All language subtitles for Dan Vs s01e06 Canada.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:19,910 Grab bags, what a scam. 2 00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:21,680 They lure you in with something you like. 3 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,250 Hmm. Something with an uplifting message. 4 00:00:25,290 --> 00:00:28,280 What is this? Nothing but a hockey almanac, 5 00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:29,760 "The Maple Pals," 6 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,760 "Sgt. Saskatchewan"! 7 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,290 This is the worst comic book ever! 8 00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:36,930 No dark side, no inner rage. 9 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,560 He doesn't even have any enemies, 10 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,570 and politeness is not a superpower. 11 00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:43,940 So many maple leaves. 12 00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:45,770 Can I talk to you for a minute, sir? 13 00:00:45,810 --> 00:00:47,870 It's "may l," and no. 14 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:50,110 We need your help to save the Canadian geese. 15 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,140 I don't even like American geese! 16 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:55,050 One time, a goose bit me and stole my sandwich! 17 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:57,850 I'm sure that's not true. 18 00:00:57,890 --> 00:01:00,860 Don't you impugn me, you goose smoocher! 19 00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:02,720 I say it bit me, like this! 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,060 And this! 21 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,430 Ugh. Sticky. 22 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,230 Maple syrup? 23 00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:16,260 Who's responsible for this? 24 00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:24,810 CANADA!!! 25 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:42,740 Hey, give us the ball back! 26 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:45,180 Ohh! Give me back my son! 27 00:02:00,190 --> 00:02:01,680 Perfect. 28 00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:08,460 We don't come to the park enough. 29 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:09,970 This is so peaceful. 30 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,470 Hello. 31 00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:14,030 I'm covered in syrup! 32 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,630 Who is this? 33 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,140 Get over here right now. 34 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,080 We're going to war with Canada! 35 00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,140 What's going on with Dan? 36 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,850 Did he say something about syrup? 37 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,350 Yes. He's covered in it. 38 00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:28,320 Now he wants revenge on Canada. 39 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,090 Oh, that Dan. Always covered in something. 40 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:35,560 Dan! 41 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,620 Wait. Don't open the-- 42 00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:51,080 Let's go. You're driving. 43 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:53,550 You're not getting in my car all sticky like that. 44 00:02:54,850 --> 00:02:56,340 Pocket shower. 45 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,650 Ahh, so clean you could eat off me. 46 00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:03,420 - I'm not going to do that. - I'm just saying you could. 47 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:06,390 - Well, I'm not going to. - Fine! 48 00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:15,130 So do we have a plan? 49 00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:17,640 Of course. We go to Canada 50 00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:19,660 and make them pay for what they did to me. 51 00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:23,610 That's not really a plan so much as a goal. 52 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:26,610 Fine! You want a plan? Here you go. 53 00:03:26,650 --> 00:03:28,670 Step one, we go to Canada. 54 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,550 Step two, we make them pay for what they did to me! 55 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,650 - Now it's a checklist. - Would you focus? 56 00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:36,880 Here's what I know about Canada. 57 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,620 England and France had a baby out of wedlock, 58 00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:41,290 and that baby was Canada. 59 00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:43,190 Now, as for Canadians... 60 00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:46,200 first, they drink maple syrup 61 00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:48,220 directly out of the bottle. 62 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,240 Second, most Canadians are at least half bear. 63 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:56,110 I don't think they're actually half bear, Dan. 64 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:58,170 What do you know about it? 65 00:03:58,210 --> 00:04:00,040 Alittle bit, actually.. 66 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,550 Okay, Prime Minister. You tell me. 67 00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:05,480 Canadians thrive in cold climates. 68 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,040 They live in the shadow of a massive glacier, 69 00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:10,390 blissfully unaware of the horrific fate 70 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:13,390 that would befall them should the glacier ever collapse. 71 00:04:13,430 --> 00:04:15,050 Good. That's good. 72 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,090 Maybe we can use that. What else? 73 00:04:17,130 --> 00:04:18,620 You could put a Canadian 74 00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:21,640 in a lineup with a bunch of normal people, 75 00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:24,400 and you wouldn't be able to tell. 76 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,870 You have to wait until they drop "eh" 77 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:29,880 or an "aboot" or-- this is a good one. 78 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:32,440 They say, "Sory." 79 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,920 You're right. Normal people never apologize. 80 00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:38,580 No, it's not that. They say, "Sory," 81 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,350 to rhyme with "story." 82 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:41,850 We say, "Sorry." 83 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,750 What does that rhyme with? 84 00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,260 Mata Hari? 85 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:49,130 Wait. How do you know so much about Canadians, anyway? 86 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,790 Nothing. I just, you know-- no reason. 87 00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,460 What are you hiding from me? 88 00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:57,860 I'm 1/16 Canadian. 89 00:04:57,910 --> 00:05:00,310 And you never told me? 90 00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:01,670 It's not my fault. 91 00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:04,180 My great-great-grandfather came from Ottawa. 92 00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:05,940 Are you trying to sabotage my mission? 93 00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:09,850 No! I'm as disgusted by Canada as the next person, honest. 94 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,710 - Prove it! - I can't prove it. 95 00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:13,220 You're going to have to trust me. 96 00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:14,720 And if I don't? 97 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,550 Then you can get to Canada on your own. 98 00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:20,220 I don't even know where Canada is! 99 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,750 It's north. You can't miss it. 100 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,490 Figures you'd know that. 101 00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:27,000 I suppose if you're 1/16 Canadian, 102 00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:28,930 you're still 10/16 normal person. 103 00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,370 You're being ridiculous, 104 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,340 and your math doesn't even add up. 105 00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:35,210 I mean, what do you think the other 5/16 are? 106 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,730 Goo. 107 00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,230 Oh. Well, good evening, eh? 108 00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:55,630 Puck-slapping maple-sucker. 109 00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:57,360 Be quiet. These guys are tough. 110 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,090 Because they're half bear. 111 00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:03,100 So now, what's the purpose of your visit here to Canada? 112 00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:05,660 I wish to exact my vengeance 113 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:07,500 upon this blight of a nation! 114 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,380 Not today. Sory. 115 00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:20,340 Unguarded border, my foot. 116 00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:22,010 This fence looks electrified. 117 00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:24,650 It can't be. Canadians don't have the technology yet. 118 00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:26,160 I can't-- ohh-- 119 00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:28,130 believe he just-- yaah-- 120 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,990 picked up my car with his-- aah-- 121 00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,520 - bare hands. - Just hurry. 122 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,590 Hey, can I use the rubber gloves? 123 00:06:33,630 --> 00:06:35,100 I'm getting shocked here. 124 00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:36,690 No. My hands are cold. 125 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:47,810 Canada sucks. 126 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,470 What kind of a country is this? 127 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:53,640 They still have all their trees. They're like baby teeth. 128 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,440 The landscape hasn't changed 129 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,780 since the days of my great-great-grandfather. 130 00:06:57,820 --> 00:06:59,410 Hey, did I ever tell you about him? 131 00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,080 No one wants to hear your boring story. 132 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,250 It was 100 years ago. 133 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:07,090 So when I say, "No one wants to hear your boring story," 134 00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:08,750 what do you hear? 135 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,790 It was 100 years ago. 136 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:16,800 My great-great-grandfather 137 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,800 was a woodsman with a wife and young son. 138 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,400 One day, he wandered into the forest... 139 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,840 ? O Canada, O Canada ? 140 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,640 ? La la la la la, Canada. ? 141 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,280 ...never to be seen again. 142 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,620 Wow. Great story. 143 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,150 It's not done. He comes back. 144 00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:41,350 You just said, "never to be seen again." 145 00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,020 Except when he came back. 146 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:45,860 You are the worst storyteller in the world. 147 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,660 Anyway... 148 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,360 it was some time later. 149 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,370 His wife had him declared dead, and she remarried. 150 00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:57,640 But then he comes walking out of the woods again. 151 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,350 I'm home, eh. 152 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:05,610 Where have you been, eh? 153 00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,740 I was hiking through the mountain 154 00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:09,280 and fell down a hole. 155 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,310 Found a weak spot in the glacier, 156 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,480 could cause an avalanche and kill us all. 157 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:14,720 Avalanche? 158 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,990 Don't get your hopes up. He was crazy. 159 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,930 I was trapped there for years. 160 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,930 I had to do unspeakable things to keep warm. 161 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:24,660 - What kind of thi-- - I just said, "unspeakable." 162 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,670 I'll tell you later when we're snuggling. 163 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:30,000 Well, this is a little awkward. 164 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,700 I had you declared dead. 165 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:35,140 - I'm remarried now, to Skip. - Hey. 166 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,510 You couldn't wait for me? 167 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,070 It's been six years. 168 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,550 I had to remarry after three. It's the law, eh. 169 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:43,050 Canadian law. 170 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,520 Stay out of this, Skip. 171 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,050 They decided that he could sleep in the barn 172 00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:49,690 until he figured out where he was going to go, 173 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,390 but that night... 174 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:57,000 What kind of name is Skip? Aah! 175 00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,840 Oh, no, eh! 176 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:14,010 So you're descended from a Canadian ax murderer? 177 00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:16,110 Attempted ax murderer. 178 00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:17,950 He didn't manage to kill anyone. 179 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:20,360 The family escaped and moved to the U.S. 180 00:09:20,390 --> 00:09:22,760 And what happened to your great-great-grandfather? 181 00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:26,420 He ran back into the woods, heading towards the glacier. 182 00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,730 I hate Skip! 183 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:31,000 I hate Canada! 184 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,560 I'll make you all sory! 185 00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:36,570 You'll see, eh! 186 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,940 EH!!! 187 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:42,280 Never to be seen again. 188 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:43,580 Except when he came back. 189 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:45,480 No, this time, he stayed missing. 190 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,490 Some say he's still out there to this day. 191 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,890 - So he'd be, like, 130. - About that. 192 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,480 So he's probably not still out there. 193 00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:54,990 Probably not. 194 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,790 Probably eaten by a yeti. 195 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,990 He wasn't eaten by a yeti, Dan. 196 00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:01,930 How do you know? This country is lousy with yetis. 197 00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:03,590 Maybe he ran across one. 198 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,470 Maybe they became friends. 199 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,730 Maybe he married one. 200 00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:10,570 My great-great-grandfather was not a yeti lover! 201 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,840 Whoa. Whoa, is that even a thing? 202 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,470 I thought I was just messing with you. 203 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,040 It is a thing... 204 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,350 a bad, shameful thing. 205 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,320 Yeti lover. 206 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,150 Great. Now I've got snow in my pockets. 207 00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:31,590 We've got to get to that glacier. 208 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,190 Were you listening to my story? 209 00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:35,890 My great-great-grandfather was off his rocker. 210 00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:38,030 It's like they say, insanity breeds truth. 211 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,370 - They don't say that. - Sure, they do. 212 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:44,130 I want to go home. 213 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:46,510 Canada makes me feel ursine. 214 00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:48,140 Can I have a bite of that sandwich? 215 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,670 Get your own food! 216 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:09,230 We've been marching for days! 217 00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:11,600 Canada's a big place, Dan. 218 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,040 In fact, it's the second-largest-- 219 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,970 "Oh, Canada's a big place, Dan. 220 00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:18,370 In fact, it's the second-largest country 221 00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:20,540 in land mass." Blah, blah, blah. 222 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,570 "Wide variety of climates." 223 00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:24,080 What? Are we at the glacier? 224 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,240 Even better! Ice rink! 225 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,750 This isn't the plan! 226 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,520 Triple Axel! Nailed it. 227 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,390 Okay, you've had your fun. Now let's go. 228 00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:37,520 Not yet. I want to work on my Salchow. 229 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:39,720 Unbelievable! 230 00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,570 I'm getting frostbite. 231 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,670 That's what you get for derailing the plan. 232 00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:56,110 You sure this is the most effective mode of transportation? 233 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:59,740 Of course. These things can run for hours. 234 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,890 Drat. 235 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,360 Wait a minute. 236 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,060 Look! They spelled "stop" wrong! 237 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,030 Canadians. 238 00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:19,040 It's French. I think we're in Quebec. 239 00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:21,270 What? I hate Quebec! 240 00:12:21,310 --> 00:12:24,280 I hate it! I hate it!! 241 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,830 I hate it!!! 242 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,610 I HATE IT!!! 243 00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:29,610 Whoa. What's this? 244 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,520 Hmm. I'm beginning to like their style. 245 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,250 You are not allowed here. 246 00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,780 Go away. 247 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:44,460 Ah! Come in! Come in! 248 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,860 Come with me, please. 249 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,200 Oh. Hockey. 250 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,210 Hockey? 251 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,710 You're becoming more Canadian by the second. 252 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:02,110 And now please welcome your... 253 00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:04,670 Toronto Ontarians! 254 00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:08,680 Hey, I'm drowning, eh. 255 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:15,150 For years, we have looked for the weak spot in the glacier. 256 00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:18,160 So the weak spot exists! 257 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,490 Your ancestor wasn't crazy after all. 258 00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:22,120 Except for the, you know... 259 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:32,930 I'd really like you to stop doing that. 260 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,470 We need a more specific map of the glacier 261 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,980 to find the ice cave. 262 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:40,350 If we get your map, you'll hurt Canada? 263 00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:42,480 Yes, it's true! 264 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,460 Once we tunnel through the weak spot, 265 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,020 the glacier will collapse, 266 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,990 causing a-- how you say-- avalanche? 267 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,890 - Snow tsunami? - Oui. 268 00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:56,060 This will ruin springtime for the whole of Canada! 269 00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:01,570 Say goodbye to your holiday on Nova Scotia, Canadians! 270 00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:04,040 - Wait. Aren't you Canad-- - Dan, no! 271 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,240 What's this all about? 272 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,680 The Quebecois think they're French. 273 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,780 I see the problem here. 274 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:17,750 Okay, you guys are here, 275 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,850 and all the way over here... 276 00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:22,360 is France. 277 00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:25,990 You're just confused geographically. 278 00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:38,030 Would you get up? We're on a mission! 279 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,440 You landed on my kidneys. 280 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,640 You, you, you! 281 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,340 What about me? 282 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,010 What about my kidneys? 283 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:48,280 Stay focused. We need to find that map. 284 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,550 All right. Where to now? 285 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,280 The Geological Society of Canada. 286 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,420 - Where's that? - No idea. 287 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,890 Is there such a thing? 288 00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,790 No idea. 289 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,220 Okay. 290 00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,450 Help me find a good map of the glacier, 291 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,250 one with numbers on it and stuff. 292 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,260 How about this one? 293 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:14,760 Perfect. 294 00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,590 Here we are in the third period. 295 00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,100 It's a riveting game, 296 00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,620 with the score still tied at zero 297 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:22,260 and both teams still drowning. 298 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:25,000 Now to cover our tracks. 299 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,970 - What are you doing? - Burning the place down. 300 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,270 What is it with you and arson? 301 00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,110 Fire is the cleanser! 302 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,440 No, Dan, stop it! 303 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,090 Are those curling brooms? 304 00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:55,100 Yeah, from, like, 1980. 305 00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:00,460 Watch the hard bristles 306 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:03,500 on my soft, supple skin! 307 00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,010 Don't you find it weird 308 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,380 that the bristles hurt more than the stick? 309 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,410 At least they were nice enough to drop us off 310 00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:13,040 at the hospital after they beat us. 311 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:16,060 Canadians are polite. Violent, but polite. 312 00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:17,720 We should get out of here 313 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,450 before they bring us a bill for millions of dollars. 314 00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:22,930 They have socialized medicine up here, Dan. 315 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,520 They're not gonna charge us. 316 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,690 Oh! I can't believe what I'm hearing! 317 00:16:26,730 --> 00:16:29,200 - Don't take their side! - Sory. 318 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,470 Did you just say, "Sory"? 319 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,500 Huh? No. No. You're hearing things. 320 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,630 You did! You said, "Sory!" 321 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:38,970 I did not! 322 00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:41,810 I've had my doubts about you from the beginning! 323 00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:43,940 You've been sabotaging me this whole time, 324 00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:46,280 you big, dumb caribou! 325 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,950 I've been helping you, you ungrateful hoser! 326 00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:51,010 Hoser? I knew it! 327 00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:52,550 You are half bear! 328 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,080 And I don't need you! Get out! 329 00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,920 - Fine! - Fine! 330 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,860 - Good luck getting home! - Good luck being stupid! 331 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:01,060 Well, good luck-- 332 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,570 You're stupid! 333 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,770 Dr. Bender to the medical ward, please. 334 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:12,370 Dr. Bender. 335 00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:14,440 You're holding it upside down. 336 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,280 I know that! 337 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,440 Wait a minute. What's this? 338 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,680 I don't know! I can't read maps! 339 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,750 - I've got it! - What? 340 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:25,090 You want to destroy Canada, follow me. 341 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:28,390 I'm taking this stethoscope. 342 00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:30,400 We've got a lot of ground to cover 343 00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,400 and not much time to do it. 344 00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:33,760 Did you know a grizzly 345 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,770 will outrun a horse over short distances? 346 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,360 No, no. Absolutely not. 347 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:43,170 You can talk to bears? 348 00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:45,700 What did you say? Were you talking about me? 349 00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:48,680 It's a bear thing. 350 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,050 You wouldn't understand. 351 00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:04,290 - I'm bored. - Bored? 352 00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:07,160 We're riding a grizzly bear up a cliff! 353 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,000 Yeah, but we're missing so much good TV. 354 00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:18,810 What's a "KM"? Kanadian miles? 355 00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:20,310 Basically. 356 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,250 Are we there yet? 357 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,770 We're here! 358 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,190 Is that... 359 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,590 Oh! A frozen mooseburger! Mmm. Mmm. 360 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:41,620 And my great-great-grandfather's skeleton. 361 00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,290 Mmm. Weird. 362 00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:45,430 Looks like he spent the last years of his life 363 00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:48,000 trying to chop through the weak spot in the glacier. 364 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,910 At least your family is good for something, 365 00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,410 helping me. 366 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,780 - That and ax murder. - Attempted ax murder. 367 00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:56,280 Then your family's only good for one thing. 368 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,610 Get to chopping. 369 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,260 That's it! We've found it! 370 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:18,440 Wait! I want to do it. 371 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,680 Don't you growl at me! 372 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,740 I didn't-- aah! 373 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:36,520 Oh, come on! 374 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,010 Chris! Help me! 375 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,900 Wow! You are half bear! 376 00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:01,410 I didn't want to do this. 377 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,340 Bad yeti! 378 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,870 You're a bad yeti! 379 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,780 Now apologize to your Uncle Chris! 380 00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:11,190 I am not related to a ye-- 381 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,690 I knew this was good for something. 382 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:21,860 Did you see the ring on that yeti's finger? 383 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:24,100 Yeah, it was... family crest. 384 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,470 What was that? 385 00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:27,940 I said it had my family crest on it, okay? 386 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,940 That's why my family left Canada. 387 00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,040 I thought it was because of the ax murder thing. 388 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,910 Please. Ax murderers are a dime a dozen up here. 389 00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:36,440 Every family has at least one. 390 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,280 No, it was the shame of being related to a-- 391 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,220 well, to a yeti lover. 392 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:42,780 Oh, buddy. 393 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,650 Just don't. 394 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,650 Come on, Chris. 395 00:20:58,870 --> 00:21:00,270 Time to go! 396 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,020 Ah, eh, the first bud of spring. 397 00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:14,020 Oh, no, eh! 398 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,150 Sacre bleu! 399 00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:20,590 Be careful what you wish for! 400 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,460 Thousands are still missing 401 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,630 after the collapse of the glacier. 402 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:33,200 - Oh, 102. 403 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,140 Chris... get over here. 404 00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,970 Make me some soup. 405 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,240 Who's that? 406 00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:42,080 Telemarketer. 407 00:21:42,110 --> 00:21:43,910 I'm going to get you some more tea. 408 00:21:43,950 --> 00:21:45,420 Chicken noodle. 409 00:21:45,450 --> 00:21:48,010 Maybe some beef broth. 410 00:21:48,050 --> 00:21:50,050 Hello? 411 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:54,650 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 28348

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.