01:22:23,977
For you.
1342
01:22:24,189 --> 01:22:26,180
Oh, it must be my
long-distance call.
1343
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:27,400
Mark?
1344
01:22:27,484 --> 01:22:29,645
No, unless he went to
Washington without telling me.
1345
01:22:29,862 --> 01:22:30,601
Hello?
1346
01:22:30,821 --> 01:22:32,152
Oh, yes, operator.
1347
01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:34,400
Keep trying, I'll wait.
1348
01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:38,775
I brought the annulment
papers with me.
1349
01:22:38,996 --> 01:22:40,327
Ready to sign?
1350
01:22:40,539 --> 01:22:42,905
Please, I'm lighting
a cigarette.
1351
01:22:46,211 --> 01:22:47,917
Are you being fair to Mark?
1352
01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:50,583
Is Mark being fair to me?
1353
01:22:50,799 --> 01:22:52,719
A girl's entitled to make
one pass at her husband
1354
01:22:52,843 --> 01:22:54,629
before he annuls her.
1355
01:22:54,845 --> 01:22:58,554
All right, operator.
Call me back.
1356
01:23:09,818 --> 01:23:12,355
What do you think you're
doing, tobacco heiress?
1357
01:23:14,948 --> 01:23:16,279
I told you.
1358
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:17,732
Smoking.
1359
01:23:17,951 --> 01:23:19,487
When did you break training?
1360
01:23:20,913 --> 01:23:23,996
A girl looks older
when she smokes.
1361
01:23:41,767 --> 01:23:43,382
Are you sure it's dead?
1362
01:23:44,728 --> 01:23:45,728
Hi, sailor boy!
1363
01:23:46,271 --> 01:23:47,056
Hi, Susie!
1364
01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,557
Hi, Maude!
1365
01:23:48,774 --> 01:23:50,355
How are you, Susan?
1366
01:23:50,567 --> 01:23:51,181
Fine.
1367
01:23:51,401 --> 01:23:53,016
Hey! You look older.
1368
01:23:53,237 --> 01:23:54,339
- I've been smoking.
- You've been smoking.
1369
01:23:54,363 --> 01:23:55,728
- Cut it out.
- Cut it out.
1370
01:23:56,406 --> 01:23:57,566
Did you come down alone?
1371
01:23:57,783 --> 01:24:00,399
No, just dropped a friend of
mine off at the hospital.
1372
01:24:00,619 --> 01:24:02,575
Remind me not to send flowers.
1373
01:24:02,788 --> 01:24:03,788
Not Mark.
1374
01:24:03,956 --> 01:24:06,322
Oh, no! No, Mark's fine.
1375
01:24:06,542 --> 01:24:08,498
The script's fine,
everything's fine!
1376
01:24:08,710 --> 01:24:10,871
Any minute now, his
bright and smiling face
1377
01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:12,669
should be coming
through that door.
1378
01:24:12,881 --> 01:24:13,996
Mark coming home?
1379
01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:17,144
I better change into
something more feminine.
1380
01:24:29,147 --> 01:24:30,762
Welcome home!
1381
01:24:30,983 --> 01:24:32,564
It's been mighty
dull with you away.
1382
01:24:41,285 --> 01:24:42,775
Virgil!
1383
01:24:42,995 --> 01:24:44,906
Virgil, look here.
1384
01:24:45,122 --> 01:24:47,204
Virgil, are you all right?
1385
01:24:51,086 --> 01:24:52,701
Yes, go on, Mr. Butterworth.
1386
01:24:52,921 --> 01:24:54,361
You were talking
about your daughter.
1387
01:24:54,506 --> 01:24:56,667
Your relationship
with her hasn't improved
1388
01:24:56,883 --> 01:24:58,464
since you undertook psychiatry.
1389
01:24:58,802 --> 01:25:00,838
Only in that she doesn't
talk to me anymore.
1390
01:25:01,054 --> 01:25:02,510
What does her mother say?
1391
01:25:02,723 --> 01:25:04,679
She blames everything
on those u.C.L.A. Boys.
1392
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:08,454
I wouldn't care if
he was in the middle of
1393
01:25:08,478 --> 01:25:09,843
a seance with
Arthur Conan Doyle,
1394
01:25:10,063 --> 01:25:10,802
he's my attorney,
I have to see him.
1395
01:25:11,023 --> 01:25:12,023
Oh, there you are.
1396
01:25:12,149 --> 01:25:13,251
I tried to stop him, doctor.
1397
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:14,765
It's all right, miss Sterling.
1398
01:25:16,987 --> 01:25:17,567
Hello, Mark.
1399
01:25:17,779 --> 01:25:18,359
Hi.
1400
01:25:18,572 --> 01:25:19,972
You'll forgive me
if I don't get up,
1401
01:25:20,073 --> 01:25:21,634
but this couch costs
me 50 bucks an hour.
1402
01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:23,428
Where are those annulment papers?
I'll make her sign.
1403
01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:24,929
That's what I get for marrying
a child in the first place.
1404
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,284
I hate to say I told you so,
1405
01:25:26,496 --> 01:25:27,702
but I told you so.
1406
01:25:27,914 --> 01:25:29,825
Why did you marry a child
in the first place?
1407
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:31,519
Oh, Dr. Rawley, this
is Mark Christopher.
1408
01:25:31,543 --> 01:25:32,543
He's a writer.
1409
01:25:32,711 --> 01:25:33,496
Glad to meet you, doctor.
1410
01:25:33,712 --> 01:25:34,712
Mr. Christopher.
1411
01:25:34,880 --> 01:25:36,495
Why did you get married?
1412
01:25:36,715 --> 01:25:37,715
Oh, it's a long story.
1413
01:25:37,883 --> 01:25:39,339
Those annulment papers, Harvey.
1414
01:25:39,551 --> 01:25:41,837
I never hear any other kind.
1415
01:25:42,054 --> 01:25:44,670
Well, it was like this, I...
1416
01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:46,721
Go ahead. I'll put it on my tab.
1417
01:25:46,933 --> 01:25:48,933
Well, I married this child
to keep her out of jail.
1418
01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:50,344
She was just a kid in trouble,
1419
01:25:50,395 --> 01:25:51,601
she didn't mean a thing to me.
1420
01:25:51,813 --> 01:25:53,303
You know what I did
when I saw Virgil?
1421
01:25:53,523 --> 01:25:54,182
I slugged him!
1422
01:25:54,399 --> 01:25:55,684
I was never so mad in my life.
1423
01:25:55,901 --> 01:25:57,186
- Virgil? Why?
- Virgil?
1424
01:25:57,402 --> 01:25:59,358
His best friend,
his wife's chaperone.
1425
01:25:59,571 --> 01:26:00,686
Chaperone? Ohhh.
1426
01:26:00,906 --> 01:26:03,363
You were quite angry
when you "slugged" him...
1427
01:26:03,575 --> 01:26:05,156
Quite angry? I blew my top.
1428
01:26:05,369 --> 01:26:07,451
Naturally. You were jealous.
1429
01:26:07,663 --> 01:26:09,153
Jealous?! Jealous of what?
1430
01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:11,284
Your best friend. And your wife.
1431
01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:13,286
You should see an
ear doctor, doctor.
1432
01:26:13,502 --> 01:26:15,288
I said she wasn't a
wife, she was a child.
1433
01:26:15,921 --> 01:26:17,627
You don't act
like she's a child.
1434
01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:19,454
Well how, may I ask, ami acting?
1435
01:26:19,675 --> 01:26:21,290
Like a jealous man.
1436
01:26:21,510 --> 01:26:23,967
Like a husband who's
in love with his own wife!
1437
01:26:24,179 --> 01:26:26,591
Of course, it is abnormal
that he doesn't know it.
1438
01:26:26,807 --> 01:26:27,546
Abnormal!
1439
01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:29,176
Me, abnormal?
1440
01:26:29,393 --> 01:26:30,828
Let's get something
straight, doctor.
1441
01:26:30,852 --> 01:26:32,763
I don't love anybody.
I don't love anybody!
1442
01:26:33,021 --> 01:26:36,479
Why don't we lie down
and talk it over?
1443
01:26:39,319 --> 01:26:41,480
Be my guest.
1444
01:26:54,918 --> 01:26:56,454
Don't be ridiculous, Dr.
Rawley.
1445
01:26:56,670 --> 01:26:58,350
How can I love her?
She's a delinquent kid.
1446
01:26:58,463 --> 01:27:00,920
You seem to be a delinquent
husband, Mr. Christopher.
1447
01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:02,748
You've been gone a long time.
1448
01:27:02,968 --> 01:27:04,299
Why don't you see her?
1449
01:27:04,511 --> 01:27:06,172
Oh, I'll see her, all right.
1450
01:27:06,388 --> 01:27:08,720
I'll give her back to those
cops tied in ribbons.
1451
01:27:23,572 --> 01:27:30,785
♪ So this is
the kingdom of heaven ♪
1452
01:27:30,996 --> 01:27:37,242
♪ so this is the sweet
promised land ♪
1453
01:27:37,461 --> 01:27:39,793
♪ when angels tell of love ♪
1454
01:27:40,005 --> 01:27:43,793
♪ don't break the spell
of love ♪
1455
01:27:44,009 --> 01:27:47,968
♪ hold my hand ♪
1456
01:27:48,180 --> 01:27:53,300
♪ so this is
the garden of Eden ♪
1457
01:27:53,518 --> 01:27:59,605
♪ in dreams,
it was never so grand ♪
1458
01:27:59,816 --> 01:28:02,853
♪ let's never leave again ♪
1459
01:28:03,069 --> 01:28:06,482
♪ Adam and Eve again ♪
1460
01:28:06,698 --> 01:28:10,907
♪ hold my hand ♪
1461
01:28:11,119 --> 01:28:13,906
♪ this is ♪
1462
01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:16,078
♪ the secret ♪
1463
01:28:16,291 --> 01:28:19,579
♪ of what bliss is ♪
1464
01:28:19,795 --> 01:28:21,581
♪ for bliss ♪
1465
01:28:21,797 --> 01:28:25,585
♪ is what your kiss is ♪
1466
01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:29,965
♪ at last I understand ♪
1467
01:28:33,517 --> 01:28:39,854
♪ so this is
the kingdom of heaven ♪
1468
01:28:40,065 --> 01:28:46,356
♪ and here on the threshold
we stand ♪
1469
01:28:46,571 --> 01:28:49,529
♪ pass through the portal now ♪
1470
01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:52,858
♪ we'll be immortal now ♪
1471
01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:54,989
♪ hold my hand ♪
1472
01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:08,503
Oh, it's you.
1473
01:29:13,139 --> 01:29:15,300
Excuse me.
1474
01:29:19,646 --> 01:29:25,892
♪ So this is
the kingdom of heaven ♪
1475
01:29:26,111 --> 01:29:32,698
♪ and here on the threshold
we stand ♪
1476
01:29:32,909 --> 01:29:34,820
♪ pass through the portal now ♪
1477
01:29:35,036 --> 01:29:38,824
♪ we'll be immortal now ♪
1478
01:29:39,040 --> 01:29:43,750
♪ hold my hand ♪
1479
01:29:43,962 --> 01:29:46,749
♪ hold ♪
1480
01:29:46,965 --> 01:29:50,082
♪ my?
1481
01:29:50,302 --> 01:29:56,673
♪ Hand ♪
1482
01:30:02,772 --> 01:30:04,353
Oh, it's you.
1483
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:06,557
You said that.
1484
01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:09,796
Would you mind telling
me why you refuse
1485
01:30:09,863 --> 01:30:12,024
to sign those annulment
papers for Harvey?
1486
01:30:17,287 --> 01:30:18,868
Because Harvey isn't the man
1487
01:30:19,080 --> 01:30:20,536
who asked me to marry him.
1488
01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:25,951
All right, Susan.
1489
01:30:26,171 --> 01:30:27,627
I'm asking you.
1490
01:30:29,925 --> 01:30:33,588
You shouldn't make decisions
on an empty stomach.
1491
01:30:33,803 --> 01:30:35,339
You must be hungry.
1492
01:30:35,555 --> 01:30:36,555
No thanks.
1493
01:30:36,765 --> 01:30:39,256
I'm up to here in
strawberries and pickles.
1494
01:30:47,776 --> 01:30:49,607
Strawberries and pickles?
1495
01:30:49,819 --> 01:30:51,605
You like them, too?
1496
01:30:51,821 --> 01:30:53,061
If the pickles are mixed.
1497
01:30:53,281 --> 01:30:55,112
Me, too. Everybody
thinks I'm crazy,
1498
01:30:55,325 --> 01:30:56,685
but when my mother
was carrying me,
1499
01:30:56,826 --> 01:30:58,586
she had a yen for them
and never got over it.
1500
01:30:58,662 --> 01:31:01,449
I picked up the habit from her.
1501
01:31:06,127 --> 01:31:07,867
How long have you
been eating them?
1502
01:31:08,088 --> 01:31:09,498
All my life.
1503
01:31:09,714 --> 01:31:12,456
When my mother could
afford it, that is.
1504
01:31:16,179 --> 01:31:19,012
Susan, let's, uh...
1505
01:31:19,224 --> 01:31:20,964
Let's have some tonight.
1506
01:31:21,184 --> 01:31:23,015
For dessert! Hey, that's
a wonderful idea.
1507
01:31:23,228 --> 01:31:25,264
I've always had
them for breakfast.
1508
01:31:39,327 --> 01:31:41,659
Virgil!
1509
01:31:41,871 --> 01:31:42,871
Hi. Susan in?
1510
01:31:43,039 --> 01:31:44,039
Yeah!
1511
01:31:45,041 --> 01:31:46,827
Come in, come in.
1512
01:31:47,961 --> 01:31:48,961
Hello?
1513
01:31:49,087 --> 01:31:50,087
Is Susan in?
1514
01:31:50,213 --> 01:31:51,373
She's cooking dinner.
1515
01:31:51,589 --> 01:31:54,001
Well, don't bother her.
Just tell her good-bye.
1516
01:31:54,217 --> 01:31:55,673
And tell her
I took my own advice
1517
01:31:55,885 --> 01:31:57,625
and sent a telegram
to north Dakota.
1518
01:31:57,846 --> 01:31:59,962
Good-bye? North Dakota?
What's in north Dakota?
1519
01:32:03,226 --> 01:32:05,717
Isn't it, Oswald?
1520
01:32:08,023 --> 01:32:11,060
It's about time I put
old Mort out to pasture.
1521
01:32:11,276 --> 01:32:12,982
I've run my last script,
and it's a winner.
1522
01:32:13,194 --> 01:32:14,354
You'll get your Oscar.
1523
01:32:15,321 --> 01:32:17,403
And I've got my Oswald.
1524
01:32:18,908 --> 01:32:20,899
Bye, now.
1525
01:32:23,371 --> 01:32:24,907
Maude's left me.
1526
01:32:25,123 --> 01:32:26,329
So have I.
1527
01:32:26,541 --> 01:32:27,997
Aw, Virgil, I'm awfully sorry...
1528
01:32:28,209 --> 01:32:29,745
I fired myself.
1529
01:32:29,961 --> 01:32:31,246
Got a new job.
1530
01:32:31,463 --> 01:32:34,079
Well, it's not really new.
1531
01:32:34,299 --> 01:32:37,291
I've been trying for
some time to get back in...
1532
01:32:39,179 --> 01:32:41,010
Before this afternoon.
1533
01:32:41,222 --> 01:32:44,760
Nice to see you again, Mr.
Roberts.
1534
01:32:44,976 --> 01:32:46,216
How come?
1535
01:32:47,771 --> 01:32:52,105
Well, all my life I never had
any real feeling of security
1536
01:32:52,317 --> 01:32:54,023
except in college
and in the Navy.
1537
01:32:54,235 --> 01:32:56,066
Your happiest days.
1538
01:32:56,279 --> 01:32:57,564
I'm appreciative, Mark.
1539
01:32:57,781 --> 01:32:59,781
The job you made for me
and everything you've done.
1540
01:32:59,991 --> 01:33:02,949
But as a very wise
child bride pointed out,
1541
01:33:03,161 --> 01:33:04,617
who needs me around here?
1542
01:33:04,829 --> 01:33:06,911
I'm too old for college
and too young for charity.
1543
01:33:07,123 --> 01:33:08,613
That leaves the Navy.
1544
01:33:09,417 --> 01:33:11,078
Deserter.
1545
01:33:11,294 --> 01:33:12,704
You can send my food packages
1546
01:33:12,921 --> 01:33:16,209
care of the naval base at San Diego.
I'm reporting tonight.
1547
01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:18,210
Aye aye, sir!
1548
01:33:18,426 --> 01:33:19,757
Any further orders?
1549
01:33:19,969 --> 01:33:21,175
Yes.
1550
01:33:21,471 --> 01:33:24,213
Admit you accidentally
married the right girl.
1551
01:33:26,810 --> 01:33:30,974
I guess the Navy shouldn't
meddle in civilian affairs.
1552
01:33:32,273 --> 01:33:33,979
I'll say good-bye to Mrs. c.
1553
01:33:34,192 --> 01:33:35,807
Good-bye, Virgil.
1554
01:33:43,326 --> 01:33:44,907
Hi, Virgil.
1555
01:33:46,996 --> 01:33:48,156
Are you back in the Navy?
1556
01:33:48,373 --> 01:33:50,659
No, I’m in a road company
of madame butterfly.
1557
01:33:51,543 --> 01:33:53,158
Good-bye, Susie.
1558
01:33:53,378 --> 01:33:55,164
I'm leaving him in your hands.
1559
01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:57,837
I'm glad you didn't
sign those papers.
1560
01:33:58,049 --> 01:33:59,164
He's not.
1561
01:33:59,384 --> 01:34:00,840
I've got some
scuttlebutt for you.
1562
01:34:01,052 --> 01:34:02,667
He is, too.
1563
01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:04,073
Now get in there
and make him admit
1564
01:34:04,097 --> 01:34:05,837
he can't live without you.
1565
01:34:06,057 --> 01:34:08,093
No, it's too late now.
1566
01:34:08,309 --> 01:34:10,971
A woman has her pride.
1567
01:34:13,314 --> 01:34:15,930
But I'm not a woman!
1568
01:34:16,151 --> 01:34:17,482
Yet.
1569
01:34:31,249 --> 01:34:33,205
Mr. Christopher!
Why don't you admit
1570
01:34:33,418 --> 01:34:35,374
you can't live without me,
like Virgil said?
1571
01:34:36,421 --> 01:34:38,207
I admit it.
1572
01:34:42,385 --> 01:34:44,467
So do I.
1573
01:34:47,056 --> 01:34:49,138
Well, what do we do now?
1574
01:34:50,476 --> 01:34:51,476
Nothing.
1575
01:34:51,561 --> 01:34:53,893
Don't give me that.
I've been reading.
1576
01:34:54,105 --> 01:34:55,140
Books.
1577
01:34:55,356 --> 01:34:57,472
Nothing because I'm older.
1578
01:34:57,692 --> 01:34:59,353
I'm old enough
to be your mother.
1579
01:34:59,569 --> 01:35:02,231
I remember.
You're 29 going on 30.
1580
01:35:02,572 --> 01:35:04,312
And you're only 17.
1581
01:35:07,243 --> 01:35:10,076
17? I'll be 18 in 4 months.
1582
01:35:10,288 --> 01:35:11,448
I can climb on a horse alone,
1583
01:35:11,623 --> 01:35:12,908
I shoot golf in the low 140s,
1584
01:35:13,124 --> 01:35:14,830
I belong to the best
book-of-the-week club,
1585
01:35:15,210 --> 01:35:17,496
I read the parts of the new
York times I can understand,
1586
01:35:17,712 --> 01:35:19,032
I can smoke
a cigarette half down,
1587
01:35:19,214 --> 01:35:20,499
and I know how to mix drinks.
1588
01:35:20,715 --> 01:35:22,626
Daiquiris... 2 jiggers
of rum, half a lime,
1589
01:35:22,842 --> 01:35:24,602
sugar to taste, pour
over crushed ice, serve.
1590
01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:27,377
Martinis... 5 parts gin,
1 part vermouth, French.
1591
01:35:27,597 --> 01:35:29,383
Stir, but don't bruise the gin.
1592
01:35:29,599 --> 01:35:32,056
Scotch over rocks... that's a
scotch and soda without soda.
1593
01:35:32,268 --> 01:35:34,099
Now, Mark, what more
do you want in a wife?
1594
01:35:34,312 --> 01:35:35,893
I’m a doll and you know it.
1595
01:35:36,105 --> 01:35:37,595
I'm too big to play with dolls.
1596
01:35:37,815 --> 01:35:39,430
I'm ready for
the armchair, a television,
1597
01:35:39,651 --> 01:35:41,437
and a small dog
to bring my slippers.
1598
01:35:43,613 --> 01:35:45,945
I'm a hypersensitive
hypochondriac with hypertension.
1599
01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:47,772
I take pills till I rattle...
1600
01:35:47,992 --> 01:35:49,072
Pills that put me to sleep,
1601
01:35:49,118 --> 01:35:50,233
pills to wake me up,
1602
01:35:50,453 --> 01:35:52,034
pills that remind
me to take pills!
1603
01:35:52,247 --> 01:35:54,327
There's no pill to make a
Benedict out of a bachelor.
1604
01:35:54,499 --> 01:35:55,819
Man and boy, I've
been a bachelor.
1605
01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:57,873
I come from a long
line of bachelors.
1606
01:35:58,086 --> 01:35:59,792
Toot toot! End of
the line, all out!
1607
01:36:00,004 --> 01:36:01,644
Do you realize that
when I'm 50 years old,
1608
01:36:01,839 --> 01:36:02,624
you'll only be...
1609
01:36:02,840 --> 01:36:03,454
31.
1610
01:36:03,675 --> 01:36:04,675
31 years, that's right.
1611
01:36:04,842 --> 01:36:07,174
A woman in her prime, a
woman in full flower.
1612
01:36:07,387 --> 01:36:09,173
And where will I be?
Over the hill!
1613
01:36:09,389 --> 01:36:11,630
We all have to go some time.
1614
01:36:11,849 --> 01:36:13,635
And when I'm 60,
how old will you be?
1615
01:36:13,851 --> 01:36:15,371
I'll never be over 30.
You'll never be over 30.
1616
01:36:15,395 --> 01:36:16,510
The dangerous age.
1617
01:36:16,729 --> 01:36:18,049
Will you be satisfied
to stay home
1618
01:36:18,147 --> 01:36:19,933
and take care of a
broken-down man of 607?
1619
01:36:20,149 --> 01:36:22,014
No, you'll want to
go out and live.
1620
01:36:22,235 --> 01:36:23,850
And me, I'll be just around
1621
01:36:24,070 --> 01:36:25,651
the corner from social security.
1622
01:37:40,855 --> 01:37:44,723
♪ I'm an ordinary guy
with extraordinary luck ♪
1623
01:37:44,942 --> 01:37:48,025
♪ cause it's Susan
who's in my career ♪
1624
01:37:48,237 --> 01:37:52,196
♪ and I'm tacking up a sign
on that ticker of mine ♪
1625
01:37:52,408 --> 01:37:54,194
♪ Susan ♪
1626
01:37:54,410 --> 01:37:56,025
♪ Susan ♪
1627
01:37:57,038 --> 01:38:02,158
♪ Susan slept here ♪
116644
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