All language subtitles for Dan Vs s01e19 The Family Camping Trip.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:22,020 Help! Aah! He-- 2 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:23,620 wait. Dan? 3 00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:26,390 You're probably wondering why I'm wearing face paint 4 00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:28,830 an attacking you with a plastic toy hatchet. 5 00:00:28,870 --> 00:00:31,060 Oh, is it Put on Face Paint 6 00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,230 and Attack Your Best Friend with a Hatchet Day already? 7 00:00:33,270 --> 00:00:35,170 That's not till January. 8 00:00:35,210 --> 00:00:37,070 It's Dismemberfest! 9 00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:40,170 Ah, the horrorfilm festival. 10 00:00:40,210 --> 00:00:41,270 You got it. 11 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:43,870 "Slasher Cats" starts at noon tomorrow, 12 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,650 followed by "Eek! The Murderer." 13 00:00:45,690 --> 00:00:47,810 I can't go this year, Dan. 14 00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:50,320 Elise's parents are taking us on a camping trip. 15 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,150 You have got to be kidding me. 16 00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:54,130 Hey, I'm not happy about it either. 17 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,960 Although I must admit I don't like those movies anyway. 18 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,760 But it's no fun going to slasher movies by myself. 19 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,330 Sorry, but I have an opportunity 20 00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:05,700 to finally get Don and Elise Sr. to like me. 21 00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:08,900 When are you going to learn they are your in-laws-- 22 00:01:08,940 --> 00:01:12,710 natural enemies, like sharks and robots? 23 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:15,310 Anyway, we're going up to Lake Sequester 24 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:17,150 - for the weekend, and-- - Whoa, whoa. 25 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:19,340 - Where? - Lake Sequester. 26 00:01:19,390 --> 00:01:21,350 Oh, you won't go to slasher movies, 27 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:22,820 but you'll go there? 28 00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:24,320 Sure. Why not? 29 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,820 Are you kidding me? 30 00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:29,390 It's where the Hockey Mask Maniac ran amuck 10 years ago. 31 00:01:32,730 --> 00:01:35,960 It's the basis for the goriest, bloodiest, 32 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,700 most iconic slasher movie of them all, 33 00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:43,570 "The Campground Chain Saw Unpleasantness." 34 00:01:43,610 --> 00:01:45,410 Okay, you should go now. 35 00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:47,240 Well, I'm not leaving until you agree to-- 36 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,370 hey, let me go! 37 00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:51,610 Unhand me, I say! 38 00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:53,920 I'm going on the family camping trip, Dan, 39 00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:55,550 and that's final. 40 00:01:58,020 --> 00:02:02,590 FAMILY CAMPING TRIP!!! 41 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,190 What do you mean you can't mail-order killer bees? 42 00:02:17,230 --> 00:02:18,690 I need killer bees! 43 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:20,250 You send me-- 44 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:21,760 Oh, hold on. 45 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,490 - Hey, Dan. - Ah, Chris. 46 00:02:23,530 --> 00:02:25,400 Good. Have you come to your senses? 47 00:02:25,430 --> 00:02:28,030 I'm still going camping, if that's what you mean. 48 00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:29,540 Hey, that reminds me. 49 00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:32,040 What food allergies do Elise's parents have? 50 00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:34,340 You're not going to ruin the camping trip, Dan. 51 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:37,000 - Says you. - Also, I would like you 52 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:38,410 to stop sending me creepy emails 53 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,940 about the Hockey Mask Maniac. 54 00:02:39,980 --> 00:02:42,950 They're not creepy! They're factual news articles! 55 00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:45,950 And what about the clips you keep sending me from scary movies? 56 00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:47,720 Based on true stories. 57 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,990 You know I don't do well with this stuff. 58 00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:51,790 I saw "The Campground Chain Saw Unpleasantness" 59 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:54,190 as a kid, and it scared the heck out of me, 60 00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:56,420 completely ruined the entire genre. 61 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:59,800 You know, Chris, if you don't push through, 62 00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:02,060 you're never gonna get desensitized. 63 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,210 Where was l? Oh, yeah! Right! 64 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,440 Killer bees! 65 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,210 My folks are here. 66 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,770 They are? They're three hours early. 67 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,880 Welcome to my world. 68 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,390 Wow. Look at that. 69 00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:20,720 When's the last time someone watered this grass? 70 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,690 Mom, Dad, you're early. 71 00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:25,590 Ah, we made good time from Vegas. 72 00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,600 Fun drive. I never saw so much desert. 73 00:03:28,630 --> 00:03:30,860 Until we took a look at your lawn, junior. 74 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,560 - Mom. - Hey, Mom. 75 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,070 Welcome back. 76 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,570 Wait. Wait, we're hugging now? 77 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,900 I-I guess not. 78 00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:40,030 No, that's fine. Give me a hug. 79 00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,010 I-I don't want to anymore. 80 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,710 Chris, give my mom a hug. 81 00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:53,150 No hug for me, thanks. 82 00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:54,650 Are you all ready to go? 83 00:03:54,690 --> 00:03:56,550 I haven't finished packing yet. 84 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:59,580 Why don't we go inside and have some iced tea? 85 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,220 They hate me. 86 00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:03,630 They don't hate you. 87 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,630 Okay, they kind of hate you, 88 00:04:05,670 --> 00:04:07,130 but it's not your fault. 89 00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:08,970 They haven't liked anybody I've ever dated. 90 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,130 Except Colby. 91 00:04:11,170 --> 00:04:12,900 Well, sure, him. 92 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,340 Take your time, Chris. 93 00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:19,850 Whenever you're ready. 94 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,680 Dad, knock it off. 95 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:23,710 I'm just kidding with him. 96 00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,810 It's kind of our thing. 97 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,800 Perfect timing. 98 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,810 If we leave now, we can still catch "Stabbo the Clown." 99 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,670 Now climb out of the window, and let's go. 100 00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:50,410 I am not going with you. 101 00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:52,610 I am going to Lake Sequester. 102 00:04:52,650 --> 00:04:55,340 To be hunted by a chain saw-wielding maniac. 103 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:57,010 They caught him years ago. 104 00:04:57,050 --> 00:04:58,990 Or so they think. 105 00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:00,890 You're just trying to give me nightmares. 106 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:05,450 Look, this whole insane quest of yours is pointless. 107 00:05:05,490 --> 00:05:08,360 Your in-laws will never respect you. 108 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,360 I have to try. 109 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,920 I just hate to see you expending 110 00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:13,430 such an enormous amount of effort 111 00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:15,440 in what is ultimately a futile pursuit. 112 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,230 It's not healthy. 113 00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:19,670 Have a good weekend, Dan. 114 00:05:24,310 --> 00:05:26,800 So this should be a good time of year to spot bears. 115 00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:31,150 Isn't spotting bears a bad thing when you're camping? 116 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:33,750 Don't tell me you're scared of bears. 117 00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:36,150 I am, actually. 118 00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:39,160 Generally speaking, I'm afraid of anything that can eat me-- 119 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:42,360 bears, sharks, cannibals. 120 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,830 Stop worrying about bears. We just got to make sure 121 00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:46,930 we hang our food from a tree every night. 122 00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:49,940 If you think you can make it 10 hours without a snack. 123 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:52,000 They're tagging the bears this summer. 124 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,010 Like spray-painting them? That seems mean. 125 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,010 No, they're luring them in with artificial hormones 126 00:05:58,050 --> 00:06:00,450 and fitting them with radio transponders. 127 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,450 It's to track their migratory patterns. 128 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,690 Speaking of feral creatures, 129 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,120 how's your friend Dan? 130 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,130 The trick to any successful campaign, Mr. Mumbles, 131 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,450 is the element of surprise. 132 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,130 I think it was Sun Tzu who said-- 133 00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:23,900 I only ask because he seems to be following us. 134 00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:26,410 Oh, you've got to be kidding me. I'll handle this. 135 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:30,530 What was that? 136 00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:32,070 Are you trying to kill me? 137 00:06:32,110 --> 00:06:33,770 Don't tempt me. 138 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:35,750 What are you doing here? 139 00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:38,680 Obviously, I'm sneaking up on you. 140 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,450 Just give me what is rightfully mine, 141 00:06:40,490 --> 00:06:41,960 and I'll go. 142 00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:44,320 - What do you want exactly? - Chris. 143 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,920 I don't know. Sounds reasonable. 144 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,420 Don, stop it. We are not giving him Chris, 145 00:06:49,460 --> 00:06:51,800 even if we'd like to. 146 00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:54,320 Dan, this is really unacceptable. 147 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,890 It's all your fault. 148 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,770 This is not my fault. 149 00:06:57,810 --> 00:07:00,470 It's kind of your fault. He's your friend. 150 00:07:00,510 --> 00:07:02,980 If you'd just come with me to Dismemberfest... 151 00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,440 Okay, let's go. 152 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,280 Dan, you are not invited on this camping trip. 153 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:07,610 Don't follow us. 154 00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:09,120 You're not the boss of me, lady. 155 00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:10,780 I go where I ple-- 156 00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,910 Hey, is that my car battery? 157 00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:15,420 I'll put you on the list! 158 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:18,450 I'll put all of you on the list! 159 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:27,330 Well, that's reassuring. 160 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,310 Nothing like nature, huh, Chris? 161 00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:39,140 No, sir. 162 00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:43,310 I mean, we're so far away from civilization, 163 00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:45,340 anything could happen out here... 164 00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:46,850 anything. 165 00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:50,480 And the nearest help's not for miles. 166 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,190 That's-- 167 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:54,220 yeah. 168 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,730 How's that fire coming? 169 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,230 You guys know they invented something 170 00:07:57,270 --> 00:08:00,230 a couple hundred years ago. They're called matches. 171 00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:02,830 Well, if you can't make fire with nothing but wood 172 00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:05,900 and some elbow grease, you're not a real man, 173 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,410 Iike Chris here. 174 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:09,910 Have it your way. 175 00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:11,280 I was going to walk down to the stream. 176 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:13,910 - You care to join me? - Love to. 177 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,910 Nearest help's not for miles. 178 00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:20,920 ...for miles....for miles. 179 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,250 ...for miles....for miles. 180 00:08:24,590 --> 00:08:27,560 Just think, Mr. Mumbles, these are the very same woods 181 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,220 where the Hockey Mask Maniac-- 182 00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:31,160 wait, who's that? 183 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,760 Can I help you with that? 184 00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,500 Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. 185 00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:57,260 - Who are you? - Chris, are you okay? 186 00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,470 I heard you scre-- Colby? 187 00:09:00,510 --> 00:09:02,100 Hi, beautiful. 188 00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:03,670 Colby? 189 00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,450 See? Just takes a little elbow grease. 190 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,070 Uh-huh. 191 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,640 I can't believe you invited Colby 192 00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:16,020 - on our family camping trip. - Why not? 193 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,820 He's the closest thing I have to a son. 194 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:20,380 What about Ben? 195 00:09:20,430 --> 00:09:22,220 - Who? - Our son. 196 00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:24,630 And why didn't you tell me Colby was coming? 197 00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:27,360 I didn't want to ruin the surprise. 198 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,560 I don't recognize that guy with Chris. 199 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,040 Ah, you're right about that, Mr. Mumbles. 200 00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,800 Whoever he is, he sure is dreamy. 201 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:37,930 No matter. 202 00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:40,070 We'll ruin the camping trip for everyone, 203 00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,600 then take Chris to the movies with us. 204 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,120 So how do we do it? 205 00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:48,210 I know you're hungry, Mr. Mumbles, but-- 206 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,990 You know, you're pretty smart for a kitty. 207 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,590 Let's see how much fun they have 208 00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:01,070 camping without food. 209 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,630 That's when I knew 210 00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:10,400 I was the only one at the zoo who could handle the problem. 211 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,970 How big was the gorilla? 212 00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:15,040 Midsize, about 340 lbs. 213 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,050 And you wrestled it back into its cage all by yourself. 214 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,920 That's my boy. 215 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,990 Hey, anyone mind if I find out how the game's going? 216 00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,650 Washington with a commanding lead 217 00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:27,350 going into the seventh-inning stretch. 218 00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:28,860 In breaking news, 219 00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:31,760 a fire at the Corbin State Prison for the Criminally lnsane 220 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,660 was the opportunity several inmates needed to escape. 221 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,330 That's the prison where they were holding 222 00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:37,860 the Hockey Mask Maniac. 223 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,560 I read an article about him this morning. 224 00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:41,470 While details are fuzzy at this time, 225 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,000 several inmates are unaccounted for, 226 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,570 including most notably-- 227 00:10:45,610 --> 00:10:48,340 Don, did you hear that? 228 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,250 Washington ahead. Yeah, I heard it. 229 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,080 He means the jailbreak. 230 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,780 We should probably get out of here. It's not safe. 231 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,380 Oh, Chris, don't be such a worrywart. 232 00:10:57,420 --> 00:10:58,750 There's a lunatic out there, 233 00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:00,380 and you want to stay here and camp? 234 00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:02,590 Have you never seen a horror movie? 235 00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:04,790 Honestly, the way you carry on sometimes, 236 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,560 you'd think-- 237 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,630 What was that? 238 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,230 Someone's in the woods. 239 00:11:14,270 --> 00:11:16,540 I'm sure it's nothing. 240 00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,570 Stay here. I'll go check it out. 241 00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:19,700 No, don't. 242 00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:21,210 It's the maniac. 243 00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,340 If it's a bear, take a picture. 244 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,280 You got it, Mom! 245 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,020 What do you think you're doing? 246 00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,520 Aah! Dreamboat! 247 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,820 Mr. Mumbles, attack! 248 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,330 Fine. I'll do it myself. 249 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:48,530 - What's happening? - I'll go see if he needs help. 250 00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:51,810 No, wait! That's just what the maniac wants you to do. 251 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,900 - Taken care of, folks. - What happened? 252 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,750 Ah, somebody was trying to steal our food. 253 00:11:57,780 --> 00:11:59,250 I chased him off. 254 00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:01,910 That's my boy! 255 00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:03,820 Wait. What did he look like? 256 00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:06,830 Ah, little guy wearing a t-shirt that said "Jerk" on it. 257 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,520 Of course. Dan. 258 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,690 What stupid stunt is he trying to pull now? 259 00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:18,700 He's not just dreamy. 260 00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:20,730 He's got the strength of 10 men. 261 00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:22,930 And was it just me, or were his eyes 262 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:25,270 even more captivating close up? 263 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:28,280 I think he won the fight because I got lost in them. 264 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,550 Yeah, all right. 265 00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,510 We've ruled out a direct assault. 266 00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:34,980 And by the way, 267 00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,890 thank you for doing nothing while I was getting beaten up. 268 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,790 Aw, I can't stay mad at you. 269 00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:49,460 And did you hear that thing on the radio 270 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,730 about the prison break? For all anyone knows, 271 00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:54,030 the Hockey Mask Maniac is on the loose. 272 00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:58,480 Which gives me an idea. 273 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:02,600 Okay, this will just take a second. 274 00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:09,610 That's strange. 275 00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:12,650 Oh, well. Gift horse and all that. 276 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,350 First stop, sporting goods. 277 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,760 Next, landscaping supplies. 278 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,290 No chain saw? 279 00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:26,740 Why doesn't anything ever go right for me? 280 00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:31,910 Was that sarcasm, Mr. Mumbles? 281 00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:33,910 Well, I guess this will have to do. 282 00:13:33,950 --> 00:13:36,850 Just need some overalls, and we're done. 283 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,610 Okay, scary story time. 284 00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:40,120 Who wants to go first? 285 00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:41,550 Why don't you, dear? 286 00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:44,220 I love spooky stories. 287 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:47,230 Me too. 288 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,390 All right. This is the story 289 00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,860 of the Hockey Mask Maniac. 290 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,260 About 10 years ago, 291 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,890 in these very woods... 292 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,310 Oh, stupid Spider-Man. 293 00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:07,640 And as they dragged him away to prison, 294 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,650 he screamed, "I'll be back someday! 295 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,380 My bloody work 296 00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:14,050 is not yet done!" 297 00:14:14,090 --> 00:14:16,150 It's just a story. 298 00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:18,210 Except that it's not. 299 00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:20,280 Here we go. 300 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:26,960 All shall perish! 301 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,300 Mommy! 302 00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:33,070 Whoops. Wrong campsite. 303 00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:35,730 It's okay, kids. 304 00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:37,610 You can come back now. 305 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,870 No maniacs here. 306 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,020 What? I got turned around in the woods. 307 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,520 It happens. 308 00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:52,960 ?Oh, bears are your friends? 309 00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:55,620 ? I said bears are your friends ? 310 00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:57,890 ? Maybe they're not the kind of friends ? 311 00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,300 ? Who can loan you 20 bucks, but ? 312 00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:03,200 ? Bears are your friends, oh, oh ? 313 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,290 ? Bears are your friends ? 314 00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:06,600 Got you, bear friend. 315 00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:15,300 Friend? 316 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,050 Let me get those for you, Elise. 317 00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:22,110 He still likes you. 318 00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:24,820 Of course he does. I'm awesome. 319 00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:26,650 But I like you. 320 00:15:27,830 --> 00:15:30,800 We've had multiple sightings of the Hockey Mask Maniac. 321 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,660 We need you to clear these woods immediately. 322 00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:34,170 Sorry, Commodore, 323 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,720 but I have, like, many more bears to tag. 324 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,330 Can't you guys do something? 325 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,240 Afraid not. Every man I've got 326 00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:42,170 is up in a tree with a sniper rifle, 327 00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:45,180 itching to shoot a hole in the first hockey mask they see. 328 00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:49,040 Maybe not the best time to be dressed as the Maniac. 329 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,310 Just make sure everyone evacuates the campgrounds. 330 00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:56,320 You can count on me, sir. I'll get right on it. 331 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,290 Thank you, son. 332 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,120 As soon as I'm done tagging these bears. 333 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,860 Tee-hee. 334 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,190 Bears. 335 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,930 Once I douse the family tents in these hormones, 336 00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:15,460 they'll attract so many bears looking for mates 337 00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:17,500 that they won't be able to camp. 338 00:16:17,540 --> 00:16:19,530 Then Chris and l can catch the end 339 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:21,170 of the slasher movie festival-- 340 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,680 Ugh. Gross. 341 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,310 Well, that's a waste of-- 342 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,960 Oh no. 343 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,410 Well, that was completely unpleasant. 344 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,880 And where were you when I was being attacked 345 00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:02,810 by a bear who thought I was her mate? 346 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,710 That is the second time in so many days 347 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,910 that you abandoned me in my time of need. 348 00:17:14,490 --> 00:17:16,630 Forgiven. 349 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,460 Hey, folks. 350 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,260 We've gotten reports that the Hockey Mask Maniac 351 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,270 is running around here somewhere. 352 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,670 It's important for your safety that you leave immediately. 353 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,540 I would have told you last night, 354 00:17:27,570 --> 00:17:29,510 but I forgot. 355 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,910 Sound like Dan to anyone else? 356 00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:34,940 Yeah. We're pretty sure it's not the Hockey Mask Maniac. 357 00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:38,610 Shouldn't we go just to be safe? 358 00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:40,550 Yeah, you probably should. 359 00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:42,050 Well, we're not. 360 00:17:42,090 --> 00:17:43,820 Okay, in that case, 361 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:45,650 I have some forms for you to fill out 362 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,280 acknowledging that the Park Service 363 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:50,630 will not be held responsible if you all meet a grisly fate 364 00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:52,760 or a grizzly bear. 365 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,370 I know, but it's the only set of clothes I have nearby. 366 00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:00,160 All units. Repeat-- All units, 367 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,140 Hockey Mask Maniac sighted near the river. 368 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:03,470 All units proceed to the following coordinates. 369 00:18:03,510 --> 00:18:05,000 Come on, Officer Puddles. 370 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:07,070 Dispatch said this way. 371 00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:09,170 Did you hear that? 372 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:12,710 With the cops gone, we can finally get back to plan A. 373 00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:15,510 I know, Mr. Mumbles. 374 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,580 I'll get you a hockey mask for next time. 375 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,820 Promise. 376 00:18:24,130 --> 00:18:27,100 Look, maybe I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be better 377 00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:29,600 to cut the trip short, just in case? 378 00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:33,770 Scary! 379 00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:35,500 We know it's you, Dan. 380 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,100 What? It is not. 381 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,810 We recognize your voice. 382 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:41,610 Besides, the Hockey Mask Maniac uses a chain saw, 383 00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:43,620 not a weed whacker. 384 00:18:43,650 --> 00:18:47,310 I know that, but the store was out of chain saws. 385 00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:51,150 Plus the real Maniac is supposed to be seven feet tall. 386 00:18:51,190 --> 00:18:53,180 Like him. 387 00:18:54,430 --> 00:18:55,620 Oh, no. 388 00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:57,190 Who are you supposed to be? 389 00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:00,900 Oh, Dan, run! 390 00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:03,900 Oh, thanks. Hadn't thought of that. 391 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,050 We should probably go. 392 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,570 Uh-huh. 393 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,010 Mom! Dad! 394 00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:19,520 Elise, no. You can't help them. 395 00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:20,680 Let me go! 396 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,710 I can't let you endanger-- ow! 397 00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:31,650 Any chance we can talk this out? 398 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,400 It's been a good life, I guess. 399 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,030 Hey, ugly! 400 00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:40,060 Why don't you pick on someone your own crazy? 401 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,740 Jerk. 402 00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:02,390 Are you taking pictures? 403 00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:04,730 Yeah. When will I ever see this again? 404 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,560 Fair enough. 405 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:11,240 Again? You get rid of a Hockey Mask Maniac, 406 00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:14,100 then you have to deal with a bear? Typical. 407 00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,870 Hey, anyone see a bear come through-- 408 00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:17,400 Oh, there she is. 409 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,140 Gotcha, bear. 410 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,910 Oh, and the Maniac! Cool! 411 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,210 Don't you worry, folks. 412 00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,880 That's the last you'll see of the Hockey Mask Maniac. 413 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,790 Unless he escapes again, but what are the odds of that? 414 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,730 Well, this has been fun. 415 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,390 - You didn't have to hit me. - I think I did. 416 00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:42,400 What I don't get is why did that bear attack the Maniac? 417 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,700 She thought she was protecting her mate. 418 00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:46,600 - What was that? - I said 419 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,270 she thought she was protecting her mate, okay? 420 00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:51,780 I don't want to talk about it. 421 00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:53,910 Well, our supplies are gone, 422 00:20:53,950 --> 00:20:55,380 and our tents are ruined. 423 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:58,250 Looks like we'll have to cut this trip short. 424 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:01,080 Oh, thank goodness. 425 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,590 Hey, I guess there's still time 426 00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:04,250 to catch the end of Dismemberfest. 427 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:05,920 Nah, I think I'm pretty burned out 428 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,550 on slasher films for a while. 429 00:21:07,590 --> 00:21:10,560 Plus I'd like to go home and wash the bear hormones off. 430 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,190 Come on, Mr. Mumbles. 431 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:16,130 Chris, you put yourself in harm's way 432 00:21:16,170 --> 00:21:17,970 to try and protect us. 433 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,230 Oh, yeah. I guess I did. 434 00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:22,710 I know we've been hard on you from time to time, 435 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:25,580 but you really showed your true colors today. 436 00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:28,010 - Don, give Chris a hug. - What? 437 00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:30,210 That's really not necessary. 438 00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,720 Now, Don. 439 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,910 I'll get you for this. 440 00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:36,980 Don... 441 00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:39,150 you're squeezing me too hard. 442 00:21:39,190 --> 00:21:41,680 He doesn't hug me like that. 443 00:21:41,730 --> 00:21:43,590 Well... 444 00:21:43,630 --> 00:21:45,460 Iet's go home. 445 00:21:45,510 --> 00:21:50,060 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31477

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