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1
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:22,964
I'm a mad genius! A mad genius!
2
00:00:23,202 --> 00:00:26,001
Today, Mockingbird Heights...
3
00:00:25,954 --> 00:00:29,015
tomorrow, the world!
4
00:00:39,869 --> 00:00:42,532
Herman, is that you?
5
00:00:42,589 --> 00:00:44,581
Yes, dear, it's me.
6
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,892
What's it like outside?
7
00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:52,934
It was miserable for a while
until I started up the walk.
8
00:00:53,051 --> 00:00:55,282
Then it suddenly turned nice.
9
00:00:55,385 --> 00:00:58,219
See? The lightning
even hit my lunch box.
10
00:01:00,216 --> 00:01:01,616
Sorry, dear.
11
00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:04,936
Grandpa will be pleased.
12
00:01:04,919 --> 00:01:08,287
He's been working all
afternoon on his instant weather.
13
00:01:08,854 --> 00:01:10,846
Say, listen, is
Eddie in bed yet?
14
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,135
No, not yet.
15
00:01:12,148 --> 00:01:14,811
He's in the living room
playing with a tape recorder.
16
00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:17,207
One of his little
friends left it here today.
17
00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:22,585
Isn't that sweet? He's
recording our kitty cat.
18
00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:26,215
Well, that's fine, but it's
getting rather late, dear.
19
00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:29,359
It's time Eddie was in bed
and started lying awake all night.
20
00:01:29,296 --> 00:01:32,130
You're right, dear. Why don't
you go in and say good night.
21
00:01:32,079 --> 00:01:34,913
I'll go upstairs and get his
bed ready. All right, dear.
22
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:38,799
It's such a cold, clammy night.
I think I'll prop the lid open.
23
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:43,768
Okay, kitty, one more time.
24
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,230
Eddie, time for bed, Son.
25
00:01:58,279 --> 00:01:59,907
In a minute, Pop.
26
00:02:01,191 --> 00:02:02,284
Eddie.
27
00:02:02,310 --> 00:02:06,008
Hey, Pop, why don't you record
your voice on the tape recorder...
28
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:08,622
so you can hear what you sound
like when you're yelling at us?
29
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:11,015
Not now, Son, maybe tomorrow.
30
00:02:11,076 --> 00:02:15,070
But I can't. I have to take this tape
recorder back to Bud Willet tomorrow.
31
00:02:14,979 --> 00:02:17,210
His father doesn't know
he brought it over here.
32
00:02:17,186 --> 00:02:18,677
Go ahead, Pop.
33
00:02:18,689 --> 00:02:22,888
No, Eddie, I'd be much too
embarrassed to talk into a microphone.
34
00:02:24,384 --> 00:02:25,875
Come on, Eddie. Up to bed.
35
00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:28,619
Okay. Good night,
Pop. Good night, Eddie.
36
00:02:30,335 --> 00:02:32,133
And horrible dreams.
37
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:49,136
Testing, one, two, three.
Testing, one, two, three.
38
00:02:59,254 --> 00:03:03,589
Testing, one, two, three.
Testing, one, two, three.
39
00:03:06,772 --> 00:03:09,708
Help! Help! Lily, help!
40
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:16,667
How silly, it's only us.
41
00:03:50,535 --> 00:03:52,595
Head for the hills!
It's King Kong!
42
00:03:55,494 --> 00:04:00,091
Boy, am I scary or am I scary?
43
00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:10,139
Herman, what are
you doing down there?
44
00:05:10,128 --> 00:05:11,994
Be with you in a minute, dear.
45
00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:13,247
Well, hurry up.
46
00:05:13,264 --> 00:05:17,360
Grandpa turned off the storm and
all this quiet is making me nervous.
47
00:05:17,263 --> 00:05:18,629
Yes, dear.
48
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,112
Oh, that husband of mine.
49
00:05:22,797 --> 00:05:24,857
What could be keeping him?
50
00:05:35,273 --> 00:05:39,608
? My toe bone's
connected to my foot bone ?
51
00:05:39,528 --> 00:05:43,192
? My foot bone's
connected to my heel bone ?
52
00:05:43,111 --> 00:05:45,910
? My heel bone's
connected to my ankle bone ?
53
00:05:45,863 --> 00:05:49,163
? That's how they
connected those dry bones ?
54
00:05:49,157 --> 00:05:50,887
??
55
00:05:52,964 --> 00:05:54,455
Sing it, Charlie. Sing it!
56
00:05:54,819 --> 00:05:57,516
? My leg bone's connected
to my knee bone ?
57
00:05:57,475 --> 00:06:00,240
? My knee bone's
connected to my thigh bone ?
58
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:03,130
? My thigh bone's
connected to my hip bone ?
59
00:06:03,073 --> 00:06:06,100
? That's how they
connected those dry bones ?
60
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,096
??
61
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:17,410
? Back with Dr. Frankenstein
is where my story starts ?
62
00:06:17,565 --> 00:06:20,330
? Everything I have
may not be mine ?
63
00:06:20,284 --> 00:06:22,617
? But I'm a gentleman of parts ?
64
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:26,046
? My back bone's connected
to my shoulder bone ?
65
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,776
? My shoulder bone's
connected to my neck bone ?
66
00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:31,598
? My neck bone is
bolted to my head bone ?
67
00:06:31,545 --> 00:06:33,639
? And that's how
Herman was born ?
68
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,149
? I was assembled ?
69
00:06:37,112 --> 00:06:40,082
And that's how ?
70
00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:45,755
? A Hermie-baby was born ??
71
00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,736
So long, everybody.
72
00:07:01,744 --> 00:07:05,476
Goodbye, Eddie. You be a
rotten little boy in school today.
73
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,637
And if you play
any rough games...
74
00:07:07,631 --> 00:07:09,793
be sure to protect
those dear little ears.
75
00:07:09,774 --> 00:07:10,798
Okay, Mom.
76
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,574
Aren't you leaving early
this morning, Eddie?
77
00:07:12,526 --> 00:07:13,994
Yeah, that's on
account on the way...
78
00:07:13,997 --> 00:07:16,660
I gotta drop off Bud Willet's
tape recorder at his house.
79
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:17,849
Well see you.
80
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,931
Bud Willet left his
tape recorder here?
81
00:07:21,898 --> 00:07:24,561
Yes, he and Eddie were
playing with it yesterday.
82
00:07:24,522 --> 00:07:26,354
I don't think
they hurt it any...
83
00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:29,782
but whoever turns it on may
hear some pretty childish noises.
84
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,873
? My shoulder bone's
connected to my neck bone ?
85
00:07:34,824 --> 00:07:37,658
? My neck bone is
bolted to my head bone ?
86
00:07:37,606 --> 00:07:39,632
? And that's how
Herman was born ?
87
00:07:39,654 --> 00:07:41,850
? I was assembled ?
88
00:07:42,085 --> 00:07:45,078
? And that's how ?
89
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:50,532
? A Hermie-baby was born ??
90
00:07:54,945 --> 00:07:56,811
It's a switch anyway, Dick.
91
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:57,995
Yes. Who's the singer?
92
00:07:58,016 --> 00:07:59,075
I don't know, Bill.
93
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,369
I got this tape in the
mail about a week ago...
94
00:08:01,343 --> 00:08:03,505
and it had three or
four audition tunes on it.
95
00:08:03,487 --> 00:08:05,422
And my kid was fooling
around with the machine...
96
00:08:05,406 --> 00:08:08,001
and apparently he erased
everything on it but this one.
97
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:11,094
I got to admit I've never heard
it sung quite like that before.
98
00:08:11,037 --> 00:08:14,940
Has kind of a
out-of-this-world type quality.
99
00:08:14,843 --> 00:08:17,506
Yeah, and that guitar
has a new sound.
100
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:21,123
You know, just for kicks, I
think I'll play it on my 6:00 show...
101
00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:22,678
and see if we get any reaction.
102
00:08:22,681 --> 00:08:25,617
You don't think it's
too corny? Too corny?
103
00:08:25,561 --> 00:08:27,792
With the way the music
business is today...
104
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,634
I just hope it's corny enough.
105
00:08:35,541 --> 00:08:38,375
Marilyn, Eddie, dinner is ready.
106
00:08:40,852 --> 00:08:42,286
Here we are!
107
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,564
Marilyn, take the chicken
back to the kitchen.
108
00:08:50,545 --> 00:08:52,605
I'm afraid it's not quite done.
109
00:08:53,105 --> 00:08:54,767
Looks good to me.
110
00:08:55,152 --> 00:08:56,381
Grandpa!
111
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,004
??
112
00:09:07,245 --> 00:09:11,546
Eddie, now I told you not to
bring that radio to the table.
113
00:09:11,436 --> 00:09:12,460
Turn it off!
114
00:09:12,491 --> 00:09:15,461
But, gee, Mom, they play
neat music on this program.
115
00:09:15,402 --> 00:09:18,133
And now for a sound
that's really different...
116
00:09:18,089 --> 00:09:19,990
here is an
unreleased recording...
117
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,912
by an artist whose
name we don't even know.
118
00:09:21,897 --> 00:09:25,129
Eddie, will you do as your
mother says and turn that off?
119
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:28,694
They play nothing but
rotten junk on that program.
120
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:30,334
??
121
00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:34,281
? My toe bone's
connected to my foot bone ?
122
00:09:34,597 --> 00:09:37,192
? My foot bone's
connected to my heel bone ?
123
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,747
? My heel bone's
connected to my ankle bone ?
124
00:09:39,715 --> 00:09:42,844
? That's how they
connected those dry bones ?
125
00:09:42,786 --> 00:09:44,448
??
126
00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:48,070
? My leg bone's connected
to my knee bone ?
127
00:09:48,385 --> 00:09:49,614
Junk is right.
128
00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:53,161
It sounds almost as bad as
Herman singing in the shower.
129
00:09:53,087 --> 00:09:55,454
Just listen to that awful voice.
130
00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:58,625
??
131
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,745
Will you listen to that guy?
132
00:10:04,732 --> 00:10:07,600
It sounds like a
werewolf with laryngitis!
133
00:10:11,707 --> 00:10:12,868
Yeah, you're right.
134
00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:15,325
Even I wouldn't want to
listen to that while I'm eating.
135
00:10:16,377 --> 00:10:20,815
It's the worst thing I have ever
heard. Don't you agree, Herman?
136
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,572
Oh...
137
00:10:23,031 --> 00:10:24,465
Well, I...
138
00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:27,808
You don't mean
you're so tone-deaf...
139
00:10:27,798 --> 00:10:30,427
you actually like
that horrible singing?
140
00:10:31,701 --> 00:10:34,261
Well, gosh, I... No!
141
00:10:34,836 --> 00:10:35,836
No!
142
00:10:36,755 --> 00:10:38,690
It sounds just like...
143
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,939
What was it, Grandpa?
144
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:43,415
A werewolf with laryngitis.
145
00:10:43,761 --> 00:10:46,890
That's it, a werewolf
with laryngitis.
146
00:10:55,502 --> 00:10:57,869
Hey, how about all that mail?
147
00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,821
It's an avalanche!
148
00:11:00,012 --> 00:11:03,005
All of these people
requesting that crazy song.
149
00:11:02,956 --> 00:11:04,948
Listen to these, I just
pulled these this morning.
150
00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:05,963
All right.
151
00:11:05,995 --> 00:11:08,829
"A really different
singer." Different singer.
152
00:11:08,778 --> 00:11:12,010
"A simple, unaffected
voice." Simple, unaffected.
153
00:11:11,945 --> 00:11:14,437
"A modern-day minstrel."
Modern-day minstrel!
154
00:11:14,568 --> 00:11:15,831
Here's one.
155
00:11:15,848 --> 00:11:16,872
Hmm.
156
00:11:16,904 --> 00:11:18,770
"Poignant." Poignant.
157
00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:20,523
"Sexy." Sexy.
158
00:11:20,678 --> 00:11:22,044
Sexy?
159
00:11:22,054 --> 00:11:23,750
That's from the
old ladies' home.
160
00:11:24,294 --> 00:11:25,557
Sexy.
161
00:11:25,573 --> 00:11:27,132
You know, Bill, this could be...
162
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:29,006
the biggest gimmick
we have ever had.
163
00:11:28,997 --> 00:11:32,161
You going to keep playing him on
the air? Day and night, I'm going to.
164
00:11:32,099 --> 00:11:35,934
I don't know who he is, but this
mystery singer has something.
165
00:11:36,258 --> 00:11:38,625
He could be the biggest
thing since Burl Ives...
166
00:11:38,594 --> 00:11:41,564
put a blue-tail fly in
every ear in America.
167
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,766
Good luck.
168
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,311
Ladies and gentlemen...
169
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:50,642
please listen carefully to the
first few bars of this next number.
170
00:11:51,102 --> 00:11:52,866
??
171
00:11:54,525 --> 00:11:57,620
Oh my, there's that
terrible record again.
172
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:01,593
? My heel bone's
connected to my ankle bone ?
173
00:12:01,563 --> 00:12:04,624
? That's how they
connected those dry bones ?
174
00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:07,326
??
175
00:12:07,321 --> 00:12:09,051
Yes, that's the song...
176
00:12:09,049 --> 00:12:11,644
we've had thousands of
requests for in the past week.
177
00:12:11,608 --> 00:12:15,704
Ladies and gentlemen, this
station is repeating its previous offer.
178
00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:18,441
If the mystery singer who
made this overnight hit record...
179
00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:19,858
will contact this station...
180
00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:23,890
there's a five-year recording
contract waiting for him.
181
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,486
Isn't that ridiculous?
182
00:12:27,476 --> 00:12:32,278
Offering a contract to a
no-talent bum like that.
183
00:12:32,306 --> 00:12:34,298
If you can identify
that singer...
184
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:35,815
please, ladies and gentlemen...
185
00:12:35,825 --> 00:12:39,023
phone this station
at Zenith 9460.
186
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,126
That's Zenith 9460.
187
00:12:46,158 --> 00:12:49,595
Zenith 9460. Herman,
what are you mumbling?
188
00:12:51,565 --> 00:12:54,558
The telephone number
of the radio station. Why?
189
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:56,841
Because it just so happens
that I'm the no-talent bum...
190
00:12:56,811 --> 00:12:58,473
to whom the man was referring.
191
00:12:58,474 --> 00:13:01,911
You mean, you were singing
that awful song on the radio?
192
00:13:02,473 --> 00:13:03,600
I don't believe it.
193
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,692
I don't believe it either!
194
00:13:10,151 --> 00:13:13,610
Would you believe it if I
sang a few bars, Mr. Willet?
195
00:13:15,398 --> 00:13:16,525
Fine.
196
00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:29,330
? My toe bone's
connected to my foot bone ?
197
00:13:29,537 --> 00:13:33,474
? My foot bone's connected
to my ankle bone ?
198
00:13:33,728 --> 00:13:34,889
? My... ??
199
00:13:38,815 --> 00:13:40,374
He believes it.
200
00:13:40,606 --> 00:13:44,168
Gee, Pop, my own father
on the radio! Herman!
201
00:13:45,149 --> 00:13:46,913
Please, please, family, family.
202
00:13:47,645 --> 00:13:50,809
You must remember one
thing: when a star is phoning...
203
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,648
you must keep your voice down.
204
00:13:54,299 --> 00:13:55,460
Oh, boy!
205
00:13:58,681 --> 00:14:01,879
Now, about that recording
contract, Dick, baby...
206
00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:10,342
Yes, that was
Herman Munster's...
207
00:14:10,326 --> 00:14:11,851
sensational
runaway hit record...
208
00:14:11,861 --> 00:14:16,424
that's been in third place in the
Top 40 for two consecutive weeks!
209
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,228
Go, baby, go!
210
00:14:21,683 --> 00:14:25,176
Uncle Herman, please! Come
quick. What's the matter, dear?
211
00:14:25,106 --> 00:14:27,302
It's Grandpa, his lightning
machine is on fire...
212
00:14:27,281 --> 00:14:30,774
and if you don't come down and help
him put it out, it'll just blow up the lab!
213
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:34,072
Tell dear Grandpapa that I'm
much too busy to see him right now.
214
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:37,094
Perhaps he could arrange an
appointment with me next Tuesday.
215
00:14:37,039 --> 00:14:39,436
But Uncle Herman...
216
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:48,254
Will you please try and knock off
the noise? I'm trying to concentrate.
217
00:15:06,854 --> 00:15:11,224
Herman, it's 5:00 in the morning,
an hour past your bedtime.
218
00:15:11,108 --> 00:15:13,236
What on earth are you doing?
219
00:15:14,276 --> 00:15:17,940
I'm merely making sure
that I'll look my best...
220
00:15:17,859 --> 00:15:20,624
when I sing my hit
record on TV tomorrow.
221
00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:23,000
Television?
222
00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:25,649
You're going on television?
223
00:15:26,816 --> 00:15:28,216
That's right, dear.
224
00:15:28,223 --> 00:15:30,624
Mr. Willet has his
own weekly TV show...
225
00:15:30,591 --> 00:15:32,958
and he's been smart
enough to beg me...
226
00:15:32,926 --> 00:15:34,758
to appear on it tomorrow night.
227
00:15:35,357 --> 00:15:38,850
Herman, I know you're
handsome and loaded with charm...
228
00:15:39,452 --> 00:15:42,581
but you've never had any
experience in front of a camera.
229
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,672
Have no fear, Lily.
230
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:48,079
If the fans are thrilled
just by hearing my voice...
231
00:15:48,026 --> 00:15:50,120
imagine how they'll
flip when my face...
232
00:15:50,105 --> 00:15:51,698
comes right into
their living room.
233
00:15:56,696 --> 00:15:59,825
Lily, dear, why don't
you go to sleep?
234
00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:03,146
I'm going downstairs
just for a little while.
235
00:16:03,957 --> 00:16:07,621
I want to exercise
my golden voice.
236
00:16:09,364 --> 00:16:11,299
??
237
00:16:12,243 --> 00:16:14,872
Herman's been
acting so hammy lately.
238
00:16:15,186 --> 00:16:19,715
I wonder what would happen
if he became a really big star?
239
00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:31,923
Will success spoil
Herman Munster?
240
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:45,531
? I love you love you, baby
and all that kind of groovey junk ?
241
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:49,046
? If you'll be my
swinging baby ?
242
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:51,161
? I will be your
ever lovin' punk ?
243
00:16:52,264 --> 00:16:53,892
??
244
00:17:03,812 --> 00:17:05,747
Heavens to Betsy.
245
00:17:06,852 --> 00:17:08,377
Worse still...
246
00:17:08,899 --> 00:17:12,927
what if he became a
singing star in pictures?
247
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,862
Thank you.
248
00:17:25,438 --> 00:17:26,438
Oh.
249
00:17:27,485 --> 00:17:31,217
I would like to thank
all the little people...
250
00:17:31,613 --> 00:17:34,845
who worked so hard to
make this picture a success.
251
00:17:35,612 --> 00:17:40,209
I would like to thank them, but I
really can't, because I did it all myself.
252
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:57,600
Of course, being
the wife of a big star...
253
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:00,331
would have its compensations.
254
00:18:04,755 --> 00:18:09,090
Now, Mr. Munster, would
you mind telling the court...
255
00:18:09,681 --> 00:18:12,651
just why you're
divorcing your wife, Lily...
256
00:18:12,912 --> 00:18:15,905
after 100 years of marriage?
257
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,247
Not at all.
258
00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:21,445
My psychiatrist advises me...
259
00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:24,840
that as an award-winning
box-office giant...
260
00:18:25,453 --> 00:18:28,753
my monumental ego
requires that I change wives...
261
00:18:28,684 --> 00:18:31,085
as often as I change my socks.
262
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:40,610
Why that no-good,
two-timing, tone-deaf ham!
263
00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:49,241
I hate to do this, but we've
simply got to find some way...
264
00:18:49,158 --> 00:18:51,627
to nip Herman's
career in the bud.
265
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:55,651
That dream I had last night was the
straw that broke the dragon's back.
266
00:18:59,523 --> 00:19:00,821
I know, I know.
267
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,634
He's become such a ham,
he's impossible to live with.
268
00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:06,181
I asked him to sign my
report card this morning...
269
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,081
but he said, "Please,
sonny, no autographs."
270
00:19:11,072 --> 00:19:13,541
Now, let me see
what we have here.
271
00:19:14,175 --> 00:19:16,167
"A falling star potion."
272
00:19:16,350 --> 00:19:18,148
"Box-office poison."
273
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:22,736
Here it is. The recipe
for "Nuthin' muffins!"
274
00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:24,556
Nuthin' muffins? Yes.
275
00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:27,767
One bite out of a nuthin'
muffin is guaranteed...
276
00:19:27,739 --> 00:19:30,265
to turn anything
good into nothing.
277
00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:33,868
Do you think they'll
work? Will it work?
278
00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:37,375
Thirty years ago in Detroit,
a fellow ate a batch of them.
279
00:19:37,304 --> 00:19:40,433
The next day he sat down
and designed the Essex.
280
00:19:41,303 --> 00:19:43,602
Fine. Well, I'll run up...
281
00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:45,668
and make a whole batch
of nuthin' muffins now.
282
00:19:45,654 --> 00:19:47,020
Good.
283
00:19:47,126 --> 00:19:48,355
Oh-oh.
284
00:19:49,077 --> 00:19:53,139
Herman's been on a diet ever
since he found out about going on TV.
285
00:19:53,044 --> 00:19:55,036
He won't even touch starches.
286
00:19:56,019 --> 00:19:57,647
Don't you worry about it.
287
00:19:57,651 --> 00:20:00,587
You just go ahead and make
that batch of nuthin' muffins.
288
00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,499
Grandpa will see
that he eats one...
289
00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:05,417
if I have to jam
it down his throat.
290
00:20:10,799 --> 00:20:14,361
Herman, are you sure
you don't want a muffin?
291
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:18,470
Thank you very much, dear,
but no. I'm on a very strict diet.
292
00:20:18,732 --> 00:20:20,564
Anyway, I want to run
over my song once...
293
00:20:20,556 --> 00:20:22,388
before I go down
to the TV station.
294
00:20:24,171 --> 00:20:27,039
All right, Herman,
anything you want.
295
00:20:28,521 --> 00:20:29,545
Lily.
296
00:20:29,577 --> 00:20:31,569
That's the signal. Load!
297
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:34,800
Aim.
298
00:20:34,824 --> 00:20:37,453
? My toe bone's
connected to my foot bone ?
299
00:20:37,415 --> 00:20:38,348
Fire!
300
00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:39,375
? My foot bone's... ??
301
00:20:44,613 --> 00:20:48,607
? My heel bone's
connected to my ankle bone ?
302
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:53,075
? That's how they connected
That's how they connected ?
303
00:20:53,474 --> 00:20:56,103
? That's how they
connected those dry bones ?
304
00:20:56,097 --> 00:20:57,793
??
305
00:20:57,793 --> 00:21:01,628
What happened? What happened?
My voice! My voice! My golden throat!
306
00:21:05,919 --> 00:21:09,617
Is something amiss,
star? Grandpa, please!
307
00:21:10,046 --> 00:21:12,743
? My toe bone's
connected to my foot bone ?
308
00:21:12,701 --> 00:21:14,192
? My foot bone's
connected to my... ??
309
00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:17,801
Help! Help! I'm
ruined! Finished! Kaput!
310
00:21:18,491 --> 00:21:19,959
Calm down, Herman.
311
00:21:22,778 --> 00:21:26,442
I can't calm down! I'm finished!
I'm finished! I'm finished!
312
00:21:26,361 --> 00:21:27,954
Do you hear? I'm finished!
313
00:21:27,961 --> 00:21:30,089
Take that! And that, and that...
314
00:21:30,072 --> 00:21:32,234
and that, and that, and that!
315
00:21:32,215 --> 00:21:34,844
Now, Poopsie, simmer down.
316
00:21:34,807 --> 00:21:37,538
You just have to
learn to face reality.
317
00:21:37,558 --> 00:21:39,618
Cancel your TV appearance!
318
00:21:40,117 --> 00:21:43,212
I can't! I can't! I
can't! I can't! I can't!
319
00:21:43,828 --> 00:21:45,592
Yes, you can, dear.
320
00:21:45,844 --> 00:21:49,872
Well, if I do... Yes, Herman?
321
00:21:50,194 --> 00:21:53,653
If I do, will you buy
me a new guitar?
322
00:21:53,905 --> 00:21:55,533
Of course, dear.
323
00:22:14,892 --> 00:22:17,521
Honest, Uncle Herman,
we did what we did...
324
00:22:17,642 --> 00:22:20,009
because we all love you so much.
325
00:22:20,042 --> 00:22:21,908
Marilyn's right, dear.
326
00:22:21,993 --> 00:22:25,361
We all realized that your
becoming a big recording star...
327
00:22:25,289 --> 00:22:28,384
was changing all those
sweet, lovable qualities...
328
00:22:28,328 --> 00:22:30,297
that were built into you
from the beginning...
329
00:22:30,279 --> 00:22:34,614
and it was turning you into
something weird and strange.
330
00:22:34,597 --> 00:22:37,533
Sure, Pop. No kid
wants a freak for a father.
331
00:22:37,476 --> 00:22:40,139
Mom and Marilyn and
Grandpa and I did what we did...
332
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:43,559
because we want the guy
who makes us feel like a family.
333
00:22:44,387 --> 00:22:47,152
Well, golly, gee,
now that you all...
334
00:22:47,106 --> 00:22:49,200
put it that way, I don't
feel so badly about...
335
00:22:49,634 --> 00:22:52,126
losing out on a big
career and breaking...
336
00:22:52,097 --> 00:22:54,328
my expensive
guitar and everything.
337
00:22:55,136 --> 00:22:58,504
You've opened my eyes,
and I'm going to do it.
338
00:23:02,238 --> 00:23:04,798
I'm going to quit
the star business.
339
00:23:04,989 --> 00:23:09,427
Herman, I hate to say
this, you're a pretty nice guy.
340
00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:13,527
You're no Norman Vincent
Peale, but you're a pretty nice guy!
341
00:23:15,706 --> 00:23:19,143
Well, I guess that
just about sums it up.
342
00:23:19,897 --> 00:23:22,025
I'm gonna go up to
bed and hit the hay.
343
00:23:22,008 --> 00:23:24,239
No, Herman. Just a minute.
344
00:23:24,215 --> 00:23:28,243
Not until we sing this little
song for you. Now, ready?
345
00:23:28,310 --> 00:23:31,144
A-one, a-two, a-three.
346
00:23:31,317 --> 00:23:33,718
For he's a jolly good fellow ?
347
00:23:33,685 --> 00:23:35,381
? For he's a jolly good fellow ?
348
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:37,815
? For he's a jolly good fellow ?
349
00:23:37,780 --> 00:23:40,443
? Which nobody can deny ??
350
00:23:40,493 --> 00:23:45,043
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