All language subtitles for Dan Vs s01e06 Canada.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:19,910 Grab bags, what a scam. 2 00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:21,680 They lure you in with something you like. 3 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,250 Hmm. Something with an uplifting message. 4 00:00:25,290 --> 00:00:28,280 What is this? Nothing but a hockey almanac, 5 00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:29,760 "The Maple Pals," 6 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,760 "Sgt. Saskatchewan"! 7 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,290 This is the worst comic book ever! 8 00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:36,930 No dark side, no inner rage. 9 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,560 He doesn't even have any enemies, 10 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,570 and politeness is not a superpower. 11 00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:43,940 So many maple leaves. 12 00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:45,770 Can I talk to you for a minute, sir? 13 00:00:45,810 --> 00:00:47,870 It's "may l," and no. 14 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:50,110 We need your help to save the Canadian geese. 15 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,140 I don't even like American geese! 16 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:55,050 One time, a goose bit me and stole my sandwich! 17 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:57,850 I'm sure that's not true. 18 00:00:57,890 --> 00:01:00,860 Don't you impugn me, you goose smoocher! 19 00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:02,720 I say it bit me, like this! 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,060 And this! 21 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,430 Ugh. Sticky. 22 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,230 Maple syrup? 23 00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:16,260 Who's responsible for this? 24 00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:24,810 CANADA!!! 25 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:42,740 Hey, give us the ball back! 26 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:45,180 Ohh! Give me back my son! 27 00:02:00,190 --> 00:02:01,680 Perfect. 28 00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:08,460 We don't come to the park enough. 29 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:09,970 This is so peaceful. 30 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,470 Hello. 31 00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:14,030 I'm covered in syrup! 32 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,630 Who is this? 33 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,140 Get over here right now. 34 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,080 We're going to war with Canada! 35 00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,140 What's going on with Dan? 36 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,850 Did he say something about syrup? 37 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,350 Yes. He's covered in it. 38 00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:28,320 Now he wants revenge on Canada. 39 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,090 Oh, that Dan. Always covered in something. 40 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:35,560 Dan! 41 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,620 Wait. Don't open the-- 42 00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:51,080 Let's go. You're driving. 43 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:53,550 You're not getting in my car all sticky like that. 44 00:02:54,850 --> 00:02:56,340 Pocket shower. 45 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,650 Ahh, so clean you could eat off me. 46 00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:03,420 - I'm not going to do that. - I'm just saying you could. 47 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:06,390 - Well, I'm not going to. - Fine! 48 00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:15,130 So do we have a plan? 49 00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:17,640 Of course. We go to Canada 50 00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:19,660 and make them pay for what they did to me. 51 00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:23,610 That's not really a plan so much as a goal. 52 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:26,610 Fine! You want a plan? Here you go. 53 00:03:26,650 --> 00:03:28,670 Step one, we go to Canada. 54 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,550 Step two, we make them pay for what they did to me! 55 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,650 - Now it's a checklist. - Would you focus? 56 00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:36,880 Here's what I know about Canada. 57 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,620 England and France had a baby out of wedlock, 58 00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:41,290 and that baby was Canada. 59 00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:43,190 Now, as for Canadians... 60 00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:46,200 first, they drink maple syrup 61 00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:48,220 directly out of the bottle. 62 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,240 Second, most Canadians are at least half bear. 63 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:56,110 I don't think they're actually half bear, Dan. 64 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:58,170 What do you know about it? 65 00:03:58,210 --> 00:04:00,040 Alittle bit, actually.. 66 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,550 Okay, Prime Minister. You tell me. 67 00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:05,480 Canadians thrive in cold climates. 68 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,040 They live in the shadow of a massive glacier, 69 00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:10,390 blissfully unaware of the horrific fate 70 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:13,390 that would befall them should the glacier ever collapse. 71 00:04:13,430 --> 00:04:15,050 Good. That's good. 72 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,090 Maybe we can use that. What else? 73 00:04:17,130 --> 00:04:18,620 You could put a Canadian 74 00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:21,640 in a lineup with a bunch of normal people, 75 00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:24,400 and you wouldn't be able to tell. 76 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,870 You have to wait until they drop "eh" 77 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:29,880 or an "aboot" or-- this is a good one. 78 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:32,440 They say, "Sory." 79 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,920 You're right. Normal people never apologize. 80 00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:38,580 No, it's not that. They say, "Sory," 81 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,350 to rhyme with "story." 82 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:41,850 We say, "Sorry." 83 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,750 What does that rhyme with? 84 00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,260 Mata Hari? 85 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:49,130 Wait. How do you know so much about Canadians, anyway? 86 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,790 Nothing. I just, you know-- no reason. 87 00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,460 What are you hiding from me? 88 00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:57,860 I'm 1/16 Canadian. 89 00:04:57,910 --> 00:05:00,310 And you never told me? 90 00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:01,670 It's not my fault. 91 00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:04,180 My great-great-grandfather came from Ottawa. 92 00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:05,940 Are you trying to sabotage my mission? 93 00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:09,850 No! I'm as disgusted by Canada as the next person, honest. 94 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,710 - Prove it! - I can't prove it. 95 00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:13,220 You're going to have to trust me. 96 00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:14,720 And if I don't? 97 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,550 Then you can get to Canada on your own. 98 00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:20,220 I don't even know where Canada is! 99 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,750 It's north. You can't miss it. 100 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,490 Figures you'd know that. 101 00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:27,000 I suppose if you're 1/16 Canadian, 102 00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:28,930 you're still 10/16 normal person. 103 00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,370 You're being ridiculous, 104 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,340 and your math doesn't even add up. 105 00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:35,210 I mean, what do you think the other 5/16 are? 106 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,730 Goo. 107 00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,230 Oh. Well, good evening, eh? 108 00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:55,630 Puck-slapping maple-sucker. 109 00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:57,360 Be quiet. These guys are tough. 110 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,090 Because they're half bear. 111 00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:03,100 So now, what's the purpose of your visit here to Canada? 112 00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:05,660 I wish to exact my vengeance 113 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:07,500 upon this blight of a nation! 114 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,380 Not today. Sory. 115 00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:20,340 Unguarded border, my foot. 116 00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:22,010 This fence looks electrified. 117 00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:24,650 It can't be. Canadians don't have the technology yet. 118 00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:26,160 I can't-- ohh-- 119 00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:28,130 believe he just-- yaah-- 120 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,990 picked up my car with his-- aah-- 121 00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,520 - bare hands. - Just hurry. 122 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,590 Hey, can I use the rubber gloves? 123 00:06:33,630 --> 00:06:35,100 I'm getting shocked here. 124 00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:36,690 No. My hands are cold. 125 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:47,810 Canada sucks. 126 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,470 What kind of a country is this? 127 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:53,640 They still have all their trees. They're like baby teeth. 128 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,440 The landscape hasn't changed 129 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,780 since the days of my great-great-grandfather. 130 00:06:57,820 --> 00:06:59,410 Hey, did I ever tell you about him? 131 00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,080 No one wants to hear your boring story. 132 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,250 It was 100 years ago. 133 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:07,090 So when I say, "No one wants to hear your boring story," 134 00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:08,750 what do you hear? 135 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,790 It was 100 years ago. 136 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:16,800 My great-great-grandfather 137 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,800 was a woodsman with a wife and young son. 138 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,400 One day, he wandered into the forest... 139 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,840 ? O Canada, O Canada ? 140 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,640 ? La la la la la, Canada. ? 141 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,280 ...never to be seen again. 142 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,620 Wow. Great story. 143 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,150 It's not done. He comes back. 144 00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:41,350 You just said, "never to be seen again." 145 00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,020 Except when he came back. 146 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:45,860 You are the worst storyteller in the world. 147 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,660 Anyway... 148 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,360 it was some time later. 149 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,370 His wife had him declared dead, and she remarried. 150 00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:57,640 But then he comes walking out of the woods again. 151 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,350 I'm home, eh. 152 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:05,610 Where have you been, eh? 153 00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,740 I was hiking through the mountain 154 00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:09,280 and fell down a hole. 155 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,310 Found a weak spot in the glacier, 156 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,480 could cause an avalanche and kill us all. 157 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:14,720 Avalanche? 158 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,990 Don't get your hopes up. He was crazy. 159 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,930 I was trapped there for years. 160 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,930 I had to do unspeakable things to keep warm. 161 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:24,660 - What kind of thi-- - I just said, "unspeakable." 162 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,670 I'll tell you later when we're snuggling. 163 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:30,000 Well, this is a little awkward. 164 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,700 I had you declared dead. 165 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:35,140 - I'm remarried now, to Skip. - Hey. 166 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,510 You couldn't wait for me? 167 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,070 It's been six years. 168 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,550 I had to remarry after three. It's the law, eh. 169 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:43,050 Canadian law. 170 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,520 Stay out of this, Skip. 171 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,050 They decided that he could sleep in the barn 172 00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:49,690 until he figured out where he was going to go, 173 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,390 but that night... 174 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:57,000 What kind of name is Skip? Aah! 175 00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,840 Oh, no, eh! 176 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:14,010 So you're descended from a Canadian ax murderer? 177 00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:16,110 Attempted ax murderer. 178 00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:17,950 He didn't manage to kill anyone. 179 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:20,360 The family escaped and moved to the U.S. 180 00:09:20,390 --> 00:09:22,760 And what happened to your great-great-grandfather? 181 00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:26,420 He ran back into the woods, heading towards the glacier. 182 00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,730 I hate Skip! 183 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:31,000 I hate Canada! 184 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,560 I'll make you all sory! 185 00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:36,570 You'll see, eh! 186 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,940 EH!!! 187 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:42,280 Never to be seen again. 188 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:43,580 Except when he came back. 189 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:45,480 No, this time, he stayed missing. 190 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,490 Some say he's still out there to this day. 191 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,890 - So he'd be, like, 130. - About that. 192 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,480 So he's probably not still out there. 193 00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:54,990 Probably not. 194 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,790 Probably eaten by a yeti. 195 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,990 He wasn't eaten by a yeti, Dan. 196 00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:01,930 How do you know? This country is lousy with yetis. 197 00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:03,590 Maybe he ran across one. 198 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,470 Maybe they became friends. 199 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,730 Maybe he married one. 200 00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:10,570 My great-great-grandfather was not a yeti lover! 201 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,840 Whoa. Whoa, is that even a thing? 202 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,470 I thought I was just messing with you. 203 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,040 It is a thing... 204 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,350 a bad, shameful thing. 205 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,320 Yeti lover. 206 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,150 Great. Now I've got snow in my pockets. 207 00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:31,590 We've got to get to that glacier. 208 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,190 Were you listening to my story? 209 00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:35,890 My great-great-grandfather was off his rocker. 210 00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:38,030 It's like they say, insanity breeds truth. 211 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,370 - They don't say that. - Sure, they do. 212 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:44,130 I want to go home. 213 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:46,510 Canada makes me feel ursine. 214 00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:48,140 Can I have a bite of that sandwich? 215 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,670 Get your own food! 216 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:09,230 We've been marching for days! 217 00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:11,600 Canada's a big place, Dan. 218 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,040 In fact, it's the second-largest-- 219 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,970 "Oh, Canada's a big place, Dan. 220 00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:18,370 In fact, it's the second-largest country 221 00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:20,540 in land mass." Blah, blah, blah. 222 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,570 "Wide variety of climates." 223 00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:24,080 What? Are we at the glacier? 224 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,240 Even better! Ice rink! 225 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,750 This isn't the plan! 226 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,520 Triple Axel! Nailed it. 227 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,390 Okay, you've had your fun. Now let's go. 228 00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:37,520 Not yet. I want to work on my Salchow. 229 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:39,720 Unbelievable! 230 00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,570 I'm getting frostbite. 231 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,670 That's what you get for derailing the plan. 232 00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:56,110 You sure this is the most effective mode of transportation? 233 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:59,740 Of course. These things can run for hours. 234 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,890 Drat. 235 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,360 Wait a minute. 236 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,060 Look! They spelled "stop" wrong! 237 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,030 Canadians. 238 00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:19,040 It's French. I think we're in Quebec. 239 00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:21,270 What? I hate Quebec! 240 00:12:21,310 --> 00:12:24,280 I hate it! I hate it!! 241 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,830 I hate it!!! 242 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,610 I HATE IT!!! 243 00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:29,610 Whoa. What's this? 244 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,520 Hmm. I'm beginning to like their style. 245 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,250 You are not allowed here. 246 00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,780 Go away. 247 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:44,460 Ah! Come in! Come in! 248 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,860 Come with me, please. 249 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,200 Oh. Hockey. 250 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,210 Hockey? 251 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,710 You're becoming more Canadian by the second. 252 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:02,110 And now please welcome your... 253 00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:04,670 Toronto Ontarians! 254 00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:08,680 Hey, I'm drowning, eh. 255 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:15,150 For years, we have looked for the weak spot in the glacier. 256 00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:18,160 So the weak spot exists! 257 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,490 Your ancestor wasn't crazy after all. 258 00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:22,120 Except for the, you know... 259 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:32,930 I'd really like you to stop doing that. 260 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,470 We need a more specific map of the glacier 261 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,980 to find the ice cave. 262 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:40,350 If we get your map, you'll hurt Canada? 263 00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:42,480 Yes, it's true! 264 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,460 Once we tunnel through the weak spot, 265 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,020 the glacier will collapse, 266 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,990 causing a-- how you say-- avalanche? 267 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,890 - Snow tsunami? - Oui. 268 00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:56,060 This will ruin springtime for the whole of Canada! 269 00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:01,570 Say goodbye to your holiday on Nova Scotia, Canadians! 270 00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:04,040 - Wait. Aren't you Canad-- - Dan, no! 271 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,240 What's this all about? 272 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,680 The Quebecois think they're French. 273 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,780 I see the problem here. 274 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:17,750 Okay, you guys are here, 275 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,850 and all the way over here... 276 00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:22,360 is France. 277 00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:25,990 You're just confused geographically. 278 00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:38,030 Would you get up? We're on a mission! 279 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,440 You landed on my kidneys. 280 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,640 You, you, you! 281 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,340 What about me? 282 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,010 What about my kidneys? 283 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:48,280 Stay focused. We need to find that map. 284 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,550 All right. Where to now? 285 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,280 The Geological Society of Canada. 286 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,420 - Where's that? - No idea. 287 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,890 Is there such a thing? 288 00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,790 No idea. 289 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,220 Okay. 290 00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,450 Help me find a good map of the glacier, 291 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,250 one with numbers on it and stuff. 292 00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:13,260 How about this one? 293 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:14,760 Perfect. 294 00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,590 Here we are in the third period. 295 00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,100 It's a riveting game, 296 00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,620 with the score still tied at zero 297 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:22,260 and both teams still drowning. 298 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:25,000 Now to cover our tracks. 299 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,970 - What are you doing? - Burning the place down. 300 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,270 What is it with you and arson? 301 00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,110 Fire is the cleanser! 302 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,440 No, Dan, stop it! 303 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,090 Are those curling brooms? 304 00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:55,100 Yeah, from, like, 1980. 305 00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:00,460 Watch the hard bristles 306 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:03,500 on my soft, supple skin! 307 00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,010 Don't you find it weird 308 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,380 that the bristles hurt more than the stick? 309 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,410 At least they were nice enough to drop us off 310 00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:13,040 at the hospital after they beat us. 311 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:16,060 Canadians are polite. Violent, but polite. 312 00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:17,720 We should get out of here 313 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,450 before they bring us a bill for millions of dollars. 314 00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:22,930 They have socialized medicine up here, Dan. 315 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,520 They're not gonna charge us. 316 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,690 Oh! I can't believe what I'm hearing! 317 00:16:26,730 --> 00:16:29,200 - Don't take their side! - Sory. 318 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,470 Did you just say, "Sory"? 319 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,500 Huh? No. No. You're hearing things. 320 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,630 You did! You said, "Sory!" 321 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:38,970 I did not! 322 00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:41,810 I've had my doubts about you from the beginning! 323 00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:43,940 You've been sabotaging me this whole time, 324 00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:46,280 you big, dumb caribou! 325 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,950 I've been helping you, you ungrateful hoser! 326 00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:51,010 Hoser? I knew it! 327 00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:52,550 You are half bear! 328 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,080 And I don't need you! Get out! 329 00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,920 - Fine! - Fine! 330 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,860 - Good luck getting home! - Good luck being stupid! 331 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:01,060 Well, good luck-- 332 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,570 You're stupid! 333 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,770 Dr. Bender to the medical ward, please. 334 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:12,370 Dr. Bender. 335 00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:14,440 You're holding it upside down. 336 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,280 I know that! 337 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,440 Wait a minute. What's this? 338 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,680 I don't know! I can't read maps! 339 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,750 - I've got it! - What? 340 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:25,090 You want to destroy Canada, follow me. 341 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:28,390 I'm taking this stethoscope. 342 00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:30,400 We've got a lot of ground to cover 343 00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,400 and not much time to do it. 344 00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:33,760 Did you know a grizzly 345 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,770 will outrun a horse over short distances? 346 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,360 No, no. Absolutely not. 347 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:43,170 You can talk to bears? 348 00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:45,700 What did you say? Were you talking about me? 349 00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:48,680 It's a bear thing. 350 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,050 You wouldn't understand. 351 00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:04,290 - I'm bored. - Bored? 352 00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:07,160 We're riding a grizzly bear up a cliff! 353 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,000 Yeah, but we're missing so much good TV. 354 00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:18,810 What's a "KM"? Kanadian miles? 355 00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:20,310 Basically. 356 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,250 Are we there yet? 357 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,770 We're here! 358 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,190 Is that... 359 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,590 Oh! A frozen mooseburger! Mmm. Mmm. 360 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:41,620 And my great-great-grandfather's skeleton. 361 00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,290 Mmm. Weird. 362 00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:45,430 Looks like he spent the last years of his life 363 00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:48,000 trying to chop through the weak spot in the glacier. 364 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,910 At least your family is good for something, 365 00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,410 helping me. 366 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,780 - That and ax murder. - Attempted ax murder. 367 00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:56,280 Then your family's only good for one thing. 368 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,610 Get to chopping. 369 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,260 That's it! We've found it! 370 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:18,440 Wait! I want to do it. 371 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,680 Don't you growl at me! 372 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,740 I didn't-- aah! 373 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:36,520 Oh, come on! 374 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,010 Chris! Help me! 375 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,900 Wow! You are half bear! 376 00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:01,410 I didn't want to do this. 377 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,340 Bad yeti! 378 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,870 You're a bad yeti! 379 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,780 Now apologize to your Uncle Chris! 380 00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:11,190 I am not related to a ye-- 381 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,690 I knew this was good for something. 382 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:21,860 Did you see the ring on that yeti's finger? 383 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:24,100 Yeah, it was... family crest. 384 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,470 What was that? 385 00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:27,940 I said it had my family crest on it, okay? 386 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,940 That's why my family left Canada. 387 00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,040 I thought it was because of the ax murder thing. 388 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,910 Please. Ax murderers are a dime a dozen up here. 389 00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:36,440 Every family has at least one. 390 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,280 No, it was the shame of being related to a-- 391 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,220 well, to a yeti lover. 392 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:42,780 Oh, buddy. 393 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,650 Just don't. 394 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,650 Come on, Chris. 395 00:20:58,870 --> 00:21:00,270 Time to go! 396 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,020 Ah, eh, the first bud of spring. 397 00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:14,020 Oh, no, eh! 398 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,150 Sacre bleu! 399 00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:20,590 Be careful what you wish for! 400 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,460 Thousands are still missing 401 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,630 after the collapse of the glacier. 402 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:33,200 - Oh, 102. 403 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,140 Chris... get over here. 404 00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,970 Make me some soup. 405 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,240 Who's that? 406 00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:42,080 Telemarketer. 407 00:21:42,110 --> 00:21:43,910 I'm going to get you some more tea. 408 00:21:43,950 --> 00:21:45,420 Chicken noodle. 409 00:21:45,450 --> 00:21:48,010 Maybe some beef broth. 410 00:21:48,050 --> 00:21:50,050 Hello? 411 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:54,650 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 28348

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