Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:06,171
(norad voice over p.a.) Enabling
nuclear strike commands.
2
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,440
Dan, don't do it!
3
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,675
Do you mind?
4
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:12,511
I am trying to concentrate here.
5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,280
You're going to start
World War 3!
6
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:16,715
Well, duh!
7
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,351
(norad voice over p.a.)
Launch codes authenticated.
8
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:23,355
It's the only way to make sure
I get that stupid squirrel!
9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:27,126
...and his whole stupid
squirrel family...
10
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,861
(norad voice over p.a.)
Warheads armed.
11
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:32,531
Initiating launch sequence.
12
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,967
Dan, I don't ask much of you,
13
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:38,337
but could you please not
destroy the entire planet!?
14
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:43,542
I'm sorry, Chris. It's
too late for that now.
15
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,582
Elise?!
What are you doing h--ow!
16
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,384
Stopping you from
killing us all!
17
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,987
Let me go! It's the only way!
18
00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,092
That's not exactly how I
remember things, your honor.
19
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:03,429
The security tapes are
pretty clear on the matter.
20
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,297
So, what am we being
charged with?
21
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:08,767
Treason? Attempted Extinction
of the Human Race?
22
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,069
Trespassing.
23
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:13,272
The United States government
would like the world to remain
24
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:17,142
ignorant of how close it
was to total annihilation.
25
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,111
And how easily you
got hold of the
26
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:22,714
launch codes and
infiltrated NORAD.
27
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,217
(dan laughs)
It WAS pretty easy.
28
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,053
And since this entire incident
arose because you were
29
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,089
angry at a squirrel--
30
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:31,890
--a FAMILY of squirrels, your
honor.
31
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,426
And if you knew them,
you'd be on my side.
32
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,096
I'm giving you a choice.
33
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:39,164
Ten years in prison,
34
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,034
or four weeks of anger
management classes.
35
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:48,640
Why did I get sentenced to
anger management classes?
36
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:49,808
You were my accessory.
37
00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:52,878
Today, we're really going to
open up.
38
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,748
Express our feelings in a safe,
non-judgmental environment.
39
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,350
Remember, it's okay to cry.
40
00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:01,353
I choose prison.
41
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,754
Dan!
42
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,522
Ahhh!
43
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:15,601
"ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!"
44
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:28,514
We'd better get back inside.
45
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,783
Non-judgmental environments
are for losers, Chris.
46
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,219
Oh? And who's prison for?
47
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,988
Men with principles.
48
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,790
Don't you think four weeks of
this is better than 10 years of
49
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:41,793
hard labor, orange jumpsuits and
the everpresent risk of being
50
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,162
stabbed with a
sharpened toothbrush?
51
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:51,503
All right, let's get started
with the touchy-feely.
52
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:55,574
Quick, somebody validate my
personhood.
53
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:59,111
I know how you're feeling, Dan.
We've all been there too.
54
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,479
Oh, sure.
55
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:03,515
Cute girls with PhD's
have all the problems.
56
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,616
Everyone has anger. Right guys?
57
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:06,451
I'll say!
58
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,787
I beat up the Dalai Lama.
59
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,989
The trick is learning
to control your rage,
60
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,559
so it doesn't control you.
61
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:16,128
Sounds unsatisfying.
62
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:19,298
How about instead, we all
go in on a flamethrower?
63
00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:20,490
Who's with me?
64
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,030
Maybe it's a little early
to jump right into group.
65
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:26,438
Let's start with some basic
psychological testing.
66
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,875
They're going to put us in a
maze and make us find cheese.
67
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:33,679
If we don't do it in time,
they zap us with electricity.
68
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:34,246
What kind of cheese?
69
00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:44,256
Stupid multiple choice...
(whispering) Psst!
70
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:46,325
What?
71
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,826
(whispering)
What did you get for number 15?
72
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:57,669
I'm not going to help you cheat
on a psychological evaluation!
73
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,937
Fine!
74
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,105
(muttering) Jerk.
75
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,577
Words and images will
appear on the screen.
76
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,446
When you see something
that makes you angry,
77
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,082
click the button.
Like that. Got it?
78
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,334
Dan? Are you okay?
79
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,639
Rrraahhhrrr!
80
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,079
Well, you have some...
interesting results.
81
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,650
First off, you're the only
person I've ever seen fill out
82
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,218
one of our questionnaires
in blood.
83
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,987
Just to clarify, it
wasn't my blood.
84
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:52,691
Was it, "Mister-I-can't-stop-
clicking-my-pen"?
85
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:56,895
I'm still not speaking to you.
86
00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,032
Generally, we measure rage on a
scale of one to about fifty.
87
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,601
What's Dan? Forty-nine?
88
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,670
Ow! See?
89
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,139
Actually he's somewhere
around eighty.
90
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:10,742
Hogwash! You said the scale
only goes up to fifty.
91
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:15,480
That's for normal human emotion.
You're well outside of that.
92
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,717
The closest equivalent to your
anger level would be... oh,
93
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:21,820
let me see... An alligator.
With a toothache.
94
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:23,789
Okay, moving on...
95
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,224
...that is repeatedly
being poked with a sharp stick.
96
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,859
I get it, all right!?
97
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,195
Chris, on the other hand, is a
point five.
98
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:33,632
See? I have my anger
under control.
99
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:34,580
Kiss up.
100
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,200
Actually, it's not good to
have an underdeveloped
101
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,503
anger reflex, either.
102
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,360
Ha!
103
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,000
When anger is repressed, it can
erupt in spontaneous bursts.
104
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,344
Or manifest in other ways.
105
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:48,080
Other ways? Like, like what?
106
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:53,452
Like uncontrolled eating.
107
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:54,820
Huh.
108
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:58,857
So what, exactly, are you
supposed to do about it?
109
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,325
Not sure, really.
110
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,294
Get in touch with my anger
somehow and express
111
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:03,595
it in a healthy way.
112
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,764
And then you'll be a real boy?
113
00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:06,380
Maybe.
114
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,430
Well, don't go too far with the
anger thing.
115
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:09,601
I like you the way you are.
116
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:10,936
Aw...
117
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,905
It would be a shame to
have to put you down.
118
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,878
And let's give a special
welcome to Chris and Dan,
119
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,747
who are joining us
for the first time.
120
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,082
Hi, Chris. Hi Dan.
121
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,550
We love you.
122
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,519
Lady, you don't even know me.
123
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:30,455
Today we'll be talking
about "triggers."
124
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:33,558
What are some of the
things that set us off?
125
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,727
For example, mine is littering.
126
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,598
Francine?
127
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,333
I get really angry when--
128
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,335
Traffic! I hate traffic.
129
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,300
Burt...
130
00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:46,500
I hate when people
interrupt me--
131
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,239
Oh, me too.
132
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:51,009
--when I'm speaking! It's so--
133
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,043
Yeah, that's the worst.
134
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,079
I'm going to take a "time out"
now.
135
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,580
That's great, Francine.
136
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:04,222
Whoa, that's some language.
137
00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:05,300
Chris?
138
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:09,660
Is there anything that makes
you disproportionately angry?
139
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:16,568
I... don't like being hit in
the face. That makes me angry.
140
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,402
Is that okay?
141
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,171
It's a start.
142
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:20,338
Dan?
143
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,541
Look, I don't think
this is for me.
144
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,976
Why would I sit here talking
about what bothers me
145
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,446
when I could be out there
doing something about it?
146
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:30,449
Why don't you give it a try?
We're all here for you.
147
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,050
Please?
148
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:36,254
Fine. Stuff that
makes me angry...
149
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,957
Um, I don't have the whole list
here.
150
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:39,958
Most of my notebooks
151
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,128
are in a storage facility
in Sherman Oaks.
152
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,563
Okay, from the top.
153
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:48,600
Uh blood-sucking ticks... that
one's self explanatory...
154
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:50,250
Wisconsin...
155
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:52,620
Aarrgh!
156
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:56,670
There! That is a perfect
example! Car alarms!
157
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,976
"You know what I need?
158
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,945
A siren that goes
off every time
159
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:02,848
someone in the
neighborhood sneezes!"
160
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,349
Tell me about it.
161
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,684
So annoying!
162
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,619
I think we can all agree there.
163
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,088
But before we let our
emotions run away with us--
164
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,791
And when, in the history
of the human race,
165
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,728
has a car alarm ever actually
prevented a crime?!
166
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:17,610
Yeah!
167
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:20,290
All right, let's all
just take a moment to--
168
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,900
You know what I'd like to do?
169
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:27,472
I'd like to go out there
and rip that car apart
170
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:31,843
with my bare hands until
I find that stupid alarm
171
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:36,515
and stomp it into a
thousand little pieces!
172
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,251
Let's do it!
173
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,919
Wait, wait, everyone--!
174
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,488
HAVOC!
175
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:56,668
And... they're setting
the car on fire.
176
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:57,135
(whoomph) (cheering)
177
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,503
That's my car.
178
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,305
Whoops.
179
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,182
I don't understand why you're
mad at me.
180
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:15,020
You incited a riot in my anger
management class!
181
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,988
By accident!
182
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:21,092
And please, one burning
car does not a riot make.
183
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,727
It was MY car!
184
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,762
I know that!
185
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:26,331
You've said it like a
hundred times already!
186
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,465
You HAVE said it a lot, Amber.
187
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:31,403
Step outside of yourself.
188
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,105
Experience the moment
from a fresh perspective.
189
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,975
Look, I didn't mean to start an
angry mob.
190
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,010
It just sort of happened.
191
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,780
And we're very sorry your car
got destroyed.
192
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,782
Besides, I thought I
was supposed to share
193
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,216
how I was feeling.
194
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:48,453
You are. I guess I can't
fault you for that.
195
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,988
I do want you to be
honest and open.
196
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:51,890
Okay.
197
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:54,620
I think Anger Management is a
joke.
198
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,261
Also, you wear a
little too much makeup.
199
00:09:57,997 --> 00:09:58,863
Please don't send us to prison.
200
00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,403
Thank you both for volunteering.
201
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,871
Who volunteered?
202
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:10,075
I think it's important to keep
our schools clean, don't you?
203
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:10,742
I mean, the children--
204
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,045
...rotten, no-good...
205
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:18,416
Step outside yourself...
Step outside yourself...
206
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:23,488
She's about to snap. Believe
me, I know the signs.
207
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,123
Maybe we should go talk to her.
208
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,024
I'll handle it.
209
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,926
You keep picking up garbage.
210
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:31,062
Okay. Hey!
211
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:34,299
You-YOU pick it up.
212
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:34,933
Yeah, I said it.
213
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,235
(muttering angrily)
214
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,486
What'cha got there?
215
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:57,822
Herbal tea... Stress ball...
Breathing exercises...
216
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,925
Does that stuff actually work?
217
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:04,129
Uh-huh! No. Not really.
218
00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:08,466
In fact, I've been grinding my
teeth down to the nubs while
219
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,101
I sleep, because my body can't
220
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,703
process all the residual stress.
221
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:15,140
That littering thing really
gets to you, doesn't it?
222
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,976
Like there's a shortage of
trash cans in the world?!
223
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:22,847
He's gotta throw his
garbage........Sorry.
224
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,417
It just makes me so mad.
225
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:26,084
And I feel...
226
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,019
Helpless? Ineffectual?
227
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,056
Believe me, I understand.
228
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:34,859
Hey, like you said in the
group, we've all been there.
229
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,395
Yeah, thanks.
230
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,164
I've got to learn to
let this stuff go.
231
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:42,200
Sure, that's one way. Or...
232
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,968
Or what?
233
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,503
If it were me... I mean,
234
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,573
hypothetically, of course,
I would track the jerk down
235
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:52,711
and make him sorry he ever
THOUGHT of littering.
236
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,112
You interested?
237
00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:58,450
Even if you were serious,
there's no way to even find
238
00:11:58,452 --> 00:11:59,317
the person in question.
239
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,754
Except I got his
license plate number.
240
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:05,056
So what are you doing later?
241
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,127
Did you talk to her?
242
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,595
We're going out tonight.
243
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:12,664
So you saw that she was upset,
244
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,733
took advantage of her
emotionally fragile state,
245
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,068
and manipulated her into
going on a date with you?
246
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,304
Yeah. Basically.
247
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,472
Smooth.
248
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:24,309
(whistling)
249
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,881
I can't believe we
actually found him!
250
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,050
Let's destroy this jerk!
251
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,119
You're cute when you're
righteously indignant.
252
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:39,157
Hey look, he left his top down.
253
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:42,260
It's almost too easy.
254
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,128
Why? What are you...
255
00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:46,765
(evil giggle)
256
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:47,932
I like it.
257
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,073
So I'm halfway through my
anger management workbook.
258
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:58,309
It's called "We All Go a
Little Mad Sometimes."
259
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,111
That is great, Chris.
260
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,412
What's Dan's workbook called?
261
00:13:01,670 --> 00:13:02,230
"Holy Moley.
262
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,140
Calm Down Before
You Kill Someone?"
263
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,584
Speaking of which, Dan's
actually on a date with Amber,
264
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,519
our counselor.
265
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:09,254
Really? A date?
266
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,890
Dan's version of one, yeah.
267
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:12,724
What does that involve?
268
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,532
My car!
269
00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:24,910
Nooo.... This car is my baby!
270
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:27,590
(amber o.s.) Should have thought of that
before you littered, jerk!
271
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:28,206
(clank)
272
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,607
Aahh!
273
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,408
(amber o.s.) Ha!
274
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:30,975
(tires squeal)
275
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,314
That was great.
276
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,949
I bet I sleep like a baby
tonight.
277
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:41,085
Nice throw with the
trash can, by the way.
278
00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:42,554
I know, right?!
279
00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:43,021
Bam!
280
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:47,158
(They laugh)
281
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,593
Good times...
282
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:52,130
Hey, I'd like to see you again.
283
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,131
I'd love to.
284
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,302
Really?
285
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,404
Yeah! You know who we're
going after next?
286
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:02,874
Next?
287
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,843
There was this girl in high
school named Emily.
288
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,377
She intentionally
spilled ink on my shirt
289
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,712
the day they were taking
yearbook photos--
290
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,480
Whoa, now, hold up.
291
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,217
Are we just revenge buddies?
292
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:16,387
I kind of thought
this was a... date.
293
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,690
Did you? Ooh.
294
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:24,796
No, no, no, it's not. Sorry.
295
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,998
But you HAVE made me realize
how much fun it is to get
296
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,933
back at people.
297
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:32,170
Glad to help, but I have my own
list to attend to.
298
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,373
I mean, that squirrel is
still out there somewhere...
299
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,909
Last I checked, you needed a
certificate of completion
300
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,143
from me, or you get
locked up. Right?
301
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,046
So it's extortion.
302
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,716
Extortion is such an ugly word.
303
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:48,253
I prefer-- (pleasant)
"Extortion."
304
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,455
That's the same word.
305
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,390
I said it nicer the second time.
306
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:53,720
Just so there's no mistake;
307
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:57,120
you will do exactly what I say,
or I will send you to prison.
308
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,239
I've been played for a fool.
309
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,642
A fool, I say!
310
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:12,777
Huh? Dan...? What time is it?
311
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:13,945
How did you get in here?
312
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,480
I thought Amber liked me.
313
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:20,084
Turns out she was just using
me! I feel so cheap...
314
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,420
Yeah, that's rough.
315
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,757
Well, look at the time...
You should be going.
316
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,426
It's bad enough that she was
never interested in dating me.
317
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,195
But now she says if I don't
help her, I go to prison.
318
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:34,232
She wants me to get back at some
girl that spilled ink on her
319
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,934
like a decade ago!
320
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,136
How does she want you to do
that?
321
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,571
Apparently she's getting
married this Saturday...
322
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,677
Fun fact; I once inadvertently
burned this chapel down.
323
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:49,847
You said that about like three
buildings on the way over here.
324
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:53,885
Yeah, today's been a real
trip down memory lane.
325
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:58,222
The wedding's started.
326
00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,023
Paint bomb.
327
00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:04,262
Ready?
328
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:07,265
Hey, Emily!
329
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,066
(bang and a splat)
330
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:08,399
(screams)
331
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,771
Next up, my sister...
332
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,773
I'm thinking maybe a
week from Tuesday?
333
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:19,177
I graduate from your
program in three days.
334
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:20,230
Do you?
335
00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:22,210
Because I'm going to
recommend to the judge
336
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,649
that we extend your counseling.
337
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:28,519
You unbelievable--!
338
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,988
For how long?!
339
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:30,588
Who knows? Months.
340
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:34,192
Maybe years.
341
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,662
YEARS!?
342
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,733
Ow!
343
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:42,967
Stupid...
344
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,435
Hurt MY foot?!
345
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:48,606
Ow! Aaaahhhh!
346
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:49,607
(mr. mumbles meows)
347
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:50,008
Hmm.
348
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:01,352
It's okay, Mr. Mumbles.
You can come out now.
349
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:06,491
So it's ME I'm really
fighting...
350
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,596
...and then, in my lowest
moment,
351
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:15,466
it dawned on me: I don't
have to live my life this way.
352
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,001
That's right, Dan.
353
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,170
You could join the circus!
354
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,673
So now, if it's okay, I'd
like to lead the group in
355
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,510
some meditation exercises I
learned from my workbook?
356
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:28,713
Of course. Excellent
progress, Dan.
357
00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,818
Bah-Weep-Grah-Na-Weep-Ninny-Bom.
358
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,621
Bah-Weep-Grah-Na-Weep-Ninny-Bom.
359
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:43,294
So this isall an act, right?
You're plotting something?
360
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,063
No. Why?
361
00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:49,233
You want to catch
a movie this weekend?
362
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,002
I'm actually pretty busy.
363
00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:51,870
Apparently,
364
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,130
Amber's sister used to force
feed her creamed spinach.
365
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:59,477
So, I need to rig up a tripwire
and a kiddie pool of creamed
366
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,379
spinach... It's a lot of work.
367
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:02,340
It's not right,
368
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,340
Amber making you do all
her dirty work for her.
369
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,551
Yeah, but she's holding all the
cards.
370
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:09,654
How about we get something to
blackmail her with?
371
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:11,030
You know what's heen helping?
372
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,150
I've been doing the techniques
in my anger management workbook.
373
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,060
I'm "letting go."
374
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,462
Are you kidding me?!
375
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:20,731
You know Chris, sometimes it's
best to just go along with
376
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,200
an unpleasant situation.
377
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,936
Things have a way of
working themselves out.
378
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,672
You want to come up for an
herbal tea?
379
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:31,876
I have Soothing Blossom,
Gentle Raisin, and Mint Slap.
380
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,879
I don't know who
you are anymore.
381
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,156
Chris? Are you okay?
382
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,458
I'm fine. Go back to sleep.
383
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,026
Were you growling?
384
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,294
No.
385
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,063
Well, get some rest.
386
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:54,465
Your anger management
graduation's tomorrow.
387
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:01,430
Whoa.
388
00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:05,270
What happened here?!
Did you do this?
389
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,278
No! I swear.
390
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,546
(chris o.s.) I did it.
391
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:12,450
I spent all night covering the
school grounds in garbage.
392
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,886
Because...?
393
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:17,788
Because I finally got in
touch with my anger.
394
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,892
How do you like them
apples, Amber?
395
00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:26,531
You know, I don't even
want the rest of this.
396
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,231
Hmm.
397
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:28,132
Okay, she's about to--
398
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:31,369
Rrrahhhrr!
399
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:31,990
(door slams)
400
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,700
That wasn't so bad. I was
expecting her to do something--
401
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,742
(amber screams)
402
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,478
--more like that.
403
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,381
Uh-oh. Ah!
404
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:47,718
Hi, your honor!
405
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,620
Nice of you to come
to the graduation.
406
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:50,855
Of course!
407
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,191
I always like to check
in on my...
408
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,091
Hi, honey!
409
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,193
Uh... help?!
410
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,495
I WILL MURDER YOU!
411
00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:59,350
(huffing and puffing)
Amber! Wait!
412
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,460
Let's make some herbal
tea and talk about this!
413
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:04,902
Oh, hey Elise...
414
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:05,803
Your Honor...
415
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,104
Don't worry, I got this.
416
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:13,010
Guys?
417
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,779
I need you.
418
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,113
I'm sorry, okay?
419
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,416
I'm sorry I got in
touch with my anger!
420
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,551
It won't happen again!
421
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,687
Amber, stop!
422
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:25,323
Don't you see what you're doing?
423
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,058
You're binging on bile.
424
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,426
You need to step back.
425
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:34,398
You don't understand! He--
426
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,866
We understand.
427
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,668
We're here for you.
428
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:41,405
Don't let the anger win.
429
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:49,580
Good job diffusing
that situation, Dan.
430
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:53,417
It seems you've learned
something in anger management.
431
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,219
You two are free to go.
432
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,240
Thank you, sir.
433
00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:58,320
As soon as you
clean up all of this garbage.
434
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,858
Of course.
435
00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:04,662
I'm very proud of you, Chris.
436
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,198
Way to get in touch with your
anger!
437
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,599
Yeah, I'm not doing that again.
438
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,836
It really is dangerous when rage
gets out of hand.
439
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,604
Am I imagining things?
440
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,173
Nope, I heard him say that, too.
441
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:17,908
Seriously, though.
442
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:21,078
Maybe if I channel my energy
into something more positive,
443
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:25,182
get involved in some kind of
hobby or something that...
444
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,450
(chitters)
445
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:27,852
Dan?
446
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,789
YOU!
447
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,591
Rrrahhhrr!
448
00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:35,192
Well...
449
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,294
Yeah.
450
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:39,430
You're gonna die, squirrel!
451
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:44,030
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31762
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
