All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e16 Saved by the Hack.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately!

[ Screams ]

♪♪

Hard to believe the first day
of senior year is finally here.

So good to see
all my friends again.

[ Laughs ] Yeah.
Change of plans, shriek.

We're not gonna make it
to class today.

Hack's girlfriend broke up
with him again last night.

[ Audience groans ]

So we're playing hooky
to cheer him up.

Yeah! Rad!

Wait. How are we
supposed to skip school

without getting
into trouble?

The don't call me
hack Morris for nothing.

What are you doing?
Hey, put me down!

Time-out!

Don't worry.
We're not gonna hurt shriek.

We're just gonna
hold him upside down

then wait till all the blood
rushes to his head

so he sounds a little
extra congested.

Time in.

[ Nasally voice ] Yes.
Hello. Principal balding?

Yes, this is
shriek's father.

He won't be coming
into school today.

He's deathly ill.
Here, listen.

[ Congested ]
Ugh! I am so sick!

I'm completely
congested.

Oh, yes. No, I agree.
He sounds awful.

Thank you so much
for understanding. Bye.

Principle balding
totally bought it!

[ Normal voice ]
Party, here we come!

Kevin: Tonight...
Let's go!

...on "hack my life"...
Oh, ho!

Really thought
it was coming up empty.

...we're going off
the deep end.

We see if a pool hacked out
of hay bales holds water.

Is there chlorine in this?

No. No? No!

Brooke: Kevin begs for help
with a hairy situation.

You guys have anything that'll
get pet hair off of a suit?

Oh, my god!

Kevin:
And Brooke hits a new low

while testing an
old potato-peeling hack.

Brooke: Plus, we find out
which of these hacks

for unclogging a drain
sucks the least.

Have you ever had
a colonic?

It's just like that.

Kevin:
It's our biggest, baddest,

and wettest episode yet.

This is "hack my life."

Brooke:
Ohh. My god.

I'd do anything -- anything
for a pool right now.

-Unh-unh, no. No!
-Come on!

Brooke, the hack gods have
delivered their verdict.

Us and pools do not mix.

Good thing we never
learn our lesson,

'cause this is
hack or wack.

We get a lot of our hacks
from the Internet.

And apparently, a bunch
of people out there think

that you can hack a pool
out of hay bales.

We've tried worse, Brooke.
We did the pickup truck pool.

I'm cold!

We did the
dumpster hot tub.

This is the stupidest thing
we've ever done.

There was the ill-fated
personal garbage-bag pool.

Party of one.

This time, Brooke,
we're breaking that curse.

If we're doing this...
Mm-hmm.

...we gotta do it right.
Yes!

We gotta go big.
I'm talking an epic pool party!

Oh, hell yeah!
Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

Well, if you want to build
one of these bad boys,

you're gonna need
some bales of hay.

We are gonna
stack ours two-high,

and we're gonna do
three by four.

That should give us
plenty of room to play in.

And here's the secret.
[ Gasps ]

Leave a hole
in the middle.

That's where
the swimmin' happens!

That's the pool.

Next, you need
a really large tarp.

We're using one that's
30 feet by 30 feet.

And what you're gonna do
is start tucking it

around the bales of hay
like so.

And now it is time for
the old moment of truth.

We need to fill this thing
with water.

If you're doing it at home,
you could use a hose.

But that would take
a couple hours,

which is why we brought in
this water truck.

'Cause we're lazy,
impatient Hollywood types

and we just want it done!

2,500 gallons.
Let's go!

Oh.

Hey!

Whoa!

All right.
So far, so good!

But can this pool
withstand a rowdy party?

Only one way
to find out, Brooke.

Pool party!

Yeah!

Whoo!

[ Cheers ]

♪♪

All right, friends,
thank you for joining us

at our hay-bale
pool party.

Any questions for us

about this wonderfully
hacked hay-bale pool?

How much for all this?

There are 28 bales
on here.

We paid $11 per bale.

-You do some basic math...
-$308.

-$308.
-Split it with your friends.

I have a question.
Is there chlorine in this?

Brooke: No.
[ Laughter ]

So this is an adults-only,
no children kind of pool?

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a way
to handle the -- yeah.

I love how you think
just kids pee in a pool.

[ Laughter ]

Well, you guys,
I'm gonna go down the line,

and I just have to
ask everybody --

do you think this is a hack
or is it wack?

It's a hack.

All right.
That's one hack.

-That's one. That's one!
-Okay.

I'm gonna go --
this is a hack.

Whoo! Keeping the hack train
chuggin' along.

-All right. Cheryl?
-It's a hack. I'm no hater.

No hater! Not hating.
That's three hacks.

-That's three hacks.
-It's wack!

-What?
-Oh, that's a wack.

That's one
for the wack.

I'm just thinking
about the long-term

sustainability and
financial balance!

-Curt?
-Hack, all the way.

Extreme hack.

-Becks?
-Total hack.

-Yeah!
-Friends, it's official.

The hay-bale pool...

Is a hack!

[ Cheers ]

[ Ding! ]

Brooke:
Look what we've done.

-Were we ever that happy?
-No.

♪♪

[ Whip! ]

[ Shling! ]

♪♪

[ Twinkle! ]

♪♪

♪♪

Today, we are hacking
a rotisserie chicken

with a bundt pan!

Rotisserie chicken is amazing,

but doyou
spinner in your oven?

No. You've got a bundt pan
at home, though, right?

This will give you crispy,
even skin all the way around,

'cause it's gonna be standing up
all scared-like.

So all you need to get started

is a big, lovely bird
like this one,

plus some potatoes,
celery, chopped onions,

carrots, and garlic cloves.

Okay, now, our next step --
and this is really important

because this bundt pan
has a hole in the middle

that a bird
is gonna be sitting on --

we need to cover it with foil

so the juices don't go running
all over your oven.

All right, buddy.
I am so sorry.

But we have to stick it
where the sun don't shine.

Okay, now, I want you
to breathe in...

And exhale.

And...

Yeah, just relax into it.
There you go.

Okay. Check it out.

This chicken
likes it up the bundt.

So, we've got our oven
preheated to 425 degrees,

so we're just gonna slide
this bad boy right in there.

No cover. Nothing.

[ Sighs ]

Ohh! Would you look at this?

This is a beautifully cooked

whole rotisserie chicken
to yourself!

It's so good!

Who needs a date

when you've got a perfectly
cooked rotisserie chicken?

It doesn't bother me
that I'm alone.

[Laughter

Kevin:
Coming up, which of these hacks

for unplugging a drain
will make the biggest splash?

I just want our viewers
to know I'm available for contracting work.

Brooke: Plus, heavy petting
goes awry in lend me a hack.

You don't have anything
that can get pet hair off of a suit, do ya?

Will Kevin get rubbed
the right or wrong way?

Should I be worried?

Find out when the "hack"
comes crawling back.

♪♪

Skipping school
to throw a luau party?

That's the best idea
you've ever had, hack Morris.

Dude, this party will be so much
better when Shelly gets here.

She'll have such a rad time,
we'll get back together.

Hey, guys! My mom
whipped up a big batch

of her signature pineapple
and spicy Mayo salad.

Shriek, look out
for that limbo pole!

Ohh!

-[ Groans ]
-Nice going, shriek.

Now hack will never
get leI'd at this luau.

Okay. Time-out.

I gotta admit, guys,
this looks pretty bad.

But sometimes the only
way to clean up a mess is to make it worse.

♪♪

Processed cheese spread
has grease-cutting enzymes.

Put a little dab of this
on the Mayo,

and then you wash the jacket
on gentle cycle.

[ Buzzer sounds ]
Time in.

Whoa! How'd you get your
jacket cleaned so fast?!

Hey, they don't call me
hack Morris for nothing.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

You probably don't wanna
know what's clogging your sink's drain.

You just want it gone.

Oh, yeah. That's the
problem right there.

Pappy's been
man-scaping again.

Gross.

Well, luckily for you,
we've got three hacks

for clearing out
your pipes.

-Pipes of your sink, that is.
-Ahem.

This is hack mail.

So today, from the comfort
of our spacious new hack lab,

we'll be testing out
three of your hacks

for eliminating
clogs in pipes.

Whichever hack
clears the clog the best

and grosses us out the least
gets our highly coveted...

Both:
Hack seal of approval!

Our first hack comes to us

from Dennis in
Kansas City, missour-ah.

So I've gone ahead and drawn
a spiral pattern on this bottle,

and we'll just
cut along the line

to get a nice
plastic strip.

Then I'll just cut
little teeth

along each side here,
and there you go!

-Ho ho! Great!
-Look at that!

-Ooh! Ow!
-Careful, careful.

All right.
It's got teeth, folks.

Okay.

Can we even
make it down there?

Oh, I can feel it.

I'm feeling some
furry resistance.

[ Water splashes ]

Oh, okay.

That's dirty sink water
in my eye.

Dennis, you're close.

-Oh, wait, wait, wait.
-Right at the edge, buddy.

Hold on. Hold on.
I think I hooked something.

There's definitely more
resistance coming out.

-Ohh! Oh!
-Geez.

That's an entire
rat's tail!

Do we name it?

Nope. Let's release it
to the wild.

Hack number two comes from
Matt in des moines, Iowa.

So I'm gonna
get going here.

This is always --
okay, there we go. Ooh!

Yep, it gets
a little wobbly and weird.

I like that it's fighting you
like a marlin.

I don't know why --

you're completely in control of
this hanger. It is inanimate.

I just am trying
to straighten it out.

Oh, geez!
We've got pliers, too,

if you need to actually
use them to unkink.

Wrastle that snake!

I just want
our viewers to know

I'm available for
contracting work.

Here we go!
Now we've got a hook.

So, let's see
what we got.

Uh...

I don't know. It doesn't
feel like I snagged anything.

Did you feel the hair?

Uh...

-Okay.
-Oh, there we go.

-Oh!
-Oh, ho!

Ohh!

That's like when you keep a hot
dog over the campfire too long.

Really thought it was
coming up empty.

Our third and final hack comes
from Megan in Colorado Springs.

She says...

So we're just gonna jam the
nozzle right up to the drain?

Uh...yah.

Because of
the overflow here,

there's not gonna be
any suction.

It's just gonna
kind of cycle through.

So we're gonna have to
plug that up once we kick it.

All right?
[ Vacuum whirring ]

See? Nothing's happening.
Right, right, right.

But if you cover it...
Ooh!

Ohh! It's jumpin'!
We got a feisty one!

Kill it, Brooke!
Kill it!

Okay. You got something?
[ Whirring stops ]

Yeah, I mean, I think
we're good, actually.

Have you ever had
a colonic?

-No, I haven't.
-It's just like that.

-Really?
-Yeah.

So I'm the drain?

Anyways, did we get
the hair ball out?

I think we got
the hair ball out.

You wanna pop this
bad boy off and see?

Here we go.

-Eww! Gross!
-Eww!

-You got it!
-And the ghosts of hack past.

Ooh!

All three hacks
are completely viable,

but only one can get
the coveted seal, Brooke,

so what's it gonna be?

Well, since the bottle was
roughly a four-hour build

and I don't have
a wet-dry vac at home,

I'm going with
the hanger.

-As am I!
-Yeah, oh!

-Congratulations, hanger!
-Matt!

You just won
our coveted...

Both:
Hack seal of approval!

I just feel like I know you
so well at this point.

-Yeah. We've been through this.
-We have.

♪♪

[ Zip! ]

♪♪

[ Blblblblb! ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Engine revs, tires screech ]

[ Liquid bubbling ]

Knock, knock!
Who's there?

It's pop quiz. Let me in!

[ Pop! ]

So, you just finished
painting your door,

and you realized your tape job
wasn't so great.

No way! I guess these paint
fumes got me spaced out.

Brooke: Yes, definitely --
paint fumes and nothing more.

Well, don't bug out, big orange.

There's a hack that'll get

your hardware looking shiny
and new again in no time.

Let's play pop quiz.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Whoa! Has that sign
been here the whole time?!

Brooke:
Okay. Let's do this before you lose any more brain cells.

To get paint
off of those metal knobs,

should you "a," run them
through the dishwasher...

"B," wipe them down
with vinegar...

Or, "c," put them
in a slow cooker overnight

with laundry detergent?

Man! So many options!

I mean, the dishwasher
cleans my silverware,

and the knobs are basically
made out of the same stuff.

Brooke:
Sure...basically the same.

What the heck? I'm gonna go
with "c," the slow cooker!

[ Ding, ding, ding ]

"C" is actually
the correct answer.

Ha ha! Yeah!

How did you know that?

I don't know, man.

The fumes must've
expanded my horizons!

Wait. How does the cooker
actually work?

Brooke: All right.
First, fill the slow cooker

with water and
two tablespoons of detergent.

Then drop in
your paint-covered knobs

and let them cook
for six to eight hours.

Once that's done, rinse
the knobs with cold water,

and the paint
should peel right off.

Sweet!
Thanks, bubble lady.

My kitchen's never
looked more rad.

Uh, yeah.

Now, seriously,
go get some fresh air...

And maybe an eye exam.

Huh?

Brooke: Up next, Kevin
serves as a human Guinea pig

for pet-hair removal hacks.

-I'm about to get a little low.
-Okay. I asked for this.

Kevin: And later,
we take a second crack

at a failed hack
from season one.

Wanna get up
in that bucket?

Wanna make mama proud.

"Hack my life"
returns after this.

♪♪

What's up, good people?

Welcome back to my channel,
hax unboxed.

I am Terrell.

I combine the dopeness of life
with the magic of opening boxes.

It's a gift.

And today,
this is a towel-tong duster.

It's a very simple packaging.

You open it and just take out
what you saw in the window.

This is so simple to make.

It's just a pair of plastic
tongs, a nice yellow towel,

and some blue rubber bands
to hold it together.

Let's put this baby to the test.

Oh, gosh. Look at
how much dust I'm getting!

Look at that!

Guys, I love this.

I mean, these are just -- mwah.

[ Coughs ]

But anyway,
thanks, guys, for watching.

If you wanna see more,
like, comment, subscribe!

See ya next time, guys.

Ugh. Don't know why I put
my face that close to that.

That's pretty disgusting.

♪♪

[ Indistinct shouting ]

So, I'm on the way to my
brother's second quinceañera

when I spot a gorgeous husky.

I decide to stop, pet it.
5 minutes turns to 30.

The next thing ya know,
it looks like

I've been leg-wrestling
a damn yeti.

So, how am I gonna get all
this fur off my monkey suit?

Well, it's a good thing
we've placed hidden cameras

everywhere to see
if complete strangers

in Los Angeles can
lend me a hack!

How's it going?
You don't have anything

that can get pet hair off
of a suit, do you?

-Nothing on ya?
-No.

You guys have anything that'll
get pet hair off of a suit?

-Oh, my god!
-Yeah. I know. Yeah.

-No.
-I look like a crazy person.

No one is going to
stop and help me.

Hey, do you have anything
that could get pet hair off of a suit?

Um, I mean, I got --

I got dryer sheets,
I guess.

Let's try this.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me give it a whirl.

Can you try -- I know, like, my
back is probably pretty gnarly.

You're very generous.
You're very sweet. Five stars.

-I'm about to get a little low.
-Okay. Yep. I asked for this.

All right. I mean,
it's kind of working.

But it's not
really doing much.

It's the little hairs
that aren't coming off.

You need something way more
heavy-duty than that.

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Hi, there.

Yeah, I get it.

I'm a crazy person
covered in hair

who looks like
he's talking to himself.

Do you have anything
that can get pet hair off a suit, by any chance?

-No.
-Nothing? Okay, thanks.

Do you have anything that
can get hair off of a suit?

-Um...
-Like, pet hair?

-I'm coated in it.
-Is it dog?

Uh, that's a good question.
It's not my suit.

Do you have anything in
your purse or anything --

I have balloons.

You think the balloons might get
the pet fur off of the suit?

Like a static-electricity thing?
Is that what you're thinking?

-Yeah. Like in school.
-Let's try it.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Yeah, please --
get in there.

Uhh...

How many times have you rubbed
a stranger with balloons?

-It's the first time.
-This is your first time?

You're a professional.
I would've never thought.

-Can I grab one of these, too?
-Yeah, sure.

Do you mind?
Let me just...

-I think it's not working.
-No, you're right.

-Ohh!
-Oh, my god.

I owe you a balloon!
I'm so sorry!

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Have anything
in your car, ma'am?

No? Windows up. Got it.
Okay. All right.

Someone's coming.
Someone's coming.

We're gonna make this work.

Hey, how you doing, sir?

-Hey. How are you?
-I'm good. Thanks.

Well, I'd be better if I could
get this pet hair off of me.

Do you know of
any hacks or tricks

or things I can use
to get it off?

Let me see if I got
something in the car.

-Something in your car?
-Yeah.

Yeah, okay, great.
That'd be awesome.

Should I be worried?

"Let me go step to the car. I
got something in there for ya."

Ohh!

[ Trumpet plays ]

This is the only thing
I could find.

[ Laughs ] What?
A squeegee in L.A.?

It kind of works.

You've already gone
out of your way for me,

but do you mind
hitting the back?

This is amazing.
Good god. How many pets do you have?

[ Laughter ]
Look at that!

I feel like a miata
right now in the winter,

but this is
actually working!

[ Ding! ]

Apparently,
a squeegee saves the day.

Thank you, Los Angeles,
for lending me a hack.

Mwah!

Someone stole my gift.

Great.

♪♪

[ Zip! ]

[ Sloop! ]

♪♪

[ Cat meows ]

Kevin: For 15 years,
family life was nice and easy.

Now the apple of your eye

is out to destroy you
and your happy home.

[ Young woman screams ]

To protect yourself, you'll need
a hack line of defense

against your angsty teenager.

Some day,
your teen will be a smart,

conscientious contributor
to society.

But for now, all she wants
is to be left alone.

I mean, is that too much
to ask for, mom?!

Ugh!

Save your doors
and your eardrums

by sticking felt furniture pads
to the door frames.

They won't stop your teen
from slamming her door,

but at least
they'll dampen the sound.

Ugh!

Of course, the only time your
teen wants to leave her room

happens to be after curfew.
[ Floorboards creaking ]

Put a pin in her escape plan.

Stick two metal thumbtacks
into a clothespin,

then attach it
to a battery-powered buzzer

and wedge a popsicle between
the tacks to break the circuit.

Now place your hacked alarm
near an exit.

Just don't let your neighbors
see you do it.

If your teen bumps the stick...

[ Buzzer sounding ]
...She's in for a total buzzkill.

[ Groans ]

Grounding your angsty teen

won't guarantee
an end to her mischief.

That credit card is for
emergencies, young lady,

not stereo equipment!

To prevent your teen from
engaging in retail revenge,

swap out the family credit card
for a prepaid debit card.

That'll put a cap
on her spending

and keep you from hearing
that noise she calls music.

[ Heavy-metal music plays ]

But even with limited cash flow,

your teenager
would rather be online

than in the same room as you.

Well, here's a surefire way
to get her attention --

cut the Wi-Fi.
Ugh!

By changing the Wi-Fi password
every few days,

you'll force your angsty teen
to do the unthinkable --

actually interact with you.

[ Groans ] Mom!
The Wi-Fi isn't working!

Be sure to use this small bit
of real human interaction

to your advantage.

Ugh!

So cheers to you,
mom and dad!

You can now enjoy
that wine in peace,

because you've got
a hack line of defense.

Gross.

Kevin: We've got
one hack left, people.

Coming up, there's more
than one way to skin a potato.

Or is there?

Find out on the drilling
conclusion of "hack my life."

♪♪

[ Cheers ]

Hey, as much as I love
dancing with you guys,

I was under the impression
there'd be girls here.

Forget the girls!
We have bigger problems now!

All the ice has melted
in the punch!

It's all
watered down now!

Ugh!

I think it's time
to say "aloha" to this luau,

and I don't mean "hello."

Hold on. Time-out.

These dudes are right.

This party's as uncool
as this punch.

That's why earlier,
I poured some of it

into a bundt pan,
then froze it.

Hey, does hack really think
he can freeze time?

-Pretty much.
-Weird.

-More sad than weird.
-Hmm.

Hack:
Now I have a festive ice ring

that'll chill the punch
without watering it down.

Time in.

Mind if we try some?

[ Cheers and applause ]

Shelly! You came!

I'm sorry we're late.

Turns out, it's really hard
to hack a coconut into a bra.

Not as hard as it's been

living without you
for the past 12 hours.

[ Audience awws ]

Will you be
my girlfriend again?

Let's take it
one day at a time.

Who knows? Maybe we'll have a
whole new adventure next week.

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause ]

♪♪

Kevin:
It's take two for failed hacks.

This is re-hack.

Nothing --
and I mean nothing --

gets under our skin worse
than a good hack gone bad.

Yeah, that's why this
potato-peeling hacksperiment

from season one
still drives us mad.

According to the
worldwide interwebs,

you can actually take
a toilet brush,

attach it to a drill,

and this is a
potato-peeling powerhouse.

Get in there.

Really smells delicious.
But nothing is happening.

Why don't we see
if we can pinpoint

the exact moment where
this hack went wrong?

Let's.

And, yep, you can see it
right there.

This is a soft,
bristly nothing.

Oh, that's a dollar-store.

There's no way that's strong
enough to peel a potato.

And it does not get
that circular vortex.

It's way too clogged.

Nothing is going to
move around in there.

We were setting ourselves up
for failure.

I think
we officially know

what we need to do
to turn this hack right.

For this re-hack, we're bringing
out the big guns --

a stronger,
sandpaper drill bit.

We also have a drill
with more horsepower.

Beautiful.
[ Drill whirs ]

-Oh, no.
-I officially feel threatened.

-Yeah.
-Wanna get up in that bucket?

-Wanna make mama proud.
-All right.

Okay, here we go.

[ Drill whirring ]

Oh, and look at that
water action. Oh, my god!

Look at it swirling,
Brooke!

The important thing is,

we're addressing one of
america's biggest problems.

Let's maybe -- well, let's --
you wanna "ghost" it?

[ Romantic music plays ]

Yep.
We're making 'tatos.

Oh, wow.

[ Sobbing ] I feel like
it's my birthday!

Look how brown
it's getting, Brooke.

Ah!

I'm doing it! Brooke!

I'm doing it!

[ Shrieks ]

[ Laughter ]

I'm a little dirty.

[ Laughter ]

Well, so, let's see.

Oh, hey!

Whoa!
This looks great!

I would put these in a pot
and boil them and mash them.

I think this time, the hack
was a lot more...A-peel-ing.

Ohh. You have a latke more
potato puns this season.

Am I right?

I thought you'd be
russet-y, but...

Ohh!
...Back at it!

No, I've b--
I've been...Potatoes.

Mm-hmm.

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