All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e17 Keep on Hacking.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these
hacks make it worse,

stop what you're
doing immediately!

Brooke: Hack at
your own risk, hackers.

[ Screams ]

Kevin: On an unforgettable
"hacks del corazón"...

Señor, do you like this
fine oil portrait of me?

It is nice, dear.

Then, why do you not
hang it on the wall?

Is it because this was
painted by my illicit lover?

Isí!

But, also,
there is no hook on the back

from which to hang it.

No!

But don't worry,
my little chinchilla.

[ Trumpet plays ]

By taking the tab
from my can of cerveza

and then screwing it
into the frame with a wire,

the painting is now
ready to be mounted.

Señor.

[ Drill whirs ]

Ooh!

Now, where
do you want it?

Ooh.

-Like this?
-Sí, sí, just like that.

Tilt it a little
to the right.

Perfecto.

Oh. Ohh!

Aaah!

[ Thuds ]

Iseñor!

Is this the end
of señor solución?

Find out, on the next
"hacks del corazón."

Brooke: Tonight...

-Hit me!
-...On "hack my life"...

-Oh!
-Oh!

10-4, good buddies.

Kevin goes inside
the world of trucking

to get the 20 on some hacks.

Kevin: We see if we can
score some drive-through

without a car.

Hello!

[ Horn honks ]
Okay. All right.

And find out if
this hack delivery

will spruce up your salad.

-Brace yourself.
-Oh!

I'm dumber than a reporter
in the middle of a hurricane,

telling you that
it's wet outside!

-This...
-Oh, my god.

That one really hurts.
-...Is "hack my life."

-Ooh, baby hung'y.
-All right.

-Let's do it.
-So, well, that's good.

I'm glad this is open.
-Hello?

Is anybody there?
Oh, no.

See, most drive-through have
a strict "vehicles only" policy.

What about the times
in your life when

your only option
is walking through

the drive-through
on foot?

Yes, like, let's say
the dine-in section is closed

or your car's in the shop.

Or if you're like me
and you need a burger real bad

and you're in
no position to drive.

You don't want her driving,
sober or otherwise -- trust me.

No, you don't.
So, let's get some food

and hack a solution.

This is
gaming the system.

All right, look,
we're not here to show you

how to mess with
fast-food workers.

No.

But we do want
to get through

the drive-through
without a vehicle.

And there is a method
to our madness.

You see, the drive-throughs --
they want to stop passer-bys

from triggering the speaker,

so they Bury sensors
in the ground.

Like, they could be magnets.
They could be wave-related.

Woman: Welcome.
Can I take your order, please?

We're gonna see
if we can game those sensors

and get a meal
without the ride.

For our first hack,
we're using a shopping cart.

We're gonna hope that
the metal will set off

the magnetic sensors in
the drive-through

and alert the cashier
to our presence.

[ Cart rattling ]

All right,
this is the sensor.

Hello?

I don't even know
if that's how that works.

I didn't hear the -- I didn't
hear the speaker click on.

Hello?
Anybody there?

[ Horn honks ]

Oh.

There's a car --
there's a car behind us.

Why didn't
you tell me?

Uh, hello?
All right, so I don't think

it's magnets --
it's probably based off weight,

so we got to try
something else first.

[ Horn honks ]
Okay. All right.

Nope. Didn't work.

[ Buzzer ]

For hack number 2,
we're going with something

a little more heavy-duty,
our old friend, the dumpster --

considerably heavier
than the shopping cart.

I think it'll trigger
those sensors.

All right.

[ Laughs ]
Mm.

Look who's back.

Uh, hello?

Come on. That's got
to be heavy enough.

That's got to be.

Woman: Welcome.
May I take your order, please?

[ Laughs ]
Ooh!

I'm gonna have a number 12,

and I'm gonna add
a side of avocado.

Make that two sides
of avocado.

Two sides of avocado.

Drive up to
the next window, please.

Just gonna have to wheel you
around like this.

I'm sorry.

Faster! Faster!

Come on.
I'm getting there.

Fast!

-Push! Mush!
-Act normal.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Only vehicles, guys.
Sorry. Not my rule.

[ Sighs ]

All right, then you
need a vehicle.

Yes. We need a vehicle.
They need a vehicle.

-She's gonna be at fault.
-Let's just get a vehicle, then.

-Okay.
-Hack didn't work!

[ Buzzer ]

So, I'm not
admitting defeat.

No, me neither.

But we don't have food.

-Hi.
-For Brooke?

-Brooke?
-Yep.

Kevin: Which is why hack
number 3 is to just call a car

and just have the driver
take you through.

[ Chuckling ] Oh,
we meet again, friend.

Well, well, well.

Woman: Can I take
your order, please?

A number 12, please,
with a side of avocado.

Drive up to
the next window, please.

Just don't make
eye contact with her.

Kevin: Yeah, no,
she's very aggressive.

Thank you.

Actually, you can
stop right here.

And, yep,
right here is good.

Did a lot to get
this food, but...

Mission accomplished.
-Hmm.

So, it doesn't have
to beyour

but it does have
to bea

yeah.
We didn't exactly

game the system, but we did
manage to get our food.

I'm hungry.
Can we just eat, please?

Yeah, let's eat.
You got the avocado?

It didn't happen.
Yeah.

Okay.

[ Screech ]

♪♪

[ Slash! ]

♪♪

[ Beatboxing ]

♪♪

Oh, hey, friends.

Welcome to let's make a thing,

where one man's trash
is another man's treasure.

Let's see what's
in the box today.

Ohh.

A hula-hoop.

[ Chuckling ] Amazing!

Now, if you've ever
run into me at burning man,

you know that when I'm naked,

I can work some magic
with this thing.

However, today,
we're turning this hula-hoop

into an outdoor shower
for your backyard.

It's perfect for anyone
who's dreamed of bathing

under the stars but doesn't
want to spend the money

to have an actual
outdoor shower installed.

[ Clatters ]

All you need are
a few simple items, like a hose,

a nozzle for that hose,
shower-curtain rings,

a shower curtain, some tape,
and some rope, and that's it.

[ Box thuds lightly ]

[ Sighs ]

So, let's make a thing.

Let's use the power
of our imaginations

to turn these ladders
and that wood pole

into trees in your backyard.

We've got our base.

Now we need to build a shower.

Step one -- we're actually
gonna attach this hose

right in the middle
of our magical tree branch.

That is about center.

And now we're gonna
secure with some tape.

Next, we're gonna
prep this hula-hoop

so we can hang it
from our trees.

That's where we're
gonna use our rope.

I'm cutting three pieces,

depending upon how high
you want the curtain to hang.

Okay, so, now we're going
to tie the three pieces

of the rope evenly
around our hula-hoop.

I'll grab some tape,
securing at each knot.

The last thing you want
is it popping off,

and then everybody seeing
that you're a nature buff.

Then we're gonna take
all three ends of our rope.

Tie these all up together
in the center.

We're gonna hang our hoop.

So, now let's
hang our shower curtain.

The shower curtain rings --
attach them to the hoop.

All right,
and that should do it.

Huh? Look at this.

In here, uncle
can't hear me scream.

[ No audio ]

[ Chuckling ] Great.

Certainly looks like a shower.

All that's left is to get wet.

Hit me!

Oh!

It works!

We made a thing.

This is great!

I knew it'd work.

I don't have
to be standing it in.

I'm dumber than a reporter
in the middle of a hurricane,

telling you that
it's wet outside!

-Coming up...
-[ Gasps ]

Brooke: ...The plot thickens
on "hacks del corazón."

And these flat, lifeless
pillows give me no comfort.

Plus, we get another
hack delivery,

but is the juice
worth the squeeze

for this citrus-spraying device?

He's losing
tomato juice.

Get zesty when we return.

Kevin: On a mind-numbing
"hacks del corazón"...

Señor solución emerges
from his coma.

[ Gasps ]
Where am I?

Who are you?

Who am I?

Oh, no.

Amnesia!

[ Dramatic music plays ]
[ Gasps ]

I'm sorry,
stranger lady.

My head feels
like a used piñata,

and these flat, lifeless
pillows give me no comfort.

These pillows,
like your brain,

have taken
a serious beating.

[ Grunts ]
Whoa!

But placing them in direct
sunlight for two hours

will evaporate
all of the drool and sweat

that the downing feathers
have absorbed.

Oh.

Now my head feels
muy warm and cozy.

It is as if it is being
placed in the warm bosom

of my very st--
I want to say --

Maureen.

No.

Gladys.

No.

Pepper.

No!

Paprika?
No.

Kevin: "Hacks del corazón."

Carrie?
No.

Is your name "no"?

Pbht.

Brooke, noooo!

Kevin.

Brooke, what if
I could promise you

no more seeds in your salad
and no more juice on your hands?

I'm listening.

[ Doorbell rings ]

[ Gasps ]
This is hack delivery.

Ooh.
Ta-da!

You know, not all
hacks are homemade.

In hack delivery, we test out
existing products

you can buy online
that are built around hacks

and decide whether to
keep it or send it back.

There you go.
Ooh, thanks.

Yeah.

This is stem,
the citrus spritzer.

It promises to turn
your boring meal into

a citrus sensation
by converting

a piece of fruit into
a spritzer. Tsst! Tsst!

According to stem,
it has serrated teeth

for simple insertion, and it is
small and easy to store.

Yeah.

I could lose this
inside me.

Should we put
this to the test?

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

We've set up a little
citrus showdown to help us

decide if the stem
is a hack we want to keep

or if we want to send off.

Brooke: We're gonna go
three rounds with the stem

to see if it holds up to
its citrus-spritzing claims.

To really put it to the test,
we're gonna try spritzing

with lemons, oranges,

and the ultimate
spray challenge, tomatoes.

Let's do it.

Oh, serrated teeth!

Oh! Okay!

[ Grunts ]
Oh, there we go.

-Yeah.
-Oh, there's so much

essence of lemon.
Ooh!

Kevin: Not a lot
of lemon juice on my hands.

Yeah.
I'm impressed.

Can it get through
the orange?

-Ooh.
-Let's go, cutie.

-Oh, okay.
-Oh, right in.

-There's a system.
-Not a problem.

Whoo!

-Fine, even mist of citrus.
-Yes!

Brooke: I would just spritz
this right into my face.

Right? Yeah.

This thing has done
a pretty darn good job.

Yeah. I don't know,
but this sprays...

Tomato's gonna
be different.

It's not what
this thing is made for,

but let's try it anyway.

-Mm.
-'Cause we all love a nice

tomato drizzle or spritz
on our salad.

-Oh, my.
-Really juicy.

-Man.
-Oh!

-Oh, okay.
-What -- this is --

oh, no. That one's
juicing out a little bit.

-Ugh! Ohh!
-Do people do this?

Who spritzes
tomato on a salad?

-[Bleep]
-Medic!

-You're gonna be fine, buddy!
-Just hold on.

He's losing
tomato juice.

I'm giving him
a transplant. Oh, no!

Oh, he's bleeding now!

And the tomato was a mess,
but, then again,

they don't call it
a tomato spritzer.

For this hack delivery,
are we buying this,

or are we
sending it back?

It's simple -- I really like
this product, personally.

-We're buying it!
-We're buying it!

I liked the even mist.

"Orange" you glad
I brought a mister?

[ Crickets chirping ]

♪♪

[ Ding! ]

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Kevin: It's the hack
lifetime achievement awards.

Tonight, we recognize
an item that's demonstrated

continued excellence
in the pursuit of hacking --

dryer sheets.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Dryer sheets first graced our
screen as a bug repellent hack

that rubbed us the right way.

[ Laughter and applause ]

Dryer sheets are always up
for a challenging role,

like when it tamed the bed head
of this one-night stand.

[ Audience "ohh"s ]

Dryer sheets will surely
continue in its many roles

to come, like helping wipe
bugs off a car's windshield.

[ Laughter and applause ]

And in its sharpest
performance yet,

dryer sheets help
a dull pair of scissors

find their purpose in life
by putting the edge

back on the blades.

[ Cheers and applause ]
However they're used,

dryer sheets always provide a
fresh solution to old problems.

Congratulations on your
lifetime achievement award.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Brooke: Up next...

[ Air horn blows ]
...Kevin gets behind the wheel

and on the road.

You make nachos?
In a truck, you make nachos?

-Yeah.
-Still to come,

I do some permanent hacking.

[Bleep] This.
Oh, my god.

Stay tuned.

[ Clicks ]
What's up, everybody?

And welcome back to another

unboxing sesh
with your boy Terrell.

This is hax unboxed.

I've got a wind chime
made out of flowerpots.

It's a flowerpot wind chime.

So let's see if there's
a box within a box,

because there's nothing.

It's white.

Nothing wrong with white, but
I just -- this is a white box.

I want to see color pop,
some something in here.

Oh, it's so pretty.

It's so pretty.

Let's get rid of this
ugly white box it came in.

[ Box thuds ]
Get rid of the box.

I'll just pull
this out like that.

Oh, oh!

We got a live one.
Okay.

Someone made this
stringing rope

with wooden balls on it
through flowerpots.

Hackers, I love this!

"Hang it from a tree."

Well, I don't go outside, but
let me see what I have in here.

I'm just gonna
hang it right here.

You can hang it wherever
you damn well please.

You ain't got to follow
directions all the time.

You can even add your own wind.

[ Chimes clanking ]
Come on!

Dude, what other noise
would you want to hear

in your bedroom when
you're trying to sleep?

So useful!

Flowerpot wind chimes --
what will you think of next?

Like, comment, subscribe.
See ya!

♪♪

Going to the spa involves
three things I like the least --

leaving the house,
spending money,

and letting strangers touch me,
so I say bring the spa to you.

Today, we're gonna hack
some skin-care treatments

using ingredients you already
have around the house.

And here to help me
is my best friend, Andrea.

-Hey.
-She's an aesthetician

who's helped a lot of people
hack their way into beauty.

What do you want
to start off with?

A nourishing, hydrating face
mask using avocado and cucumber.

We're literally
feeding our face.

Absolutely.
Take this avocado.

Scoop and mash.
Okay.

Avocado is full of
vitamin e, super hydrating.

Okay, one for me.

[ Laughs ]
One for the bowl.

[ Laughter ]

Meanwhile, I'm just gonna
slice up these cucumbers.

Cucumber -- really calming,
super hydrating.

[ Whirring ]

Mix in with the avocados.

Just keep mashing.

You just want this like almost
guacamole-type consistency.

I would eat this
for breakfast.

Mm-hmm.

[ Audience "ooh"s ]

While that is chilling, we will
make De-puffing eye pads.

Cucumber and green tea
is gonna help wake you up

and diminish dark circles
and puffiness.

Love that.
You inspired me

'cause you do look
terrible in the morning.

Thank you.

[ Laughter ]

Just gonna dice up
our cucumber here.

Okay.

Toss that in.

And then add
our green tea.

Just gonna liquefy it.

Smells like health.

[ Ding! ]
[ Laughter ]

Put the eye pads
into the bowl.

You just want
to saturate.

After they're
nice and soaked,

then we're just gonna
pull them out.

Okay.
These are gonna go

right into the freezer.
Mm!

[ Cheers and applause ]

You're some sort of wizard.

Thank you.

Here's to best friends who
also happen to be aestheticians.

And the best spa day ever.

And...boom.
And boom.

Let's do this.

Mmm.

[ Whip, splat! ]

[ Sighs ]

Oh, turn that Enya on.

[ Slow music plays ]

Oh, my god.

Ooh, gosh, they're cold.

Wow. Wow.
Ohh!

Oh! Okay.

♪♪

[ Sizzle! ]

♪♪

Kevin: I'm Kevin pereira.

Many consider me to be
the world's foremost expert

on hacking.

Today, my never-ending quest
for hacks will bring me

down a new road, a road owned
by the tribe of people known as

"truckers."

[ Door thud echoes ]

My mission -- to seek out hacks

from the trucking world
to bring home to the masses.

[ Air horn blows ]

This is "Kevin pereira,
hack hunter."

I set out to meet Paul, who'd
been driving big rigs for years.

Paul claimed to be a hack expert

in the fine art
of on-the-road dining.

Some people dine and dash.
I dash and dine.

Since truckers are
usually forced to eat

only at rest stops
and greasy spoons,

I was cautiously optimistic
about what Paul had in store.

I got some
nachos for you.

You make nachos?

-Truck, yeah.
-In a truck, you make nachos.

Yeah. You pick up
a few things --

a little crunch,
a little protein.

I chose the beef jerky.

Where's the cheese? Oh.
String cheese.

Oh, string cheese.
It's easy, just a little --

you can judge
the amount of cheese.

Yeah.

You also need
aluminum foil --

it makes a little oven.

Love it. That's smart.
Natural resources.

Set it on the dash there.
The sun cooks it up real nice.

Look at that.

♪♪

Mmm!

Cooking on your dash with
the sun was a hack, indeed.

With a hack under my belt,
I met up with Sean,

who claimed to have hacks
for staying fit on the road.

Trucking.
Yep.

It's mostly seated.
Correct.

So, how can you stay
in shape when your job

is to literally
sit and drive?

You maximize
what you've got.

I would use
the stairs here.

So you're transforming
the truck into

a fitness center
on the road?

Yeah.

Single-leg squat.
Oh, yeah.

Okay. That hurts just
to look, actually.

Any steep step could be
turned into gym equipment.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

But could man get fit
on one step alone?

So, now, what's with
the resistance band?

Okay, the resistance band I
would use inside of the handle.

You can work out anything there.
You can do curls.

-You can do kickbacks.
-Right.

I knew right away that this hack
went beyond trucking.

I knew right away that this hack
went beyond trucking.

While I'd found hacks
for personal maintenance,

I figured truckers might have
hacks for vehicle maintenance.

I was hopeful that
my next encounter

with big-rig driver Jim
would prove me right.

Needless to say, you spend a lot
of time inside of a truck.

That's right.
If something like

my windshield fogs up,
for a truck driver,

that can be a huge issue.

It could put you
behind schedule.

Could put you
in the ditch.

And, sometimes, you wipe it,
and it's right back --

it won't go away.
Yeah.

There's a hack.

Good old-fashioned
shaving cream.

Put a little dab
on the glass.

You just smear
that stuff around,

and that'll give you a layer,
a coating on the glass,

and the water won't
condense on it.

Jim wasn't alone in his
struggle with foggy windows.

Anyone with a car
or even a home could relate.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Now it was time to push on.

The road ahead is long and full
of hacks, which I will find,

because I am Kevin pereira,
hack hunter.

Brooke: Up next...

-You ready?
-The needle's about to drop.

I get new ink...

Oh, my god.
That one really hurts.

...when the "hack" comes back.

Kevin: On the dizzying finale
of "hacks del corazón"...

I appreciate your attempts
to cure my amnesia,

beautiful stranger,
but my mind is gone.

I must go start
my new life now.

But what will you do?

Move to the suburbs,
lease a mid-size sedan,

get business cards that say
"Dale gumphries, cpa."

Well, adiós.

Wait!

Write me, wherever
you wind up, with this!

A pencil?

Sprayed with perfume?

The sense of smell
is strongly linked to memory.

[ Sniffs ] Mm.

Gardenia, just like
my wife wears.

Wait!

You are my wife!

My amnesia is...No más.

You remember me!

Sí.

But I also remember
it was your illicit affair

with the painter
that caused my amnesia!

[ Sighs deeply ]
[ Grunting ]

I have left the painter
for another man.

[ Whoosh! ]

Dale gumphries.

Cpa.

Mm!
Mm!

"Hacks del corazón."

Brooke: Hey, it's me, Brooke.

I've been hacking all
your lives for years.

I look like
Jabba the Hut.

I'm available
for contracting work.

But lately, I'm realizing
my own life

could use some hacking, too.

Oh, mama, no!
Can't have shoes.

This is hack Brooke's life.

Fun fact about
the Van poppelens --

my brother and I both
made bad decisions

that led to some really bad ink.

Today, we're finally
exploring some hacks

for covering up bad tattoos.

"To live is Christ."
Right.

"To die is gain."

So, and, then, here, this one,
I have talk of being crucified.

Okay. "I have been
crucified with Christ."

With Christ.
You went big.

Went big.
Do you remember

when I came home
with all this?

Yeah.
I was in a rockabilly phase.

Yeah.
I hate my tattoo.

Like, I really don't know
what to cover it with.

Mm-hmm.
So, I'm gonna definitely

talk to a tattoo artist.

It's not that I necessarily
despise the tattoo.

Right.
It's just that it can be

an awkward conversation.

Right, like,
I know you have

a new client meeting
later today.

Yeah. I have to be
in short sleeves.

Right.
And I just don't want

that coming up, right?

So, yeah.
Like, what can I do and...

Make it go away
for a day and...

I have a really, really great
makeup artist friend.

She's got some really awesome
ideas and hacks for you.

-Hi, Brad.
-Yeah, hey, good to meet you.

-Nice to meet you, too.
-Yeah.

So, we definitely have
some tattoo hacks

that we can do with things
you can buy at a drugstore,

things that are easily
available to most people.

All right.
Have a seat.

-Hi.
-Hello.

Emily,
thank you so much.

Oh.
I appreciate it.

No problem. I got you.
You're here to help me.

You're here to help me.
[ Laughs ]

What are the tricks of the trade
when you deal with cover-ups?

Most people don't
really like hearing this,

but you're gonna
want to go bigger.

Okay, well, let's fix it.

Sometimes, it helps
to be intricate.

The shading and all those
nuances are really gonna help

trick the eye into going
everywhere but the tattoo

that you're covering up.

Bam!
[ Gasps ]

Ta-da.

I can't see him.

Putting a skull over it
is brilliant.

That is a hack.

Sign me up.
I'm doing it.

Oh, it's gonna hurt.

Your tattoo was black.

Blacks all either have, like,
a blue or green base to it.

So, we would take
a red lip liner

to counterbalance the Greens
and blues in your tattoos.

The drier the lip liner,
the less likely it's gonna blend

with the makeup when we're
putting it over the top.

Okay.

Emily: So, I'm gonna
start you off with a dot,

just to dip your toe in.

All right, you ready?

Um, yeah.
Let's feel it.

[ Needle buzzing ]

[Bleep] This.

Oh, my god.

-Ohh! Okay.
-We okay here?

So, it feels like it hurts,
but it really --

it's like a tickle.
It's like a tickle hurt.

Okay. Do we need
to take a break?

-No, I think I got it.
-You got it?

We're ready
for the next step.

You can use
any concealer.

It's better to apply
more layers lightly

than to apply
one thick layer.

[ Needle buzzing ]
Oh, my god.

[Bleep]
That one really hurts.

Jesus. [Bleep]

Our final step
is hair spray.

Just a light coating --
that's the set

that creamy makeup to
not rub off on your clothes.

And your tattoo
is ready for the day.

This doesn't even
look like my arm.

♪♪

And we're done.

Ohh, my hip.

Has Elvis left the building?

Oh, my god.

-[ Laughs ]
-Elvis is gone.

Oh, that's so badass.

So, yeah, now you're
all covered up.

And I'm twice as inked.

Brad: Yeah, we went
different routes.

Hey, now you won't need to talk
Christ with your new clients.

[ Laughs ]

-Get rid of your man bun next.
-Yeah, yeah.

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