All language subtitles for Dan Vs s01e22 The Lemonade Stand Gang.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,420 Hey, you kids! 2 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:24,650 Either show me your vendor permits or get out of my spot! 3 00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:30,930 So, what seems to be the problem here, mister? 4 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,560 Yeah, mister. What's the problem? 5 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,630 - Quiet, Moose. - Sorry, boss. 6 00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:38,830 Hey, kids. I don't mean to run you out of business, 7 00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,900 but you're kind of in my spot. 8 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:43,410 So, I need to run you out of business. 9 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,670 Or at least have you move. 10 00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:48,910 - We were here first. - Yeah, first. 11 00:00:48,950 --> 00:00:51,850 - Moose. - Right, sorry. 12 00:00:51,890 --> 00:00:54,510 Well, technically, I was here first. 13 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:57,350 I live here. This is where I park. 14 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,760 Not anymore. 15 00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:00,820 I-- uh... 16 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,030 I have no answer for that. 17 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,610 Children, can't live with them, can't hunt them for sport. 18 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,630 Hey, mister. Lemonade? 19 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,200 I don't want any. I just want to go home. 20 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:23,150 Out of the way, irksome urchins. 21 00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:24,950 I wasn't asking. 22 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:27,780 You're going to buy a cup of lemonade before you can pass. 23 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,760 Don't you threaten me, kid. I-- ahh! 24 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:33,280 - Hey! - That'll be $1.25. 25 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:35,820 $1.25?! 26 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:38,300 - That's outrageous! - Pay up! 27 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,630 Or Large Harold here will give you the deepest, 28 00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:43,430 longest-lasting charley horse you've ever had. 29 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,200 I call it a Charles horse. 30 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,870 First of all, I don't carry cash. 31 00:01:47,910 --> 00:01:49,600 Second of all-- ahh! 32 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:53,680 You'll pay for this, you hooligans. 33 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,040 Did you just call us hooligans? 34 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,120 Get off me! 35 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,420 You ankle-biting meatballs! 36 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,860 - Hello? - I'm bruised and sticky! 37 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,800 - Dan? - Who else? 38 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,430 Get over here, I have a major problem with minors. 39 00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,570 "lf you know what's good for you, 40 00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:28,100 don't mess with The Lemonade Stand Gang. 41 00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:32,050 Signed, The Lemonade Stand Gang." 42 00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:34,210 Those little beasts! 43 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:42,660 LEMONADE STAND GANG!!! 44 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,660 Hello? Dan? 45 00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,110 Is everything okay? 46 00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:58,710 Who is it? 47 00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:01,470 It's Chris. Who is this? 48 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,450 Did they see you come up here? 49 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,540 Well, I bought this lemonade from them. 50 00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:09,580 And they are right down-stairs. 51 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:11,560 So, probably. 52 00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:14,020 - Don't drink that poison! - Hey! 53 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:17,550 Hey, nothing. Why are you supporting those rapscallions? 54 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,960 Well, they were pretty aggressive, 55 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,590 but I was quite thirsty anyways, so, you know, I bought some. 56 00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:24,000 Aggressive? 57 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,560 They're a violent gang of unrepentant thugs. 58 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,630 They're practically corn children. Look what they did to my window. 59 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,200 I'm pretty sure that was already broken. 60 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,580 Look at what they did to me! 61 00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:41,980 My poor tender skin is all bruised up. 62 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:43,580 So, what do you want me to do? 63 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:48,120 I want you to go down there and crush them! 64 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,990 Crush them with your big, strong hands. 65 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,990 Yeah, okay. I'm not going to assault a group of children. 66 00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:56,690 They're not children. 67 00:03:56,730 --> 00:03:59,900 They're a wee, organized crime... 68 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,870 organization. 69 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,810 All right, well, you know, that's great and all, 70 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,670 but I have dinner plans with the wife, 71 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:09,110 so, you know... bye. 72 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,670 Where are you going? 73 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,650 Get back here, coward! 74 00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:17,050 Hey, mister. 75 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,950 - Lemonade? - No, thanks, buddy. 76 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:21,390 - I just bought one, remember? - I do not. 77 00:04:21,430 --> 00:04:23,290 Do you remember this guy buying anything? 78 00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:26,020 I don't remember nothin', boss. 79 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:27,830 Watch your double negatives, Moose. 80 00:04:27,870 --> 00:04:29,660 Sorry, boss. 81 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,830 Okay, kids. This has been fun, but I have to go. 82 00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:36,700 Come on, kids. I-- ahh! 83 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:41,470 Hey! Look, you can't just bully people like this, you little hooligan. 84 00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:43,910 What did you call us? Dolores! 85 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,490 Look, why can't you just leave me alone? 86 00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:00,630 Hey, honey. What took you so long 87 00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:03,290 to get ho-- oh, my gosh! Chris! 88 00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:05,960 - What happened to your shins? - I was attacked. 89 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,970 - Mugged? - Uh, sort of. 90 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:12,570 There are these kids outside Dan's place who set up a lemonade stand. 91 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,700 What's funny? 92 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,610 I'm sorry, it's just-- no, never mind. 93 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,580 - Sorry, go on. - Why are you laughing? 94 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,610 - I can barely walk. - Nothing is funny. 95 00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:24,810 Come on. Tell me what happened. 96 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:27,260 Well, Dan said they attacked him. 97 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:30,690 And I didn't believe him at first. 98 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,200 - Because it's ridiculous? - Exactly. 99 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:35,100 And then when I left his place, 100 00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:37,070 they tried to force me to buy another lemonade. 101 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,900 I said, no, thanks. And they surrounded me 102 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,460 and went to town on my shins! 103 00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:45,700 - Fine. Just make fun. - Oh, no. 104 00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:49,800 Sweetheart, I'm sorry, but you got beat up by kids? 105 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,940 Not beat up, just kicked a lot! 106 00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:55,710 Besides, it's not like I'm going to fight a bunch of children. 107 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:59,090 Oh, listen. Why don't I get you an ice pack? 108 00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:06,550 It's not funny! 109 00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:13,670 Come on, war board. You're supposed to inspire. 110 00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,400 Hi, this is Chris. 111 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,470 Voice mail?! lnconceivable! 112 00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:20,840 And I'm not in right now. Please leave a message. 113 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,470 Chris, where are you? 114 00:06:22,510 --> 00:06:25,000 You were supposed to be here six minutes ago. 115 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:29,080 I'm giving you five more minutes and then we're through! 116 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,880 Through forever! 117 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,150 Do you hear me?! Through! 118 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:36,060 Some people are just so inconsiderate. 119 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,060 I don't want any lemonade! Just leave me alone! 120 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,690 Then give us your shoes! 121 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,730 Officer! You've got to help me. 122 00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:48,100 Those kids are chasing me. 123 00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:51,800 They're extorting the neighborhood and they physically assaulted me. 124 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,440 - Is this true, kids? - No, sir. 125 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,210 We run a lemonade stand and he forgot to pay. 126 00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:02,050 We're trying to raise money to get surgery for Dolores. 127 00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,990 I'm not well, sir. 128 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,780 Well, that's just awful. 129 00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:09,450 And you were trying to steal lemonade from these sweet little angels? 130 00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:11,480 I ought to arrest you right now. 131 00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,790 No, you don't understand! 132 00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:16,890 Move along, sir, before I move you along. 133 00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:19,270 Get me? 134 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,440 Talking to the cops? Not smart. 135 00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:25,640 No one likes a tattletale. 136 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,170 Oh, well, that's, uh-- hey, look! 137 00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,870 Ice cream man! 138 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,410 See you real soon, mister. 139 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,820 Hey! There's no ice cream man! 140 00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:40,020 35... 34... 33... 141 00:07:41,690 --> 00:07:43,660 - Password? - Just let me in. 142 00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:46,250 Is that a kid doing a Chris impression? 143 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,060 Dan, it's me. They're right behind me. Please, open up. 144 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,500 All right, if you're the real Chris, 145 00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:54,630 do you prefer crispy bacon or chewy bacon? 146 00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:56,660 Who cares? I just love bacon! 147 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:05,170 - What took you so long? - I was attacked again! 148 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:07,880 - By those kids, right? - Who else would be attacking me? 149 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,220 I don't know. You're pretty ill-tempered and quick to anger. 150 00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:13,490 I just assumed you have lots and lots of enemies. 151 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,490 Don't give me a hard time. 152 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:17,720 I got enough of that from Elise last night at dinner. 153 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,390 Well, it's like I always say, Elise is a jerk. 154 00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:24,400 She's not a jerk. And you're missing the point. 155 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,670 I'm trying to tell you, you were right about those kids, okay? 156 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:29,800 Yeah, they're jerks. 157 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,970 Don't worry though, I'm working on a plan. 158 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:35,070 - Hey! You're involved! - What kind of plan? 159 00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:36,740 - Fear. - Fear? 160 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:39,770 Fear when wielded by the proper hand 161 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,940 can be a powerful weapon. 162 00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:45,150 Now, what is the one thing 163 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:47,210 all children fear? 164 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,020 Crazy Aunt Mildred chained up in the basement. 165 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,190 Uh, I said all children. 166 00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:54,360 Oh, clowns. 167 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,920 Close. Monsters. 168 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,530 Put this on. 169 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,870 No. Not again. 170 00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:02,930 I got most of the ammonia out. 171 00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:05,570 - That still doesn't-- - You said you were hot. 172 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:09,340 Look, we can go back and forth about who dumped what on whom 173 00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:11,310 because the labels were misread in haste, 174 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:14,940 or we could get back at some pint-sized hooligans. 175 00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:16,350 Your choice. 176 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,010 This costume is hot. I'm sweating buckets. 177 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,170 Quit complaining. 178 00:09:31,210 --> 00:09:33,900 I still can't believe I have to be the one in the costume. 179 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,100 Bigger monsters are scarier. 180 00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:38,670 Now, climb up there and tell him 181 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,980 if he doesn't shut down the lemonade stand, 182 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:43,750 you'll drag him off to Monsterland. 183 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,610 Do me proud, monster Chris. 184 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,090 What is it, like 100?? in here? 185 00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,530 Timmy? 186 00:09:58,570 --> 00:10:00,590 Just have a little more homework to do, Mom. 187 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,600 Homework? It's summertime. 188 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,510 Yeah, but if I don't finish my summer reading list, 189 00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:07,130 I won't be ready for September. 190 00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:08,910 That's my little prince. 191 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:12,510 Well, don't work too hard. Even overachievers need their sleep. 192 00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:23,350 Hi, Mrs. Fitzpatrick. Is Dolores there? 193 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,950 Thank you. 194 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,620 Dolores. Timmy. 195 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,030 I want to talk to you about the lemonade stand receipts. 196 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:31,620 They're short. 197 00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:34,570 Don't give me that "business is slow" nonsense. 198 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,970 You go out there and you make it happen. 199 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:39,630 Otherwise, I'll think you're skimming. 200 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,380 You said you would be a good earner, Large Harold. 201 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:53,580 I don't want any more excuses, I want numbers! 202 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,650 - Timmy? - Got to go. 203 00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:58,560 Come on, Tiger. Those teeth won't brush themselves. 204 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,830 What is taking so long? 205 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:07,320 He's still not in bed and I need water. 206 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:10,360 We are not deviating from the plan. 207 00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:13,170 I'm so dehydrated, I'm about to pass out. 208 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,340 Just stick to the plan. 209 00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:19,110 Dan. Dan. 210 00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:22,170 I can't take another minute in this costume. 211 00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:25,710 I got you "The New Adventures of Population Control Johnny." 212 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,480 Thanks, Mom. 213 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,950 Don't stay up too late. 214 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,160 Finally. 215 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,970 So thirsty. 216 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,680 Timmy? 217 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,650 Timmy, I told you to go to-- 218 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,220 Mom? 219 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:05,280 It's a misunderstanding! 220 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,020 Never send a Chris to do a Dan's job. 221 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,330 lncompetent. 222 00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:12,730 Stop! 223 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,740 It's me. Get everyone together, now. 224 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:23,010 You should be ashamed of yourself. 225 00:12:23,050 --> 00:12:24,810 Don't worry, I am. 226 00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:26,820 For many, many reasons. 227 00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:29,150 It was a simple plan! 228 00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:32,850 You turned it into some weird monster streaker thing. 229 00:12:32,890 --> 00:12:34,880 The costume was sweltering. 230 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,620 And you wouldn't let me out of there. 231 00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,560 So, you didn't accomplish the mission, 232 00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:42,620 but you did terrorize an innocent lady in her own home. 233 00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:44,530 I'm ashamed to call you my minion. 234 00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:46,630 I'm not your minion. 235 00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:49,640 Hello? 236 00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:51,400 Hey, it's getting late. Where are you? 237 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,600 - Uh, nowhere. - What does that mean? 238 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,270 Your husband's a monster streaker! 239 00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:59,280 - Dan, would you please be quiet? - What's a monster streaker? 240 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,250 It's nothing. Dan, just, uh... 241 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,180 I did see something on the news about a guy 242 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,480 terrorizing the neighborhood in a monster mask. 243 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,110 That wasn't me. 244 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,420 Chris, what's going on? 245 00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:13,920 It's, well, it's those kids I told you about. 246 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,830 The fifth graders? 247 00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:17,490 They're almost sixth graders. 248 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,260 Goodnight, Chris. Put some pants on. 249 00:13:22,810 --> 00:13:24,640 I know, buddy. 250 00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:28,600 But, yeah. Let's stop so you can put your pants on. 251 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:37,780 Come on. We need to plan our next move. 252 00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:41,150 I'm thinking maybe my next move is to pretend that this never happened. 253 00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:44,320 Summer is over soon, the kids will go back to school and-- 254 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,760 hey, why is your street deserted? 255 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,960 This doesn't look good. 256 00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:54,360 Ow! My foot! 257 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,960 Let's get inside, quickly! 258 00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:09,080 Chris, get up! We've got to get out of here! 259 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,610 Can't move. Save yourself. 260 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:14,650 No, no man left behind-- 261 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,480 This is the way I always thought I'd go. 262 00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:20,590 - Really? - Well, I mean... 263 00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:24,120 they're not zombie kids, but basically. 264 00:14:24,170 --> 00:14:25,860 Wallets. Now. 265 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,170 What? You're mugging us? 266 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,400 I blame cartoons. 267 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,540 You come after us, we come after you. 268 00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,740 You got me? Wallets! 269 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:42,010 Next time you mess with us, you'll lose more than your money. 270 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,640 All right, move out. 271 00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:45,910 This is why 272 00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:47,420 I'm never having children. 273 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,060 They will regret this. 274 00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:59,840 I don't see how. They're meaner than us, 275 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,900 they have no sense of ethics holding them back, 276 00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:03,780 and they out-match us in guerrilla warfare. 277 00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:04,940 So what? 278 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,750 You're just going to give up and go home? 279 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,240 I didn't say that. I can't face Elise like this. 280 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:13,690 She's already lost respect for me because I wouldn't beat up children. 281 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,420 She can be so cruel. 282 00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:18,930 - So, how do we win? - Easy, buddy. 283 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,930 We sink to their level. 284 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,090 I don't even know how we do that. 285 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:27,200 Wait here until I get my hatchet. 286 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,580 Destroy it. Go nuts. 287 00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:41,280 - But it's a kid's bike. - Exactly. 288 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,250 He's going to have to pick on someone closer to home. 289 00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:46,590 I mean, he's not going to walk to our neighborhood. 290 00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:48,150 I don't know. 291 00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:52,060 Well, think of his sad little face when he wakes up tomorrow morning 292 00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,530 and sees what we've done. 293 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,290 That's just mean. 294 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,990 Chris, channel your anger. 295 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,130 Remember how your shins felt yesterday? 296 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:02,660 - Yeah. - And how did it feel to get run over? 297 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,970 - Not good. - And the humiliation 298 00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:06,940 of being mugged by an 11-year-old? 299 00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,810 That made me mad! 300 00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:12,440 Then show it! Let go, Chris! 301 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,210 I suggest on that bike. 302 00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:20,820 Yes. 303 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:24,290 Yes, my evil apprentice. 304 00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:29,360 What have I become? 305 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,370 You have become an avatar of Nemesis, 306 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,500 the Greek goddess of retribution. 307 00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:38,340 Welcome to the fraternity, brother. 308 00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,670 I won't do this anymore. 309 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:44,110 - I'm not a monster. - Fine! 310 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,740 Drive me around, I'll do the rest. 311 00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:48,180 Wienie. 312 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:05,300 Only Ninja Dave's makes lactose-free chocolate chip cookies. 313 00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:07,960 - Uh-huh. - What's wrong, buddy? 314 00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:10,170 - We won. - We didn't win. 315 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:11,540 Not in the moral sense. 316 00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:15,380 But we won in the practical sense, which is the only sense that matters. 317 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,240 Yeah, but they're just kids. 318 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,410 Even if they are hooligans, I don't feel good about wrecking their bikes. 319 00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:22,540 Eh, we taught them a lesson. 320 00:17:22,590 --> 00:17:25,150 - It takes a village, Chris. - I don't know. 321 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,280 How would you like it if someone destroyed your property? 322 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,730 I guess you can answer that question for both of us. 323 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:35,930 Hello? 324 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:38,130 They did what?! 325 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,600 Seriously? 326 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,230 The lemonade stand kids did this? 327 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,300 I told you they were bad kids. 328 00:17:44,340 --> 00:17:46,370 They will all disappear. 329 00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:48,670 No one will ever know what became of them, 330 00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:51,480 except maybe in a weapons factory in North Korea 331 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,250 where their tiny hands will be put to work assembling-- 332 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,650 - Wait, what? - They destroyed our car. 333 00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:59,710 Don't you see? I took the low road with Dan 334 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,280 and look where it got us. 335 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,120 Maybe you just didn't take it low enough. 336 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,530 That's what I've been saying. 337 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,190 Here's what I've learned from tonight. 338 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:09,690 When you take the low road, you force the other guy to go lower. 339 00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:12,000 And that makes you go lower and so on. 340 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,130 That's pretty much how it works. 341 00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,640 Whoever goes lowest first wins. 342 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:19,970 No, we're better than this. No more destruction. 343 00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:22,480 - What?! - I'm not better than this. 344 00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:23,840 No destruction! 345 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,180 Fine. Let's give the baby his bottle. 346 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:29,620 This is why the other boys pick on him. 347 00:18:37,830 --> 00:18:38,450 Go. 348 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,260 Go, my minion. 349 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,990 I'm not your minion. 350 00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:46,400 Well, well, well. If it isn't the guy with no car. 351 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,030 I'm here to make peace. 352 00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:50,660 We're not interested. 353 00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:53,010 Yeah, so scram! 354 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,440 - Moose! - What? 355 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,610 How come I don't get to express my opinions? 356 00:18:57,650 --> 00:19:00,620 It undermines the dramatic effect of my statements. 357 00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:02,280 - Oh. - Look, 358 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,650 I tried it Dan's way for a little bit 359 00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:06,750 and I didn't like myself very much. 360 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:09,160 Huh, we don't like you much either. 361 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:12,320 We've all done things we regret, haven't we? 362 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,760 - Nope. - Uh-uh. 363 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,960 Uh, I ate a frog once. 364 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,730 So let's stop treating each other like enemies 365 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,760 and be friends. 366 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,280 - Ow! - See, mister, it's like this. 367 00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:30,610 Life is a zero-sum game. 368 00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:33,670 If you want something, you have to take it from someone else. 369 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,240 That's not true. You can-- 370 00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,910 Ow! Not my shins again. 371 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,950 Guys, the shins. 372 00:19:40,990 --> 00:19:43,820 Ow! Stop it! Ow! 373 00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,560 Now I've got you! 374 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,030 Get him! I want that tape! 375 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,060 Much better. 376 00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:02,910 There it is. 377 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:06,780 And I'd just like to thank the wonderful efforts of-- 378 00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,410 May I have the floor for a moment? 379 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:11,790 I'm a local resident who has been terrorized 380 00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:13,850 by a group of juvenile delinquents. 381 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,320 Here's footage of The Lemonade Stand Gang 382 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,590 throwing lemonade on an elderly lady. 383 00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:26,870 And here's them kicking a citizen unmercifully in the shins. 384 00:20:26,870 --> 00:20:28,240 And here's them kicking a citizen unmercifully in the shins. 385 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,400 Is that my Timmy? 386 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,240 And if you look outside right now, you can see them destroying a car. 387 00:20:37,910 --> 00:20:40,250 Timmy! Stop that at once! 388 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,080 Mom? Uh, I can explain. 389 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,990 Is this what you've been doing? 390 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:47,180 Vandalism? Extortion? 391 00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:50,520 I wondered how your lemonade stand was making $1,000 a week. 392 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,590 - Mom. - Well, no more! 393 00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:55,060 All that money is going to charity. 394 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,590 No! 395 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,530 - We were set up! - It was all Timmy's idea! 396 00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:00,230 I regret nothing! 397 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,340 I have to say, Chris, you were right. 398 00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,440 We didn't need to sink to their level. 399 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,070 We just needed to get smarter. 400 00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:11,940 I'm sorry that your car got wrecked. 401 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,310 A master chess player knows 402 00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:17,120 which piece to sacrifice and when. 403 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:20,610 I heard that Timmy and his goons got sent off to military school. 404 00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:24,150 Wait, won't they just come back even more dangerous? 405 00:21:24,190 --> 00:21:26,660 Well, I suggested reform school, but the parents wouldn't go for it. 406 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,490 Stupid parents. 407 00:21:28,530 --> 00:21:30,360 They're what's wrong with America. 408 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,200 Actually, when I was hiding in the kid's closet, 409 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,800 I got the sense that his mom was involved in his life 410 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,000 and really encouraging him to succeed. 411 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,240 That's the problem! My parents had the right idea, 412 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,510 they let TV raise me. 413 00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,640 And I turned out super-duper. 414 00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:49,450 Let it go. 415 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:54,050 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30528

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.