All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e18 Good Hack Hunting.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better!

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately!

Brooke:
Hack at your own risk, hackers!

Kevin: On the series premiere
of "nurse hackie"...

-Sir, what's going on?
-I was attacked by mosquitos.

Yeah, I get the urge
to scratch.

But there's a better way.

Of course
there's a better way.

This looks like a pretty clear
enough case to me.

I'll have to amputate.

Amputate?

Excuse me.
I have to scrub in for surgery.

Relax.

I've got pills --
my answer to everything.

Aspirin contains
salicylic acid,

an anti-inflammatory
compound.

We're just going to dip
this in water.

Rubbing it on the bug bite
should draw out that acid

and relieve
the itchiness.

It's working!

Okay, nurse.
Scalpel!

Wait! Stop!

Her hack worked!

Nurse hackie,
you won't get away with this.

Wow, you're stuck
working with that guy?

Mm-hmm.

Kevin: "Nurse hackie" --
not too high to hack it.

-Tonight...
-Hoo!

Brooke:
...On "hack my life"...

Kevin:
Brooke drops the hammer on hacks

to get more use
out of old cosmetics.

Just smashing,
you stupid powder!

Kevin goes hunting for hacks
at a fire station.

I'm gonna sit in the corner and
try to hang on to my eyebrows.

Kevin: And we push our tiny
bladders to the limit

to test your hacks
for holding it in.

All right, let's do this
before I burst.

Brooke:
Plus it's host versus host

as we see who can hack it better
on a road trip.

What's that, Siri?

I'm the winner.

We're putting our best
face forward.

Put on your whore makeup,
as my dad would say.

Kevin: This is "hack my life."

It's host against host...

Brooke:
And hack against hack.

Each one of us
will present a hack,

and the other will
have to top it.

Whoever runs out
of hacks first loses.

Kevin: This is
anything you can hack...

Brooke: I can hack better.

It's time to put the pedal
to the metal...

And find out who's got
the best highway hacks.

Both:
Road-trip edition!

First things first,
I want to get my phone mounted

so I can have a hands-free
navigation station.

All you need to do that
is a rubber band.

I'm just gonna loop it
through my vent.

Pull it through.

I've got my rubber-band mount.

I see your rubber band,

and I raise you the versatile
binder clip, Brooke.

Just jam it on an a/c vent.

Take your cell phone.

Place it inside of
the clip's handles.

You're hands-free
and good to go.

What's that, Siri?

I'm the winner.

Brooke: Okay, "kev,"

let's see who wins when
it comes to snack attacks.

Before I hit the road,

I use a tackle box
to make a "snackle" box.

All of my little snackies
in one tidy container.

No fast-food stops for me.

No, no, no. You're missing
the point, Brooke.

It's not a road trip unless
you stop for some fast food.

You just go ahead
and have your meal,

and then you just hack
a plastic cereal container

into a portable trash bin.

Line it with a bag,
seal it up

so it won't stink up your car.

Mmm, victory.

It's almost as delicious
as these fries.

Are you covering your face
in shame now, Brooke?

In your dreams, kev,
all right?

I'm trying to protect my eyes
from the blazing sun.

But luckily, I brought
a piece of black velvet

to lay across my dashboard.

The velvet absorbs the sun's
rays, and it prevents glare.

I glare you to top that.

Oh, I am one to accept
a glare, and I shall,

with the aid
of this hack here --

some sunglasses.

Time out.
Did you just say sunglasses?

Yeah.

I mean, they do prevent the sun
from getting in your eyes,

but, Kevin,
you're calling that a hack?

All right, I call this one.
You lose.

Okay, fine, I lose.

But at least I look damn good
while doing it.

Do you?

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, it's a scorcher!

I mean, you could cool off
at a water park,

but why spend a bunch
of time and money

just to frolic
around in chlorine

and some stranger's urine,

when you could turn
your own backyard

into a watery wonderland!

This is hack or wack.

Today, I'm joined by Kim,
who's a mother two.

And, Kim, you're gonna help me
hack this limp little noodle

into a backyard
water park.

All right,
let's do it.

You didn't question that
at all.

You seem to believe
that this is gonna work.

I have some faith.

I just didn't believe it
as I said it.

But I think
it can happen.

We need a pool noodle,
some scissors,

some tape,
and some skewers.

All right.

So, take the skewer and Pierce
it straight through the noodle.

You just want to make sure
it pierces all the way through,

like an ex-girlfriend's
Instagram post.

All right, that's enough holes.
-Okay.

We want to cut off about
2 inches of the pool noodle.

Mazel tov!

Use this to cut
a little wedge.

And we're gonna use
this basically

like a foamy little cork.
-Okay.

This is gonna plug up that
hollow center of the noodle.

Now, you can also add some tape
to keep that plug in place.

And then after that, just jam
the hose into the hole

at the top,
and you're good to go.

So, Kim...
-Yeah?

What do you think?

It looks promising.

Are you being 100%
honest right now, Kim?

Okay,
it looks strange.

Kids, what
do you think?

-Yeah.
-Are you ready?

3...

2...

1...

Let there be water!

It's working!

This is awesome!

It's a backyard
water park!

So now,
I'll ask you, Kim,

before we get to the real
judges here...

Do you think this thing
is hack or wack?

Definitely hack.

Kids, what do you think?
Is this thing hack or wack?

-Hack.
-This is a hack?

-Yeah!
-It's not wack at all?

-No.
-You're sure this is a hack?

-Yes.
-100% a hack?

-Yes!
-Okay, cool!

I believe you, then!

Pool-noodle water sprinkler.

It's a hack.

Brooke: Coming up,
it's a mellow-yellow hack mail.

So, as long as you can
hold this position,

you will not
soil yourself.

Find out which of your
bladder-control tricks

is our number-one hack.

Kevin: And later,
take cover!

Hacks to protect yourself
from an angry boss

when the "hack" comes
storming back.

Kevin: On a chilling new episode
of "nurse hackie"...

Ah, nurse.
What do we have here?

Hackie: Patient complaining of
severe cranial pain.

That's fine. Nothing a simple
lobotomy can't fix.

Doctor, look,
in the patient's hands!

Brain freeze.

I need to press your tongue
against the roof of your mouth,

like this.

Nurse, we're wasting valuable
lobotomy time here.

[ Muffled ]
My headache is going away!

Yes!

That's because you're warming up
the blood vessels

in your soft palate.

I feel so much better.

Nurse, I swear,

one of these days,
your hack habits?

They're gonna
catch up to you.

Maybe.

But my pill addiction
has a good shot

of catching up
with me first.

-Pill addiction?
-Anyway...

Another patient cured!
Nice work, doctor.

Kevin: "Nurse hackie" --
she'll hack you up.

Maybe you had one too many
ventis at the local coffee shop.

Or maybe there's strict
one-in/one-out policy

when it comes to beverages
in your bladder.

Oh, man,
I am so close.

Well, Brooke,
you're in luck!

This is hack mail.

So, Brooke and I have been
basically chugging water all day

and we have not
relieved ourselves,

so whichever hack reduces
our acute desire

to urinate today
will be awarded our...

Both:
Hack seal of approval!

All right, let's do this
before I burst.

Hack number one comes
from Dan in buffalo.

Okay, okay.

Uh, are we doing this together?
-I'm gonna scratch my calf.

I don't know if I can get
out of this position.

Okay.

This is doing nothing.

Kev.
I'm gonna piss all over my own calf.

Okay.

No. No.

Our second hack comes just
from Lacey in Dallas, tejas.

Just gonna
warm up the area.

Gonna get bundled -- oh, you're
going right to the source.

You're targeted.
-Yeah.

Kevin, I don't know.

Yeah.

How's your bladder?

I'm actually doing okay.

When you start doing the tap
dance 'cause you have to pee,

it's kind of like the same tap
dance you do when you're cold.

So now that
I'm warming myself up,

I'm feeling a little
less jittery.

I don't know that
I'm milliseconds away

from wetting myself.

It's still definitely
in my future.

There's a little
something to that.

I've found a nice place
in my head.

But do you feel like
you have to pee? I still have to pee.

I still have to pee.
Okay.

Our third hack comes from Ashley
in San clemente, California.

So, Bridges.

Feet down,
and then just get it up.

Come on!

So, as long as you can
hold this position,

you will not
soil yourself.

Yeah. I just wonder
how people feel

about doing this
in the grocery store.

Sure.
Those long subway rides home.

At a concert.

I can stick around
for the encore now.

Now, what happens when my
other muscles start to hurt?

Yeah.

I think we've been bamboozled.
-We have.

Why don't we
go to the bathroom,

then decide which of these
three is the winner.

-Yes. Okay.
-Okay.

Sweet, sweet relief.

Sweet release.

So, scratching the calf
did not do anything

to alleviate
my urge to pee.

Our second hack
was all about warmth.

I felt comfy and safe.
-I did, too.

It was a like a nice
little cocoon,

that if I did
happen to pee in,

so be it.

Our final hack was in fact
the glute squeeze.

Mnn.

Pick your favorite yoga posish',
and just crush it!

Just...
Until you don't have to pee anymore.

Except that moment
never came for me.

What about you?
-I'd rather piss myself

than lay down
and do glute exercises.

I think that's more
socially acceptable.

I think there's
a clear number one.

Oh!
Ha-ha.

Congrats to you,
Lacey from Dallas.

You and your warmth
hack get our...

Both:
Hack seal of approval!

I feel so good.
Do you want to go drinking?

I actually
need to pee again.

♪♪

♪♪

Kevin: She's demanding.

She's unreasonable.

And she holds your
economic livelihood

in her perfectly
manicured grip!

To make it in this workplace,

you'll need
a hack line of defense

against your nightmare boss.

Your boss has a breakfast
meeting in 20 minutes

and just noticed
the pleats in her skirt

aren't sharp enough
to cut glass.

I don't think anyone
will notice.

Right on it, boss.

The heat is on!
But don't lose your cool.

Just lay the skirt
out on a table

and take a flat iron
to the pleats.

Before you know it,
those creases will be sharper

than your boss's next put-down!

You made it back to your boss's
desk with a minute to spare.

Just enough time to learn
that she cancelled the meeting

and started a new diet.

But it looks like her dog,
bitzy,

hasn't quit the carbs
or dairy!

Now this pampered poodle
has cream cheese matted

into the hair on her snout!

Good thing you know that coating
a dog brush with cornstarch

and combing it onto bitzy's
snout will absorb grease

and leave her fur looking whiter
than your boss's snowy mane.

Come on, bitzy, we're getting
you home to your mom!

After taking bitzy for a quick
walk, it's off to lunch!

[ Cellphone rings ]

Or is it?

Don't crack so close
to break time.

Just "smone" it in!
-Hey, boss!

Smiling while talking
on the phone

will make you sound happier
and more pleasant.

Even fake smiling
releases chemicals

that improve your mind-set.
-Bye!

Now, that is some good
"smone" etiquette.

Bitzy is bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed,

but your nightmare boss
is fading.

She needs a caffeine fix!

Like, now.

Though you imported
your boss's favorite

raw coffee beans last week,

getting them ready to brew
is another matter.

If you can't find
a coffee roaster,

an old popcorn air popper
will do the trick.

Just drop in the beans,
tilt the popper back,

and let 'er roar
for seven to eight minutes.

Long enough to ponder what
you're doing with your life.

Brooke: Coming up,

Kevin hunts for hacks
in a firehouse

and winds up between the sheets
with two firefighters.

At the risk of sounding
like a complete creeper,

can I see
where you sleep?

Kevin: Plus our lazy
beauty expert gets fired up.

Why does everything with
a lighter look so illegal?

Kevin: Find out how to get more
use out of your old cosmetics

when the "hack" comes back.

What's up, hack heads?

It's me, Terrell.

And welcome back to my channel,
hax unboxed.

Look at this box.

I have a tuna-can pizza cutter.

We're gonna open this box up.

Now, look at this.

I like how this is made.

Let's take this out.

Oh, it just slides out.

And it looks like this is
an actual tuna-can top,

and it's put together
with a bolt.

I like it!

So, we have a pizza here.

I'm gonna keep the instructions
right there

because I'm dealing
with a deadly weapon.

All right.
Sharp end here.

"Then gently press down
and push the cutter

with the ruler handle
across your pizza."

Here we go.

Yes!

Just like a pizza cutter!

Mm-hmm.

Mmm, that's good too!

Like, comment, and subscribe.

I want to hear what you think
about this --

this here pizza-cutter
situation.

Is this dishwasher-safe?

Hell no!

If you break it,
just get a new one.

Our phones are a part
of our lives

we can barely live without.

But sometimes they need
to be replaced.

Whether they wear out, break, or
we just want the latest model.

So today, we're trying
to upgrade our phones

ahead of schedule
by gaming the system.

I'm with
comedian Josh androsky.

We've got a few tricks
up our sleeves

that he's gonna
put to the test.

Have you ever tried anything to
weasel your way into an upgrade?

Do you have any skills?
-Oh, yeah.

The key to me,
I think, is, like,

getting in a relationship
with the salesperson.

-I like that.
-Yeah.

We actually have
a Mark behind us.

He's the guy working
at that kiosk.

The thinking is that a small
business will be more responsive

to our hacks
than a chain store.

It sells current upgraded
retail phones.

-Yeah!
-They've even got floor models.

Brooke: Speaking of that,
here's hack number one --

offer to take a floor model
used for customer demos.

Depending on how much of
an upgrade you're trying to get,

the retailer
might let you have

one of the phones
from the display.

So I want to see if Josh
can make that happen.

He's able to hear me

through this little
communication device.

Josh, do you hear me?

Yeah.
Hey.

I think I'm ready to go
in and do it, dude.

That's perfect.
That's what we want.

Hey.
How are you?

-Good.
-Hey, Jack.

I'm Josh.
-Josh.

Yeah,
nice to meet you, Jack.

I'm looking for
an upgrade.

I got this phone.

Are you eligible
for an upgrade right now?

I think I should be
eligible, so...

Or we could just
skip the hassle,

and then I could just like,
maybe take, ehhh,

maybe this, like,
floor model right there.

I wish I could.
The only, like, floor model

that we can sell...
-Okay, there we go.

Oh.
Okay.

-And, like, the --
-yeah, like a flip phone.

That's just cool.
Did you get this at a museum?

No. And that's
the only floor model

that, you know,
I'd be able to do.

I'm gonna give you this,
and...

-Sorry about that.
-No worries.

It's, um...

That was not --
that did not work.

No, no.
Josh, don't give up.

You have to try
hack number two --

threaten to cancel your service.

Ohh, that's good.

Yeah.

If you claim you're
so dissatisfied

that you want to end
your service,

the provider might
give you a new phone,

as opposed to lose
you as a customer.

Okay.

Kiosk Jack.
-Yeah.

-How are you, buddy?
-Good.

You know, I did
some thinking, and...

I am not terribly happy
with my wireless service.

And it's not,
like, your fault.

Like, I don't want you
to feel bad or whatever.

-Sure.
-But...

I am gonna cancel my service
if I don't get a better phone.

That's good.

I mean, I totally understand
where you're coming from,

you know, and obviously
we'd hate to see you go.

Why don't I at least give
our retention center a call?

I can't promise --
yeah, call the retention center.

I'll just be here.

You guys,
this might happen.

This might
actually go down.

I think it's working.

I do too.
He's talking to the higher ups.

Yes.
Exactly.

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

It's taking a while.

He's talking.
He's not stopping.

You're still in the game.
You're still in the game.

Thank you.
I really appreciate that.

-Perfect. Thank you.
-Still in the game.

Good news.

I got approval.
-Oh, that's fantastic!

We're gonna get your upgrade
eligibility bumped up early.

That is so --
can I give you a hug?

Let's do it.
Let's hug it out. Yeah.

This is beautiful thing
happening right now.

I want to talk about this guy
today, so that way you're --

that's great. It's a smartphone.
It doesn't flip.

That's good.

I love it, dude.

I love phones,
I love getting stuff,

and I especially love
getting phone stuff.

-We gamed the system.
-We did it!

♪♪

♪♪

I'm Kevin pereira.

Many consider me to be

the world's foremost expert
on hacking.

And today, my never-ending
quest for new hacks

has brought me to
fire station 102.

My mission?

Observe firefighters
in their natural habitat

until I discover
their best hack,

and bring it to
the viewers at home.

This is Kevin pereira,
hack hunter.

Meet Max and hennessey.

They've agreed to let me
shadow them.

My hunt begins with
an overview of their gear.

What's the average time
between a phone ringing

and you guys
getting ready?

We need to get out of the
station within two minutes.

So, this is sort of standard
gear that you would throw on

within two minutes?
-Yes.

As soon as I saw this peculiar
trouser-and-boot combination,

I suspected it might
be our first hack.

It's a quicker way for us
to get dressed.

So when we get the call
and we're stepping in,

it's just one quick step.

So this could be used, like,
if parents have fussy kids

and they need to get
to school on time...

-Yeah.
-...They could actually make

a mini game out of this.
-Exactly.

The firemen let me try
on the rest of their gear,

to see if I could
discover another hack.

But there were no more
to be found here.

You guys wear this stuff?

And yet, the air was thick
with the scent of hacking,

and it seemed to be
coming from the kitchen.

I had found a hack for

getting kids out the door
in the morning.

Perhaps I could find out
how to keep them fed as well.

This is crock-pot lasagna?
-Yeah.

What's step one to making
crock-pot lasagna?

So, step one is always --
we don't like to do dishes.

So you're gonna line the actual
crock-pot with some tinfoil.

There you go.
-Okay.

Kevin: The tinfoil hack was
brilliant in its simplicity.

But my desire to find an even
better hack was insatiable.

Much like Max
and hennessey's hunger

for processed cheese.

I would just do
the whole thing.

-Do it.
-It's good.

-Yeah.
-All right.

I had a hunch where I would
find the next hack,

so I asked the firefighters
to take me there.

Gents, great room.

Love the low ceilings
and the florescent bulbs.

That's great.
Where do you sleep?

What we do when we need to go to
sleep is put up a Murphy bed.

Oh.

Though undeniably neat,
the Murphy bed was not a hack,

so I bravely pressed on.

For this shift at this time,
this where I'm sleeping.

Next shift comes up,
the person who's gonna

relieve me
is gonna share the same bed.

How do you get away
with that without

doing laundry constantly?

Well, one thing we do is
add new sheets.

-Sort of like a tear-away.
-Flip it out.

-Clean layer.
-Then you got a clean layer.

Okay, that works.

Through the simple act of adding
more sheets to their bed,

these wise firefighters
had banished laundry

from their chore list.

At last, I had found a hack that
all my viewers could use.

It's a great
little hack.

My hack hunt
at the firehouse

had come to
a successful conclusion,

and so I allowed myself
to enjoy a well-earned meal

of crock-pot lasagna.

But only for a moment,

for there are always
new hacks out there

waiting to be discovered,
and I will find them.

Because I am
Kevin pereira, hack hunter.

Up next,
Brooke fixes her busted makeup

the way she fixes everything...

With alcohol!
The rubbin' kind.

Kevin: Hacks to save your
cosmetics when we return.

Kevin: On the emotional finale
of "nurse hackie"...

Nurse hackie,
listen.

What I'm about to show you --
it isn't pretty.

Is that a --
yeah, it's an old band-aid.

I'm just terrified of how
much this is gonna hurt

when I go to pull it off.

I need cotton balls
and some baby oil.

Here.

We're just gonna dip
the cotton ball in the baby oil.

Rub it all over the band-aid
to loosen the adhesive.

You ready?
-[ Muffled ] I guess!

No! No, no, no.

Oh, the band-aid's gone.

Listen,
no one can ever know about this.

If word got out that I let
a nurse use a hack on me,

I'd be ruined
as a doctor.

So...

You won't mind filling out
this prescription for me.

Okay.

Doctor, I think you and I
are going to make a great team.

What just happened?

"Nurse hackie" -- ethically
questionable, but damn good.

♪♪

Hey, guys!
It's me, Brooke.

So, here's the deal, gang.

My cosmetic bag looks like
a hot mess right now.

My mascara is all dried out.

My lipstick is broken.

And my compact is so cracked,
it looks like the mojave desert.

Well, good thing I've got some
tricks to revive this makeup.

Let's start by getting this
dried-out mascara moist again.

All you need is a little bit
of saline solution.

And you just take 10 drops.

Put it directly into
the tube of mascara.

And you can even screw the cap
all the way back on

and shake it up like a Martini!

Right?

Who likes drinking
in the morning?

I do.

Okay.

Let's see how it looks
on the paper.

Ooh, that's awesome!

That's amazing!

Okay, let's move on
to our broken lipstick.

I've got a quick fix.

All you need is a lighter
and a cotton swab.

Use the lighter to slightly melt
what's left of the lipstick.

Why does everything with
a lighter look so illegal?

So, this is melted.

Then you simply take
the broken piece of lipstick,

and then plunk this
right back in like so.

And that is looking good
as new, in my opinion.

You can put on your whore
makeup, as my dad would say.

Our final problem --
this smashed compact.

Don't worry.

We're gonna solve this problem
the way I like

to solve all my problems,
with alcohol!

The rubbin' kind.

What we're gonna do is
essentially smash it

into even finer bits of powder.

Just be sure to wrap
the compact in plastic

before you Joe pesci it up
and go crazy with a hammer.

And just get in there!

And just smashing,
you stupid powder!

Just get --

okay!
So, it's, um...

Been pulverized.

So what we're gonna do next

is just take a little bit
of rubbing alcohol

and gently pour it
into the compact.

You're gonna want to turn
your powder into wet Clay.

And we're just gonna
set aside the compact.

And once the rubbing alcohol
has evaporated,

you will have good-as-new
pressed powder.

And look.

We did one in advance
so I can show you.

Big reveal!

"What?!
Oh, my god!

It's powder!
It's not broken anymore!"

So, you guys,
we have three hacks

that basically gave
your makeup bag a makeover.

And with all that money
you just saved,

go fix yourself up, girl.

Now [clicks tongue]
get on out of here.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0